Thirteen Ghosts (2001) KILL COUNT

[Music] welcome to the kill count where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies i'm james agenese and today we're looking at 13 ghosts which is often written in leadspeak this very 2001 horror movie is something of a cult favorite and it's been getting renewed attention lately though i promise it was already on the kill count calendar before my buddy foundflix released his video about it i always mentally group this movie with contemporary supernatural fare like the haunting and house on haunted hill the latter made by the same production company dark castle entertainment as the name implies dark castle was originally formed to remake william castle movies 13 ghosts is a remake of castle's 1960 film and if you've listened to our podcast episode about horror gimmicks it wouldn't surprise you to learn that the original 13 ghosts was released with enhanced marketing illusion a pair of colored cellophane glasses that when worn by an audience member would reveal the ghosts in the film the thirteen ghosts remake similarly relies on smoke and mirrors to entertain the audience but instead of viewing gimmicks it covers up its weaknesses with a flashy style and great production design most of the film takes place inside a giant glass house contraption that is visually striking and impressively designed the same compliments can be paid to the 12 ghosts trapped inside of it who can only be seen by the other characters when they're wearing special glasses a nod to bill castle's illusion oh unfortunately the ghosts in the glass house are just about all 13 ghosts as going for it an argument could be made for its cast of familiar and charming faces i'm always a fan of matthew lillard chewing up scenery but when it comes to the story it's an indecipherable mess a byzantine tangle of spiritual spell requirements and demonic possessed astronomers trapping ghosts to predict the future this nonsense is dumped into our laps in a couple of repetitive exposition heavy scenes and in between those we're treated to endless minutes of the character splitting up getting lost and sometimes flat out disappearing i love this movie as a kid and it certainly has its charms but nostalgia can't cover up its many noticeable flaws also anyone who gets annoyed by flashy editing is gonna have a bad time in fact people who are photosensitive might want to skip this one altogether the flashes just happen too often for me to put a warning every time the movie does have at least one amazing kill in it and because i have to show it to you this episode is sponsored you may not be able to buy glasses that let you see ghosts but you can buy earbuds that let you hear high quality sound raycon earbuds deliver premium sound in a compact design with no dangling stems that a killer ghost could grab you by they're so damn comfy chelsea sometimes sleeps with them in listens to german she's brushing up on it i use them while working out on my brand new muscle machine because i know they won't fall out no matter how active i'm being to enjoy their noise isolating sound seamless bluetooth pairing and six hours of play time go to buyraycon.com deadmeat and get 15 off your raycon purchase if you don't love them return them for free in 45 days that's byracon.com deadme the links in the description for 15 off your order today i know the movie's called 13 ghosts but this ain't the ghost count let's get to counting the kills [Music] the movie begins with a big old truck smashing its way into a junkyard this crew of dudes and reflective safety ponchos works for ghost hunter cyrus kritikos played by f murray abraham lending this movie an enormous amount of credibility that's salieri dude his lackey dennis rafkin played by matthew the little woozy feeler lillard is a psychic who can sense ghosts in this junkyard he feels the presence of one so pissed and murderous that's trying to crush them with old cars that kind of shit better come with hazard pay this one isn't like the others then i'll give you a bonus you don't have that kind of money after tonight you'll be surprised not get to work dennis is helping cyrus capture his 12th ghost a practice that wins them protests from this dude damon and his wife i think kalina these aren't animals you're capturing they're human beings they are dead human beings maybe you should join greenpeace throw blood on old women's furs kalina is played by m beth davids last seen on the kill count in army of darkness which should get a cut comparison sometime this year kalina and damon mention a secret plan cyrus has involving spells and a 13th ghost but before dennis can get any elucidation cyrus orders the bait brought in a truck full of blood you gotta be shitty nah man they're jumping that junkyard thanks to that blood and some creepy latin spells cyrus summons the junkyard spirit who makes a first person entrance to kick off our kill count the first two kills i count here are dead bodies that might have had their kills edited out we see a corpse hanging from a stack of cars as it falls onto some body pieces which i thought at first could have come from the chumming truck but both these victims have those panchos on so they must have been some of cyrus's dudes the next three kills are much more clear one guy dies with a windshield blood splatter another with a very well done backwards body snap in half and after dennis sees the ghost by wearing ghost vision glasses it kills a third guy by cutting him in half with a car the other ghost hunters run occasionally tossed aside in non-lethal ways until one unfortunate dude gets trapped as the ghost cube closes with him and the spirit inside the big boy ghost whose name is the juggernaut kills the nameless guy by breaking his body against the ghost cell walls dennis survives the harrowing attack but he finds kalina next to a mortally wounded demon who bleeds out to death on the ground dennis then finds he may have a problem collecting his paycheck when he sees cyrus similarly situated an efficient opening credit sequence introduces cyrus's nephew arthur critico played by tony shalhoub one year before monk premiered during the circular slow pan arthur's wife jean perishes in a house fire off screen it's done in voice over dialogue that sounds like a radio show reenactment right now i can't go back in there sir but i'll count it because we did kind of meet her before she died and also she'll be important later on spoiler alert a year later jean's family struggles in her absence they're plagued by money problems though they still employ nanny maggie played by rapper rod digga not sure how much help maggie is when older sister kathy is left cooking for herself and her brother bobby who's obsessed with true crime bobby's an annoyingly precocious little kid who i kinda hate even if he does defend my livelihood dad will you tell kathy that keeping a record of death is healthy it's into this mouse drum of stress and strife that a smarmy suited man interjects himself this is ben moss a lawyer representing cyrus's estate he tells arthur his late uncle left a video message for him one that looks like he's about to start begging for red or blue pages instead he tells his nephew that he's inherited his home and you don't even need to give that zillow presentation dog arthur and his family are in close that window oh wait it's back perhaps we'll meet again in another life brother the family follows ben moss far outside the city to the isolated home they've just inherited from uncle cyrus wow dad it's beautiful yeah i guess if you've always wanted to live in an escape room with elven script all over the windows speak friend and enter right dennis is here posing as an electrician trying to fix a local power outage arthur agrees to let him in and when he opens the door the house seems to come alive whirling and twirling and illuminating itself inside the glass walls guess uncle cyrus wasn't too keen on privacy or he wanted people to see him naked rich old guys be like that sometimes you know the doors open and grant them entrance into the see-through home with latin written everywhere the valuable artifacts inside might be the answer to arthur's money problems but dennis is gonna have to take care of his bank account himself that's why he's here to collect the payment he never got from cyrus so while the criticosis are marveling at the davinci device they now call home dennis heads into the basement to find a stash of cash downstairs he only finds psychological torment as flashes of ghouls and ghosts rack his mind a lot of bad vibes down here because as the specter specs reveal this basement is a ghost prison and the inmates are none too pleased completely shook by this poltergeist penitentiary dennis tells arthur who he really is i used to hunt ghosts with your uncle cyrus goats bees ghosts beads dennis says arthur needs to get his family out of this house and try not to touch him while you're doing that secondhand trauma really stings shit like that is why theo wore gloves too bad arthur's family is scattered all over this place scooting from here to there and finding rooms to claim as their own an abandoned dusty bed wee look out bed bugs as maggie finds a pair of those ghost revealing goggles ben moss dips out from arthur and puts his own pair on looks like he's familiar with and dismissive of the captive ghosts down here oh jeez you what's the matter honey bad representation he finds a case with his payment for bringing arthur's family here and inadvertently triggers the house to become more active which includes shuttering its doors and windows to the outside world this new take on a haunted house swapping out the classic creaky gothic style for a modern glass construction is never not awesome to look at production designer sean hargreaves wanted the house to feel like another character which is why it was built practically on the bridge studios lot in vancouver over three miles of glass panes and nearly five tons of steel were used to build the house and the ultra-modern glass walls were balanced out by the antique production design that used a lot of clock gears welded metal and stained glass now it's one thing to design a set that looks cool because it's all glass but it's another thing to shoot on it the unique set caused a lot of issues while filming of course we could see all the way through the house and all the way the other side where people were standing around and you know having coffee and donuts and was also a potential safety hazard part of the reason there's latin lettering on the see-through walls was to stop the cast and crew from running into them the biggest issues were glare and reflections you'll have a reflection here from something way over here and you try to find out what it's from and so we try and have uh most of the crew wearing dark clothing to help avoid catching reflections of cameras and crew the set was lit in a 360 degree manner with lights shining down through the ceilings and up through the glass floors it was a huge ordeal but the movie had a fair amount of money behind it and production designer sean hargreaves proved to be exceptional at his job which is probably why he wound up as the senior concept designer for infinity war end game ragnarok and the upcoming halo series as the house's layout continues to shift around one of the ghost cells is open freeing the angry princess that naked slashed up ghost ben was just teasing he tries to backpedal his earlier remarks but he backpedals his ass right into a door frame and is cut in half when the glass door slams shut right through his body this is one of the most standout kills i ever saw as a kid few horror movie deaths are as indelibly written in my memory as this dude's frontal plane bifurcation it's beautiful really arthur and dennis split up to find arthur's kids since the house's centrifuge or whatever is revving up its gears and continuing to close off all the exits while steve beck wanted most of this movie to be done practically there were times when that just wasn't feasible for shots like the spinning gear thing here they turned to michael fink's team a visual effects artist they worked their asses off combining layers of effects sometimes taking several months to make shots that were only four seconds long i think their digital work looks great for the time it's a good use of cg in a glass bathroom that kathy's currently obsessed with we get a very cool shot that goes through the ghost glasses to let the audience see the bloody spiritual world that's how we see that kathy's made a princess friend kathy's played by shannon elizabeth by the way last seen on the kill count in jack frost made four years earlier here she is again given a scene involving a bathtub though thankfully one with less snowman rape kathy splashes her face with the princess's tub water which is surely a patreon reward somewhere the water turns to blood and the princess goes to get her but then arthur interrupts the scene and says they need to skedaddle maggie's here too but bobby is not he ran off from her earlier and is now scooting his poofy head up and down the house when it comes to all these glass hallway scenes they make me feel like matthew lillard looks it's a total fucking drag to watch the characters constantly looking around and calling out for each other so many scenes with them running around splitting up and getting lost all by his lonesome bobby hears some ghastly voices coming from downstairs they send him mixed fun messages don't come down bobby and he follows them into the basement where he runs into a couple of scary ghosts a screaming dude wrapped in cellophane called the torso and another ghost the bound woman played by laura manal who was previously on the kill count in trick-or-treat where a pseudo-vampire left her dead in the street bobby then sees a ghost of christmas pass when he witnesses his dead mom gene coming towards him but before he can ask her for any makeup christmas gifts he sees cyrus criticos and screams and good we're done with the shitty kid character for a while seems like more and more of these ghosts are running free no longer imprisoned by the containment spells written in latin on the ectobar glass see ghosts can't cross those ghosts yes ghosts ghosts but arthur ain't afraid of no ghosts and wants to head into the basement to find bobby what'd i just say did i just say there's a petting zoo downstairs no there are ghosts downstairs arthur that line is one of two jokes written by an uncredited james gunn who must have been brought in for punch-ups the actual screenplay was written by richard davidio and neil marshall stevens the latter of whom has written a lot of full moon features including three puppet masters arthur convinces dennis to help him out in the basement by promising to pay him a lot of money money money money once they're down there guess what they decide to split up just like the horror movie characters they are dennis and maggie find another one of the ghost cells open though thankfully not the one containing the hammer god i hate it when they do that dennis shares his glasses so maggie can finally see the ghost and explains that ghosts are all around them it's just that most are pretty chill not all pissed like this handsome feller meanwhile kathy takes another pair of glasses and equips them to find the jackal a super scare ghost who drags kathy down the hallway right in front of arthur's eyes damn jackal he's up on her william punching her in the head and shit arthur and kathy don't stand a chance against the jackal so it's a good thing kalina shows up with a flare she fends off the jackal and helps arthur drag his daughter safely behind some enchanted glass if you forgot about kalina i don't blame you although she had one more standalone scene i didn't include earlier she's a poorly written character that feels more like a plot device than an actual human being i'm in the spirit reclamation business what i free trapped souls a shame cause i love me miss hunting arthur finally puts on some ghost goggles and sees that the ghosts are really real feels late in the game for the main character to do this but whatever now he knows kalina goes on a lengthy exposition rant and explains that this house was built based on plans written by a possessed 15th century astronomer named basilius it's basically a giant demon device that's meant to predict the future and it runs on human souls that seems like a lot of things movie you couldn't edit them down a bit not like you have a problem editing down your characters cause kathy's all of a sudden fucking missing like she was there then they went to close-ups as arthur and kalina looked at that book and when they cut back to a wide shot she was gone good thing we had gone nearly five whole minutes without the characters looking for someone speaking of which dennis and maggie continue looking for bobby but instead run into some ghosts including the firstborn son a little boy goes to isn't too much of a threat the torn prince a baseball bat bashing banshee who almost gets dennis and a pair of ghosts called the dire mother and the great child the latter played by c ernst harth who funny enough also played a big baby in trick or treat where he was a victim of the sexy lycan lady clan eventually dennis and maggie run into kalina and arthur who just barely escapes an attack from a newly freed hammer kalina leads the ensemble deep into the house's interior which is explored by the camera in a nicely done creepy montage with good sound design [Music] at one point they get attacked by the jackal who turns arthur's back into a scratching post but they're able to escape him and another ghost the pilgrimage by getting to the library and hiding behind their windex spells there colina reveals to arthur that his dead wife jean is one of this house's captive ghosts and dennis helped land her in ghost jail that bastard in another exposition dump kalina tells arthur about the 12 ghosts his wife jean is ghost number four the withered lover meaning she's stuck existing in the form of annoying flashy jump cuts i've already mentioned all 12 ghost names kalina reads from this book which places an extra special emphasis on number 11 the jackal and number 12 the juggernaut while dovidio and stevens wrote the screenplay it was director steve beck whose only other film was ghost ship released the following year who developed the movie's ghosts giving each of them individual personalities and backstories that background information is never fully revealed in the film but it is included in a 13 minute featurette called ghost viles which my buddy john squires of bloody disgusting calls his all-time favorite horror dvd bonus feature in it f murray abraham narrates as his character cyrus and explains the life and death of each of the spirits he's imprisoned inside his home ryan gnawed through his straitjacket until the doctors finally locked his head in a cage it's very well done and informs their appearance and accessories we see in the film for instance the torn prince was a small town baseball player who died in a drag race fire to bring the ghosts to life or you know what i mean beck had artist derek thompson create comic book style artwork based on the backstories he wrote these designs were tweaked constantly all the way up to the makeup process which was overseen by howard berger of knb effects makeup time buried for each ghost with some taking as long as five hours to apply some of the ghost actors had to wear uncomfortable contact lenses and actor john desantis who played the juggernaut said he was unable to see what he was doing half the time desantis's makeup involved a body suit to add bulk to his six foot nine 270 pound frame and six prosthetic pieces that were assembled on his face after production wrapped key makeup artist charles porlier salvaged and repainted the prosthetics and gave them to desantis as a gift i've actually never heard of that happening before i think it's really cool kalina says that for the house to run it needs the energy of these 12 ghosts and that after the last one is let out of its jail cell the demon machine will be in full swing she tells arthur the only way to stop it is with the titular 13th ghost which must be a person with a broken heart who willingly sacrifices themself to the machine wow the 13th ghost was the friends we made all no the 13th ghost was arthur it was arthur allah he's gonna have to jump into that demon eye thing to save his kids through the power of love love is the most powerful energy arthur and after that there's dynamite the second most powerful energy dennis wants to come up with a plan that doesn't involve sacrifice or dynamite and offers to help arthur as though they were ex-band members considering a farewell to her one last time while there's still time you and me they take a pane of enchanted glass out into the hallway as a shield causing another character's split as kalina and maggie start the dynamite leg of the mission that takes them to the heart of the house where maggie runs into a figure coming towards her with a cane she screams and kalina turns on her knocking her out with the exposition book cyrus kritikos is revealed to be a lie not at all a member of the spiritual world and i guess kalina is in love and working with him making that character even more of a blatant plot device why why are you so mad at me i did everything you asked me to do oh man now she's all whiny dennis and arthur's glass pane keeps them safe from the minor league ghosts but there's not room behind it for both of them to hide from the hammer dennis decides to be a good guy for once and lets arthur keep himself safe right as the machine opens the final ghost cell and you know who wasn't that one oh it's the juggernaut bitch the hammer and the juggernaut start double teaming dennis beating the ever-loving shit out of him with their hammers and fists dennis is killed when the juggernaut raises him high above his head and breaks his back against a corner oh i like it cyrus starts playing latin chants on the speakers and it recalls each of the ghosts one by one must be some sort of summoning spell because it's summoning them to the circle room where the floor's spinning round and round sorry arthur that includes gene she'd love to catch up with you right now but she's got a dip cyrus heads out to the ghost party too but looks like he's going stag kalina is left behind to get crushed to death by sliding glass walls he doesn't need her now that she's fulfilled her purpose for him her job was to lie to arthur about the nature of the 13th ghost turns out the 13th ghost isn't a fail-safe it's an ignition key cyrus needs arthur to sacrifice himself to get this demon eye machine running to encourage him to be a willing sacrifice he's put his kids in danger holding them at the center of the world's most dangerous armillary it's a pretty confusing plot which is why we hear embeth davids in a voiceover reiterating everything she said earlier this house is not a house it is a machine it feels like a last-minute attempt to clarify all this nonsense the voiceover also runs through the names of all 12 ghosts again because this movie knows they're the best part so might as well keep highlighting them arthur deduces that cyrus isn't a ghost and since his uncle has put his kids in danger he goes and gets a good face while a banana cyrus gets the upper hand and chides his nephew for being weak then demands that arthur sacrifice himself and become the 13th ghost the machine requires a ghost to be created out of an act of pure love that's why i chose you nephew you and your pathetic family maggie suddenly re-enters the movie by messing with cyrus's sound equipment quickly and anticlimactically sabotaging his plan with the spell broken the 12 ghosts are able to grab their captor and tormentor and kill him by throwing cyrus into the swinging rings yeah with some encouragement from ghost dennis arthur saves his kids by jumping through the swinging rings and pressing triangle in time then he just uh huddles over them as a malfunctioning of the machine's gears causes a housewide hurricane of glass shards how the fuck are they surviving this they're in that hurricane with the glass walls broken the ghosts are free to leave which almost gives this a fallen kingdom ending but with ghosts instead of dinosaurs the ghost of gene appears obviously the blue of this metaphor and lets her family know she's at peace with a couple of i love yous not so fun fact i learned during my research the shot of the ghosts running off to play was part of a day of reshoots that very unfortunately took place on september 11 2001 not the best day to be stuck in a makeup chair for five hours the movie ends with the criticos family hugging and a still living maggie declaring that she's not about to clean up this mess did 13 ghosts give us 13 bodies let's find out and get to the numbers ghost again [Music] 12 people died in 13 ghosts which i guess matches the 12 ghosts imprisoned inside the house the victims were ten guys and only two ladies a five to one ratio of dudes and with a run time of 91 minutes that left us with a kill on average every 7.58 minutes i'll give the golden chainsaw for coolest kill to ben moss obviously like i said this kill is an all-timer and i know i'm not the only one who will never forget it dull machete for lemur scale will be gene criticos fridge during the opening credits in an off-screen house fire and that's it 13 ghosts came out in 2001 and a lot of people really like it so i hope they enjoyed this episode until next time i'm james agenese this has been the kill count thanks a lot for watching this week's skill count i want to thank some patrons like serbery bradley pointer matthew quigley the right stuff fallen dusk gaming and jenna raven next week we have a horror adjacent kind of not really movie on the kill cow but i'm really excited for it thanks everyone be good people

Channel: Dead Meat

Views: 1,482,403

Rating: 4.9725571 out of 5

Keywords: horror, dead meat, movies, scary, films, kills, kill count, body count, james a. janisse, jaj, pine commander boogie, DMKC, thirteen ghosts, thirteen ghosts movie, thir13en ghosts, thir13en ghosts movie, thirteen ghosts reaction, thir13en ghosts reaction, horror movie, scary movie, horror movie review, scary movie review, thirteen ghosts horror movie, thirteen ghosts scary movie, thir13n ghosts scary movie, thir13n ghosts horror movie, thirteen ghosts 2001, thir13n ghosts 2001

Id: GfRoi1btxgc

Length: 25min 42sec (1542 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 02 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Vigilias]

Here's a fun fact : My dad worked on the set of 13 Ghosts and all those moving gears and machines you see that look huge and intricate are actually made of painted styrofoam.

[u/Genielove91]

The Jackel was the scariest ghost IMO!

[u/Katof9tales]

Matthew Lillard tho 😍 I completely forgot about this and ghost ship, gunna let them stay in the land of nostalgia and enjoy the memories 🤣💯

[u/Jambalamkins]

Thirteen ghost was one of my fav movies as a kid. I forgot all about it tbh

[u/Baghins]

Watched the kill count this morning and I cannot believe they built that entire actual house to film in! I always assumed it was built in pieces, and hearing them talk about trying to find sources of glare and prevent people from walking through the shot on the other side of the house makes me wonder why they didn't make it in pieces lol.

I loved that movie as a kid, it was SO cool, and watching the kill count made me want to see it again!

[u/PreppyFinanceNerd]

This was the first horror movie I saw that got me into the genre.

And, as a teenager, helped me realize I very much liked the ladies. 🤣 Puberty is weird man.

I'll always have such nostalgic love for my first horror movie.

[u/[deleted]]

kinda shock with the reception of this film over here. scared of this movie when i was a kid but rewatching it a few months ago and it’s so bland and just “meh” at best.

the monsters/ghost designs were the highlights.

[u/darkzidane22]

This movie had some awesome monster designs and pretty neat kills.

[u/Titan116]

I just bought the blu Ray recently and gave it a re-watch, it really is a case of style over substance. Shame that the backstory for the ghosts weren't included,, especially since they're better developed than the living characters. Instead it's just poorly fleshed out leading characters running from spooky ghosts in a crazy demon machine house.

I have 9 of the 12 ghost pages that I bought from screenused nearly a decade ago and really love the artwork from this movie.

This movie is totally one that you can put on in the background and just not think too much about the plot, and there isn't anything terrible about that.