Therapists, What's Your "I Know I Shouldn't Judge You But Holy Frick" Moment?

therapists have read it what was your biggest i know i'm not supposed to judge you but holy [ __ ] moment once had a patient whose wife shook their baby to death he wanted help reconnecting with his wife at the time i was a young father of a newborn myself and he triggered a lot of fear in me for my own child a deep loathing of his spouse and pity the how pathetic kind for the patient i tried for three sessions met his spouse and everything before handing the case over to my supervisor who knew about my initial reactions and tried to help me through it unfortunately it ended up being more about my feelings than his and i was new to the profession at the time these things are expected to crop up from time to time but i was still taken aback by my own erections i was once in my psychiatrists officer b monthly 15 minutes med check she asked me what was going on samoa's conversation i told her that my in the last six weeks my three elders aunt and two uncles i was guardian conservator for had after the other my wife had a heart attack my daughter attempted suicide and my mom broke her hip and had laid on her floor for a week before being found she drank and ate from the dog's bowls i got that call within 10 minutes of setting up the last funeral she stopped the meeting got on the phone with a therapist in the office next to her and had her postpone her next meeting to speak with me i was so f ked up i had no idea i think she saved my life i feel like a lot of the comments saying that they never judge their clients might be working in voluntary services or they've been very fortunate in their client base judgement isn't an inherently bad thing it's how we know that murdering people is wrong so when a convicted pedophile client told me nothing gets me going like a pair of little girls worn panties you better believe i judged the fck out of him i continued to work with him and i treated him with compassion and respect because he is a human being worthy of both i did my job because i'm a professional but i can't honestly say that i didn't judge him i judge that he should never be around children i judge that he is not yet ready for change i judge that his access to his own daughter should be closely supervised that's a lot of judgments understanding your own inherent biases and how they influence your work is a very important part of training and practice here's my most recent one as the pandemic worsened here in the us and more lockdowns are on their way one of my most extroverted clients and i brainstormed ways to meet her social needs while remaining safe the following week she cancelled her session and told me that she's positive for covered after attending an orgy which definitely wasn't one of our ideas i let out the deepest most defeated psy after i hung up the phone i do acute pediatric impatient behavioral therapy has never happened with a child and never will parents on the other hand can be real pieces of tea and the way they treat abuse their children then throw them off follow us and scream fix them clinical psychologist working primarily in forensics here this means my clients are usually involved in legal proceedings family court juvenile court criminal court etc comma my job is usually to evaluate or provide treatment i'm not there to judge that's the judge's job but of course i have my thoughts i am usually impressed by the justifications people make for sh tty behavior the one that works me the most is when parents manipulate their child against the other parent i've had to do therapy for a five year who says she doesn't want to see a parent because they haven't paid child support excuse me what 5 yo knows understand or needs to be worried about child support just checking in that nobody wrote my story opposite side if that's accepted too i was assigned to see the lead psychologist at the local hospital as i was severely depressed and had become suicidal she literally rolled her eyes at me told me to grow up and said she could be having appointments with people who were actually about to kill themselves not me who was already working with a team this sent me absolutely spinning bottling everything up thinking i didn't deserve help and ended up in hospital two years later after an attempt when they looked at my records the hospital suddenly became very interested in any psychological experts i'd previously spoken to informed them of the above incident they asked if i knew the name and i said i didn't but they had a strong accent they immediately looked like they were about to burst out crying apologized excessively then informed me they had been fired a year ago no idea how many people were affected by that therapist opie you mentioned you're getting ready to stop therapy i know we're different but therapy was one of the best decisions i ever made for myself it's good to have a neutral third party weighing on what troubles you and remember you don't have to stay with a therapist if you don't want therapy like any psychological treatment is often more about trial and error to find what works for the individual than anything also you'll get out of it what you put in so be up front frank and honest with your therapist that will help them work with you on determining the best therapy course for you i wish you the best of luck [Music] i joined in a review of a secluded patient and he threw a cup of wee and poo in my face when we opened the door i tried to be objective about his experience but i just thought what a cnt i work in inpatient services so it can be hard to challenge myself at times individuals with diagnosis of personality disorder for example can do things that in isolation make you think they're just being bratty or manipulative but to think of the experiences that shape them to react like that in a given situation can help to clear my judgment and find compassion dart harder when someone bites me or hits me with one of our fabulously detachable anti-ligature curtain poles though when you as a therapist get to that point it's time to start thinking of referrals be genuine with your client and then refer out you have to have unconditional positive regard or you'll never achieve therapeutic rapport i think for me the one that comes to mind is a frequent caller to the suicide hotlines he'd call in and say he's not providing his phone number or name he would just say that you had 10 seconds to convince him not to kill himself over the phone or he'd blow his brains out and it would be your fault then he'd count down from ten to one while you're on the phone talking at one he'd hang up i'm sure the whole point was to make me feel bad or prove some point i don't know i have insufficient information to make an assessment with just that but i have to admit when i was trying to sleep on days he'd call especially the first time i was thinking f king [ __ ] better not be dead efka it too many goddamn responsible professionals i came here to read the salacious stories of how some docs went ham on patients and lost their certifications instead all i've gained is even more respect than i already had for the backbreaking and sometimes thankless hard work these individuals do every day work i could never do not with any consistency anyway responsible jerks when i was underage i got caught with a drink on bourbon street and got a minor in possession i was telling my therapist about it and said that the police caught me with a hand grenade in new orleans he didn't realize that a hand grenade was a type of drink and it was funny to watch him try to process that his patient might have just casually told him that he had been caught with a fragmentation grenade he took a big long pause and said where did you even find a grenade i realized the misunderstanding quickly and corrected him but for a moment he definitely was thinking holy sh t how do i deal with this therapist here to piggyback on what others have said it is highly unlikely for me to have moments where i judge my clients it happens sometimes but i'm able to shut down those thoughts quickly in my head and return to being present for the people i see people are so incredibly complex that my judgment wouldn't have any meaning anyway and it doesn't have a place in our work together i will admit though something that does get me feeling a little salty is when i have a client's parent that attempts to sabotage the therapeutic relationship i have with their child or pulling them out of therapy entirely when some of the things we talk about challenges some potentially unhealthy family dynamics i don't feel anger toward the parents mostly i feel bad for the kid edit row all i have to say is that i am incredibly humbled by all of you that have shared your stories even though these moments are so steeped in pain what hits me is the incredible amount of strength present in spite of the upbringing and parent many of you have had patient side here i had been seeing a therapist for a few months to help with chronic depression and self-harm with some pretty intense suicidal ideation i had tried suprax in the past didn't like the side effects and put it down but i was ready to try something new to supplement therapy everyone within earshot was calling welbutrin a miracle and lifesaver so i figured i'd give it a shot since my therapist couldn't prescribe drugs i got an appointment with a psychiatrist my first appointment i explain what i've got going on what i'm doing to work on it and what i'm looking for and seeing him i do a pretty good job holding myself together in public i dress myself i hold down jobs at that point i lived on my own now living with my partner all in all i've got a well-polished mask i guess it's too good because pretty early in our session he looked at me and said i don't think you're depressed bro this is the first time we met i've been here for 20 minutes and you're ready to reverse my diagnosis cool bro well i quit my last therapist because i made him cry uncontrollably he tried not to but he just couldn't hold it back i felt guilty and won't see him anymore i think he may have lost a child before i described watching my aunt grieve over her son's body i felt so much pain losing him but was explaining how watching my aunt was dramatically worse the details about her is what made him lose it i could tell he was reliving something inside his own head i work in healthcare and i've never heard a therapist psychologist or psychiatrist judge patients openly other nurses and doctors on the other hand holy sh t at some of the clinics i've been in the conversations in the break room and at the nurse's station blew my mind that's why i don't work in a hospital anymore i was a pca and the judgment from everyone was insane nurses would wait until the last possible minute to give a patient their pain meds because they were exaggerating and yet i would be in their room three times an hour and they would be writhing in pain people openly talked about patience badly i work with kiddos who have experienced some kind of abuse trauma 90 percent of my clients have been as sorely abused i have a lot of holish tea moments but not from judgment of my clients but from what happened to them i've had clients whose father made them help him dismember mom's body after dad murdered her in front of them i've had clients under the age of eight who have been sex trafficked i've had clients who have been forced to film torture prn i have holy sh t moments all the time during my training i was asked how would you feel if a client were to come to you and admitted they were a pedophile that was on the edge of committing seriously horrific acts could you see that person as another human being that needed help or were your personal feelings about the abhorrent behavior too strong this factor leads some people to not continue my course on to the next level but it really illustrates the level of non-judgment needed in this field we all have our own personal feelings of course but these get talked about in supervision edit wow thanks for the awards i'm glad it's raised an interesting topic for discussion i'm enjoying reading them all even if i don't have the time to reply personally in this instance i remember the gandhi quote hey the sin not the sinner also spelling i'll never judge someone especially someone who has come to me hurting the world is full of [ __ ] already that said i found out while i was still doing internships that i'm very uncomfortable working with abusers so i don't do it took one recon to the man describing in detail how he was strangling his wife up against a wall and making her look at the beam he was gonna hung her from i got out of the office and told my supervisor i just couldn't do it it's worth mentioning i was just an observer back then i didn't act as the therapist my supervisor was she wanted me to be prepared to work not only with victims i've never judged my patients my co-workers however have judged the sht out of those i'm also judging the hell out of myself for picking up smoking again but my patience never therapist people need understanding and empathy to work through their challenges therapist brain except for you you piece of shitty therapist except for me not a therapist but a patient me and my fiance at the time went in to see if we could figure out how to make things work after he hit me after our history came out and i divulged his infidelity etc the therapist basically said no there's no hope you need to get help for yourself so you can get the courage to leave and end this i was angry at the time but both therapists knew there was no point as he was as screwed up as it gets a judgment you kind of train your brain not to judge because you are seeking to understand and help when you do those things you can't simultaneously judge we could all use a little more of that in real life i suppose i'll share this though i do feel concerned about this recent phenomenon of young people i worked with self-diagnosing sharing and identifying very closely with mental illness as if the pendulum quickly swung from never ever share your feelings to omg you're depressed all of us are too life's challenges can be tough and they don't need a scientific sounding label to be valid and real you are not your diagnosis we can find validation and supports in healthier ways edit thank you for the golden awards and thanks to everyone for some really nice discussion two contexts come to mind i often work with people in abusive relationships and it is incredibly common for people to go back to their abusive partners after leaving some studies show the average number of times someone goes back before leaving for goodies seven times i know why people go back and i get that it's often a combination of manipulation financial control gaslighting life low self-esteem fear etc but man it is hard to watch and appear neutral i can say i am worried about their safety but i can't yell for fck's sake stop going back what is it going to take like i want to the other situation isn't really judging the person it's more judging ocd but ocd is weird the infinitely weird ways it can show up are so funny and bizarre again i would never judge a person for having the intrusive thoughts they have or doing the compulsions that are somehow linked in their mind to those obsessions but i absolutely judge ocd and constantly marvel at how creative and weird the human brain can be i just wanna show up when some low effort text to speech channel covers this can i answer from the other side i had something close to a mental breakdown after a painful breakup started seeing a therapist it was going more or less well at one point i had a sort of revelation about all my bullsht and about my own responsibility in the whole mess so next session i'm actually thrilled to share this with the therapist about how i finally see a bunch of my own problems and the way i interact with women and which caused a relationship that wasn't really healthy from the get-go i'm halfway through trying to explain this and the therapist goes oh you know women are weird so that was that i never went back fck that guy okay real therapist here i got one some of my clients are shockingly bad at giving themselves credit holy sh t like they might get a nearly straight a gpa in a brutal major while battling depression or overcome years of phobia and get behind the wheel again or write a little novel or raise a kid as a single parent with low income or build new relationships after being burned or cope with ocd well enough to hold down a job and they'll talk about themselves as if everyone on earth is better than them as if their accomplishments are worthless and i know it's because of depression or anxiety or another condition but i'm often stunned by how differently i see them compared to how they see themselves a woman who deliberately kept getting pregnant because she enjoyed the attention and then would immediately afterwards dump her kids with the foster sister more in one case a willing relative she had six kids at the time i met her obligatory not a therapist and this will probably get buried but as a yano man i really struggled with going to therapy but it was the absolute low point in my life and i have always dealt with depression but i can from the just get through it mentality well i was closer and closer to not getting through it i remember the first time i told my therapist that i was planning on killing myself i expected the same reaction that men showing their emotions and vulnerabilities get but she never did never even acted like it wasn't an option she just talked me through it never acting like my thoughts or feelings were invalid sorry not exactly the point of the question but if fear of being judged or anything is holding you back from going please go it could save your life is seeing a therapist actually worth it my doctor has been telling me to seek one out for literally years but i don't see how talking is gonna solve anything anyone that's been to therapy have any insight i mean if your doctor is telling you to i'd say you should give it a try therapy works for a lot of people and if it doesn't work for you then you can find something else lol no way this is a great way to lose a license i've been a therapist in california for many years one day i got a patient don't remember his full name but i'll just call him michael michael came into me with a predicament he told me that he was in witness protection for a robbery in canada he said he was forced to change his name and move to an entire different country with his family he was insane but in a kind of good way i could tell he was loyal but i did not know to who i have since joined a television station so i do not know what has happened to him but i hope he's doing well commenting from the opposite viewpoint of this i have quite severe ocd with the counselor before my current one i was just starting to open up about some really embarrassing obsessions i told him about it and he laughed while i was being vulnerable and nearly in tears he did try to cover it with a cough but failed after that it took over two years before i reached out to another therapist i feel like if you're judging a client you shouldn't be a therapist because you'll cause more harm than good not a single actual therapist replies because they are moral people and have codes unlike people of radiation will use anything to gain the imaginary numbers i first went into college wanting to become a social worker i'm so blessed that i had an amazing professor for my first round of classes he was a social worker for like 35 years and he was the head of the sx offenders probation unit in a huge county in my area he even was the head of the team when amber went missing and worked with her mother think amber alert he was so honest with the students and he brought in so many speakers to teach us what the job is like at the end i decided a different career path because i don't have the incredible emotional strength needed to work with and help abusers i am forever grateful and horrified by the things i learned in that class especially the first band stories he told instead i'm going to become a foster parent as soon as i can and do my social work by providing a safe home where no one will be hurt i will protect and love those children with everything i have as a black gay therapist it was realizing that obama had never done anything for me still hasn't happened yet 25 years in i don't judge not while in session not while i'm working with clients and i've worked with bestiality incest rape murder psychosis delusions npd and bpd edit como i've worked with bestiality incest rape murder psychosis delusions npd and bpd nice how do you find time to be a psychologist in addition to all these the f king monster said that he liked to dip his aureus in ketchup and mustard i called the police who called the fbi who called the cia who called the mafia who called robocop who called rambo who eventually captured this demon who is now on death row his death sentence has been postponed six times because the executioners are too scared to be near him rumor is that we have transmitted a radio signal into outer space calling for extraterrestrial help so that we may rid the universe of this filth we haven't had any replies yet god help us as a therapist we wouldn't put case details online ever am i the only one reading this hoping i don't come across anything my therapist might have written about me gentleman sat down for the initial consultation and said i'll get right to the point doc i've been married five times my question is what does it take to find a decent woman no humor no hint of irony none i kind of love that no actual therapist has answered this question i guess i do judge sometimes but never the patients who have serious problems i have the hardest time being a good therapist for those with issues like i am so upset my husband only lets me have 10 k a month for shopping or my kid gets b grades and i'm so upset or i feel so depressed because my favorite tv show is off the air i realize that this may actually be the worst thing they've experienced and everyone who asks for help should get it but yeah i judge and that's not right so now i work with veterans as well as sex offenders so that i can feel useful and i never feel like i'm judging them i feel like i'm serving my country and preventing horrific crimes now that i type that out i see i have some personal work to do on myself it's never the things people suspect they're being judged for a good therapist never judges you based on how much of a substance you use how harmful your coping skills are the things you've said and done that you're ashamed of we exist to hear and recognize and help you with these things you're worth it having someone see your value despites is it's the parents that don't give a sht about their kids i judge them hard and i don't mean parents who are trying who are working to undo generational trauma and doing their damn best even if they're making things harder for their kid and all that trying i'm talking about those parents like people have mentioned here that 100 percent do not give us tea about their child and actively make their child's life worse as a child therapist this is my snapping point and the judgment comes rolling right out kids deserve better [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show With Reddit

Views: 686

Rating: 4.7073169 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, best of reddit, reddit story, reddit cringe, reddit funny, top posts, reddit best, r/, reddit top posts, askreddit top posts, reddit top post, best reddit stories, reddit posts, top reddit stories, funny reddit stories, funny stories, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts

Id: Hc-bgFX9Jts

Length: 27min 8sec (1628 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 25 2020