Theo Von Making Everyone Laugh Hysterically

you'd have to juggle like five things right yeah that's true huh you have to really up the ante what would you do if I had three arms oh you could be a really good like blackjack dealer oh yeah car dealer yeah I got a hand job from this gal at Dell Blackjack one time and I remember at the end she went like that she went like this she it was like yeah dude you sounded like that yeah it was awesome dude I mean these days you throw a damn frisbee it'll hit a gay dude but yeah I think doing regular stuff like I like someone's taking a bird scooter to the gym in the morning you know and I don't have nice calves and I have shorts on so for me it's really humbling you know bro taking [ __ ] lean calves out for a spin on a burst 39 years old bro have you have you felt at all safe or anything oh no I did it once or twice and it just the you know the one bump and it's over right yeah there's not a lot of um there's not a lot of opportunity for safety I don't feel like on them overall dude one lady hit the dirt bro we're about to Sprouts over by me right this lady [ __ ] way too old to be on one had a bag of groceries just hit the dirt road just didn't move at all right instead of helping there was like two people yelling this [ __ ] is down over here right I was like oh my God yeah I at least haunt my horn real loud as I [ __ ] drove off you know yeah but when I was at LSU like so one night I was at a bar at Tulane over there in New Orleans right and so we're bored um that one bar that's right on campus uh yes the boot yeah it's a good time I was at the boot dude and I had [ __ ] wet socks I remember because this what happened is that is that a like a metaphor for something or you actually have wet sauce well wet Sox is a racial slur in some areas um it is Johnny why don't you laugh like a regular person huh do you like my laugh huh no no one does dude left like a seven-year-old businessman you know you actually laugh like a white guy that has definitely been taking advantage of our country um yeah but you were so green probably then yeah but still I mean I've worked hard and got a good set and I put it in there wow yeah I mean I I I've been I've been cut out of movies have you oh yeah where you went to a movie theater and you're watching it you're like I'm not in it Pineapple Express well no I'm still in it I mean completely cut out the whole thing yeah but you can find them at any Panda Express guys if you [ __ ] keep your eyes open you know average wow I did not know that about you yeah yeah any of these guys send in videos not genuine she's trying to get Daddy sugar beet she likes you I just figured it out this whole thing was a plot she likes well we knew that from the jump she made it pretty clear she wants that dark art shaft she likes she wants some of that uh God damn that's her no that's Britney Spears Theo's comments on Savannah just made me recall this um you guys are being me what nowhere you're the one underground and railroad some dark butt dude yeah I feel like they want it I feel yeah so that's what this movie was it was like and there's no like hidden message I feel like nowadays people like you get to the end of what you think is a comedy and you're like is that about global warming yeah yeah you're like is this is just like some deep hidden message that it's supposed to I'm supposed to recycle more or like you know yeah there has to be something else right oh the Moon is trans is that what yeah is that the surprising yeah okay I do I guess we do have to think about that don't we have you ever seen anyone shoot somebody else okay well not like I've never seen like like a okay technically yes but not not in a way where it was uh like a real lethal wound I've technically been shot right many many times I go I go hunting right I mostly hunt birds because Southern California is the biggest kind of hunting season there is dove hunting and if you're in these busy Fields going dove hunting there's people on the other side of the field and they're shooting dove and all those pellets are flying in the air and they land on you like one time my dad shot me like pretty close it stung like a [ __ ] but yeah but it was a shotgun but shooting tiny little bird shot but I was a good you know 50 yards away so it stung like a [ __ ] but you know hey man accidents happen especially when you're you know whipping birds flying around so especially when you're aiming at your [ __ ] son I bet yeah you know I kind of pissed him off that day man yeah so I was thinking he kind of just want to punish me a little bit I was kind of at the age where you can't really smack me around anymore oh yeah so he's just like I'm just like he's just like oh I saw a quail over there I didn't see that [ __ ] coil but yeah I mean he gets you a jacket that has four quails on the back of it yeah exactly dude no orange on me man he's shooting through the bush hell yeah dude yeah uh anybody say they were the Grim Reaper dude you just had a skull for a face you were a cool robe and you just got to carry a big Scythe yeah not hit my cousins with it all the time yeah we have that many [ __ ] Cousins you lose a few you know if someone falls behind there they fall they fall behind the Pack's still deep man that's great wolf back man you gotta survive that's wild bro that's awesome um what was your costume my costume let me think oh we got a my dad was like a senior citizen so he would always pick us up [ __ ] at the last minute so we had me and my brother were both Raggedy Ann one year that's awesome oh it was horrible dude and we're so pissed we're in the [ __ ] yard just two raggedy hands beating the [ __ ] yeah that's two young male children dressed in [ __ ] drag dressed in Halloween drag beating the [ __ ] out of each other just [ __ ] him it was always a nightmare dude yeah we that's awesome oh my mom would have to work so my day was he was in charge of getting us ready for Halloween and stuff like that and it was just [ __ ] horrible um and so and what about your mom did she get remarried she got she got some man or no yeah yeah she is now but that was a while into it it's funny so my mom worked at Australia Zoo I don't know if you've ever heard of Australia Zoo yeah I made a bit over there I can't remember you the one where you get to hold the um the koala yeah the koalas and everything they got all the birds yeah yeah they got a gang gang bird over there actually yeah so she worked there and then um met the target the tiger Handler and like yeah and then now she's married to the Target Handler damn he's petting that cat boy that's insane dude sorry no I was chilling but that's you know that's how it works that's really that's God bro um is it you've never seen this distance three nautical miles no I've seen this this is the the very tragic so the 25th Dimensions than NASA cares to count this morning it looks as though they were not going to be able to get off 15 seconds velocity 2 900 feet per second altitude nine nautical miles downrange distance did like was that a live announcer talking about it yeah you didn't react I don't think they don't know what's going on oh okay yeah because like if I'm watching this yeah like that didn't sound like what the live feed oh my god oh no he's like still talking about it yeah they're approaching someone's showing nautical miles it's like no they're not well let's redo it go back a little bit and we'll be the newscasters uh all right we're here it's Dennis Space Center right here in Florida very exciting day for all of us here at CNN getting to witness the Challenger the launch of the Challenger that is really getting up there huh Theo yeah I think we're at about um a lot of nautical miles right over there near Coral Gables is passing over the stadium right under him now these spaceships the new ones are actually built with um this new material that that makes them so much more durable oh gosh so much safer and you know looks safe to me oh no Theo Uncle Joe oh my oh Jehovah that is is that it's going in a couple directions now I don't think that was I don't think that's what was supposed to happen oh it's coming back it seems like maybe they're no that's exactly what's supposed to happen kids this is this is what's supposed to happen they're coming back the Challenger there they are there's somebody [Laughter] that's crazy man yeah I remember we were in class and they wheeled in a television and people watched and you saw that live kids were all watching and everybody was excited it was like a big day in America oh man you're moving too much so I wanna yeah I want to hear your how it happened for you how you yeah being on that show yeah I'll tell you so before I'll just you made me think so if you so I've never asked a gay person because you did you you're 100 gay 100 okay so I appreciate you assuming I could have some bisexuals I listen I'm flattered oh yeah dude bro I'm about to [ __ ] one of these [ __ ] whack-ass dudes running around somebody somebody on this oh I paid 200 to see you bang out Tony Hinchcliffe over there dude she might kill Tony yeah I'll be the one to kill Tony dude you know what's crazy is one day someone's gonna walk up and actually kill them saddest most amazing [ __ ] documentary ever um a lot of people think you were their teacher yes and some are correct so I just like and what exactly did you teach taught them how to drink and drive right how what do you mean well actually we tried to encourage people not to drink particularly during the terms of their probation but uh there were also some tips and tricks like never take the roadside test that's just Gathering evidence against you totally get tell more people as they drink here tonight give us all a little tutorial no that's good if you if you did Drive don't forget your car that's a really big one that's a big one don't forget your car have you ever heard of like those old things like you put a little nickel a couple nickels and some pennies under your tongue you can blow you know zero what the [ __ ] what you could blow a Jewish guy yeah hahaha what are you trying to say dude oh my God I love it theovan.com for tickets holy [ __ ] God damn

Channel: PeterLarker

Views: 1,379,207

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Id: ehdvZSdx5j8

Length: 11min 56sec (716 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 12 2023