the writers who wrote these insults deserve a raise

wow don't give me that quaker and a titty bar look dear one to talk how about you crack a four loko count boozy von drunk a ton five minutes ago you said mr shu belonged in a 12-step program wait what you're addicted to vest okay what's wrong with you you paddington bear looking [ __ ] you just what what am i doing oh no stop tom we're friends you're one of my best friends you're not gonna be up there because i am gonna be the face of paddy's bar that's ridiculous frank you're um ugly what ugly i'm ugly yeah with that ant eater nose you're telling me i'm ugly my nose was chiseled by the gods themselves frank my body was sculpted to the proportions of michelangelo's david you on the other hand well you're a pit of despair frank you disgust me you disgust everyone and you will never ever be on that billboard and oh if you don't know keisha is the word that i made up it means it basically means hot but like it's a step above heart it's like more than just i'd say basically casey is hot to the point where you want to have sex yeah like brutal like yeah there's hot and then there's keys yeah well i'll stand the hottest but you guys like sort of the next two are down yeah i've got a sort of fat jane in my family like a lot of my aunties and stuff really fat but i think because i'm really good at sport it keeps me really slimming yeah yeah and that's why i'm looking the way i do now because it's like yeah if you've got your thighs rubbing together from fat then you need to think about what you're eating or maybe just accept the fact that you're never going to be caged brian has as much chance of becoming president as a stack of [ __ ] raccoons in a trench coat but i find little people to be untrustworthy you're right will i have been trying to destroy your club with a conviction i can only call religious and you want to know why because i don't trust a man with curly hair i can't help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and i find drop it disgusting i can't airbrush history ma'am i'm not joseph stalin no no that's true you're not you don't have a tenth of his charm congratulations normally you dress like the fantasy of a perverted japanese businessman with a very dark specific fetish take it back if i wanted something your thumb touched i'd eat the inside of your ear that's one call per day isn't it gee i should think he'd want to save that for his lawyer at least he's in prison not an urn you got to be kidding me if i was kidding i would have said you're witty and handsome here's the dream friday after christmas which i have off if you're hideous stay at home spend the entire day watching home videos of a time when you weren't too repulsive for me to ever want to look at and that's how sue sees it i am aware that the pheromones emitted from the orifices of your porous bird lady pelvis can cause an overwhelming urge to copulate in some emotionally stunted man-children with butt chins who befriend teenagers and can't rap it's my unstable step-daughter who's had a miscourage hello ma'am hey hunchback i don't know what you've been doing instead of trying to win but i'm gonna guess that it has the word anal in it you epileptic picasso painting i swear you would be of more use to me if i skinned you and turned your skin into a lampshade or fashioned you into a piece of high-end luggage i can even add you to my collection are you saying that you have a collection of skin luggage of course i'm not dee don't be ridiculous think of the smell you haven't thought of the smell you [ __ ] you used to like that song i used to like to sit on your face too you think that'll happen again i'd like you to understand that in in my country politics is a lot more honest in your country people [ __ ] snow oh i will be rich again i will rise up i will buy a [ __ ] polar bear for every kid in this school and then i will squish you like the bunk that you are pretends like he's not a smoker hasn't been laid in 15 [ __ ] years don't you talk to me like that said that to be nice what i think he meant to say was that he wished that mom gave birth to a can opener because at least then it would be useful why do you think i'm here to wish me a speedy recovery no wishes belong in the bottom of a well with unwanted girl children what the [ __ ] are you gonna do kill me you [ __ ] [ __ ] wolf

Channel: polarbearcat

Views: 610,444

Rating: 4.9699206 out of 5

Keywords: glee, SNL, insults, funny, compilation, VEEP, HBO, succession, writers

Id: L8yWKqJw4wE

Length: 4min 36sec (276 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 28 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/nyrangers30]

“You haven’t thought of the smell, you bitch.”

Dennis kills me every time.

[u/Square_Patient_3777]

If you’re after incredible insults then you should watch ‘The Thick of It’ (also created by Jesse Armstrong), eg “You’re like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra.”

[u/indoor-girl]

I love Ruth Langmore.

[u/Lolalamb224]

I think veep has the title for insults and all unscripted, just funny people doing what they do 🤪

[u/DiaConnie]

I’m always amazed by Sue Sylvester’s and Santana’s delivery