THE VLOG SQUAD'S ROAST OF JASON NASH!!

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that's how you got me yeah bud i caught you in hd damn impressive but i bet it costs a fortune though not at all you get round the clock protection for just 50 cents a day with no contracts plus they won u.s news and world report's best overall security system of 2020. wow it's no wonder you caught me but what drew you to simply safe well you know as a new homeowner it was just really important to me that i had a security system that i felt good about and uh simply safe was that security system for me well i gotta say you got a beautiful home here and i'm really happy you're keeping it safe thank you that means a lot sounds like sirens oh yeah that's probably the police the monitoring center it uh it alerts somebody right away if somebody tries to break in so well i better jump hey thanks again man and don't worry i will not be coming back here of a [ __ ] bye bye now take care he got bitching coming to you from the heart of hollywood california this is the roast of jason [ __ ] [Music] antonion now please welcome your host matthew good evening everybody good evening i'm matt keane i'm going to be your host tonight for the roast of jason nash let's give it up for jason nash [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] and now let's give it up for our roasters [Music] [Applause] jason thank you so much for having this event once again you've gathered a bunch of kids for a video where you take all of the money i mean what is this the iphone factory bar don is here tonight otherwise known as one of the worst glow downs in history joe volpis is here [Applause] joe does a lot of mukbangs he's clearly out of ideas this guy will put anything in his mouth for clout just like corinna natalie is known as the heartbreaker of the vlog squad todd is destined for heartbreak uh but that's not to be confused with jonah who is destined for a heart attack my good friend zane hijazi is here tonight uh we we didn't ask zayn to rose tonight because we thought he would bomb um that's not a middle eastern joke it's just because we know that zayn stutters when he speaks jeff whitake is here tonight he actually tried to rob vardon's voice when he found out that it had all that crack uh jason started vlogging with the sway boys recently because we all got too old for him jason's great for life jason i'm chris hanson with dateline nbc what are you doing here man what are you doing here uh jason's vlogs are so long that when david asked him to make them shorter jason just started filming with ilya [Applause] jason i was gonna make a joke about your weight but i felt that was just a low-hanging fruit see jonah a fruit is something that when you eat it's nutritious it makes your body healthier jason actually met my parents in texas when they accidentally walked into an open mic night and uh that's not to be confused with mike sheffer doing a pole dance in the saddle range parking we asked jason's ex-wife if there was anything off limits she said no suicide jokes the idea of their kids growing up and never having to see another youtube video is just too exciting for me we have a great show tonight for you guys let's give it up for jason nash once again our first roaster is natalie's future ex-boyfriend todd smith [Music] what's up vlog squad it the streamies looks pretty lit tonight huh but really we are here for the roast of jason nash otherwise known as the makeup guys we're busy today jason has found a new internet group to pervon believe it or not the sway boys jason's like matthew mcconaughey from days confused he keeps getting older and they stay the same age speaking of people who aren't invited ella and taylor are here [Applause] but that's okay david can't go anywhere without his breast milk david which one does the breast milk jason wants to know ella don't get too comfortable i heard the tesla is low on battery oh man david hired ella because she's eliza look alike [Applause] and he hired taylor because he loves to surround himself with morons all over too like he was talking about how she has all these nudes get it no one will [ __ ] you ella my ex-girlfriend corona copper is here tonight please hold on hold on this just in there are no more virgin video gamers we got some more he's really going in no i'm not i'm looking at jeff and jeff's like jack is here with her new boyfriend clout i mean scott she'll be dating him until he she passes him in followers my former best friend everyone knows him scotty sire he's had a few rough months huh lost 175 grand broke up with his girlfriend but hey you got to give to him at least jack and scott pushed joe and annelise out of the most boring couple award joe volpis is here joe just so you know getting a haircut is not a personality joe recently decided to start a second channel so people cannot watch his videos twice jay boyce is here you may not remember him he's the guy we all muted on instagram a year ago and lives in scott's shadow but don't worry i checked before the show he's still posting ab selfies david dobrik is here david's actually a huge gift giver he gave heath a lamborghini and zayn alcoholism no but seriously david he's a gamer now he streams that's in favor for me because he can't hear me natalie in the other room david you're on your way to rock bottom when you get there ask scott how he's doing maybe he can give you a ride back up or if you're lucky susie can give you a lift all right next i'd like to say something about natalie i'm just kidding i'm not a [ __ ] idiot i mean i could say something about natalie being a catty [ __ ] behind closed doors no everyone secretly hates but i want to get laid tonight feeling frisky all right now the real reason why we're all forced into this room tonight jason nash i used to be jason's roommate and i'll tell you the only girl he brought home was a bag of wendy's the only time jason sees his kids or when he's shooting at tick tock for clout that way he only has to spend 15 seconds with him at a time thank you guys have a great night i'll see you after drinks our next roaster decided it was a smart idea to launch her youtube channel on september 11th and she'll probably harass us for compliments after the show let's give it up for susie and tony [Applause] [Music] he doesn't have a bike for [ __ ] short people nope make sure it's so weird matt thank you for introducing me you know everyone's career went to [ __ ] after david stop vlogging except for matt king because he never had a career to begin with jeff whitake is here unfortunately jeff works out way more than his career ever did i know everybody likes to joke about how jeff got botox but none of you would be joking if your cheeks were used as handlebars in prison they say ellie is the biggest symp in the group but have you seen jonah around the box of twinkies all right i do want to say i'm proud of my brother jonah you know he just moved into his new apartment it's good to see him succeed his next big purchase is saving up for her neck jason always jokes about killing himself but he won't because he know it'll make his kids sad scott what's your excuse [Applause] it's good to see you sitting jason thank you it's good to be here you know he threw out his hip recently it's really exhausting riding everyone's cocktails jason had a comedy central youtube show called second chances how many chances is the world going to give him look at him he's 95 in all honesty we love you jason blah blah blah i was supposed to say something sincere and personal i am proud of you though you've come so far for for years you struggled to earn a living as a comedian but not your bank account is the only attractive thing about you thank you our next roaster has stolen drugs money and eric andre's entire show let's give it up for jeff with it [ __ ] what are my jokes it's a magical night tonight hopefully joe vulpes and david use this opportunity to come out of the closet we all know you guys are gay there's nothing wrong with it there's no way madison beer is not your type david jason it's incredible you got us all in this room tonight under the same roof the only other night you'll probably be able to do this is at your funeral so in a couple weeks matt king is here tonight unfortunately right there next to jeff epstein what's up mike sheffer i don't give a [ __ ] how many times that joke gets me canceled i'm gonna keep on making it you resemble them you look just like them i heard matt and mike are going to open a chuck e cheese together because matt's a rat and mike likes to be around kids speaking of perverts tonight's about jason i'm just kidding i'll get to you in a second first i want to talk about my boy todd all you kids at home watching this probably idolize david for whatever reasons but todd's the one that nailed every girl in this room what are you laughing at he didn't tell you yet i mean yeah todd's an idiot but at least he's nice to look at could be a lot worse you could be an idiot and an ugly piece of [ __ ] right jonah i'll say this if any young talented kids out there are hoping to make it in this town just give up because if jonah made it it doesn't make any sense jonah's making more money than his parents will in 10 lifetimes but he still dresses like a 10 year old kid that got lost in disneyland [Applause] and jason looks like a parent that lost a ten-year-old kid jason is so old when we mentioned tick-tock he thinks we're talking about his pacemaker i'm kidding jason actually works very hard on his videos that's what makes it so much more embarrassing it's so long and hard to watch i don't really have anything to say about you jason you already do such a good job and embarrassing yourself since these things usually end with a sincere nice ending i'll say that jason gave me my first shot at doing stand-up after watching him fail over and over again and still being able to make a life out of it i guess this means as long as you have a bunch of good looking talented rich [Applause] friends [Music] our next roaster is natalie who loves to eat especially sloppy seconds [Music] [Applause] as some of you might know the secret is out uh todd and i are dating now um which is honestly one of the toughest sentences i've ever had to say sorry so we all know todd has dated some of the hottest women around town and he's really [ __ ] his way to the top and i plan to do exactly the same starting at the bottom with you todd [Applause] okay jonah you're next and jeff i'll see you in eight months also todd's beautiful intelligent and talented ex-girlfriend is here tonight olivia oh oh [ __ ] wait olivia's not here well i guess we can just make fun of karina damn todd you really pick them well karina recently told us she signed a major deal to show her tits on camera but but to our surprise but to our surprise it was for facebook and not pornhub no no really though i'm super proud of you you're killing it it's awesome to see and i love seeing you in all your ferraris your porsches private planes fancy dinners all this amazing and i just really hope it was worth getting double-teamed by the two six-year-old men that convinced you they were billionaires [Applause] um jokes aside fran is a really good friend and i love when she comes over every six months and pretends to want david for cloud [Applause] i think i saw mike sheffer in the audience mike we're really glad you're part of the friend group we needed to diversify a bit on short notice and jews were just really [Applause] you're that friend in the group that's always kind of picked last like sometimes for a birthday it's like can we invite mike or should we just leave the seat open sometimes it's honestly better to have an open seat than have mike at the table jack reed my man [Applause] jason and david's manager jack reed is here tonight or is jack refers to himself just david's manager david dobrik there's the tired tail people continuing to ship me and david but i'm as attracted to him as jonah is to his salad that's not true but david has really been stepping out of his comfort zone lately he just came out with a new perfume he has a new app a new tv show on discovery all these things that nobody gives a [ __ ] about this quarantine has david and i spending a lot of time together and david loves to reminisce and re-watch the old vlogs in the living room and i always encourage him i'm like yes let's turn that on i love compiling evidence for my future lawsuit in 10 years david thinks he's going to be rich at the end of the day i'm going to be one cashing out on this friendship [ __ ] [Applause] some of you may know ilya's birthday was yesterday [Music] and he had sex with a girl in david's bed david was really upset about it though because he wanted to be the one having sex affiliate last night but now on to the man of the night jason jason doesn't do any drugs but he should because his goddamn life is so depressing we all know his son wyatt is hitting the crack pipe and you already suck with reviews jay you might as well suck to give your kid a discount on some drugs by the way jason before the show did you ask your stylist for the first day out of rehab look like jesus christ j you're looking like a wax figure that got rescued from a fire a little too late your own 75 year old mother looks better than you but at least you got that nice hairline unfortunately our friend zane can't say the same thing [Applause] jason has a failed movie called jason nash is married which i imagine is from his ex-wife's perspective the sequel is called jason nash is dying alone jason's taste in women is impeccable he's constantly hitting on my mom and getting rejected but i think he should shoot for someone more his own league like a bag of trash or maybe jonah but it's not your fault that you're single jay women get jealous they just aren't down to share your lips with david's ass [Applause] [Music] our next guest had an audition for snl and by coming up here you can tell how that panned out please welcome jonah um what's up guys thanks for having me this is a really special night um i'm happy for corinna she got a new ferrari and john must be [Applause] exhausted as some of you may know i moved into the same apartment complex as jeff now i sleep with one eye open which is funny because seth is jealous [Applause] it's nice to see cyclops jeff whitaker 2020 has been a rough year man between jason's pegged leg and jeff's ipad [ __ ] pirates of the caribbean [Applause] what are you doing here what happened to you man it used to be so much fun tell me how the [ __ ] you have a lamborghini you're still the most boring person in the group shut the [ __ ] up it's the biggest [ __ ] leech i know i hate seeing you around by the way it's not a joke it's great to see one of the linebackers of the broncos here my brother of ardan [Applause] last six months but i went from 13 to 38. [ __ ] older than i am he looks like a bouncer for a club we couldn't even get into yet david dover who's here tonight he's one of the first women i met in l.a lesbian david it's so nice not here in david talk like i have a microphone i can say whatever i want to know i knew that tick tock would have three assistants david's known for putting disgusting animals in his vlogs he brought one here tonight my sister [Applause] susie scott's here tonight he's not dead bummer scott lost 175 grand last year the last time i saw someone get swindled out of that much money was when david hired natalie okay it must be nice to natalie everybody in the comment section loves you it's probably because they don't know you [Applause] natalie's a [ __ ] to me i'd be a [ __ ] too if i was dating a 40 year old instagram model you guys are the worst couple in the world by the way no one wants to see it ever can they leave actually listen shut the [ __ ] up jeff beat your ass sentiment to solve your confinement now that holds the truth are you hiding snacks in your bra right now like yeah now the man of the hour jason jason actually has a book coming out instead of todd can do it anyone can i take jason to hometown buffet with me every weekend not to hang out with them because they give banger discounts to seniors jason is such a nice guy i felt bad saying these jokes to him out loud which is why i stole his hearing aids before the show that's a dumb joke though right i gotta give it up for jason mann and it's never worked out for him he's been trying since the 1800s funny jason and paul revere used to be neighbors believe it or not jason's been alive for all 54 presidents benjamin franklin funded one of his movies every one of jason's videos was like it takes him forever to get it up and nobody wants to see it but seriously jason you're a nice guy thank god you're friends with david i would never talk to you if you weren't okay that's it [Applause] [Music] our final roaster looks like he eats steroid flavored animals [Applause] now for those of you who don't know me too well i'm the kid that david turned invisible and after hearing todd's last song i wish he had turned me down too [Applause] speaking of torture i heard instead of waterboarding prisoners now they're making them listen to natalina no i'm just kidding they're actually forcing them to read todd's poetry jeff jeff is here tonight no i used to think jeff was one of the coolest members of the group until he started hanging out hanging out with my brother jonah i gotta tell you though puberty has been tough as you can see i've been going through a growth part recently ilia a growth spurt is when your body gets bigger [Applause] jason thank you for letting me do this on your channel or as everybody else has it when is david going to start vlogging again jason the first time we met i remember thinking to myself did someone leave keisha out in the sun for too long i'm in ketchup recently david has spent less time posting vlogs and more time hosting tv shows it's just like liza's career but without the respect [Applause] boom roasted for being good sports i love you all like brothers and sisters though that's not saying much because i hate the [ __ ] of susie and jonah [Applause] thank you so much to all of our roadsters tonight this guy used to date ruth bader ginsburg let's give it up for jason now guys thank you so much for being here tonight uh thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules of doing absolutely nothing i know this is a lazy group uh i want to say hello the stars of the unfiltered podcaster here or as most call it zayn and heath unlistenable you [ __ ] [ __ ] how dare you i give you a platform good luck getting 73 000 views on the paperboy this week [Applause] do you think you're david or something is that what you think jonah i'm [ __ ] real jonah gives you [ __ ] for he'll give me [ __ ] for my vlogs and be like your vlogs are [ __ ] awful and then i turn yours on and they're just as bad they're just as bad can we use david as a thumbnail i'm like and then i go and it's david's in your thumbnail i know you had to pay red it's fine guys sorry we got a late start tonight but i was eating out natalie's mom and her rv [Applause] instead of a mukbang i did a muff dive [Applause] look look for it on joe's channel otherwise known as the vlog squad dumping ground mike sheffer is here tonight otherwise known as who gives a [ __ ] the first 10 times mike came over david thought he was my rabbit mike is matt king's manager the only thing sadder than matt king's career is managing matt king's career i don't want to say mike sheffer is creepy but jillaine maxwell tried to start a podcast with him does anyone get this half the room got it you got it scott stop taking photos of jack in the backyard and read a newspaper we were going to have a dj here tonight but none of them would come because corona gave them all chlamydia had more dj's insider than one oak then one oak also could save a lot of work there too jeff whittick is here tonight i was the first person to let jeff do stand up and i want to tell everybody i'm so sorry for that what a mistake as you know jeff was in prison and uh he's not sure what's worse solitary confinement or living with jonah my manager jack is here hi jack how are you jack can you tell me why david just bought a nine million dollar house and i'm still paying off my taxes from 2016. david's new house is beautiful actually got a beautiful backyard there perfect for his garden gnome helio jonah funny jokes tonight great job you did great jonah some would describe jonah as fat unfunny and pre-diabetic and those people would be doctors i'm glad susie is here in the same room tonight with jonah i have i finally have proof you're not just jonah and a wig you know susie and jonah are related because they both got their mom's tits david dobrik the famous tick tocker is here tonight just kidding i love watching david's tick tocks i know 80 of the creator fun goes to natalie's pantry [Laughter] david what's it like having an assistant who's constantly covered in crumbs david you haven't posted a vlog in months good job giving alex warren your [Applause] career david basically threw his career away he traded 6 million views on youtube to 16 000 on discovery [Applause] hey man i'm like 70 and i don't even watch cable when i i i i digress as i look at david you know i i'm reminded of the person who blew up all our channels liza koshy thank you so much [Applause]

Channel: Jason Nash

Views: 3,008,229

Rating: 4.9649959 out of 5

Keywords: surprising him with his dream car, david, dobrik, vlog, vlogger, dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, relationship, comedy, reality, first, time, brand, new, car, surprise, emotional, freakout, reaction, tears, react, cry, crying, epic, present, dream car, new car surprise, surprising my husband with his dream car, ace family surprise, car surprise, epic car surprise, epic present, secret, family channel, david dobrik, david dobrik surprise, THE VLOG SQUAD'S ROAST OF JASON NASH!!

Id: UMJdJaM2mGg

Length: 38min 15sec (2295 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 09 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/redditor2redditor]

I can’t 😂 😂

Todds joke about Ella&taylor being there because dave needs to be breastfeeded :D

[u/slicktrdmrc]

Jeff was brutal, he's got what it takes.

[u/pleasefirekykypls]

Jason is a born comedian. His delivery is just soo good.

[u/dheedot]

Jeff had the best ones

[u/willtwerkf0rfood]

Hahaha Jeff was hilarious. Jason’s Alex Warren joke got me though lmao

[u/DownVoteBecauseISaid]

My ratings

Matt: good intro

Todd: very strong opening

Suzy: a little weak

Jeff: pretty good

Natalie: okay

Jonah: pretty good

Vardon: solid

Jason: quality

[u/redditor2redditor]

You could really see/hear how nervous Susie was while presenting. The „other“ vlog squad members are all „professional“ influencers that are used to talking in front of people/camera

[u/Zulema543]

Jeff in a suit.

[u/kw03emz]

That Alex Warren line hurt me lol