The VelociPastor Is An Unhinged Mess

hell oh everybody it's dinosaur preacher you've had a pastor you've had a velociraptor do you guys know anything about this movie no I've seen one scene bren's seen none scene I haven't even seen a clip mom and dad that was an office Zoom did that say VFX car on fire the note that got left they didn't even have a car or the parents still in the shot off to a great start no they take their $2 tripod from Walmart and pan up the door oh we're oh my God your parents died Doug it's what parents do they die on you your parents die dug that's what they're for is dying my parents are getting a divor no they're going to die my dad's dad is my fault yeah probably is who wa I'm starting to question my faith oh my God this is awful I'm starting to question my face why are they doing this like dreamy like flashback thing when they're just sitting next to each other right there they could have had this sequence with them just talking there well see the thing is they are if you watch their mouths go where you think God will not follow Denny's what's up or Indiana you should drive faster in front of that projector why is it lit like it's nighttime for him but it's daytime outside the car he has a very tinted car hey look I I wrot directed and edited this that would explain a lot it would actually where do you think he is uh he's obviously in the Amazon rainforest in the Amazon rainforest that's where you're thinking this is this is supposed to be Jude where do you think this is supposed to be this is downtown Cincinnati China what you could tell because there's trees Trina you know China That's place that's known for being like a metropolis yeah China yeah that's what I was going to say he's like in the woods he's going to be like China what is he doing China is East China China is East me when I find out China is in fact East me when I'm looking at a map are you hurt are you hurt look at her bro she got an arrow through her heart and just fell down a hill yeah she fell off how I don't need a dragon warrior po the Kung Fu Panda she's wearing like the Karate uniform I had in second grade yeah they like went to Walmart and found a ghee and they're like yeah yeah don't you know that all Chinese people wear those all the time every single one oh my God the radioactive Rock bit him China I always knew CH was East who needs establishing shots when you can announce where you are yeah exactly house where is he nowty no material possession oh my God watch it jerk what is the commentary we're going for here not us the movie um that she is a better person deep down than our main character I forg get his name Pelosi Pastor it would be nice to have some establishing information about anyone well don't worry we're going to learn um what she does here in this scene is she a prostitute because it's a woman on a road in a movie yes I'm lit up right and hot to trap where you want me to night D you I'm lit up right hot to trap I'm lit up right and hot to I'm lit up I'm hot I'm lit up right not to trap mate well you want me tonight I Governor I love this pimp guy I just say I love him that is J schlat now what's my name Frankie mermaid that is not his real name no what if he legally changed it to be Frankie mermaid don't question what he does I don't think he would legally do anything check out the shot of the Moon Zoom it in whoa I could get you a better shot of the Moon tonight with your phone yeah he was in the middle of the city where is he now is he is he back in China no they're in the park right now uh-huh you can tell because they're going to probably say it he's going to go the park so he he was really in China and now he's the the the the the P the the the he's the the pastor it's kind of like Hulk rules you're not going to like him when he's hungry that's a morus reference God I love seeing things that's a shame your money or your life money I don't have the money this is just a normal Tuesday to me out in the park at 4:00 a.m. and a mugga comes up and says hey your money all your life and then a velociraptor eats them it's just a normal Tuesday how are you still alive the Creation Museum be like hey look the water you can see the guy holding the hose right behind him there you can see like the nozzle for the hose hello my child don't say that well he's a he's a priest he's a is he a pastor or is he a priest cuz those are kind of different actually he's a dinosaur by the way if you guys in the audience decide to watch this movie I recommend watching it on free so it randomly puts as in the worst part of the movie humanly possible as I said I'm a priest he's a priest he did not say he was a priest though he just did yeah but he said as I said I'm a priest you might have told her previously previously time you turned into a dinosaur and ate someone what you don't remember do you oh my god some sort of nightmare why are we going back and forth and back and they need to take zo blos away from Indie filmmakers that's what I'm saying I wish we had brought one of the one of the crew along for this just to get crappy zooms the entire video we can do it in resolve don't worry we'll fix it and post do you have anything I can wear 400 wa okay that's amazing I love seeing him walk around in this dress cuz honestly from the waist up it just looks fairly normal but then you see the wide shots he is killing that dress dude no he's not not as much as he's kill not as not as much as not as not as much as he killed that man are you counting your steps got to remember where they were last night in the park which looks surprisingly like China this place looks very Chinese is it's either the park or China I couldn't tell maybe it's a park in China why did you cover it with leaves I don't know I didn't know what else to do this feels like an office bit this feels like smos 2014 but I don't think this has to be a bad thing to touch not thy sinning hands Jezebel jeze oh my God this was shot on a cannon rebel I wish I would get shot like a rebel with a cannon there's surprisingly little demand for hooker doctor lawyers when you walk up to someone on the street you're like I'm a doctor and a lawyer what are three other interesting things I'm a marine and a mom Doug I have to do confessions right now yes right now hold the camera just the silence the no music and him just running through the woods in a orange dress ugas you're late for confession sorry it feels like you know shark NATO it kind of like knew what it was but this doesn't feel like it knows what it is absolutely this feels like it was on purpose what is it that you would like to confess stole candy from this baby then I threw the baby in the river so it couldn't Stitch obviously there's no way this was scripted they just threw them in there like just talk they hired a bunch of people to show up for an afternoon okay but he's really funny though oh it's great this I love this also why is he doing a confession do you think he cares about confessing his sins no maybe he's boasting he old couple I blew up their car oh the plot thickens it's been so thin so far the plot thickens blood you know blood everywhere actually it said VFX car on fire they were my parents I'm sorry I can tell this is clipping right here you might as well just kill me now okay why don't you just kill me now okay okay it's little John yeah how are we going to do this we'll make a plan rules right like uh like Commandments oh my God you don't need to 10 of them right everything the first one should be like can't kill wait isn't the first one no Gods before him yeah I don't I don't know much about God I don't know much about dinosaurs and she does that was her special interest yeah it was lawyer doctor and dinosaur person paleontologist yeah will only hurt bad people only the worst the freaking high five dude the music sequences in this movie are so good what is happening Montage what are they doing oh they're working together working out oh God that was awful what this was awful yeah you're saying this was awful why were those black bars blurry her eating it why did this have to be a split screen neither actor was on set that day oh you're not going to get closer okay no I am warm the sound effect the sound effect when he pulls his mask down this was edited by Jenna Marbles stop with hooooes you don't push like 177,000 PSI when you kick well sir we'll have another shipment of Coke in tomorrow prepared exactly as you ordered once we have the thing we need we will be unstoppable what are we looking at tree gong I want a Gong I want someone to tell me that they have cancer and then I'm going to hit a Gong you know like I just want one for the most random moments like I'm dying it's stage [Music] four that's the Los Santos customs like you're going through the horns like that crap crime two if crime is so good dude why isn't there a crime too you haven't missed a Sunday in 16 years and all of a sudden that girl shows up that girl's name is Carol Christmas Carol they named a whole genre of music after this woman there are plenty of men like that in the church no I mean really different Wow music for the first time in this entire movie really different what if I was on the Spectrum on Spectrum internet on cable and mobile and Spectrum we to we took every good Network off of our cable that'll be $98,000 a week also your internet's going to go out once an hour that's impossible nothing is impossible where the Lord is concerned Leviticus 24:2 amen brother I like this Bible man core thing where they're just going to randomly start quoting Bible verses at each other it's even lit like Bible man what's Leviticus 24:24 what is he referring to I think they're doing direct there isn't 2424 there isn't it's a fake Bible verse stops at 23 it's a fake Bible verse I knew it was worth it to look it up you're hallucinating that you're killing people and thine enemy shall be vanquished with righteous and Swift Justice Matthew 326 6 Matthew 326 no Matthew only goes to 28 they could have find anything in the Bible that would have made sense for this scene so they just made up fake Bible verses John 396 74 you can literally Google like Bible verse for whatever and you'll get a list of like 25 of them like it's not hard well what's wrong John why did they dip to Black and then show them in the same room at a different angle it's like when you switch views on ta is he questioning his fa still oh my God R and Link R and Link R and Link I had Parents once all right Batman how somber and sad I had Parents once so proud of you dog you're my only son that's the only achievement like hey congratulations you were born becoming a priest is a big decision son why are you and the Uncle Ben's about to get shot car what is this CU it's a flash his dad's about to get blown up by Frankie mermaid mom and I will take a drive we'll pick you up after priest College priest College Seminary why is his mom in the back seat she's she was back there like tied up or some crap and then gone for most of the scene this is so sad guys then they bumped the camera hey can you can you smoke for like 15 minutes for us oh my God the lights are pink and blue that means sin alter is a practicing Exorcist those his methods are sometimes suspect Exorcist what's he do play we fit all day he is buff for our inner eye will be our guide through this Darkness he going to have him sniff some essential oils I think I got eucalyptus over here you smell this and all of your dreams will come true I hope so this isn't my microphone father Stuart suggested that I tra I haven't had to come to alter in years I haven't had to come to alter in years he said that like it was a wordy sentence when it was not I haven't had to come to alter in years not since I went to China the war oh my God what war the war I've never met a veteran who didn't specifically name where and what the war was yeah this is also like the same wood we've been in four different times China no this is Vietnam this has been China the city park and Vietnam so far looks just like the thick dense jungles of Vietnam obviously and I'll settle down and finally start that family we'll get you out of here son son you look 50 years younger than him he's supposed to be like in his 20s and he's like 93 Adeline Adeline why is she here why she's in Vietnam why Vietnam why is she here China adaline she James James I've seen that that's the one scene of this movie I've seen his face bro it looks like that Meme of like the terrified Soldier yeah I don't think we can do anything for her now she's too far gone she exploded she's missed she turned into soup what do you think she was doing in the forest I don't know maybe she was trying to start a family but why was she there she was trying to start a family in an active War own family it's all about family Hobs gear shift family gear shift family family family family family doesn't anyone even know what we're talking about faster than Furious but ever gear shift is family got to move this card around like I don't think that's how you use tarot cards yeah I'm contributing feels a little hot in here probably because of all the candles can't you do a seance in like normal lighting for once absolutely not the ghosts can't show up when the light is bright yeah we proved that in our ghost hunting video oh is he going to turn into a velociraptor right now no he's going to turn into a velocci pasor I feel dinosaurs you won't like me when I'm dug pastoring oh I got that Bible man music too that's such a glove at least they kind of know the trick of you keep the scene dark so you don't see how bad it looks yeah I can still see the like still looks bad the the lining on the glove and stuff yeah you could see like the seams on his fingers but at least it's dark no that's not dark enough clearly tell their gloves like it's like coming off of his arm now the hounds of hell are truly loose you performed a seance he's not he's not a Hound he's a velociraptor Cy it's the Dragon Warrior so they're all straight Australian Chinese ninjas yep in America hunting a priest who is also a velociraptor who's been to China allegedly that is the connection so Australian Chinese it's all East it's a triangle make a big triangle it's illuminart yeah it's like the Illuminati but more artistic [Laughter] [Music] artistic no they turned red is this the best thing I've ever watched where are you covered in newspaper cuz he had to know what was going on he had to catch up on today's events what's today when did this even come out Tuesday why is this the best lighting but they still like the cameras look grainy as balls I don't know I thought the I thought the Seance scene was all right that was okay yeah yeah until his dinosaur gloves how do you know how do you know I'm not going to hurt there's no monsters in here the Secret side of me I never let you see oh they Templar ninjas what even better so they're Christian Chinese Freemason ninjas ninjas see this is why I wasn't worried about us watching this even though it like has some like religious and adult themes it's because it's so stupid that it doesn't matter yeah this is ridiculous and I love it [Music] what have those people been standing there practicing for the they have not slept they have not eaten they have not drank all they have done is punch and kick yeah they've been standing there making whoosh noises exactly oh God it's a box G cocaine I don't understand what does drug smuggling have to do with Christianity so in order to fix your dwindling enrollment issue you have decided to Coke out the entirety of the world so that they'll come to your Catholic ninja church so that you'll have an Army against you're going to give them drugs and then cut them off with the drugs they're going to look for more drugs they're not going to oh man I'm all out better go to church it's like man I'm out of coke guess I'm done it's going to be this specific church too that these ninjas are on it's not going to be like a different Church yeah the coke Church the Catholic ninja cocaine Church you see Jesus is a lot like crack you can get addicted to to him you see Jesus is like cocaine and I'm an addict and you should be too of Jesus not cocaine um no boys you're blue and girls you're red let's not make purple Doug will stop you good thing that ninja told us where The Hideout was before he died that that was some life is strange you're not doing the plot fast enough y good thing that ninja told us where he was before he died now we're going to be hella on track oh my God the fade for the same shot is crazy come on stop iy look the thing on the camera's back guys look left look left more please yeah there we go can you imagine shooting half of a movie with that Speck there I'm just not noticing remember me now brother brother I thought that we established only son you're my only son you're my my only son his parents just ignored him for his entire life somehow that's sick you're my only son you're my only son you're my only son my only son you're my only son I'm going to go literally insane with you both saying that this is trific difficult the socks the Nike logo that was just blasting out there he folded his pants for this encounter that's crazy how did he get on the ground he fell yeah he fell out and all the blood squirted on his face from his abdomen wound that's another that's another thumbnail shot right there I hope she gets her head caught off right now okay I don't know why she just stood there [Music] waiting why do you have internal bleeding what is happening it's cuz she got cut across the chest yeah look at all that familyfriendly juice coming out I love how all the other ninjas are just standing around waiting for them to have their discussion I'm pretty sure I saw one of them crying yeah they're so sad because of the person they killed died is he going to turn into a velociraptor finally the veloc it been like an hour since the namesake of this movie has happened ready for the best veloca pasor scene ever is it going to be perfectly lit where we can you you can see his head it's just a Halloween costume Ho Holy I a dinosaur belong the Raptor you can see the Gap in the outfit between his legs that that that's the that's what you're seeing this looks real I don't know what you're talking about I'm just trying to point out how awful that is it is straight up open you're right the costume's torn and they're like yeah whatever it's the last thing in the movie won't notice whoa he shot the movie Magic out of him could to think of a better way to do that transition it would have been better just to cut straight back to him being normal do you have Ed last only six I think my hand is [Music] immune what numbers afraid of uh afraid of seven Bren eight only six they were so proud of this one only through the elimination of violence will we finally be able to achieve world peace gandi no no I'm fine she's fine I got to tell you something she's fine I'm going to go whoa that's loud does it end with like the 8S kissing scene sick how' I do writing Direct and editing this that movie sucks Brandon if you enjoy the crappy R-rated movies I I don't know we're just we're doing them now just let let us know others like this so we can find the worst movies I I loved it it was it was awesome have a day we Mak Miracle work promise keep light in the Darkness my God that is who you are you are

Channel: Microwave Society

Views: 242,069

Keywords: Comedy, commentary, funny, reaction, MWS, Microwave Society, VelociPastor, volocipastor, dinsour, dinosaur, dino, superheros movies, bas movies, wrost movies, imdb bottom 100, horror movies, scifi, b movies, unhinged, insane, vfx scene, bad vfx, car on fire vfx

Id: uW5Ksmpxaag

Length: 24min 5sec (1445 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 17 2024