James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO "THE LATE LATE SHOW." THANKS FOR STAYING UP LATE WITH
US, WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. WE'VE GOT A FANTASTIC SHOW
PLANNED FOR YOU TONIGHT. WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH ERIC
BANA, AND THEN PETE HOLMES, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT. REGGIE, IAN, YOU'VE BOTH BEEN ON
PETE HOLMES' PODCAST. WHO DO YOU THINK HE PREFERS? OUT OF THE TWO OF YOU. >> REGGIE FOR SURE. >> James: YOU THINK, WHY IS
THAT? >> I DON'T KNOW, I JUST FEEL
LIKE MAYBE YOU GUYS CONNECTED ON A DEEPER LEVEL. HE LIKES TO TALK ABOUT SEX AND
GOD. I DON'T HAVE EITHER OF THOSE IN MY LIFE IN A BIG WAY. >> James: WHEREAS REG HAS GOT
ONE OF THOSE. >> Reggie: YEAH, DO I HAVE
ONE. I DO HAVE ONE. >> James: NICK, YOU USED TO
PRODUCE PETE HOLMES TV SHOW, RIGHT. >> YEAH. >> James: ANY ISSUES WITH
SALES ON THAT SHOW? NO I DON'T THINK WE HAD ANY
ISSUES WITH SALES BUT I WAS JUST THINKING, I WORKED WITH A LOT OF
LATE NIGHT SHOWS AND THEY ALL HAD ISSUES HERE AND THERE. BUT THEY ALL TURNED OUT FIEB SO
I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT I HAVE BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT. >> James: YEAH, YEAH. (APPLAUSE)
YEAH. THERE HE IS. THERE HE IS. THERE, THERE HE IS. IS HE BACK IN THE GAME. NICK BERNSTEIN AFTER YESTERDAY. HE WAS ALL JUST LIKE OH, I'M
GOING TO GET FIRED. AND NOW HE'S LIKE IT'S FINE. THAT IS ABSOLUTELY THE ATTITUDE. >> MY A OLIVE BRANCH. >> James: HE DOESN'T NEED ARCH
OLIVE BRANCH, YOU KNOW WHY? NO ONE'S FALLS, NOBODY FALLS ON
THE TRUST TREE. YOU MIGHT HIT HIT A COUPLE OF
BRANCHES. Z BUT SOMEONE WILL CATCH YOU. >> HUNDRED PERCENT TRUE. >> James: YEAH. >> Reggie: YEAH. >> James: SHALL WE GIVE
AMERICA WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR? >> Reggie: YEAH, I MEAN AS MY
MOM SAID, THAT IS WHAT SHE IS WAITING FOR. >> James: MOMS WITH LIKE, HAVE
YOU SEEN THE NEWS, NO, WE'RE ABOUT TO DO IT, SO WE'LL BE
THERE IN, I GUESS, EIGHT HOURS. >> IN MONTANA, REGGIE MOM WILL
SEE IT IN EIGHT HOURS. >> Reggie: YEAH, EIGHT HOURS. SHE SAID SHE STOPPED WATCHING
BILL MAKER JUST TO WATCH OUR SHOW, SO. >> James: THE BILL MAKER SHOW
IS ON FRIDAY NIGHT ON HBO. >> SHE HAS AN iPAD, TIME IS
IRRELEVANT. >> James: TIME IS IRRELEVANT. DO YOU EVER FIND IT WEIRD WHEN
YOUR MOM IS ON AN iPAD. >> Reggie: IT IS. >> James: DO YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN. >> Reggie: THE ALGORITHM. >> James: WHEN I SEE MY MOM ON
AN iPAD I'M LIKE THAT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT. (LAUGHTER)
>> MINE ZOOMED RIGHT PAST ME. AT FIRST I WAS THE TECHNOLOGICAL
ONE AND ONE DAY SHOWING HER HOW TO USE IT. AND SHE WAS LIKE THAT IS A
COMPUTER. AND THEN CUT TO THREE YEARS
LATER AND SHE'S LIKE ALWAYS ON TKS DOWNLOADING APPS AND STUFF
LIKE THAT. SENDING IT TO THE TV. I HAVE NO IDEA. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANY OF
IT. >> James: I'M ALWAYS AMAZED
HOW PEOPLE CAN JUST CONNECT, THEIR PHONES TO A TV. LIKE I DON'T NEED-- I HAVE DONE
IT LIKE ONCE AND IT TOOK ME AN HOUR AND THREE PHONE CALLS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. AND CONSTANTLY, DO YOU KNOW,
JUST AIR DROP IT SHALL-- WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T-- I REMEMBER THE IRST
TIME I SAW ANYBODY AIR DROP SOMETHING TO A SCREEN, IT WAS
BEN WINSTON AT OUR HOUSE, TRYING TO SHOW ME A THING ON THE
COMPUTER, I WILL SEND IT TO THE V. AND I WAS LIKE-- YEAH, YEAH,
OKAY. AND THEN IT WAS LIKE ON THE TV. AND HE'S LIKE PUT IN A FOUR
DIGIT CODE AND I WAS LIKE HOW DID YOU DO THAT, HE SAID I AIR
DROPPED IT AND HONESTLY, COHAVE BEEN SPEAKING CHINESE. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT. >> YOU HAVE A LOT OF BLAZERS
WITH T-SHIRT, SO YOU COULD SEE HIM BEING ABLE TO DO THAT PRETTY
EASY. KNOWING HOW TO AIR DROP TO A TV
IS A BIG BLAZER AND T-SHIRT KIND OF THING TO DO. >> James: I WOULD SAY YES, IN
THE DAYTIME AND PRETION YOU SAY IN THE DAYTIME. IF YOU ARE A BLAZER T-SHIRT IN
THE EVENING, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW. BUT IF YOU ARE WEARING THAT MID
DATE, MIDDAY, YOU CAN VEN MOVEMENT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
VENMO. HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
VEN MORKS I DON'T KNOW HOW TO VENMO. SOMEONE SAID TO ME CAN I VENMO
ME THE MONEY, I WENT SURE, I WENT OUT TO THE RESTAURANT,
WALKED DOWN TO AN ATM. GOT THE CASH OUT AND WENT THERE
YOU GO, THERE IS THE VEN MOVEMENT CUZ I HONESTLY, I
GENUINELY DON'T KNOW HOW TO HOW TO DO IT. >> THIS IS NOT SURPRISING. >> James: YES. I'M ABSOLUTELY. >> I CAN WRITE YOU A CHECK. >> James: I'M SORT OF HAPPY
WITH THAT, I'M OKAY WITH THAT. I DON'T HAVE INTRER
NET-- INTERNET BANKING. I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE
CLOUD. I LOVE HOW WE CALL IT A CLOUD. I WILL SEND IT TO THE CLOUD. A CLOUD? THERE IS A HARD TRIEF IN UTAH. THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE SENDING
IT. CALLING SOMETHING THE CLOUD IS
THE BEST PIECE OF SORT OF ADVERTISING EVER. IF IT WAS CALLED THE HARD DRIVE
IN UTAH, NONE OF US WOULD SEND IT THERE. WELL, IT'S THAT TIMES
IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS. AND THERE'S SOME BIG NEWS OUT OF
NEW YORK INVOLVING DONALD TRUMP. LAST NIGHT, THE NEW YORK STATE
ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE ANNOUNCED THAT IT IS NOW
PURSUING A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION OF THE TRUMP
ORGANIZATION. BUT THIS IS A HUGE DEAL. AT LEAST I THINK IT IS, I HAVE
NO IDEA. I ALSO THOUGHT THE MULTIPLE
IMPEACHMENTS WERE A HUGE DEAL AT THE TIME. CRIMINAL CHARGES AGAINST DONALD
TRUMP. IT'S JUST LIKE THAT OLD SAYING,
CRIME DOESN'T PAY, EXCEPT FOR THE FIRST SEVENTY-FOUR YEARS OR
SO OF YOUR LIFE, PROBABLY LONGER DEPENDING ON APPEALS. BUT THE INVESTIGATION DOESN'T
STOP WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENT. BECAUSE THEY'RE PART OF THE
TRUMP ORGANIZATION, CRIMINAL CHARGES COULD ALSO BE BROUGHT
AGAINST IVANKA, DONALD JUNIOR, AND ERIC. YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, IT'S NICE TO
SEE HIM LEAVE SOMETHING TO HIS CHILDREN. IT'S VERY SERIOUS, THOUGH. THEY'RE SAYING IT'S POSSIBLE
ERIC TRUMP COULD BE TRIED AS AN ADULT. MEANWHILE, TODAY, JOE BIDEN GAVE
HIS FIRST COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS AS PRESIDENT. HE SPOKE TO THE GRADUATING CLASS
AT THE UNITED STATES COAST GUARD ACADEMY. FIRST IT WAS TRAINS, YESTERDAY
IT WAS TRUCKS, TODAY IT'S BOATS. THIS GUY IS TRULY LIVING HIS
BEST LIFE. BUT BIDEN'S SPEECH WAS HISTORIC. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME A FORMAL
COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS EVER INCLUDED THE PHRASE, MUMBO
JUMBO. THERE WAS AN ODD MOMENT WHERE HE
THOUGHT HE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN APPLAUSE AND HE DIDN'T, HAVE A
LOOK. I CAN ALWAYS TELL WITH THE
FAMILY HOW THE COAST GUARD IS LIKE THE HARD NUBBING LEASE IS
FORMED AROUND THE NAVY IN TIMES OF WAR. YOU ARE A REALLY DUL CLASS, COME
ON, MAN, IS THE SUN GETTING TO YOU? I WOULD THINK YOU WOULD HAVE AN
OPPORTUNITY WHEN I SAY THAT ABOUT THE NAVY TO CLAP. >> Reggie: DAMN. >> James: I DO KNOW HOW HE
FEELS. MOOFING ON IN, A BREAK THROUGH
STUDY SCIENTISTS HAVE JUST ANSWERED ONE OF NATURE'S BIGGEST
QUESTIONS, THEY ESTIMATED THE TOTAL NUMBER OF BIRDS ON THE
PLANET, WHAT DO YOU THINK, REGGIE, HOW MANY BEARDS ARE OUT
THERE IN TOTAL WHAT DO YOU RECKON. >> Reggie: GOD, LET ME THINK. THAT'S PRETTY SIMPLE. I WOULD SAY ABOUT FIFTY-- YEAH,
ABOUT 62 MILLION. >> James: 62 MILLION BIRDS. >> Reggie: OKAY, 2 BILLION. >> James: THAT WAS A JUMP, YOU
ARE GO WILL 2 BILLION. >> Reggie: YEAH. >> James: PETE, WHAT DO YOU
RECKON. >> I WOULD GO 7 BILLION. >> James: ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, SUSAN. >> MAYBE 7 BILLION AND 1. >> James: SO THIS ISN'T "THE
PRICE IS RIGHT." NO ONE IS GOING HOME WITH A
TOASTER. IT'S NOT--
>> James: WELL, YOU'RE ALL WRONG BECAUSE THE TOTAL NUMBER OF
BIRDS ON THE PLANET IS, FIFTY BILLION. THAT'S SO MANY BIRDS. OR MAYBE IT ISN'T, I HAVE NO
IDEA HOW MANY BIRDS THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. THERE'S NO WAY THERE'S EXACTLY
FIFTY BILLION. THEY HAD TO HAVE ROUNDED THAT
NUMBER UP OR DOWN. IF YOU'RE GOING TO COUNT THEM,
TELL US THE ACTUAL (BLEEP) NUMBER. BUT I'LL SAY THIS, IF THERE EVER
WAS A BIRD UPRISING, I THINK I COULD PERSONALLY HANDLE SIXTEEN
BIRDS. THAT IS MY LIMIT, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN. >> YOU BRAB TWO OF THEM, TIE
THEMING TO LIKE NUMB CHUCKS, ARE YOU TAKING OUT 50, 60 BIRDS. >> James: I KNOW, BUT I DON'T
KNOW IF I HAVE GOT THE RESOURCES TO GET THE BIRDS, I'M JUST
TALKING ON MY OWN. JUST--
(LAUGHTER) I THINK I'VE NOT THAT FOR 16,
THAT IS IT. >> IF IT IS GEESE, THAT NUMBER
DROPS TO 2, MAYBE THREE. >> James: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WE WERE INCLUDING GEESE. I DON'T KNOW THAT I COULD TAKE A
SINGLE GOOSE. I'M NOT EVEN GETTING IN ON
SWANS. >> Reggie: NO, NO, NO. >> James: ALL YOU EVER GOT
TOLD AS A KID WAS A SWAN COULD BREAK YOUR ARM. >> Reggie: THAT'S TRUE, I
HEARD THAT TOO. >> James: LIKE A SWAN OH,
DON'T GO NEAR IT, YOU WILL BREAK YOUR ARM, BREAK YOUR ARM, THAT
SWAN. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BIRD? >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING
THAT. >> James: I CAN'T BELIEVE I
JUST DID, BUT I DID. >> YOU KNOW, IF I AM HAVING A
DOWN DAY, IT SAY RAVEN, IF I'M HAVING FUN THAT DAY, IT IS A
SCARLETT MA KAW. >> James: NICE, VERY NICE. >> WHAT WHA ABOUT YOU, WHAT IS
YOUR FAVORITE BIRD. >> Reggie: ARE YOU ALLOWED TO
SAY? >> James: I'M TRYING TO--
(LAUGHTER). >> James: WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW IF THERE ARE ANY SALES. I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
BIRDS ADVERTISED. IT IS DIFFICULT TO PITCH IN ON A
BIRD. I MEAN IF IT CAN'T BE A PEACOCK. CUZ THAT-- CAN'T BE THAT. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ABOUT IT,
IF YOU SAY IT IS A PEACOCK HERE, HE WILL GET UP AND WALK OUT, HE
WILL NEVER BE HERE AGAIN, WHAT THE POINT. I KNOW IT'S COMMON, I KNOW IT
MAY BE EVEN PREDICTABLE BUT A LITTLE ROBIN RED BREAST. >> OH. >> James: YEAH, THAT'S MEAN,
LITTLE ROBIN RED BREAST. >> I DON'T WANT TO GET TOO DEEP
IN HERE. BUT I WANT TO CHANGE MY
ANSWERMENT DO I HAVE A FAVORITE BIRD AND I FORGOT IT. >> James: GO ON. >> I LOVE A PIGEON. >> James: I LOVE PIGEONSK
ALTHOUGH, HERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD, THINK ABOUT IT, YOU
NEVER, EVER, EVER SEE A BABY RIDGEON. DO YOU? YOU NEVER ARE OUT, YOU NEVER SEE
A TBROWP OF BIG PIGEONS AND A BABY PIGEON. YOU NEVER SEE-- WHAT IS THAT
ABOUT? HONESTLY, HAS ANYONE HERE EVER
SEEN A BABY PIGEON. >> NO. >> Reggie: NO. >> James: NO, WHY IS THAT? >> DAMN, MAN, I DON'T KNOW. >> James: I'M GOING TO GOOGLE
IT. >> YEAH, THEY ARE PROBABLY JUST
IN THE NEST UNTIL THEY ARE YOUNG ADULTS. >> Reggie: OR THEY ARE SIN
THENNITY. >> James: GOOGLED IT, WHY DO
YOU NEVER SEE A BABY PIGEON. >> I ACTUALLY NO. >> James: OH DO YOU. >> I DO,. >> James: GO ON. >> GO AHEAD. >> BECAUSE AFTER 40 DAYS A
PIGEON IS FULL SIZE. >> James: WOW, WELL DONE, BEN. (APPLAUSE). >> James: WOW. I THINK ARE YOU RIGHT, 40 DAYS,
THEY HANG OUT AND THEY ARE FULLY FORMED. I GIVE YOU 42 YEARS, STILL NOT
FULLY FORMED. I WOULD LIKE US TO DO A SHOW
FROM A PIGEON'S NEST. A WEEK OF SHOWS FROM A PIGEON'S
NEST AND WE GO FROM DAY 36 TO 40 AND THEN JUST LET THEM GO. GO BACK A YEAR LATER, AND COME
BACK WITH A LITTLE NOTE, I WISH WE GO BACK TO THAT, HOMING
PIGEONS. >>ER IN'S STILL AROUND. >> James: I WILL TAKE THAT
OVER A TEXT MESSAGE EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. >> James: AND THIS IS AN ODD
STORY, AN AUSTRALIA WOMAN HAS GONE VIRAL ON TIKTOK AFTER
CLAIMING THAT SHE WOKE UP WITH AN IRISH ACCENT FOLLOWING TONS
IL SURGERY HERE SHE IS WITH HER NEW ACCENT. >> I TOOK A SHOWER. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I WAS
TALKING IN AN IRISH ACCENT AND I THOUGHT INITIALLY THAT THAT WAS
JUST SOMETHING I WAS JUST HEARING, THAT THIS CAN'T BE
REAL. AND NOW I CAN'T SHAKE IT. >> James: LET'S BE HONEST, IT'S
NOT A GREAT IRISH ACCENT. IF ANYTHING IT'S AN IRISH-ISH
ACCENT. IF SHE'S FAKING IT, YOU GOTTA
RESPECT HER DEDICATION. THAT'S A KATE WINSLET IN "MARE
OF EASTTOWN" LEVEL OF COMMITMENT. I LIKE IT. NEXT TIME I GO SEE THE DOCTOR,
I'M GOING TO TELL THEM TO GIVE ME THE SAOIRSE RONAN. MAY THE ROAD RISE UP TO MEET YOU
SO IT WILL. IAN, WHAT NEW ACCENT WOULD YOU
LIKE TO SUDDENLY WAKE UP WITH? >> WHATEVER SAM ELLIOTT'S ACCENT
IS, I WOULD LOVE TO WAKE UP WITH THAT. >> James: GIVE ME THAT, WHAT
DOES HE SOUND LIKE. >> SAM ELLIOTT, HE IS THE GUY
THAT KIND OF TALKS LIKE THIS. EVERYTHING YOU SAY SOUNDS LIKE
IT'S MANLY, MASCULINE, COULD YOU LIKE, I'M GOING TO GO TO BED
AROUND 7:30 AFTER I DRINK SLEEPY TIME TEA, WATCH HALF AN EPISODE
OF PLANET EARTH. >> I'M GETTING A PEDICURE
TOMORROW. >> ME AND THE BOYS ARE GOING OUT
TOMORROW TO GET FRO YO, PEDICURE S. AND IF IT IS ROSE:00, [BLEEP] IT
IS ROSE A CLOCK. >> James: AND DJ KHALED IS NOW
GETTING TOO THE SELF-CARE BUSINESS, IS HE LAUNCHING A
TBIEDED MEDITATION SERIES WHICH WILL THAT RATE HIMSELF IS LOOK
OUT FOR THE HOT NEW SINGLE TRANSCEND ENTAL MEDITATION
FEATURING PITBULL, HE RES RELEASED THE FIRST ONE, HAVE A
LISTEN. >> DJ KHALED. >> James. >> ANOTHER ONE. >> James: WHO WOULD BE THE
BEST PERSON IN HERE TO DO A GUIDED MEDITATION. >> REGGIE WATTS, HI, HOW ARE
YOU. TAKE TWO DEEP BREATHES OUT. >> James: BREATHES OUT. >> Reggie: TAKE THREE MORE
BREATHES OUT. NOW, IMAGINE YOURSELF INSIDE OF
A PIGEON. BREATHE IN NOW, SORRY ABOUT
THAT, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. >> James: THAT ACTUALLY MADE
ME QUITE LIGHT-HEADED. FOR AWHILE I WAS IN A PANICKED
SITUATION ABOUT 12 YEARS AGO, A FRIEND OF MINE WAS GOING JUST
BREATHE, DEEP BREATHE, DEEP BREATHES AND HE SAID TO ME, IN
THROUGH THE MOUTH, OUT THROUGH THE NOSE, IN THROUGH THE MOUTH
OUT THROUGH THE NOSE WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY WRONG BUT AT THE TIME
THAT IS ALL I HEARD SO I WAS GOING-- . (LAUGHTER)
AND DID EVERYBODY SEE-- OH, DANG,--
AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS? GOOGLE JUST UNVEILED A MAGIC
WINDOW THAT CAN LET PEOPLE CHAT VIRTUALLY IN LIFELIKE 3-D. IT'S CALLED PROJECT STARLINE. IT USES MULTIPLE CAMERAS AND
SENSORS TO CREATE A LIFE-SIZED, THREE-DIMENSIONAL MODEL OF THE
PERSON YOU'RE TALKING TO. HAVE A LOOK AT THIS:
>> OH MY GOSH. >> YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. SO IT'S FACETIME. BUT IT'S PRETTY AMAZING
TECHNOLOGY. NOW IT'LL FEEL LIKE THE OTHER
PERSON IS ACTUALLY THERE WITH YOU WHEN YOU TELL THEM YOU'RE ON
MUTE. I LIKE THAT THEY PROMOTE IT WITH
SEPARATED, AS IF THIS WON'T BE USED EXCLUSIVELY FOR PORNOGRAPHY
. AN FINALLY DUNKIN' DONUTS TEAMED
UP WITH A PAINT TO CREATE PINK AND ORANGE INTERIOR HOUSE PAINT
JUST LIKE THE DUNKIN' LOGO. A PLACE TO MAKE YOUR PLACE LOOK
LIKE'S DUNKIN' DONUTS TO GUARANTEE WILL YOU NEVER GET
FULL KUS TODAY OF THE KIDS. YOU SHOULD BE WARNED, I BOUGHT A
FEW CANS OF THIS DUNKIN' PAINT, I TELL YOU WHAT, IT TASTES LIKE
[BLEEP]. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, ARBIES IS
ALSO ENTERING THE WORLD OF HOME GOODS BY RELEASING THIS LINE OF
LOOSE MEAT BED SHEETS.
