The Six Skills of Charismatic Communication

hey there's your boy Jeffy here with a banger for you this week from Paris France now my program charisma mastery it's still coming out on February 17th as scheduled but before then you might be interested in joining the seven-day charisma mastery challenge that's gonna be starting on January 29th if you join the free Facebook group there's everything you need in there but the group will close on January 29th so go to charisma mastery calm to get on the VIP list to be updated on the upcoming release as well as join that Facebook group because that'll get you familiarized with a lot of these concepts I'll be issuing seven challenges over the course of the week and during that time you'll report back after completing those challenges and it'll enable you basically to hit the ground running when the program itself starts the program launches so why did I make charisma mastery look let's face it nobody likes the person that can't hold a conversation right I see this every single week when I'm out doing my live coaching is right there will be at least one or two guys in the program that just doesn't have charisma there are a piece of furniture they're basically a nonentity they lack that pizzazz they like that x-factor that really makes all the difference in the world from somebody just saying lines or techniques with this impassive tone and somebody was able to go up and captivate their attention without even saying anything that unusual or that different and most people think that charisma is something that you know you're born with right it's god-given you have or you don't the fact is it's not magic and it can be exercised it can be strengthened and with charisma mastery I have created a program to do just that so in this video I'm gonna give you just a small sneak peek into just again one small part of the program where I discuss what I call these six basic skills of charisma now when we're analyzing something as complicated as social interaction conversational skill there's a lot of different ways that you could choose to to isolate the underlying skills right the underlying component skills and in charisma mastery I chose to categorize them as energizing concentrating structuring stylizing imagining and coordinating and these six skills when practiced via the exercise process laid out of charisma mastery exercise virtually every possible communication skill required by a so-called charismatic communicator and again this is just a little taste to begin to familiarize you with some of these concepts there's much more just again tip of the iceberg but I hope you enjoyed this video from Paris check it out for the next program I put out I really wanted to explore those components of wit and charisma down to the molecular level right so I'd have a better explanation furthermore I'd have a process to actually exercise this as I did so I looked at a variety of sources from like cognitive behavioral therapy to obscure acting methods to peak performance athletic training methods to more kind of ephemeral transcendental approaches and like I said it started to become very clear as I did so that my previous assessment of what constitutes verbal wit you know invisible threads and letting go was correct but extremely oversimplified and one thing that I've seen time and time again and this relates back to the whole self judgemental dilemma is people have an inability to execute how many people in here like believe that you know you feel like you have a very good intellectual handle on the steps when you go out the vast majority I mean you've all watched the videos you may have engaged with paid paid products you know the the professional products but then something like I see every weekend these guys they're not they're not stupid people for the most part but you know they go out and then I'm like alright go and do this and they just can't do it something's blocking or they'll do something and I'll give them some some feedback back okay so in that in that interaction you chose to do this and it resulted in this and a better thing would be to do this do you understand yes I understand you look at their face they logic they intellectually they understand and then you're like okay okay and what do they do same exact thing so something's blocking there's something eternal that's blocking them so removing those emotional blocks is I truly I truly believe it's the next level of teaching this stuff right and we started to actually approach this several years ago you know you might have seen back me about four years ago when Tyler started putting out those videos where he's like yelling at people he's in the crowd he's like I'm in your head high high right we've all seen those and I remember I went to a couple of those events where he was doing that I'm like okay we're a cult now like this is it we finally achieved health status do I get a little hat or something like what you know and so after attending some of those events I saw the efficacy of it and I saw what he was trying to do again get down to what's causing these blockages internally so I wanted to create something very unique in this area specifically as it relates to social interaction so the purpose of this new program that I'm putting out is very simple it's to teach people to open and sustain charismatic expression with increasing consistency and again this fundamental purpose is supported by a secondary purpose which is to allow people to fulfill their expressive potential because that's what I feel is is the blockage they're unable to communicate clearly they're unable to communicate externally what they feel they want to communicate internally and so to do this I wanted to create an exercise process that would allow for the fulfillment of that expressive potential okay so to achieve this purpose we need to explore the areas of emotional vibe of reliable vocal projection of creative imagination of control of the body's nonverbal means of communication and these skills have to be fully integrated and free in like a technique that's free from inhibition and free from tensions so we're gonna jump right to that today and the six basic skills that I think that we you know we want to work on when we're talking to interacting with other people far as follows energizing concentrating structuring stylizing imagining and coordinating so the first is energizing now as we know there are three main projective modes before anything can happen through those projective modes the energy must be available so because there's so much a part of our lives our day-to-day personal lives we really don't examine the processes by which we project emotion and feeling in fact me even showing you this stuff you're probably like huh this seems kind of like dense dense material right you need to understand what is happening internally as you try to execute that's what this program is all about beginning to understand and become aware of these processes now remember as the intellect observes it judges the potential downsides of the expression of emotional energy and intellect can't do to stop you it has to call something into play as its enforcer to stop the expression of the energy of the of the dangerous energy what does it call in play kinesthetic mode kinesthetic mode is is its enforcer tensions and most of these tensions are sub threshold you're probably not even aware of them but once we begin to become aware of them we can start to release them so you can actually take action these entanglements this tension it affects your stance it affects your body language it affects your voice it affects your facial affect etc etc etc your movement through space furthermore and this is very important always remember to avoid equating energy and with the repression of that energy right this is a huge thing think about it let's say you are trying your very sad about something you're trying not to cry okay you want to cry let's say something really bad happened imagine a terrible event your friend died your friend or your dog died John wick okay you're John wick so yeah your dog died and you're trying not to cry what's the you're trying to repress it what's the first thing that happens throat glottal tension throat tenses up stiff upper lip stare straight ahead and passively clenched the jaw try not to blink now if that if your repression is strong enough it you won't cry but what happens it you know if the emotion is strong enough it'll break through but here's the thing over time we begin to equate the repression of emotion with the emotion itself alright I think let's take anger for example you're very angry about something what do you equate anger with what's the physical like movement you equate anger with like like this like this is not anger this is repression of anger anger is like you're screaming and perhaps flailing perhaps attacking that's anger this is repression of it so over time you start to think that the repression is the emotion even further going even crazier it's like a lot of times these tensions that are used to tamp the emotion down it becomes this self repeat like self-perpetuating cycle so think about it like you are told at a young age repress this emotion so you have tension right you you want to you want to yell you want to cry no bad don't do this so you repress it now the more that the emotions repressed the more it wants to come out the more attention is called in a play to repress it over time these tensions become so ingrained that they become again sub threshold tension is your greatest enemy as you try to increase your energizing capacity slightest physical tension can block what would otherwise be a very free flow of communicating energy so our purpose is twofold number one we want to identify as many of these obstructing tensions as possible and to explore various mechanisms by which those energies can be released okay like earlier said energy can be thought of as charisma so like it like again we usually think of that as something you either have or you don't but if we defined this energy flow we can Inc like remove the blockages and increase the flow so a few components of charisma as follows constant the ability to concentrate on what's happening in front of you the ability to you know have a certain level of technical skill and whatever field that you're trying to accomplish something and whether that's closing the business deal negotiating resolving the conflict with the neighbor getting intimate with the person you just met so issues of style come into play here as well you know everyone's different every single person in here is different and it's tough to know whether you're gonna actually have the dedication necessary to develop this projective power right it's very very difficult to remove old habits and behavior patterns so habits assert themselves old patterns will emerge as you try to like work with this stuff but by the same token to be more than yourself it's necessary to be firmly grounded in yourself you can't fly without a firm basis to launch from just like how many guys in here or like 18 okay interesting I started doing this job when you were 2 years old if you don't know your dad is I might be him I might be your test right so again you got but you gotta have a firm base but without if you never leave the base you're not gonna fly either so we want to think about isolating when we do these exercises that we're gonna do in a moment here about isolating the energizing powers okay the energizing powers of the emotional the physical the vocal they can become locked in this sort of triangle of tension so a good exercise is to isolate the three so we can actually allow them to work with and not against each other and you know these isolations sometimes will we'll do that by playing opposites like you'll have the emotion of anger and we'll couple that with like a very soft vocal tonality you know it will do weird juxtaposition things like that right since vibe is paramount to maintaining your the interest of the people that you're communicating with and I hope that you get that right the attraction is not caused by the the content content can help it can be helpful and look I know I've seen people become attracted to me just by virtue of the content and like the witticisms and things I'm saying to them but you gotta understand it's more of an intellectual attraction it's an intellectual attracts like oh he's such a funny fellow oh look at this guy oh I like his his witticisms his brain works probably a little crazy but it works okay you know he's able to be unstyled in a social pressure situation that says a lot of good things about you but it's an academic attraction the conversation is the foundation that keeps them there while you move it forward right oh the vibe is so good it's a good emotion like I like this so think of the words like the verbals that's simply the word salad that provides the ostensible reason for people to stay there and keep talking to you the vibe is what keeps on there this feels good I enjoy speaking with this person it's an enjoyable feeling I'm going to stay here again vertical lyric expansion and then you have to blend in what we would call horizontal plot development right so you're moving it along and again whether that's moving it towards the closing the deal whether that's moving it towards getting intimate whether that's moving it towards you know resolution of the conflict whatever whatever your goal is in the particular interaction with this person you have again that vertical vibe expansion and then that allows you you got to synthesize these as well so again there's a lot to think about here so you must learn since vibe is paramount you must learn to put any kind of emotion on any kind of content I can talk about the most mundane stuff in the interaction and it'll actually be like compelling and interesting by virtue of the emotion with which I say it and like I said so many people they're very very in expressive very very in expressive I don't know like how many of you do public speaking fair amount how many of you do anything where you're like on state you put yourself on stage for like you're at the center of attention like even the karaoke bar stand-up comedy that's excellent you want to put yourself in situations where you are the center of attention so you grow accustomed to being the center of attention and you have comfort with that a lot of people if you bring them up here they they could not express themselves in this way they're very like okay so like I've had guys like that's like people intro me like something's random they'll be like hey do the intro for me and they're like hey guys welcome to the thing our Jeff is gonna come up here now and and I hope you like him and can yeah yeah Jeff yeah I mean they're like that they're extremely and expressive and I you know what I see this I see it it's also in there in the live programs that we do you'll see certain guys and they go up they have a very deadpan facial expression right deadpan facial expression we called it or I call it sa D sad serious anxious deadpan like this is serious this interaction serious business anxious I hope it works out and deadpan because you can't be hurt by what you don't show so like what if I look silly what if I look stupid what if it's too aggressive what if I look weak etc etc etc so they're very deadpan facial expression the voice sometimes the voice isn't monotone but it has certain ruts they speak in certain ruts that they like certain Cadence's and things that they speak in over and over and over and it's kind of a similar effect as if they were monotone and then also then they're very stiff another one is they're very stiff as they move through the crowd as they just stand in the environment I remember one time I took out I had a couple students and and we ended up at the end of the night we ended up at the karaoke bar and it's like nearing the end of the night everyone then there is like sloshed mannered like peak Caucasians ma'am earnest like like like like everyone everyone in the entire place except for two people the students and they're like like they may as well have spotlights on them like does not belong does not belong and they're going up to these people and they're like excuse me and then the girl be like oh because like they're like just in the fun zone they're like blah and there's a low dirt and there's like any girls like confuse looks confusion like and they just ignore ignore is though they're a plant they're they're a potted plant or a piece of furniture they're like this this chair this table because they don't belong right they're not part of the environment so the vibe is paramount you gotta learn to put any emotion on any type of content so once we are able to access these energetic channels we need to learn how to put them into action which brings us to the second skill concentrating now first of all let's examine the ideas of exclusion versus incorporation and there's a lot of opposites that need to be synthesized when we're talking about going out and meeting people okay do yes speak loudly louder louder yeah female friend she told me she's safety or sexual yes this is a very this is a very common thing to see on tinder profiles now sapiosexual yes yes yes I'm well aware of this and you know that's where I get half my results from sapiosexual because I'm a genius like Kanye West but you know a little bit of a hyperbolic statement but I think for the vast majority of people it would behoove them to move toward a more vibe based way of seeing things because again we're talking like some some you know software engineer who's like well I have a 143 IQ I'm going to demonstrate my through my vocabulary and my knowledge of various topics how much value I have that this guy is going to have a tough a tough time so again for yes like I said before I've seen people become attracted to me by the things that I say I've seen it happen but overall I think most people the average guy he would stand to he could stand to benefit from improving his his capacity divided so yeah exclusion versus incorporation so what does this mean how much you focus on things in the environment when you're interacting versus how much your focus is internal so there has to be a balance there you know if you're just focused completely internally you're a quote in your head if you're just focused completely on what's going on outside you're not gonna be able to manage again the interrelationship of these I intellectual intuitive resources so here I want to stress that there has to be congruence between intellect and intuition okay it felt like for example let's say that I'm singing you know I do karaoke a lot i was the san francisco karaoke champion that always sounds cooler in my mind before I say it out loud thank you but you know let's say yeah [Applause] there was there was a tournament and I believe one of the one of the judges was some kind of puppet if I recall correctly and the prize was twenty three dollars and fifty cents anyway so if I'm on stage and say I'm singing and I I miss I I missed the note I screw up the note it's a little off pitch in process if I'm singing my intellect becomes too involved with judging that so I mean I'm still the song's still going I'm like oh look if my in likes all you that up and if my intellect gets too involved with judging or trying to figure out how what went wrong there well now I'm on the back foot and now the next notes might be compromised as well and it becomes this sort of cascading series of errors so the same thing can happen when you're interacting you know if I'm conversing and I make an error let's say it's like a timing issue or failure to vibe effectively or inability to control the flow of the conversation and it gets away from me or there's some sort of interruption I don't handle it well you know we all know there's a number of things that can go wrong mechanically in your in your conversation if you judge the mistakes in the moment and you don't simply let it pass and allow the intuition to reassert control you know you trust your faculties trust your experience in that matter what's gonna happen well your ability to perceive the emotional statements being sent out by the people you're interacting with is going to be compromised simultaneously your ability to send out yourself send out useful messages as the interaction continues to develop is going to be hindered so remember the intellect must be enlisted in a partnership with the other modes okay a partnership with the intuition discern but don't judge in process so for example let's say I go on a date and I arrive at the date and the bar that I've selected to meet them at it's very crowded there's nowhere to sit I've had this happen like I go there I'd like to sit at the bar never across from the table that's by the way the one of the worst mistakes you can make if you want to sitting across from her table so like let's say we get there but the bars packed I'll be interacting with this person I'll say it's from tinder I did a literally just met her and I'm trying to manage this interaction but then simultaneously one part of me like some certain percentage of me is like watching the bar to see who's settling up like so I can steal the seats so again my my focus is split and this can affect it or let's say that we're randomly interrupted let's say I'm telling a joke and I'm about to get the punchline and then like the waiter comes to you everything okay here with the drinks or or even more extreme let's say that we're we're sitting there and there's like a random randomly a friend of hers is in the place it's like oh hey so-and-so it's like oh hey it's like her good friend from work or something oh hey and they like interrupts it likes kind of steps on my joke I have to be able to process that or if I'm on stage here and there's like some commotion at the back like one of these hotel people comes in is like pointing at me and saying things all of these thoughts might be part of my internal process but I will not allow them to interfere with the message that I'm projecting right so none of those thoughts contradicting the state that I'm trying to communicate will be allowed access to the projective resources right this is something you want to train edit out non useful messages you don't want to send out anxiety messages that are not the intention of your intellect okay you want to be able to choose intellectually you want to be able to allow that projective mode without whatever mode you're employing it's time to be in a state of congruence remember intellect is not a villain we don't to frame it as this awful and it needs to be destroyed you know it can discern creative choices in what you project it's only when it begins to judge that the problems arise this program is designed to give you a process to open and sustain charismatic expression with increasing consistency remove the obstacles isolate the skills exercise them separately then put them together in a more completely realized whole how to speak to all the issues surrounding this interrelationship between intuitive and intellectual resources is arguably the most fundamental challenge facing anyone who's attempting to improve their communication skills so if you're looking to develop general charisma you can apply across all areas of life definitely check out Jeff's charisma mastery [Music]

Channel: Jeff Allen Charisma Mastery

Views: 23,943

Rating: 4.9068565 out of 5

Keywords: jeffy, jeff allen, flirting, meeting people, charisma, charismatic people, emotional intelligence, intuition, intellect, vocal mode, facial expressions, facial emotions, social intelligence, universal energy, charismatic communication, emotions, human energy system, concentration, energizing, coordinating, imagination, structure of conversation, style of communication, stylizing, concentrating, six skills, six skills of charisma, six skills of charismatic communication, vibe, magnetic vibe

Id: 85jQpsxhMCc

Length: 25min 52sec (1552 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 08 2020