The Shadow: Become Who You're Afraid To Be

this video is sponsored by ag1 start your day with foundational nutrition that supports whole body Health use the link in the description to get your free welcome kit it was Bertrand's first night in his new Cottage in the countryside of the Scottish lowlands he had just moved from Stockbridge a neighborhood that was once a reasonably small village but had become absorbed by Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh as the new town had grown and encroached on the neighboring Villages bertran didn't really like people he often found himself feeling exhausted by them at best he felt this way as long as he could remember as a child he was very rambunctious at least that's what people called him he was insistent curious and active he often challenged local boys to fights he refused to sit still in primary school he liked finding high places to climb and then throwing rocks off the edge to see them explode into pieces being of a strict traditional religious family beron frequently found himself in trouble and subject to the discipline of his father his father was especially strict and and harsh and his discipline often teetered into the realm of abuse he would sometimes hit Bertrand or deprive him of things like food or his bed beran's mother's disciplinary style was far more passive but being passively complicit in abuse is its own form of abuse outside of his home life beran's experience at school and church wasn't much better a figure like his father seemed to be present everywhere at an early age for Bertrand people were mostly just reminders that he needed to be someone else someone who others expected and wanted him to be as berin got older he fell more and more in line he learned how to accept and adhere to the rules demands and structure of his home his church his school programs and Society after secondary school he enrolled in a ship building program and then went on to work for a major ship manufacturer in the city his boss was awful often taking advantage of Bertrand forcing him to work jobs without pay or fulfill tasks completely unrelated to his responsibilities his co-workers sometimes took advantage of him as well especially the older ones outside of work he was mostly alone as he struggled to maintain many friendships and relationships Bertrand was often angry at work and at home he felt trapped in the neighborhood and City he was regularly bothered by the noise and activity the sounds of the world seemed to constantly bang against his home a small one bedroom stoneface construction sandwiched between others just like it sounds smacked against his windows his floorboards his walls his head at 32 years old bertran had some money some skills and some autonomy and now he wanted out when the first opportunity came for him to leave the neighborhood and surrounding City he took it now in his new Cottage home deep in the countryside he was secluded from everyone it was a perfect midsize simple home with plenty of land where he could now build handcrafted ships directly for individuals on his own the cottage was over 2 miles away from any towns it was accessible only by one single road that would rarely see much of any traffic from every angle of his house you couldn't see anyone you couldn't even see any signs of anyone it was just bertran now it was late and bertran was tired he lay in bed thinking back and forth to himself for a while soon he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply the hallucinogenic state of sleep began to take over his waking mind typical to this pH of the night he experienced weird disconnected thoughts contemplations visualizations and desires that bertran didn't recognize and that he wasn't quite sure of where they came from suddenly his eyes shot open a wave of fear and anxiety crashed over him knocking him back under the shores of wakefulness he could have sworn he heard what sounded like a loud thud he frantically looked around the room trying to locate it not finding anything he quickly got up and went over to one of his bedroom windows he looked out across the sprawling grass-covered Hills scattered with trees the landscape dimly lit by only stars and the waxing crescent moon he looked down at his front yard then his front door then he looked to both sides of the cottage pushing the sides of his head against the window to get as much perspective as he could there was nothing hm he said out loud to himself confused must have been in my head he thought to himself bertran went back to bed again he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply this breath was quite a bit louder and shook a bit as he exhaled he struggled to fall back asleep his heart was beating a tune the opposite of a lullabi after enough time had passed however the crests of brain waves began to spread out again and bertran began to fall back into the early stages of sleep dud thud dud his eye shot open again trying to be as quiet as he could he clumsily rolled out of bed and scurried to his closet he pulled out a long piece of wood that looked like an old piece of floorboard slowly he slid on his feet over to the bedroom door and opened it his face clenched as it creaked hesitantly Bertrand made his way around the house holding the piece of wood over his shoulders starting on the second floor he checked every Hall and every room he checked behind the curtains he checked in the closets and hidden pockets of rooms he checked behind every door then he did the same on the first floor there was nothing anywhere dud bertran H again this time it was louder he was sure it was coming from inside it sounded like it was coming from beneath him dud dud bertran hadn't checked the basement yet he slowly opened the basement door his eyes peering timidly around the edge of it not seeing anything he began down the stairs as light as he could carrying all his weight on the fronts of his feet as he descended he looked around the cold dark Barren Space filled with miscellaneous items that he was storing down there otherwise there was nothing thud dud dud he heard again this instance was by far the loudest as bertran attempted to follow the direction of the sound his eyes caught something he hadn't previously noticed it was a handle on what appeared to be a small wooden hatch on the ground in one of the corners of the basement almost without thinking bertran approached it he stared down at it his heart was beating so loudly he couldn't tell if the thuing sound was coming from him now or beneath him with a shaky hand that struggled to follow the direction of his mind Beren reached down and open the door in an instant a plume of black smoke and fragments of light exploded out of it knocked bertran back and off his feet and shattering the piece of wood into shards when he regained some semblance of awareness and control bertran found in front of him what could only be described as some sort of monster bertran entered into a State of Shock he couldn't believe what he was seeing he didn't believe it I must be dreaming he thought to himself but the pain felt undeniably real the smoke and light were still emanating out of the open hatch and berin couldn't get a clear view what he could see though appeared to be a large shadow y creature it just stood there staring back at bertran through the clouds of smoke and beams of light it moved with a sort of unnatural naturalness a fluidity typically reserved only for underwater creatures it looked like it was almost hovering before bertran could get a good view he got up and sprinted out of the basement he ran up the stairs out the front door and down the road he ran and he ran and he ran the next morning a shopkeeper for a general store in one of the nearest towns found bertran sleeping outside the store's entrance the shopkeeper was an older man in his 60s or 70s his hair was gray and thin mostly only left on the sides of his head filling in more and more down toward his chin forming into a full beard he was short and hunched over a bit but he walked with complete confidence and indifference he gave bertran a friendly but forceful nudge with his foot as he walked up to the store's entrance bertran quickly jolted up dusting himself off shaking his head and and scrunching his eyes hi beran said frantic and disoriented hello the old man said the man continued pass bertran unlocking the front door and entering the store bertran chased in after him I need a weapon bertran shouted clumsily okay said the man in a calm unaffected tone everything we have is over there the man pointed at a few shelves and cases toward the back of the store bertran rushed over to the shelves and cases and began inspecting them are you from around here the old man asked yeah I just moved a mile or two up the road beron responded why not much out here said the old man that's why bertran answered self-reliance self-actualization hm said the Old Man berin compared prices of weapons and imagined battles inside his head in which he killed the monster in which he regained control over and peace inside his home eventually he looked over to the man I'll take that one he said pointing at a a large sword that'll be6 lb said the old man bertran paid the shopkeeper left the store and made his way back home when he arrived home he spent some time in his front yard by himself he practiced using the sword trying different stances and swiping it in front of him he struck and slashed at nothing after many hours passed and the sun began to submit to the night's sky and he felt he was ready bertran went inside and into the basement he found the basement empty and quiet the hatch was closed he slowly approached it holding the sword out in front of him his breath sped up his heartbeat echoed throughout his body with the sword in his right hand he opened the hatch with his left and outshot the smoke and light nearly blinding him soon the hazy outline of the monster emerged and bertran began to swing the sword back and forth in its direction he completely forgot all the Motions he had planned the monster seemed to almost morph into what looked like a disfigured person bertran swung harder and harder the monster appeared completely unaffected it effortlessly evaded every swing bertran soon realizing his underpreparedness retreated frantically running back up the stairs out his home and down the road he ran and he ran and he ran the next morning again the shopkeeper found bertran sleeping outside the store's entrance he kicked bertran and bertran jumped up hi I um I need a different weapon that one didn't work I need something more powerful and easier to use okay the old man responded come on in bertran followed the man in going back over to the shelves in cases of weapons after much inspection he decided on a flail a weapon with a spiked metal ball attached to a wooden handle by a metal chain I'll take that one bertron said pointing at the flail that'll be5 the old man responded Beren paid the man and began his way back home before going inside he practiced with the flail nighttime soon began to take its turn in the sky and after he felt ready bertran made his way inside and down into the basement again he found the basement quiet the hatch was closed trembling he opened it and outshot the smoke and the light and the terror bertran moved back and steadied himself waiting for a better view of the monster then he began to swing the flail recklessly his eyes were closed more than open the monster effortlessly shoved ber away sending him sliding on his back across the basement floor and slamming him into the wall in immense pain now Beren scurried back onto his feet and ran out of the basement out of his home and down the road he ran and he ran and he ran the next morning unsurprised at this point the shopkeeper found bertron waiting outside the store he let him in and bertran looked around at all the weapons again after a few minutes passed bertran looked over at the shopkeeper and said excuse me the old man looked over yeah he said I need weapons but I also need something else an edge something that might help me in a fight mentally or physically or both you have anything like that yeah the old man said nonchalantly he walked over to the other side of the store still behind the counter and then returned with a small reddish bottle I think this is what you're looking for he said handing the bottle to bertran the label on the bottle read numbing Elixir feel nothing drink a few drops of that and for several hours you won't feel any pain that's perfect bertran said with enthusiasm I'll take it one pound the man said bertron paid the man and returned home before going inside he drank a few drops of The Elixir he grabbed his flail that he had left outside and swung it around a bit as he waited for the effects of the Elixir to kick in soon he began to feel numb he felt the warmth and calmness and Bliss a disconnection from his body and a disconnection from the terror it made him so numb however that when he went down into the basement and opened the hatch he could barely stand upright his balance was off his focus and aim were absent he flailed even more wildly at the monster than he had the night prior get out of my house bertran yelled with a slur in his voice you don't belong here this is mine I live here the monster swerved around the basement evading beran's halfhazard swings it knocked and shoved bertran around but bertran didn't feel anything of it because of the Elixir he didn't even barely care that he wasn't accomplishing anything he didn't care that the monster was there puppeteering him around his own home soon bertran became exhausted and just gave up he retreated back upstairs and this night he just slept in his room he took a few more Drops Of The Elixir before he went to bed he figured if the monster was going to kill him it would have already done so and since he couldn't feel any pain what was the [Music] risk over the fall following many days bertran attempted to fight the monster nearly every night drinking increasing quantities of The Elixir each time he returned to the General Store many times to buy more weapons he bought double-sided axes Stars a bow and arrow and so on he bought more and more of the Elixir as well by this point his home was a mess he hadn't cleaned it or finished organizing his stuff and broken objects were scattered around his home from nights in which he took too much elixir he hadn't got much of any work done on the ship he was supposed to be working on he couldn't focus he couldn't barely sleep at least not without the Elixir he couldn't live a normal life in his own home he was angry all the time his life became consumed by fighting the monster doing everything he could to kill it and yet nothing worked desperate bertran found himself at the store again I need something else something different he said to the shopkeeper in a defeated tone as he stared at the inventory of weapons and elixir do you have any anything else what exactly are you fighting the old man asked you never even said bertran looked up and over at him I'm not sure it's some sort of monster he lives in the basement of my new home hm said the old man well you've tried nearly every weapon I have every Elixir the old man rubbed his beard for a moment what does the monster want I'm not sure berin responded confused it's a monster I don't know if it wants anything well everything wants something thing have you tried talking to it bertran paused no like I said it's a monster well maybe you should try you know some monsters don't even mean to be monsters and they don't want to be they're born or created in a way that causes them to be one or the world treats them like one and that causes them to be one either way they often just need what you or I or anyone else needs to be talked to to be respected to be given the space to be themselves you want my recommendation go home no weapons no Elixir go to the monster ask it who it is and what it wants except that it is there in your house find common ground with it compromise with it empathize with it some things you can't ignore or fight some things you have to talk to directly bertran stood in silence for a moment staring back at the man he nodded and left when berin returned home he went into the basement he left his weapons outside he kept himself sober in the basement as it always was the hatch was closed he approached it breathed in deeply and then reached down and ripped it open smoke and light shot out the clouds and raay consumed him as he watched the vague outline of the monster appear in front of him it stood bertran did not approach it but he did not back away either he stood his ground close enough to see and communicate with it the hazy out outline morphed more and more into a defined human-like figure Beren breathed in loudly through his nostrils then in a shaky but bold voice he said would you like to come upstairs we could talk there there was a long pause yes thank you said the [Music] monster thank you so much for watching this video is sponsored by H1 with the winter months in full swing our mental and physical health can easily become affected by this cold dreary time of year focusing on our well-being is of course important all year long but it's especially important during this time dealing with this issue is complex but some of the foundational building blocks include things like managing stress and cognition and supporting your digestive health and immune system of course managing these things is its own Challenge and that's what ag1 help solve ag1 is a daily foundational nutrition supplement that supports whole body Health including the brain the gut and the immune system through its science-driven formulation of micronutrients phytonutrients and essential symbiotics it combines the value of multiple supplements into one simple easy to commit to and more effective method when it comes to managing stress sustaining energy and keeping a balanced mood a1's adaptogens vitamins minerals and other highquality ingredients are designed to support these areas by helping raise your Baseline health and supporting the gut and nervous system getting comprehensive nutrition is hard and finding less stressful ways to manage things like stress and health is obviously better ag1 has been so easy to commit to on a daily basis over a long term it tastes great and it quickly became a Cornerstone of my daily routine effortlessly catalyzing the day with good health and consistency go to drink a1.com pursuit of Wonder to get your free welcome kit that includes the canister Shaker a year supply of vitamin D3 and K2 and five extra travel packs of H1 and of course as always thank you so much for watching in general and see you next [Music] video

Channel: Pursuit of Wonder

Views: 330,999

Keywords:

Id: P2-pe-51Xto

Length: 19min 21sec (1161 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 15 2024