This video is sponsored by the book summary service Blankest the first 100 people to use the link in the description will receive free unlimited access for one week plus 25% off a full membership Carl sat on his couch looking back and forth between his phone and the ceiling trying to figure out whether he was about to move Ten thousand miles away to Australia leaving his home girlfriend family friends job and whole life behind or not The opportunity to move had suddenly come up when his best friend, Novak Decided he would be moving to Australia with his girlfriend and aged 27, Novak was facing a sort of quarter life crisis and wanted to try and start something new and venture out into the world while he still felt new himself. Moving to Australia had been both Novak and Carl's dream ever since they were children and their families vacationed there. They both felt a weird natural connection with the colors, architecture, people and feeling of the country. They visited again several times after throughout their teens and early 20s. On one of their trips when they were 15, Carl and Novak agreed that they would move there when they were older. That, and they would start a business together This would remain their dream ever since as they grew older though, like most dreams, it began to take a backseat to reality. Carl went to college for accounting in his hometown of Boston and got a job through a professor right after school that he couldn't turn down Novak had a family member in a tech startup company in Boston and as a result He was given an opportunity to work for the company However, after four years of Novak working for the company It was suddenly acquired and he was out of a job. As part of the layoffs, he was provided with the nice-sized severance package and now with some new extra money and nothing else stopping him, he decided he wanted to start a business and take a major leap of faith in his life. His girlfriend, somewhat of a free spirit, was on board with him. Novak came up with the idea of moving to Australia and creating an eco-friendly Agrotech company that utilized Australia's farming industry and its demand for local farm-fresh organic food. One month later Novak told Carl that he and his girlfriend were moving to Australia within the next couple months He told him about the business idea that he and his girlfriend worked on together and showed him the Beta website and app he created. It looked and sounded great and well thought-out. Novak's girlfriend had experience working in logistics and Novak understood the business and technology side. They were the perfect duo. When Karl didn't fully understand, Novak explained to him that he wanted him to be a partner in the business and that he should move to Australia with them. He told Karl it would be perfect and he could initially be in charge of sales, marketing, outreach, budgeting and all the finances. He reminded Karl of their dream and told him how it would only get harder to move and try to create something like this. He sort of ridiculed the idea of Karl staying in Boston and working a corporate job for the rest of his life as if that's what he really wanted He told Karl how this business had a real chance to help people, how they could build a business model that would provide families with food who couldn't afford it and help the planet by contributing to a more sustainable food industry. Karl agreed with Novak's points, but told him that he needed a couple days to think about it at least Novak agreed and told them to let him know after he thought about it more. Over the next day, Karl thought about all the factors associated with the decision. He thought about how his mother had recently passed away just two years prior and he and his father had become extremely close ever since His father was not taking it Well and Karl's older brother had a strained relationship with his father and so, in a way, Karl was all his father had left he worried that if he left, it would break him. Karl also thought about his girlfriend Stephanie They had only been dating a little more than a year, but he had already started imagining a future with her. Things were going well and they just seemed to click right? He knew that he couldn't expect her to go with him and he knew a long-distance relationship was bound to fail, if she even agreed to it. He thought about all his other friends and family. He knew it wasn't as if they would cease to exist, but he also knew that in a way their existence would fade a little perhaps so much so for some that it would almost be as if they no longer existed at all. Then he thought about his current job He worked for a great firm with great benefits, and he'd finally started making some headway in the company There was a lot of financial promise ahead of him and he knew it was the more prudent career bet, but then at the same time he thought about how a greater risk meant a potentially greater reward He didn't mind his current job, but it was fairly tedious and unexcited He sort of just happened into it as a means of a conservative career path He had always dreamed of being a part of building a business and creating a more meaningful impact and legacy for himself. Furthermore, he never particularly liked Boston. He had always wanted to move to the countryside ever since he was a kid Specifically he always envisioned a future where he lived in Australia It was just one of those things that he had convinced himself of and now at 27, Karl felt an urge to leave home and forge his own life for himself while he was still young He wondered how he could turn down such an opportunity to move to his dream location with his best friend and try to build something potentially important and helpful How could he turn his back on his own vision of his future when it was right in front of him? For the following three days Karl thought about the decision every waking second, ruminating back and forth between the potential outcomes of both choices after Four days, it seemed as if no matter how hard he tried he made no progress in the decision He remained equally unsure as to what he should do on the fourth day as the first both options seemed impossible to decipher It wasn't an equation with numeric values or obvious reasoning each option was completely different with their own entirely different set of variables and values, with no ability to know what any of it equated to Karl had purposely held off sharing the situation with anyone else, so to avoid getting anyone upset before he had a better sense of what he was going to do himself, but by this point he needed someone else's opinion. Over the next two days, Karl told his father his girlfriend two of his other close friends and his aunt. He asked each of them what they thought he should do. Everyone gave him different answers. His dad and one of his friends said he should go his aunt and his other friend said he should stay. His girlfriend didn't give him a straight answer, but her tears said everything Karl needed to know. They all had perfectly good, rational explanations for what they suggested and yet Karl was no better off He wondered how each answer could sound equally reasonable, but be completely contradictory. On the sixth night of indecision, Karl went on a walk around the city to try and clear his head. He walked late into the night, all around the city and along the harbour eventually he found himself on a bench facing the water completely secluded in a sectioned off corner of a pathway. He sat, deep in thought. He thought about how his entire future was hinged on this one decision contained inside his head, that in his brain was the power to facilitate one move that would contort his entire world forever and yet he couldn't even know what choice was right. He thought about how insane this was to be given the ability to make decisions but not given the ability to ever know the consequences of them He felt like he was blind and forced to drive a car. He wished he could just know how both options would play out. Then he would know which one to choose. Overwhelmed, Karl looked out at the stars and moon glimmering against the water. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath Suddenly an older man walked past Carl and sat on a bench just a couple feet away. This jolted Carl to attention He was immediately surprised by anyone being in the same secluded pathway and was curious as to why a man who looked to be at least in his 80s would be out, alone, at 2:00 a.m. Worried that the man was perhaps unwell or lost, Karl decided to ask him if he was okay. Politely, he turned and leaned over to the man and said "How's everything going tonight?" The man slowly turned towards Carl and said "Good. How 'bout yourself?" "Good," Karl responded, "is everything okay?" "Yeah, everything's great. It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" replied the old man. Karl looked up to the sky. "Yeah, it is." he agreed, then they sat quietly as Carl sort of jumped back and forth between contemplating his decision again and being distracted by the man's strange presence the idea of asking the man his opinion occurred to Karl. He looked over to the man and asked him if he could ask him a question. "Yeah, sure. Shoot." the man replied. Karl then went on and described his predicament He explained the business, his job, his girlfriend, his best friend, his father and everything else. Then he asked the old man what he would do. The man laughed a little, as if he had some experience or insight about the subject that was comical to him. "So, you want to make the right choice, but you don't know what the right choice is?" the old man asked. "Yeah, exactly." Karl replied. "I'm completely lost. I wish I could just know what both would be like, you know?" "Yeah, if only." the old man said with another chuckle. "Wouldn't that make everything easier? They sat quietly for a moment while the man thought. Then he said, "What if you just decide right now based on what I choose? Someone who basically doesn't know you at all. It'll be like flipping a coin, but the coin has a brain and understands the situation a little." Somehow this made sense to Karl, and after thinking for a moment, he agreed. He just needed it to be over. The old man paused and then quickly said, "Alright, you're going." In a desperate clinging to reason, Karl asked the old man, "What made you choose that?" "I guess you'll have to find that out." replied the old man. Karl sat for a moment processing the fact that he was going to do what the man just said. Then, when he got up and went to thank the man and wish him a good night, he was gone. Karl figured he must have just left while he was thinking and didn't hear him say goodbye. Five weeks later Carl was on a plane with Novak and Novak's girlfriend, headed to Australia. 20 years would go by. Karl has remained in Australia ever since he moved. He now considers it home even after 20 years, it still feels amazing to him. A walk along the coast or into the countryside never ceases to amaze him and bring him a little peace. He and Stephanie broke up within the first three months of trying to maintain some form of a long-distance relationship. One and a half years later, he met a woman named Natalie. They fell in love almost instantly. They got married three years later, and they now have two healthy boys who have provided Karl's life with a great source of purpose and love. Karl, Novak and Novak's girlfriend's business ran for about six years until unforeseen industry changes, operational problems and regulations forced them to shut it down. They had tried pivoting the business model several times before it failed, all with no luck. During this time, however, Karl discovered a surprisingly strong passion for the farming process himself. A year after the original business ended, Karl bought a small indoor farm facility and started his own personal farming business. The business became profitable in the first three years but the profit ceiling is low and it brings in a fairly small amount of money each month. His wife, who works as a freelance copywriter, doesn't bring in much money either. Because of the low income and the expenses of two children, the financial burden made Karl and Natalie horrible and bitter to one another. Their personalities just never quite clicked after the early phases of the marriage. They've stayed together for the kids, but they're miserable. Karl and Novak have remained close during and after the business and have formed a nice little friend group with others they've met along the way even though the original plan didn't work out, Karl feels connected with his work and contributing directly to a local sustainable food industry gives him the occasional sense of pride. However, it has come at the cost of constant financial burden, heavy stress and minimal free time. Karl isn't happy but he isn't unhappy he's a mix of both, depending on the time or day. As the years went by, Karl visited home less and less. He would go home and visit his father most Christmases and special occasions, but eventually he started missing a few years here and there. The last time he visited his father was at his funeral. At the service, Karl stood, looking down at his father's lifeless body. He looked around at old friends, family members neighbors, his brother who he hadn't seen in five years. He looked at his wife. He immediately needed to get some fresh air after the service was over He walked to the bar down the street that he would go to when he was in his 20s As fate would have it, he passed by Stephanie. They noticed each other hugged and talked for a little while. Karl told her why he was home and she said she was sorry. It was weird. He felt at ease, almost as if they didn't miss a beat He felt more comfortable with her in that moment than he had in a long time. After a little, they said how great it was to see each other and went their separate ways. Karl sat at the bar drinking alone. He thought back to the day he left and felt a weird sense of regret. He wondered if he did the wrong thing, leaving his father, his family and Stephanie. Leaving his good job that would have certainly paid away most of his current problems. He remembered how he let some stranger make such an important decision for him and suddenly felt like his regret wasn't even his, which made it feel exponentially worse. Later that night, Karl walked around the city by himself to try to clear his head He walked down the edge of the city along the harbor. He sat down on the same bench he sat on many years ago, facing the water. He sat back in the bench looking up at the stars, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He sat there for a moment. Suddenly, an old man poked Karl's shoulder. Karl, disoriented, opened his eyes to an old man standing above him Before Carl could say anything, the old man asked him if he was okay. Karl, having realized he must have passed out on the bench, told the man he was fine and just fell asleep. The old man sat on the bench a few feet away as he explained to Carl how it was unsafe to fall asleep alone in such an area. "You're likely to get robbed or something." He said. Karl agreed and said it was an accident. He explained to the old man that he hadn't been able to get much sleep the last several days, because he had been trying to make the decision about whether or not he would be moving to Australia After talking for a little while and explaining his predicament about the business, his best friend, his girlfriend, his father and everything else, Karl had the idea to ask the old man what he thought he should do. The man laughed a little as if he had some experience or insight about the subject that was comical to him. After a little more conversation, the man said, "What if you just decide right now, based on what I choose? Someone who basically doesn't know you at all. It'll be like flipping a coin but the coin has a brain and understands the situation a little." Stricken with a weird sense of déjà vu, Karl agreed. He just needed it to be over. The old man paused for a moment and then quickly said "Alright, you're staying." In a desperate clinging to reason, Karl asked, "Why, what made you choose that?" "I guess you'll have to find that out." said the old man. Five weeks later Novak was on a plane for Australia while Karl ate dinner with Stephanie and his father. 20 years would go by Karl has stayed in the Boston area. He has climbed the ranks in his career field and has become chief financial officer for a nice midsize company. He is making an incredible salary. He married Stephanie a couple years after deciding to stay. They decided against having children because Stephanie was against it and Karl wasn't sure himself and was willing to concede Over the years their love grew stronger and stronger. They fight like any couple but there's a luster in their relationship that's rare and always present. They seem to just click, as if their personalities were meant to work together. Their relationship has provided Carl with a great source of love and purpose in his life Karl had also remained close with his father and helped him into his old age. They've maintained a close bond that Karl cherishes. Most of Karl's other friends, however have moved away or drifted apart Novak and Carl sort of lost contact as well only seeing each other once every year or so, if that. With no children and a higher income, money has never really been an issue and his personal life is fairly stress-free He never really came around to liking his job, though, as he climbed the corporate ranks. It came with increasing bureaucratic tedium and he found an absurdity and pointlessness in it all. The longer he stayed though, the harder it was to leave. As he's aged, he's felt a sense of boredom, hollowness and social isolation in his life. He isn't happy but he isn't unhappy he's a mix of both, depending on the time or day. On his 40th birthday, Karl had a party. Novak flew out, along with a couple other old friends. At the party, Karl spent a good deal of time catching up with Novak and Novak told him all about the last couple years in Australia. He told him how his three kids were doing and how well the business was doing Karl asked Novak about some details in the business and Novak explained how their third partner who they had found when they first moved and had helped them get the business through some hard times, was now playing a key role in the business, moving into foreign markets. He told Karl the business was helping thousands of families each month, and he was extremely proud of it. Then he told karlie wished he would have been the person he was talking about instead. Karl saw the pride and enthusiasm in Novak's eyes when he spoke about his children and his business. Karl looked around at his co-workers at his apartment. He suddenly felt a sense of doubt and regret in his life's path. He wondered if he did the wrong thing. He thought about how he let some stranger make such an important choice for him. The worst part wasn't even that his life was bad or good, but that, in this moment, it almost felt like it wasn't even his to regret. At the end of the night after mostly everyone went home, Karl went on a walk around the city by himself, moderately drunk. He walked down the edge of the city along the harbor. He sat down on the same bench he sat on many years ago facing the water He sat back in the bench looked up at the stars, closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply. Suddenly, an old man poked Karl in the shoulder. Karl, disoriented, opened his eyes to an old man standing above him. Before Karl could say anything, the old man asked if he was okay. Karl having realized he must have passed out told the man he was okay; he just fell asleep. The old man sat on the bench a few feet away, as he explained to Karl how it was unsafe to fall asleep in such an area "You're likely to get robbed or something." he said. Karl agreed and said it was an accident. He explained to the old man that he hadn't been able to get much sleep the last several days, because he had been trying to make the decision about whether or not he would be moving to Australia. Karl explained the situation about the business, his best friend, his girlfriend, his father and everything else as he did, Karl felt a weird sense of clarity. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he almost felt like he knew what each decision would be like, like he had already lived them. But yet, despite this, he still had no clue which one was better. While Karl was thinking about this, suddenly the old man interrupted. "What if you just decide right now based on what I choose, someone who basically doesn't know you at all? It'll be like flipping a coin but the coin has a brain and understands the situation a little." Karl thought for a moment and then politely said, "No, I think I need to decide for myself. Thank you, though." "I thought you said you couldn't figure out which choice was right?" said the old man. "How are you gonna get past that?" "I guess I'm not" replied Karl. "I spent the last week trying to figure out which choice was right, but maybe there isn't a right choice. Maybe there's just a choice." "What do you mean by that?", interrupted the old man. "Maybe some decisions aren't hard because there's a better option, but because there isn't one. This whole time, I've been worried about regretting my choice by choosing the wrong thing, as if I could even know what I'm regretting. Regret would mean there was a right choice and I made the wrong one, but how could there be a wrong one? The only thing I can know is that on the other side of the decision, I'll be there. And if I'm there, no matter what path I go, there'll always be something to love and there'll always be something to dread, and the only thing to regret would be not making the decision for myself. If you pick it, if anyone else picks it, if I leave it up to chance, it'll never be mine, or at least, it won't feel like it." "So how do you suppose you choose now?" "I guess I do my best, pick one, and move on." replied Karl. "It won't be chance, it won't be certainty. It'll be somewhere in between, and it'll be the right choice." "So," said the old man with a continued smile, "which are you going to choose?" This video was sponsored by Blinkist. Blinkist is a book summary service that provides overviews and essential takeaways from thousands of non-fiction books. By condensing complete books down to around 15 minute audio and written summaries, Blinkist makes it easy to ingest the key ideas and frameworks of a book in a short, convenient amount of time. 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TL:DW, You'll never know what choices were right or wrong, and they all come with things to love and dread. The important thing is that you decide for yourself, and own that choice. You'll never figure out what you missed out on, so there's no reason to regret.
It's a interesting story, enjoyed listening to it. Though I don't see the comparison to Watts' lectures.
Thanks, I needed this.
I love Pursuit of Wonder