The Nightman Cometh Live!

oh my God it's 5:30 can guys you shake your hand why are you here at 5:30 because you're here at 5 530 was the plan God damn we don't go on for 4 hours nice sign your hand yeah I don't have anything GRE [Applause] if we didn't have the fans we wouldn't be able to go on the air and uh so we owe it all to them always I think the day Man episode is my favorite where they start the the one where they were doing the play that's this one that's this one that's this one the night man commit yes see hilarious little boy baby boy shiny boy I love you baby boy tiny boy I love you boy our 18-month old son sings day man with us thank you so [Applause] [Music] much stage she always old to the fans it's going to be fun to be with them tonight you still get the Jitters at all or no well I don't think I'm going to get them for this because it's really ridiculous oh yeah 99 years old baby 99 never 99 years old still getting a [Music] b I'm thinking about how many teacher here how many [ __ ] given on this couch they've done a really good job with the sunum STS I don't really see very many maybe they repl oh yeah there's just blow and jizz and c and farts and [ __ ] all over this thing shit's from the butt [ __ ] hi DVD it's exciting because uh you know it's just the first uh Always Sunny in Philadelphia live show trador has got such a history it's like a treat to be here [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] got to the to baby get in the [Applause] bo [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] wo [Applause] [Music] [Music] mus [Applause] W [Applause] [Music] [Applause] boys [Applause] what uh what you doing I wrote a musical huh what I wrot a musical dude you uh you wrote a musical yeah why why would you do that why just right musical I don't think there's got to be a reason right no I think there does have to be a reason no one writes a musical for no reason that doesn't make any sense all right well this guy did so there you go okay yeah no no yeah I see what's going on here who's the uh who's the target who's the mark yeah you which angle are you got have an angle angle I I don't have an angle you got to have an angle what do you mean you have an angle yeah yeah well whose face are we shoving this musical in right you don't shove a musical in someone I think what we all want to know is who verses who's it again I see what's going on here you guys are going to turn into one of these things where we're going to do it against someone and it's going to be about screwing people you know what I wrote a musical just to write a musical okay but if you guys don't want to be in it and you know you don't give a [ __ ] about it I can always find other people to play your parts don't be stupid no no no no no no no Hey listen man I think we're just trying to wrap our heads around this there's no reason to go giving away our parts don't give our parts away we're going to do the musical do it what's it called yeah the night man [Applause] [Music] cometh all right gather around gather around everybody gather around here please guys down front quick reversal all right do you feel the magic magic all right now you guys all know Artemis right Aris was kind enough to book this fine local theater for US ah thank you AR it's a beautiful place she also transcribed my work into a format that you might consider more legible and uh also more literate because she put words to it so that's great all right d thank you no interruptions now thank you oh uh right off the bat here here bro I see there's a cast list um there's a lead boy character who's going to be playing that role that's going to be ma what oh yeah lead up course who's going to be playing the day man that's also Mac what yeah the lead boy becomes the day man when he defeats the night man that's you two parts no oh yeah two parts wait a minute dude we wrote that song Together how could you get that part away not two there one part the kids come two part who's who's playing the troll guy that's going to be you dude I'm playing the troll guy who the who the hell else would play The Troll bro I like that I figured you might can I do it naked no no one would like that why do you want to be naked because in the 70s everybody did musicals and they always were naked and they always got laid all right well it's not the 70s and I don't think you're going to be getting laid okay so keep clothes on Frank thank you okay Charlie baby what is this play about I'm a princess who lives in a coffee shop you work in a coffee shop you don't read it closer well why am I in love with a little boy you're in love with a young man de you wrote little boy well man boy it's a metaphor yeah well you know what the audience is going to think I'm a child molester I'm not cool with that so I'm probably going to change it up a little little bit I've changed my mind I'm playing the night man what yeah yeah why would you want to play the night man the night man's badass dude he has the eyes of a cat and does karate across the stage karate where did you write karate in the script he doesn't do karate yeah no I made that up but it's going to be great man oh [ __ ] oh you know what that's great because that frees up the lead boy roll in the day man roll I'll play both of those switching rolls man don't switch rolls on me we're going to switch rolls you got a guy that does cat eyes I'm already on it um my God all right let's just start the first rehearsal come on we got to just start rehearsing let's go screw [Music] it hey one two three one two [Music] three okay hold on a second hold on a second Char what the [ __ ] fck are you kidding me what tiny boy little boy baby boy yes you want me to say that I want to make love to a little tiny baby boy and I've explained to you that I'm talking about the spirit of this boy is the man who's like a little boy okay that's a metaphor de yeah I know you keep using the word metaphor but I am not convinced that you have any idea what it means come on also just while we're talking about it it says that I'm supposed to kiss Dennis at the end and that is not going to happen yeah yeah I take issue with that man she's my sister that's [ __ ] gross that's why I didn't want you playing the boy bro okay uh what if it's just a sexually charged Embrace I don't want you talking to the talent okay I'm going to handle the talent you know if you guys don't like the song I'll cut the song Thank You wa no what are you doing no don't cut the song I love the that's a great song I want to sing it D this is what's going to happen you're going to apologize well I'm not going to do that because he wants me to bang this baby and I'm not comfortable okay you know what I think it's a bad idea to cut the song thanks arus thanks okay but let me talk to can you just you know Dennis can I talk to you for a second here yeah yeah yeah yeah can you take a five bro yeah here's the thing though man I don't want to cut the song Because I cut the song I Love the song I need you to take a five a five minutes though can you have five minutes only five I want five minutes when you say five you well you're taking five over there man half a five minutes why are you yelling at me you're working me up all right d the song's history really we don't have to do it thank you very much cuz you can see how that's weird right okay so what are we going to sing instead what am I going to sing uh what's on the what's in the back there it's the same song I'm me the very very back all the way back there nothing oh good you can sing that come on this is like my big song Char like everybody gets a song why don't I help you write a new one to write new songs for like you oh I'm sorry de let me try and remember something here now did De write a musical and bring it to Charlie no Charlie wrote a musical and brought it to D in The Gang and the Gang lies the screw Char over and make it about themselves okay okay so like you know I I tell you what I could do I could cut the song okay because I wrote it all right I could have arguments to the song okay because you didn't write it no or I could strap on a wig and do the song myself so you tell me Little Miss all that what's it going to be pleas song or no [Music] [Applause] song song song yeah you want to sing a song all right good sing a song wasn't going to sing I know you never Den what are you doing over there man what are you doing uh I'm eating baby Snickers because you've made me very uncomfortable well I didn't you she works me up come on can you just untable he hasn't put me up the A and I don't want to be here like so look just come on stage and we'll do the musical the way it's written what if I just throw a couple of different you're taking a 30 you're taking a 30 all the way up there Frank we're doing your number let's go yeah let's go over here right here bro you got to pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole you got to pay the troll if you want this baby boys ho you got to pay the troll to you got to pay the troll to get all Frank let me stop you for a second there I like what you're doing it's sounds to me though like you're saying boy whole and clearly it's soul and aremis you did write Soul right I did write Soul want to the troll toll to get into this boy's hole got to pay the troll toll get when you drag the S like that it sounds like you're are you towing gum yeah I said I said no gum everybody need your gum unprofessional give me the gum give me the gum Frank Charlie can I bring something up yeah I think we have to be really careful how we do the rape scene yes yeah it's very very very what rap there's no rape scene in the musical that's a sensitive subject what are you talking what are you talking about what rape scene the the rape the rape scene in act two where I I pay the toll to Frank and then I rape Dennis what's in here you don't rape him you become him why is raped him he nobody seems to get this he doesn't rape him look it's so simple when you come into the room you're going after that boy's Soul okay so you cross over the stage come over here to get a soul and I'll be as I'll be asleep on the bed you lay back oh I answer here and cross the stage yes cross the stage I feel like I'm going to do a clinic for everybody sort of showcase some of my Marti I'd rather I'd rather you didn't I'd rather you didn't do that I'll get to this point here I really feel like the people are going to want to see that I don't know when I get to this point here I'm going to pounce on him like a cat ready I I I'll add a line here I'll add a line here ready meow no man no all right fine Jesus Christ leave it to that dude all right once he gets near you you sense him bro you start to sense him how do I sense him like a wild wild animal about to get rap all right this is why I don't want you talking to Talent stop saying rape everybody Charlie this would be great Frank you want to take that blanket throw it over us and then that why you can't see the penetration from the audience yes yes dude that's what we'll do that's going to lay some of your fears Charlie because with the blanket that'll make the raping see I'm sorry the sexing from behind feel a little bit more classy okay so here's what I'll do is I'll I'll pin his leg up like this and then I I I'll fire into you and you and then I'll scream you guys I'm like there I'm like way past where I thought I could ever go you know and I don't no one's going to enjoy that you know what I'm taking a walk I got to take a walk'll I'm taking a walk you know what there's no point there's no point in you doing this to me right now if Charlie's is not going to watch that's kind of the whole point I want him to see it you're [Music] right oh my God you scared me oh my God S I dropped like a $100 bill around here some really $100 anywhere yeah what are you doing walking here is this one of your walking places I have mace okay don't spray I know what you have oh my God uh check it out this is crazy um I got a free ticket for you to see a musical that I wrote yeah wow oh wow a free a free tick for app PL that you wrote I don't want to go see that you don't want I don't want to see that you want to see it all right hang on a second uh you know let's try bargaining let's try oh please yes let's see what you have to bargain try this one on precise if you come and you see this musical uhhuh I will leave you alone like for the rest of your life really yeah so you're not going to follow me home now or ever and you're not going to look in my windows when I'm changing and you're not going to have the emergency room call me at 3 in the morning and tell me that oh you've been in a terrible car accident and I should hurry there well it was really great that you came that was awesome you listed me as your emergency contact I consider you my emergency contact I have to go hang on a second you're always rushing off and I'm trying to um I'm like I'm this is like this is I'm I'm trying something's telling me not to give up and like like so I'm I'm thinking I'm thinking this is like the last straw like if you come and see this musical I'll leave you I'm like a ghost I won't come to the coffee shop you're never going to see me again like this is I'm that's how serious I am oh my God that would be so amazing I I this is it this is like the last TRW right here time for the if you take the ticket he nice you're not going to regret it oh I regret it already all [Applause] right I was I was going that way yeah because that's my way well I got to go all the way around the block now that doesn't make a sense M all right I'm going I'm [Music] [Applause] [Music] going yo Charlie what what's going on dude I'm not ready to start when are we going to start I'm going to start when I'm ready to start people have been waiting here for 20 minutes people Li they came they paid they're not going to go anywhere I just oh my God she's here she's here she I can't believe she came she's here okay gathering in guys right down front hey guys gathering in I want you guys to meet glattus right Artemis can you bring in glattus for a second bring in glattus okay this is glattus okay this is glattus all right now I know she looks a lot like Ria Perman but she's glattus okay now now glattus is going to be in charge of all the lighting and music cues in the show all right so relax she's got it covered she's like a hundred years old that's oh my God I I forgot to tell you Calvin coolage was a good friend of mine okay he didn't forget to tell me you been tell me the Calvin Co story all morning all right so how many times like a 100 times okay so at a certain point in each no shush me no you're to when you okay you know what AR I don't have time for this get her up in the booth get her up in Theo glce this way way get her go now Charlie a couple of last minute things I love the song that you wrote for me I'm going to add a line at the end of it what yeah it's going to sum up the whole play for me the the crowd's going to love dude you're so is perfect don't I got to go pop my cat eyes in bro I don't want you wearing cat eyes why is oh Charlie me too a couple of quick things I can't really move my arm so well in this so I might rip the pits do not rip that costume it's a rental okay well uh one other thing I wrote a song I'm going to throw it in I think you're going to love it do not add you're going to have to trust me on this who throws in you're going to love it Charlie I'm going to do it anyway okay I will smack your face off of your face I'll smack it off what oh no dude what's up with you bro ah [ __ ] man what's wrong I don't feel good dude I don't feel good at all man I don't feel good at all because you've been eating baby Snickers yeah man I begged you man I begged you not to eat babysit yeah but it's the only thing I'm so nervous man I don't know what I'm doing you're going to be fine man you just got to power through the Snicker my stomach hurts and I don't think I'm going to be fine man I can't like um remember my L lines J I can't remember my lines dude all right look Frank will just feed you your lines and you'll be good hey okay do me a favor don't start the show I have to start the show don't start the show the people will leave I don't know my lines you got to figure it out you got to figure it out AR start the show oh [ __ ] pleas a come on man thank you thank you hello one and all and welcome no and welcome to tonight's production of the night man comes thank you my name is emis dubis and yes and I am the co-director of this production you're the assistant director notor I'm the co- director you know I have always longed for a life in a theater in fact I come from a long line of thesbian and when I was a little child I remember my father Big Daddy du why are you Hamming it up just tell about the fire in the cell right okay everybody please turn off your cell phones don't take any photos with flash or somebody will come and take your camera also when the fire starts if the fire starts don't say when the fire starts you're going to freak them out if the fire starts I need everybody to run patiently to the exits don't tell them either side of the stage so do not start they waited long enough start it okay and everybody Welcome without any further Ado we present to you the night man [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] com boy my tozy Wy Wes itchy witchy witchy come and scratch them boy I said my toy Wy Wy itchy witchy come and scratch him boy Dennis come and scratch my toes you're making me look like an [ __ ] ah [ __ ] scratch you got a line line speak yeah yeah uh uh you oh uh you master your toes are for oh I'm your toes are my toes can be itched all day you idiot a [ __ ] go ahead speak say your y um I am a foolish boy I am not a boy you are a boy I am a boy you're a boy I'm a boy not the music what just go over [Music] there I got a troll in my hole that's [Music] right my hole of an apartment I control your soul that's my department everywhere there's troll living living in your home right up make eat their mes make you rub their fat rolls scub their and all of this and more I got a TR I got to troll in my hole my hole of an apartment I controlling Soul that's my department everywhere there's strolls living in your [ __ ] hole sh eat their BS make you rub their fat rolls make you scrub their B this and more he's got a troll in his [Music] [Applause] [Music] cold the back in the came [Music] out what is the strange feeling [Music] [Applause] I feel so strange inside it's so strange but appealing I feel goody [Music] boy want you boy if I was that boy up inside of you tiny boy little boy [Music] if was that Bo that's [Music] inside oh [Music] boy [Music] [Applause] [Music] just to be clear I did not write that song and have never had sex with a child or or anything like that just to be clear I am a more experienced actor and that should be taken into account during your applause at the end oh also most men find me to be an eight or nine out of [Music] 10 and I happen to be available to any interested men who' like to get my number after the show HIV test [Music] [Applause] preferred you goddamn [ __ ] you're not going to have a face by the time I'm done with [Music] you [Music] you came at the right time did you bring the toll and found your lousy toll troll got to pay the troll to you get in this Bo hole you got to pay the troll to to get in if you want this baby boys ho you got to pay the troll to you got to pay the troll to get here troll what you say troll hey hey hey [Music] TR here's your toll troll your boy awaits last the boy's soul is mine that hole P your eyes on [Applause] [Music] this here boy give me that [Music] hole [Music] [Applause] no are you [ __ ] hard huh don't don't ruin it don't ruin it what do you mean don't ruin it huh [ __ ] was [Applause] [Music] that yeah I'm right up tonight man you think I'm just the bad guy you don't know [ __ ] you don't know [ __ ] about me I wrote a little song so you can understand why I do the things I do a little bit more better it's called nature [ __ ] [Applause] happens some people are born skinny some people are born fat some people are born evil with the eyes of a [Applause] cat it's nature [ __ ] happens there's nothing you can do for what made Jeffrey D or Hitler hate the Jews it's nature [ __ ] happens there's nothing to be done kot committed genocide do beter killed for fun fun why does everybody hate me when will it all pass I'm going to bend over so you can kiss my ball thank y sh happen God made me what I am just like Charlie Manson Michael Moore and Son of Sam it's nature [ __ ] happens I'm not trying to be COI that's just the way God made me [ __ ] that's why I saw a my that Bo [Applause] [Music] oh well here I am again alone in my lonely room it's the next night it's not the same night as what you just saw that was there was a whole day that happened but you didn't see that day well it was a lot of the same stuff you know a lot of like rubbing rolls and eating mol and scrubbing the trolls bowls h mean old nasty troll but I don't know tonight feels different somehow I don't know what it is I suppose the night man will be here soon I sure don't like the night man I don't know something I feel like and I don't know what but something is about to change night manare sneaky and mean spider inside my dreams I think I love you you make me want to cry you make me want to die I love you I you I love you I you I love you night P me down with your strong hands you pin me down and I try to fight you Cal inside me and build me up and I become the night man the spirit of the night man fills me up and I become him just two men sharing the night it might seem but it's just right it's just two men sharing each other it's just two men like love and brothers one on top one on bottom one inside and one is out one is screaming he's so happy other screaming passionate feeling so and right man feeling so and right I can't fight you down [Applause] [Music] your [Music] the yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [Music] [Applause] yeah the passionate passionate [Music] [Applause] nightmare no something needs to change I must kill the night [Music] [Music] man I got another richy Witchy Witch on my toy Wy wo boy come and scratch it boy no no yes boy come and scratch my toone no Antonio I control you and your soul come and scratch my toes boy yeah you don't control [ __ ] [Applause] Antonio you know why cuz I'm not a boy anymore I'm a [Applause] [Music] man see I was transformed by the strong and musky power of true love and now [Applause] now I am the day [Applause] [Music] [Applause] man what the [ __ ] is that you know what it is [ __ ] bang bang bang bang bang bang click click click click ah [ __ ] I thought I had more [Music] bullets now there's only one last thing to take care of [Music] [Applause] [Music] what's up [Applause] [ __ ] where's the boy boy's [Music] gone you can't tell me what to do I didn't tell you what to do you're skipping a line you can't tell me what to do [ __ ] skipping this the same line Dennis listen here H day man I'm totally going to kick your ass you know what man I am the ruler of Darkness I am the master of light I'm the day [Music] man whatever [ __ ] I'll give you some whatever [ __ ] don't tell me when and [Music] [Applause] not like sweep wh wh get hello to this no no yes no not my heart [Music] [Music] yes [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] baby oh I see you have defeated the evil that was here yeah naturally I'm the day man [Applause] well once you were a boy but now you have become a man and now I am in love with you you got that right and guess what I'm in love with you I am Darkness master of word and song you are the teacher of and Man winner of contest near and far a fighter of the night man champion of the sun [Music] k Master [Music] k oh the night out the sun you're master of Kate friendship for [Music] [Applause] everyone stay [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] I was that little boy that little baby boy was me I once was a boy but now I have a man I fought the night man lived his day man now I'm here to ask for your hand so if you want to marry man will you marry me will you come all St to join me in the single maton please say yes and do not me please [Music] just watch you come on the stage and join me sing I back why don't you Mar why don't [Music] [Applause] you [Music] so come and don't say no I please say yes and please don't talk for me oh I don't you [Music] [Applause] Mar [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] up is it over huh is the play finished uh yeah it's okay good well then I'm out of here well hang on a second is it a yes is it a is it a yes Charlie will I marry you no no no no no no I will never marry you and not only that but I kept up the my end of the bargain so I never have to see you again no I hang on to say there's a have a drink there was like a whole music enough drinks to have this drinks I'm just trying to I'm just trying to get it straight you are saying no oh I'm saying no oh I'm definitely definitely saying no booty you all right um well I never signed anything so I'll probably see around the coffee shop pretty soon all right all right this play was stupid and you're all stupid for liking it it's all right oh my God well that's that didn't go how I expected it it was good it was a great music was great yeah and you did a great job and she's not worth it you see that uh that that douchebag from The Wonder Years came and yeah that was awesome that was awesome that's worth it there I just would like we should do a bow I just I just want to point out let's do a bow Take a Bow Take a Bow all right all [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] right [Music] [Applause] [Music] W [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] yeah [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] of you're the master of [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] for [Applause] oh short is this your first taste of rock stardom um no what else uh I had a little band did you really back in the uh '90s what' you do uh I played bass guitar oh yep what they called Pearl Jam is that right yep you throwing out or at what point did you part with no still together putting on out okay sir but another band took that same name huh some other band took that same name where who student named MD veter no he's my band he's my he's the Le good friend no a different Eddie better this guy's like Eddie better from Torrance he's also from torren yeah he's also from Torrance that's him but this band's like Global like I you know how you guys play like BFW lodges and and church groups and stuff they love us these guys like if you go into a bar and look at a juke box there will be band called Pro right it's a different one you're not in you should check them out

Channel: UhuruVideos

Views: 1,858,930

Keywords: philadelphia, always, sunny, the, nightman, cometh, live

Id: 5_JnWCwz0Ak

Length: 50min 16sec (3016 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 11 2013