[whimpers] Give me this! You won't fuckin'... [whimpers] Nnneeaoowww! Reeaaaooww... [sobs] Reeaaaooww! [fart sound FX] [laughs] "Good morning!" "Morning!" "Good morning!" "Oh, and in case I don't see you, good
afternoon, good evening, and good night!" Hohohohohoho! Woo-hoohoohoohoohoohoo! Woah! Hohohohohohoho! Oh! [laughs] Who’s house is this? Is this my house? Let me give it a check. [doorbell rings FX] Anybody in there? Hello? Can you hear me? Let me give it one more check. Come on, open the door,
[voice cracks] I’m here! That was a voice in the first ten seconds. [sparkling sound FX] It’s not bad, it’s not bad at all! I mean I kind of feel like a dickhead,
just by the way that I’m dressed, but you know whatever. Ooh Refrigerator! Stove! Oh yes, I love stoves! Sink! Oh... Oh my god! I can’t believe it! Ooh, this is a nice bathroom. Spacious, comfortable,
I could utilize this. Toilet! Shower, and sink. Does this sink work too? What do you think, should we try it? It does. I feel pretty good! But that could change
really really quickly. I’ll look into this one here. Take care of me, don’t fuck around. You’ve got three streams to do this. Welcome to the Dollhouse, though. Got a few things you might need
to take care of, I’ve got a few needs. I just saw somebody said starve him. I want that person timed out for an hour. Hey Jerry! Do I have to wear all this shit
the whole time, by the way? Do I have to wear this shit the whole time? I’m like, I’m like on fire right now. This helmet is like—this
helmet is like making me sweat. What happens is— [fart sound FX] [laughs] I got a really bad migraine that’s
making me, I don’t want to go that way, I want to go back in the bathroom. What am I doing? I’m gonna take a jog. For what? Why? I don’t—I don’t jog. Okay, I’m going— I didn’t even lock the front door. I didn’t even lock the door. I got to lock the door; somebody lock the door. Why am I doing this? I don’t want to fucking go here. What the fuck. There are cars on this road. There are cars on this street! Alright, when can I stop doing this? I’m going back in. I’m not wearing that helmet either. Just as he’s about to enter,
he exits again and says [laughs] Anybody in here? I’m gonna have to get—I’m gonna
have to get an electrician to look at that. Can I—can I go? No? Why can I not? That one doesn’t do anything. Why? I—I—Why am I going outside? Why am I going outside,
what are you doing? I don’t want to go outsi—It’s
a beautiful day out here, wow. Look at those birds! Look at these flowers! [sneezes] They’re beautiful! I smell so bad! Take care of me, for god’s sake! [laughs] I’m sweating through my clothes. And I mean that in like
in real life and in fake life. I really just want to like…
that’s probably… there’s, over here? I think this is—that’s a
good spot right here. [cash register FX] Wow, that was fucking hell… I feel like somebody just punched
me in the face like three times. I feel like, I just—I just had this
weird vision, this weird dream, just like sleep paralysis
demons just surrounding me. Ow my knees… What’s that, what is this? Is this a—a what—what is this a stool? I don’t like that there,
that’s not where that should be. I don’t like that. I don’t like it. But I’ll tell you what I do like,
I like sassy sunglasses. I am disgusting! Someone, please, help me! Can I—Please just put
me into a bathing scenario! I am here washing my hands, desperately! Let—Please, let me bathe! Put me into a scenario
where I can clean my body! I better—I hope nobody comes
over because this actively revolting. What if my mother shows up, huh? What if my mother decides to come in here? You think—you know what’d she say? She’d be disgusted, she would put her
face in the air, and she would run away. No, no, no, no, no, no,
not with the stool there. No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no! Okay, okay,
I guess I have to go to the bathroom now. A large censor bar appears over
Jerma as he goes to the bathroom. He [sighs] [laughs] This is on the stool! Now I’m peeing on the stool! We gotta move the stool,
I don’t want to pee on the stool! [laughs in frustration] [laugh drowns out words] Can I—can I take a shower? Can I just take one? I—I want to. I want to. Right now. I would love to take a shower
right now at this moment. I want to take a shower. Put me in the shower. I’m waiting to go in the shower. I don’t want to go to work,
I want to go in the shower, you know I can’t go in
front of people like this. Oh thank god, are you—is it—am
I—am I going where I think you are? Am I going where I think you’re going? Please tell me you’re going this way. Are you going this way? Please say yes. Don’t make me like, take a shit in
the toilet, I haven’t taken a shit but, you know—you know what I’m saying. Thank god, am I going there? I am going there, thank god! Oh my god they picked it, thank goodness. Thank you! Thank you! Oh, this feels so much better. Hey, look at me! Look at me! ♪ EE ♪ You—make—get—I want food. I want it. I don’t need to go to the
fucking bathroom again. Something’s going on with this toilet. Something’s going on with this toilet! So—okay, alright,
the toilet’s like pissing at me. The toilet is effectively peeing at me,
and um, I didn’t even sit on it! It’s just broken! The toilet’s broken! What the fuck! I didn’t even—I could—I didn’t
have a chance to sit on it! Oh my god! I don’t know how to turn it off! Okay, I think it’s… I think it’s clean. I think it’s good. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. It’s fucking still pissing out. I’ve used this toilet like twice! I don’t know what to do about that,
alright, I’m going over here. What am I gonna do about that! I can’t go to the bathroom,
I need to eat, Make a decision! How am I going to call her
when I don’t have a phone? I’m gonna have to like
scream out the window. I—I need a repairman but
I don’t have a telephone? If anybody in this neighborhood
is a repairman or a repair woman, I could really use your help right now! [dog barks] [laughs] Fuck you, dog! I don’t have a telephone but if you
could show up that would be fantastic! I’m starving! I haven’t eaten in two days! I haven’t eaten in two days. What the—who’s the—who’s that? I’m feeling faint I
haven’t eaten in two days. I feel fucking terrible. Who’s at the door? Hello? You gotta clogged shitter? Um… I—okay, yeah. I guess, but not really, I didn’t—I haven’t taken a
shit in it since I’ve moved here. Yeah, it’s just spraying water. Oh, well yeah it is, isn’t it! Yes, it is, I haven’t used it so I
don’t know what to do about it. I have no idea what you want,
which is what I’m supposed to do. Does this cost money? How much money does this cost? There’s so much water here. What am I doing? What—you—I—Oh my god. Dude, look over there, don’t’ look. [wheezes] [laughs] Don’t look ov—Don’t look over here! Don’t look over here! In fact, get out! Get out of the room! That’s gonna cost you extra! No—guess— [fart sound FX] [laughs] No! Don’t! What the fuck, I— Is this toilet fixed? I don’t know… Don’t—I did— [laughs] I didn’t want to go in the shower! I—I— Okay, I’m—I’m fine! I’m back—I’m back ready to go! You motherfuckers. I swear to God. Where did you—where did they go! Where is she! I didn’t— I guess—I’m trying, Ow my finger! Just get some… Okay. Ow! Ow, shit! Ow, fuck! Give it a minute. I mean for the love of god; I just want to fucking
have something to eat. Just some food and shit and like
I would—like I feel fucking terrible. And I don’t fucking care! Just fucking not having a good time. I need something to do! Give me something to do! Get this hat off too it’s—it’s
constricting I don’t like it. I don’t care. I’m not happy. I can’t do that! I’m so—I’m so stressed! I’m not doing, Oh I can’t,
I, What’s on me?! What’s on me!? What is that? Did somebody break
into my fucking apartment? Break into my house? I like it, but I… but I don’t like it. I don’t want to sit on a dirty bed,
in a dirty fucking place, okay? I am—Nothing is—I’m not
having a good time at all! At all, and I blame you guys! I blame—it’s your fault
that I don’t feel good. Because you have so many
opportunities to make me feel better! And you—Yeah—and there’s like a
mattress and a stool that I piss on, that’s fantastic, I, Whatever. I don’t even fucking care. Does the toilet even work? I don’t even know. I didn’t want to fucking do
that stupid shit you guys did! Okay, well, it works. And it works so good, it works twice. Fuck off. I don’t care. There, I made the bed for you. Is this any fucking way for me to live? Who, what? Um, who the—who are they? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Get—Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Off the bed! I don’t want a cookie! Get—I’ll—Get that cookie away from me,
I don’t want a cookie. Fucking weirdos. That’s hilarious. Hilarious. Get away from me, I don’t want it. Oh man, What uh, What are you doing? [laughs] What are you doing? What are you— [laughs wheezily] What the fuck are you doing?! Uh, Um, that’s… No. No, no, no, you can’t—you can’t just
take whatever you want out of there. [cash register FX] You can’t just take everything you want! You can’t just take whatever you want. Give me something I could just swing at em! [laughs] What did you do to my front door? I gotta go to work? Why did you—you motherfuckers
broke my front door! I can’t even fix this…
I—I—Why am I still holding the balloon?! Why am I holding the balloon still? I don’t want this! Do I have to go to work? I don’t have to go to work, right? How much money do I have left? This is my—No, no, no,
no—Excuse me, this is my house. I’m like,
why am I hiding outside of my own house? I’m hiding— [laughs] Alright, I’m not fucking—I needed
to eat out of that peanut butter later, now I’m not going to. [laughs] I’m not eating out of that peanut butter! I’m not going to work! I don’t want to go to work. I’m not eating out of that peanut butter; I know I’m supposed
to but I’m not going to. [laughs] I’m fucking telling you right now,
I’m not eating that food. Alright, I’m going to work. Fine. Goodbye. Take this and fucking leave. Whatever,
fucking they’ve taken over my house. I can’t— Wait for me! I’m going to work! Thank you, thanks for the ride. I know it was a little weird, I’m sorry. I know, I just had a lot of shit going on. And I’m sorry that I may have
smelled up your entire car. It’s just—they’re gone already,
but whatever, thank you! I’ll see you again
whenever I go to work again! Mess. Somebody’s gonna have to clean that up. Just wanna let everybody—make
sure that everybody’s aware this, there’s peanut butter
all over the door handles. Um, and it’s actually—like actually gross, so I’m gonna have to figure
out what to do about that, and this is—this is a disaster. Great. Okay. Okay, they’re still here. Um, what’s going on in there? [laughs] That’s funny, there’s just
clowns drinking beer in my house. Yeah, that’s—that’s hilarious. Alright, Don’t—now—out—get—move,
move, move. Out! Out! Out! Am I taking a shower? Am I gonna get in there? I’m getting in? What are you—What’d they say? Am I getting in? Oh, I’m gonna get naked! Okay, get naked! [laughs] I’m in the shower! Please don’t—get the clowns out of here. I think I could like, sense them. I can actually sense the clowns inside. You’re not gonna drink milk out of
the jug. [laughs] [fart sound FX] [laughs] You’re not
gonna drink milk out of the jug, like, that’s just fucking gross. And I don’t even know which one of us
farted, but somebody did—somebody farted. [pasta box rattles] Alright, please,
I’m starving and just—leave me alone. Okay, this is fantastic(!) Alright, get out of the house! Out! You’re out, you’re out! Out! Out! Get out of the house now! Go! Go! You—Let—Help him please,
I won’t even touch him, just get him out! Next time,
I want a stick big enough to swing. That’s—yeah by—I feel good by the way! Thanks for the help, I appreciate it. I think somebody just said Red Andy. [laughs] It’s hot up here! [laughs] Alright—I need to actually like wipe
these down, there’s fucking peanut butter. No, I’m not. No I’m not going to do that. I’m not gonna make a peanut—I’m
not making peanut butter and jelly. No I’m not. He put his hand in that. I’m not gonna eat out of that. He actually put his hands
inside the peanut butter and like, he ate his—with his fingers
and put his hands back in. So I have to eat
it—I’ve—um—they want me to eat—I’m eating a peanut
butter jelly sandwich. [sighs] Ugh. That’s his fing—that’s his thumb. There’s a—that’s a
literal thumb print in here. [sighs] Like I literally—a sitcom
audience just laughed over here. I just heard it. That was revolting. Oh shit, plastic,
plastic, plastic, plastic. Plastic, I know what I could... [sighs] Let's get this out of the way. Why would you cook a
peanut butter sandwich? [music] I'm not cooking. I'm not cooking anything. [music] Who does like a peanut
butter sandwich on the stove? [music] [music] [sighs] I need this bad,
but let's go around the fingerprint. Oh, I can see it. [sighs] [sighs] [music] I'm just gonna have a little. What a sad peanut butter and
jelly sandwich, but there's no jelly, and a clown put his hand in it. This is good, like that. It's really hot in my house. I don't even have air conditioning. [music] [music] I know there's milk in the fridge,
but the clown drank that too directly out of the jug. He ruined everything. He ruined my entire fridge. I didn't use the bathroom. [music] I didn't even sit down. [music] Why is there already something in here? What are you not doing now? [music] [music] [music] [music] I'll pee it. I'll pee it, but I'm not doing that again. [music] I'll pee it. Okay, I'm not going to do the other thing. [music] That feels better. [music] [music] [music] [music] I'm so tired. [music] I'm so fucking tired. what nothing in here i keep waking up to new shit in my house great that's where that goes oh popcorn i love popcorn maker what oh this
is awesome popcorn it's a popcorn maker it creates popcorn out of thin air how much money
do i have i need money what are you guys buying you're buying all this shit what am i gonna
do with the popcorn maker i mean i like it i love it i mean i i love that i love popcorn
baker but um i mean what am i gonna do with this i'm not answering the door i'm literally not i just i don't have to answer
the door i'm not going to let them into the house because like i saw i don't want another
finger in my peanut bar oh come on oh shit it's really oh god damn
it hold on wait a minute i don't know how they got in why are they
allowed in the house all right obviously obviously this uh
this is dangerous what happened what happened what happened what happened somebody's touching my face somebody's on
me somebody told me i'm not getting a piece of pizza with whipped cream on it okay get
the fuck outta here i'm not gonna eat that i'm not going to eat it i'm not going to eat this i don't know what
this is i don't know this is like a kid's school project no get away from why don't
i have permanent clowns take this back okay i don't know what you have but i can't see i can't see i need help with something
please no no i'm not taking a shower i'm hiding the fuse box is back here close the door close the door it's over here somewhere i think i found it
god damn it where is it it's back here in this little
cubby hole ow ow ow ow my fingers oh shit that hurt oh my hand all right out out power's
back on get out out of the house out of the house out of the house out of the house now
out of the house right now now don't come back and you're not invited to the party oh
god christmas time i love christmas this is you have to choose sleep sometimes
guys because this is how you fuck me up for the rest of the week um what the fuck oh phone telephone funny i can
make telephone calls i don't have to scream out my window how does it work hello i don't know how how's the phone hello yes
this is uh control speaking hello yes this is control speaking how is
the spaceship doing i don't know i don't know how to use that what what's in the mail what i got a piece of mail 500 an inheritance 750 dollars i misread i
need my glasses 750 from dear uncle ted no way what an inheritance what did he leave
me his weight set what hello yeah i heard i know i heard about uncle ted
yeah yeah i know he yeah he sent me some uh he
sent me something he sent you anything no yeah i got 750 in an envelope it was a
check but still right he gave what did he give you you got 10 grand that's awesome hell yeah
that's awesome well that's that's sad but you know that's uh yeah i got money oh you
there's a house too wow that's very interesting yeah right in the bed finally the first night
i've actually been able to sleep in the bed it's been a very long that was the mattress
that i that was the mattress that wasn't me that was the mattress it's like the fart stream
it's the fart stream i gotta get comfy hold on ah that was pretty that was not bad for the first
time ever being able to sleep on this bed i didn't have one of those weird sleep paralysis
streams not last night ah what what it looks very broken from what i can tell
hold on am i gonna can i go to work i don't think
i even go to work if you wanted me to i'm going i'm going up the window i'm going out
the window i can't you didn't close the window i'm going out the window yeah i'm going out i feel like that scene in fucking ace ventura
when he's coming out of rhino's ass hey bed bed why does it really have to go in a yard you
have to put everything in the yard well at least i can i'm not climbing back in so send
me the fucking work okay i'm knocking i'm not climbing i'm not going to climb back in
the window i'm going to work this bed is fucked the i i wouldn't i'd rather lie on the dirty
one i'll be honest i can't i i literally don't know something to do out here i thought i'm gonna use the bathroom too i
don't think i could even put this together if i wanted to that's the last part of the day if i hear
another fire i'm coming over there i swear to god oh it's just the bottom all right now
i can no this is a fucking this is a train wreck under but wait this is an air mattress
this is not even bed look at what happened under here what happened under look at this
do you see what i have to deal with right now this is i can't put this together i'm gonna sleep on it like that it's just
absolutely destroyed i don't know if you guys could hear it but it was seriously it was
like it was like an explosion back here like it just fell apart in their hands i can't i gotta pee bad you know it's funny even if i wanted to move
this i wouldn't be able to i'm not going through the window that hurt what do i do help hey
excuse me excuse me help me excuse me help ah right it's so much fun like i would go back in there
but i just don't want to go in the window it could it this actually could be a hat but
i'm not somebody said it could be a toilet seat it's not going to be that i'm not going
to use this as a toilet seat oh it's kind of funny hat this is a funny hat i like it no i still i i got i don't want to get hurt
this is day one what are you doing you want me to run run run away What are you not doing now? [music] [music] [music] [music] I'll pee it. I'll pee it, but I'm not doing that again. [music] I'll pee it. Okay, I'm not going to do the other thing. [music] That feels better. [music] [music] [music] [music] I'm so tired. [music] I'm so fucking tired. I can't get back inside, that's very obvious. This is a nice house. How am I going to get back in here? Run away, I've been walking around
the neighborhood for the last six hours. You know, people have come out
and just looked at me and been like, "What the hell is this guy doing out here?" Seems you have chosen to upgrade the house. And what does that mean? That means that that
is the end of the tutorial. So thank you for playing in
our tutorial version of this game. Hopefully it worked out pretty well. I think it did. Uh... And in two days,
that is where the real game starts. "You paid to end the stream." You paid to end the
tutorial is what you did. But yeah, I'm really, really happy. I really think that everything
worked out pretty well in this kind of tutorial version of the game. So I'm very, very excited. I hope you had fun. We got a lot of data, so we got a lot
of things that we might have to work on and check out and
see how they played out. But for the most part,
I think it was pretty fun. So we'll see. So we'll see with the upgraded
house in a couple of days. With even more wacky, wild stuff.
