The Worst Reality Show of All Time

so I think reality TV can sometimes get a bad rap it's known as the lowest common denominator entertainment lazy cheap exploitative so I want to be clear that the show I'm gonna tell you guys about it's all of those things but what makes this the worst reality show of all time is that it just fails on every imaginable level like the only explanation I have for how a show could fail this horribly is that maybe one of the producers like crossed an old fortune teller woman at local fairground and was cursed for a thousand years the product that was planned was extremely poor but then also nothing went according to plan there was a liability nightmare a total bloodbath just this poorly designed and pointless competition of untested games that even nature itself seemed pitted against I'm Luke tipple this is opposite world [Music] I remember that when they were marketing oppositeworlds they tried to play it up as more than a reality show like it was some kind of experiment this series originally aired on sci-fi channel so they were very much like this isn't some dumb baby reality show this is an academic endeavor the conceit of this show is that they built a house and it split down the middle by a pane of glass one half represents the future and one half represents the distant past so basically like caveman times the contestants are split randomly into two teams epoch goes to the past and chrono starts in the future they don't explain the rationale for who starts where it's just kind of a look of the draw thing I think the idea is we're going to learn from this series what kind of human is in peak performance a caveman from the past or a Brainiac person from the future I'm hoping that alarm bells are already going off in your head for why this does not make any sense as a setup the team that's living in the cave they didn't grow up as cavemen and vice versa so if the idea is that a caveman would be especially fit from their life of hard survival or a future person would be genetically engineered or have some kind of intellectual advantage these these are just normal people in a house I mean it already goes without saying that the future house isn't that futuristic it's just kind of expensive current tech they couldn't go into the future and they don't get around with jetpacks or eat vitamin pills or whatever so with this in mind the game was just kind of obscenely stacked in favor of the team that's in the future it's not like each side of the house has its own unique advantages and disadvantages it's just like yep one team is clean and well rested and well nourished and the other side is eating raw vegetables and sleeping on the ground and the freezing cold and yes it's cold how do you feel cool I told you this show failed at every level so the producers of this series made the call to film in January just outside of New Orleans not only because it's super cheap to film there but because they anticipated warm weather at that time of year even more so than in LA you know it's a trashy reality show they wanted all their sexy young contestants to like take their clothes off and go hot tubbing and stuff like that unfortunately this production was cursed for a thousand years so that particular winter New Orleans was experiencing a really harsh cold snap a lot of the days when they were filming this show the high temperature was like 30 degrees 40 degrees not a big deal except the past side of the house is an uninsulated lean-to of sticks and rot for freezing cold well cold over there oh my goodness it is cold over here freezing cold in here I'm freezing I'm just shivering it to add insult to injury the producers of the show put all the ladies in the past side in these like sexy fur bikinis which I guess that would be fun in the summertime but you can see them visibly shivering I'm like really really cool my toes are going now the shower is an unheated spigot stuck into one of the walls they were provided materials to build a fire but the damp winter weather made it all moost so they couldn't do anything with it it would be nicer if we had a fire going somebody built a damn fire right now because of the weather our fire starting Kinlan was too moist we can't start a fire so it sucks so according to the rules every even-numbered week they have a live elimination round and every odd-numbered week they have a team challenge to determine which team gets to pick which side of the house they're going back to it's phrased like that like you get to choose but obviously the winning team picks future every single time anyway in theory this works pretty well because it gives you extra incentive to function as a team and then you're gonna want to send your weakest players and for the elimination rounds to keep your team strong and try to get the good side of the house but team epoch they started in the past they're so cold they're not getting any sleep at night for food they're being given things like buckets of fish heads why wouldn't they get the whole fish they had a whole fish in the past they give him cold raw vegetables that they could cook if they could start a fire we're eating stale bread and carrots and would often care anymore because we're so cold despite the conceit of the show pretty much every challenge is extremely physical and epochs going in weak and worn down and exhausted his competition lasted for 12 weeks and team epoch started in the past and lost for seven weeks in a row so every week they're going back to the past house just getting progressively more miserable and Haggard as time goes on and widening the gap between the two teams you guys living in the past you guys really haven't ate and much at all so let me give you a rundown of the characters in this show that matter the host Luke tipple looks like a generic dreamboat actor but he identifies himself extremely vaguely as a scientist my name is Luke tipple I'm a scientist and adventurer and for the next six weeks I will be leading you on what will be a perilous journey through time that's how I always introduce myself to I guess Luke tipple originated from Shark Week programming I'm not doubting that he has a science degree but from what I could find online he's a marine biologist and I don't know how that qualifies him to host whatever this is like I said every even-numbered week is a live elimination round and I love watching Luke tipple struggle to fill the air time with awkward small talk and jokes that don't land that's a bit of a David and Goliath thing you guys got going here okay victory and defeat they're really just two sides of the same coin maybe opposite sides of a glass wall if you will Frank you'll have to go after her that's it all right on Team Chronos we have Jeffrey Jeffrey thinks he is this genius mastermind playing everybody in the game right now me and jr. are in a secret alliance you know nobody knows about this but he is very much not that [Music] I don't trust his gameplay bottom line I don't he's constantly trying to do things that he thinks they're duplicitous and clever but everyone on both teams just sees all the way through him he just kind of succeeds in making everyone hate him and then gets really upset about it when he finds out okay well Frank as soon as I saw Frank I identified him as a Minotaur this man has biceps three times the size of his head and the most triangular torso I've ever seen on a human he's just a big dumb lumbering smiley well-meaning monster I'm ready to go dude or a girl I'm ready I'm always ready I live for his job outside of the show is a firefighter so even though I find him terrifying at least he's putting it all to good use you know Rachel gets eliminated like right away so she's not really notable but I just wanted to mention her because she has pink hair and her occupation is listed as professional gamer which I just thought was kind of funny I realized that I guess technically I'm like a youtuber so glasshouses opposite sides of a glass wall if you will Jesse looks like a rich guy that owns a boat and then he uses his boat as his workshop to kidnap people and cut them open and look at their insides like to amuse himself on Team epoch in the past we have junior juniors like this nice easily manipulated good-looking southern boy and he's the fan favorite most weeks and I have to assume that's why there are like three girls and they're all varying shades of blonde and they all seem cool but I honestly can't tell them apart from each other very well and Charles I spent 18 years in the military between the Marine Corps the army and National Guard I have everything necessary to win the competition she's ripped he's a war veteran like he's actually seen combat as soon as you meet Charles you're kind of like okay he's gonna carry the rest of the team now I'd like to talk about the challenges the challenges are basically working off of the theme of has to do with time but the producers of the show seem to only be able to think of medieval times the Wild West and ancient Egypt and they just repeat those periods of time after they've already used them just because they can't think of anything else 90% of the challenges are just straight-up obstacle courses they have one that tries to be the future where they're like driving a robot but they're driving the robot through an obstacle course so but I'd like to tell you about the very first challenge of the entire show week one keep in mind these people have just arrived on the scene like yesterday this is their intro to how the show is gonna go this is the tone setter there is a platform ten feet in the air competitors from either team have to run up the ramp and attempt to knock their opponent off of the platform Oh also each one of you will be armed with one of these okay each team sends in a girl they fight it out so far so good then it's time for each team to send in a guy Chronos sends in Jesse and epoch sends in Charles they've run up the ramp they square off Jesse tackles Charles and they both go over the side he's hurt yeah yeah get Maddox in place they have safety cushions but their narrow and they're placed in such a way that they assume that you're gonna just go to the edge and then gently fall straight down Charles was pushed so he falls ten feet onto the ground below and completely misses the safety cushion he horrifyingly shatters his leg lies on the ground groaning in pain and has to get taken away by an ambulance so there goes Charles that was epochs strongest competitor and he's now been totally taken out of the competition by this dangerous cattle prod fight ten feet in the air but Luke tipple tells us the show must go on so I'm any volunteers I've been everybody's really clamoring to go next I mean who would want to fall off of that platform so it's fair enough fair enough he agreed with them so eventually to get there two girls to go in for the next round it all goes fine the epoch even wins this time which is awesome but James Lauren has injured a finger and he's currently with a man oh my god but hey the good news is Lauren gets to see Charles while she's at the hospital and waiting for Charles oh that's really bad yeah so if you couldn't tell this is my next point about the show being cursed is that this show has so many injuries in the same episode you even have another guy from Team epoch who like gets his fingers all sliced up what he's trying to build a fire look I'm just saying there are a lot of stupid reality shows and most of them involve dangerous things and crazy obstacle courses I have never heard of this many people getting injured on a single season of a show literally none of these challenges feel like they were play tested not only for safety but even just to like test their viability as games not only do we lose the challenge but we lost two of our players Charles and Lauren due to injury it's looking pretty rough for Team epoch but hey here's a pick-me-up it's Charles he's back for a visit just hobbling in with a horrifying full leg casts the whole scene of his visit is so awkward because it's just everyone trying to make conversation like hey are you feeling okay and Charles is like no I'm not I'm doing as well as I can so broken tibia oh yeah two different places what happens now you have surgery yeah kind of feel bad they all say how much they miss him and that they're gonna fight extra hard on his behalf now and it must be pretty cold comfort cuz he only knew these people for like a week to lose him in this experience was was terrible for me because that was my crutch please don't say crutch so they've paraded Charles out to show that there are no hard feelings even though I'd imagine there probably are and then he painstakingly crutches out of the shot and he was gone from the show forever let's jump to week three Luke tipple tells us that our friends at home have been voting online to pick a new competitor for each team team Chronos I want you to welcome mercy team EPOC you're welcome Steve so here comes Steve and mercy it's their very first week in the game and the challenge for this week is one player from each team will be tied to a rack by the opposing team each team has to pick a contestant to essentially be crucified in the middle of this field that player will be safely hoisted up into the air can I just point out that they clearly dubbed the word safely in after the fact that player will be safely hoisted in a totally stone-cold move both teams vote to put their newest contestant on the rack welcome to the team you guys Steve and mercy are trying to be good sports about it and our first impression of Steve is this very mysterious and very suggestive comment I'm a lot of friends I would love to see me tied up like that so for that okay to make it worse their teammates have to race to untie them while members of the opposing team are pelting them with tomatoes the purpose of the tomatoes is clearly to distract the people untying the knots but for whatever reason they keep just lobbying them at the poor people tied spread-eagle to a raft frank is in typical beast mode he's throwing these Tomatoes like 40 miles an hour you can hear them making impact and he hits poor Steve just square in the face fortunately Steve is wearing safety goggles unfortunately this is opposite worlds so the safety goggles are cheap and useless and the impact of the tomato shoves the rim of the plastic into the skin of his face slicing him open making him bleed everywhere and leaving him with a scar that doesn't go away the whole rest of his time on the show and which for all I know is permanent for the rest of his life do reality shows just not get audited for workplace safety now let's look at my personal favorite game I told you that from the beginning of this show I've been referring to Frank as a scary Minotaur well week six team EPOC decides that they really need to take down Frank he is their strongest competition so they decide to send in their tiniest girl player hoping she can get an edge on him in terms of speed and agility we come up to challenge Knight and surprise surprise it's another obstacle course but this obstacle course contains a maze they literally refer to this maze as a labyrinth Frank you must navigate through that labyrinth to win this challenge Frank needs to race through this labyrinth and chase down this much smaller girl and catch her before the time limit runs out the funniest thing about this challenge is that again you can tell they didn't play test it to see if it would actually be evenly stacked between the two competitors they start the clock and it takes Frank 12 seconds to catch Angela 50 seconds it's just slaughter it considering how easy it was for him Frank really rubs in how happy he is to have one for a comfortably long time this is one of the live challenges and since the challenge didn't come close to filling me a lot of time Luke tipple is forced to try to struggle to fill that air time by basically just going up to Angela and pointing out that she lost seemed like you were willing to give up all you could give that was very quick well she looks visibly irritated with him bonus points for his awkward good fighter good luck to you Angela but you are eliminated thanks week 7 they remind the contestants that they hate them by having a challenge where they dig through a giant mountain of horse manure to find explosive charges but I really just wanted to mention week 7 for this moment yeah.well happen to Yuma I was doing a little run in the cave last night and in a friend of mine called this can't be normal this is also the week that team EPOC wins a challenge for the first time ever and now with the show almost over gets to go to the future they also get to steal a team member from Cronus and they obviously pick Frank I have to assume this rule where you get to steal a player was added on the fly after epoch lost so many team members to eliminations and injuries every twist and turn and challenge in this show ranges from aggressively unpleasant to outright dangerous I seriously can't imagine what kind of ironclad contract they had to keep these people living in miserable conditions and under the care of show runners who probably meant well but we're demonstrably too stupid to keep these people safe it's like a bunch of teenagers tried to make a reality show in their backyard you know it safety test anything but me my buddies made a ramp out of plywood another particularly cruel element to the game dynamic is they're really trying to push the Twitter interactivity of this show so they're constantly urging people to tweet their favorite players the fan favorite character every week gets some kind of perk like a spa day or a call home or an advantage in a game and then the least everyone gets punished and this is so funny and like a dystopian way if Twitter decides that you're the least favorite person they literally just deprive you of food you might not eat for 24 hours yeah they just starve you now let's talk outcomes of this academic endeavor we get to the final episode and our players are Sam junior Jeffery and Frank Twitter votes Frank as their favorite player that week which means he gets to skip the semi finals he gets to sit it out and just go straight to the final competition this is pretty good news for Frank because the semi finals are the first intellectually based thing of the entire show it's a trivia contest and you're probably like oh it must be history trivia or stuff about new technology because you know that would make sense with the theme of the show but no it's just trivia about opposite worlds after the worldly challenge where you had to dig for puzzle pieces in 15 tons of horse manure which teams player was granted a reward for being at the top of the Twitter popularity index it's like if in Slumdog Millionaire instead of the questions tying into significant memories they were just kind of like what was your ex-girlfriends name Junior wins so the other two players have to go home and since it's a live round Luke tipple handles it as awkwardly as he usually does okay well congratulations might get this far but you have been eliminated ah so you can life good luck okay now you have been eliminated and you have to leave right now thank you okay final showdown it's junior versus Frank it's anyone's game the first duel was all about brains but to make it to the top of this competition literally you'll need to rely on your brawn oh well it sounds like it's Frank's game the final challenge is basically another obstacle course because why not this one is mostly oriented around scaling a tower you know that thing firefighters are trained to do Frank starts hopping from platform to platform like an enraged Donkey Kong and juniors kind of keeping pace maybe he could still take this oh wait no no um Frank beat him by like a mile you have a first officer world champion congratulations all right we have a winner and we'll go back so here's the thing I already mentioned that Frank is a New York City firefighter and he says he has kids at home - my wife and kids you know I want to sell my kids college education I am genuinely happy and satisfied that Frank won he was always really a beat and he got along with everybody and he was genuinely one of the most likeable people on the show I wasn't too happy about challenging Angelo anyway it was kind of sad I felt bad for her I felt bad for her I don't think it's right for me to go out there to duel was you know sprained ankle so he has the extra legs to help him out I'm really a good genuine guy you know yeah I'm competitive but can I just point out how much Frank winning destroys the entire conceit of the show Frank is a man who's struggled with any remotely intellectually based challenge on the show and often struggles to put words together leave you know cleaning Sudoku I'm not definitely wouldn't I he is the crazy ripped physique of a caveman but he spent the first seven weeks of the show living in the future side of the house with team Chronos then coincidentally he was switched to team EPOC the very first week then they got to live in the future Frank came in fitter than everybody else and then spent 10 of the 12 weeks living in luxury he had the benefits of good nutrition and sleep and cleanliness on his side the show pretended it was going to examine something about human performance and evolution or past versus future brains versus brawn but instead every challenge was just a basic obstacle course where Frank's physical strength put him at a huge advantage in the one challenge where he would have had to carry himself by the merit of his brains alone he won the Twitter vote and he got to sit it out oppositeworlds ran for just one season and in that time it failed in every regard it failed as a show it failed as a game it failed in its most basic obligation to keep it's contestants safe we learned nothing and the guy who won won because he was the biggest beefiest bodybuilder there the little guys had no chance the girls had no chance and to add insult to injury Frank had pure dumb luck on his side every step of the way they only take away you can really have from this is that success is the result of pure aggression and dumb luck which I guess that's fine so that was the story of the first and last season of opposite worlds or I think it's the last one the finale aired in early 2014 but the Wikipedia page is still in present tense and the producers are not willing to admit anywhere that it was cancelled they actually made a casting call website for season two they posted it like a month after the first season aired and it is still active today like I'm not saying go sign up to be on season two of opposite worlds because I don't want to be responsible for you dying but like you could you I know that Charles are sitting at home watching this broadcast and we want you to know that everyone here sends you our best wishes good luck mate

Channel: Jenny Nicholson

Views: 1,938,088

Rating: 4.9331694 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: JKFgn6tNU6w

Length: 25min 43sec (1543 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 06 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/iamanicebutt]

oh my god that tackling in the first episode...

[u/aetius476]

Me @ 0:01 - There's no way in hell I'm watching some girl talk into the camera for a half hour about reality TV

Me @ 25:42 - I need three more seasons of Pippi Longstocking roasting shitty off-brand reality TV, the new season of GoT can wait.

[u/interlink_interlink]

HOW MANY PORGS DOES SHE HAVE?!

[u/Kempiet]

That bloke who broke his leg could sue the show for negligence and gross misconduct. I thought love island was bad..

[u/vladtehimpaler]

"You may not eat for 24 hours."

Wait so I can shitpost on twitter and the result will be that my victim will be deprived of food on top of being abused online. Wtf is this show. Is this even legal? If I was told this shit i would fucking leave.

[u/Corsmos]

"He was my crutch" "Please don't say crutch." Fucking LOL

[u/Alpinix]

Wow. It just keeps getting worse. Wow.

[u/cliftonmarshall]

This video is goddamn hilarious. The Minotaur and the Labyrinth part has me cracking up at my desk I genuinely can't believe this is real or legal but I'm so thankful for this video.

[u/p0wndizz7e]

The Hunk is the only good reality show