THE GOD OF WII FIT

ready fit that's knowing boys welcome back to the Nintendo Wii I know you've seen the last few videos I suck at sports I know I know I really do I've decided you know what I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna purchase something that's gonna take my game up to the absolute next level and so I went out and I purchase something that will fix everything Wii Fit I got the Wii Balance Board baby I only have never used this before but I've never seen anybody play it before the Wii Fit has been something that's kind of escaped the zeitgeist for me but today we're gonna play it we're gonna try and make everything work and hey maybe I'll get in shape for once looks like there's a battery slot I don't know I guess you sync it up kind of like a like a Wii mote I'm actually kind of excited cuz I never played the Wii Fit before and the person on the box is like a full full ass grown woman I get the vibe that this is a very serious application I'm probably gonna be breaking a sweat during this so I'm excited but Before we jump into Wii Fit we gotta make a me obviously you know I have some rotund fellows in the me channel already but I think there's a person who will be primed real estate for Wii Fit someone who really needs it in their life and that person is Amy Schumer I know that's it's funny right Amy Schumer's big she's good yeah she's got a long face right her hair's blond she's got blonde hair yeah that's fits fine it works it works oh oh it's perfect and she never really smiles does she she kind of has like that half smile or like her mouth is slightly open like she needs more air because her respiratory system can't really support the rest of her body there we go perfect there she is there's Amy Schumer maybe she's got some facial things going on oh yeah that's I mean yes yes I'm looking at a picture right now and that that's a hundred percent oh god that's unfortunate short and a little bit stout well there she is a Amy [Music] Schumer we're out of space we're out of space I guess the Me's name is Amy Schumer which is fine by me she could use a little off the TUF anyways well it's a done deal we've got Amy Schumer not only is she fat but she's also a woman and she's also funny jump into Wii Fit with Amy Schumer and lose some ways man that chime really gets me in the mood to to cut some calories it's sad [ __ ] when did they make it sentient oh it talks to me - I'm the Wii Balance but it's like it's like an even shittier version of Clippy or we get started can I do you tell me can you tell me if I have the correct time and date no in fact you're 13 years behind my friend but you know what it is what it is choose one of the Me's below to represent you beautiful where is she yes yes sir she is Amy Schumer I hope we're gonna have to pick her height and weight too in recent years health experts have said that people's posture has been getting worse at an alarming rate there are two main reasons for this trend first the balance between the upper and lower halves of our bodies is all because of lack of exercises weakened muscles second lifestyles and posture habits have made our center of balance worse and uneven lifestyle can even lead to fat accumulation and every day go [ __ ] yourself you think Amy Schumer's got that kind of time now let me show you a few illustrations to explain what I'm talking about this is how a person looks when they stand with more weight on their right leg standing correctly oh my god I've been doing it wrong my whole life long as this weight is distributed equally onto both legs everything is fine if it's not you die that's the next piece of advice that that caliph he's gonna give us she is sue she is such a little piece of [ __ ] look at that look at that [ __ ] eater oh my god I want to I want to beat it up if a person walked up to me that looked like that in real life I would not hesitate to punch it in the face there we go which might tell me your height and date of birth perfect I I want it to be semi accurate right because it might tailor it based on my height and weight so you know what I'm gonna be I'm gonna be correct with this for the record I was born on September 10th 2001 one day before the great accident body test uh-oh as I take a sip of [ __ ] Diet Pepsi step on now all right it's right there what do you mean why can't it see me I'm right here oh oh okay I don't want him son of course silly me right I've got my waterproof Tim's on now nothing can stop me I'm the steel-toe baby you know why they call me Steel Toe because in 1999 I brutally murdered seven women with my Steel Toe timberlands all right step on I'm getting on the body test measures your center balance B and body control before presenting you with your Wii Fit age beautiful okay let's get my self centered beautiful look at me look at me go baby she's big oh my god she's huge oh are you gonna make a joke about your dear little vagina now you're gonna make a little joke about your coochie I've many tests for this but since it's your first day let's start with the basic balance test balance left and right to keep the red bar in the blue area for three seconds I got a balance from left to right three two one beautiful there we go perfect come on come on there we go there we go oh oh that's [ __ ] tough oh yeah there we go you're [ __ ] kidding me how am I supposed to do that you have to shift your weight to kiya yes I don't have time to get that one done I thought that was the end thirty beautiful the amount of times Amy Schumer has ever been funny looks like the basic balance test isn't your fourth what the [ __ ] do you mean the basic balance test isn't my forte now I nailed four out of the five now I'd like to present you with your Wii Fit age your Wii Fit ages onee I use your test results and your actual age to calculate your we fit age your body is much weaker than it should be how did you determine that from a stupid and balanced test dude maybe if I get the juices flowing I'll be fine now let's mark your progression on the calendar with a stamp it's June 30th 2007 I get a foot cuz that's what I'm into they call me the foot man next let's do some exercises to work on areas you want to improve I want to improve my sexual stamina can I do that Sarah is there a Kegel mini-game Sarah one where I get to [ __ ] hot women my goal is to be I want to gain weight I'm trying to I'm trying to be big you know well it's July 2007 and Amy Schumer has begun her sir there's journey of gaining six pounds every two weeks no one said it could be done but she is looking determined is it oh [ __ ] I want that one oh yeah I'm looking forward to working out with you to miss there are four types of exercise in Wii Fit yoga yoga I want yoga deep breathing using this breathing method can help improve your metabolism okay it's it's like 11:00 in the morning watch me I could do that all day don't worry this is sick I feel my metabolism increasing that ass on her oh my god it's she's got a dumpy thank you I broke it right I got 52 points I'm a yoga novice I've always dreamed of being a yoga novice I can finally live out my dream how did you know I have Parkinsons thank you can you suck my dick let's go baby 86 points on the second try that's like 86% alright we're going into the next exercise this is a downward dog it's a Halfmoon stretches your waist muscles and can help improve your posture and digestive health I need that I really need that my inner thighs I'm gonna come by gonna come while doing this I'm on the ceiling I'll do it for you I do it for you we fit trainer I do this for you just know that you know it's doing [ __ ] p90x oh [ __ ] don't just is yoga that you don't know I feel awful doing yoga every day can help align your pelvis and warrior that's what they call me that's what they call me let's try it together alright I'll do it with you Wii Fit trainer anything for you my my goddess do you have a twitch channel I've got a tier 3 sub ready alright here we go my arms for trainer what do I do holy [ __ ] this is tough thank you thank you I'm trying my best uh-huh I'm cheating the game right now my answer I'm cheating the game I'm not I'm a fraud I'm a fraud 80 points that's a B come on I'm the king of yoga I'm the god of yoga the god of Wii Fit next we got to do the tree I love trees and and I hate deforestation and what better way to express my love for trees and by becoming a tree they don't feel Abell feel free leaning on objects or get help from other people there's nobody here there's nobody here it's just me if the Wii Fit lady was real I mean I'm sure she'd be in my basement but you know [ __ ] me [ __ ] namaste I genuinely can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it [ __ ] [ __ ] my wives I'm grabbing the ceiling holy [ __ ] that's [ __ ] difficult holy [ __ ] that's [ __ ] difficult oh she wants me to do the other one is she did she nuts what does she think I made him steal my Stalin I'm not even I'm not even I'm not even pretending to be bad at this for comedic effect I genuinely cannot do it thank you boys I might cheat I might cheat my my foot is just behind my back let's just sit on the floor I'm just a fraud oh god I feel awful about this but there's no way I could have actually done it I feel like she's Stalin and I'm Hitler and I just stabbed her in the back and started invading Russia during the winter all right I did it 53 points maybe we'll unlock into our exercise that I could be good at maybe you set your foot down during the exercise didn't you she knew what the [ __ ] how the [ __ ] did she know that oh you're not gonna happen you're not watching me I put my foot down but I still am in first place and that's what matters I'm a winner maybe they unlock the new yoga post for me when do you unlock more yoga poses oh you know what we'll do strength training next workouts to build muscle that's what I need I need muscle single leg extension I told you how hot you are that's easy oh that's [ __ ] easy I am not good on my left side maybe it's the stims maybe I should take the temp one two one three what do you you can't you can't even [ __ ] kill me [ __ ] you [ __ ] wanna break my we balance board already before I get fit looks like you're not quite strong enough to tackle this exercise yet [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] you I'm gonna kill you marry you oh [ __ ] the push-ups oh boy what the [ __ ] is that now that you've learned this exercise let's do it together I'd be able to if you didn't make me do the [ __ ] tree pose [ __ ] alright alright I gotta do it I gotta do it oh god oh god I can't do it I did some of them at least give me like fun points for that I know you took a break during this exercise you saying well I'll believe you I'll take your word I love you the jackknife oh [ __ ] oh God this is this is gonna get uncomfortable for me and you how did I do oh you've got amazing AB string yes I do that's right last one I'm in a hula hoop you had a good workout and help align your pelvis why is this game care so much about my [ __ ] pelvis all right I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it good thing they call me the human hula-hoop I don't call me that no one's ever called me that [Music] what's going on what the [ __ ] is this what kind of weird-ass dance are they doing dude pull your hips in a circular motion reach the income hoop [ __ ] what the [ __ ] was that why are we throwing Lilith upset me don't throw [ __ ] at me you can tell me there's another one it's Mike goddamn the king I'm the god of bleep it hurts pick these friends No I was an actual workout dude first place baby first place the god of wheat bang the god bleep it oh wow this sucks thanks for watching come back next time when I get do more yoga [Music]

Channel: jschlattLIVE

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Id: uR1wKlVVySs

Length: 17min 21sec (1041 seconds)

Published: Tue May 12 2020