“This, like any story worth telling…
is all about a girl. That girl. The girl next door.” There’s no one as simultaneously
comforting and alluring as the girl next door. Through the decades, this figure
encapsulates her time period’s particular idea of the “perfect woman,” not just in her looks
but also in her deeper nature. “She was the girl I sat up
every night thinking about. And when I'm with her,
I feel happy to be alive.” If we look at iconic examples
of the girl next door in film and TV, we can spot the qualities
that define her: True to her name, she often
lives near the male protagonist. “Well, after all, Winnie was
my next door neighbor.” She’s always been there. The girl next door has usually been
in the boy next door’s life for many years, as a neighbor
or childhood friend. “You and I have been close to each other
for a long time, haven't we? Ever since we were kids.” This familiarity can both inspire
and hinder romance. The boy and girl feel
totally comfortable opening up to each other, but one of them is frequently
friendzoned or overlooked by the other. “I’ve known you forever, but I feel like I’m seeing you
for the first time tonight.” She’s accessible. The girl next door is usually from a
small town or an un-flashy neighborhood. Her personality tends
to be down-to-earth, supportive, and approachable. “You’re such a good listener.” For both her main boy
and her culture at large, the girl next door embodies
an idealized, wholesome femininity. “It's every mother's dream to have
her son marry the girl next door.” She’s often juxtaposed with
a more overtly sexy, glamorous woman. “I'm just jealous because
she's so sexy, and I'm not. I'm just that good old girl next door.” Yet, the girl next door’s story
implies that her innate modesty is part of what makes her special. To paraphrase One Direction, she doesn’t know
how beautiful she really is. “I got news for you. Guys think you're sexy.” Perhaps more explicitly than any other character type, the girl next door is seen
in relation to a boy — the very phrase labels her
based on nearness to him — and this can make her
into someone who doesn’t get to
define herself for herself. "The great thing about MJ is,
when you look in her eyes, you know what kind of man
you want to be.” Here’s our take on the girl next door: what she represents,
what she says about her era, and why it’s time for her
to bust out of the house next door and take control of her own story. If you’re new here,
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joinhoney.com/thetake. “I look for the girl next door. Someone with a good heart,
good personality and looks to match.” The girl next door represents
her time period’s feminine ideal, so in her evolution over the years
we can see what qualities a changing world prizes most in women. The 1940s girl next door
in cinema was defined by her deep humility and self-sacrifice,
which she didn’t even view as sacrifice. “Day after day she worked away, remaking
the old Granville house into a home.” She was the picture
of unconditional acceptance. “So your family's crazy. So you're crazy. That's the way I want you. That’s the why I love you.” Judy Garland’s Esther in 1944’s
Meet Me in St. Louis is defined by her devotion
to her beloved boy next door, “How can I ignore the boy next door?” her family, and her hometown. She and her sisters are devastated at the prospect of moving from
Missouri to New York City, highlighting the girl next door’s
strong connection to her roots. “It's our last dance in St. Louis. I feel like I'm gonna cry." In 1946’s It’s a Wonderful Life, Donna
Reed’s small-town girl next door Mary is also defined by enduring love
for her hometown, Bedford Falls. “l guess l was homesick.” “Homesick? For Bedford Falls?” While Jimmy Stewart’s George dreams of
big adventures and traveling the world, Mary’s ultimate goal is simply
to settle down and start a family right where she grew up. And ultimately the movie is about George
realizing Mary’s outlook was right, “Nice girl, Mary. Kind that'll help you
find the answers, George.” that your community, your family,
and your sense of decency are what truly make a person “rich.” “To my big brother George,
the richest man in town.” The same year, Wilma
in The Best Years of Our Lives also embodied the virtue of wanting
nothing more than a modest existence with the man you love. Wilma stands by her beau even though her family
doesn’t think he’s good enough and marrying him means a much harder
life — a challenge she accepts happily. “I love you. And I'm never going to leave you. Never.” The ‘50s idea of the girl next door was
most iconically embodied by Doris Day, who was the picture
of All-American wholesomeness. [Singing] “Every morning,
every evening, ain’t we got fun”? Despite her huge popularity
in the early 60s, Day’s box-office power faded
later in the decade, as her innocently pure image
began to feel out of step with cultural attitudes increasingly
shaped by the sexual revolution. [Singing] “Hey, I’m Doris Day. I was not brought up that way.”. One of the 1960s’ most influential
girls next door, Gilligan’s Island’s Mary Ann Summers, also revealed the decade’s feeling torn between more traditional
and edgy feminine ideals. The Kansas farm girl
played by Dawn Wells was an innocent ingenue,
based on Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Audiences, both at the time and since,
have fixated on comparing Mary Ann with the other attractive woman
on the island, the sexy starlet Ginger. “I used to be a Girl Scout,
and they teach you a lot!” “I used to go with a Boy Scout,
and they teach you a lot, too.” And significantly, this enduring
“Ginger or Mary Ann?” question has tended to be answered strongly
in favor of Mary Ann, signaling that viewers
(still in the ‘60s and long afterward) have continued to be drawn to the domestically-minded,
down-home kind of girl. “Okay Ginger or Mary Ann?” “Ginger was a bimbo.” “Mary Ann.” 1978’s The Deer Hunter
radically reevaluated the girl next door’s role
in a darkening world. Over the course of the movie,
Linda is involved with two different men in her small, working-class
Pennsylvania town, but the first disappears in Vietnam “He's AWOL. That's all we know.” and the second returns home emotionally scarred by the horrors
he experienced there. “What about your wounds?” “There's nothing. Just the usual complications,
that's all.” Thus, this film examines
the girl next door’s lost innocence and the impossibility of serving
as an always cheerful, supportive domestic goddess in the midst
of national upheaval. “I'll make you a nice sit-down dinner.” “No, I can't.” In the ‘80s, teen movie icon
Molly Ringwald’s girl next door appeal in movies like Pretty in Pink
and Sixteen Candles was expressed as a stylish,
geeky-cool individuality. "Hiya.” “Um, oh, we just got these glasses in." Ringwald’s characters
retained the figure’s relatability, sweetness, and decency,
in contrast to the sometimes cartoonishly unrelatable antagonists
in these films. “Where’d you get your clothes,
five and dime store?” But the sense that Ringwald’s roles
and overall persona were refreshingly unusual
reflected a new emphasis on the girl next door having
a strong sense of self and the courage to be different. ‘80s to ‘90s TV examples
like Winnie on The Wonder Years, DJ on Full House,
Topanga on Boy Meets World, and Laura on Family Matters embodied another new defining quality
of the girl next door: being extremely book smart. “That B+ will be hanging over my head
for the rest of my life.” This development reveals how
greater value was being placed on female intelligence. Yet, even as these characters
were framed as studious or competitive
overachievers, “I have 699 A's. I need one more. Give me the A, Feeny!” they still weren’t allowed to stray
too far from the beaten path when it came to living
a truly unconventional life. “Mr. Feeny said I should go to Yale unless I have
a really good reason not to.” “Well there isn’t any good reason.” “Actually there is.” “Will you marry me?” The ultimate ‘90s girl next door on TV
was Joey from Dawson’s Creek, “You have this amazing
girl-next-door quality.” whose shy, unpolished mannerisms
captured her era’s idea of what it was to be authentic, unpretentious,
and down-to-earth. "If I don't sleep, I get angry. I get irritable and I no longer
maintain my sunny disposition.” Joey also shows a noticeable independent
streak reflecting her times. “I don't even know who I am. I need to find my something.” “So go find it.” “It can't include you, Dawson. It has to be my doing, and mine alone.” The ‘90s and early 2000s increasingly
gave us portraits of the girl next door who wanted more for herself, “I always figured
we'd go to college together.” “Yeah, but Eric, you know
that's not what I want. And who knows? I might want to go to school back East. Or... maybe in Paris.” or who got to stop being
her story’s love interest and step into the spotlight. Another version of My So-Called Life
could easily have cast Angela as the girl next door
to her lovelorn neighbor Brian. But the show grounds us
in her perspective, exploring her interest in departing
from her small, safe life to join an alternative crowd,
date the popular bad boy, and be a rebellious teen. “When Rayanne Graff told me
my hair was holding me back, I had to listen, because she wasn't
just talking about my hair, she was talking about my life.” Freaks and Geeks likewise
followed bookish, square Lindsey feeling the need to go
outside her comfort zone by running with the slackers
in her school. "You mean like a party?" "Lindsay's too lame to let anyone
enter her precious little house." "Sure. Why not? I like parties." Rory on Gilmore Girls also
looks like the classic girl next door. “They kept calling me Mary.” “I can’t believe they still say that.” “Why, what does it mean?” “Mary, like Virgin Mary. It means they think you look
like a goody goody.” But this high school valedictorian prizes her ambition
above any domestic dream. “I want to go to Harvard and study
Journalism and Political Science.” “On your way to being...?” “Christiane Amanpour.” When Rory’s boyfriend Dean extols
the virtues of It’s a Wonderful Life and The Donna Reed Show’s
star Donna Reed, Rory expresses disdain
for old-fashioned gender-roles. “It’s the having to have
the dinner on the table as soon as the husband
gets home, and having to look perfect to do
housework, and the whole concept that her one point in life
is to serve somebody else.” On Friends, Monica functions as a kind
of adult “girl next door” for Chandler — she lives in the apartment next door,
is one of his best friends, and for a long time neither looks
at the other in a romantic light. She even has the girl next door’s
fondness for keeping a spotless home, down-to-earth attitude, and desires
to get married and raise a family. “I want a baby.” But reflecting her time period,
she was an equal partner in the story, and her characterization complemented
the trope’s typical qualities with others like independence,
career ambition, plenty of neuroses, and lots of experience of the real world that keeps her from being
too innocent or pure. "Well, it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many
guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.” Contemporary girls next door have continued to reject the old
confines of this character type. “College, job, husband. The allure of a life rightly lived. That's not me.” While the Betty of Archie Comics was forever pining for and plotting
to win her boy next door Archie, Riverdale’s update to this character moves on from her infatuation
in the first couple of episodes, and her journey is about trying
to understand the darkness going on inside herself. “There's this darkness in me
that's overwhelming sometimes, and I don't know where it comes from.” So in her modern iterations,
the girl next door frequently waves goodbye to her trademark supportive role, claiming the right to put herself first
and chart the course of her own life. “So, what's the plan?” “I have absolutely no idea… but I'm excited to find out.” Seen through the eyes
of her story’s central boy, the girl next door can become a symbol
for womanhood in general. “The girl next door. Mary Jane Watson. The woman I've loved
since before I even liked girls.” Yet frequently in these stories, she represents only half
of womankind. “Maybe you’re too glamorous — take me, I’m more like
the girl who lives next door.” From the beginning, this character has been set up in opposition to another type of woman. Just look at 1948’s A Date with Judy,
where innocent girl next door Judy is contrasted with Elizabeth Taylor’s
bombshell beauty Carol. “It’s a very cute little
swing number, Judy, but frankly I think it’s a bit juvenile
for a senior high school dance.” “Try singing the number slower,
Judy, more seductively.” More broadly, the 1940s girl next door was the polar opposite of the sexual,
scheming femme fatale that rose to prominence
in the same era. The 60s gave us the “Ginger
or Mary Ann” debate, as well as The Graduate’s story
of protagonist Benjamin choosing between his seductive older neighbor
Mrs. Robinson and her sweet daughter Elaine. "I'm not good enough for her
to associate with, am I? I'm not good enough
to even talk about her, am I?” Nancy, the iconic final girl
(and literal girl next door) of 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street, is set up as a wholesome alternative
to her friend Tina, "Glen...not now.” who is sexually active and is
eventually murdered by Freddy Krueger, following the slasher genre’s infamous
tendency to punish teens who have sex. The pilot episode of both
Dawson’s Creek and Riverdale show girls next door Joey and Betty
each being eclipsed by a sexy newcomer from New York City. “What is your problem?” “My problem is that from the moment
little Miss Highlights showed up you haven't said one word to me.” “Crap!” All these examples reveal that
the girl next door trope fits into the deeply ingrained idea that there are two fundamental
categories of women: the seductress men lust after, and the good girl they view
as friend (or wife) material. “You're basically alone on a deserted
island with two readily available women: one a seductive, sex goddess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door
type with a nice butt.” Frequently these show-downs
between the sexy girl and the sweet one end up working out
with the girl next door on top. “You're the first thing for so long
that I've liked.” Joey ends up having her choice between
Dawson and Pacey (plus another guy), while her once-rival,
the cool and sexy Jen, dies of pulmonary congestion. Ultimately, this dichotomy is
an expression of our culture’s unfortunate Madonna-whore complex,
in which all women are seen as either pure, virtuous Madonnas
or sinful sexual beings. "Madonna whore." "You think?" "Absolutely! Trey sees you as his virginal wife,
not a sexual plaything." But obviously real women
don’t divide into these two categories. In The Graduate, the final moment when Ben and Elaine look
uncertain about their future subtly hints that they’re very likely
to fall into the traps of their parents’ dissatisfying
suburban life, which means that the sweet
girl next door Elaine will develop into the seductive,
frustrated older woman. “It’s too late!” “Not for me!” Meanwhile, the boy protagonist’s idealized, youthful impression
of the girl next door can forever put her
on a reductive “purity pedestal.” “You were about 6 years old
when MJ's family moved in next door. When you saw her for the first time,
you grabbed me and said, ‘Is that an angel?’” In Forrest Gump, even as Forrest’s
childhood friend Jenny struggles down a dark, troubled path, Forrest can only ever see her as the
angel she first appeared like to him. “She was like an angel.” And eventually (before
her untimely death) his faith manages to briefly turn her into that classic girl next door-esque
wife and mother. The girl next door often feels like a safe place — a port in a storm
for the male character, when his outside world
becomes too overwhelming. “And you and I feel safe
with each other, we always have.” But the boy next door’s view
of this girl as so perfectly good “You are so perfect.” can make him incapable of seeing
who she really is, in all her complexity and nuance. “You're like the sweet, innocent girl,
and he's a complete dick. I don't get it.” “You know you make me
sound really boring, right, Josh? I'm not that innocent.” “Pfft. Okay.” Narratives both old and new
also can send the troubling message that a girl should be willing to wait
however long it takes until her faithful devotion
is rewarded. Even if her beloved is currently
ignoring or mistreating her. “Where is a little understanding?” “Oh, I understand everything. I'm tired of understanding! All I do is understand!” When we think of the girl next door,
the first thing to come to mind is probably her sweet nature
or our own memories of childhood. But casting this character
in such a flattering sepia light can also obscure the more complicated
aspects of who she is. Take The Wonder Years,
which ran from 1988 to 1993. The show is framed by the now adult
protagonist Kevin reflecting on his youth, including his
girl next door and first love Winnie. “Once upon a time, there was a girl
I knew who lived across the street. Every single thing that ever happened
to me that mattered, in some way, had to do with her.” Setting this story in the ‘60s speaks to the inherent nostalgia
of the girl next door trope. Winnie embodies Kevin’s longing for a golden, "wondrous" past
that's long gone. "Winnie and I made an unspoken
pact that day to stay kids for a little while longer." But actually, there’s a lot more
to Winnie than this. In the pilot episode, her brother
is killed in action in Vietnam, and over the course of the series she also endures her parents’ separation
as a result of losing their son, and is injured in a serious
car accident. And many other girls next door are also
dealing with some kind of tragedy or secret darkness that isn’t
necessarily visible to the world, but eats away at them from the inside. “Were you listening to that?” In recent years, onscreen stories have
started to examine the dangers for characters who unquestioningly buy into this traditional,
unimaginative formula. The Office’s all grown up
“girl next desk” Pam starts the show engaged
to her high-school sweetheart and, despite her talent for art,
dreaming of nothing more than getting married and settling down. "I bought my veil.” But her inertia and tendency
to play it safe (which might have been seen
as virtues in another era) are painted as Pam’s fatal flaws. “It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years being
less happy than I could have been.” Still, like a traditional
girl next door, Pam finds ultimate meaning
in her life by raising a family with the man she truly loves. “I love my boring life.” “Come on!” “Exactly the way it is!” “No!” On Riverdale, Betty is a darker
case study in the internal damage that can result from trying to fit
the messy complexities of who you are into a one-dimensional, oversimplified,
and boring category. “You’re the perfect girl next door.” “I hate that word.” Her belief that she’s
meant to be with Archie isn’t how she feels deep down, but just part of this narrative
she thinks she should live up to. “I think a part of me has been
in love with Archie for 10 years.” “False. You’ve been in love
with the idea of Archie.” And others’ perception of her
as an angelic, rule-following good girl forces her to go to elaborate lengths to liberate her more illicit,
primal emotions. “Why in God's name
do you have this cabaret wig?” “She wears it when
she has sex with Jughead.” Another interesting subversion
of this character type is the mysterious girl next door, who is anything but accessible
or old-fashioned. “Her life had become a series
of unbelievably epic adventures, each one too insane to be true.” Instead, this character sparks
the boy’s interest because she’s so close
yet eludes his understanding. “We find ourselves in the corner
going over the evidence one more time. All to understand those five girls, who, after all these years,
we can't get out of our minds.” This person is still being seen
through a specific, limited male gaze, “I wound up living across the street
from Margo Roth Spiegelman. From the moment I saw her,
I was hopelessly, madly in love.” but the point of the story is often
how much this egocentric observer has failed to really see her
or understand the girl. “You don't even know me.” The 2020 Hulu series Normal People
gives us a girl next door character who’s far from the figure’s polite
and old-fashioned image. "Are you sure we can't
take our clothes off?” “No.” “You were tempted. I tempted you.” The show highlights how powerful
a bond can be between young people who’ve known and understood each other since both their identities
were still forming. But it also emphasizes that
Maryanne’s and Connell’s simultaneous coming of age together
is a messy process. Immature young people still figuring out
who they are as individuals can make reckless mistakes
or hurt each other along the way. "You're pissed off at me." "I don't really care.” 2019 Netflix rom com
Always be My Maybe’s contemporary twist on
the girl-and-boy next door love story focuses on old childhood friends
reconnecting as adults, who live in very different worlds. Yet — like for the couple
in Normal People — Sasha’s and Marcus’s shared history is a key part of what
brings them back together. “It's just like my mom's.” “It's all her recipes. This is what I want to do, Marcus. The kind of food that makes
people feel at home. The way your mom
always made me feel.” What these couples have experienced
of each others’ early family lives, and the way they’ve watched
each other grow up, makes them feel they know each other
better than anyone else could. “Thanks for reminding me how it feels.” “How what feels?” “Home.” All these updates
to the girl next door story illustrate that trying to fit your life into a limited, culturally-prescribed
pop culture mold can hold you back
from unearthing your full potential. For all the girls next door
we see onscreen, it’s safe to say that few women would
describe themselves using this language. To herself, she’s not
the girl next door. She’s just the girl. And the specific adjectives,
quirks, and dreams attached to that identity
should be left up to her. “People have always looked at me
and seen what they wanted to see.”
