The Gambling Episode | TMG - Episode 289

just a light pitter patter to start us off yeah a little ASMR how are you good how are you good um I got a song I want to play yeah um I don't really know how I would start this song I'll call this song hey didn't you hear Cody's doing a charity where he runs what is it a mile per thousand mile per thousand yeah um This song is called we're donating five thousand dollars so you run a five extra five miles wait actually yes who is we are are you serious right now yeah right now yeah wait what is this real or is it yeah actually and everybody go run it up so Cody has to run no Jillian miles go to Cody trains uh YouTube channel where uh Luke can you pull it up and we'll just I'm like gonna cry this is [ __ ] awesome why are you gonna cry well because like we're not like we have two weeks left I really thought that we'd get to 50K pretty easily oh and I'm having a hard time like getting like you know oh no Finish Line here come on now so 5K brings me to 40 miles 40K that's 40 miles let's get Cody to uh can we get a angel investor donor please to donate a hundred million dollars please no don't yeah well I'm yeah that's I'm kind of torn on that yeah because all right so you're at 35 971 now so let's go ahead throw a Fiverr in there we just put 5 000 more on there this is sick because by donating through TMG I guess it's also me donating yeah you ever wanted to you ever wanted to donate to yourself but hey half of it's me yeah that's true a two and a half miles is it yeah I appreciate that I'm gonna think about you during those two and a half miles just for those two and a half just for and then um yeah as soon as you get to 2.5001 yeah you better switch it over dude yeah I'm gonna think about me yeah yeah it goes oh let's go and to be clear if you're really happy about this thing you get over 50 000 you have to run more miles than that right yeah so people should donate what man I wish we had someone come in here and walk in with just a [ __ ] hundred thousand dollar check and you're like okay let's calm down and then we get like another dude in here the hundred thousand dollar check and it just starts should we call Mr Beast you can call Mr Beast oh this would be a great time yo send this to Mr Beast it's a great time to call it out there do not send this to Mr Pizza that's not funny wait wait no no okay again I'm torn because I I do want to raise the most amount of money possible yeah yeah yeah so do send it to Mr B's but you know listen there's a cap on the miles that I'm gonna run you said there was no cap on them when did I say did I say no I asked you on insanely chill I was capping there's no cap dude we're gonna make him run 500 000 yeah you're never you're not gonna get the podcast for a full year because you're just gonna be on Forest Gump mode begin to run back we'll see you in a year dude you have to run so much yeah just doing shitty Zoom episodes or I'm out of breath the entire time where are you at [ __ ] you I still haven't forgiven you thank you guys yeah for sure amazing so now we're at forty one thousand dollars for after school All-Stars that's amazing I really appreciate that thank you guys [Music] [Music] [Music] of the army [Music] [ __ ] [Music] please look at all the signs crashing your seatbelt and get ready for the base foreign thank you guys by the way guys if you don't know why we have the instruments here is because we watched uh all of Matthew McConaughey's six hour live stream six hours yeah what's it called again The Art of Living The Art of Living front to back he came on his big entrance was with a bongo drum so we would and we flipped out some of it and we're gonna watch it we would watch it here but I think that's probably ingested in the copyright system by now so we're gonna hit it in the bonus yep and it is phenomenal so if you want to tune in for that just make sure you hit the bonus episode yeah um yeah yeah I'm just looking at my breakfast over here what do you got you've always got liquids today on liquids today man why liquids shout out Premiere yeah yeah I came in here I freaked everybody out I was like yeah what's up gang I got covered uh everyone uh not this is this going to count as like spreading misinformation I don't want to get us in trouble about what well I was just saying a fun little prank that the folks can play on their friends is going to you know a little Shin dig a little function and immediately after dapping up the first person you see is stating that you have covered how you doing I'm all right I got covered yeah like a couple weeks ago yeah no like like literally this way I just tested positive and then grab their drink that's it from it oh what is this oh man is that that was that gin and tonic keeping it clean and then kiss them on the lips yeah yeah good to see man or say I have coveted and then if you can immediately sneeze yeah [Music] if you can there's got to be someone who can sneeze on command right yeah I don't know that's a good question actually there has to be someone who can just be like yeah watch this oh actually if you squeeze your is there something you can do oh if you smell pepper oh perhaps yeah no the covid thing jam it up your nose that yeah yeah it causes it every single time damn now I'm thinking of stupid ass doing a covet test out of kickback just right there all everyone shot and you're like hold on made conversation you're like yeah I know don't mind me I'm just yeah he'll open the thing jam it up your nose twisting it let's go you might take it what are you doing it's all right 10 times I gotta do it 10 times and then you take out the little thing you drip the fluid in like what oh a couple boogies are you sick man no no I'm just well I might be I might be well we'll see in 15 minutes dude that has to be a new prank kit Auto positive covet test do you leave it I'm like I'm gonna go grab a beer can you keep an eye on that for me make sure no one touches that you just I'll be right back and they're all like do you think he's sick is that a gym I don't know no but you share drinks with them for like I think I see a line yeah you share drinks with them for 10 minutes prior I don't really want this you want hitting there Vape yeah okay I guess on that thank you can I get another hit of that thanks dude mine died you know mine died oh hold on one second what is that dude oh just a little Pfizer thing I don't know a little covet test I've been sick as [ __ ] all day it's got like a little fever or some [ __ ] so just want to make sure I'm good I got a gnarly fever right now oh my head's kind of hot I just want to clear the air you know make sure I'm solid see if I need to dip you're doing it on the table where everyone's pouring up is that's the wave that's hilarious yeah you mine sorry um that would be a great Tick Tock to film like from afar yeah like some dude just taking it out did you see this one taking a kova test in the middle of the kickback taking a covet test in the middle of the kickback did you see this one have you seen this one okay wait I'm gonna send it to Luke remember Bobby Holliday uh gay dude who will walk up to random men and just start hitting on them yeah yeah he's got some new ones oh [ __ ] they're good oh [ __ ] dude one of them had me like rolling send them let's watch it it was three in the morning because I haven't slept before midnight in I don't know years now okay and uh Elena's eye like she has a one eye opener I'm like is that that's [ __ ] funny that's right here watch this real quick yeah ready to go yeah this one is great yeah let it rip [Laughter] here comes the hound dog thank you it's already recording and recording and ready to go we send that to slack threat bro that's crazy I have an open Slack in like at least five years hold on well that's that's not good yeah I haven't opened slack since we left full screen hold on we got a couple Barbie holidays in there [Music] [Music] he said you're gonna stop giggling Biggie oh wait packing up three seconds you're not ready [Music] they want all the dream he's like it was all a drink nice dude they have the audio is terrible coming back dude anyway the whole time the dude just keeps licking his we have to watch the whole thing and he just keeps mocking him just like talking like Biggie and then he just drops the ACT it's hilarious like this is just straight of harassment but it's so funny all right all right all right all right hey guys we're gonna take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode Aura it seems like there's a new data breach in the news every other day in 2022 alone there were over 1800 data breaches that exposed personal information of over 422 million individuals wow victims of data breaches are easy targets for all sorts of cyber crimes even the most tech Advanced companies in social media Telecom and crypto have been breached because of the vast sensitive data they possess yeah whoa Aura is an all-in-one Online safety solution that helps protect you and your family from identity theft financial fraud and online threats before they happen the app scans the dark web to look for your email addresses passwords Social Security numbers and other sensitive information if anything is found you'll receive an alert in real time if you're a victim of ID theft their experienced White Glove fraud Resolution Team will help you navigate credit bureaus help you initiate credit freezes or locks and work with you around the clock to resolve it Aura offers a suite of tools to protect you and your loved ones including real-time alerts on suspicious credit activity computer virus protection parental controls a VPN and a password manager it's a comprehensive Online safety solution that provides almost every tool you'll ever need all in one place Aura also helps reduce annoying Robo calls telemarketers and junk mail by sending takedown requests on your behalf regularly for a limited time ARA is offering our listeners a 14-day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online all for free when you visit aura.com TMG how do you spell that that's aura.com TMG to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones aura.com TMG certain terms apply so be sure to check the site for details he's so good at just making up [ __ ] on the Fly he watches them doing a 7-Eleven and he saw the company he worked for and he goes oh hello you work for Advance the guy's like yeah he goes I'm starting there on Monday and he just starts name dropping like crazy and then the guy's like where you come from he's like I used to work at Tri-State and he's like try okay like he's really just finessing the guy he's like and I'm training you and you can tell the dude's off put he's like yeah he's like what's your name and he's like Victoria [Laughter] just like he's like I'm gonna call you L boogie he's like oh that sounds like a dude name he's like I want you to call me Victoria oh man have you seen the Francesca stugots thing probably but she does she kind of does the same thing but she'll just call up dudes like random guys and be like hey we met in the bar two weeks ago remember me and they're like uh uh uh and she's like oh Francesca's two Gods remember we like took two shots together and you were telling me about your like soccer league and they're like oh yeah oh yeah what's up oh [ __ ] it's so funny every guy like just Falls for it and they're like man sorry I was I was kind of teasing before I definitely remember you when you first called it's so funny like she'll get them to say the most absurd [ __ ] damn it dude and for bran dude I [ __ ] have covet yeah you just gotta slap it out that's how you get it I'm sorry dude I gotta horrible case of covet yeah [Laughter] it's too late for you Ryan I've had it for a week hi yeah dude uh just a bunch of lonely guys it's just like dudes are [ __ ] stupid yeah so dumb yeah you know and single guys are like desperate yeah so they're always like oh like just on the off chance that this is a hot girl that's yeah they're like yeah yeah I'll remember you yeah totally yeah it's really funny oh yeah thanks ow you ever been um Untouched by a woman for a extensive period of time and then you get a call from a stranger and you're like please be you yeah yeah I kind of feel like she usually knows something about them so I kind of feel like fans like send her and they're like hey I met this guy can you yeah pretend to yeah we didn't have to watch it but I wonder if there's going to be a dude that can like reverse it like in the middle he just drops her real name it's like Francesca Oh you mean duh she's like what like we actually did meet last week he told me all about these bits you did what what yeah remember the one that you didn't post and she's like yeah there's that one you didn't post you call that guy yeah he um yeah he's like a professional ice licker it's like the it's like it's like the dude that does like the fake omegles or whatever uh you talk about that guy oh the doer it's like it Cycles through yeah and then it's him whoa whoa yeah and then he'll like run out of the back room yeah that's so good that's such a good prank it's genius yeah I think I I've mentioned this before back in the day we used to like take one of our friends and like we put them on like Omegle and be a girl and then you know the the dudes would be all happy whoa and me and other people other dudes are crowded and be like yay yeah this is the guy I really yo shout out Ness [Laughter] if you're seeing this shout out you man this is a good bit this is a good bit yeah you're here you're killing it man this bit is hilarious man yeah the bit you do creepy bald guy yeah that's that's a good bit Ness three hours a three hour compilation dude and he did it for three hours to do this live is hysterical man [ __ ] how does he do it let's see it but like I'm saying like you've seen the ones where it like shifts to a different person entirely and then he runs in the back does he pre-record those yeah they just piping it all through oh yes I guess that makes sense these frames man that's the whole video right there that's it I love your guys's energy it is definitely a Vibe I love yours thanks I well I have been around scary yo what up hello [Music] [Laughter] it's so [ __ ] good you're that middle one with the giant rack dude click on that one hey okay thanks for the USC no you don't what major what major porn that's my major hilarious yeah good one dude that was funny the Mona Lisa man [Laughter] you know how many people go on Omegle yeah man still not to film content just to go just to be on it's just a vibe that's [ __ ] crazy yeah isn't it mostly kids on there I mean no like clearly this is people of all I mean I guess yeah no remember when we did it yeah ball and that's true yeah yeah what did he the southern guy yeah he had just gotten off work yeah we kept getting him that's how sad the the daytime queue for Omegle is the same nine people yeah during the day man [Laughter] man yesterday I went to the TJ man I get all the deal no where was your show yesterday oh I was I was home oh okay what was the last one SF Vegas oh yeah how was that I don't even know it was it was good it was a interesting venue music venues are always just odd first yeah but the the stage it was it was a good like 25 [ __ ] feet in the air dude the front row I felt so bad that oh damn I'm not exaggerating like chin he could put a ruler from chin to chest and I think it was probably painful to laugh like they're just like and then uh yeah then they had an upper balcony with seats and everyone's the sides were like Turned facing each other so everyone watching the show there was like where was it in Vegas oh House of Blues oh right right yeah yeah rip Palms man I know our Vegas performance doesn't count I know it's sad took it away no they're rebranding it though I think oh look that yeah can you look that up Jarvis I'm actually curious I'll always remember that yeah Candace we walked into that hotel like how much on the [ __ ] you know when you're like walking around the casino and the ax are like displaying on all the TVs it was us everywhere that was like one of the coolest feelings on all the on all the slot machines was it like that for you um no I wasn't all over the casino you're on the TVs oh was I what hotel was it in uh I think it's connected to the Hard Rock oh okay nice and then or it's right next to Mandalay Bay yeah let's go let's go so it counts all right we're still in there no it's just reopened sick oh it's oh no no I was just gonna say uh it's next to Mandalay and it's like connected to Mandalay like the Four Seasons and some other [ __ ] they're all theater at the Ace Hotel oh no that's L.A oh that's Thursday that's Thursday baby I'm coming to that by the way yeah you're gonna see it in action the [ __ ] absolute Terror it's an absolute Clinic I put on this is so corny welcome I'm Dr Noel yeah yeah and I'm about to put on a clinic yeah yo give me uh call the Corner because I'm about to murder this audience uh you know that that's the ad Bongo so it's about time to think of today's episode doordash what's that sound that's the sound of your doordash you're knocking on your door with your food are you missing the syrup for your pancakes or just ran out of your favorite coffee creamer with doordash grocery delivery you can get what you want right when you need it you've trusted doordash to deliver your restaurant favorites and now you can get grocery delivery that actually delivers too with thousands of grocery stores to choose from you'll find the best in your neighborhood you'll get exactly what you ordered or they'll make it right so sit back and enjoy some quality groceries just like you pick them yourself you want even more value let me tell you how you get some more value you can save on all your grocery and restaurant favorites with a zero dollar delivery fee on all eligible orders with a dash pass membership with easy substitutions right in the app and Best in Class customer support doordash delivers groceries exactly how you want it get 50 off your first doordash order up to a ten dollar value when you use code gang at checkout limited time offer in terms of fly that's 50 off up to ten dollars on a fifteen dollar minimum subtotal and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the doordash app in the app store and enter the code don't forget don't don't forget that's code gang for 50 off your first order with doordash yeah nah Vegas is cool I lost three hundred dollars playing a lot popped around the slot machines nice oh dude we watched this lady so it's trying to get on my coveted cows slot machine yeah and always got to keep it Farm themed yeah always more water themed yeah yeah yeah yeah we don't [ __ ] with anything else yeah actually no I went to I went to um one of the Asian uh I don't [ __ ] with the Asian ones yeah okay all right all right yeah that's the Duke coming out sleeping so funny yeah I know I don't play yeah yeah it's [ __ ] symbols on it all right never [Laughter] Asian machine ew whoever's listening to this is the most racist person in the world welcome back to the most racist podcasts online are you one of those radio drops with the lasers oh we can definitely make that welcome back to the most racist podcast we should make that for the cold open next time yeah it'd be a shame if you're listening an hour of racial slurs straight of commercial free racial slurs all slurs all the time hahaha person listening to this definitely right we'll do the jokes Ryan okay [Laughter] oh man it would be ashamed if someone was listening to this on their card full volume racial slurs then this is the station for you 96.6 FM keeping it racist yeah coming up why we hate Asian slot machines and why white people [ __ ] suck damn yeah now um played the Asian slot machine but he took my money and then I went to the little pig slot machine and they took my money did they really I got and then it was rich little piggies yeah literally yeah did you have you played them yet no I didn't we tried to find it forever yeah because I was like Noel told me to get this one I got it gotta find this one he had a good time on it so I did have a good moment on Rich Little Piggies two times but they did take my money as well and then I had a good moment on the cows but here's the best part about the cows so I'm starting to be you know I'm starting to develop the slot conspiracies okay one of my conspiracies if the players card like receptacle whatever you'd call that yeah the players card vagina yep if it's broken don't play oh yeah okay okay that's the easy one that's an easy one so one of the machines on the left the players card thing was busted and I was really geeked to play Cows but I had a I'm like I don't think so bad juju plus by the way it's hard to interrupt like you rack up points so quickly yes people don't know like get a [ __ ] players card if you're gonna go to Vegas and spend any money at the tables like anything even 100 bucks yeah get a player's card yeah because they'll give you a [ __ ] free room yeah in like when you spend like 200 bucks or something like that it's crazy how fast it doesn't take much dude yeah so it was busted and I I said I think I'm like this seat is the only one that's been open and this is like a [ __ ] you know what what was it like a Sunday night or something okay like the casino's popping yeah why is there an empty chair yeah I'm like I have a feeling because the player's card [ __ ] is broken it's just burning people out and I watch this person after person get owned so I'm like all right conspiracy confirmed okay then we're watching this lady I I kept saying her balances her balance is like 30 bucks she's about to leave we're gonna take over when her balance to get to like 60 cents another 200 oh okay another 300. I think in the span of 30 minutes she had to put like a thousand dollars in there okay and so we came back at some point and she she starts hitting massive she's hitting crazy bonuses and so to egg around it just starts screaming like a preacher you know until I hit 600 I'm like can we get 700. but won't he do it give her eight and then uh she gets up to a thousand and the cash is like so didn't she just like put in a thousand I'm like yeah she's rinsing it yeah like everyone's hyped she's laundering I was like holy [ __ ] she has a thousand dollars someone's like yeah but she put in like three no but that's not what it's about dude you can't look at it like all right [ __ ] yeah keep going keep going God you're the worst person again wait but guys he put in a thousand so technically he hasn't won any dude shut up it's a stupid just win do you know do you know read the letters right there stupid these are rare dude enjoy the moment God why did I bring you here pissed off on a stupendous win I should be elated right now dude thank God it wasn't an Elation an elated win you would have ruined that for me we've never even seen one of those yeah hey hot only hope that's so funny is we were playing you know the Buffalo one no Buffalo no no I haven't you laugh play the Buffalo machine yeah it scream it yeah whoa is that it what was that look up Buffalo yeah Buffalo gold slot machine [ __ ] yeah can you search oh I see this one all the time yeah yeah it's why is it bad it cleaned me when you get through the buffalo so this is like all right so I'm playing right Forest Prairie themed yeah yeah wolves and buffaloes it's uh who's the dude with the Blue Ox Paul Bunyan Paul Bunyan thing okay this one was so funny so I'm playing and you know I'm just I'm noticing the three coins that's your bonus you know how every slot machine has its bonus mechanism yep everyone's standing behind me and no one's really played slots two of our friends it was their like first time like like really trying to gamble they've never played sloths before so standing behind me and they're like so how do you win I'm like well you just got to look for the three coins yeah yeah and there's two styles of coins they're like oh so is it that kind of that kind of well there's two different points yeah so you want three of them preferably of the same type they're like okay and they're like what do the Buffaloes mean I'm like they're probably Wilds I'm like so what's the rose on the top I'm like it's probably a bonus can you shut up yeah so as I'm explaining it none of it's making sense I'm just like you guys don't get it and then the cash is like yes we don't get it I'm like here we go again dude well no you also go you go they go what are the what are the Buffaloes you go probably a while and then a buffalo and a wild at the same time that's the point is you never really understand yeah but as long as you understand it like 70 to 80 yeah you can that's all you need yeah and and actually that makes it more fun because then there's a little mystery to it yeah it's like what are the Buffaloes you just hit a button yeah that's actually the best part about slots is um I what I should have told you all when you're asking me the questions I should have said it doesn't [ __ ] matter and then it's just gonna kept spamming the bike as I'm looking at the crowd just [ __ ] look for the stupendous win yeah that's all that matters that's what this game is yeah okay you just keep hitting it until it's fun oh cash shut up dude that's what I get I made 90 bucks telling everybody I'm like no this is the fun part when it takes 300 from you this is when it's the most fun yeah yeah bro we played roulette oh yeah yeah well um I watched this uh watch this dude go from probably a hundred bucks to 600. I love that I just like how how are you actually good at roulette that's crazy to me yeah I love it too because it's like the stack just grows so big because they dish it out in fives yeah so all of a sudden he's just you know oh he hit like a little starfish man yeah he had one on top and then one on each Corner oh my God yeah hit that number yeah that's sick nailed it and then uh it wasn't really animated guy and but when he hit that I I just said dude and he smashed my knuckles I don't think he's like yeah yeah it came out he was like [ __ ] yeah you're feeling that [ __ ] dude meanwhile I'm losing money and I just kept asking the guy can I shove my money in the hole and I said can I throw up in there after you take it all can I just I'm sure he loved that oh he was geeking I'm sure he was chuckling me was he really yeah like dealers hate that [ __ ] oh no he was in good spirits and then the the so I lost and then the Pit Boss came over and she goes no you have to double down on black that's how you get it back and I go oh yeah like I'm gonna [ __ ] trust you and she goes you're gonna wish you dead and then yeah but can I puke in that hole Yeah can I [ __ ] and cry in that hole can I feel what it's in that hole yeah let me in there let me in the hole I want to be inside be inside that hole it's a new face listen me Pit Boss let me see what's in the hole Yeah that that's a new fetish man being shoved inside a roulette table and then just chips getting poured on put me in the hole put me in the hole in a little chat yeah I'm a five dollar kid I want to be a little chip I want to be in the hole scoop me yeah man you know what that means folks it's time for an ad read well we want to thank the sponsor of today's episode which is liquid death you've probably noticed the strange satanic occult tall boys on our ship and in the bottled water section of your local stores don't be scared it's just water but now in addition to the Mountain Water and flavored sparkling 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leafer rest in Peach and the armless Palmer liquidat's new Iced Teas are available now with free shipping on Amazon and retailers near you as an added bonus TMG listeners get 20 off their first liquid death apparel purchase available exclusively at liquid death.com TMG that could be this hat for example exclusions May apply that's liquiddeath.com TMG this shit's really good guys well I'm I'm going to Vegas so I'm gonna do three more opening or four more opening sets in the next two months let's go and then I'm going in between weekends for a friend's birthday so I'm going five times you're gonna in the next two months so get ready to move for three months get ready to move yeah I know I'm you know checking out some real estate out there already yeah yeah making sure I'm prepped there's plenty of it you can live pretty much anywhere there dude yeah I'm thinking about living on the strip in the Aria Planet Hollywood yeah all the worst one I used to love playing Hollywood I went there I don't know how recently and I said man this place like literally stinks does it it's kind of stinky not the traditional stink yeah it's just it's pretty worn yeah because it's like dead centers a lot of foot traffic yeah Vegas is getting old I mean not that it I mean it did you have you seen that Tick Tock about like the worst uh Vegas hotels like what the Rio looks like nowadays oh nah I'm sure I we we took a we took a gander through the Excalibur oh yeah like a couple months ago holy [ __ ] my memories as a child were extinguished that's a bummer I said oh man this place looks like I could push it over what's happening yeah I'm pretty sure like all that whole like first wave of hotels they're all like plagued with bed bugs and deserted now so you're playing excess yeah four in a row Yeah well yeah excess uh Encore Beach Club at night a couple of times let me come through one of those and perform a song over like a Earl Sweatshirt Type Beat Just a weird set yeah oh I told these [ __ ] you better back up before I pack the back in the back of the back of them yeah I'm feeling that Vegas let's go I used to boof Benadryl and Sudafed in the back of the school bus oh I punched my English teacher in the nuts foreign to the house music house music yeah just start freestyling they're like whoa this song's Interactive just picking up with conversations in the crowd yeah just one song or or you come on and uh I give you the mic and you could be like you are listening to the most racist DJ in all of Las Vegas if you're here right now you're here supporting the white race exclusively and you hate others and you are xenophobic you are not here for anything other than the white race Make Some Noise Tick Tock Clips afterwards yeah I accidentally went to the most racist DJ set when you go to excess and it's a KKK meeting just a [ __ ] burning cross in the middle of the crowd like whoa this shit's kind of bad yeah dude but the best the best gambling did I talk about the horse machine oh we watched the little toy horses that's the best one you didn't know yes that's my favorite one by far okay dude I cannot lose on that machine I swear to God it prints money I want it's a cheat code I wanted to go in on that but I felt is it was there one I've walked past a couple oh okay but I I I you know I was thinking I was better than people like elbow Elena but look at these [ __ ] look at these chumps oh what no the whole time I wanna of course I want to be in yeah yeah I'm like looking I'm like look at this a toy like I wanna I Wanna Be it's sick it's like a carnival game where the horse is magnetic or were they on a track it's this oh yeah yeah they're on a uh they're on a track it's this yeah magnetic I guess oh what yeah hold on it's super sick but you I mean you mostly watch it on the screen because on the screen there's like a real animation but uh so you basically bet on who's gonna come one and two yeah and it's like a grid so you can bet on it's so fun and you can basically play the whole board so that you never lose yeah yeah no yeah but oh and there's an instant replay the odds change every time so it'll be like occasionally you know it'll be like uh the odds of four and one coming in first in place right first and second place are like for 50 000 so you put a dollar on that okay it's like the bonus yeah I mean that's just real horse yeah you're just doing real horse race bidding so yeah is that how it works yeah it's all the same yeah so there's like never bet the ponies I I've bet like the Kentucky Derby one time threw a friend and that was the time that it was the only time in history where they like recalled the the winning decision because they found they they found out that they were cheating or whatever and I won like a couple Grand or something and I was in Vegas wait how are they cheating can you look it up three years ago or something you win a couple Grand and I were like oh my God we won the Kentucky Derby holy [ __ ] and then and then found out later that afternoon that it got taken back yeah doping Scandal only time it's ever happened I'm pretty sure the winner failed a post-race drug test oh it's like who gives a [ __ ] it pissed off of course of course they're on dope the horse tested P for EPO no they're not what they're not of course on dope they're all on steroids no they're all pumped full of yeah you know you know the ponies are on Trend man yeah dude yeah they got a trend cough yeah damn that's what gave it away yeah the horse just Falls over it's Gotta trunk off what year was this uh 2021 yeah betamethasone an anti-inflammatory that is used to treat joint pain in horses though allowed in some states Kentucky bars any presence of the drug on race day wow such a shame man it's like they didn't even think about all the people that won money you know yeah they didn't even consider that they didn't even think about all the people who worked hard to [ __ ] gamble gamble yeah just say no one yeah yeah no no there's research involved cash don't [ __ ] undermine the hard work we do no there's there is for the Kentucky Derby that is true I I don't want to turn this into the gambling episode which it seems to be it's 30. oh no dude people want us to see of all of our content uh news flash people we've done everything there is to do on this [ __ ] website yeah react to videos you're doing that like off a thousand times yeah yeah uh what and we're and at this point we're desperately trying to get a stake deal yeah yeah yeah make music we've done that already yeah yeah what's next um filming from our iPhones of us gambling at slot machines what's up down 19 500 yeah yeah and the content is unedited it's hours long and it's just this yo we're here what's up so 45 minutes ago we hit a stupendous win stupendous win we're kind of still riding that energy haven't had a lot of traction since then but I really feel it's coming back yes I'm gonna go walk in a circle yep because that seems to work yep around the Cinderella machine I'm gonna go do a figure eight around that and I'm gonna pull my pants down and rub my butt on the on the uh the original Piggies machine you know just to feel like a pig's ass and then uh we're gonna light it up we're gonna throw five grand in there and then just all right seemed to like when I did this before yeah so I brushed up against it accidentally and we hit so you can see the screen now and here off away we go all right we are down 19 500 don't [ __ ] show me this man those pigs they I want to [ __ ] eat them those Rich Little Piggies I wanna like yeah I want to like cut a check for [ __ ] squeeze them my whole net worth and shove it in their hole [Laughter] um show us the pig hole I've been gamble what I was gonna say is I've been betting on sports a lot um like getting into like yesterday I was betting on like wait over under for certain players yes keep going who's the guy that nut tapped LeBron Dylan oh Dylan Brooks yeah can you under on him damn it I thought you're gonna tell me you could bet on like sack Taps probability of sex not dabs you just hit it it's like I'm gonna bet Dylan Brooks act have no but I did I [ __ ] bet on the Ryan Garcia fight that there'd be a knock down in the first four rounds and I hit oh was it like it was like plus 270 or something the odds okay remember do you want to fight um oh yeah [ __ ] that sucks yeah I came I just got off stage and I went on Twitter and I just saw a tank just like oh my guess he lost yeah yeah I mean yeah I wasn't even I'm not even I you come away from boxing matches and you're like was that a good fight did I enjoy it um I was on the edge of my seat the whole time but I don't know if I enjoyed it I think it's tough with tank because I mean that dude dude yeah he's extremely good and he is his [ __ ] knockout power is UPS like it's genuinely absurd for his size yeah he's 135 pounds he can [ __ ] Flatline you yeah you probably won five and a half I think you'd probably be like 160 and I bet you if he hit you with that same body shot like you would [ __ ] yourself yeah yeah I mean and and uh Keithley uh yeah food Tick Tock guy who used to fight um he he called it perfectly he's like oh yeah once tank gets on the inside it's over um you called it like perfectly yeah yeah he's like yeah he's like seventh round he called that before the fight yeah seventh round body shot he said yeah that's crazy homie you called it perfectly because he was it's true like Ryan is so much taller and longer than uh tank uh-huh yeah dude he was out yeah he was out boxing Ryan big time yeah I mean tank is as far as like activity goes I feel tanks had more fights in the last couple years than Ryan's had anyway yeah and that dude Luke who uh knocked Ryan Garcia down you know yeah that guy is arguably not as as accomplished as tank so I I think it was a layup for tank I don't know who can fight tank at this point that is really gonna challenge him yeah another really good dude is a guy named Devin Haney um but I think tank would Edge out Devin Haney so yeah so you bet though yeah and I won but I did then I bet on Ryan winning the fight rip so but I I won way more on the knockdown in the first four rounds so I was happy so plus 270 says 100 to win 270. yeah nice and that was the first sports bet I've won like on my own account that one nice so it's not been going well yeah I've had to refund like I drain my account had to refund at one time and that was the first one I won nice so now I'm kind of just flush with cash playing with house money you know yeah [Music] wait is that the sound of the Skylight Bongo yeah it is man let them know it's notifying that it's time to promote Skylight frames the sponsor of today's episode listen it can be so difficult to find a gift for your loved ones that they will actually be able to use and enjoy yeah which is why I was so excited when I heard about Skylight frames yeah the Skylight digital photo frame is a wonderful meaningful gift that will give you a great way to stay in touch with those you love it's simple and fun to use even if you're not tech savvy yeah you're probably wondering what is a skylight frame yeah I'm gonna tell you it's a touch screen photo frame psych you thought that's all it was you can email photos to it and they appear in seconds so friends and family can see your favorite members moments your favorite family members yeah no ad for subscription required to send photos anytime from anywhere besides displaying wonderful photos your gift is also a gorgeous frame that adds a beautiful touch to to any home choose from a 10 or 15 inch touchscreen it's fun to swipe through photos and even tap the heart button to let the sender know the photo is special to them this makes the frame interactive and as fun to use the Skylight frame holds thousands of photos that continuously rotate through and bring daily Joy plus it is a hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed if you don't love your Skylight they'll offer you a full refund preloaded with favorite photos for a special Mother's or Father's Day gift surprise them with photos they didn't even know you had Mother's Day is coming up so sure you um get in that special tribute gift for her yep you know load it with photos yeah load it with photos as a special offer in time just in time for Mother's Day or Father's Day get 10 off that's up to 30 off your frame when you go to skylightframe.com gang that's right to get 10 off up to thirty dollars off your purchase of a skylight frame just go to skylightframe.com gang that's s-k-y-l-i-g-h-t-f-r-a-m-e.com slash gang so what what other sports are we betting on b-ball um I've been doing you're doing this NBA and the fights and um I've been in hockey doing lacrosse uh I'm like lacrosse damn Bocce yeah um Polo I've been doing Cricket yeah yeah yeah Mahjong uh Billiards professional billiards yep I'm betting on pool players yeah bowling that's good I was just earlier I was gonna interrupt you and say I had a bajillion dollar idea what we we collab with steak okay and we build a replica of the horse racing machine but it's NASCAR oh my God we put that [ __ ] together really good idea you put that [ __ ] in Kansas City or Vegas Vegas too yeah but I mean just Kansas City Tennessee wherever we will ether Middle America that's a really good idea we will take all their money yeah that's a great idea just branded start a casino yeah should we sure let's just start one I love it we donated a charity at the beginning of this and we're like actually let's take money back from people Yeah Yeah from innocent people what's let's do that no that's a really good idea actually you could you could take that concept of things racing and just you know apply it to anything dude you could oh man huh racist yeah yeah yeah racist machines yeah the most racist machines in all of America Formula One the NASCAR uh you know formula of race different race races race different races damn just in the middle of it it's just like just like a it's just the Olympics it's just black white which is the best race pick your race pick your race race Wars yeah do a little Iron Man machine yeah yeah uh Ryan we do the jokes I would play the [ __ ] out of an Iron Man machine yeah I gotta figure out if I'm gonna like you know God willing I finished the race I gotta figure out if I'm gonna get the tattoo like right after any ideas on where I should get it so that's the thing you just get a tattoo no the m the m dot like the logo oh it's like kind of the classic thing people get the yeah actually I was thinking about yeah just get a full back piece of Robert Downey Jr yeah by accident Jarvis tattoo my ass no like the little logo yeah yeah can I see what the logo looks like before I I just have to just pick the least stupid place to put it well everyone does the that that's on the calf I don't really want to do the cath I don't know look up like Iron Man Iron Man just do make it one word oh the MDOT dude you know what I think you should do third eye oh oh shave a patch in the back of your head and have them do anything and then grow their hair back over oh yeah okay I can't see it yeah but I know it's there yeah it would be kind of cool behind your globe wouldn't I yeah wouldn't that just hurt like hell I got big big lobes what did Tom say about ships earlobes yeah yeah it's like like Barnacle me you got thick earlobes that flick she's like ow what the [ __ ] she liked it though abusive dude yeah good episode yeah I know but don't talk about it yeah nema's gonna get pissed at us yeah Nema got mad attacks at our group Furious some pretty funny comments last week really don't waste this this dude I saw that one too don't waste 10 minutes so we won't waste a second Nemo was mad doesn't follow instructions so didn't you didn't you insert my audio recording of saying skip to this timestamp he texts us he's like you guys said succession and I'm freaking out because uh like I haven't watched I'm on episode three and freaking out and then he like multiple texts and then he's like hey uh I don't know where to go and I'm like dude it should tell tell you where to skip to he's like I fast forward to 10 minutes and you're still talking about it I'm I'm not listening to this episode anymore he's like I'll just tune into the next one it's probably on his phone in his Tesla while it's automatically driving yeah he's like oh I'm freaking out [Laughter] there's no eyes on the road not a single pupil see what to do because I'm on my phone while my car is automatically driving so three of the first season yeah yeah it's gonna be crazy when you find out that got that out you know you know who did that [ __ ] you know did that [ __ ] what Elena's [ __ ] calls Sarah did that [ __ ] to Alex no way she's just dude in the middle of it like they're talking she's like well and he hasn't started it yet he's wanted to see it now he's just sitting there like no way somebody dude do you remember those classic videos of people driving by the people waiting in line to see Harry Potter yeah yeah screaming Snape kills Dumbledore yeah and they're like waiting in line like dressed up to see the movie and there are people like drive by with a megaphone Snape kills Dumbledore Snape kills Dumbledore no the the best one dude was uh you remember Leroy Jenkins yeah yeah there was a video yeah yeah there's a there's a meme version of that where like started and then it hard Cuts you know what I'm talking about yeah and it's just that Windows Movie Maker edit and it's just all the spoilers of Harry Potter like on turbo like like if you even accidentally watched three seconds it just [ __ ] up like five books dude Leroy Jenkins Harry Potter spoilers I remember and I think it I think it plays Rick Astley on just uh like two time speeds like now we're gonna give you Dobby dies it's like I think it says like it's like the page numbers I want to say it's like the page number it's like diamond dies page 300. [ __ ] man that's so good so we want to talk about succession we want to talk about that foreign [Laughter] yeah just muted mute it yeah yeah censor it yeah on there's no way this video oh it's not available anymore damn it dude yeah it has to be somewhere man it was so funny just raw text and page numbers man did you see the thing about um [Laughter] oh [ __ ] hell oh this video is great my wife was like we shouldn't watch the session last night because she wanted to wait and I was like I have to watch yeah yeah did you watch it yeah how good was that last scene can you send me a picture of your brother's faces so good dude I was reading the Reddit thread afterwards trying to just get my opinions yeah yeah someone's like I love that the only thing that worked out for a Kendall was the opposite of what he was hoping would happen yeah yeah hilarious well do you think he's Gonna Take It uh yeah I mean again I was reading another opinion of mine yeah a comment on Reddit yeah and someone said uh they're gonna they're gonna take it but then they're gonna be at odds with Matson which is going to kind of push them away and shiv is gonna I figured shiv is gonna try to Cozy up to him maybe uh you know tickle his fancy did the thing with the blood we shouldn't talk you know we can't spend we can't spend any time on this time on this I laughed so hard at the blood thing though it's just like weirdo yeah but like not like it was like an accurate representation of like a tech billionaire guy sort of I mean they wasn't there that whole thing where they were taking young people's blood and injecting it didn't like Elon do that oh yeah you're talking about um um what's like the what's like the name for it yeah look it up um blood transfusion young people it wasn't like Ellen was yeah I think it was a rumor but it was like a conspiracy theory what I'm thinking about it was like they're sacrificing young people and in checking their like blood and stem cells so they could look younger that's why like Ellen like hasn't aged and she's like 80 or whatever [ __ ] but is it though is it blood libels what the [ __ ] is it called oh damn it I didn't adrenochrome yes adrenochrome yeah when you say Chrome Google that how do we do it always do we need to get us those young boys man oxid oxidation of adrenaline it was the subject of limited research from the 1950s through the through the 1970s that's what Nike's doing man they got the they got the young boys making the shoes and then they're taking their blood and then staying young forever selling it to Hollywood um I've been watching uh I finished beef don't talk about what you've been watching dude oh yeah don't waste a minute yeah talking about what you've been we both like watching shows that doesn't matter me on my fridge yeah me my Apple watch me and my home theater and it's we've talked about shows Forever on this show don't waste a [ __ ] minute so whoever left that comment if you're gonna talk about beef I'm leaving because you haven't seen it yeah I mean it was just [ __ ] crazy Danny dies [Laughter] crazy ass scene when Stephen Yoon Falls die on that mountain now those things don't actually run over by a car they don't happen yeah they don't happen or do they the last episode was weird as [ __ ] though which one was it nah never mind we can't talk about it God damn it don't talk about talk about other things what else is there in life dude um I lost all my money this weekend I did stand up what else do you want to know yeah I'm kidding there's nothing more in life other than gambling and watching TV shows yeah dude yeah that's it now yeah we're 50. we're on it for 15 we're out of time we're 50 years old dude it's gambling in TV the mind has an incredible appetite for losing money yeah it's crazy how a human brain can just be okay like you know oh yeah do you know the craziest [ __ ] last time me and Stephen went to Vegas there's this lady playing two cows machines I'm down 5 . really just smashing too we're like get the [ __ ] get out of here GI Joe PSA what the [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out of here no I think the solution is add one more thing yeah like she's playing bongos that actually would be funny to just occupy a whole people do that whole cabinet and they're just walking up and down like can I get it I want to sit down and they're like no no you're gonna interrupt the flow this is mine yeah dude Goa if you're if you're gonna go man I think you gotta Get Saucy then you gotta do a high roller slot oh yeah ten dollar spin yeah I would do that actually I would do it I would put in 100 bucks and just lose it all just to say that I did it 10 spins okay 100 bucks 10 spins well of course I would hope that I would hit some sort of win I think you go a thousand to see if you can get like three or four hundred and then you're done uh yeah yeah okay yeah that's the Dana White strategy yeah well The Dana White strategy is uh yeah I don't pay my Fighters anything and I take what I would have given them and I put it all on black howlerhead.com I'll put it on double zero very rarely hits has never hit for me personally the odds of this thing hitting are it's like one in a million but it doesn't [ __ ] matter because it's not money that I give a [ __ ] about and it's money that my Fighters would have never made yeah it's not technically mine it's theirs but I haven't all right should we cruise to the Bone Zone we could what is this edible anus chocolates let's eat some of these on the podcast edible anus you're kidding is this real yeah but is it real anus or is it real yeah what's the what's the what's the real part of it just the label or is this just what website is this edible anus Red Dead yeah search that edible anus read it yeah I mean the only thing that's suggesting that this is for the anus is that all of the chocolate chocolates are textured like penis heads and they're kind of shaped like them no it has like the ribs of a butthole why would you say penis head I guess I just meant like the you know is this is the name of the brand because that's kind of sick what the anus I'm an idiot you're right it is an anus that made Britain great I don't fully understand this if I'm being honest now go to the about us let's read oh yeah these are these are anus molds I'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] I mean yeah an anus and a lip and a pair of lips the chocolate anus was born the world's first chocolate anus first saw the light of day in 2006 London artist Magnus Irvin made a range of them in multi-colored chocolate to present in an exhibition how did he do it at that show he definitely took a mold of his own [ __ ] initially Mr Irvin tried to cast his own anus with messy and disastrous results whilst explaining his failure to a chance acquaintance at a bus stop he was gratified to find that his fellow boost passenger was willing to allow him to cast her anus the job the job was done in just over half an hour later that afternoon and all subsequent anuses have been based on this casting it is a matter of interest that the person who kindly donated his service has no idea that her anus has now gone global was she hot though that's crazy I have a stranger just in your apartment with her ankles by her head like on her neck you're like how's that yeah perfect perfect what was the conversation like like how did he even Broach that with her he's just sitting down at the bus stop exactly oh what's wrong I've just ugh quite a story I'm I'm an artist and I I try to create a mold of my anus but it was too painful it was quite uh quite messy yeah well I have an anus I suppose we all do don't we yeah yeah we've all eaten anything today yeah would you like a would you like to try make them old of my anus yeah yes what bloody hell okay then we'll get off in a few stops at my apartment and we'll uh we'll cast your anus that's pretty she's sitting there like this she's casting her anus she's like I thought this whole thing was a euphemism for like we're gonna have sex no he's like no I'm for real I'm making butthole chocolate I feel like it's pretty British to be like yeah holy [ __ ] dude I could eat that out I could lick that dude that's pretty good yeah that's pretty funny yeah I didn't really get the whole perspective before but you you see what I meant when you just look at like the half like from an angle yeah like I thought it was and the and the phrasing edible anus chocolate I took that literally like oh you eat this with your ass yeah yeah like like or I put a comma in there mentally yeah edible anus chocolates yeah I was gonna say it feels pretty British to just kind of like what you do for work I'm an artist all right what you working on you know I tried to create a mold of my anus we didn't quite work oh you need a model I do actually okay I've got 30 minutes right and then they just go do it yeah and then the ankles by the head and she's like do you want to go to the pub after this yeah oh hell yeah bro oh it's a bonus why don't we do the penis ones oh we mold our penises yeah so they're like so it's a chocolate chip yeah yeah just a can of sprinkles 100 000 molds one to one scale no I was gonna say we should bonus this oh my God oh my God this is just porn this is just porn only 15 to cast your own this is a wonderful Valentine's Day gift or no you know Mother's Days Dad I've got you something I actually can't believe like this is real I thought they would have just made chocolates that look like that yeah lied about the casting the [ __ ] thing like it's pretty easy to make that yeah it looks like you just cut down the middle of an orange wow all right let's jump to the bonus yo can we watch this girl mold her ass yeah just kidding s You're Gonna Love you're gonna love this Matthew McConaughey thing yeah you're gonna love our Matthew McConaughey no you are it's so good he's standing his stage behind him he has screens with all the people that bought like the Zoom pass or whatever and it's all middle-aged mothers well dude you saw we fired some people up man what we fired some people up what do you mean the Maddie mcconies really they were in our comments bro really getting hard like saying what saying mean [ __ ] dude actually about us no way like Noelle and Cody are just so condescending did they actually say that he's trying to do something positive man at least it's free in the comments they were saying he may not [ __ ] with it wow holy [ __ ] Maddie get off your burner man talk to us people like that are A-list like him don't have really dedicated because you can't really get that close to him you know yeah so I'm surprised to find that people like have his back like that I think you know what I'm saying yeah I agree I I think but I think he kind of has that Old Guard Hollywood yeah yeah where he's like one of nine celebrities yeah and he's the one that people chose yeah Matthew is my guy yeah I mean I guess if you read his book or whatever and you you would feel like you'd know about his life and you know about him as a person you think look this up are there Matthew McConaughey posters we should get one this wall is still blank as hell yeah it's true I'm gonna fill that up yeah yeah so okay this this photo has probably been at some person's work desk for 15 years is that your husband yeah that's a nice photo is that your husband yeah I wish no no yes yes it is that is my husband yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean that one's just [ __ ] hot [Music] another one was more of a joke but this one's just straight up sexy as hell well where I was going with this was you know before the phone if you were a hot guy you were printed on paper like they would burn down trees to be like this guy needs to be in your [ __ ] office and your bedroom yeah that's funny he's from that era yeah to be printed yeah that's a pretty big deal yeah yeah just some [ __ ] yeah just some Brazilians in a forest yeah yeah what's this for Matthew McConaughey posters ah nice yeah so I think but I think you're right because if you project current day it is hard to get close to them but because I think he's a hot poster guy I just said yeah yeah he has that I think like the most people that are like online like you know like looking for hate about the people that they like and then being like how dare you hate these like BTS fans and like Harry Styles fans it's like modern day celebrities yeah that cultivate that kind of fan base but I feel like Matthew's like too old for that yeah but I guess maybe you're right it's just the poster crew yeah it's all people would that had him as a poster you can tell it's poster crew because everyone that got like really hot with us paragraph yeah yeah okay it's like that's like you know that's like some middle-aged Behavior yeah and to think that yeah I know it's also like he's so famous that like us making fun of like it just doesn't even it doesn't it's a drop in the bucket like yep the one this has this one this came out yesterday dude I'm not close this I'm not reading it again I want a dude dude we can read on the break I'm not gonna listen listen here Cooter town [Laughter] you're gonna you're gonna dog us out and your name is Cooter town okay what's so funny about the whole McConaughey thing yes the advertisement is a bit spammy it's marketing he's giving a free sort of Master Class to share some life experience and help people through hardship not for everyone sure but isn't that just very kind and selfless oh the VIP thing for which you pay is not too much is not too much look hold on he's got a spell over these people don't you wish you were this sexy yes yeah where you're like come see me for forty dollars and people are like so kind and selfless of you yeah for you to come down from up there it's a virtual road trip yeah Matthew you shouldn't you should be going on road trips by yourself with your friends not us us you're so kind our lowly little regular ugly little selves wait go back I want to finish it it include it includes being part of the zoom call where you can directly ask him a question but even better you donate food slash meals to people in need that's actually cool that is cool I don't know any more about it than the next person okay this is maybe a little upset hearing the boys call it a scam Matthew is trying to do something good here and give back which I think should be applauded rather than made fun of okay and you know what I'm gonna say to that Cooter town you're talking to Two World Renee world renowned Engineers okay and you know what we see when we see a website with a form that says come on for the Wrath first name last name email address I mean you cannot look at that website and not think that that's scammy that's what scams look like dude those this web design you know what this web design is you know this web design is what put in your name for a free gift card that's what this web design is that's why we think it's a scam yeah okay so what we're gonna find out for real yeah in the bonus um so join our website yeah we have the ride a ride through space.com we gotta make our [ __ ] look more like this dude yeah dude just a big old button click here for the space road trip yeah and mid journey us like as sexy as this yeah okay see you guys in a second I'm gonna pee real fast [Music] for a membership at tmgstudios.tv [Laughter]

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 305,020

Keywords:

Id: Wq4pGz1ZXFQ

Length: 79min 38sec (4778 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 26 2023