The First Dark Souls Experience

it's dark souls time no oh there we go hell yeah oh i get to name a character um [Music] greg man souls no his name has to be dark soul there he is it's dark soul protagonist of the game dark souls i miss bloodborne all right there is one obviously correct choice on this list and everything else is dumb then std bomb what is the std bomb it's standard that's an abbreviation for standard the std bomb oh thanks i i don't know which one you're talking about milky which one's the best one there's one very obviously correct one i wouldn't know god this character creator his name is john soules let's go hi dude are you chilling you chilling you're having a good time why does the helmet have to be up i want to have the helmet down i don't want to see his face since we're here at the tutorial allow me to read you off by dark soul characters names we have kt which was the first ring yeah jenny from hr skinty legend arby's meat flaps 2021 a choice wizard walk or no lap zard my bad how many times did you play this game too many yes there it is bonfire lit oh no oh no oh oh no oh no oh no i'm doing good damage prepared you huh yeah um a real weapon i got real sword dark souls oh okay sorry i just didn't think that i parried the the sound is so good different yeah the sound is very much muted not a good idea yeah no don't do that i didn't actually expect that to happen let's go again last try again oh now do what you were born to do yes fast and eat ass or that time oh can you even parry him no yeah the controls are definitely a bit clunky oh that's not what i meant to press oh i'm already dead oh dear yep i need to get out of the blood bloodborne mindset i should probably block a little bit more i keep thinking i'm still like i'm still playing bloodborne where everything was dodges no you you fat roll right now i know so it just takes a [ __ ] out of your stamina okay all right humanity that like it restores your hp so should i use it as a healing item not unless you have such a surplus and you're out of estus and so this essentially is like the uh oh this is the online oh is that the one is that the one so you go to a bonfire you go to a bonfire and you restore your community and this allows you to have online play well not this bonfire the next one because this one's smelly oh oh great hello uh milky i need your guidance what kind of build you want to do who the [ __ ] are you what the [ __ ] remember how you could see like outlines of people ghosts of other players bloodborne and demon souls yeah but they don't look like ghosts they just look like other players all right so what is your level up strength strength and vitality you're doing a strength build okay it seems like that's all i ever do also some people say that this is the more punishing of the souls game okay it depends on certain things let's see there it is yeah i went doorman but the ds3 faith bill doesn't hurt you wow who hurt you enough to do a faith build wow you are really hard to parry yeah remake does have the password system so if shen sent the password i could or milky will come in i think i'm gonna be fine for a while i've been i've been introduced to the sold games now i've kind of half know what i'm doing even if this game feels crusty as all [ __ ] ow oh yeah yep yep yep oh is there backstab yeah there's always backstabs oh oh oh he uh i [ __ ] up i used the wrong item uh uh whoops welcome to exploration they're beautiful i am dead okay oops i mess it up a lot oh god i can't heal this just gonna [ __ ] me up immediately oh dear oh what have i done oh oh dear i'll take the bait no no i didn't say there's anything wrong with five five for this game i said the fans are [ __ ] who have only played five there we go nothing changed oh oh dear oh okay where did you come from dude kidding me so they patched it in at least blood will have some weird [ __ ] you are out of essence you are out of bones you are out you are what are oh okay fine i'm dead um man i figured this i mean yeah that wasn't even the boss yeah and like let's say you didn't have that item anymore do it do it do it walk down the board don't be the angel on your shoulder and not say anything interested in having a nuanced debate because we will not entertain such emotions smell what the rock is cooking i am having i hate dragons uh [Music] you're going too fast you figured out the dark souls one stretch of circle circle hey man this armor is really heavy oh okay i kind of want to try it again [Music] enjoy your super souls and ring some of them wanna love at this point oh [Music] congrats nice wait is that a bear drop yeah and this one's got a great sword i was like you're faking it you're about oh wait wait wait hold on what what is this welcome to the sandwich no we're not youtube pooping reusing streets i'm ripper i'm rude get rid of some of the continuity of power levels for it to make come on yeah and i'm not even talking about wits either i'm just talking like why is this hey you've gotta be kidding me you did it i am a firm believer that however a way that you are able to play is the way that you are meant to i made him kill himself on fire so i think that's funny [ __ ] you no no only i'm allowed to heal how dare you the easiest way to piss off a player have the enemy heal he's done it again the man [Music] oh my god [Music] you've got to be [ __ ] kidding me do i even have something against poison i sure [ __ ] don't oh this looks not great oh god it's a waste of forty dollars i mean am i am big confusion by this assistance in what way how to do it or help from us uh just wait there now go oh it doesn't even reach you hell yeah yeah what the [ __ ] oh my god that's a smart move because it's a lot oops wrong thing i'm dead yes you know somebody i'm dead oh my god where did i see i saved this oh oh my gosh yeah oh no you're doing this all oh god i can't believe you went on this elevator oh god this elevator requires at least like 50 more levels the fact that you went here without even upgrading your weapon that's [ __ ] that's wild oh oh no no you should go anyway no no no no sorry you guys you guys suck can we please stop fighting right here i'm gonna die oh god oh god oh god oh god oh oh so no oh [ __ ] oh no oh okay you might not be very soon oh oh [ __ ] he danced oh he did the dancing oh my god how many little men do you have i believe that joe believes in you and you know what goodbye i i never do this without oh god i just i would never die in a souls game oh boy i hope that thing doesn't start to move oh no it's doing exactly that oh [ __ ] well good luck thanks are you guys [ __ ] okay oh oh oh no this is all going south i believe in you you can do it oh i can't build that weapon i no i can't yeah all right not bad for a first try yeah i was seriously thought you were gonna beat it first try well i would probably have if my [ __ ] weapon didn't get your weapon hey nice god you're annoyed stop [ __ ] breathing fire do you guys want to maybe stop this [ __ ] oh oh my god yes one down yes yes yes yeah yeah [ __ ] yeah you did it what does that mean [Music] i'll remember what you brought in the first very beginning i forgot ring two one above one below there's the above now you gotta get the below oh this guy his name's shiny be wary of miscreants oh she's the fire keeper this is where you use your souls to reinforce your esther flask should we tell her about redacted dark souls never tell anybody anything just saying this is going to be a wild ride without rejected i think that would be a wonderful thing to watch her experience they've done nothing to you they're literally doing nothing to you how dare you yeah but they're weird i don't know if them being weird is a good excuse for just literally massacring them oh oh no oh no oh no oh um oh what was that moan oh wait oh no oh there we go oh that's great wait what the [ __ ] right there fact welcome to the valley of drake's why am i here just a neat lighting effect yeah maybe i won't go here yet bye all right time to figure out what the [ __ ] i'm gonna do here i mean oh i can't hit them like that oh okay no curse no hit all right time to run oh dear i gotta ring the bell of awakening but all these ghosts andre i love you the man the legend god i love my dad bye dad god i love my dad the other best boy the onion knight so here i sit in quite a pickle weighing my options so to speak i love you how does your armor work in video games whenever a character is wearing plate armor but because it's attached to the model it like bends that is why wearing armor in video games is so much better than you know so happy to hear how you become an armored [ __ ] armor is hot and not only armor but also the coats from bloodborne again i i'm literally going to kill for that hunter statue hello free man moth i guess i'm killing nature what the [ __ ] are you die crystal you're too cute for this world thank you i love that you keep kicking around like a soccer ball it's so stiff oh there goes oh there's this [Applause] yeah welcome back [ __ ] that's a hydra hell yeah it is oh i do no damage to them i don't think i should be here oh no never mind i am under [ __ ] attack by a hydra okay i'm leaving sorry my bad nice all right you're almost there how's it going you fell into the water nice job thanks oh i didn't even know that was here man you came to the wrong neighborhood kids hey yeah boys come on rough him up ah rock them up with a night trip let's see come into our neighborhood you're gonna get a stab and see i'm getting fido all right we'll tell you oh later god he landed on your head he did a plunging attack on you i god the dogs are annoying i'm immediately dead because of the dogs that is actually full-on garbage that's dogs this is um what many would consider one of the less good fights in the game there you go both dogs down that was just a man with a goat head i mean i like i like the thought that's put into a lot of these bosses yeah even if the bosses themselves are pretty uh you know play i mean the most thought they put into it was just the stairs [Music] hey congrats the capra demon has become the clapper demon one of the worst fights for a while in terms of life oh jittery oh dear the night trip lets her back oh oh my god backstabbed and i will always treasure oh ow [ __ ] man okay ah okay yeah there you go i'm sorry i don't talk much during these for some reason this game like takes every single amount of my brain cell that i have that's normal what the [ __ ] are you hey so i'm about to die oh my god oh my god no no no no no no no no no no no no no no i am in not a good position [Music] oh okay i just want to get to the next bonfire but i don't know where the next bonfire is come here come here puppy come here oh you're so you you [ __ ] suck you [ __ ] suck you [ __ ] rat oh wait [ __ ] [ __ ] ow oh bonfire oh wow i have a [ __ ] ton of [ __ ] another one ah let's see i want to get to wielding my axe so i'm gonna go more into luck have strength watch out for narrow hallways in close walls what the [ __ ] are you these look like like doors i hate this rat okay so that's how you jump all right let's do that what is that what are you why do you look like that why do you look like that oh no they're poisoned [ __ ] no let me out no stop stop i'm being cornered [ __ ] you [ __ ] you i'm poisoned uh i'm turned to stone i'm dead i'm cursed a purging stone what the [ __ ] is a purging stone all right you want to come here buddy oh my god maybe not this sucks i've never thought i'd be this reliable on uh having like half my health removed yeah that's pretty uncool and i'm epic and i don't like that i'm poison [Laughter] and no teacher i don't teach her [ __ ] milky's like that parent that grabs you and shoves you in the pool and watches before you drown and then helps i'm poisoned again are you kidding me dude is that the rat king all right keep turning okay rat [ __ ] right flat back stabs no backstabbing the rat king but what if i want to back stab the ratchet go back uh are you kidding me poison again i i have to have something did i not buy anything nope you've got the bleed moss but not the poison moss goodbye oh no oh no it fell back into the curse pit well i don't know where else to go why didn't you come and fight me in my oh yeah i didn't mean it literally all right where are we go sorry oh i do love this game sometimes but this deals more damage than my weapon right yes there's a very obvious downside to that sword it breaks fast yeah i see you've noticed the downside wait oh okay i was waiting for you to do that i saw that you just had it on your hot bar and it was not the estus and i was just waiting for it to happen this is it stage is set all right curtain calls came a bit early [Music] oh what was that do t-posing okay so we've used our last pine resin now oh my god there we go rat down good use of the pine resin great team all right it's time you must fight the alligator oh dear it's a bigger alligator ah yes alex has such a tiny hair i offer you one piece of back cd advice yeah sure go for the tail bro what are you doing i'm alive i'm alive how am i alive do you like your [ __ ] thousand mouthy area i hate it here take that stupid snake yes slap and slap the floppy slap the fluff i'm dead okay curse is back yeah yeah it is big chunky flap that is okay so i don't think you had it that time i need to get rid of this curse i've grown used to it at this point hello there she is i have no no no no oh i'm in need of your help again i may have wasted [ __ ] look at that damage look at that damage oh okay look at that damage not getting one shot anymore oh oh you got you got trained wow holy [ __ ] this dragon is gaping my [ __ ] apart dude yeah hey hey hey hey hey i i i there we go there you go okay just gotta do that a few more times gaming [ __ ] you gaping dragon gaming dragon gaming dragon that's so funny flighttown is the next area duh good for me i i think hey tight knight [ __ ] never forget to zig and zag i see you zigg when you shoot his ass oh my god oh no i never sat down on a bonfire nope you didn't welcome back quick travel congratulations you now have the dark souls armor set this is all i ever wanted yes there you go you're john dark souls i am him i'm jon soules why did you reinforce that i'm a dumbass wouldn't you do it twice well i didn't get it i thought it was like why did you reinforce the wrong helmet twice because i thought i'm so used to it giving you the equipped things first so my brain was just like yeah this is fine wait i won't i won't be able to hit this guy still he's gonna [ __ ] kill me you don't know you're right i don't oh my god oh ow you suck ow yup you suck i'm dead oh no oh demon type knight you did it all right let's be on our way oh no oh no is it expecting you to try oh no no nevermind oh dear [Music] okay in the ass okay so will those guys not respond anymore no they will okay that i just thought it was weird because they had a larger like die animation i guess while i know what you mean that's still really funny what larger guy animation ah i understand now i understand everything welcome to blighttown if there's one thing you'll notice it's that this place sucks miyazaki really went let's see how we can make the players hate us today i mean it's very important to remember miyazaki is not your friend he wants to hurt you he wants you to hate them the only issue is that we can because we're just so [ __ ] we crave the punishment yeah he just does it subconsciously he [ __ ] blacks out when he wakes up there's a poison swamp level in his game he's just like what the [ __ ] keeps happening oh hi what the [ __ ] oh oh my god i have to go all the way back you really were going to make me go back into a bunch of flames from a little dog oh no i'm almost down on the boat whoa oh wait hold on i just noticed i have you [ __ ] hey so this isn't great this is actually really bad a little bit hey so i'm gonna die i'm gonna i'm actually gonna die help goodbye everyone oh i'm really amazed there hasn't been another bonfire gonna be straight up honest with you [ __ ] off why must you be so rude oh no are you kidding me poison swamp poison swamp no just a hollow tree god i don't know where else to go whoa great cool awesome wait what's inside the tree twin humanities are you sure oh double illusory walls what's in the big ass tree oh god got scared by [ __ ] branches wow this goes deep what the [ __ ] oh not again no these [ __ ] things i swear to [ __ ] [ __ ] ass oh holy [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] god [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] me [ __ ] ass yep that's what i deserve yep okay i was sliding like tarzan don't don't really worry about it no you [ __ ] oh can i offer some advice sure what don't get cursed no no uh you [ __ ] milky milky hey i offered advice can you shut the [ __ ] up okay i offered advice it's not my fault that you didn't do that please don't how do i get up how do i get out my souls you are not going to get me today let's go bye bye maybe bye bye bye bye don't die mushroom people everywhere all right so wait do me a favor here yeah this is really important stand right there yeah all right now look up like toward the sky whoa oh this bug for whatever reason has not been patched in the ring faster but it's whatever sorry but i couldn't let you like progress with the game without experiencing the oh [Laughter] i thought you were trying to show me something awesome and i was like looking up i was like well that is kind of cool no i was just trying to show you this [ __ ] stupid oh dude this looks [ __ ] i can't wait for views like this and oh excuse me is it coming towards me [Music] what the [ __ ] oh that was an insta kill wait did i not sit down you did not all right speedrun tactics let's go oh no uh yeah speedrun tactics [Laughter] well i don't gotta worry about your souls anymore also those mushrooms are indeed tangible objects so if you need to if you feel like you want to take a faster route down you can land on them really yes you will not slide off um okay um well this is a situation i'm not even sure what happened there i'm unsure how i keep making this happen you're very good at this game in a very odd way you have got to be kidding me that one shots me yo what clan i am going to [ __ ] my pants you know with your amount of strength you might be able to use the demon's great axe now if you're two-handed oh wow you still can't i can i can wield that one's dex yeah you can't use the dragon king's great actor a long way away from that one [Laughter] not me the clam oh it's dead i got the [ __ ] your stupid water attacks [ __ ] you [ __ ] you that's alive yes that's a dragon yes hey man the everlasting dragon you can enter a little covenant with it you want to know a back seat sure you can cut off this guy's tail isn't that a bad idea there you go wow he really doesn't give a [ __ ] huh nope enjoy your new sword and immediately to another awful area great i don't have to kill everything i really don't yeah i choose to do so what is wrong with me oh oh my god are you kidding me [ __ ] out of here nerd the [ __ ] out of your nerd and then all of a sudden like a barrage of toxic darts oh my god yeah you're in for a treat you've got to be kidding me not really no i'm going to die it's it's just this bad hey look more blooming purple moss oh you missed the bonfire what do you mean i miss the bonfire oh [Music] okay yeah give me some more yeah give me some more oh there i go kill him kill him yeah now he's dead though worth it worth it all right so i forgot about the dogs [ __ ] [ __ ] whoa dog's got skins i'm dead oh my dog's got skills all right so you have to cross now okay not exactly what i meant but that was impressive nonetheless wait what do you mean you have to get to the other side oh so like you were on the right side you just have to get on the left side oh okay so this is bad okay so ladder up milky way we're just there i know but we need to keep going up so now go left okay not left stop [ __ ] with me i'm not [ __ ] with you it's my tone's hard to remember i don't know where the ladder is i know you need to be up there okay not up there okay go down wait and there you go you're back at fire like interesting so uh because you have the master key the gaping dragon was entirely optional that entire sewer section was actually optional actually the capper demon was optional too then what the [ __ ] are you doing crying still got a few souls left over don't even level up maybe go buy another purging stone i hate you shut up for whatever you would never get first again shut up i hate you you're gonna get cursed again i'm just saying shut up i hate you i'm just saying shut up i hate you it's gonna happen spider boss huh wow i despise this here we go amazing chest ahead there she is clay lock just kidding that's the real clay log my god no titties no oh no amazing cheese no no no no no no no no no no watch out for the yeah watch out for that lava vomit oh thanks for the most part though doing great whoa oh my god yeah okay she does like a little pet on the spider face oh [ __ ] oh oh no oh my god it's everywhere i should not have rolled if you say little caesars is good it's because you have five dollars oh okay dough is a good foundation pineapple on a burger it depends what didn't i get what to answer your question jebby domino's isn't that good man eater mildred who the [ __ ] are you she's also naked should be pretty easy to deal with her uh if it would stop if i could yep okay that was a that was a [ __ ] like conglomerate they had a business meeting about how to dick you oh oh no no oh oh my god what the [ __ ] how did you live through that i don't know yes yes yes no yes that explosion is deadly you did it [ __ ] me here's the below hold on is that where onion knight sits yep yeah the [ __ ] i'm even ruined i always get uncomfortable with areas like these because they seem like areas that are screaming at you to be like this is a high level area you [ __ ] dumbass go away is it just because of the lava yeah does walking in lava kill me it'll hurt a lot oh no hate it hold you try fleeing fleeing from what wait that white wall didn't go away no it didn't there's a big old guy hey man how's it going oh no ah you took the item ceaseless discharge they had to put it right after quite a long because that's where it makes sense to have him i do no damage i didn't know that you were just chilling holy [ __ ] i think this might be the time for two-handed because i don't really think you can be blocking much of this guy's attacks wow he's gonna get full health smart idea actually oh really smart idea actually do i know the strat i do know the strat what is the cheese strap i'm not going to do it i just want to know what it is if you run all the way back to the fog wall then he'll put like one of his tentacles down and if you just smack that tentacle then he'll just fall off and die wait immediately yeah you just have to like hit this tentacle probably like 20 times or so maybe like 10 and he just falls off and immediately dies wait it's entirely intended yeah it's not a bug it is indeed in the game and he does it what are you supposed to do i i'm sorry i'm [ __ ] so endowed you just stand right here and he will come to you oh ow okay back up a little bit more um okay hide behind the rocks uh yeah maybe you have to move up to him but what is the intended lore reason that he dies because of that no he falls off he's just clinging on to like the side of the cliff and so whenever you get him over there he's like hanging on to the cliff by using that tentacle so whenever you smack the tentacle you make him fall off the cliff and he just falls all the way down oh oh now that tentacle on the left left oh that one and there he goes [Music] oh he just kind of like yep he did it and now that he is no longer ceaselessly discharged the lava goes away remember the capra demon oh i think that might be worse oh ow i love fighting the copper demon without any music very fun capra demon capra defeated 800 souls are yours oh my are you kidding me what if there was more of them i'm not supposed to be here aren't i no yeah because see the game kind of thought whenever it showed you that cut scene of the gate opening if that's where you'd go next yeah but i'm an idiot probably using a long sword not a spy hander like that feels like every other screamer and their grandmother you see shen has this uh this fun way of playing soulsborne games and that's that the weapon she starts with is the one she ends with i i actually did it with bloodborne and i did it with demon souls then why do you do it because i am a person that gets used to one thing and if i try another thing i hate it i hate it so much every new weapon i come across i'm like oh i should use this i'm a little concerned because i haven't repaired my weapon for a while now and i don't know when it will break what the hell happened here oh yeah she's dead dead oh yeah she's dead uh look around notice anybody missing oh no don't tell me he [ __ ] killed her yeah he killed her he doesn't like fire keepers fire keeper is absent oh wait what yeah you can't use that bonfire anymore either wait what yeah you can't use that bonfire anymore [Music] ah what the [ __ ] are you i'm just friend i hate the noises that are coming from your mouth i wonder if onion knight is doing okay he's gone yeah it's open he went in welcome to sen's faculty fun house uh snake people oh they deal a lot of damage oh oh my god okay all right i don't know the timing oh oh no yep i shouldn't have done that goodbye you're not dead i know i am oh no it happens is this area supposed to be [ __ ] yeah it's basically just you know full of traps filled to the brim with nothing good for you are you what hit me what what lightning all right here you go your biggest challenge yet i'm gonna be honest i am very worried i mean there is a giant boulder rolling down us like a hill you should be really i think up was a mistake find it oh no oh no so yeah uh the blood on there was supposed to tip you off oh my god oh no i knew it i knew it i knew it oh no oh no oh no oh no doing good oh you [ __ ] would you like to know a fun fact yeah that person will [ __ ] you up okay yeah oh yeah so as you see uh the char marks there are supposed to clue you in as to where the fire is gonna come i'm gonna die i don't wanna die i don't wanna die milky what what do i do turn around go to that message and roll off oh my god thank you thank you thank you there you go thank you thank you thank you i'm gonna be honest i would have cried if i had died there i understand oh so this is where that okay all right phew all right [ __ ] you fire person wait oh no what the [ __ ] oh my god it's a mirror match it's you wait hold on wait oh my god that's right who's john souls that's a real person that's not an npc i don't know who the [ __ ] this is but they they have perfectly mimicked you i mean i guess they were just invading in this area like this is like a form of stream sniping essentially that's amazing unfortunately john's souls cannot attack enemies you're all sumo stomper yeah this person is awesome we're not sure is this where the duel starts yeah okay let's do it jon souls it's been an honor john soules versus john soules here we go match of the century oh oh oh your money's on john's souls that's a safe bet having a money on zod souls is pretty fair oh oh making good use of the jumping attacks there john souls oh my god [Music] they're giving up players they accept it they accept the seat after that yep are you fine with me just uh okay goodbye john souls it's been an honor thank you so much [Music] thank you oh he dropped you an item wait oh oh some green blossom what i got [Music] see that's an amazing this this is invasion done right iron targets who the [ __ ] is this a myth a legend an absolute beast this guy can solo the boss really iron tarcus is a legend look at that damage oh [ __ ] marcus we think that's going to hurt tarkus gets back up shrugs it off goes back in for another one look at him go stands up two hands the sword oh even more damage nothing but heavy attacks don't have time for r1 it's only our twos with tarkis look at that wobbly he can't even stand up to targets it's too much tarkus is too much look at that down on his ass targets is going in for the kill over it's all targets wins again didn't even have to do a thing 40 000 souls for nothing all because you summoned targets that's really funny i feel so bad i'm pretty sure people wanted to watch me actually do this but that was hilarious oh no trust me just just look at chad everybody loves targets but yeah that's it turkish just shows up takes a big old fat [ __ ] on the iron golem and welcome to anor londo you

Channel: Shenpai

Views: 796,468

Keywords: Funny, Dark Souls, Dark Souls: Remastered, DS, DS1, Dark Souls 1, FromSoftware

Id: 4zf_DZdALKA

Length: 52min 32sec (3152 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 03 2021