The Eldar EXPLAINED by an Australian | Warhammer 40k Lore

g'day guys and gal with the big c keeping us indoors and my entire family moving to a different state there are only three things that's keeping me sane right now video games youtube and big titty eldar girlfriends well cartoon ones at least the eldar are a proud race of highly attractive heretics who take everything way too seriously their lack of humor is only rivaled by their massive ego and pride something which is killing them way faster than the slaanesh ever could now i see a lot of stuff about the elder and how they have at the worst out of all the races as slaanesh is slowly claiming their souls and they are a dying race on the brink of extinction however that is not true at all if anything the elders still have it the best let me explain all elder factions have found a band-aid solution for slaanesh which more or less means they are immortal as long as someone doesn't crack their soul stones or they can get their pinky to the heimonculus in time more on that later on top of that they either get to enjoy isolation on beautiful planets sail the stars in giant ships or they get to murder bang pretty much whoever they want three distinct pathways that you can switch between so there's a lot of options eldar society if you know you ignore the dark eldar is not as hierarchical as the other races and elder put a lot of value in each other's lives you know 40k is pretty messed up setting when the race that has it the best are in constant danger of being eternally tormented by the god of rape the last time i took a peek at the elder law was over two years ago and it was actually my first shot at warhammer 40k lore crazy to see how far we have come since then and my god i knew nothing about 40k when i made that video today we'll go over the origins of the elder why slaanesh has a claim to all their souls and what they're currently up to we'll also look at the five factions of elder and highlight some important characters from each faction i hope you guys enjoy this video it took me quite a while to make as you know i was only using one hand when i made it if you catch my drift let's get into it millions and millions of years before the god emperor tried to clap the galaxy's cheeks there was a race of overpowered intergalactic space toads who were masters of the warp called the old ones they also liked creating new life one theory is they did this as they felt it was their responsibility as a supreme race to save life through the galaxy but my theory is that the old ones are super ugly hence their pawn was really low tier as such they spawned themselves big titty eldar girlfriends to help pass the time and then gave them culture and psychic powers so they wouldn't look like total perverts eventually the old ones came across a race of sunburnt little sausages called the necrontia however due to the necron tier being ugly as well their pawn was also super low tier hence the old ones did not teach them the secrets of sunscreen and immortality this annoyed the necrontier who declared war on the old ones now for context this would be like zimbabwe in the 1800s declaring war on a pre-coronavirus america it didn't go so well for the necron tier hence they went with plan b and they sold their souls to star parasites called the stan now the war that ensured was really rough the elder were used as the old one's warriors against the necrons as they could create gods with their collective psyche and those gods could enter real space and be quite powerful eventually the war ended with the old ones being made extinct this dam being imprisoned by the still salty necrons and the elder on top of it all the elder would go on for the next 65 million years to be the top dogs of the galaxy only once having an issue when cain descended from the heavens and tried to murder them all because of a prophecy yeah cain was a bit of a dick the elder heavens were closed to avoid kane having any more hissy fits and life was good the elder no longer fought any wars as there was no one to really challenge them and their armies were all machines that could just do it for him they had enough wealth food and security to make everyone basically a billionaire hence they turned their attention to the arts instead now the elder at the time were completely immortal they lived for thousands of years and when they eventually did die of old age they would just reincarnate with all their memories so you have this race of really sexy highly emotional billionaires that have lived for millions of years without any threat or danger safe to say they got bored like true artists they followed the path to sex drugs and rock and roll they once again came to the same problem however once you've banged a hundred thousand people and their cats it just doesn't cut it anymore hence they started to murder each other in blood orgies it was around this time that a faction of elder were like oh wow that's horrific and left the elder empire to become hippies these elders were to become the exodites and cured their boredom through the writing of dinosaurs as the elder descended further into decadence the chaos god slaanesh started to form from the souls of the elder that had died due to all the naughtiness going on which kind of created a snowball effect as the more elder that died and joined slaanesh the stronger slaanesh's influence became which in turn resulted in more elder dying horribly the craft worlds existed long before the fall and acted as mostly trade and exploration vessels meeting other races and exploring the unknown reaches of the galaxy another valid way to curb your boredom as such they would only see the heart of the elder empire a few times every thousand years so when the elders started shoving pencils down their dick holes it was pretty easy to notice the craft words were like the wtf man and clearly saw the birth of slaanesh about to happen so they visited as many elder planets as they could saved all the same elder they could as well as animals and plants and buggered off just as after this occurred slaanesh was like swiggity swaggery swooty i'm coming for that big titty eldar booty and instantly destroyed the elder empire and ate the majority of their souls a number of exodites as well of craft worlds were still destroyed by the sudden birth of a god even though they were not sadistic the dark eldar actually made up 99 percent of the eldar population before slaughterness was born as everyone who wasn't on a craft world or in a maiden world was not a good elder the dark elder of today were able to survive due to being tucked deep within the bosom of the web way a method of travel the old ones had created which was protected from the warp at this point in time the harlequins weren't really a big thing and the inari didn't exist since this moment in time the elder have remained stagnant in their progress the crawfords grew massively in size to compensate for their new populations the exodites kept riding dinosaurs and the dark eldar did some wacky stuff to create their dark city komara it was soon after the birth of slaanesh that the great crusade began which was not a good thing for the elder during the great crusade numerous innocent elder maiden worlds were destroyed as well as at least two craft world however all was not lost despite all the elven gods being either eaten by slaanesh shattered into a thousand pieces or taken by nurgle to be used in his experiments one got escaped seer gorath the meme god with seo goras escape he offered a new path for the eldar the path of the harlequin at a moment's notice elder across the galaxy may abandon their post and give their soul to sir gorath joining the harlequins in their secret mission to kill the [ __ ] god despite being a god of a minor race ceo gorth has been one cheeky boy and has altered the course of the galaxy in a pretty dramatic way more on that later one interesting thing to note is that whilst craft world elder can use psychic powers due to their spirit stone protection they usually restrain themselves as it draws sanesh's attention whereas the dark owner do not use psychopaths at all for the same reason you know and they don't have the spirit protection of the spirit stones this is made more interesting by the fact that the dark eldar have a lot of overpowered technology from before the fall of the eldar which can only be activated with psychic powers gee it's like if the two factions work together they would be able to really achieve some cool things let's now take a gaze at the different eldar factions first we have the crawford eldar who can be considered the good eldar however pretty much all elder are [ __ ] the craftworld eldar worship the gods of old and are granted boons by them they are led by the phoenix lords who are group of uber-powerful elders who cannot die like if you kill one somehow they will come back and kick your ass margan rar is one such phoenix lord and he basically solo killed a tyranid high fleet and he's not even the strongest of them so you kind of get the picture the crawford elder fortunately did learn from their mistakes of their race hence they all wear chastity belts and have all disregarded their passions in their pursuits of martial mastery and not dying all crawford elder train their entire life to be warriors and follow certain paths to do this these past being led by each phoenix lord for example some elders follow the path of melee combat hence they might become striking scorpions whilst other elders who like kinky non-penetrative sex might become howling banshees due to the complex nature of building a ship the size of a continent that can self-sustain itself no new craft worlds have emerged since the fall of the eldar so the 16 or so craft worlds that have been destroyed since the fall of the elder is actually quite a big l for the eldar their greatest threats been invasions from chaos the tyranids and even the imperium of man basically all crawford elder have sticks up their asses they as they are so scared of enjoying themselves due to slyness chasing their booty each craft world is like its own faction has its own agenda sometimes conflicting with each other however they usually work together when they need to bale tan loves war ulthway is full of nerds and pretty much everyone is dead on leanden so they become a crawford full of necrons notable crawford elder include the phoenix lords such as magunra the most badass elder who literally dragged his car forward out of the eye of terror asura man the chosen one of azurian and jan zhar that weird kinky [ __ ] and here are the other phoenix lords that are all cool in their own way but we don't really care that much about what they're up to i definitely just triggered some xeno fans there but hey we we will rebuild a real famous craft world slash inari character is eldred the most powerful faster in existence who is also one of the oldest eldar alive this guy is basically single-handedly both saving and dooming the eldar race he's a do whatever it takes kind of guy and through his actions he has caused the death of billions of people and nilia woke a god of death if someone is carrying this setting it's this guy also he kicked abaddon's ass in a melee fight which when you consider he is an old wizard with clunky crystal bones is pretty funny next up we have the significantly less interesting exodite elder if the craft world elder are high elves and the dark eldar are the dark elves then the exodites are the wood elves the exodus of the elder who are like wow you're putting what in her ass and decided they were not okay with how things were panning out with the whole full of elder situation hence they left however as they only made out a small population of the elder and did not have craft worlds or other special technology hence they were left in crappy old ships their destinations were distant planets the elder had been terraforming for millions of years here they set up shop and began enjoying a simple life because of how far they're situated from the eye of terror they were perfectly fine for the most part when slaanesh was born and continue to be pretty free of chaotic influence they tame special dinosaurs called dragons and basically roam their worlds in nomadic tribes despite their simple lives it's pretty common for either the darker or crawford elder to join them as they want to either metaphorically get the stick out of their ass or physically get the stick out of their arse either way the exodus love their new friends and are always welcoming to these eldar outcasts to avoid slaanesh's trademark soul rape the exodites also use soul stones that are tethered to a world spirit which is their version of a craft world's infinity circuit yeah look the exodus don't do a whole lot on the galactic stage but they enjoy playing farm simulator 2020 so that's got to count for something next up we have the guys that really haven't learned anything from previous mistakes the dark eldar now the dark eldar were massive pricks before during and after the fall of the eldar hence spirit stones don't work for them so their method of avoiding being eaten by slaanesh is by torturing and murdering people as that replenishes their body and souls i mean it's a weird justification of being horrible people but at least it's justified when a dark elder hasn't shoved a cattle pod down someone's urethra for a while they begin to age as their soul gets devoured however as soon as they cause horrific pain and suffering they become replenished and youthful again this is how the lord of the dark elder stayed alive for the last 10 000 years he basically has unlimited amounts of pain he can inflict hence he stays infinitely youthful now as stated the dark elder survives slinesh by hiding in the web way mainly in a city called komara now komara isn't much of a city and more like a bunch of worlds crushed together and twisted into the shape of a horrific dark city it's very big and there's a lot of dark eldar trying to climb their way to the top psycho powers are forbidden in commura as we discussed so in order to make magic happen they you guessed it torture and murder the crap out of people using this true and tested method a dark eldar can be brought back from the dead if part of their corpse is recovered hence the dark eldor not fans of the salamanders especially since vulcan has kicked their ass to a new dimension on more than one occasion and his black boys had bombed the crap out of comrade in the past been the only space marine so far to do so unsurprisingly being a faction of sadistic backstabbers does not offer much in the way of unity hence the dark eldar have no large standing army or fleets instead relying on raiding parties and pirates to achieve their goals they don't want to expand out of the web way because out of the web ways where slaanesh is their souls drain away faster when they're not in their protective bubble the web way so they don't have interest in it you know they just want to shove things up people's holes that shouldn't be there or you know should the only dark elder that you need to know about at the moment is abstrabal vect vex started his existence as a slave and over ten thousand years rose to the top of the dark elder through masterful manipulations he escaped slavery and then founded a small but powerful faction of warriors from there he calculated everything from assassinations faking deaths actually dying but also faking it and his masterpiece wiping out the dark eldar royal family through manipulating a space-spraying chapter into attacking comrade the death of the leading family left a massive power vacuum that vect filled perfectly vekt has no interest in restoring elder glory or beating slaanesh as far as hiki is concerned he is the king of everything he wants has unlimited sex slaves and is going to live forever until the inari came and ruined his day that brings us to the next faction of eldar the inari the inaria the newest eldar faction are the only ones who are genuinely trying to be proactive about escaping soul rape they are the followers of the elder god of death yaned who is beginning to form in the warp but then slaanesh happened in eldar tales it's believed that once every single elder dies your ned will awaken kill slaanesh and they will reincarnate as better people however it's hard to convince a proud race of models to all kill themselves based off a hunch so eldrad being eldred decided to try forcibly awaken ed using some shady magic he nearly succeeded however the imperium being the mongkai that they are interrupted it hence yuned was stirred but not awoken he was however awake enough to choose his champion while his manifesto greater demon called the incarni his champion was gullyman's big titty to be eldar girlfriend urvane as you can see there's a lot of naming conventions going on here so far there seems to be three methods of reviving your ned and killing slaanesh method 1 mass suicide method 2 eldred being a naughty boy and finally method 3 which is what we're currently aiming for is the recovery of numerous powerful weapons called the crone swords which when united and magicked will castrate slaanesh the recovery of the crone swords was going well with the unary securing allies reviving gman and being able to revive themselves whenever they want as their god is you know the manifestation of death itself also members of the yanari do not need spirit stones as their souls are claimed by uned instead of slaanesh vekt is not a fan of the inari as he is quite happy to keep pillaging booty as we discussed hence he's trying to have your vein killed quite a lot so far no result for him but i'm sure he'll keep trying now the mission to reclaim the crone swords has ground to a bit of a halt lately as it's been revealed that the final crone sword is located within slanish's palace so not exactly an elder's holiday destination of choice coupled with the fact that slaanesh's most powerful graded demon just got boosted and is now trying to kill the inari so yeah good luck emos you'll need it yuvran is the main girl for the inari and was originally an elder on bl-tan that got bored so eventually found herself in the gladiatorial pits in commod where she was killed but she survived as jeanette was like hey that's pretty good her main companion is the viscerach her old mentor that grew feelings for her and was pretty sad when she left hence he abandoned his extremely prestigious post on his crafter to go find her infiltrating the dark elder and then helping her escape he is now her primary guardian and definitely in the friend zone think jorah mormont except the woman he loves isn't a useless dike the final eldar faction we have are the harlequins the harlequins are the servants of one of the last remaining gods of the eldar sierra gorath they existed before the fall of the elder however they weren't very front and cena as there was no wars to fight at the time due to their god being an absolute meme lord the harlequins are hard to understand sometimes they will aid the inari and protect your vein sometimes they will help vect it's all a part of the laughing god's confusing plan the harlequins treat battle like a performance everything they do is graceful whether it be castrating demons or slash teabagging plague bearers or performing a [ __ ] on a bloodthirster they take pride in what they do they are the guardians of the black library a secret craft world hidden in the web way that contains all the known law about chaos that there ever was something a rumerin that the uber nerd has been trying and failing to gain access to for thousands of years the laughing god has been subtly manipulating the galaxy for his own ends swapping the primark's fulgrim and the khan at birth so they would land on different planets something that likely resulted in fulgrim going trader instead of loyalist and also resulted in the khan being trapped in the web way the place that cyril gorath lives cheeky dog sio gorath wants celanesh to bugger off as well but he isn't power enough to just eat her hence he's been pulling the strings for thousands of years just enough to try tip it all on the eldar's favor i wonder if it will pay off there aren't really many notable harlequins as they all wear masks and they're all kind of you know mysterious and [ __ ] but that's okay and that does it for today guys a brief but informative overview of the eldar race there's a lot of information here cut down into about 20 minutes or so so if you're like what about darsheen of the shadow song the greatest harlequin of the villa v titty troop then i haven't forgotten about them i just don't make 40 minute videos if this video does well let's say it gets like 40 or 50 000 views then i will take a deep dive at each of the eldar factions and we can really get our dicks wet if you guys enjoyed this video and want to support the channel then patreon is the place to go only one dollar helps me out immensely and gives you guys access to a boatload of custom warhammer hentai join the discord for more memes and i'll see you in the next one peace bow to me

Channel: Majorkill

Views: 419,159

Keywords: Eldar, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k, Space Oprah, Xeno, Imperium of Man, CraftWorld, Dark Eldar, Harlequins, Ynnari, Gods, Epic, Primarchs, Fantasy, Age of Sigmar, Gamesworkshop, Tyrannids, Orks, Commoragh, Exodites, Dinosaurs

Id: vSHUNrX7omc

Length: 20min 27sec (1227 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 01 2020