The Dirty 30 | Full Romantic Comedy

[Music] foreign [Music] um [Music] oh [Music] so [Music] what up man got your mail bro don't you have a family to go home to some kids you know something like that why do you always stop out here first of all before i answer that question what the hell are you doing with these counters man you up there trying to you trying to take over the world you're trying to conjure some demons and yes i do have a family go home too but why do i want to go into a napping harping annoying complaining as wife asked me to do stuff around the house all the time like i'm some merry man or something all right i'm gonna be with someone for the rest of my life right my life sometimes i need a break man every day listen the candles are for my ambiance when i'm in my complete solitude and secondly see that's exactly what i don't want that's why i stay single because i don't need any headaches right now okay you say that now but one day my friend you're gonna wake up and you're gonna want that headache uh never mind you still got that headache man why you still call that girl what's the ass that good stop it please all right it's lisa she's a good girl you know we were just young and we made a few mistakes mistakes my ass listen man somebody living your life from day to day with no explanation is not a mistake it's not a mistake you coming home finding your girl face down ass up tell me ooh baby i'm sorry i landed like this in the bed it's not a mistake and not to mention all right that she was with her so-called best friend who was her ex-boyfriend while you was in the hospital after surgery that's not a mistake this i'm only telling you because i love you man lisa's not the one move on i have moved on really you moved on how many times have you called her today uh it was just um was because to call the signal the first time and it was three times but then i i sent a text because it was it was a good day i sent her a smiley face so it doesn't really count a smiley face man come on ricky man it's been five years when are you going to de-vergigize yourself again and just realize you need some [ __ ] why do you always have to use that word a [ __ ] yes you make it sound like it's some type of reward or something it is a reward do you know the the health benefits of [ __ ] they they even got a coochie credit card coming out listen [ __ ] has been the uplifting of brotherhood for the last century man frederick douglass was getting ass even colonel sounds was getting asked but why don't you go get with it no you need to get no you go you need to get it listen let's just okay because i'm a little too grown right here and i'm feeling that right now coming on to me like when i lay down i will lay down am i well lay down dan speaking of when was the last time you got something huh what when was the last time you got some ass man yeah i mean you'd be listening to jokes it doesn't really it doesn't really matter does it really matter okay i do what i do when i can when i can i bus whenever that's i do says the man who's been celibate since 2008 come on desert penis that thing be done when we go get some ass come on man i'm the only tennis because you're my homie okay all right you got to get together man you bout to be 30 in two months so what listen i'm not afraid about getting older maybe you are but i'm going to embrace my 30s fully embrace what you ain't got nothing or no one to embrace where am i going to find a decent woman at it anyway nowadays most of them that i run into and let's talk about that most of them they either have a boyfriend they're married have have kids they they're turnt up in a club somewhere popping bottles with god knows who listen right now the most important thing i need to focus god's going to find me the right woman i know he is god oh we are gathered here today to once again hear you say something about god man what you think god is up in heaven like yo you know what my little son of yours i'm gonna just part the red sea and plant a girl in your bed listen who the hell do you think you are if that's what the world is offering you none but baby mamas ratchet chicks turn up in the club girls with lace front eyelashes even girls that's pregnant listen you have to settle down and compromise do you even hear yourself right now yes i'm saying it do you really hear yourself yes i'm gonna take my ears off and listen to myself so i guess that's why you're home and you're married to a woman with kids that aren't even yours oh why am i even listening to you why don't you go home to your wife yeah and your family your your children okay please all right okay i'll do that but before i leave you my little tight ass friend what events are you being invited to these days nice look it's right there the proof is in the pudding weddings baby showers graduations bar mitzvahs quintiettas all that [ __ ] is right in there all right listen man the fun's over man you need to turn yourself in we'll see you tomorrow hey man before you do all other stuff make sure you order out the school fundraiser thing up in there man page number seven section c the chocolate eclairs that's my favorite i love you man punk ass [Music] uh [Music] you have no message [Music] oh you scared me jesus you can't just walk in here like this you start using the doorbell mom hello i have a key it doesn't matter if you have a chemo i'm grown oh man besides what if i was in here doing something doing something like what like i don't know man just like like cracking your fat couch hockey for one what doodle whacking hitchhiking to heaven what are you talking about your own best friend uncle custard's last stand my mom please oh i don't know where you're getting all this stuff on please stop okay and that's not what i'm talking about saying what if i was in here with a woman a lady oh please child everybody knows you haven't had a girlfriend since lisa left you and lord knows when you're going to move in from that [Music] you know sometimes sometimes i wonder about you you wonder what i don't know if you got to the point in your life where maybe you maybe you don't like women anymore whoa whoa whoa mom stop stop no no i i love women okay relax i love women okay i just i don't know i just haven't found anybody now have you decided what you're gonna do for your 30th birthday that's what i want to know cooking isn't it look it's just another birthday okay no it's not honey it's the 30 it's the dirty 30. it's time to settle down have a family let's have some kids okay i'm sorry i just i don't want you to be alone forever i'm not going to be alone oh so that's as a matter of fact i'm actually going to have a date tomorrow what shut up you are not i am what with whom [Music] um with a woman what no no i had lunch with in the city yesterday who is she what does she do what tell me she's a teacher [Music] so what school did she teach at i mean what she teaches um well we didn't get into that but she's an english teacher i do know that but we didn't talk about because we're probably going to talk about it on the date that we're going to have tomorrow right okay so all right so this is good this is good where are you gonna take her or what are you gonna do um i don't know i was i was thinking about something usual i'm just getting excited maybe movie dinner here it's so boring i've got it i've got a great idea check this out okay you invite her over and then i'll cook for you some of this good old grub then you can pretend like you cooked it for her and then she'll fall in love with you i mean how could she resist you're a great looking guy you've got this great house great job you live alone no kids and you can cook i can see i can see the wedding right now i can see it mom stop you're about to make me throw up okay i'm sorry i just i can't even cook scrambled eggs how am i gonna do that you know the best thing i don't even know how to make a salad oh who cares that doesn't matter you don't need to tell her all that in the beginning you know and then after she falls in love it'll be too late anyway you know what i'm saying my mother a scam artist [Music] anyway so so i was assessing your proposal that you know you were talking about the other day and i i i it is quite interesting and anyway you know you might make a little sentence oh you say it again wait what these i'm not repeating it you hurt me i'm just shocked because honestly i would have never thought you would be giving me props or something see my proposal my proposal so you're telling me you need me right just say can you just please can i hear you say you need me to hook you up with somebody i need you to listen to what i just said and then deliver whatever else you have to tell me about your proposal okay thank you right so you need me to hook you up none of your sleazy leftovers okay oh trust me man you're not worthy of any monster lazy leftovers but listen i do have a fresh line for fresh meat that's never ever been touched at least not by me just some serious i'm serious too man trust me okay let me see this all right all right here we go come here come here see this girl right here put your glasses on mr rogers you see this girl right here that's strawberry london she's so fine and then you got blueberry becky okay look look look and then you got my personal favorite right here you ready chocolate thunder [Music] you can't even see your face that's the whole point man you ain't gonna see her face anyway [Music] oh man listen you know what i'm sorry this was a bad idea man but thank you but no thank you oh here you go before you start judging okay i have you know strawberry london is actually a doctor okay okay soon to be she's in medical school and blueberry becky she's about to be a lawyer man look two great girls great head on their shoulders they fine right up your stuck up ass alley listen man i'm not going to date a stripper okay i don't even respect any woman that does that i don't care what anybody says but life cannot get that bad that you got to subject yourself to selling your body for money i don't judge okay everybody got a story i listen i got a story you ever had honey dripping off your chest for another man's pleasure don't judge me see that's the point why i told you that okay it doesn't matter listen i just try to help out but trust me blueberry becky is the one for you listen okay let me be clear i'm not going to date anybody name blueberry becky strawberry frosted flake chocolate thermo whatever you call in these girls london huh london if you're to disrespect these hoes you at least got to get their name right man but then again i don't even think you're ready for strawberry london okay and chocolate thunder you know i'm trying to bring some thunder on that so i'm gonna just say that for a rainy day but blueberry becky's the one for you trust me so yeah you're basically asking me to turn the hole into a house hey right that's so crass that's crass why would you say that man listen if anybody could save the whole i know it's you i know you got a cape up in your uh closet all right you just jump down have your penis out like i'm here to save you hoe come and tell me to refer to my just oh man stop talking about that p word one day though just one day all right one day one day one date oh wait wait wait blue bear beck is actually online right now yo what's up [ __ ] i mean blueberry baby my boy thank you yo she down she down she said she'll pick you up tomorrow eight o'clock well i don't have to go pick her up that's the beauty of it see it's already working in your benefit times are changing they picking us up now open my door you feel me let me hold some money okay well i guess i can dignity [Music] hi blueberry becky right rebecca charles actually oh okay rebecca i'm sorry um jesse he he told me um yeah i know how jessica can be oh you do right he's something that's something yeah jesse um oh yeah i'm sorry where are my manners um come inside please thank you wow your house is beautiful yeah i'm a stock broker a lot of hard work i bet it is yeah it is well look let me go get my jacket and we can leave i'll be right here all right man you are just gorgeous i i didn't expect you to look like this well what did you expect let me go get my jacket make yourself comfortable i will [Music] damn what time is that mata what's this tiffany's makes pans platinum yep [Music] all right oh well i lost because when i put my watch around here you didn't see your watch you don't need a watch we got cell phones now all right let's get it later don't even you look so good thank yous you ready yes let's go [Music] no no stop that's like your fifth drink i think you need to slow down right now i have a high tolerance for alcohol it's okay is there any more yeah it's it's all healthy drinked at all jesse tells me here a baseball player oh did he now he says you're gonna score a lot of goals for me is this true you don't watch baseball do you no i don't but are you gonna score for me cause you can score i'll let you score well i'm sorry i don't play baseball jesse was lying what yes i was gonna be on the next baseball wives you don't even have a baseball one exactly that was gonna be me you know what you're not eating this so i'm just gonna take it for a while but you still have your food over there i know but i'm i'mma eat that the foundation that i am built on is under honesty okay that's just strictly what i believe that's my that's my mantra okay and i i believe that most women i think are put off by a guy who's honest and not me well thank you because i'm glad and to be quite honest with you i don't think i could do this i can't do this you can't do this you can't do this uh-huh you could do this oh it's kind of tempting but you know i've been kind of been through a breakup so i'm think i'm fine right now you two [Music] me too just last week what about you five years in august wait what five wait up no wait one more two make it two no and a birthday cake it's his birthday it's it's not my birthday what are you doing no no no i'm down it's free it's free it's okay i don't care about that i don't care good i don't need any free cake right now [Music] you always need some free cake always you know what help yourself because i was thinking maybe on the ride home oh my god i could eat it later on jesus trust me on the way home you won't think um the the the in the bag i'm gonna save it well yeah got you um egg check please yo mm-hmm what was the emergency jesse can i get a good morning what's up what's up my grandma nothing no you cannot you call me at 6 00 a.m you know i know no i know that was early my bad okay but i came up with because i need a favor from you a favor yes so your crazy ass girlfriend comes stalking me uh no thank you that won't happen again i need you to spend one night with my friend please please bye jesse wait come on wait sam can you just please help me out you don't even know what it is yet now i'm not asking you to go across the moon and bring back some silver and diamonds i'll just ask you to spend some time with them you don't even have to have sex with them [Music] what's up man listen man i heard through the grapevine that uh you and becky hit it off last night huh are you serious hey be careful you ain't half monkey listen yes man listen she told me how freaky was man tying up and stuff you know what there's always some quiet ones i tied her hands up because she stole my watch and my favorite pin did she tell you that man you always talking about that hold on sanjaya what's your name i should come around here where i can see you always talking about that dang ol pen man i hate that pen what you always judging people that's your problem so did you ever think that she probably needed for school some work or something huh how about that the pen is not ugly and she stole from me okay and you're talking about i'm judging her okay yeah well she may be a little off she may be a little weird but guess what everybody got their problems man all right stop judging people everybody make mistakes you said it yourself all right it's all about making mistakes and making the imperfections in women perfect it's about love man jeez a thief thou shalt not steal remember that oh my god here you go with this jesus talk again hold on here we go again with this jesus talk again and stuff man what's this what are you doing listen you know what i'm closing the chapter on jesse to matchmaker all right no give me one more chance please man come on man just give me a chance don't leave don't don't give up on me man she's like all right man look man no strippers i got a girl she's perfect for you what does she do you know she's a counselor here at well she's a counselor here you're lying trust me man just trust me give me one more chance you love me all right man and this is the last time and after this you're gonna leave me alone and you're gonna let me stay in my complete solitude all right so i can live my life and be single until i decide to date all right bye hey where y'all parents at you said she needed everything right wow you know what you don't know potpourri okay oh it's pear yeah that's what i use it so anyway [Music] tell me more about yourself besides you know you're being a killer at night here you go [Laughter] what what's so funny you you the joke of calling my night job a killer it was cute in the beginning but the joke is over oh it's not funny anymore wait what's the joke the joke of you calling it a killer instead of it yo what is this i i mean uh you guys look amazing you look beautiful man you look very handsome you got wine you've got chips listen can i talk to you really fast outside please samantha yeah you i'm gonna talk all right one second what are you doing here hey man you look nice man i like this suit man let's get kirk franklin people say no yeah i mean well i just really wanted to wait don't change the subject matter get the sucker out your mouth what are you doing here all right truth be told i brought five dollars for her kind of having problems paying her back i just need to talk to her about you know extending that loan five dollars hey man people die with less yeah right yeah okay so yeah you're crazy have any sense excuse me outside please shut up shut up all right look here's your money right here okay whatever you do you do not tell him that you're an escort you are an after-school counselor okay back to school counselor what is wrong with you huh you can't lie about those kind of things oh are we gonna lie today no we are not i'm not lying listen the boy was in a bad relationship he got his heart broke he's still got an ice box where his heart used to be you got to go with me on this one no okay you know what i cannot sit here and kick it and lie to that man so guess what after tonight you can keep your money and find somebody else to look out for you gonna go in there [Music] you're lucky you're cute i've been letting you win this whole time oh cute now earlier i was handsome now i'm just cute you're just cute all right well look you don't know how to play the game all you got to do is admit it say breaking i don't know how to play whatever it's the wine all car is in there it's the wine whatever and you better drink up okay hey what depression to friendship and whatever else god has planned for us in our lives okay wait a minute so you're one of those perfect christian brothers huh no no no christian yes but you know perfect far from that but i do have faith and what everything that god does for me may not like them all and i'm not understanding but i do know that everything that's happened to me has served some type of purpose oh wow that's a good way to look at life i wish i could think like that how do you look at life [Music] like a curse like i'm walking in hell in my biggest nightmare and i have absolutely no idea how to get out but i'm working on it you know one step at a time right i'm sorry just i had a long week you have no idea just no no forgive me let's listen listen you you know we all have our moments all right yeah you know we're gonna have moments so well thank you just gotta take it one step at a time but you wanna know what i do when i get lost what open up my bible you know when i ask god for direction and the crazy thing is that every time i do that the verse that it lands on always is the one that i needed to see i never read the bible really yeah it's just the whole idea just confuses me it's like you read it but how do you know that message was for you and what it even means you don't you just just let it flow i mean it's just something that you feel in your heart i mean it's just it brings that that clarity that sense of peace to everything that you're going through when is your birthday april 20th shut up i'm the 19th no way yes i kid you not i promise wow 30 30. [Music] that's weird so what are your plans for your birthday ugh just another birthday to me i'm just trying to get my life together it's like i don't know you know when you're a kid it seems like time is going by so slow and then you blink and you're 29. yeah this just isn't where i pictured my life at 30 when i was a kid from real you know what you sound like what somebody that's been talking to jesse yes i have you too yeah he's giving me the same old speech he gave me a speech and it's like i i get him but i don't know where to start well just do it don't think about it just just do it just listen get out there get in the playing field in life and go for it whatever it is that you want you make it sound so easy it is easy for you to say mr stockbroker i'm sure you had it pretty good coming up hey look i may be a little fortunate but things weren't always easy you know i got my stover everybody asked one yeah yeah so what's missing from this semi-perfect puzzle of yours you want me to share it all with oh so so ah um what's that you want to see me yes have a seat [Music] what's up come on what you mean what's up i told you i quit is that so yes you give me this pathetic speech about how you want to get your life together and then you go and sleep with jesse's friend for 500 what wait a minute who told you that and i'm not having sex with him i didn't sleep with him you know what i don't need this i don't need it listen if you're gonna walk you'll walk but you are not going to do business on the side without me i ain't did no business on the side without you okay i needed the money oh you don't get it do you you're always going to need the money no matter how you think you're going to quit and move on with your life you can't erase your past and that desperation is always going to lead you right back here i mean come on let's get serious who else is gonna give you a job this is all you know we've all been used samantha that's not my name [Music] no matter how much makeup you put on all the fancy clothes you wear you'll always be samantha kim now i'll see you next week you leave my 20 on the table on the table [Music] well to the well well well my main man you know from the looks of things man you know you got your kirk franklin suit all on distraught you know and i'm assuming if my mind tells me correctly that you got that puss hey listen didn't i tell you to stop using that word around you and it answered your question no i didn't do anything we just went out to eat we had a great time came back here we talked for a minute we talked for hours wow you know we just slept together right here on the couch and then um it's one of the best times i've had in a long time thank you brother wait wait wait let's wait you mean to tell me you had a bad chick in the loft area which happens to be my favorite part of your crib on this couch and you didn't get the yams what was all this we had to talk what did you counseling each other talking about what are you doing oh no we just hold on what let me tell you what is this you you was quick what is this what's that listen this is this is from the kitchen you must have took it from down there well look listen wait but wait okay that's over with though because you know why my friend i've been doing life thinking i'm just being honest with you i don't think she was really too good for you anyway man i really don't we were talking about she was perfect as a matter of fact we have a lot in common you say what yeah uh-huh and she even left her number for me call her back she left her number for you yeah she did have it right here there it is and look she put a little heart right there okay you know what hey i'm thinking just don't even pay attention because it's trash man don't pay attention to that all right trust me you're wasting your time why let it go [Music] because she's an you know what oh my goodness i should have figured this out you like her too what you shouldn't have told me that you just know ricky man i do not like that girl trust me i do not like that girl bro and what's the problem look man you're my best friend all right man right when you heard i hurt when you cry i cry we cry together okay i'm just thinking you should just you know take things a little slow man that's all take things slow wasn't you the one that was telling me that my clock was ticking and i'm about to turn 30. come on man don't nobody care what i say i don't even know what i'd be saying i keep telling everybody this man 30 is the new 20. all right quit your prom man what has gotten into you nothing man nothing hello hello oh yeah hey yeah um oh no i was just um moving some things around um yeah i actually i i yeah i was expecting your call what how are you that's good tonight um let me check my schedule real quick yeah tonight actually we'll work out um eight o'clock 8 p.m okay yeah i'll see you then great bye oh my goodness that was so good yes wow who knew you could cook like that um well you know let's just say it's a special recipe for my mother you know i wanted to use it for a special occasion and i thought that you know this was that special time whoa what is that you're are you okay yeah i know i'm good [Music] you know um everything's in someone's eyes what are you talking about you can tell how someone's feeling by just looking in their eyes okay well what do my eyes tell you that you're going through something right now you don't want to talk about it you know um look i know we just met and uh i really had a good time last night but if you're going through something and you need to talk about it you know yeah [Music] really i really don't get it why are you single please help me understand why am i single well i was i was with my ex lisa for like five years and [Music] one day i just came home and she was gone she didn't leave a note she didn't leave uh she didn't call she didn't leave anything behind she just disappeared [Music] i don't know i guess i've just been a little closed off since then from trying to open up to anybody you know i've been scared i don't know i really treated her well too so let me get this straight you've been single now for five years yeah but i'm sure you you know have flings here and there for sex and stuff right no no flings definitely no in-betweens and no sex and you didn't even try to have sex with me i know guilty oh i get it no i got it now that's what tonight was for right to get me in bed huh you know what what was i thinking i am such an idiot wait what are you choking you really deserve two thumbs up you know you almost got me no listen wait what are you talking about i almost got you yes no you wait you you think i did all of this just to have sex with you or sleep with you i mean look i know we slept with each other but it was just we we just slept with each other we didn't do anything i come on that was my mother's secret recipe for crying out loud i wouldn't use my mother's secret recipe to have sex it's sacred in our family i can't my mother would kill me and she knew that i was abusing her okay all right all right and for all i know you brought this delicious cake over here that you said is your special cake that you would bake you probably did that to get me in bed i don't know i don't know your history with this cake good one i mean but it looks very sugary it is very sugary and it looks really good and delicious hmm [Music] you want to play a game a game yes a game um so we can get to know each other a little better you are too cute sure yeah okay cool so you gotta ask me a question or i ask you vice versa and you gotta pick a category so for example let me start off what's your favorite music jazz i like jazz jazz yes wow you never would have thought what about you rhythm and blues okay all right r b okay what's next okay well you go ahead and choose i choose okay oh wait you know what the first one was an example so i'll go ahead and choose this time so okay this is for real now thank you what's your favorite color favorite color black black yeah interesting what's yours okay um mines is yellow yellow yes whose favorite color is yellow yellow yellow yellow is bright is has a sense of harmony you know like the feng shui from who feng shui is basically talking about all the colors they give off great energy and life in general in all predictable ways huh you always want your colors to have some type of meaning in your life some type of clarity to bring balance into your life so what does black mean black is just black black is the street black is the night time without stars this is it's not even a color it's always dark yeah but you know anyway okay so let's keep going now you ask me a question oh i gotta go with sports sports fanatics favorite basketball team oh that's easy later oh i was hoping you said that kobe all day kobe all day long my girl [Music] [Applause] so my question is where are they going that's what i was thinking i'm going forever she she well you know forty dollars on the great home around that time thank you diggy long time now fishing for them i think it's time for you guys to get to school [Music] since the chrome mad and the tight purple shirt hey what girl man wears a tight purple shirt this guy right here first of all it's a comfortable comfortable purple shirt and purple is a clutch color a pleasantness yes i've only had a couple of drinks but let me repeat what i'm what i'm saying okay yeah i'm very comfortable in my shirt is the color of pleasantness okay listen you're in this medium backstreet boy shirt oh thank you very much and you're wearing wristbands for your exclusivity to all the clubs across the world hey hey first of all this is sex zombie all right this is croatia's number four top of the charts 1987. all right you you and you need to respect all right but hold on in glorious bastards what the hell is sex zombie what see you know what gets me about you people dumb no disrespect first off jason statham you got bacon collar on good call on the shirt it's that white people [ __ ] man rick heard you got a new lady yes i do and this man over here mr match making himself hook me up with me please do not give me too much props i do what i do when i can't do it cheers sir all right let me see a picture of this you know she your screen saver go and show it off let me see this thing come on man check it out she's bad right she looks really familiar no she's i mean everybody looks like yeah everybody looks familiar i swear i've seen her before okay don tell us where have you seen him before have you seen it tell us yeah i don't know maybe i've seen her on the internet or something oh you know you have to remember everybody has a social networking site man yeah yeah maybe that's it maybe i don't know ah maybe it's like a webcam something like that not a webcam man trust me dom um i've known this girl a long time she's a good girl good girl good work for kids only thing you probably seen doing the webcam is raising money for kids man charity work something like that she's a good girl dog yeah okay no no no i'm gonna call you so that's that's how you're gonna play this thing that's how we play all right all right fine hey you might as well go ahead and put in because you're just going to be donating to the dominic bank all right well you're about to go bankrupt yeah i tell you what i think everybody's going to go bankrupt you know rick uh listen man all seriousness you really should uh i swear i've seen that girl before man like i'm just saying she's trouble like they all are but maybe she's a little more than most if my memory serves me right check her out just check her out that's all i'm saying man well there's only one thing i can say about that how little baby ball out check that you're so mean you are so mean yeah well it is what it is that is what it is huh i've been here damn near 20 years you think you're just gonna come in here and meet some guy fall in love with him have a little prince charming y'all just gonna go away together come on samantha face it you're a [ __ ] you're [ __ ] you are such a hypocrite one minute you praising me the next minute you put me down and think you can't sabotage my relationship yeah you've been here a little bit too long this this whole situation has completely destroyed you you are disgusting to me you call me a hypocrite now you walking in you won't even say what you are what you aren't and you come in here you ungrateful [ __ ] i took you off the streets you would not have gotten anywhere without me you know what you ain't even worth it look at you i may not know who i am yet but i know who i don't want to become and that's you you ain't nothing but an old miserable woman who preys on young naive girls to get them to follow your pathetic paths have a nice life linda daniels oh i'm sorry victoria jackson i bet no one knows who she is yo where have you been i've been calling you we had reservations since nine o'clock i forgot you forgot yeah you just left here at six o'clock and said you was going to get ready what are you talking about i did and then something came up all right well just forget about it cause i i was just concerned okay i thought something might have happened to you look i don't know if i can do this i'm not good for you wait wait a minute where's this coming from what are you talking about vicky i stood you up turned my phone off on purpose look i don't know what you're going through because you don't ever talk to me look let's look at me please look at me eventually you're gonna have to break down that wall and let somebody in damn it ricky you just don't get it do you well then why don't you help me get it i am not good enough for you okay you have your whole life figured out and i'm still lost [Music] why don't you tell me what's really going on now what's really going on you want to know what's going on yeah okay i can't we just lay down please yeah all right hey korea come here so just relax right here what the hell are you out of your damn mind i can't walk away oh my god are you are you serious you think two nights has obviously turned into three weeks look at me sammy he's never gonna take you serious you're an escort don't you understand that okay first of all i quit and we don't need to tell him about my picture that's what i can't do that because that's my best friend okay so what you need to do is you need to pack your bags you need to go disappear never come back yeah and do the same exact thing that lisa did to him now i can't do that well you need to tell the truth how about that oh but i like them so much jesse no please don't make me tell them look i've never met anybody like him before okay he makes me feel special like i'm worth something please just hear me out that's because he doesn't know what your going rate is for and you costing me a lot of money so with that said you need to just get your [ __ ] you need to leave never come back either you tell him or i will okay wow okay my going rate huh fine i'll tell them today [ __ ] thank you and if you get your stuff together i might have a job for you later clean yourself up all right and take that doggone rag off your head you ain't no you ain't cinderella jesus so do you need to fix the disruption what time is she supposed to be coming uh oh i don't know she should have been here already no okay sneaked yeah let me call it again i mean maybe she had to work late or something i don't know i don't know see [Music] that's funny our phone is dead i've been trying to call her for the past half hour and she did say she had to work earlier that's what i'm saying that she probably have to stay late at work well um i don't have hope i don't leave your windows open let me see i don't i don't think i have i actually i do have a word number it's the first number she called me from about a week ago so let's see boom there it is let's get this show on the road s m escort services this is linda how may i satisfy your needs perfection [Music] hey so so what's up what's happening um not that she she left work late so all right well good so we'll get the show on the road because i cannot wait to meet this woman this woman who's made my son so happy yeah s m escort services this is linda how may i satisfy your needs yeah samantha kim it'll be all right oh the man just loved her [Music] it's okay give me your hair now you're here now oh my god there's the two cards right there 405 and then my phone died such a pleasure to meet you oh my god oh you're the one that's making my son so happy hey what's up i don't know what's up with you you talked to you talked to you today no i didn't told you jessie but you want to talk about talking to linda linda oh linda let me tell you about linda i'm saying her boss wow she's a sweetheart yeah she really is she said you're number one in the company yeah you are the number one teacher that is who would have thought oh no not [Music] but didn't you say that she's a teacher no no i've gotten it confused i'm uh after school i teach english tutoring oh yeah yeah she does she does a lot of tutoring she does she tutors the hell out of her students okay so you do after school counseling as well but not teaching okay but it's always tutoring okay so you must really love kids yeah that's great i'll put you to do a little french too right let me speak a little bit he's so funny yeah his name is my boy oh my god i'm starving i bet you are you have any kids yeah i do well not actually my kid but i adopted my nephew with my mom and my i said should they pass away for accident oh my god yeah god i'm so sorry to hear that that's okay thank you though wow wow why didn't you bring him oh he's with his dad oh i see yeah wow yeah well i hear you make a mean cake ricky has been bragging on it yes he did and i have to admit that i am a little jealous no oh stop you do not have to be jealous i'm serious better than me i don't know about all that i don't know about all that but i'm sure well i could get the dessert and we'll see okay that sounds good all right i will keep [Music] my okay is here and voila here we go [Music] oh he looks so doesn't look too bad does he hey can we go outside and talk with just a second now we'll just go outside and talk for a second mom we'll be right back and we're going to enjoy dessert so when were you going to tell me that you were paid for higher prostitute um excuse me you know what i just said well you must do this with all your clients huh well obviously because i called and they said that you were the number one escort well that's good for you because you should give us something okay just let me explain okay i can explain to you how much you jesse pay you would you calm down your mom is in there how much did jesse hey you answer the question how much 500. damn you cheap not what you think okay he didn't pay me to hang out with you any other night except for the first night okay i wanted to be there i wanted to be with you throw money at me don't do me any favors i this should cover all your troubles i don't want your money just when do i get my answer jesse okay look leave jesse out of it it's not his phone he's gonna leave after the first night but i couldn't because i was falling for you and you were falling for me too okay you gonna walk away [Music] i'm sorry okay [Music] i left the envelope in your drawer in your office just please read it and just hear me out just hear everything i got to say okay you have no idea [Music] so [Music] i don't know why i'm doing this song but this one definitely has no meaning but here it goes [Music] what's up man i see you found your way inside my house yeah i know man look i just came over to say i'm sorry okay i didn't mean things to turn out the way they did i was just trying to look out for one boy and things got out of hand you're a great person man you did things the right way and it's like i looked like i lived to you sometime all right hey relax jesse am i right okay it was meant to happen wait so you're not mad at me nah i'm over it so have you talked to her yeah she's gonna come back later on with her nephew hmm nephew well look man i just came by to see i'm sorry all right gotta get home to the wife yeah i gotta get home to the wife man i'm trying to this whole monogamous whatever that word is thing i'm trying to do it right maybe she'll stop complaining as much she do you know hey we're good for you thank you man see you later yeah tell your wife for saying hello will do and your kids not my kids man still ain't changed [Music] [Laughter] cool let me get in josh josh baby come on let's go josh baby come say bye to mr ricky he never wants to leave all right let's go over there wait no ricky look i love you okay i am in love with you and i know all we can be as friends but that's not what i want okay a friend a friend once told me that we may not like what's going on and we may not understand it but either way it happens for a reason meeting you was not a mistake okay and if it was it was the best mistake in my life i don't know about you but i'm willing to take a step of faith okay don't just look at me please say something say something please anything just i want you to love you dad [Music] [Music] so uh what you're cooking in there i am baking caitlin the cake is her birthday [Music] i am so happy the two you worked things out me too so have you made any plans for your 30th birthday tomorrow i'm stopping with that no look it's just another birthday for me no it's not it's the dirty thirty he's trying to tell you listen come on now cookie i am looking at you i'm good look i'm i'm i'm happy with everything i have you know that i'm good man trust me all right you always worry so so what'd you get her that's what we should be talking about i got to address wow wow somebody's in love stop [Music] she's so silly i can't talk uh but of course you may see me mom you look beautiful i do thank you you look amazing thank you so are you ready to celebrate your 30 30. you know what yes i am all right so let's start off with a toast what are we toasting to um josh grab your glass i have some water for you what are we talking to we're chosen to love our family and the next generation of love [Music] god sorry say about true gentlemen and also an embracing life the next generation and whatever else god has planned for our lives i like that me too oh the best part okay the best part is coming yeah okay really [Music] well i know i'm not a pro but um you did not bake this cake are you serious i sure did bacon cake no i did i did i picked the cake that's the cake okay um still only mine for tomorrow mm-hmm and you're picking that uh-huh that was that's the catch for this yeah mm-hmm all right here you go okay let you know i'm gonna be a critic [Music] um okay did your mom help you bake this cake yes she did no she did this is all me okay i paid attention i see i'm impressed all right come here oh am i in trouble no you're in a lot of trouble i'm in a lot of trouble [Music] so where's the birthday girl at man oh happy birthday kayla oh thank you what's up man you look beautiful oh thank you smell good too all right keep your nose y'all be back i got a surprise so you ready for your dirty dirty man hmm don't remind me i know happy birthday happy birthday man why are you doing it make a wish let's make a wish so i want to be light-skinned i knew it that that's what yeah but it's a brown cake okay time to celebrate let's go you can get some of that seat over there hey hey hey no food here now you knew i was coming over here we're not supposed to be here this soon this was intimidating thank you when you got a little boy right there well he's a part of us you are not supposed to be here this early you know they talk about stuff like that or more you're having sex with the kids um yeah you should actually get the hair off your eyebrow and you've been around kids just now so what do you have here on yahoo [Music] hey relax i'm only doing this because this is my place your place relaxation my premises so don't follow my lead all right let's go oh i'm turning over new league so you should too yeah that is good man mm-hmm it's crazy isn't it yep you finally turned yourself in man i'm proud of you man you make it sound like i'm about to walk through some prison doors or something you are trust me man all right you are going to prison for life only difference is you're not waking up next to a whole bunch of guys you're waking up to one crazy woman who's probably watching you sleep one of you having dreams about another woman oh my god and wait till she gets pregnant oh everything you do is wrong i breathe and i'm wrong hey relax please don't incorporate your life with mine i think we're going to be fine just keeping it real man but thank you thank you you're welcome i appreciate your realness wow ricky man what's up we've been through a lot man and uh i want you know man i'm i'm happy for you you deserve to be happy you're a good man man and no matter what i say no matter what i do i'm always good for you your family man hey don't get all sentimental on me like my mom man man forget you man yeah so i guess i made the cutoff time my friend you made the cutoff time man you did i didn't think he was gonna make it but since you did make it you ready to go to vegas you ready to go turn up uh-huh get some midgets some butt naked horses or something man some crap some black jacks some spades some sudden jack-of-horses son donkey one-night stands and the donkeys and um all of the rest of the stuff but we turn we're turning we're turning in okay so we're turning on a regular balance but let me tell you something no strippers oh man come on man oh strippers listen i forgot to tell you chocolate done and i'm gonna be out there too man what but it's because they're celebrating strawberry london's master degree okay oh man to celebrate too i thought you were turning over your new leaf i am what's all that man but i just got this itch that it's just like i don't know man it's just like they look they're gonna be out at the same time we all i didn't control this the universe controlled this so the universe want me to get that last minute [ __ ] and i'm asking you from my friend one more night and i turn in with you all right and then you know what what else we're going to do we're going to turn in that word the p-u-s-s-y word we're going to really turn that in and i know what you want to do ricky we're turning that word in what do you want to call it because i think the universe is asking you to go to an a.a meeting do you want to call it a vagina passion glowing eye i want to call it what it is a vagina marriage [Music] bye [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Movie Central

Views: 2,098,110

Keywords: watch, free, movies, online, Turner, TCM, youtube, download, full, movie, films, classic, 70s, 80s, 60s, sci-fi, horror, drama, latest, retro, b-grade, funny, comedy, hollywood, worst, ever, popcornflix, bigtime, goldmines, Free movies on Youtube, Hollywood movies, Classic, Movies, free full movies, Classic Movies Channel, CMC, CMC YouTube, Sean Riggs, The Dirty 30, Nafessa Williams, movies with all black actors

Id: tZV9ePuFXNw

Length: 72min 33sec (4353 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 24 2020