The Daily Show - The Curious Case of Flight 370

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW". MY NAME IS JON STEWART. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE'RE BACK. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US. OUR GUEST TONIGHT OH, SHE PUTS THE HUFF IN HUFFPO. ARIANNA HUFFINGTON WILL BE OUR GUEST TONIGHT. BUT FIRST, FOR WEEKS THE BIG STORY HAS BEEN THE MISSING MALAYSIA AIRLINES FLIGHT. TODAY SATELLITE DATA SEEMS TO HAVE CONFIRMED THE WORST. I THINK WE ALL FEARED THIS STORY WOULD END IN TRAGEDY, AND SO EARLY ON WE TURNED TO THE NEWS MEDIA FOR A SENSE OF SOBER CLARITY. >> AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS IN SOUTHEAST ASIA HAVE LOST CONTACT WITH A JUMBO JET CARRYING 239 PEOPLE. WE'RE OF COURSE DOING ALL WE CAN TO GET AS MANY DETAILS AS POSSIBLE FROM OUR SOURCES AROUND THE REGIONS AND THE WORLD. >> Jon: THIS ACCURATE AND HUMBLE ASSESSMENT FROM CNN UNTIL THEY REALIZED OH, (bleep) WE HAVE 23 HOURS AND 59 MINUTES LEFT TO FILL. [ LAUGHTER ] (bleep) IT LET'S GO NUTS. AND THEY DID. WITH EVERYTHING IN THEIR BAG OF TRICKS. GIANT FLOOR MAPS. BIG FAKE AIRPLANES. LITTLE FAKE AIRPLANES. HOLOGRAPHIC AIRPLANES. NO AIRPLANE DETAIL LEFT UNSPOKEN. >> A PLANE LIKE THIS IS AROUND 61, 62 METERS END TO END. 61-62 SIDE TO SIDE. >> Jon: YOU ARE TELLING THEM WHAT A PLANE LOOKS LIKE? [LAUGHTER] DID YOU FORGET WHO WATCHES CNN? YOU COULD TELL 90% OF YOUR VIEWERS LOOK OUT THE AIRPORT WINDOW AT THE PLANE THEY ARE ABOUT TO GET ON. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT, OF COURSE -- [ APPLAUSE ] THERE'S A SAYING CNN IS POPULAR AT AIRPORTS. [LAUGHTER] OF COURSE MAN DOES NOT LIVE BY HOLOGRAM ALONE. GIVE ME A SIX BOX, FLANK IT, NOW STUPID ME. >> PEOPLE ARE ASKING ABOUT BLACK HOLES AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ALL OF THESE CONSPIRACY THEORIES NOHA SAYS WHAT ELSE CAN YOU THINK? BLACK HOLE? BERMUDA TRIANGLE? AND THEN DEJI SAYS IT'S JUST LIKE THE MOVIE LOST. I KNOW IT'S PREPOSTEROUS BUT IS IT PREPOSTEROUS, DO YOU THINK, MARY? [LAUGHTER] >> Jon: DON'T ANSWER, MARY IT'S A TRAP. [ LAUGHTER ] SOME SORT OF WEIRD BERMUDA TRIANGLE OF LOGIC WHERE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED BEFORE THEY ARE ASKED. [LAUGHTER] >> A SMALL BLACK HOLE WOULD SUCK IN OUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE. SO WE KNOW IT'S NOT THAT. THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS OFTEN WEATHER AND LOST IS A TV SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jon: WELL -- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] -- I KNOW IT'S A TV SHOW BUT IS IT, MARY? [LAUGHTER] LOOK AT ME, MARY. MARY, LOOK AT ME! [LAUGHTER] IS IT? [LAUGHTER] YOU HAVE TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE STUDIO, MARY, LEVEL WITH ME, MARY. [ LAUGHTER ] WOW, DID THAT LOWER THE BAR, CNN. BUT I THINK YOU CAN GO LOWER. >> INVESTIGATORS SOMETIMES USE PSYCHICS. WHY HASN'T ANYONE CONSIDERED THE SERVICES OF A CREDIBLE PSYCHIC SPECIALIZING IN MISSING PERSONS? IT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE BUT THEY HAVE BEEN USED BEFORE. >> Jon: YEAH, WHILE WE'RE AT IT WHY NOT USE THAT OCTOPUS THAT ALWAYS PREDICTS THE WORLD CUP VICTOR? WHY DON'T WE STRAP SOME WINGS TO WOLF BLITZER AND LET HIM LOOSE BECAUSE IN ORDER TO CATCH A PLANE YOU MUST BECOME A PLANE. [LAUGHTER] CNN'S MISSING AIRLINE OBSESSION NOT ONLY DOUBLED THEIR PRIMETIME RATINGS IT ITSELF BECAME NEWS BECAUSE THE ONLY THING LESS LIKELY THAN AN AIRPLANE DISAPPEARING OUT OF THE SKY IS CNN'S RATINGS DOUBLING. >> SPECULATION HAS BEEN REPLACING HARD FACTS IN NEWS COVERAGE EARLIER THIS WEEK CNN ANCHOR DON LEMON BROUGHT UP THE THEORY SOMETHING QUOTE SUPERNATURAL COULD BE AT PLAY. >> THE NETWORK IS IN DIRE RATINGS TROUBLE. THEY GET A PULSE. OKAY. SO THE EXECUTIVES ORDER YOU GUYS HAVE TO DO THIS WALL TO WALL. >> Jon: YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL O'REILLY OR FOX'S COVERAGE OF CNN'S OVER COVERAGE WILL BE COVERED -- BY CNN. NEWS LOOP! >> WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF BILL O'REILLY SPEAKING WAY HE DID? >> I THINK HE IS NERVOUS BECAUSE HE LOST IN THE DEMO THE YOUNGER VIEWERSHIP THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW LAST WEEK AND HE STARTED GETTING NERVOUS. >> Jon: WE ALL KNOW MOST OF O'REILLY'S YOUNGER VIEWERS ARE COMING INTO THE ROOM TO MAKE SURE THEIR GRANDPARENTS ARE STILL BREATHING. [ LAUGHTER ] I DON'T -- [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I THINK IT DOESN'T COUNT, ONCE THEY PUT THEIR HAND ON THE CHEST, DOES THAT COUNT?

Channel: Comedy Central

Views: 3,003,060

Rating: 4.9192948 out of 5

Keywords: Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, Daily Show videos, the daily show, jon stewart, john stewart, comedy central politics, the daily show episodes, comedy central, stand up comedy, comedians, comedy central comedians, comedy, funny, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, stand up videos, funny jokes, funny clips, hilarious videos, hilarious clips

Id: krFN7jHKNNo

Length: 5min 21sec (321 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 25 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/DankSpanking]

I so miss him. I watched him all the time. Made me actually like watching news lol

[u/Nixjohnson]

Jon Stewart’s ability to inflict bodily harm when he lands a punchline may never be duplicated.

[u/mcthornbody420]

Downvoted.. lol.