the cringiest D&D things I've witnessed

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could use for whatever you want so overall it's a win go check it out with the link down below the bounty hunters throw you a sack of gold it's about 500 GP nice so what should we do next oh don't look at me I don't want to met a game I played this adventure before Oh okay uh well we could use that goal already on it is there a blacksmith around here yeah um you see a sign it has an anvil and I'm gonna go in there okay uh you head in and you see a human yeah you see human and he says what can I do for you I'm looking for a great sword magical if you have it he turns back behind him to a forge uh Hey Edith we got any magic great swords and then popping up from the forge is his wife who says uh no but I can make one though so he interesting huh you um decided to make the blacksmith couple hetero what um in when I read it in the book uh it's it's set it should be in there like it says oh like if you like I don't know just like read it again or something oh yeah yeah Edith is his husband I didn't even see the blurb that mentions his pronouns yeah yeah it's I mean obviously it turns he would he would have turned to his husband and said that to him because he wanted a magic great sword hey do we hey my husband do we have any he wouldn't say he wouldn't say my husband he would just you see his husband respond with uh we can make magic great swords I'm so sorry but you don't have to I um it just can I still get my sword you're telling me you don't know anything about the Dragon Cult never heard of a vote to do anymore well what haven't we done we try to get an audience with the baron which was impossible we tried to do this beach cookout where we would talk to people in the city who all happen to know absolutely nothing about this and we tried to investigate the sewers where we found absolutely nothing those are just some normal sewers we did happen to find another cultist but he ran away we couldn't catch up to him and where did he go guess what the sewers maybe there's an entrance in the sewers you don't remember when we tried that maybe we overlooked something I think we should just leave what we can't find anything we can't accomplish anything there's no leads this is impossible maybe we're just not supposed to do this yet so you're just gonna leave where are you going back to Goldcrest okay you leave and on the next day along the road you actually hear that there was some news that came from the city and uh Dragon God Tiamat was summoned and half the City's population is dead and the rest are now refugees cool dude don't get mad at me you guys are the ones who left how are we supposed to figure that one out it's a mystery sorry I uh crafted a really good one but you guys never thought to interrogate the merchant whose store was above the sewer entrance we did he gave us nothing and where have you seen that before non-compliance gee I wonder no he was Charmed that's why his eyes were yellow I know it was a pretty tough one there's been nobody in this game with yellow eyes what even well now you guys are just gonna have to deal with the consequences Tia Matt has been Unleashed I am really low on HP same all right let's just head back and get a long rest all right you all head back to your keep and relax for the rest of the day I'm mostly making preparations for the goblin attack tomorrow yes you all recoup this evening with the feeling of dread and fear sort of hanging in the air with who each of you do during this moment I think Sarah is like pacing a lot and he's just trying to play out every possible scenario right like what happens if they attack through the back door or what if they decide to go through the hey it's there come on we've been successful up to this point in time I mean what's the worst that could happen right but there's always that chance uh What uh what about you Oliva yeah I'm at my family's home where Tressa lives my girlfriend in case you forgot right so then I would probably say that oh what oh sorry oh no go ahead oh okay like I said we're probably making love um it's not very rough it's very soft and passionate and I'm definitely like whispering in her ear a little bit and afterwards we're just sweaty and I whisper into her ear again you know tonight could be my last night and Tressa looks down and just softly weeps and we hold each other in the Embrace and eventually just it turns into sobbing and our tears are just running down our bodies intermingling with the various other fluids that okay where is he the pit fiend Grouch he's staring at you from his Airship about 200 feet away that's too far for the two of us maybe we could get closer no he'll destroy our sails we'll plummet okay um well maybe we could stealth over we could use the skipper I'm shooting him what I have a 600 foot range 12. Miss and he sees that you fired at him and begins to advance dude okay I guess we could just try this Skipper plan and we can instill my turn right yeah I'm Gonna Fly the skipper over there oh uh do we have no way over there now you guys could jump on I'm going straight in yeah that's a bad idea I'm staying here okay you fly over it is 400 feet of movement okay zoom over here right on top of them second attack 23. you hit yes even with Sharpshooter so 25 damage yeah right above him Arrow just flies right into his shoulders he's pretty angry but he's still up uh he's going to fly up on his turn and make four attacks on you uh bite is a 30. claw is a 17. mace is a 31 and the tail is a 32 yeah they all hit all right uh RollerCon safe that's an eight anybody get an inspiration yeah no sorry I'm saving it okay okay you aren't immune or resistant to fire poison are you no you take a total of 99 points of damage and then at the start of your turn you're gonna take 21 poison damage and you can't regain him I'm dead thanks I'm dead thank you thank you guys it's a hit fiend we were planning I had a plan you're instant dead yeah I'm instant dead I was alone hey it's okay it's okay we can just put you into death saves instead of being instant dead I don't think anybody cares I'm done you don't have to have to you're I use a single point of lay on hands on Harvard oh thank you your backup and at the end of your turn the room begins to shake Rumble crumbling from the ceilings my fly spell runs out I'm still on the ground but our only exit is the way we came in that portal is across the room right 200 feet away I'm out of spell slots I've got one left dimension door that's fourth I've only got a second uh I can click my boots and get you both out of here well I'm small so I weigh 80 I weigh 190. oh well no sense in getting us all killed don't just take him and get out of here I can figure something out are you sure we made a bond we died together not this time you have to go on wait wait remember the time we were in the dungeon with the rats yeah how did we escape uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh I I can't reduce as you all begin to say your goodbyes this may be the last time you see one another as a party a beam of sunlight begins to light up the entirety of the ruins and you see an Angelic form begin to descend downwards he has these unfurled wings that float downwards he wields a sword of sunlight is this he looks down on each of you then Lambs on the ground looks like you guys could use some help is this your character from the last campaign maybe he goes over and picks you up Harvin and flies towards the exit let's not keep hope waiting shall we whoa you're kind of cute uh oh did I say that out loud oh God then suddenly the enormous magma Elemental bursts from the ground and um and Gerard just like isn't paying attention he's just holding you Harvin he's just staring into your eyes as he's flying you know the elemental he looks down at you like what what's wrong it's right behind me isn't it I think I choose to die same

Channel: XP to Level 3

Views: 946,912

Keywords: dnd, d&d, dungeons and dragons, how to, tutorial, funny, monk, fighter, 5e, player, book, dm, dungeon master, roll, ranger, rogue, paladin, cleric, barbarian, bard, wizard, sorcerer, warlock, artificer, mystic, skits, idea, character, stats, build, new, tips, gm

Id: rnWoEOdq2ic

Length: 11min 1sec (661 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 05 2023