The Church of Kyle | PKA

I don't want it to feel any better than it already does like wouldn't woody we just talked about it before how light like he's recommended condoms to people over and over he said hey you'll last a little longer especially young people right you know if you mention yeah don't put that out there into the zeitgeist we're strongly anti condom on this show you listen to Taylor all you want unless you want to ruin your sex oh I've seen many men fall prey to this Taylorism that you're seeing work it's Matt orchards work it's dark magic on here I'm not convinced he hasn't been cursed alright I have seen young strong virulent men men who went out and could and got found different women every week if they wanted to or long-term girlfriends if they wanted to had all the free time to travel the country be out when they wanted to be talked about generally here is a rotten mouth [ __ ] hillbilly I'm talking about people like Scott for example or a number of people that I grew up with you know what high school where like a lot of the good-looking fit guys it's like oh look I go go get married at not two years old that smart in it hey I'm barely even have a fully developed brain let me just rule laughs trust me I'm almost up almost 34 years old here I have made the right decision in this regard all right you do know I am responsible for nothing now you may say oh but my laughs I feel so unfulfilled you know my kill death ratio is at our cub you [ __ ] that kill death ratio will take care of you I love when they bring up that rash now that's the greediest most selfish reason for procreation and marriage you just said you didn't want to do it so you do whatever you want all the time Touche could be your servant and nursemaid I was making a joke about you know you weren't you always bring that one up you're literally it could be an alone and when you die and and and oh somebody will have to look after me when I'm sick I better lock somebody down for life I better get a full lifetime contract with somebody so they haven't watched enough videos of nursing homes where the [ __ ] employees are just will just walk up and just some old [ __ ] geezers face for no reason I know that the tarkov kill death ratio is not going to mean anything in five years because your kill death ratio made me more and another video game five years five years ago right right Kyle am I right about that you think that's what I call a joke walking yourself down for life with one human being you wouldn't do that to a [ __ ] car you liked you wouldn't do it if you liked the car you wouldn't do it with a pet or a house or any other thing but and all of those things stay the same forever you can get a new fender you can get a new you can go to brick over the vinyl siding you can is your [ __ ] a human being is just a degrading slab of meat the old stories from every year I figured I think you're gonna have here a new [ __ ] anecdote from Becky after year five no you're just gonna have to talk about your sitcoms you watch together oh that was a funny one wasn't it Becky it sure was no I'm saying marriage is bad for everyone you shouldn't design on board what I'm saying is don't [ __ ] sign on the dotted line at 19 years old or 20 years old wait till you're at least 6065 wait you're at least 25 ideally wait till 30 all right your brain isn't even your little brain is literally not developed until you're like 25 26 years old that's just science it really isn't this is really good it's good advice because I was married at 22 I was known for you I was married 23 and I was married for two years and my partner changed a ton and I didn't and yeah it didn't go well at all we got a divorce and that was one of those things that that's why I'm saying this is good advice I think from Kyle did you have to pay for her lawyer no not at all no it was it was a very amicable split it was totally flat but he's he's on the the good spectrum of things the rest of you boys will probably be paying for her lawyer - yeah yeah Kyle's right about that there could be a lot of problem so I've gone through it totally right it's great - wait that's a that could be your motto Kyle it's great - wait it's great - wait it's great it's never too late no Graham it's never too late - wait how about that it's never too late - wait Kyle um let me just pitch this let's say you want to have kids right you're gonna be married to this let's say I want to be a dinosaur continue but you can imagine a world in which somebody wants to have kids not you but you know where we're giving advice to abroad - more respect from the people here now what she looks like for the rest of her life is different she bounces back at 25 in a way that she doesn't when this 37 year old has kids you no need to marry a third year old woman you don't go and get a 1955 fender to replace though when you get a new one that's just been printed off the line kakan told that 2020 fender for her so Mason called you're in your third but she can be in her 20s or teens I mean 19 is a good year you know I'm thinking you could pop drink this is contradictory advice though because you're saying way to not marry yourself until 30 but then you want to marry a woman who's 19 so but you're also giving advice to a 19 year old that shouldn't be made so she's gonna wait it at least till she's 25 week so are you downing on her to make a lot of poor decisions circle folks look don't lock yourself down you have no idea that the adventures that are yet to come you can make a prostitute eat dog [ __ ] $5,000 bigger bet that the maker she'll do it willingly live in the dream Taylor that's the dream that you're forgoing it says maybe I'll just do that I'll just live Kyle style and have no responsibilities everything's me a man here the Arkoff Cady if you've never [ __ ] an 18 year old Filipino while she was wearing her tutu from ballet practice and hiding from her parents in a dirty motel room you're not living the Kyle dream all right you've got to go hard in the paint hard in the paint and ID these are always ID just say I don't want to do the it's a rough and ragged Road you got to survive a little bit for the prison but for the few who can there are rewards like what are the rewards like you don't like a [ __ ] every time and video games and [ __ ] young women they eat poop Oh or drink come you'd be shocked I'm talking I would be I don't think I would be shocked I think I'd probably be like yeah that's about right Kyle's trying to make this sound cool and it doesn't sound good settle down then breeder I mean if I'm being boring I'll just do it like the Spartans and - them upon the rocks that's the Kyle lifestyle you know I get a free Italian tip at Jersey Mike's if you go through yeah thanks for coming on that see kid ever a little bit does he ever make you self doubt and think that the Kyle Larson does yeah like yeah he does but I'm too bullheaded listen to the divorcee sacrifice the greatest years of your short life we're no I'm kidding we're here for a very short finite life and and such a small percentage of that are we at our best and our both our physical mental and financial peak and as as men especially but as human beings in general we should try to grasp that with both hands and hang on to it for as long as we can and enjoy it enjoy the fruits of life the pleasure that is given to us on on this earth by God or fate or the universe or just plain [ __ ] dumb luck for as long as we can that's why you should give a prostitute five thousand dollars to eat dogs or your own [ __ ] or any [ __ ] you can find all right get your look if you find a zookeeper that the world's your oyster there's a lot of wisdom in this Taylor what you don't doesn't mean a couple of pork rinds if you might as well be signing your own death warrant you if you sign on that line which is dotted when you're 2530 years old or something like that just go ahead and lock it all in and say yeah yeah life for me of being the free version of me is over now I'm going to transition into a more restrictive but perhaps more rewarding in some in some ways version of me just ask yourself for a question wouldn't that version be available in five more years imagine the horror of a deep connection with some woman who wakes up in the morning and makes you valentine shape toad-in-the-hole but what what an awful life that would be right yeah nothing like a that same lady there that you've known for thirty years making you a five-dollar breakfast [ __ ] that go to Waffle House breakfast you well they're not made with love Kyle they're made with lust lust there's a Hispanic line cooked beating off into the batter for guess it comes down to whether you think relationships get better or worse over time right Alice described repeatedly this notion that like oh my god she has no new antiqued oats five years in but I like I like old [ __ ] you know I my Leatherman means more to me when it's five or ten years old that it does the day I got it and so it was my wife I loved office reruns woke a nice nothing like seeing if Jim and Pam will get together for the 70th [ __ ] time or maybe just want some new [ __ ] boys you you have to be the judge this is about your life not mine not his certainly not Taylor's because he's just he's just a ball a trash rotating around the rim and for some reason he's staring at it going Kobe [Laughter] if a basketball goes in the hole you win but but this is trash going in septic 'el so if it goes in you lose well if she can put up with five or six more run throughs a king of the hill will see she's only made it through one so far I won't know if she's the wood that's how well no sir

Channel: PKA Clips

Views: 48,233

Rating: 4.9184861 out of 5

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Id: OrvA6SpEzLE

Length: 13min 33sec (813 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 23 2020