"The Child Who Is Not Embraced By The Village Will Burn It Down To Feel The Warmth" (r/AskReddit)

African proverb says the child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel the warmth what time in your life have you been closest to starting the fire I had a co-worker at a non-commissioned based retail job where a co-worker would repeatedly sabotage my sale so she could get a lot of credit apps and a high GSP AVG H our sales she would overhear my pitch for cards required and then lighter the customer so they would apply I would have to try and rectify what she said while she hovered over me she did many other questionable things and I reported to her multiple times as did my co-workers and customers now one time I got lucky and an eighty new kid came in yo buy the most expensive desktop we have on display 2.5 k she saw me do the sale but I needed a manager to approve a tiny discount but my radio was dead coworker was watching me the entire time so I asked if she'd call for the monsignore she stone-cold ignores me I go for the MGR she prints out paperwork on the computer and tries to sell it to him when I return she literally yells at me in front of the customer to give her the sale b/c she worked - I ignored her and didn't give her the sale when I reported this as did the customer he was mortified I was literally told by my boss ignore when she does that she's a middle child so she does stuff like that I was tired of the stupid lack of action so I filed an our complaint regarding her and five of my managers for not addressing it they all got reamed for it only one is still in a management position the rest were eventually demoted or laid off 16 years old finally decided to fight back against abusive parents only had to do it once to stop the physical abuse the brain Frisch's kept happening it's so terrible when the people that are supposed to protect you are your abusers I'm so sorry you've had to live through this I didn't grow up with the best family there was a long period of time where there was constant fighting and things often went too far I didn't feel safe in many different ways it all culminated to a point when I was 17 disowned and about to get kicked out gibart my vindictive defensive actions in the past made my mother know that kickin me out wasn't a good idea I know the only reason I could have a roof over my head was because my mom isn't a citizen and she knew I would have reported her for the crime of child abuse which did happen which would have put her residency in jeopardy so I guess I had to threaten to burn the village in order to feel the warmth for safety , threatened to burn the village in order to feel the warmth of safety thank you I hope you have a good day I used to work in fast food and was the only person in the store that didn't smoke everyone else got to take a break to smoke good since I didn't smoke I wasn't allowed to eventually I spoke to the owner about it and was rebuffed so I went over their heads to the company board owner got his butt chewed out for rebuffing me and I wound up getting a huge bonus my next paycheck but when they discovered I reported them I got fired immediately turns out they'd been violating company policy and food prep and storage so I filed another report to corporate store got shut down for months and my former boss got fined six figures when I managed a pizza place 20 years ago I used to give non-smokers a coke break to go drink a soda it never seemed fair to me that the smokers would go Frick off for 10 20 minutes while everyone else worked plus they always wanted to go smoke as soon as rush was over and it was time to clean when I was a teenager living in rural Alabama I didn't you would get along with my stepmother but she went out of her way to be as mean as she could to me once when she left the house she took the mouse for the family computer with her so I couldn't use it while she was gone well I did her one better by taking a cord from the back then locking myself in my bedroom until she got home she uses my little baby stepsister against me and tells her to tell me she has a present for me as soon as I unlocked the door stepmother Yanks it out of my hand and starts screaming at me about why the computer won't work well let me tell you on both sides of me I had a steel pole lying against the wall and a simple glass of water I briefly entertained the notion of smashing her in the face with the pole instead just chuck the harmless water in her face haloo I'm quite sure I avoided jail that night wife was a senior staff for a local science-fiction convention not only was she an unpaid volunteer she had to take a vacation day off work and pay for her hotel room and parking on the morning that the convention started she was setting up the first of the three rooms she was responsible for manual labor moving tables setting up shelves and loading them with stuff and somebody came in took her ID badge off her desk and brought it to the conventions Lost and Found convention LF lady told wife had lost badges have a five-dollar fee to get them back wife looked at the badge looked at her and said keep it I'm going home have a nice convention wife was about 25 feet down the hall when I left lady caught up to her and returned her badge row it was like they were trying to burn down their own village at that point I can absolutely attest to being around people who were loved starved and then subsequently self-sabotaging or otherwise destructive in a softer sense if I have felt rejected I have felt piece and sawed off burning bridges to find myself may the bridges you burn like the way forward my dad didn't seem to take any interest in my life since I was four then when my mum left him and I told him I was going to leave he then proceeded to do everything to get me to live with him buying me stuff telling me mum isn't a fit parent trying to get custody in court I decided to live with him because I was too scared to start a new school midway through the year he then dates this woman who was pretty much the catalyst and destroying their marriage and gets mad at me when I don't treat her like a mother mum is now trying to get custody and I would burn his house to the ground if it meant she would win just go and live with her refused to go back your dad will have to go through the system to get you back true the cops might take you back to him once or maybe even twice but ultimately if you are stubborn enough the cops will refuse to do your father's bidding and tell him to take it to court trust me on this just go to your mum now moved to a new town and started going to a new church when dad got cancer went to church and told the pastor to try and get advice pastor announced this to the convocation and also told everyone that some lady's horse was sick watch the entire convocation console this lady about her sick horse the convocation was in tears about some sick horse while my dad was dying no one said a word to my family never been to church since whenever I'm in a meeting and my suggestions are getting consistently ignored and I'm getting interrupted and talked over I get the weirdest urge to prove I still exist by jumping on the table and busting out the Queen of the Night aria bring an air horn then just continue talking as if nothing interrupted you I cannot guarantee the success of this strategy oh man middle school for me I was heavy bullied at school mentally and physically I wasn't getting any support at home or felt like I was I was not in a good place then I had so many negative thoughts of hurting others and myself thankfully I never had a gun or I would have become one of those school shooters that how bad and deep in depression I was in I didn't up in a psych ward and man those places are terrible I didn't get any help but only learned to bottle my crap up more when I had been bullied constantly in seventh grade by three different kids groups of kids in the school showed so little interest in helping me I was physically bullied verbally mocked humiliated in front of the other kids and not and I was batted when I finally took my mom's advice to make a scene the next time someone started throwing things at me I did it we were outside that day for PE and while we were all sitting in lines at the start of class a kid in the line next to me started throwing pebbles at me I ignored it for a moment then when he kept going I yelled at him to stop I didn't care that people were staring I wanted them to I wanted them to see that this average height able-bodied boy was throwing things at me a very small and disabled girl the teacher came over and asked what happened kid told him they were only pebbles he wasn't hurting me the teacher agreed with him and told me if I ever disrupted his class like that again I was getting detention I don't know what it is about some teachers but the second they get put in charge of more than one child they become absolutely blind to any kind of bullying and if it gets pointed out to them they think that particular incident exists in a vacuum and couldn't possibly be a sign of anything worse I was 11 years old and suicidal because I felt so incredibly powerless that teacher only solidified that feeling when I was a kid my dad used to beat on me pretty often when he was sober I usually did something to deserve it when he wasn't it was just go time one night I was 14 he got drunk and when I got home from a girlfriends place he cornered me and put a revolver to my head he told me how worthless I was and that he would be doing me a favor by killing me I didn't respond I didn't move I just waited for him to pull the trigger he didn't he left my room and left the revolver on my dresser as he walked out I took the revolver and went out I walked around my hometown sat by the river and thought about all the ways I could get back at him for all the misery he caused my mother sister and I I also considered doing the all Kurt Cobain but that's not relevant I took the weapon apart and threw its pieces in the river no one's asked me about the gun since it's probably still there working in public accounting as an auditor 65 plus hour weeks getting yelled at by clients for things that aren't your fault getting chewed out by your manager for being over under budgeted hours for a client staying in hotels five days a week during busy season eating poorly because you never had time to cook let's just say one of the best days of my life was when I got laid off from that place which opened the door for a great opportunity with none of the issues listed above grew up with an incredibly privileged but emotionally abusive family I never really fit in but they would frequently Gaslight me with so much but one that made me feel like I was going crazy was that they all hated each other but would act like I was the only one to fight with anyone else and band together in that I've moved out now but there were many nights when I felt like I was going crazy in that I could burn those house down and not look back glad I didn't though always a better way out already AM therapy is a magical thing where you learn to burn down anything that is bad for you and then you take it to your family my family seems to be somewhat accepting of me Buehring down the stupidity that is hurting us all and leaving the nice things though in therapy now and agree with you sadly burning down the bad stuff has included my family I am happy you are better off today than yesterday my old job a lot of people quit when I did they'll survive but the atmosphere isn't nearly as light anymore because all the fun people left except one and now the turnover rate is ridiculously high the church group of churches pseudo Celt I grew up in was very much this way didn't go to the right school shun didn't send your kids to the Bible summer camp shun your kids spouse family member sinned in a public way shun not a married twenty-something with three kids and actively a leader shun took me 20 years to see through the balls and another seven to finally truly feel free try to burn all that crap to the ground for the heck they put every person through I came from a similar background it's hard being trapped in a fundamentalist cult as a child of a single parent the time I was working at a psychiatric hospital and the CEO assumed I smoked drugs because I had dreadlocks I worked hard for those patients and they trusted me I feel did the hospital from nearly weekly riots of patients after being unfairly judged and made to look dispensable I almost set the inmates lose on the asylum but then I realized that it was selfish and those people I cared so much about would be punished for fighting my fight for me and basically would be the firewood for my fire just go on vacation for a month then they all know what you do for them probably my relationship with my dad my step 'can't was always well I see and I finally got the courage to tell him how I couldn't stand her and she was rude to me when he wasn't around and I didn't want to go to his house anymore for fear of the bullying from her and her kids he told me she won't leaving and I needed to get over it we didn't talk much for 13 years fast forward to today and she has the audacity to tell people she has granddaughters my kids did for the sake of my mending relationship with my dad I don't go and set her straight and tell her to Frick off god I hate that woman when I was like 15 I got in a fight with my friend over something stupid I went home and was shaking with rage full-on puberty meltdown anger I was stomping up and down the hallway breathing through my teeth all hard at one point I went in the kitchen and got a knife and started talking to God like forgive Emmy for what I do to him no freaking Nimrod I am embarrassed when I think about that loss sometimes EOP quote is a meaningful reminder for our compassion for others and sometimes it's emblematic of all our fiery angsty teen hormone rage the theatre department at my college despite building their entire persona on empathy was the judge east creepiest least in pathetic group of people I've ever known if you weren't part of the in-crowd you weren't given the same support there were many of us that existed on the outskirts working so hard just to see the same few people get all the opportunities even as far as being cast in lead roles after they graduated as I struggled with depression and and undiagnosed ADHD I worked tirelessly to keep up with my peers only to be told I needed to apply myself more I saw people put in half the work some of us didn't end up with higher grades one professor actually gave arbitrary grades to the four plus hours of homework he assigned based on page counts and who he thought deserved a higher grade I tried so hard to get no support in return that I became incredibly suicidal and had to take a semester off to deal with my mental health it only took two more years and another medical break before I finally was able to graduate I was raised in a cult there were 11 kids with four moms and the leader had really convinced our moms that he was the Archangel Michael I tried to run away over and over in my late teenagers hiking across the desert and the dark to get to the highway where I would try to hit a ride every single time well-intentioned truck is called the police to report a little girl walking along the highway with her thumb out I am short and I had been malnourished my entire childhood so even after I turned 18 I was underdeveloped and couldn't convince anyone I was an adult Michael always called me in as a runaway and the cops would take me back the last time I was 20 and I felt so hopeless when I saw the police lights I thought very seriously about trying to attack the officer with my knife that I always brought in case I was picked up by a crazy person I knew I was too small and weak to actually hurt the officer but he would be obliged to arrest me and send me to jail it was the only way out I could think of my brother is ten years younger than me and is a teenager I regularly drive him around to see his girlfriend and to his classes recently he's becoming very disrespectful and downright rude he's only nice to me if I've made food or if he needs a ride and in a way that pisses me off even more the amount of times I have seriously considered pulling over and making him walk the last ten miles home you shouldn't drive him around just don't drive him around if he's disrespectful I grew up in a dysfunctional family though feeling very loved cause I was the youngest I'm from a culture where you're not supposed to be gay so I always knew that I was loved for the wrong reason and that the moment I'd come out everybody would hate me to the core the facade I kept up with lasted into my mid-twenties and then one day I just exploded and updated my social media coming out my family hasn't spoken to me since then it's been six years I guess a fire is still burning breaks my heart hearing stories like this I hope you're doing okay now and have found people that support and love you for you here in Australia the fire starts itself when I was in seventh grade my parents got divorced my anger and sadness continued to grow one Thursday night my father picked up my siblings for the obligatory meal out I declined to go I went into my room and started freaking around with my chemistry set picture this setting a farmhouse built in 1830 burlap walls in my bedroom hundreds and hundreds of comic books and wall-to-wall carpeting your standard tinderbox instead of using a Bunsen burner for my heat source get this I used an empty plastic margarine container and instead of practicing any other safety protocol I set the fuel on the carpet and lit it surprise the plastic melted almost immediately and the fuel soaked the carpet before I knew what happened flames were licking the walls and furniture at this point I had the good sense to yell fire to my mother who was bliss free unawares and the kitchen she dialed 9-1-1 while the child genius ran in and out of the inferno trying to save his Marvel's & dicie's thankfully the emergency services got there quickly and were able to contain the damage to my bedroom it was completely blackened for years I believe the whole thing was a terrible accident only as an older adult can I admit to one simple fact my pain a need to be seen manifested in the torching of my own room I actually have a story for this so I was a senior that was friends with four juniors in a friend group I wasn't exactly part of their group but they seemed to enjoy my company I was both the funny friend and the therapist friend I helped them through their prom fiasco when they were at odds with each other I made them food on occasion at my graduation they all said that we should get together as a group and do something fun and bonding before I left for college one of them even says that she would plan a party for us all a month passes by I invite them all to see a movie one by one they flaked during the week before the movie I end up going to see it alone another month passes and they've maintained radio silence over the next few months I try to invite them to various events and without fail none of them end up being available I asked them about doing something together and no dice all the while I watch their Instagram posts of going to a lake and having a lake party or having a New Year's Eve party together now here I am typing this out on reddit before going to bed and waking up tomorrow to go out of state for college that's the baddest proverb of I do say so myself working in corporate and in the process of starting a fire now my negligent and narcissistic mother has pushed me over the edge in this latest episode she came into town in October I took two extra days off from work and it's not easy to recover from being away from my job and I dropped about $400 over the long weekend on food entertainment come to find out she's been bad-mouthing me to my sister and aunt about how I didn't let her stay longer even though my mom never even directly asked to stay longer she called me on the phone to tell me I made her cry this from a woman that didn't brush my hair growing up I f20 spent several months in a mental institution I was a young teen when I was first admitted the staff were extremely abusive to most patients although certain ones were spared due to their meek behavior one time I was tricked into admitting to an infraction that I had never committed and I forced to stay in my room for several days on end I attempted to file a complaint but it never really went anywhere the staff were typically very unkind and they treated each patient as though they were a burden but I was very lonely and I sank even deeper into depression I kept my head down for several months until I was eventually released as an adult those months in the ward still haunt me I struggle with feeling worthwhile and I criticize myself for the smallest things because the hospital conditioned me internet picking and punishing myself for not being perfect I have picked up the phone numerous times trying to work up the courage to cool the head of the hospital and give him a piece of my mind but I've never been able to go through with it if I cannot inspire love I will cause fear I've never done this in real life but definitely in videogames from time to time bullied in middle and high school relentlessly and occasionally violently administration turned their backs on me when I needed help but was always there to come down on me like a ton of bricks when I made the smallest mistake became a loner went from a straight-a student of failing nearly every class I felt betrayed and abandoned by everyone I trusted to help me at that school the undiagnosed mental illness didn't help things either if I had access to weapons back then I probably wouldn't have been a statistic luckily this was 20 years ago and I've gotten help through counseling and medication life in public accounting I always feel like a loser in school I have friends but end up alone 95% of the time it's rough dog hey mate I've been there it's gonna be okay school is short if you need to talk PM me my family doesn't know that I've hit it big in my industry the industry they said that you'd need superhuman talent or a lot of luck to make it in I'm getting my finances and the logistics in order and next week I'm moving out unexpectedly the guys I've had to move what few possessions I'm taking with me arrives sometime in the morning and my flight leaves in the afternoon I'll leave a lesser explaining that I haven't harmed myself but they are likely to see me for a long time I've got my own phone on my own plan a plane ticket and a place lined up on the other side of the country my family won't take it well since they thrive on control and conflicts and I expect the whole family to implode from finger-pointing and drama whoring once I'm gone call the local police and or Sheriff's Office and inform them of this don't give them any info about your new whereabouts other than that it's intentionally far away that way if your family tries to file a missing persons report law enforcement won't act on it this is something that abuse survivors are encouraged to do and it sounds like your situation qualifies going to the DMV my parents were horrible abusive drug addicts they were known in the town and I was always treated like I was using and myself as a kid people tried to get me removed from classes because I would be a bad influence teachers made fun of me or kicked me out of class for things like playing in the rain and coming in all wet when they knew dang well my homeless but walk to school but one thing really stuck out they'd a my my parents died they died a day apart with a bled into one a cop pulls me over I'm a team homeless and have no support he tells me I did nothing wrong and hands me a seat belt ticket for $90 and says don't turn out like your parents in a really crappy turn my blood boiled and I just wanted out of that town but I was broke while I stuck to education got my EMT got my far science degree and I got my spot on the local fire department I didn't think much of my past but one day I had a car accident I went to and it wasn't bad but the car was overturned and the guy and it was freaked out rightfully so and when I get down to let him now helps there you know who was is that cop and I would never refuse care I wouldn't imagine doing so to anyone and it never crossed my mind but I swear that dude thought I was gonna leave him to die he started looking like I was death but instead of the burning down of the village I helped him and he was really proud of what I became I explained to him what he had done to me and he knew but I think talking to me and getting my point of view was eye-opening anyways I still think it's funny the dude thought I was gonna kill him over a ticket in grade school of my classmates were either hostile judgmental and caring manipulative or some combination of them to the teachers didn't even help and some of them even tried to bully me into thinking I was stupid I tried talking to older and younger classes sometimes but that would only cause more bullying my parents didn't help me either their only advice was used for sleep reaching about obedience and waiting it's far in the past and doesn't really affect me anymore but if I have a bear or adopt kids I'll try to give them the guidance which I received way too late you have been visited by the romantic dog ow comment love is magic so you never fall in the friendzone if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 81,843

Rating: 4.8972292 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, african proverb, burn down the village to feel its warmth, burn down, childhood stories, child care, parenting, parent story

Id: inH6XeoDBWo

Length: 26min 20sec (1580 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 31 2020