The Chat with Priscilla - What Men Wished Women Knew (Part One)

hey there my name is Priscilla I'm so glad that you were here and that you were joining me for the chat this is a great opportunity for you and I as always to talk about things that matter to you or that should matter to you and listen you have tuned in at the right time the right show because we are talking to a panel of articulate handsome well-spoken men who are going to be telling us the things we want to know about them the things they think we need to know about them and so we've solicited these guys to answer your question stay tuned you are not gonna want to miss this [Music] [Music] I am so glad that you are here I have been looking forward to this particular show for a very very long time because I've not had the opportunity before to have a whole panel of men right here on the sofa to have a conversation with us and so this is unique for me but this is gonna be good because listen girlfriend you and I get to have the tough questions answered you know have you ever just wanted to grab your man and say look what in the world are you thinking why do you do this or save this you just want to know some things and you haven't had an opportunity to ask well I'm going to ask for you and we're gonna give you all the answers so that you can understand your man just a little bit better to help us do that is an incredible group of men would you please welcome first of all gospel recording artist Anthony Evans jr. Michael Boggs then I gotta have my own husband Gary Cyrus coming out and then writer blogger speaker slinger Carlos Whitaker and incredible comedian Michael well y'all thank you for being here I feel little bit outnumbered but I'm very very excited yeah that's why you got your husband that's why I got my husband yes I did invite my husband and I want to tell you it makes me a little nervous Jerry that you're part of this show cuz I don't know what you're gonna say you nervous be nervous I should also mention that Anthony Evans is my brother so I drug him onto this program well he isn't my brother and there's gonna be a lot of fun okay we need to know your marital status and if you are married how long you been married how in love are you with your wife I adore my wife okay okay how long you been married bait gone 15 years so when I'm 15 years how about you 13 years 13 years yeah nine years nine years nine in a row eight years eight years okay and our sweetie you are the thing got a very handsome singer not my tan so you're gonna give us a lot of perspective because there are single women who do want to know some things about the single guys around them so we're gonna ask you lots of questions as well okay the first thing I want to ask you guys I want to get your perspective on what you think some of the assumptions are that women make about men that you think are completely inaccurate and they just need to get over it and move on what are some of the assumptions you hear from women or that you suspect that women make or maybe your wife made about you before you got married and you you just you proved the world I think right away one of the first things at least I fall out of the the stereotypical what women think male there was a book called men are like waffles women are like spaghetti but I am the most spaghetti male on the planet and so but what I mean by that is that I think men get put into this category where we are just boxes we can only think about one thing sports sex whatever that might be but I can think about I can think about sports and sex at the same time you say yeah it's amazing so it's spaghetti you know so so so we get so I think that you know but we're not so one dimension you know we can think about more things than one all right okay like for instance sports yeah sex yeah so you think women make about you that's just not it's not accurate they think we don't talk well you kind of don't talk listen this is a great place for us to start off with a conversation Axwell usually give us a chance to talk I was I'm a really don't love to we don't love expressing our side and I think one of the reasons I don't gonna get deep I'm just gonna keep with the funny but as a child we're always told not to cry you know not you know your dad's don't be crying don't do this don't do that I don't have like a little girl and then we'll become men and we're gonna marry didn't wiser like why don't you talk to me because I've been quiet all this time no you wanna talk so I think told you that blast part 1 will be funny it was a little deep maybe it was just me no I think that's an important question because honestly communication is one of the main questions that I got from women who out you know it's just on Twitter and Facebook and everywhere I said what do you want to ask about and most what mostly what they want to know is how do they get you to feel comfortable opening up because you know for us intimacy involves conversation it involves you listening to us but all us also knowing what's going on in your heart and in your life what can your significant other whether it's your girlfriend or whether it is your wife what can she do to cause you to desire to to talk to her I think sometimes having a conversation while you're actually doing something and the pressure is not just like let's sit down and talk [Laughter] I think guys it's hard harder for us to like sit down and do one-on-one conversations but if you're out playing golf or playing basketball or something it's easier to have a conversation so sometimes I think even with my wife and I it's it's easy for us to to go do something and the conversations a little bit easier cuz it's not quite as much pressure do you think maybe she needs to do something that you enjoy doing not she's not taking you out shopping if that's not your thing you know something that she wants to do but she's due coming into your world and participating in your world with you absolutely what she can't do is she can't use the phrase can we talk just start talking casually or something don't just say hey we need to talk oh babe you have anything to add to that I think that's great yeah because you know that statement to a man I think is just I think shut down like okay alright let me prepare myself what is it now yeah so yeah I agree with it get involved in you get involved in your world and just kind of naturally have the conversation alright I want to talk to single women first we're going to start out with single women and there are some things that they want to know about you but for I want to ask you particularly you Anthony but all of you because you're gonna have a response to this I want to know what is most distasteful to you about a single woman what might she be doing thinking she's attracting you or bringing good attention to herself that to you is just not I mean there's nothing attractive about it actually causes you to run in the opposite direction no goodness really just an example well because well what I do on the road and worship leading and stuff like that there's a dynamic where after you get off of a stage there's people there people people females who are very overtly foreign and it's not a it's not endearing at all and then in real life and just in just in regular life it kind of switches the role to me like as we were built for that like to pursue and if it's if it flips I'm just like no I'm good always happens singers comedians they're like there's the line though because women are told to not put yourself out there too far but that you have to that a guy has to know you're available how does a woman single women really struggling with this how does the guy know she's available without being distasteful and too pushy and too over I think it just takes a look right let you if you cast that one look okay from somebody you know they're interested you know and and and I think that that even goes for married people and single people so you know as a as a married man when I'm on the road you know I even sometimes have to look for that look if I see that look it's like dented um you know stay way away from this is for married yeah yeah yeah absolutely and so you know it doesn't have to be overtly you know the this really loud thing it can really be subtle I think I don't I think it's really unattractive when a woman is doing too much to be a track it's almost like like if she's doing too much or she's showing too much first of all I'm a very creative person I like to imagine some stuff and you showing me everything yeah so that is so ridiculous it's almost like a lion men are like lions and then if you if there's goat tied up the line is like is there a goat running around somewhere I was built to chase I was built to pursue that's what that's what is that like I think people I'll say women are starting to feel like you guys say that you you're built to pursue but they're questioning whether or not you actually are interested in pursuing I think a lot of women think that guys aren't interested in pursuing anymore that they want someone to come knock on their door because all the women are like okay the Bible says he who finds a good wife but it doesn't seem like anybody's interested or looking where are all the men listen I think this is actually an epidemic that's going on in evangelical America I think that I think you're right and I think the women are right there's a bunch of lazy thirty-year-old childish men out there that need to step up and need to pursue as opposed to think that everything is going to come to them there's a generation I think that's grown up that is expecting to receive entitled is completely entitled to everything and I think you're starting to see relationships begin to fail because both men and women that grew up in this entitled generation are just kind of expected it to happen you know because everything else was given to them and so they don't realize they got actually put some work into it is it like a circle oh because if a man doesn't have to hunt if it's already there then he becomes lazy and then women say yo they're not doing they're not pursuing me something to do more and now here I got to do more because they're pursuing them I'm just saying it could be a little circle cracking right now on the other side of that coin too like when I hang out with college students and young adults are single single guys they tell me the exact same thing they're like where are all the good girls I'm looking for them yeah and it's you know some of the things are some of the things they might say or well they're trying too hard or you know maybe you know they don't they they just aren't catching their eye for some reason I got the key I think a huge key is this I think a huge kids this when a woman knows who she is in God it's almost like we kind of know that it's almost like yo that's almost meaning um I'm really getting it done if she can recognize me and she has a strong relationship with God there's something extra like when I found my wife she was not looking I was like yo like really and she was confident in who she is and I was so ridiculously attracted to that like like amazingly so like I've never been attracted to another woman it was because she knew who she was in her own shoes well garlis stiff I was around so I had to pursue her and then you know it worked out she's beautiful what will happen when we have churches that really let the word of Christ dwell in them richly what will happen when we have teenagers and children who really let the word of Christ dwell in them richly we think marriages are gonna be healthy we think churches are gonna be transformed that communities are gonna be impacted as Christians start to obey the text in their context in their setting you think about the Bible the Bible is the revelation of God in fact John says that it is the revelation of Jesus Christ if we are to know God then we must know him through the button it's more the Bible will help us to do that so the heart behind explore the Bible really is Colossians 3:15 and 16 let the Peace of Christ control your hearts verse 16 has let the word of Christ dwell among you richly so we want to say hey churches church leaders pastors do you want a congregation you want a small group you want a sunday-school class filled with people that speak to one another in wisdom that encourage each other that admonish one another that are filled with gratitude and their hearts together that they sing and they celebrate the salvation that God's given them you want a group of people like that then you have to let the word of Christ dwell among them richly the exploration of the Bible book by book for groups of all ages from senior adults to adults to young adults to students to kids of all ages if everyone is studying the same book imagine the possibility of revival based upon the study together in community as a group studying the text in its context imagine the possibility of letting the word of Christ dwell in you richly whenever we're squeezed whenever people in our groups or in our churches are squeezed whatever is in them is gonna come out if the word of Christ is deeply in them then that's what's going to come they're gonna speak to one another with wisdom they're gonna sing songs to God they're gonna be filled with gratitude what's in you is going to come out of you and so we want to do everything we can to help churches and help small groups as high school classes get the word of Christ deeply richly in the people there are busy women like you and I've who normally have our schedules so packed and fulfilled every moment of the day that we're running on fumes completely exhausted because everybody is just too flat out busy [Music] we forget that every single day you need to come come with your eyes and ears open now whatever you are here [Music] [Music] single guy what would be the top three things that would cause you to want to be in a committed married relationship with a woman what would a woman have to embody for you to be like I am ready to put a ring on it she's asking this thirty something non-committal guy first thing there's a reason there's a reason you have a commitment I'm wondering what would it have to be that a woman would have to bring to the table for you to be like mm-hmm I love a confidence in who she is and not necessarily it being a I need him to complete this thing you know to me I love I love the whole dynamic of wanting and not needing that that that vibe takes the pressure off of me to come in and complete somebody's well you know that that's just a weird thing in the top three things okay know her her knowing who she is in Christ I need I need that because there are more I'm an emotional dude like I'm an artist and I've been almost just okay with the fact now that I just I'm just emotional just weird yeah but I need a consistent like this is Who I am in the Lord and I want to be I want to lead in that area you know but I need you to be able to stand on your own two feet spiritual even if I'm having an off day be like yo this is not doing me that's that's huge to me and then this is the old fashion side of me I love for me a woman who can have a career and do that thing but her heartbeat is home that's for me you can yeah I mean I've hung out with a girl in in Los Angeles who is the casting director for NBC for the voice and all these shows and she loves that she's a boss but her heartbeat is to be at home and I love that dichotomy of I can go run an office full of people and then I can come home and I'll drop that if it means my family that's that's perfect the way I've watched you do with your career in the boys it's like oh this is all fun and everything but okay you know I mean yeah to choose I'm obviously gonna be at the house single women need to hear that [Laughter] several of you say things related to the spiritual grounding of a woman that that's important okay let's cut to the chase come on I need to know does it matter more to you that a woman is physically attractive or that she just loves the Lord with all her heart and all her come on somebody what are you gonna see first you're gonna see her physically right that's right so would you say that is the most important thing that no the most important that's the initial thing okay I see but then when I like my step in water is it shallow is it deep mm-hmm you know so it is but that's that's gonna attract me to you first that's what's gonna make me approach you so taking care of yourself physically is important that's here absolutely you spiritual I'm gonna know it not looking good Michael what first attracted you to your wife um you know this is a true story I was actually leading worship in a church and she walked in Wow I was while I was leading and I thought man I would like to meet her [Applause] [Laughter] cops arrived she did she really caught my eye and it wasn't until you know a few hours later her aunt actually introduced her to me and I got to talk with her a little bit here a little bit about who she was that I was kind of like you're interesting to me you know and then she wouldn't give me your phone number which made me even more that whole chase thing that that not it's almost like playing games a little bit can you tell me when playing games is too much and how much of a game is okay so that you can feel a little bit of that tension of her not being super eager to give you the number and to go out on the first date and did you what's that tension there that's important cuz money in that I think what it is if she's really listening to God God's not going God is gonna clearly instruct her so that she can be as elusive as she needs to be to continue to attract us like like for real I really believe it when it flips from listening to God in my mind - I'm gonna manipulate the scenario and get him chasing me I can feel that change I can feel that whole like I'm gonna wait you know I'm just gonna I can feel that too whole like watch I'm not gonna I'm gonna play with it that would that mean that play things tiresome but fun you know I mean let's just be honest like as human beings you know as you're you're dating and then and then you're married you know as well and so you know you want to be able to chase a little bit there you know and you know one of the one of the tricks that this is quite embarrassing but listen listen I was 16 years old and my dad is a Southern Baptist preacher and my why my mom is the preacher's wife and I just kind of saw them as this and I remember going downstairs once and I came home from school early I was sick and I picked up the remote and on the backside of the remote there was a note from my mom to my dad that says why don't you come please turn me on instead that's what it said [Applause] [Laughter] married for 30 years thirty years thanks to myself they're still playing games you know they're still playing games can you imagine because you talked about how a single woman needs to keep that mystery their mystery there but I'm married well my mother used to always say that there's an importance about keeping that little intriguing mystery there even when you're married and I could never get still to this day I'm not sure exactly what that means because when you're married you're so fully open and vulnerable with each other so how does a wife keep that mystery and intrigue and cause you to continue to desire to be in passionate relationship with her how does a wife do that what did she do that makes you just kind of go oh that's my girl yeah I don't know what it is but it's happening I can't even put my finger on it but it happens all the time I'd be like oh snap yeah that's my good stuff okay and then Michael I think when when my wife is doing what the Lord has created her to do okay no listen it's so true like when I see my wife my wife is a phenomenal cook and an event planner and chef she does when she gets in that zone and I watch her do her thing and she she gets right there it is the most attractive thing I've ever I'm just like hurry up and get out the kitchen you know because I want you you know and so yeah right you know and so I just love it when she's in them in the middle of of what she's been created to do there's something beautiful about that I met my wife on a on the seat in a ski resort she's a snowboard instructor and before I saw her she had her big goggles on right she had her big hat on and I just saw her snowboarding down the mountain and I remember no one this was a girl and thinking this is a very attractive female but I hadn't even seen what she looked like yet but that's because she was doing what she was created to you and I feel like in those moments when as females with your man whether you're married whether you're not married when you're doing what you're created to do what the Lord has created you there's there's nothing more attractive that's good Michael wasn't gonna say anything as spiritual as that but I think sometimes when you get married you stop dating and and I think that's one of the things that you know for Kili and I that's been good for us is to continue doing things that we did when we were dating you know like hanging out and hurt just conversation with her just being interesting and her asking me questions and me asking her questions I think that's part of the whole dating thing that sometimes when you get married those sort of things stop happening because you get busy or you have kids and life just takes over okay well think about the woman that's sitting on the other side of the screen and she's thinking yeah I would love to go out on a date with my husband I'd love to be in conversation with him but my husband's not responding to that he's kind of just we're just going through the business of life and we're not you know how does she get her husband to want to be with her because sometimes we can desire that and actually the saying it is not the best way to get him to respond to it and want to go out on a date so what can a woman do to gently prod her husband into wanting to be with her she should get to remote control [Laughter] anybody his help for hands for something as far as America I would think you know let's say for example if I'm sitting on the sofa watching football yeah not that you had to watch the whole game you just sit down with them you know you spend a little time with them you know just get involved in what he's doing and not just saying take up the whole time but he just sees that you're there and he's gonna just start to you know eventually they'll be like okay let me go check on her just little things like that I think yeah anything else that's actually something that just with with Keeley now that just happened as we were sitting down watching football and my wife doesn't like football doesn't know anything about it doesn't care to watch it we sat down on the couch and somebody made a first down and the announcer hadn't said that yet she goes they just they just make a first down it's like man they're on the 36 yard line and I was like who are you how did you know yes and little did I know that she had been paying attention and wanted to create that conversation and so she did and literally it she's like stealth mode I didn't know it but two hours later I'm shopping with her in downtown Frank but it did it created a moment all because she said did they create they just make a first down yeah okay someone once told me this and missus reminding me of it Michael but someone once said to me that your husband your man boyfriend whatever you should be taking a course on him figure out what intrigues him figure out how you like this coffee just try to figure out what's important to him and then get in kind of kind of lured him into a friendship with you that's not a good word but you know hi Mina lure him into relationship with you in the sense that you know something that's important to him and you connect on that level would you agree yes yes right we certainly want a friend for sure somebody we can laugh with and talk about regular stuff with not just I mean sports and sex is awesome but we also just want to be able to talk about foot I mean just talk about the stuff we talk about like just I like I love fishing like I lose both go fishing to here and go fishing so anyway um I love to fish and into fact my wife will go fishing with me and she can't stand it'll be there all day and won't catch nothing cuz the lakes in California are wacked the fish come in at 4 o'clock they take him off a truck and dumped in the water he won't talk about that so my wife she'll do that with me she'll sit back and we'll go fishing and that stuff is just awesome and I know she's not loving it but she's doing the sacrifices yeah okay well yeah how I study you yes you do yeah but I'm just saying it's just it's the same thing it's like I know what you like I know what you don't like it just certain things like that so that is I think it goes both ways and I think one of the things is is is in a relationship or in a marriage is is is always my entire goal every day is to out serve you so I think if that's both of the of the of the the male and the female that's what they're trying to do I think that continues to keep that relationship you know yeah so kind of what I hear you saying what I hear you because this is a great principle for women what they need to know about their men is not only that their men want to serve and what to do well for their family but also there's a tender spot in your man that wants to know he's got someone that's paying attention to what concerns here and that is interested in serving him as well okay yeah this has been the quicken quickest half-hour of this program I have ever had this has gone so so so quick listen this is just the first half we've got a second half that we're going to bring to you as well and we still have to talk about these fragile Eagles egos and what we do to deflate them what we do to hurt them how we can encourage them how we can get around them we've got to talk to them about nagging they think we nag about everything we're just trying to ask them a question and we also have to talk about you know the S word sex because it's just obviously at the top of their priority list and so I want you to thank me for having them on northing them rather I'm sorry [Applause] [Music] [Music]

Channel: The Chat with Priscilla

Views: 2,015,048

Rating: 4.8643069 out of 5

Keywords: chat, discussion, Priscilla Shirer, controversy, Christian, topics, women, Michael Jr., Carlos Whittaker, Jerry Shirer, Anthony Evans, Michael Boggs, Men, War Room, The Chat, Going Beyond

Id: vXQMuzmz3VE

Length: 29min 31sec (1771 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 02 2016