The Catherine Tate Show S01E01 Car Party

the Sydney well here we are there well thanks for lovely evening no thank you well good night yes you know I don't I don't really feel like this is a chance for another drink a cup of coffee James I know you want to come in and I know you'd probably meant more than just a drink or a cup of coffee it's just that I'm not drunk enough what's wrong unclear they like me of course I like you I'm just not drunk enough to find your tractor you want to be drunk enough what why aren't you drunk now I under well I can hardly stand up I'm just not drunk enough something I can do oh no because you're just not attractive I took you to the Munich Beer Festival I know I thought of here I tried I drank my own bodyweight in German I trained a whole time where I got arrested twice but it still wasn't enough maybe maybe you'll never be drunk enough and James I don't like you if only I could get so spectacularly pissed I just wasn't aware this is an operation you can have which allows more alcohol into your bloodstream jeez no my livers wrecked as it is I take so much to try and find you attractive the doctors say I may be dead within a year good night James give me a cool you see on television yeah line she is well fit her well nice song yeah she's fit as well chief and now she left Destiny's don't you think much bail but the opportunity man yeah yeah I love that she yeah right she's well Bingbing walk I said Beyonce's well-being big question right she's being big he's bling bling me bling bling bling bling King being that is bad that is funny man take the shame on their doing it no I X I'm okay that is Conde though no I actually will lose maximal right don't tell me what today come on relax about it I came in what stain I'm just lending or about I disrespected me I'm not respecting your dissipated a oh wait a minute I'm like this respecting you just you know it was funny - I'm just happy what I shocked them laughing at you enough II want I shot though cuz it's just funny you need our tea shop shopping yeah come on ma'am I'd okay come on I think I can hear your phone being in me are they gonna put Bobby on the stand hard to say he's a kid it's a gamble sometimes it pays off he's just a little boy he's the only eyewitness the prosecution have I don't want to put him through that well then you better start telling me the truth I am telling you the truth no you're not in fact you haven't given me a straight answer sistas trial began now if you want you ask to rot in jail for the rest of life that's fine because that's just where you're headed Aaron until you start telling me what really happened I can't defend you one way or the other did you kill your husband no but I tried to and at the time I meant it okay what's that one they won and actually did you kill your husband no but I tried to comenta why dunno why what's in that I can't live like this anymore Aaron this wasn't the way to do this this is one don't tell me what I'm feeling is wrong Aaron don't look at me and tell me you don't feel it too you know what is this working is that is this right it seemed different yesterday would you say different it felt different yesterday huh this is just me it's me it's fine it's me yeah okay I'm sorry let's list let's go this wasn't the way to do this this is wrong don't tell me what I'm feeling it's wrong and don't look at me and tell me you don't feel it too it's probably me is this working it is anybody worried I'm not worried is anybody worried oh no no the kiss oh no it is your hey come see me yeah hell I'm so much up yeah yeah I know your state yeah she called that time not very I can tell is cold outside cause it's cold in here soon it's gonna be cold outside this cold in here innit I mean it stands to reason down it this cold in here it's gotta be cold outside it is cold in here it must be cold outside put a couple of bars on that fire if you like darling no I'm all at sea no I don't mind good what kind of bars on that fire warm yourself up that's it ah any hot I'm roasting can't breathe so I'll have to take a pair of these types of oh thank you oh yeah yeah she was up here to die a virgin who's that um help oh good yeah lack cuddle summit on it Elena who is it I named Alina yeah yeah she's from she from somewhere and she is she yeah oh yay definitely yellow is it chicks are back in atomic Bowl gala one of their mod mark countries anyone island who is it she's from Poland yeah well I don't like on an exit god I said you got darling I'm not being funny I don't mean nothing by it but I don't want you coming up in Oh Morty forgot mine she said to me mrs. Taylor you mustn't be so proud I said what you're talking about she said do you not want me coming up here no more because you feel your independence slipping away I said no I don't want to coming up here no more cause you're a [ __ ] thief and she's not stealing from more just joking about a co she's our watcher HS anxiety looking and fools a gear she takes she does I'm just going to do some iron in foyer alright love I say she was staffing it up so one did I got a stitch of clothing taking your clothes she's knitting me food and all ain't you I doubt it she's nicking me food I mean know what mind I don't be graduating summa treat I always say to her would you like a nice corned beef sandwich now your Ella oh no st. yeah she says then when we back turn she's [ __ ] shoveling it down she said social services cunning little bastard she'll probably make a complaint about you now good letter dirty lowlife it's not funny now oh shut up you can hear like you don't seriously you can't go around making complaints about people when they've done nothing wrong it's me program oh come now oh I love this I do oh you seen this that fat girl off Emma Dale a huge big flame you've been framed yeah you sold it ah she goes round with a city camera and she takes pictures and then she shows it turn on the telly aisle is comical my juicy donut motion [ __ ] stupid mommy I've just dropped the air cleaver on the floor Thomas you really are a sea sausage pop it on the side and Alice can put it in the dishwasher when she gets home from walking Maximus but ma you don't understand Chloe hasn't taught her egg yet moisés parsley about horse maybe we can catch her or come on quick sticks that's silly girl never has a lot phone turned on Oh Alice what luck we've caught you we're having a bit of a situation right here mommy my egg can't breathe I think it's going to discolor I know just calm down what is the shortest cycle on the dishwasher six minutes Oh salvation and how soon can you get here tell her to take public transport that's for thinking time Alice take a taxi and get your Suzie my egg and call the school and tell them Thomas and Clary won't be in today now calm down we're going to be okay here mummy will Alice be okay she's bound to worry about us she's only human but there's nothing we can do about that right now no do you think because oh my god we're all going to die I don't want you girls to panic we're just going to have to be brave and sit this one out don't look at the dog tiny engine back home Oh turn it on happy birthday foods nearly ready how about a drink that'd be great do you wants to bring it out she's only just this many go off we don't risk it well why don't we just bring her inside you can put her in our room you mad she's asleep we can't move her that's insane oh don't worry it'll be another few minutes I've done this a trout dolphin wars yeah thank God for Jamie Oliver eggs changed our lives I think I'll just pop in and use their loo should I see you in there no no because some remember that baby I had six months ago off the first one in 36 hours she appears to be asleep if I move her should probably wake up when she wakes up I'm not going to kill you and kill myself so no I don't think a will see you inside that cake yes Sarah's birthday cake hmm I thought that was kinda lovely is everyone having came was it chocolate buttercream chocolate fudge chocolate fudge cake I used to love that hmm I said I used to love that sorry do you mind if I just finish this email I'm not having any cake I'm cutting down sorry you want me to move it I didn't mean to tempt you no no no it's fine it's fine because I I'm in the zone and when I'm in the zone I'm in the zone oh god you're lucky I'm going anywhere pal I've been really strict in myself since last Monday well done it's just dropping off firstly you get so much weight you've lost oh how much weight how long last Monday have no idea okay have a guess I don't know come on look at me have a guess well I think that you needed to lose anyways whatever how much just guess it's difficult to say annoying just guess how much weight I've lost I wouldn't like to okay Stone it off I'm a stone and a half a stone and half in a week of course 10 pounds 10 pounds but I've got dysentery come on five pounds right for getting three three pounds you've lost three pounds I've lost two pounds that's a good start yes it is keep up the good work Michael yes you're right find the mobile eyelid just a second ago it's like Beirut in here can you call it from yours thank this alright now what are we gonna do with you Ray Shh Stepan listen maybe job ping seeps so bloody noisy they wouldn't make Seba ther to pay to their own it's German Oliver I know it's too bloody noisy and it could do with some pepper we put your present thank you daddy could you just take that will you be joining us for the main course of your birthday lunch oh well it depends is it going to be noisy sorry well the main course is it very loud well it's trout but it's dead I love Easter don't you hot cross buns Easter eggs I was eat too many those big old biblical epics on the telly they're a bit long for me no no that's the best bit takes up a whole afternoon ben-hur I'll never get enough of that Charlton Heston all those extras I watched a documentary about the making of it did you guess how many extras ring how many extras do you reckon are in ben-hur I've never seen it all the way through you wouldn't have to guess I have no idea never guess exactly but try Jesus Christ he was a speaking part how many extras I don't have a clue come on how many bloody extra and I don't know it doesn't matter just have a girl I can't thing it's just a bit of fun yes a quarter of a million a quarter of a million in one film per for me sandals a thousand hey don't think sin for thousands right it broke the world record for most extras in a film how many thirty thousand not that many ten thousand eight eight thousand thousand got loads yes it is how many do you think they're wearing gladiator I'll get a life did you spoke to Lisa to die nah you didn't fix a spark work now I say no no only sooner not later oh yeah please Lisa would know wanted nervous tonight what is Lisa Stern I'm Lisa give her a ring Oh Lisa no no it's alright so we smartly even be cold later I might get us a dog what now oh we came what do we want to get it on for phoning a company at night yes true so don't we get again awful one of them ones for the ears I use mine no no the ones in a big floppy ears priest Charles Spaniel oh hey I just saw Oh a bit notching it well Karina spine you preach child just cause he's got big ear probably used to live or now no I'll see you boys not preached Jody's King chose no now he's still definitely on your prints Wow the dog with the big ears is called a King Charles Spaniel not a bridge cows I'm smart yeah all right one off why was classic made Azmi iPhone before our time early ready go aah metal Shane ie the whole way we come on Shelley you are not gonna believe me better on the prison we thought it'd be probably best if we joined you lovely what is surprisingly easy just keep it down a bit because Connie just got rough don't mind us you doing this on purpose Kari it's a bottle of wine what am I supposed to do well maybe you could slap her in the face and wake her up the card so much next time you should come over to our car they say death has many faces Whitaker do they man oh yeah facially you know it's a thing what's the name of this Joker very weakly ma'am used to work for the Anderson brothers how do you know he still doesn't know chanson dead ma'am easy oh yes what you have it easy yes ma'am give it is he really yes mom he's definitely dead let's look at this from a different angle don't quite know what you mean I suppose for one moment Whitaker suppose none of this exists you me we'll all be figment of someone's imagination whose imagination but could be yours Whitaker could be mine could be old mrs. Dawkins who runs a PI my shop down the old cairo not exactly sure where you're going with this man it took Adam and Eve one minute to fall from grace in the Garden of Eden and yet growing out a layered Bob can take forever you haven't got a clue where I'm going with this have you Whitaker I'm gonna use my arms gonna use my legs he was my style gonna use my senses gonna use my fingers gonna use my my imagination whoa cuz I'm gonna make see there's nobody else here no one like me I'm special what you call special special I'm gonna have some of your attention give it to me hey it's so sad oh my god they just accepted our offer offer on the flat we want older they were asking a hundred and sixty-five thousand for it guess how much we got it for just guess um 163 five hundred the sensible furniture was dressed to thrill he said let's make live on a mountain time under the stars you you

Channel: The Catherine Tate Show

Views: 640,281

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Id: FlSJUw7_y44

Length: 27min 49sec (1669 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 24 2016