The Blueprint for Marriage - Save The Date #4 | Todd Wagner

Hey what you doing Oh I actually just downloaded another dating app oh my gosh show me more apps more chances that right absolutely this one's called instant a and I think it's the one let's check it out that was fast hi there gonna work out I owe the name's Bob zoology major from Northwest ok would you Smith you'd like to slackline oh that's my name's Clarence 47 years old I really did kitten so bad alone by the Mississippi you love me what is up girl my name is will God's with us laugh this dudes back again just trying to be persistent hi I'm looking for the small group study rooms can y'all tell me where that is Oh swipe right swipe right what are you doing yeah oh you're not on insta date nope just looking for this small group rooms do y'all know where those are yeah I know where those are at do you mind showing me Sylvia would love okay sure right over here I'm Cody Oh Sylvia it's good evasions hello Forge I am NOT JP I heard it right here I love it I named JP it's what he said right here sister stand up and swipe left that's what I say right there that's right all right there we go I love that that's good I am NOT JP all right I am Todd but what you need to know is long before they were apps and smartphones I swiped right almost 25 years ago and it has been the greatest blessing of my life her name is Alex and I'm gonna tell you how I knew to swipe right on that gal there was a lot about Alex that was exceedingly attractive to me namely it was obvious to me that Alex Wagner did not need me to be complete this was a gal that I saw a lot of guys pursue she was not getting her identity for men she wasn't getting her identity for me this was a woman that was secure so here's the deal I was a guide was in leadership at that time and had opportunities to stand before a lot of individuals just like this when I was single and so because of my position a little bit there were times that it was a way to maybe get just a little bit of personal encouragement if you will from some people if they were nearer to me just because that's the way our crazy world works sometimes if you're in a position if you have power if you have beauty if you're well-funded you know folks want to be around you and tell people that they're around you a little bit and I've noticed that Alex didn't really need any of that affirmation that would come from some guy that was in some fleeting position now this was really encouraging to me because the position that I was in was one not unlike you know Demark or Luke or JP would be in in this setting right here but the truth is is I knew that I was not no matter who I thought I was a guy that if a girl really got to know me would forever be satisfied I was committed to doing everything I could to care for a girl loved a girl and encouraged a girl but I knew if she married me and I was her god it wasn't gonna be long before she left this Idol and tried to find someplace else to have her needs met and so it was an incredibly encouraging thing to me when there was a girl who knew she didn't need me but saw where I was running and I saw where she was running and we were running the same direction about the same pace which was with all we had and we thought you know what why don't we run together and dust began the story that's 25 years old of Todd and Alex Wagner and it has been arrived now listen we're doing a little serious here at the ports called save the date and last week JP talked about reasons why it might be okay to go ahead and get ready there's good reasons to get married the Bible says one thing about marriage that is a guaranteed promise and then it is that such we'll have trouble in this life now it also says that there is a purpose to marriage and the purpose of marriage is not to give you trouble but when Paul's talking about that in 1st Corinthians 7 he's just saying listen if you marry and the Holy Spirit Paul was single made Paul put in there Paul as you're writing and you tell them that you wish they would remain single so they'd be fully focused on the mission at hand and we've done a great job in this series of talking about whether you marry one day or not you are not married today and so you ought to be doing today things that you won't be able to do when you are married for me one of those things was to serve Christ in a very focused way to have lots of time to study the Bible memorize the Bible read the Bible pour into younger men raise a golden retriever to be an amazing specimen of what a dog should be you need to notice I had an amazing dog he was in my wedding he was the ring bearer in my wedding I knew I married a good woman when the mother-in-law said and I asked for her hand in marriage yes if caleb is in the wedding and I go well we're not sure how we're gonna do that because you'll figure it out that dog can do anything and so he was we'd cuff linked him up she had food that brother and we had him come in and he gave he gave the ring away to me as he came down the aisle you know and then he came up and sat right here I leaned down whisper in his ear you know he knew to raise his paw when I did that he slapped it in my hand and I just pointed and he kind of ran out didn't pee on the flowers on the way out thank God and just left I have since bought another golden retriever let me tell you what you cannot do when you're married and had six kids raise another awesome dog all right so why you're single get a dog trained it to do amazing things right Caleb could do that I'd use them to speak I'd used them lots of places for illustrations I could be in my house with a bunch of friends and I had seen Astros beer commercial where the guy taught a dog go in there and get stuff for him and so I taught Crockett to go fetch me a cold one I tie the sock around the little handle of the fridge and when I was sittin there with him and say hey Crockett or X that's my new dog that can't do anything all right Caleb go fetch me a cold one and so he would go in he pulled that sake open the door to the fridge he'd grab a mountain Dew or a pet-ct whatever does I was drink at that time he bring that he knows that things shot he'd bring it in there and drop it to me and it was a great party trick a lot of fun so some of you can do when your singles raise a good dog I don't recommend you make that your focus all right but if you ever what a good dog don't wait till you're married with children okay side note file that move on I'm okay all right what I did do though is that was committed in a way that was appropriate I was not focused on serving a woman while I was single I was focused as a servant of Christ in being a steward of his mysteries and advancing his kingdom of growing in Christ's likeness in every way that I could now I am focused on advancing his kingdom growing in Christ's likeness in every way that I can being a good servant of his end loving this woman in the way that he loves me and can I tell you something that is really difficult for me it is a all-consuming job for me and it's a source of glory to God when you do it right it's a source of blessing to you but there is trouble in covenant with another person to say I'm gonna move towards you the rest of my life and together we're going to do what both of us wanted to do Jeffie talked about good reasons that you should date and let me tell you why you should date you should date because you have an intention to joke with another person for the purpose of bringing glory to God and multiplying a godly heritage by the way if you are single you should live for the purpose of bringing glory to God and multiplying a godly heritage not through children that you introduce to your discipleship program through biological reproduction but by multiplying yourself out in other individuals I've got spiritual children all over this city I've got six biological children that have been through a discipleship program in my house that I have set free into the world I was stewards of those lives and my wife and I together has sought to love each other in a way that they would see the mystery of the Godhead which I'm gonna explain to you that together we could rule the world better than either one of us could ourselves that we could multiply godly heritage as we brought to bear all that God built into me as a father and all that God built into her as a mother that we could mutually sharpen and complete each other in a way that only two people that are around each other all the time could and we could model what unconditional unforce aching love was and what right response was to it when I got married Alex and I both understood that was the mission in other words when you go to get married the way that you can know if you will to marry right or to swipe right in today's tinder phraseology is you better marry somebody that has a picture of marriage that is consistent with yours there is nothing more destructive to the architecture of a house or the Assembly of a building than if there are two people that are building on different blueprints proverbs 23 says this by wisdom a house is built by understanding it is established and by knowledge its rooms are filled with precious and good things and so if Alex and I have got a different blueprint a different design for what the family should look like it will not go well with us this is not about where you put the furniture or what color you paint the wall I'm talking about the foundation you pour and where you put the beams and where the bedroom is and where the fireplace is and if there's a disagreement about where you build fires your house is destroyed and so what I want to do tonight in the save-the-date series is to talk to you about the blueprint for marriage if it is true and it is that the purpose of dating is that you would see if this is a person that is going to build the way that I build and invest the way that I invest and that I might get to know if we are together committed to what God wants us to be committed to then you ought to know what you're committed to and so that's we're gonna talk about tonight you've got to figure out who your master is once you figure out who your master is that will determine your mission and once you determine your mission then you could say okay if I do hook up if I do have a mate it better be somebody's got the same master so they'll have the same mission and I'll lock arms with them so the very first question you gotta ask yourself is who's your master who is the Lord in your life if it's you and by the way this is the reason most people date because they're their own master and they want to enslave you so they can serve their master those are dangerous people and they want to use you for their pleasure you are their playtoy their plaything and they are a playboy and when you play with boys they hurt you and what I'm gonna recommend to you tonight is that you find a man and you find a woman who fears the Lord and not who's beauty is charming deceitful in vain I told my son as I just Unleashed him onto a college campus and we were walking there at the University of Arkansas was going to drop him off and I'm walking around and I mean I have seen one pretty little Arkansas cutie after another as I'm walking across this campus all right and I'm just kind of watching him you know and he kind of dads there so he's not kind of doing this action but you know he's noticing what I'm noticing we are visual people we have eyes we can see and so there's cute girls that are everywhere and so I'm walking with his younger brother and his mom and I finally put my arm in so older NSA slow down absolutely one back here with me for a second you know you would you see or two let's check her right no that's not why I'm slowing down not why I'm slowing down what I would I said to him I'd go ahead coupe man do you see what I should you see all the beautiful women that you're gonna go to this college man and he gives me this 18 year old what know what I know what do we need your eyes checked before you go to college cuz you have to read things I throw everywhere here's why I don't know I'll bro they're everywhere there's pretty girls everywhere okay let me ask you a question what do you think when you see these pretty girls cuz you should see them and so it gives me nothing I don't know you you want to tell you what you should think I'm gonna tell you what you should think when you see those pretty women you better think charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised cuz bro if you go and you chase that little hook and you bite on that and you fall in love with something that looks a certain way but doesn't love a certain man it is gonna be the greatest source of pain in your life now you see they good-looking 50 year old just a few steps ahead of you go find you're one of those that looks just fine but its faithful and so what I'm gonna tell you is when you find somebody that was to date you because you please them and stimulate them in some way and they want you to please them and stimulate them for a moment that is a user I told my son this is a fad alright you don't choose your friends you don't choose your future career and you don't choose your future mate by beauty by money by position that's what fools do you need to know something is that small men use or love things and use people but great men love people and are useful you wisely using things don't you dare love things and use people you don't find your affirmation from a date you don't find your affirmation from a husband you find your affirmation from the one who says I am the bread of life and I can satisfy you hey girls guys taste them there is nothing more attractive to a woman to a man than a woman who is secure there is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who is secure and who God made her and I'm gonna tell you what man that shows up for a long time in ways into marriage that you can't even imagine but one I could dive in tonight what we're gonna do is we're gonna study what it is that your master as you're on the mission of life says you should with your mate pursue Seneca who oddly was born for BC about the exact same time as Christ who went on to be a advisor to the emperor in Rome who killed disciples of Jesus Peter and Paul Seneca said that unless you know what port you are sailing to you will not know which wind to catch to get you there you won't know which way to swipe you won't know which way to go you won't know how to trim your sails and what to look for as you navigate your way and so what I hope to do tonight is to tell you the port that you should sail to are you ready here we go what is the purpose of marriage and if you know the purpose of marriage then you will find somebody who's about these things in Genesis chapter 1 as this little passage where God said let us make man in our image according to our likeness this is verse 26 he says let them rule over the fish of the sea over the birds of the sky over the cattle and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth and says God created man in his own image and image of God he created him male and female he created them and when God had done this he said we want to make man in our image what we're gonna do is we're gonna put men in position where they they could be stewards of the earth they could be vice-regent they can rule over the earth way re rule over everything and what God was doing in Genesis is he was unveiling his person he was unveiling his glory he was demonstrating to the angels something that there was no way that the angels could ever know without God introducing something called humanity into existence somebody lived a little insight okay Genesis chapter 1 is not the beginning of history it is the beginning of God's engaging humankind in eternity John chapter 1 verse 1 which sounds a lot like Genesis 1:1 is the beginning of your Bible it goes back to before Genesis 1:1 it says in the beginning was the word and the Word was with God and the Word was God that's where you get to us from there in Genesis chapter 1 there's there's at least we know a couple of them there that are God that the Word was with God in the Word was God but but but the Word was not the same God that he was with even though they were one there was diversity but there was still unity and there was a distinction and what God said is is here's the deal and I'll just give you a little inside if you go to Ezekiel 28 or I say a 14 you'll catch a little more of this story when you have what's called some typology which is just a picture of something unfolding in human history which is a picture of something far greater David is a type of Christ Joseph is a type of Christ the king of Babylon and the king of Tyre are types of Satan and there are individuals that exalt themselves I think the story goes basic like this that God had created the angelic realm already in the angelic realm he had created them to enjoy him and had given them means to be in his presence but there was one angel in particular that based on different I guess interpretations of the scripture by scholars many people believe the chief job of Lucifer was to reflect the image in the glory of God in other words that other angels would look at this Emeril guilded angel that had been covered with all the beautiful stones of creation that the reflects and the beauty the glory of God would reflect off of him and other angels could almost approach God through this angel and this angel said they're not approaching God through me I am better than God I will exalt myself over God they won't use me as a way to not be consumed by the glory of God which is God to make provision for them they would be consumed by him but they will love and worship me and says he exulted himself and that that exalting of himself costs him the ability to be in the presence of God that sin cast him out of God's mist that he he said I will be God and God cast him out of his presence said a third of the Angels believed that Lucifer was in fact maybe somebody to be followed more than God and so what happened second that that went down is people went well I'll tell you what it is clear now that Jehovah Yahweh carries the biggest dick you can't Jack with him Satan and all of his glory and all of his power he wasn't as powerful as God but I wonder this I wonder if Satan had been given a shot I wonder if he could rule better than God enter into that scenario that now has God in the heavens and Satan in judgment and what would be a place that is filled with chaos darkness void of life and purpose which is what you always find when you leave God a God who steps in and creates beauty and order and he places into that place of perfect beauty and order people in His image and he says I want you to know me and walk with me I want you to enjoy me I've made this this this place gorgeous and beautiful but you need to know something there's an enemy there and he wants you to follow him he wants you to believe that his way is the better way he's going to tell you what he believes which is that if you're your own God it will go better for you and that didn't go well for him and it won't go well for you so all you need to know is that I'm good and trust me as an eternal sign of your faith in me I will put over here a tree of good and evil and on that tree you at any time you want can go eat and if you do go even that you will die because what you're gonna say is I don't need a relationship with God and I will be my own God but when you leave the God who is life and light you will get darkness and death that's basically the story that you're entered into there in Genesis 1 now who are these people that are introduced because there's a lot of people that that speculate about what does God really like what we're about to find out is that God is this amazing lover because we already know he's sovereign he's more powerful than the enemy of darkness but the New Testament says that in John chapter 4 verse 4 it says greater is he if you have a relationship with God who was in you than he meaning the Prince of Darkness the Prince was in this world the spirit of deceit graters he who is in you Christian than he was in the world we know that because God threw Satan out of heaven we know that because he has conquered sin and death we know that because he's defeated the enemy and stomped on his head and there will be day when he will fulfill the completion of that defeat but watch this meanwhile I want you to enjoy me and it's gonna torment him to see you enjoy me he's gonna always tell you this a better way we're gonna read that story in just a little bit but what about God who is he men try still to figure this out and and you know the word Trinity never appears in your Bible but the word that that is Trinity is described in your Bible it is a label that we have assigned to how God has revealed himself and there's all kinds of bad analogies that people throw out to try and explain what God is like so they might use this they might use well gods like water you know he's always two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen but water morphs from a liquid to a solid to a gas depending on the temperature so it's either it's either liquid water it's frozen ice or it's steam it's all water and gods like that sometimes he needs to be you know fluid and and we need to be able to see him and that's that's that's Jesus and sometimes we can't see him and gods at work through his spirit and that's the gas and sometimes he's just a solid rock and that's God the Father but that is called modalism it is inconsistent with with what the Scriptures teach it's err other people have used numerous other analogies and there is no analogy that really describes who God is except one and it's the analogy that God gave us right here in Genesis chapter 1 it's the analogy that's ultimately fulfilled in marriage and we know that the first two people he created male and female he created them he brought together and he said let them be a picture as they walk with me of who we are now in the Trinity you have a you have three things that have to be there if you have a biblical view of God you have to have unity that there is only one God the Lord our God is one you have to have diversity in other words that there is distinct persons because that's what the Bible says and you have to have equality which means that they are the same in essence but there is subordination within that relationship it's interesting the son says I don't do anything acceptance the Father's will the Spirit says I exist to exalt Christ the father says don't worship me at the name of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord there's this mutual admiration society okay is it by the way it's not a contradiction when you say there is one God who is three persons a contradiction would be if you said there is one person who is three persons there's something in the way the Bible reveals the character and nature of God that is a mystery and the way that we have described it if you have a biblical view of the person of God it is a Trinitarian view now why do I do all that I do all that because the very first thing the only thing that we're that marriage can be in a very unique way that God's that this is the clearest picture I can give you it is when there are two persons who watch this not three-in-one but to God said when you two come together you're still going to be unique individual persons but there's going to be a unity there's still diversity but there's equality males not greater than female females not less than male there is equal dignity and beauty they're the same in essence same in value but they have different roles and any organization that exists that is doing well and is prospering always has people in the organization where the members complement one another rather than imitate each other it's what makes organizations work and so we're gonna complement each other in the way that we work and have a long and so god made us sane and dignity in value just like the Spirit and the Son and the father is same and dignity and value but unique in their purpose and their roles the best analogy I have of this I found when I was walking out of a Kroger in 1996 it was a Life magazine and I came across this picture of Abigail and Brittany Hensel abigail and brittany hensel are the rarest of children they were born Kojo twins that the slang term is Siamese twins it's it's when a single leg that usually when it separates it becomes identical twins but for some reason their eggs did not completely separate in the way that most identical twins eggs separate but here's the story in Life Magazine about these two sweet little girls and I want to read it to you because the best picture I've ever seen of exactly what I'm talking about Abigail and Brittany there Co join the doctors don't know why they divided it says that each one has her own heart and stomach but together they rely on three lungs their spines join at the pelvis below the waist they have the organs of a single person each controls the limbs and trunk and feel sensations on her own side exclusively Abbie's on the right hand and Brittany's on the left when they Pledge of Allegiance here you know Abby will put her hand on Brittany's heart it's interesting so if you tickle over here it's just a bee that last you tickle over here it's just Brittany that last they're very distinct individual persons Abby likes animals Brittany likes to draw one likes crackers in their soup the other one doesn't their teacher says that they offer one of those conflict the class she has Abigail and Brittany give the class a lesson on getting along it's really interesting this article 1996 they quote a neurosurgeon from Johns Hopkins who was the first person ever to separate co-joined twins his name was Ben Carson and he said we've looked at the Hensel girls we can't separate them because it would be devastating because of the way their organs are put together but I love this there are different temperaments have been apparent since infancy Abby has a voracious appetite Britney finds food boring Abby tends to be the leader Britney is more reflective and academically quicker sometimes they argue once britty hit Abby in the head with a rock but they have obvious incentives to arrive at a consensus when they can't agree on where to go a rare occurrence they literally cannot move when one misbehaves they're both sent to their room I love what ben Carson said he said listen neither girl has sufficient body mass to support life apart from the other if we did something to separate them watch this it would make them in valise there would be major emotional and psychological trauma what's that sound like to you you children divorce you know one of the oldest illustrations in marriage classes that we do sometimes is we take two paper plates and we glue them together and we let those things really seal together the way that they're intended to be to make them stronger and then at the end of the class that we're talking about the the purpose of marriage and and what God has joined together man shouldn't separate we say hey why don't you guys we're gonna serve you something I'm gonna like baked beans you know something needs support before you do that once you tear your plate apart so you each have a plate you can imagine what happens to that plate it becomes both of them are destroyed there is major emotional and physical trauma it's not what God intended I love this last thing in this article and I'll just read it to you but you know what's amazing they can ride a bike they can swim I love this one picture in fact whether by the pool is to put that picture back up there because you can see that they've got their cold and they're keeping each other warm you can watch that little boy looking at him almost then I wish this guy would you know warm me up baby right but but it is I mean if you can't help but look at that kind of love I mean it's it's freaky isn't it I mean it's otherworldly when you look at that but listen to this paragraph on Life magazine bound together to each other but defiantly independent these little girls are a living textbook on camaraderie and compromise on dignity and flexibility on the subtler varieties of freedom and together they have volumes to teach us about love can I tell you what should be said of Todd Wagner at the 50th wedding anniversary to Alex Wagner Todd and Alex Wagner are are defiantly independent they've both kept all of their personality all the distinction of what God created them to be but they're a living textbook on camaraderie and compromise because they don't live according to the spirit of Todd and the spirit of Alex they lived the spirit of God we're companionship and completion and mutual subjection and love for one another and exaltation is eternally a part of God these are not the highest metaphysical ideas of men these have eternally existed in the very nature and character of God and God said I want you to dwell together and it would should be said is that Todd and Alex at volumes to teach the world about love and guess what Todd Malick should too say hey listen we are just a poor shadow of what real love looks like it it's it's revealed in the Trinity and let me tell you about the Trinity the Trinity doesn't just love itself because God is love the one thing that love has to do is share itself and so God even created first the angelic realm to share with him his glory and his goodness and then he created us to share with us his love but guess what we did we go we don't need your love we think we can get along better without you we see what happens when people try and get on without God one of them just walked into a Community College up in Oregon happily telling you he has no relationship with God and that he has listened to the lies of demons and now he has become one with them let me tell you that's something rather extravagant example up there but if you date a guy that doesn't have the master whose name is Yahweh Jesus you can be dating a little boy that's going to storm into your classroom there's gonna be a devastation in your life and God loves you enough so you don't need that the very first thing that Mary's supposed to do is to mirror the image of God in a way that only marriage can and so the way we love each other in mutual subjection in completeness and care and love is mirrored the second thing marriage does is it's a multiplying godly heritage she says in Genesis chapter 1 verse 28 God blessed them and God said to them be fruitful and multiply now what's that mean he says listen I want you to bring forth in Genesis chapter 1 a significant event haven't happened yet that a significant event was that men had rebelled against God and so in Genesis chapter 1 verse 28 when God blessed them said multiplied the law of creation is that creatures would bring forth things after their kind and so hippos would bring forth hippos giraffes would bring forth to harass and humans who knew God and walked with God would bring forth humans who knew God and walked with God that was God's intention he said fill the earth with people who know me and delight in me in Genesis chapter 1 verse 24 this is where the law of creation shows up God said let the earth bring forth living creatures after their kind cattle and creeping things in the beasts of the earth after their kind and it was so God makes the beasts of the earth after their kind and the cattle after their kind and everything that creeps on the ground after it's crime and God saw that it was good and guess what if you've got people who know that God is good who love his mission and who live his way and we multiply those people it will be good one of the reasons you love coming to the porch is even people that live insane lives when they come here there's a spirit of kindness and hospitality and other centeredness in this place in there but there's a spirit of excellence and creativity in this place there's a spirit of peace in this place and it's incredibly attractive and you do everything you can to it tell your friends to come and guess what you're doing you're Jenna invite people into a small sampling of what the kingdoms be like that that's God's view of the church okay that that's God's view of a Christian marriage that that people will say I you know what I've had I've had friends with my kids say hey we want to go hang out at your house we love being with your family our family's not like that you know what's really interesting just to give you a little example of what happens when when the family breaks down and the emotional and physical instability that can invade into a home you know it's really interesting of CNN and Fox News and even the father of that murderer up there in Oregon they all count how many guns that kid had in his home but they didn't count how many parents he had that kids problem wasn't that he had guns in his home that kids problems he did have parents in his home that multiplied the kindness and goodness and love of God and so he's saying hey listen man you multiply godly heritage you be about making disciples thirdly in Genesis chapter 1 verse 28 the second part of that verse says fill the earth subdue it rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth I want you to manage your world there it is so mirror a love relationship where where you've got distinct individuals who are unified who were equal and yet who operate with very clear roles multiply that love of goodness and excellence and godliness and self-discipline and perseverance multiply that out in them multiply other centeredness and selflessness do all you can to multiply in them and affection for the God that allows you to walk that way and then make sure that this world that you're in doesn't tell you how to roll you manage your world don't let your world manage you now watch this I'm going to show you something very interesting here because because Satan in John chapter 8 verse 44 says he's a liar that's all he does he's not creative he's just a liar if God that marriage is a gift and that sex in marriage is is where sex should be celebrated and enjoyed all the enemy does because a lot of weight for marriage that sex marital sex has not been like premarital sex and in that sense he's right because marriage sex isn't defined by guilt and shame and horror if it produces children it's not riddled with disease because of what happens when humans pass themself around to one another but he doesn't sell it that way does he he's just a liar so watch what happens this is Genesis chapter 1 okay and so in Genesis chapter 1 you've got God and God is basically creating and telling humans which he creates if we get to chapter 2 in the purpose in the in the form of male and female that are both made in His image that they should relate to each other this way and and and and serve him and honor him and they're to rule over the world and specifically he gives Adam the right to name the animals and to have dominion over them not when you get to Genesis 3 you guys know the story let's just read it together Genesis chapter 3 it says now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made he said to the woman hey has God said you shall not eat from the tree of the garden the woman said to the serpent from the fruit of the trees the guard we can eat but excuse me yet for the fruit the trees the garden with me but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of garden God said you shall not eat from it or touch it or you will die now listen that's not what God said Adam apparently was a lazy teacher God didn't say you can't touch it you will die he just probably went in his lack of care in Genesis 2 we know that God told the man hey you can do whatever you want just don't need it that tree okay and so I could imagine when he's disciple in Eve he adds to the Word of God and so whenever you add of the Word of God that sets people up for confusion he said like this don't even go near that you don't even touch that tree if you touch it you're gonna die yeah that's me reading into the text with the reason I I think that that's I can do that with some confidences Eve apparently was told we can't touch it or die here's an opportunity is a there's a high reverence for the Word of God but a misunderstanding of the Word of God and that ability to divide it rightly and so he goes that's not true look I'm touched in I'm not dead let me just tell you some it's a very dangerous thing when you venerate and honor the Word of God and you're ignorant of it you're set up to really really be deceived but anyway we got the serpent talking to the woman and she sees that the tree is pleasing to the eyes it's a delight to her flesh and it's desirous because of what it promises her the ability to be able to be independent and free even though God said you can't be independent of your life support and by the way when you know knowledge like I know knowledge I'm not afraid that you're gonna beat me at jeopardy that's not why I don't want you to eat at that tree the problem is is you're not intrinsically good like me and in this the case listen gang don't most of you know the kind of guy you should date though most of you know the things that lead to guilt and shame in your life don't we all know that and yet how many of us continue to do things that are destructive to our hearts and it's not a knowledge problem we just keep going back and so listen God said I don't want you to go there just keep looking to me because if you look to yourself you're gonna rationalize and compromise and twist and you're gonna do what you know you shouldn't do and convince yourself somehow it's gonna be okay and it's not okay he's killing you this is Genesis 3 we've got the serpent talking to humanity telling the woman who took the Apple that she ate and gave it to the man who was with her so that now they would know good and evil and they could tell god what to do anybody notice anything here that's just a complete inversion of what's supposed to happen now for sake of time I'll just tell you what happens here is God comes right back in in Genesis 3 and says hey that ain't the way we're gonna roll and so God says here's the deal I am God and I'm still gonna be over you humans and you humans are gonna still be together and you're still going to be in the world but guess what now there is enmity between us and there's going to be because we don't know each other enmity between you two and there's gonna be a curse on the world and that my friends is the world that we're in it's not the world that God created it's the world that we chose but stay tuned because I told you the reason that God created us is because he was gonna show you something about himself and the story gets beautiful in just a moment so here's what happens in this little section right here is that God says I want you to manage the world don't let your world manage you and when you get out of whack with the way the world should go it's not gonna go well with you you are supposed to be in the world but not of it but the word show you how to live in the world where the mirrors image in marriage where it were to multiply godly heritage and together with all the beauty that is womanhood and with all the beauty that is maleness we are to manage the world and there's very specific ways that were to do that together and we'll we'll get to that in just a moment but now the fourth thing that we are is were people that should mutually complete one another this is interesting because JP last week said you've got to lose that live and talk about the beginning that there's this person out there that can complete you like where you complete me and it is true there's nobody out that is gonna complete you in the sense that they make you whole but let me just tell you it is a biblical fact that women are to help men be everything that a man should be in the context of marriage in the same way that Shane and I as we do life together are to spur each other on to love and good deeds that JP and I complete each other let me just give it to you this way we are to be vessels to which God could minister and work at Philippians chapter 1 verse 6 it says that he who began this could work in you will bring it about to completion in the day of Christ Jesus Colossians chapter 1 verse 28 says we proclaim him admonishing every man and teaching every man in or that we might present every man complete in Christ and so I want to show you what God intended us to do with one another it's God's intention actually I don't need to do that because I think we've got it for you up here God intended for men to dwell with woman to care for her to love her it's our job to stay there and to say I'm going to bring forth all your beauty I'm going to show you all your worth that I can as a vessel of God you've already got that worth in Jesus I'm going to be a visible physical gift to you as a constant expression of God's love for you I'm gonna care for you and protect you and provide for you and encourage you we're gonna cherish you and honor you I'm gonna cultivate the relationship I'm gonna spur you on in every way that a person who's close to you should what most men do however is they get there and the woman is not easy ground it's that low-hanging fruit instead of cherishing and nourishing and honoring her they start to intimidate and say if you don't start producing if you don't start growing what I'm wanting grown if you don't start giving me what I want I'm gonna I'm gonna have a scorched-earth policy here and they become abusive and they become domineering that's a sin expression or what they do is they become very passive and they just withdraw from the house they leave or they're present and they're just not there they may not divorce but they're really just understand they are married they don't pursue oneness likewise women are called to complete in Genesis 2:18 it's where I get this idea from since the Lord God said it's not good for man to be alone I will make him a helper suitable for him and so God gives us one another in relationships in general and specifically there might be a day where somebody covenants with you and if you marry you have not sinned and a woman's role is to complete and what that means is not the Jerry Maguire you complete me but notice this it's the woman that's completing the man meaning Alex I'm not home yet I'm not all that God wants me to be speak into my life and Mohnish me when I'm unruly encourage me when I'm faint-hearted help me when I'm weak be patient with me my wife knows that I want to be God's man my wife and I spent a good two hours yesterday dealing with an area of my life that she believed I could improve him yesterday I was speaking to our residence here at watermark and they said hey Todd would what's the best thing that your wife does to help you lead this church and I said that's easy she speaks faithfully to me she knows who I want to be in when she sees me deviate from that she she gently first looking to herself less she to be tempted with in a spirit of gentleness she comes to me and says hey but this this is something that I I know you care about it might be the way I'm making her feel it might be the way that I'm filling up my days it might be the way that I'm not self aware with tone it might be that she sees that my habits or practices are not excellent and she says I want to help you be the man that I believe you are but what some women do is they don't sit there and complete a guy what they'll do is they'll compete for headship but go I don't like the way you're leaving so I will just take you on and this will be a matriarchal ii it led home and i'm gonna i'm gonna run this ship the way i want to run this ship or they will just back off and i'll have a false view of what it means to be a submissive wife and so they'll just condone sinless behavior usually for about 20 years until the kids are gone and then they have an affair with the trainer and i'm just telling you that is not what god had in mind when he calls us to mutually complete one another fifthly this is a picture that JP alluded to a little bit last week so i won't spend much time on it but I'll give you one particular little bit of truth in this and and that is that God wants us to model something for the world that makes the world Marvel in the same way that Britney and Abby did that he wants us to model something for the world what is it it's an incredible picture of love I'm gonna give you guys a little bit of encouragement this is the role of a man the Bible says that a man should love the woman as Christ loved the church you might ask yourself well Todd house Christ loved the church well let me just give you a list it looks something like this the way that men are supposed to love women the way that Christ loves the church is unconditionally constantly completely sacrificially selflessly even to the point of gasps endlessly eternally always initiating not waiting to be initiated with do it with great patience and tenderness unshakably and do all that perfectly how's that for a job description that's that's what men are called to do is to it's the model what a love looks like that loves like that in marriage now by the way here we go we come back and say okay well what's the woman to do a woman to a man that is to love this way is to be somebody that is to to respond to that leadership and to be subject to that man this is so important girls please listen to me on this women are not to be subject to men nowhere in the bible does it say that women are to be subject to men it says wives be subject to your husband's what kind of husbands husbands that are subject to Christ women if you choose to yoke yourself to a guy who's gonna physically be stronger than you emotionally fight differently than you and he is not subject to a sovereign God who does nothing from selfish of empty conceit and who hasn't himself the same attitude which was in Christ Jesus you are walking in to hell and so Jesus tells you this he says make sure you marry this kind of guy wise be subject to this kind of man a spirit-filled man don't even date a guy that's not spirit-filled your master who loves you who wants it to go well with you say don't yoke with that guy just don't date that guy don't even go there don't be confused by his charm or his abs or his car or his career only be attracted to a man that's in love with me or it will cost you because you are walking into a dictatorship that you will regret the rest of your life and don't blame me all I did was warn you look here's what a woman does a woman is to respond to the man to be respectful towards the man to be obedient to his godly selfless leadership to submit to that to be humble during and full devoted and let me ask you a question girls have a little empathy for us look at those two job descriptions which one of those two is the hardest can't tell you which one it is men it's the gals and let me just tell you man this is why the Bible says hey men you don't love your wife the way I want to love your wife and you're gonna find out what it's like to be led by God like that man it says if you feel like you're not getting through to me then the first place you ought to look is how you treating your wife this is 1st Peter chapter 3 your prayers are hindered they're hitting the ceiling they're not going anywhere because why would a God who is sovereign and loving towards you answer your prayers while you're being abusive and cruel to others you better repent of that and deal with that and then you and I can do business together again here's how I know by the way that this is much harder to be the woman than the man because I am the woman in this analogy meaning I'm a part of the church Jesus is my bridegroom let me ask you guys a question has Jesus loved me unconditionally say yes does he love me constantly because he'd never leave me and forsake me is it complete as it's sacrificial as it selfless was the point of death is an endless initiating with great patience tender unshakable and perfectly say yes so let me ask you a question how do you think I do I've got a perfect husband how do you think I do in responding to him am I always respectful am I perfectly obedient do I always submit to Jesus Christ and my humble a during and I fully devoted not all the time guys can you imagine how hard it would be to serve a God who was moody self-serving and abusive and who sometimes was domineering or just deserted you because he was one to get his something somewhere else and that was still your job there's never been a guy that's to fill that job description perfectly and yet women that's what you're called to do that's why you need to complete him and spur him on and by the way that's why you need to make sure that you marry a guy who's radically in love with Jesus because when my wife comes to me says Todd I see some things are out of sync with your life with Jesus I am all ears I'm like that's all I want to be is in love with you let's all I wanna do is respond to the God who cares for me and by the way as we show you this beautiful thing do you notice what God did right here this is Genesis 3 this is the second part of Genesis 3 but there's something amazing that happens here we're gonna draw this back up one more time there's an event that happens right here and it's called the cross and that this event that's called the cross in Ephesians chapters 1 2 & 3 the cross is introduced it's what Jesus is done and what Jesus has done is he's taken away the enmity between God and humanity and now there is peace between the church and God's people and so man is renewed and God uses Genesis to language in Ephesians 5 Genesis 2 is before Genesis 3 he says you men can now love your wife as this way you can lead and cleave and become one flesh why because you're no longer sinners we're gonna hurt each other and so male and female who both love me because they have a relationship with me they're gonna be peace in the home again that's why in Ephesians 4 it says I urge you therefore in light of these things to walk worthy of the calling with what you've been called with all humility and gentleness or forbearance and so patience to one another in love be diligent to preserve the unity the spirits that's been accomplished but guess what Ephesians 5 talks about how there's a renewed peace in Christian marriage but there's still a war in there between you and the world that's why a fusion six talks about spiritual warfare and says if you want this thing to work he know that same enemy that tried to screw you up in Genesis 3 is trying to screw you up right now and if you don't stay close to God he's gonna take you out and so your fight is not against flesh and blood your problem is never your spouse your spouse is not your enemy Satanist I was showing this to a couple that I was gonna marry and the bride goes woman what am i doing getting dressed in white and she looked at her husband she said we're getting married in camo because we're going to war and I said that would be the most theologically correct thing a bride had ever done and I'd love to do the wedding and be awesome that would be amazing right unless you're in Alabama and then it's amazing if you wear white okay they all were camel at weddings in Alabama all right no Melissa I close with this let me ask you guys a question if marriage is God's Way to mirror his person to multiply kindness and goodness and love in the world to manage the world so that grace may increase to mutually complete his most cherished creation and a model a picture of God's love for the world how much do you think the enemy hates well I think he hates it a lot and that's why if you perfect have a godly Christian marriage you need to know you're at war and let me just tell you this not only you at war but what he's trying to do is disqualify you before you ever get in the battle let me tell you what singleness is you're ready this is the best picture I can give you a singleness it's seal training and what you need to be doing right now this is a big deal okay the seals have a model that is that that one is nun and two is one what's that sound like it sounds very Genesis to to me that the two shall become one the seals say we can't go out this thing alone we need each other we're not gonna do well guess what they try and do during SEAL training they try and wash people out they don't make any excuses because if you're not a warrior it's one thing if you go to war and you're just not responsible and you get ticked off by the enemy and you die but when you're on a SEAL mission when you're out there trying to do this special ops this thing that that you better be ready if one of the guys the team can't do his job then they both die and so you got to quit nursing somebody along in the SEAL training that is singleness and in dating that you're gonna yoke with and you're gonna go to war and it's gonna clean your clock because any relationship is only as healthy as the least healthy person in it and so what you want to do is what the military does and before you even get the SEAL training you watch them in other branches of the service you watch how they do in there in doc and then they eventually apply and qualify and then they date them in absolute focused merging and then with experienced commanders around them who have counseled them and told them what war is like and what war is about others say we think you guys are ready to be a team now you can film your own little SIL team your own little way but you're not going to be sealed and if you want to be effective in marriage you better go to war right now and show yourself to be a warrior so that other people are going you know which you are you're fit to go to the training you're fit right now to enter into a relationship with somebody else because I see in you a love for the image of God I see in you a commitment to multiply everybody that God brings into relationship with you I see you making disciples so if some day God gave you one from the womb you might be a good partner I see you managing your world and not letting your more imagine I see you in friendships with others in biblical community where you don't run away when it gets hard but you do well you complete other women you are a godly sharpener of people made in God's image and I see you modeling a right response to love I see you loving people unconditionally that's we ought to date that's who you enter into you guys have heard that there is a rampant epidemic of divorce it's true that 50% of people Christian and non-christian by profession are divorcing this stat is true but let me just show you something if you're a non-christian and you don't go to church you are less likely to vorse than if you're just a poor cheat or a water marker where you just go to church but you don't let Jesus run through you it is a fact that you are 20% more likely to divorce if you marry somebody just because they dress up and play army because they go to the porch because they carry a Bible but they are not love with the person of God they are not making disciples they are not managing their world they're drifting along with the current of Dallas and they just happen to go to the porch on Tuesday nights they're not living in biblical community they don't let anybody dwell in their life they don't let anybody complete them and they're not completing anybody else and they don't respond to their bridegroom Jesus Christ they're not somebody who's already well married to an unconditional sacrificial perfect lover but they say they know him you marry that person you are 20% more likely to be a statistic but here's the great news you find somebody who's committed to Jesus who really loves him who's in biblical community dwells with others who makes disciples and it's disciple himself who responds fully to Jesus Christ this is a fact this is a sociological fact you are 35 percent more likely to have a successful marriage in other words find people that are warriors and that other Shepherds are around them saying this guy's ready to go this person's ready to take on the enemy camouflaged as a normal person when they are supernatural because of the reuniting of their life with Jesus through the miracle of the Cross Father I pray for my friends that understanding tonight what marriage is about understanding how the decisions that they make are going to influence their ability to find joy or pain in marriage that they would be individuals that would say okay first of all I got to go to war I got to become your man or your woman I've got to be an individual that take some serious stock and says do I know you is master and am I already on mission for you and so I'm high trying to to to represent you to a world and and and be the godly man or woman that you want me to be where I'm making disciples and being discipled and ruling my world and being in the world but not of it being in community being well married to Jesus where I've left every relationship or activity in order that I might become closer to him and I evaluate every new opportunity by asking myself will it draw me closer to Jesus or pull me apart so that I might be one with Christ well married to him Lord I pray that people who are doing those things would find each other if they desire to get married and they would not fall in love with beauty they wouldn't use people and love things but Lord that you would make us like Christ that we would love people and we would use dating to evaluate whether we should go to war together knowing already what our mission is and we'd use marriage to glorify you would you protect your people by laying out your map for life as you intended it in Jesus name Amen

Channel: The Porch

Views: 14,619

Rating: 4.9669423 out of 5

Keywords: marriage, dating, save the date, married, tips, Advice, Pick, Life, Easy, Meet, Mystery

Id: t_kpExB_Jd4

Length: 61min 41sec (3701 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 09 2016