Teenage Challenge - Top Gear - Series 13 - BBC

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Reddit Comments

"And he's got no penis, because it came off once."

👍︎︎ 12 👤︎︎ u/david5189 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

They're hot for James May right now

👍︎︎ 5 👤︎︎ u/AssBlasterism 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

Great stuff, but they didn't show the best part... Attempting to sneak into the house at night without waking the parents.

👍︎︎ 4 👤︎︎ u/WestonP 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

I kept waiting for James to come up to the girls and say Hello, but it never happened. Was that not from this episode?

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/alwc37 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

"I don't know what you're doing but I want to do it too!" - males EVERYWHERE when it comes to pranking.

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/LikeACosmo 📅︎︎ Oct 14 2012 🗫︎ replies

What season is this?

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/Ziss0u 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

I enjoy when they're trying to get up the small grassy hill myself . For some reason I always lmao at Clarkson yelling at his volvo spinning around .

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/GETaylor 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

this was the first episode i ever saw of top gear and MAN was i impressed, the funniest shit on tv for sure

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Oct 13 2012 🗫︎ replies

There's nothing in the world more unimpressed than an unimpressed teenage girl.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/saltytrey 📅︎︎ Oct 15 2012 🗫︎ replies
Captions
The following morning, we were told to report to our test track for the next challenge. Oddly, though, the man in the white coat was nowhere to be seen. What was the actual colour of your car? -Red. It actually was... -No, no, no. Amber gold. Amber gold. Can you remember the exact colour of yours? Sunrise yellow. Lads! Hey, that's... This man's destroying your Volvo. Are you gonna sort him out? The psychopath with the forklift then did the same to my Golf and Hammond's Hyundai. Mind the body kit! This does feel like a terrible... Well, hopefully, this... This had better be good. "As you are 17, it is certain that at some point in the near future, you will roll your car. So, you must now mend it in such a way that your parents won't be able to spot the damage. This is to find out... This is to find out how easy they are to repair." So, right, we'd better get these... -Well, let's get them indoors... -Yeah. ...and break out the hammers. Richard, however, decided he didn't need a hammer. And straightaway, I've improved it. God, a horse of a... Ah! Ah! Argh! You don't need hammers and shouting. See this bit here, small scuff, watch that disappear, thanks to the magic of polish. With the roof done, I now have to sort the bonnet. Here's a tip. Should you ever roll your coupe, stylish. And need to straighten a dent, here's what you do. That's not... Yeah. Jeremy, meanwhile, was cheating. One thing I've learned is that all firemen have at some point crashed their cars when they were teenagers. So, I've borrowed a fireman. Did you ever crash a car? -I certainly did. -When you were 17? RS Turbo, Greenham Common, straight through the fence. That's the... So you understand the plight of the 17-year-old who has stuffed his mom's car? Feeling your pain. So, do you think you could use some fireman equipment to make that like new? That's not what they're for. There were no fires in Surrey. It's too middle class. Spray it the same colour as the car. After just two hours of hard work... It's very important to turn the cloth frequently. ...we had made no difference whatsoever. Yeah, that's plastic. I had to do plastic as well because the fireman's lift has rather changed the shape of the windscreen hole. -Is it... -Then another challenge arrived. Let's have a look. Okay. "You will now race against the clock to see which car is the fastest. "You have to go down the main straight, round the Hammerhead, do a handbrake turn and come back the other way." That doesn't sound very hard. Oh, hang on. No, it says, "The track has been littered with obstacles and you'll have five seconds added to your time for every object you don't hit." -Don't hit? -Well, that's what it says. It was right. The track was littered with all the flotsam that teenagers like to crash into. And then, at the finish line, there was a gap between two parked cars that everyone, except a 17-year-old, can see isn't wide enough. We also discovered that our handbrake turns would be judged by three teenage girls. That actually makes sense because as men, we know that nothing turns a 17-year-old girl on more than a well-executed handbrake turn. Oh, God, yeah, fact. It's like, you know, a peacock has its plumage. Those birds in the jungle, they attract a mate with dancing about. -We have the handbrake. It's... -What it's for. -I have no tail feathers. -But I can do this! Interestingly, girls will always say, "No, we're not interested." Oh, they never show it. They never have ever shown it. -They're suppressing it very well -Yeah, right. Very effectively. Armed with this new information about women, James decided to get some practise... ...while we talked to the girls. I've got a motorbike. -That's nice. -Yeah. Have you seen him? He's rubbish. I'm much better. I did one yesterday at Glastonbury and it was brilliant. And... -That's him being rubbish. -That's him... -I did a huge one. -He just can't do it. He can't do it. And he's got no penis 'cause it came off once. With James cleared off the track, I lined up for the off. Oh, that was a blinding start! What do you reckon his approach is gonna be? -Fast. -Violent. Oh, gotta hit this. Missed! -Oh, that's the bus shelter. -Oh, the bus shelter's good. This is like any 17-year-old coming home from work. He's got to the flower stall. Oh, my God, that's substantial! Yee-ha! That was strangely satisfying. Roadworks. That's good. Wheelie bins. Fantastic! Sadly, the handbrake turn was a disaster. There's nothing I can do about the washer bottle. That is a consequence of the accident. Oh, that was still there! Holy cow! Through we go! Yes! James was next. Go! Yes, yes, do it. Oh, for God's sake. No. He's missed the car. Oh, neat! Down the back straight, it was hard to see why he'd bothered with a helmet. Oh, well, Mom, I've just been to the Post Office. I've got a new stamper. But then as he approached the girls, all became clear. They're hot for James May right now! I might as well have cut my penis off for all the good that did. Oh, yes. Good idea! Quick, quick, quick! I know what you're thinking. I want to do it too. There you go. Perfect. Yeah! That's not gone quite as well. So now, it was all down to me. So they've both missed the car, the first obstacle. I won't. Go! Yeah, you see? Oh, yeah. Thirty-five seconds before he moved more than a yard. Right, it's round the Hammerhead in the normal manner. Oh, what a pillock. You all right? -Dead. -Really? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway... -Back to the studio. -That's my line!
Info
Channel: Top Gear
Views: 13,445,718
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: BBC, Top Gear, Challenge, Teenagers, Clarkson, Hammond, May, BBC Worldwide, Top Gear (TV Program), Jeremy, Richard, James
Id: mopar3ddxOM
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 7min 51sec (471 seconds)
Published: Wed Mar 31 2010
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