Now, there's a new TV show in Germany. It's all about cars
and it's hosted by three people. I can't imagine where
they got that idea from, no idea. Anyway, they got in touch with us and they invited us to take them on in
a series of races and challenges. Now, obviously,
we needed somewhere to stage this. Yes, I suggested we did it in the skies
over southern England. In fact, we settled on Belgium,
which was a country invented so that Britain and Germany would have
somewhere to sort out their differences. Yeah and on that point,
the producers told us, "Listen, you are representing the BBC. You can't just turn up
and go on about the war." The meet was set for 9:00 am at Belgium's
second best-known race track, Zolder. And at precisely nine o'clock, our Germans rivals arrived
in their impressive German cars. In fact, we were not late,
we were simply arriving in style. Come on, Biggles! Come on, Algie! We're on our own. We're...
playing for time and it is running out! I think we might have overdone this. It could be worse. We could have come
on the back of Bobby Charlton! -Jeremy. Hi.
-How are you? Good to see you. How are you? Our small talk was friendly,
but, to be honest, we were a bit nervous. Sure, they had a jolly man in a suit. He's called Carston von Ryssen,
he has no racing experience at all, but then they also had Tim Schrick,
a touring car driver, and Sabine Schmitz,
the Nuerburgring specialist. And they were up against us lot. The first challenge had been dreamed up
by the Germans. It's called double decker racing
and the idea is simple. The car on the bottom has a throttle,
brakes and gears but no steering wheel. because that's fitted
to the car on the top. Now, because there are only
three presenters on each side and you need eight people
to operate the four cars, each team is allowed to get someone
from their film crew to help out. That's a problem for the Germans, because,
while they have a sound recordist, a cameraman and a director,
he is the same man. So, their coverage of this race
is going to look like this... Mind you, it's not that brilliant for us, 'cause, although we have
a very large film crew, there was only one volunteer
to sit above me and, if I am honest, it is not
the one I would have picked. Still, he is very brave.
He once fought a shark. He lost, but anyway! We do six laps and have six white stripes. If you finish the first one,
you take one off. James, will you promise to use
the throttle and not just the brake? It's a bit odd
not having a steering wheel. These Metros also had quite good steering,
so this is a good way round to do it. It doesn't make a difference, you idiot. -The steering is done by the Metro.
-You're steering the Jag. The good thing here is
they've Golfs on the roof. Now, Golfs are heavy. Metros are made out of snake skin. Right. Here we go. Yes! Hang on, Jeremy. We've got an early lead! We're already at the back! Jesus, that is going to roll over
if we are not careful. At the end of lap one,
the German system was working well. Whereas in the Metro squadron... Look at what you are doing, left, left. Left! Smooth! Right! Then there was
a complete communication breakdown. Left, left, left! The Germans were now first and second. This is a disaster! Then there was another one.
My wing men went mad. Get him on the inside. No. No. No! -What the hell have you done that for?
-What do you mean? -That was your fault.
-How can it be my fault? You're on the bloody steering! James and Richard think it's all over
and they're right! Rubbish, you steered into the gravel. It's designed to stop Formula One cars. How the hell do you think
a Jaguar with a Metro on its roof... This was our darkest hour. We're being annihilated. With us out, all we could only hope
was that Jeremy and Kiff the sound man would race on cleanly and fairly. Ram him. Ram! Go, Kiff. Yes, they've gone wrong. We got them! Tim Schrick was not just off. He was out. Now it was just us
versus Sabine and a man in a suit. Help yourself, Kiff!
There's no fighter escort. Up the inside, baff, yes! Go, Kiff. They've gone down! Keen to defend his country and his job
on Top Gear, Kiff made a bold move. Giving them something to think about. It also gave us something to think about. -Jeremy! Jeremy, my arm's come off!
-What? My arm's come off! Nobody's ever said that
in a car race before! We were now on the last lap. Get up the inside, Kiff! It is quite difficult now, Jeremy. What? Oh, no, it is the finish. No, No! I've let Britain down! Oh, no! Hopefully, though, we could redeem
ourselves in the next challenge.
