Teddy Ray- Keep Yo Distance (KYD Full Performance)

[Applause] [Music] what's up with it what's up with it y'all give it up for the rest of the comics y'all seen tonight all the comics and kev too keep it going for kevin this [ __ ] is the most head ass [ __ ] literally because he just got so much head but dog shout out to y'all how y'all feeling we good okay praise god that's what's up y'all out here bundled up if did nobody know no better they would think this was a homeless shelter i know y'all can't see the audience but these people they over here just [ __ ] corona we're gonna cuddle up under blankets but i'm assuming all y'all wrote together though right lies lies i see some hookups of people that just met tonight y'all been smashing during the runner why y'all quiet should i say yeah should i i ain't gonna lie it took me a minute to smash it took me like i was very like no i can't talk to none of y'all too much three months no stop it don't touch me but then you know the flesh get weak [Laughter] at a certain point i think america was just like you know what whatever happened i just left the south the corona don't exist in the south [ __ ] is at the club here the hookah what's up with the dog how y'all feeling like [ __ ] sick now but it's fun i can't lie you feel like a foreigner when you walk in with a mass they know you're not from there walk in the magic city with a basket this [ __ ] care about himself i don't know when corona happened it was like everybody was pressing me because i guess the news said fat [ __ ] was the first to die that's what the dude said that was like if you owe peace watch out and i was just like i had no game plan i can't hurry up quick [ __ ] and drop a hundred so i was just like whatever lord you you see it you see how the end go that's why i've been outside but socially distanced back up but i've been outside i've been living my life i went hiking i went vegan for two months this year didn't lose no way none not a pound tony that [ __ ] is some [ __ ] not a pound not a pound you lost hell away i'm over here eating oreos all day all day [ __ ] i'm hungry i'm starving i'm eating celery and oreos [Laughter] i'ma get it together though i got to i got to at a certain point like when i bought this hoodie today i was like i shouldn't be keep buying a four axis [ __ ] that's sir that's got to stop this is my last four eggs that's gonna be the name of my first special my last four hours big [ __ ] buy clothes like that like get some cigarettes like it's gonna be my last pack i swear i'ma get to the threes next week i swear i would get to the threes cold part is i was this size before and then i shrunk and then i got back big so i don't know what the lord see fit i want to sue postmates you know how that one [ __ ] sue mcdonald's if it wasn't for postmates i would have my old my old 15 body i swear as soon as post base dropped [ __ ] i wanted to know what everything tasted like i'm not going to drive to glendale digging for some halal but i'll have it sent to me alpha shall have it sent to me and i was getting a little paper back then run it up the paper scares right now i had a savings at the beginning of corona it's gone this was like the hit the button [ __ ] all fit like it's terrible when you just spend your last on just weed and groceries like this was supposed to be the money that saved my family [ __ ] i'm at the grocery store just pushing the cart people was complaining about the money tonight i'm not complaining but if y'all you know i am a whole if y'all would like to make it rain loose ones on me feel free i've been preaching during the quarantine i've been doing this thing where they hit the cash app i ain't never felt more like a stripper just to hear them dings i got to be with loose ones feel like hitting your body this is interesting ken i respect it but i feel like you getting enough money you could have had one heating lamp out just one kev one this [ __ ] got me driver service last night they could get a heat lamp they gotta caught an uber and replacing the heat glyph cab driver didn't know what he was in store for i had that [ __ ] all on the esau i'm like i gotta buy some weed first before we before we go out here we can't drive it up slosted it was like where do i uh where do i stop like keep going when you see hooper slow down anybody smoking here why you dodge your hair so gingerly she was like i mean if you have it i mean like it wasn't a for real yes like even kevin i was like you smoking down camp he just can't hit the blood at least one time i don't know why my spirit just told me he could lie to y'all but i when know smoke you know you see it to hear he'd be lying i see it i know he'd be sitting up there just put peppermint oil in his hair just with a joint to his lip [ __ ] bumping that butt belong [Music] is there a light where is the light okay take my time okay thank you i ain't been doing commonly that comedy she see i've been [ __ ] up commonly i ain't been doing commonly like that i saw like a fox news reporter trying to say kamala kamali harris like [ __ ] you know her name shout out to kabala y'all [ __ ] with the first black lady in the office i don't know i mean i'm with it though i'm right but something about that we did it joe just felt very i feel like that quote gonna bite us in the ass later we did it joe we [ __ ] over all these [ __ ] lives we did it we made all the black people homeless we did it i'm joking come on i love you i don't know what you're about to do i don't study politics i just listen to [ __ ] on street quarters i bought this outfit for tonight i'm about to return it tomorrow damn but i popped the tags on the shoes [ __ ] huh right because i'm like this [ __ ] cam gonna have 4k cameras let me uh let me not act like doug who's gonna see this like [ __ ] everybody it was just a good morning america right now ellen degeneres is sitting up with their titties loose watching this with a bonnet on just stop it stop it doug is he still here we're gonna get you some get em dug shirts man that [ __ ] gonna sell out bro you don't even know sometimes you just gotta embrace the negative sometimes i did a booty grabbing video with hella eczema 23 comments of just nothing but rhinoceros comparisons and now i'm gonna come out with a blood called teddy's fingers [Music] see how god work you gotta turn it around you gotta turn it around [Applause] won't he do it did that hurt that tattoo on your forehead for real you hella honest bro everybody else here trying to act hard and [ __ ] hurt i got one tattoo on my chest i don't like it cause if now i look like a titty tat i had a period where my eczema had cleared up and so i just went and got tatted and i was trying to get the whole chest done and it didn't really work out because when they told me how much it cost huh you said how long ago was this hello yeah just a random hello oh okay i thought you been like hello like you would asleep the rest of the set like hello good morning how are you it was a black hello okay i get it i get it i get it it's cold my ears is numb [ __ ] i can't feel my fingers no more um hey thank y'all so much i appreciate y'all y'all keep it up for all the comics kev uh yeah hit my cash app too all the people out there i ain't too shy for that teddy ray lol um i'm selling nudes i got the only fans called teddy's titties subscribe i ain't doing nothing explicit i'm just you know making breakfast with my shirt off and [ __ ] um but yeah thank y'all so much i'm outta here

Channel: Teddy Ray

Views: 529,273

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Id: 5vHW2WTglEQ

Length: 12min 28sec (748 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 29 2021