Technoblade Greek mythology (full saga)

[Music] let me tell you a story tommy a story of a man called theseus his country well his city-state technically was in danger and he sent himself forward into enemy lines he slayed the minotaur and saved his city you know what they did to him tommy they exiled him he died in disgrace despised by his people that's what happens to heroes tommy but he saved everyone the greeks knew the score thank you greek karma for the 50 i had to donate because you brought up greek mythology thank you thank you dude greek mythology is actually fun i took a class on it in college there's just so much there's so many memes in ancient mythology that's that's my theory is that myths are just ancient memes that have been passed down through history and you know if if the story has been passed down for like 3 000 years it it's got it's got to be pretty good at something you know it's got to be decent what are some fun stories what are some fun stories from mythology i've forgotten a lot of them i'm not gonna like oh i remember there was this one time where uh fun mythology with technoblade this is this is part of the stream now all right didn't i all right the chat's all here for the mythology all right so there was a big uh wait i think this started the war of troy there was a big all the gods were having a big having a big meet up and they invited literally everyone except eris the god of discord which you know they didn't use discord back then they use skype of course so can't invite eris and she was uh she was not very happy show she throws this apple she just chucks this apple into the party and it says like you know only the only the hottest goddess can take this apple and it just rolls directly in between who was it it was like artemis athena whoever was married to zeus she's probably very important and i forgot her name and they they're just like they just immediately descend into fighting because they just they have zero emotional maturity at all and they're like all right zeus you gotta decide which one of us is the hottest and zeus is like i would never do something because you know zeus is the god of feminism zeus is like i i would never do something as demeaning as rankin women based on their looks so you guys should instead and then he opens up the greek phone book and he's like uh uh ask paris this random guy asked bears yeah yeah so they all go they all go like three goddesses descend to the mortal plane and just and just confront this random guy that zeus threw under the bus because he didn't he didn't want to deal with that mess hera okay okay it's hera and there is they're just like talking to him he's like i don't i don't want to choose one of you and like relax like okay promise not to get mad if i choose one of you and they're like we promise we're not gonna get mad and then he picks i i don't actually remember who he picked i think it was maybe artemis and then the other two were like all right it's time to genocide his people it's time to genocide his people and then the that's how the war of troy happened and they all died terribly are you guys enjoying the mythology is this fun hera aphrodite and all right aphrodite it's not artemis i'm stupid i'm stupid all right now that makes sense because aphrodite chad don't make fun of me don't make fun of me wait do i have a mythology book wait wait wait where's my backpack from college do i still have the sacred text i don't think it's here i think okay i have like i brought the actual book back from college that has all the original texts that have been restored throughout the ages this is some high level stuff because the problem with the mythology is that like if i tell a story someone's going to be like that's not how it went technoblade and then they're gonna give like one of the other 10 versions of the story because it's been 3000 years it's oral storytelling they came up with like 50 different versions okay okay i'll admit that the artemis part was simply incorrect but sometimes i'll say something that i i'm sure i'm reading it directly from the source like i have a translated ancient greek text would it be ancient greek or would it be would it be roman and they like translated it to that look i don't care i'll like i'll have like a primary source and i'll have some guy in the comment section like uh technoblade you're wrong you're wrong technoblade i'm not i have the source right here what what's your source wikipedia mary think of the 50 more mythology time with techno oh i actually have a story i remembered because people there were a few comments where people are sitting here like actually technically these wasn't a hero he was he was a terrible person technoblade i'm sitting like oh my god shut up you nerds you nerds no one cares he's still the founding hero of athens i don't care if he was a douchebag alright he's still a greek hero what do you mean besides literally which mythological figures look like saints by by modern standards they're like they're all terrible people come on come on so many of them are just the worst they're just the worst oh well the thesis story actually does work i mean obviously there's slightly more details than i could fit and there's actually an astounding amount of parallels between tommy in it and theseus if you think about it all right because like they both they both had like their their little city state they wanted to save all right they're both they're both the heroes of their own story they both a lot of sacrifice and let me tell you something they both they both ruled for a bit they both got kicked out by their own people and let me tell you something theseus and tommy those guys would not be caught dead respecting women let me tell you theseus's whole plotline is just ditched a woman feeling good that you you can call them a lot of things but you cannot call them simps let me tell you that theseus was no simp listen you laugh but the parallels are astounding because like it's like most of the greek heroes like just died tragically that was my point about nothing good happening to heroes they all just die they all just die miserably i think heracles was like i had like one of the best ends and he died on a fire he died in a fire theoretically he ascended to the to the divine plane or something but he died in the fire that's that's the main detail here i guess he got to be like a god afterwards but still died in a fire kind of sucks kind of sucks i think he was poisoned by something i don't know i'm not clear it's been a while it's been a while chat centaur blood yeah the centaur blood you're forgetting about perseus oh god what did perseus do again ah ah perseus i know that guy yep ah perseus now there was a perseus i know who that is yep yep that name sounds familiar alongside cadmus oh of course i know cad missile everyone knows cadmus he founded thieves perseus ah yes beheaded the uh medusa hmm i remembered the saw yep hmm he was the king of my myceni yep i know i know that i know that place yeah i i knew about this i knew oh yeah i knew all of this yep and he was married to andromeda yep who could forget about yeah i know what drama is yeah yeah he was the the son of the he was the grandson of the the king of argos yep yep chad i have literally no idea who perseus is i've definitely heard his name but i don't remember i don't know anything about him i don't know anything about him you guys are all perseus percy jackson nerds all right don't bring that up around me all right no nothing fills me with fury than when you reference greek mythology and people like oh zeus oh i know him he's the guy from percy jackson and he's like i i will punch you in the face i will punch you in the face right here don't say that without imagine thousands of years of mythology getting like passed down through oral storytelling since before writing was invented and then people know it from percy jackson imagine listen fun fact technoblade is actually 25 greek and i never knew my grandmother on the greek side so i could be a greek like i could be like a greek semi-demigod all right those guys still get clout right right semi-demigods yeah everyone talks about the semi-demigods oh everyone loves those guys yeah we get we get powers um powers yum all right yeah semi-dummy but god pug let me look this up what do you call someone who is one-fourth greek god these answers are the these results are absolutely not correct these this is absolutely not okay let me replace one fourth with one quarter a quarter god is a person oh i'm a quarter god quarter god pog all right wait no this is from some fandom website this isn't legit this isn't legit no all right well quora.com now that's the now that's where i go for my information okay these guys are a bunch of nerds i'm not reading this all right all right we're going with the demi semi god or this semi whatever i don't care quarter god let's go let's go pog our argent silent thank you for the 20 while the offspring of a god and mortal is called demigod or half blood the child grandchild of a demigod is called a legacy is this is this real or is this percy jackson because if it's if it's the former don't speak to me perseus did many things such as killing medusa and saving andromeda but he is most notably remembered as the only greek hero to not die a horrible death andromeda is the god of speed bridging right is that what she's known for i think that's what she's known for sapphire both think of the 20 when this is all said and done i can see you being a high school teacher either the guy teaching world history or mythology you'd be everyone's favorite oh incredible i actually did have a english teacher that would always get he'd just always get sidetracked i don't think i learned any english but i learned a lot about diana ross so you know that's what high school is all about would oedipus be considered a greek hero maybe i mean he's a tragic hero isn't he yeah it's a tragic hero that counts that counts i'm not googling this right now i'm not googling this athenian tragedy blah blah blah blah blah blah became the king of thebes ah thieves again yeah that city that cadmus founded thieves pog yeah i'm not i'm not gonna read any more of this chat you don't need you don't need to tell me about what oedipus did everyone knows everyone you do not need to explain an english major chat i was an english major and i also took psychology classes there's like a whole thing named after him all right blair think of the twenty i can't believe aries pig from the lightning thief became a streamer oh you know it nice behold dawn says think of the 20 it's unapologetic mythology nerd time the reason all these heroes died tragically is because they let their victories go to their heads so hubris is the real culprit but we wouldn't know anything about that mr blood god oh i would i look listen here of course i don't suffer from hubris because hubris is a flaw and i am perfect therefore i don't have hubris that would be an imperfection and we all know i'm perfect see it's as simple as that it's as simple as that just a basic deduction think of the 20 imagine gilgamesh reacting to the fact that he is two-thirds god one-third man for the first time dude those fractions got crazy you know i was thinking about it and heracles he wasn't really a demigod he was like 50 like six percent god or something because he was related to zeus like three times he was like a triple zeus but i don't think the greeks really understood how like genetics worked so they probably they probably thought he was like 150 percent zeus because he was related to him in three different ways and that's why he was so awesome then helping of the twenty bro i walk into the stream just to hear techno diss percy jackson listen percy jackson is great and all but the fact that it's the only reason people know greek mythology is terrible all right it just ruins me it ruins me dummy demi god pug all right how should i fill the time more greek mythology you guys want to hear more greek mythology so you guys know like jason from from the argonauts right like he got he got the golden fleece and all that which was important for reasons i have forgotten and frankly do not care about you guys want to hear about jason so jason he had to get this golden fleece for reasons which were probably important but i don't care about them wait no i think he got like kicked out because his dad was like it was like some prophecy and his dad was like i don't know like i need this uh something about like kevin like one sandal or something he's like oh god this guy this guy jason's gonna overthrow me i should send him on an impossible quest to retrieve this golden fleece good luck achieving that and so anyways he goes and he goes and gets like all the greek he they do like a whole crossover episode like all the greek demigods and heroes show up and they're all they're all getting this golden fleece and anyway say they do all that and while he's while he's there it's whatever the island just call it i don't remember what the island is called and he uh jason meets this girl and she's like the daughter of the king of wherever they are and they get the golden fleece and now they're fleeing now they're fleeing the argonauts are all out of there and he's fleeing with medea who is the daughter of the of the king of wherever and uh but the problem is the king was the king was catching up to them all right they were all in boats there was like this whole fleet going after them and medea jason's new girlfriend is like don't worry guys i got this because she she kidnapped i think her brother i think she had her brother with her so what she did was she uh she chopped your brother into a thousand tiny pieces and then cast them into the ocean and the thing about greek mythology is that you have to bury all of the body to go to the afterlife so now that the king had to stop his fleet and pick up thousands of pieces of his of his son and that's how they got away that that is how medea helped the argonauts escape is the most the single most brutal brutal killing of her brother that i've ever heard of and you know what jason did you know what jason did later in his life he was like i should cheat on medea i should find i should cheat on her that is the that is a good idea i think this is a good idea for my my long-term prosperity is to cheat on the woman that did this this i could foresee no consequences happening from this anyways it did not work out it did not work out yet it did not work out for good for jason that was not a good lifetime life long-term decision i have to say i have to say do not know what that guy was thinking did i mean at that point he deserved he deserves what happens to him i mean how could you not see that coming i i think i i think she killed like all his children or something i don't know maybe she baked them into a pie maybe that was someone else i don't know i don't know i do not think anyone survived that that was just that was just not a good idea that was just a bad was just not a good idea i have to say i have to say spoiler alert oh i'm sorry you you were trying to read that story from like 3 000 years ago and now i've spoiled it and now i've spoiled it all right so yeah some important lessons on human nature to learn from that story i'm gonna there's gonna be people i'm gonna have for like missed some small detail but that's that's the gist of it that's the gist of it all right there was this one guy oh there's this one guy in the trojan world oh let me i have to i'm not gonna pronounce his name right let me uh no he he was he was part of that it was no no it's not it's not odysseus it is not odysseus everyone knows who odysseus is all right now this this is a really obscure character he literally did like one thing but it was really funny so okay you know what i'm just i'm just gonna use my computer it's not apollo it's an obscure guy all right all right so what did this famous archer well not really famous but he had a famous bow all right his name was it was like flock to these or something i don't know that's what it's spelled right yeah i spelled it right i don't pronounce that all right but there was this guy we'll call him phil let's call him phil all right just ignore that phil was here all right and he was he was big because he had uh he had uh her achilles bow and obviously her achilles pretty big deal so having his bow and arrow i think i think uh what was the story behind the bow so heracles like he like he burned himself in like a pier or something when he was poisoned so he could descend to the god realm and die on his own terms and he gave his bow to like the one guy there that was willing to willing to set the fire because everyone was like oh no we can't burn you to death we respect you too much and so i i think he gave the guy about and uh then he gave it to his son philoctities or whatever i don't know i don't care so anyways so the trojan war is happening and they're getting uh they're getting all the greek heroes together so they can uh trojan war pog and just just ruin paris life this is this is all from that story earlier that i told last stream where they were all the gods got butthurt that paris said aphrodite was the prettiest and so they're like all right time time to destroy troy or whatever i don't know i don't know actually i think it's because they stole they stole like the wife of the king of the spartans or something and that was like helen i don't know and they just hope they'd be chill i'm not clear on the details but this flocked this phil guy he had the he had the bow of hercules of heracles is what he was called in greek times hercules is the roman version and so obviously he had to come along for the ride and then they got to like some island they got to some island and i think the gods were butthurt because the guys are always buttered or something so they send down these snakes and these snakes they they bite phil in the foot all right they bite phil in the foot but he doesn't die and they they kill the snakes or i don't know i don't know what happens to the snakes they're not yet they haven't gone to troy yet and they're like all right and the guy's like all right we can still go because you know i'm just spitting the foot it's fine i'll get better and the guy's like i don't know man you mmm that foot wound it smells kinda bad smells kind of bad i'm not gonna lie to music guys guys you are are you serious like could could you please could you please stay behind we really do we really just don't want to smell this for the for the rest of the war we're we're just gonna leave you here on this on this empty eye i don't know if they haven't we're just going to leave you on this island all right and and do the whole war without you he's like are you are you kidding me i i have the i have the magic the magic bow of heracles i i have the the most like important bow are you kidding me and they're like yeah and then they left him behind on that island they left him behind on the island i think it was for 10 years i think it was for 10 years they left him on the island with the god bow they didn't even take the god bow they just let him keep it and they went and did the war without him and so like 10 years later 10 years later it's been 10 years they can't invade troy it's not working out and they they kidnap some prophet or something i'm not clear on the details and the prophet tells them all right guys the one way the only way that troy will fall is if you guys have the magic bow of heracles the magic bow of heracles is the key and they have to like they have like awkwardly sail back and get to this guy they ditched on an island for 10 years because his foot smelled bad and that's that's how they won the war they got the bow that that's just so awkward just imagine sitting like all right all right which one have you brought the magic bow of heracles uh sir uh sir we we we left him on an island for ten years why would do that well is his foot smell bad sir his foots you gotta you gotta understand sir it's it smelled it smelled really bad it smelled really bad and that's how it all happened telemachus i don't remember anything about telemachus i'm sure in some versions this is dad they left behind i don't know i don't know paris picked aphrodite and in thanks that he picked her she gifted him the guy's wife as a gift i remember this actually i remember because i remember uh athena and hera promised him stuff that is just objectively way better than a girlfriend all right just straight up way more worth it it was like it was like eternal like riches or like stuff and he's like nah nah i no no paris paris literally went i choose that guy's wife he was offered so many things like nope don't want it i want that guy's wife paris was such a symp so many people died because paris was a simp oh my god daniel think of the 25 well achilles by far the best but worst hero ever oh yeah didn't he have like that friend that died terribly i forget if that was worth turning into a meme or not oh and he had the whole rivalry with hector uh i think he was like brothers with paris or something who cares who cares let's get our stuff uh you should tell us all about oedipus no no why would you do that to me harry thank you for the 20 can you tell us the story of orion uh no i i do not remember that guy i know he's a hero and the i think he's in the justice league but i don't think that's what you mean nikki think of the nation high tech now i actually really like the less well-known stories about greek mythology and how they connect to it all such as the story of europa and her being the mother of two out of three judges of the dead how about odysseus oh odysseus did a lot of cool stuff most of it i've forgotten or like i sort of half remember but not enough to retell it so i'd have to i'd have to look up the google document that i actually have uh okay this story is actually good but i've forgotten that the most crucial the most crucial context detail okay everyone knows the story of the trojan horse that is just not necessary to tell that it's just not okay you know we'll just save it for later we'll save it for later it's the story about how like this particular hero was born but i didn't write down the name of that hero i just wrote down the story i only have so many mythology memes by the way if you guys think this is gonna become like a recurring thing although i guess people could like submit their their favorite myths i think most of the fun of it is coming up with the funniest way to tell it okay i'm 90 sure it was achilles all right elias i i think that that sounds all right ah yes it was achilles i'm smart i'm smart all right all right so this is uh i'm not sure where this ranks canonically there's some there there's some contradiction who was this there was like this one guy let me quickly google yeah lucian yeah yeah it was lucian i think lucian wrote this one uh lucian was this uh it started with an owl i'm sure it started with an elusion was this guy you like rewrote like behind the scenes of famous greek myths he was like this roman writer and he was like he was like the me of roman times he'd like parody myths and he wrote so i'm not sure how this ranks canonically but you know it's like a 2000 year old story so now it's it now it's the myth okay so basically zeus was uh zeus was uh he he was he was doing he was simping he was he was sitting here chasing down some woman to hold hands with as zeus does you know how zeus is and he just strolls on by prometheus who's i don't know what what do they do the priest that they have like chained somewhere because he gave he gave men fire or something i he's trapped somewhere and prometheus is and he's he's making fun of prometheus and prometheus is like you know you don't you don't want to you don't want to hold hands with that woman zeus you do not want to hold hands with that woman and he's telling prometheus prometheus there is literally nothing you could tell me that could possibly make me not hold hands with this woman and prometheus is like i don't know you're talking to like the guy that does the prophecies the guy that does the prophecy zeus like okay fine okay fine what prophecy could possibly make me not hold hands with this woman and he says okay well uh the the firstborn son of this woman will surpass its father all right i'm not going to hold hands with this woman in fact i'm going to marry her off to some random guy in the phone book um who to get married off to i'm going to marry him off to peleus i'm going to marry him off to peleus yes this random guy like 90 all the greek gods were like obsessed with not getting surpassed all of them just did not want to get surpassed by their offspring that's like all they did i don't know what it was about greeks in the ancient times and not wanting their sons to surpass them but that's like all they worried about they killed so many people for it although i have to say it was kind of bizarre because he's been like oh i have to find like the most irrelevant random mortal to hold hands with this woman and bear a child and then he picked like he picked like a king it was like a king they just do not care about the mortals and then that that person that uh the prophecy that was achilles and he was he he helped a little bit with the whole trojan war thing he helped a little bit just a tad i'm not sure how that ranks in the canon because i don't think i don't think prometheus was supposed to be there at the time but it's fine it's fine it is it there is a primary source for it there is a primary source [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] oh

Channel: Aybit

Views: 493,591

Rating: 4.9819727 out of 5

Keywords: Technoblade, Greek mythology, Dream SMP, Minecraft

Id: bi6y8K4JllU

Length: 28min 56sec (1736 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 22 2020