Teachers, Who Was the Dumbest Student?

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professors of reddit who was the dumbest student you ever had and what was so dumb about them my sister is a french teacher not a professor so i'm not sure if this counts but here goes everyone in the class had a fairly lengthy piece of french homework and one student put the entire thing in google translate but translated it to spanish a student in my economics class started his final essay with this we are all familiar with the country africa yet at the same time we know little about them all we know is that it is hot there african americans live there and they are really poor this begs the question why is africa that poor it was just so jam-packed with stupid i had to stop grading for 24 hours more please the one who would regularly hand in essays which were obviously copy pasted they didn't bother to change the font or color of paragraphs that were lifted from other websites but they never argued or shared their opinion but would ask vague questions such as but what is the united states at the end of a lecture or tutorial that was about a legal decision this happened in high school senior year our teacher was talking about the phases of the moon and this girl raised her hand and asked if other countries have moons too she thought the moon was only for the us i mean we put a flag on it so it's ours as a ga teaching freshman english i had a couple instances of cheating that left me speechless at first my university uses an online plagiarism checker and the students know this with one student over half of his essay was copied from a website he looked genuinely shocked when i called him out on it and then told me that his mother wrote the paper for him i explained that his mother writing his paper was also cheating then he asked if he could get credit for the half that wasn't from a website another time the students had to analyze a movie showing how it used the hero's journey as plot structure this was an easy assignment seeing as how nearly every modern movie uses this structure the student copied the wikipedia summary of aladdin word for word and he denied doing it he argued it was a coincidence that his entire essay was the exact same as wikipedia's not a professor but back when i was in high school i was a library aide and i was walking into classrooms distributing some books and i walked into a class with the professor in the middle of an angry lecture on plagiarism because one of the students turned in an essay that started within my 25 plus years of experience in this field that's how i start all my cover letters for entry-level jobs that require 10 plus years experience happened in the first week of a college anthropology course prof let's list a few basic differences between modern humans and animals student we have a heartbeat on a somewhat related note when i was younger we were doing a thing at the science center with thermosensitive paper and my hands didn't leave a single mark everyone else's did in this was also in the summer after being indoors for a while my hands are always cold but that day i learned i literally have no warmth and maybe no circulatory system i had a student plagiarize on the final exam it was a take-home essay short answer exam they knew to cite any sources and to put it in their own words the kicker this particularly bright bulb plagiarized me the professor she tried to pass off my words as her own oh i you should have returned her paper with something like i'd give myself an a for this you get an f though a student once threatened to sue me over the definition of the terms necessary and sufficient that he had mixed up in an exam no biggie to mix them up actually for a math major it might be but loudly threatening to sue me over an age-old textbook definition in an exam review session was kind of stupid it did entertain all other students who were present another student once requested letters of recommendation for five of the top ten masters programs in europe while being the second worst in his class of several hundred graduates may or may not be dumb but my friend and i went to her uncle's house which had this piece of paper framed and put on the wall it was a zero stroke 20 on a true or false quiz her uncle was a professor and was just too impressed by such an achievement that he had to put it in his home less than one in a million chance of doing that with random answers i saw some amazingly bad attempts at plagiarism in my day these included one plagiarizing from an article in a journal the professor edited this was a grad student too plagiarizing from the same source as another student in the same class first hit on google is not your friend three turning in a sophomore lit survey paper referring to a poet's use of hendecker syllabics i have a doctoral degree and i had to look that one up googled author's name and hendeca syllabics and there was the paper only thing the student contributed was her name for when caught red-handed insisting tearfully that she didn't plagiarize her roommate wrote the paper for her and her roommate was a dirty plagiarist i was literally speechless for a moment while i grappled with this line of reasoning bonus points this was ms hendecker syllabics one of my students told me he was going to be 21 when he graduated high school i asked him why he explained that he ages two years every year he is 15 turning 16 so that is two years he is probably right that he will not graduate hs till age 21 but not for the reason he mentioned lol idk if it's just me but when i think about how many years i've been at a job or in a relationship i have to measure it like 15 16 16 17 17 18 otherwise i'm scared i'll add an extra yellow mayo i am not the best with numbers i had a student who wrote an art history paper about leonard davin kai didn't even run that sucker through a spell check or anything referred to him as that throughout the entire paper thanks to everyone who pointed out that i couldn't spell in my post about spelling things wrong i had an entire research paper lazy thrown together last minute ramblings referring to generically modified foods throughout one of their advantages is apparently that they are cleaner because they are grown in labs and not outside in the dirt had lots of students from saudi arabia they typically pushed boundaries so i learned quickly to set boundaries and be firm fair with everyone in the class one guy didn't see the need to come to class much or do homework and his grade suffered greatly he came in one day and said i want a better grade my family is the xxx's i don't remember the name but apparently they were wealthy and well respected i didn't care and i reminded him of his lack of effort he was p and he made some generic threats but nothing specific i could call anyone about i found out from the other saudi students most of which hated the guy that he said frickin during the last week and went home without taking any finals maybe he was more arrogant but i'd say he was also a dumbass not a professor but in my statistics class a girl asked if changing the minus to a plus would change the answer not a negative to her positive like she wasn't questioning how negatives worked she sincerely wanted to know if changing from subtraction to addition would change the answer to the professor's credit she answered with a kind yes and only a slight pause i don't know if this qualifies as dumb or is closer to stupid but i had a student who didn't show up for class regularly and her grade was going to be a c maybe a d depending on her final exam what made her dumb however was how she tried to cheat on the final exam she reached down into her bag and took out her phone put it on the desk typed something into it looked at the test looked at her phone looked back at her test rechecked her phone then answered whatever question she was looking up just to make sure i let her do it one more time i was watching her the whole time and she was completely oblivious to it she got an f i didn't have any particularly dumb student also not a professor but a graduate teaching assistant but i did mark one essay that began so eloquently with do we born with intelligent that's commitment to the cause right there if i've ever seen it i didn't believe any student was dumb he she may only have needed the right motivation until i met rj rj was dumb rj didn't realize that the chicken we eat was the same as the animal rj was 21 at the time one of my husband's colleagues said a kid came up to him after an exam and said i didn't know the answers to the questions you asked on the test so i made up my own questions and answered them the professor said that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard and when i go to lunch i'm going to tell all my friends until i got to the word professor i was picturing a smart about third grader as the student i don't know if this being a higher education setting makes it funnier or more sad probably both we were discussing the three most common phases of matter solids liquids and gases using water as the example i asked a student to tell me what we call the solid phase of water he replied oil i was dumbstruck but mine was only temporary i'm not a professor but i studied modern languages at university and met a girl who had managed to spend an entire year abroad a compulsory part of the course living in the country where her language was spoken working at a job with local people and sharing a flat with three local people and after the year was up her language skills had not improved one jot and her flatmates had to talk to her in english because she couldn't understand them otherwise but i mean i fully appreciate that some people find it much harder than others to learn a foreign language that's not actually the part i find dumb the dumb part is getting into 30k pounds of debt and spending four years of her life on a degree then putting absolutely zero effort into actually learning the thing you're paying to learn actually to be that bad at the language after a full year you'd have to make an active effort to avoid it never turn on a television or pick up a magazine spend all your time in english and irish themed pubs and ignore anyone who tried to talk to you i'm not the professor but i did talk to her about this student at the time i was taking an online class each week we had to answer in a discussion board in our own words about whatever the topic was the answers were all public to inspire discussion i researched took my time writing out the answers even though our names showed up i still signed my name at the end of it usually an hour or two after i post my stuff a classmate would post hers too without fail she would copy and paste what i wrote and claimed it as her answer too it was clear she never bothered to read it either because she kept my name at the end of it after seeing this happen over two weeks i emailed our professor and voiced my complaint she emailed me back and said it's already been noticed by her the following week that classmate was no longer on the class roster i was always curious who would pay that kind of money just to steal answers and not bother to learn she wasn't young either we had profile pages she was older than me by at least 20 years was just bizarre and dumb when i was working as a graduate assistant the dean of the graduate school where i worked was reviewing the capstone projects of two police officers who were about to graduate with master's degrees in criminal justice she quickly discovered that they had plagiarized she figured this out because when she opened the electronic documents there was a significant amount of text that was hyperlinked the links brought her to wikipedia i once had a girl in my class ask why meteors always fall into craters for context this was journalism degree and we were talking about libel laws this girl did not pass you can't expect her to sit on a burning curiosity like that all the way to her 245 astronomy class i was a student in this class but after an entire chapter of going over the civil war in a history class our teacher as a joke said so who won the civil war a girl raised her hand and said the south and he laughed until he realized she was serious and she tried to defend it saying what we still have slaves right all she had to do to graduate was to show up to a seminar i pointed out the importance of this as it was the last time this mandatory thing was being run and the last chance for her having missed earlier opportunities and i wouldn't run the class next year got an email saying she had a dentist appointment and missed it she failed couldn't get her degree and had to come back 18 months later for it i wouldn't say dumb but definitely baffling and annoying she had somehow gotten all the way to college still believing that weirdly and creepily exaggerated coil little girl flirting would get her what she wanted including with female faculty it was cringey to see in action literally tilting her head to the side playing with her hair pivoting her leg back and forth combined with semi-childish speech patterns while glancing up through her eyelashes definitely i'm only talking to this one in front of witnesses territory she told me that she was reading and studying every night and still not making progress on tests and needed help i explained how to make written study materials to help her absorb information better she said she'd done that and reviewed the materials regularly but still wasn't seeing results genuinely concerned and puzzled i asked her to bring me her materials next class period and we'd go over them to make sure they were accurate and useful she agreed next class period rolls around she announces with even more exaggerated mannerisms that wouldn't you know it she was so frustrated with her score on her last test returned before our earlier conversation that she'd thrown her study materials into the trash in a fit of anger and they were all gone almost as if they had never existed i looked her in the eye and said i think you should consider then that self-discipline may be playing a role in your grades in my class she huffed and pouted in outrage and i never saw her again what makes me sad is that clearly someone almost certainly her family had taught her that these behaviors worked no one sticks to a behavior that strongly unless she has had success with it i think you should consider then that self-discipline may be playing a role in your grades in my class i am stealing this phrase it will come in handy thank you i was invigilating a two-hour exam once where students had been given very strong hints about the two essay questions beforehand a student bustled in making an incredible racket an hour late handed his completed essays and 10 minutes later written on completely different paper to the stuff given out during the exam and smirked and waved to everyone as he left his lecturer marked it anyway and gave him zero percent for both essentially failing him as a student had answered completely the wrong questions despite the hints and he figured reporting the student for cheating was too much paperwork the student appealed the score threatened the department head when the zero percent was upheld and was expelled history prof is talking about some expedition or something and mentions antarctica is standing in front of a world map girl raises her hand asks excuse me but where is antarctica prof stands there unable to answer for a few seconds then raises his arm to the map and goes right hee while running his hand under an article and making exaggerated vanna white motions girl goes oh okay i was a little scared more for the professor he had that i am severely underpaid expression i had a student who tried to argue that plagiarism wasn't real after ganking the text of a one-page paper on velociraptors straight from a top google search result for them but if you read something then you're just taking the knowledge and thumping it back into a word processor what's the difference she was a criminal justice major dumb isn't the correct term ignorant is more apt and one of my 17 year old home school students was so ignorant it was scary he read at second grade level and couldn't count past 20 and basic arithmetic non-existent forget writing as his hand spelling was also at second grade level john's mother homeschooled him and finally gave up on it at age 16 17 and enrolling him in our high school my other students hated this sad kid and he was always in fights arguments with them he threatened to kill one of his tormentors and the guy laughed at him i told this guy to cool it because unlike many kids john meant it when he said he'd kill him parents that elect a homeschool should be tested themselves and periodic testing done on the student to see if they're progressing or not high school teacher many years ago i was showing my students clips from romeo and juliet student stared at the screen in total bewilderment for a few minutes then she said sirius is a cancer diagnosis how can he be in this movie he died in titanic well done he made romeo and juliet first and then died on the titanic not my story but in a test where you could bring solved questions with you a student brought a question identical to the one the test paper has instead of just copying the answer and getting an a he glued the solution which he brought with him with a glue stick all he had to do is not being lazy the most astonishing part of this is that the guy brought a glue stick to an exam this was premeditated stupidity not a professor but a high school math teacher i had a student who answered a facetime call during the final exam i just took her phone told the person on the other end not a smart idea and hung up on him i let her continue the test then i caught her cheating off the guy next to her twice so i failed her and if that wasn't enough during the next periods final exam she burst into the room on her phone yelling suck mister always shamo i just yelled go away and she left kid was so self-absorbed and clueless similar thing happened to a guy i knew his phone rang in his bag while he was up front doing a final oral exam even bringing the phone into the room was against exam guidelines and he normally would have failed instantly despite that the examiner was kind told him to not to answer it and they would forget it ever rang you can guess what the guy did next it still baffles me this was just a one time thing because this kid is a pretty sharp student otherwise i'm a flight instructor and was trying to teach my student how to find your ground speed while flying to do this you take two points towns usually that you know the distance between and time how long it takes to fly between them okay bob that took seven minutes to fly between bobsonville and bobsville the distance is 10 nautical miles what is our ground speed some fiddling on a flight computer later while flying the plane five five what five minutes no your speed yeah five minutes so since it took seven minutes to fly 10 miles then our speed is such that it took five minutes yep in case anyone is curious that works out to 85 miles per hour not a professor and it didn't happen in college as well but in my fourth year of high school vwo for all the dutch people here a girl asked the teacher what nazis were note that we had already discussed the second world war in second year of high school and this is the netherlands where the second world war is often discussed in all kind of schools during our remembrance day not a professor heard some arguing from the chemistry class with someone shouting but mercury is a planet how can can there be two mercuries not a professor but i worked at my universities tutoring center while in college had one student who was a sports science major and would come in for tutoring for every single class he had to do this because he was barely literate as in reading maybe on a first grade level but one of his assignments was to write about an important african-american figure he asked me what african-american meant the student was african-american for the record i don't blame him for being dumb i blame every single teacher he ever had whose responsibility it was to ensure that he was learning and instead just passed him on so he would be someone else's problem i bet he could either run the 40 in less than five seconds or consistently hit 18 foot jump shots i graduated high school with guys who were very good at football and could barely read during an oral exam basic engineering electronics a girl could not answer a single question so i ask her simpler questions i bring close the oscilloscope and point at the power switch it was pretty clear it was a switch as it was written in bold letters on off and ask her what was it answer fuse i taught calculus in college there's always several students who are terrible lazy at the subject but this term there was one who was really energetic about appearing to put in the effort in multiple different ways but i'll focus on one i told the class i'd give them extra credit for doing any of the advance problems at the end of the chapters this guy turns an elegant concise handwritten solutions for all of them that'd be hard even for me he even knew how to do epsilon delta proofs that's not something i taught one of the problems involved a variable d and an epsilon delta argument his proof contained the phrase let greek letter epsilon d which is utter nonsense not only in context but in terms of an epsilon delta proof in general it's supposed to be let greek letter epsilon zero without exception he was copying from an instructor's solution manual without knowing the meaning of the symbols i suppose this isn't dumb so much as shameless still dumb because if he just stuck to what you asked he wouldn't have been caught not a professor but i am in gradual school we are in a hybrid program which means we do part online and we go to class five saturdays a semester one guy came to the first class then never came back until the last class we were having a final that day which he didn't know because our midterm was take home he slept through the final even snored a few times and almost fell out of his chair i don't know why he even stayed i'm not a teacher but my dad is a college professor and he often has pretty funny tales however this last semester of psychology and sports students have been a whole new level of dumb he showed them how to use apple then he did it for them for the different chapters of the book all they had to do was literally copy and paste the reference he made for the chapter they used dummy proof you would think right wrong one student copied the wrong chapters one student copied all of the references one student made changes to the references that one i saw big red question marks beside and he noted i did it for you why would you change it to be wrong i had a student when i was at a who took the first quiz in my class but i realized he wasn't on my roster i told him this but he insisted he was in my section soon he stopped coming to section altogether but did insist on handing his exams and papers back to me in lecture i eventually discovered he was supposed to be in my colleague's class but never attended that either after the final exam which he handed in to me he admitted to me that he had just realized he was in the other class and had been confused because his roommate was in my class but i guess it doesn't really matter since i didn't really show up anyway colin i guess it doesn't really matter since i didn't really show up anyway colin he did have a point though if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now
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Channel: OnTap Studios
Views: 58,403
Rating: 4.9316239 out of 5
Keywords: school, school stories, teachers, dumbest students reddit, dumbest students, dumbest student answers, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021, dumb
Id: IzrkqMdNnVA
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Length: 25min 15sec (1515 seconds)
Published: Sun Oct 03 2021
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