Teachers, What's the Funniest Thing You Had to Punish a Student For?

teachers of reddit what's the funniest thing you've heard a student say that you unfortunately had to punish them for teaching a class of high school seniors they would pee about something and wouldn't let me get a word in worst butthole in the class raises his hand for probably the first time in his life so i call on him or he says thank you mr l i don't know what you're trying to tell us but i think everyone needs to shut the frick up so you can talk took everything in my power not to crack up i didn't get him in trouble he won a place in my heart that day seeing students produce quality work that even they didn't know they were capable of is hugely gratifying and my absolute favorite thing about being a teacher kids telling their classmates to shut the frick up so i can teach is a close second though this teacher has had four last names because of remarrying in the last five to six years an eleven-year-old student was wondering why this teacher has had so many names 11 years old mrs have you been married before teacher yes 11 years old oh so you're ho the kid honestly didn't mean it to be mean he just thought that is what you call someone who has been married a few times luckily the teacher didn't take offense to it and said well he isn't wrong however his homeroom teacher wasn't as forgiving i went through this exact thing a teacher started off with my class married then got divorced and went back to her maiden name for a year then married another teacher and took his name this was all before seventh grade we were so confused i worked at an alternative ed school for kids who were expelled from their old schools i taught a class of eighth grade boys so i have tons of great stories my favorite was one day i was reading out loud from the newspaper that old country buffet was closing down and one of my students said are you freaking kidding me while simultaneously punching a hole in the window i laughed so hard but also had to give him detention and fill out a ton of paperwork these kids were no joke i had a full-time therapist in my room with me because it was such a liability to be alone with them the kids had daily therapy sessions to help them deal with their anger issues trauma etc most of my students were affiliated with gangs and got in a lot of trouble for drug-related crimes about half my kids were in detention centers before coming to my classroom and a lot of them had ankle monitors old country buffet kid was an especially large 14 year old his file said he got expelled from his old school because he was very into the twilight series and some kids made fun of him for it so he beat the crap out of them he did need stitches after the window incident ball please i am a teacher but the funniest punishment i know of was not for one of my students it was for my son my son is the quietest kid i have ever met he gets extremely anxious when he was four his grandfather died unexpectedly and he got even quieter for years he did not generally talk with schoolmates or ever ask adults besides me for help i had to explain this to his new teachers every year by the time he was eight it was routine to go to parent teacher conferences and have teachers share he was a good student but they wished he would talk more i went to a conference with his second grade teacher and she said i need to tell you your son got in trouble for talking to friends in class today i asked him to stop and he still disrupted the class so i had to put his name on the board when you get home will you tell him how proud i am of him and give him a high five we had one of the best times ever at family banner that night this was so endearing to hear thank you for that this is more of something a student did about a month ago i hear a kid yelling my eyes are burning i ask him what's wrong and he says that another kid sprayed him with something i go to that kid and he hands me a bottle of warhead spray candy and says it's just water when i told him that water doesn't burn eyes he replies with well i did put salt in it i once had a seventh grader come into class after lunch urgently telling me that she needed to go to the nurse her eyes were watering and they were red and puffy turns out that she'd read online somewhere that you can get high by putting vicks directly on your eyeballs i had recess duty a few years ago a kindergarten girl came running over with another girl right after her and said she called me the b word when i asked the second student if she called the first student the b word she turned to the first one and said mother doesn't start with a b i managed to turn my laugh into a cough but yeah no more recess for her that day i don't think the first girl even realized mother was a swear so she was focused on the word b the child is clearly gifted if she knows that mother doesn't start with b at that age my mom was an elementary teacher and always had a few good ones share one that stands out in my head is a story about a bus ride on a field trip her second grade students started playing some music at one point they started singing along and my mom got really excited because they were spelling their spelling that's so great it took her a moment to realize what they were spelling an entire bus filled with seven and eight-year-olds was rolling down the road with about 40 little voices singing cuz i'm a [ __ ] p i am he that hilarious mental image is one that i can't unsee and i don't want to unsee it i actually didn't punish this kid though i was supposed to but i couldn't stop laughing so whenever my high schoolers whine about something i say into every life a little rain must fall which is my polite and deliberately annoying way of saying suck it up by the end of the year they're so used to it that all i have to do is say into every life and they roll their eyes and grumble but at least they stop complaining well one day a kid comes in my room and he's already complaining about something that hasn't even happened yet so i say into every life and he says a little rain must fall i know but misses down a cali up it's a ref ng thunderstorm right now i got pages to this thread so here we go i teach in a rural school district in wisconsin the kid in question was a self-proclaimed redneck and proud of it he also never swore in front of me because it was impolite i overheard him sometimes but he was careful to watch his language around me one day he tries to sell me sunglasses for a fundraiser but i wasn't entrusted i have prescription sunglasses so i had no interest in putting cheap sunglasses over my regular glasses he kept pressing me telling me that if i wore my sunglasses to a music festival that happens not too far from us the guys would be all over me upon informing him that i was engaged at the time the first words out of his mouth were i ain't seen a ring yet that can plug a hole there was a pause then a look of horror crossed his face oh my god i just said that to a teacher he covered his head and said to me in this quiet pleading voice please don't tell my mom i didn't i had to have a talk with him and documented it in our system as a minor infraction for inappropriate language but never called his mom or sought punishment his reaction was worth it not the teacher but back when i was in high school i witnessed a guy basically break the teacher we were all seniors in a government class and the teacher was the kind who wore a suit and tighter class well spoken wanted his students to succeed put up with zero bulls anyway we were all talking before class began and as the final bell rang and we all started to go quiet this random guy practically shouted and the dude stuck his foot in her pee now she's got athletes see the entire class lost their crap and the poor teacher had this look on his face like he didn't know whether to double over in laughter or yell at the kid he chose to quietly scold the kid while choking back laughs taught speech public speaking class while giving an informational speech on vikings students got to choose their own topic an 11th grade student gave the following transition when it came to raiding coastal cities the vikings much like an overeager or an experienced lover came quickly and unexpectedly it was delivered with the perfect comedic timing a total dead pantone and impeccable poise i braced myself immediately to keep from laughing and felt every student i turned to me in dead silence it was a very conservative school and students were looking to me to see if it was all right to laugh i broke out in a sweat trying to hold back but was successful i had to dock the student 10 for inappropriate language big considering he still got an 85 or so we both agreed it was worth it seventh grader mr wutever do you know what no nut november is his mom was an aide at the school so i told her rather than writing him up or anything he's mostly a really great kid and it was during an art class that i was covering where the teacher left fun activities which led to her pretty informal atmosphere i didn't think any kind of serious punishment was necessary and i thought she'd understand better than an administrator after telling mom what he said i subsequently had to explain to her what no nut november is she told me that if he asks me about it again i'm supposed to ask him if he can even go 24 hours without nothing which was slightly hilarious but mostly horrifying not something to be punished for but i thought this was weird enough to share there are these two students in my school who are black twins every morning when they see me before advisory one says mr wutever you are not black and then the other follows up with mr wutever you're actually black for the record i am asian considering he is a seventh grader he probably can't no he'd implode not a teacher wayward parent of an equally wayward four-year-old i received a call from the vp of my daughter's school one day while i was at work i could tell the vp was holding back her laughter but she tried to remain professional hello your daughter acted out in class today the children were switching from coloring to redding of the carpet she threw her crayons down and pointedly said to the teacher are you freaking kidding me my knee jerk reaction was dammit are you freaking killing me it is clear where she learned this from my second thought was dang i have a kid in junior kindergarten that knows how to use that phrase in a correct form the following year the vp is no longer at the school we attend similar social group and talk often she loves to tell me that making that phone call was one of the funniest calls she has had to make as an educator that's freaking incredible not a teacher but i distinctly remember the last 30 seconds of my seventh grade math class just days before school was out for that summer had a pretty fun math teacher who always kept his classroom purely professional he even wore a different tie every single day this was the only time i've ever seen him with such a hilarious oh crap i fell for it grin i was a part of the teacher's help session class comprised of a mere five students it was the last period of the day we had finished all of the lessons for the class period and were all waiting for the bell the teacher and a kid let's call him johnny who was quite notorious for making borderline inappropriate jokes somehow ended up on the topic of how old school teachers used to punish misbehaving kids with a paddle or yardstick the teacher pulled out a yardstick and abruptly slammed it down on the corner of his desk which made quite a loud whipping sound as a demonstration and johnny thinking on his toes screams out a stereotypical p star level moon followed by just like that baby of course this made everybody begin laughing hysterically and i couldn't help but notice the teacher stunned and trying his hardest not to crack up staring at johnny somewhere in between sending him to the principal's office and i can't believe you've done this expression the moment didn't last long as the bell rang not five seconds after on the way out i appeared back at the teacher now sitting down at his desk still wondering how he fell for something of this level this is gold i was explaining what die hard meant to her class in relation to sports this was a big rugby union school in sydney explained that we were really passionate in that if our team won we'd be happy or if they lost we would be sad you kid asks what team do you follow so i answer the waratahs i do love them but their 2017 season was awful without skipping a beat the kid turns around and just goes you must be pretty freaking miserable then sir as a teacher i had to tell him off internally though i appreciated the comment and how quickly he came up with it to come to mind two girls were working on an assignment and were having disagreement about an answer one ended up just looking the other dead in the eye and slowly pushed all her stuff on the floor exactly like a cat would when they are being the buttholes they are but the other girl doesn't break eye contact and says you're stinky b you know that the other one was a girl walking to the front of the class and so was this other larger student well he wasn't going as fast as she would have appreciated so she decided to yell out move it fat butt which had to be dealt with but it was just oddly funny to hear that insult coming from that group of kids i was working in career at what was basically a tutoring center with a group of four-year-old esl students we played a lot of games to help develop crosstalk and general vocabulary one girl would always win and i do mean always no matter what we were playing on this particular day one of the boys had decided he'd had enough he was going to do whatever it took to win and the little guy played his heart out we finish the game go fish and the girl counts up her pairs and comes up with five i think not super important i turn to the boy me so how many do you have he turns his attention to counting him one two three frick four my eyes went wide and i had to stifle laughter because everything about this moment was just perfect the defeated tone decide when he realized what was going to happen and the eventually acceptance of yet another defeat i didn't really punish him just a quick don't say that since there was no one else in the room a fourth grader decided to change their password on a typing program we use and proceeded to forget what she set her password to i logged in and was able to see the password was but hole holy crap i could barely keep a straight face while reading her the riot act and still joke about this one with her mom bad security on the part of the program passwords shouldn't be stored in plain text on the other hand your student chose a good password if a bit inappropriate four random words that are easy to remember they forgot in this case whoops is better than a rate character mix of upper and lower case symbols and numbers middle of chemistry class girl 1 your w girl 2 at least i'm getting some i would have had to punish them but moments after that they started fighting the situation escalated to become the principal's responsibility apparently the so-called w was sleeping with the other girl's sister's boyfriend to the sisters the other girl and the cheating boyfriend were all in that chemistry class same class later that year a kid was sitting in the front row of class and talking in the middle of class i stopped talking and just looked at him he kept talking and kept talking louder about whatever random stuff the whole class was starting at him i just looked at him thinking i should probably give him detention or something but hasn't really decided he was still talking and then he looked me in the eye and declared your freaking b his whole face fell he knew he had just gone too far just just go to the office i tiredly muttered way back when i saw this kid furiously copying someone's homework as i was checking it around the room i kept watching bless him he was copying as fast his little plump hand would allow i walked by him giving him a disapproving look he looked up and said what it's done i didn't say anything i just kept walking to the front of my room by that time said child had slowly raised a book in front of his face me i am so glad most of us have our work completed kid raises book higher me yes i am really impressed at some of you kid okay okay throwing down book i am a little fat kid who tells lies i didn't do my homework me you don't say i tried so hard not to laugh but the whole class and i fell to pieces i ended up not taking points away because he made me laugh so hard with his honesty lol what grade level was this that kid would have won me over right then and there that's just gold my teacher didn't punish me but he should have been laughed pretty hard when i was a senior in high school i went to the bathroom to pee after doing my thing i turned around and saw the biggest freaking cockroach i've ever seen i didn't know they got that big i screamed so loud and tried to run around the don roach when i got out of the bathroom i almost ran into my very conservative very formal theater teacher guy was a mormon btw and he asked me what happened and out of shock i just yelled there's a big butt freaking cockroach in there he was just stunned then started laughing as i hid behind him for context i was a tiny wimp of a girl and for some reason bugs freak me out especially big ones i also sound like a 10 year old and had never cussed around my teacher before so he was probably in all sorts of what the frick did i just watch at that moment my friend is a school counselor and as a funny kid friday my favorite of hers was two kids had been fighting so the teacher split them up when she asked the kid who was sent to her why he kept picking fights with the other kid he looked her in the eye and said rather miserably miss stacy i just want him to die someday so i can be left alone another time a seven-year-old kid cheerfully told her he wished her husband would die so he could marry her because he loved her she laughed but said it seriously weirded her out and she had to scold him i'm not a teacher but over the summer i had an internship at a youth shelter one of the kids asked me if my boyfriend was mexican i was told by my supervisor to not even disclose my relationship status so i don't even know how she figured out i had a boyfriend i replied not that it's any of your business but no he's white why because you look like a tortilla i was confused for a minute but then i realized that i am very pale with freckles like a flower tortilla i had to stifle a giggle while i told her that we don't make negative comments about people's appearances not a teacher but was a peer mediator in fifth grade i was paired up with a girl from my class and we were mediating first grade recess one of the teachers yelled for us to come over and deal with the situation we get over there and it's two girls and one says she called me a bad word the other girl looks at her and says no i didn't i called you a bee in the most nonchalant tone being me i started laughing really hard and didn't really do anything to help the situation my partner leaned down and goes okay sweetie that's a bad word and you can't say that my son had a nanny while we lived in china and we were going to dinner one night she had a bad cough and was a regular smoker she knew not to smoke near my son she is coughing and coughing he's four i say rather cough is really bad maybe stop smoking for a bit or something my son then chimes in nonchalantly you are going to die i am so shocked and tell him it's not okay to tell people that she responds in her wonderful thick mandarin accent okay if i die do you think i will go to heaven or heck my son just go to a doctor i work with children who speak english as an additional language one boy said oh this is crap and i begin to tell him off you can't say words like that they aren't respectful or safe etc and he interrupts me in my language crap means bad or rubbish like if it doesn't work i pause and think for a second because it could be true and before i respond he says my dad says it all the time when his football team are losing manchester untied are so crap i realize that the dad is speaking in his home language but using english swear words and explain to the boy that it isn't slovakian but an english swear word two boys 10 year olds did a lip sync battle at a holiday celebration did a love duet wherein one of them was in dragon the other mind a proposal if either of them are gay they aren't open a kid was giving one of them crap for it kid was was saying stuff like when's the wedding day huh when are you two getting gay married the kid turned and just casually says why would you care you're not freaking invited one of the quickest and funniest comebacks i've ever heard in this from a little kid for clarity i got the first kid in trouble obviously but then the principal who i sent the first kid to found out the second kid swore in his rebuttal and i had to get him in trouble too not a teacher going to be but the best teacher crack up i saw was in my programming class we didn't have a textbook because i'm old and i don't know if they even made an official programming curriculum back then our class was basically stick the spurgs in a corner somewhere and call it an art credit but i digress so my buddy has been drawing something while the teacher lectures and he shows it to the person next to him who stifles a sharp chortle so now that the guy on the other side wants to see so he shows it to him same thing it quickly makes its way around the room and has started a google feedback loop every time a few people manage to stop their classmates set them off again finally our teacher turns around all right what the heck is so funny do i have something on my butt she was cool class goes from giggling to laughing and someone points at the artist she starts to walk over and he stands up proffering his pad of graphing paper like it's a holy text if she takes it and sees two gigantic veenie dongs with big googly eyes passionately intertwined if you have seen the wall it was like the flower scene captioned how the dinosaurs really went extinct written in calligraphy she tried to stifle the laughter but it came on so strongly that she ended up puffing up her cheeks and bugging her eyes out like she was doing a spit take without any liquid the room exploded people were literally raffling she ended class early because we collectively herself included could not recover the teacher in question was leaving for a graduate program so she had no fricks to give no punishment was given i would have asked to keep it and had it framed if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

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Keywords: school, school stories, funniest thing, teachers, teacher stories, high school, students, student punishment in schools, punish, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: Wa1QqIKQtG0

Length: 24min 17sec (1457 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 27 2020