Taylor Swift Urges Fans To Vote | Michelle Obama Isn’t Running | Bezos Is Richer Than Musk

[Applause] thank you very much ladies and gentlemen welcome welcome one and all to The Late Show I am your host Steven colar and ladies and gentlemen you know why the excitement of course it is super Tuesday the biggest single day on the presidential primary calendar so let's dive right into the story that will impact our nation for generations to come a Chilean TV broadcast cut beer ads into Star Wars that's right the internet today is a buzz that just moments ago in 2003 a television broadcast in Chile played this actual footage which 21 years later has now gone viral I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself and he was a good friend which reminds me I have something here for you your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough [Music] now it was subtle but you may have noticed a tasteful product placement for the Chilean beer cesa Cristal I'm sorry I mispronounced that surva Crystal and that's not all they also edited ads into a scene where Luke finds cesa cryistal in the DEA system and into this scene with Emperor it is pointless to resist my son and of course the devastating moment at the end of Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader reveals Luke I am your logger it is completely insane that they only did this with Star Wars cuz the smooth drinking Taste of cesa cryistal fits seamlessly into any classic [Music] movie you had my soul and you have my B and [Music] my but you can all rest assured here at the Late Show we will never stoop to that kind of blatant product placement isn't that right leis that's right Steve [Music] now as I believe I mentioned earlier in the broadcast today is super Tuesday or as they call it in Chile Cinco dearo it's the biggest day of the US Presidential primaries with voters heading to the polls in Alabama California Colorado Oklahoma Utah North Carolina Tennessee Maine Arkansas Massachusetts Minnesota Alaska Texas Vermont Virginia and American MOA and if you need a way to remember all the super Tuesday States just use the helpful pneumonic account Mama tv vas now with a Biden Trump rematch looking inevitable at this point cable news has been struggling to generate super Tuesday excitement this year check out CNN who sent John Burman out to cover all the hot action at a mail ballot Dropbox the polls are open in Castle Rock Colorado in a manner of speaking that's because in essence the polls are always open in Colorado the major means of voting here is by mail or by Dropbox you can see the Dropbox right there behind me voter ballot Dropbox it says which is a sign that it is a Dropbox thank you John that clears up a lot of confusion at least that's what it says in my teleprompter here which is a sign that it clears up a lot of confusion now there's one that could still drive voter turnout today and that's that Taylor Swift told her 282 million Instagram followers to vote in super Tuesday's primaries but refrained from endorsing any specific candidates or political party we haven't seen a celebrity take a stance this boldly neutral since Rob low went to an NFL game with a hat that said NFL he was just rooting for the the contract right anyway spoiler it's Biden Trump it's always been Biden trump it will always be Biden Trump but not if you ask the voters who seem to still be in denial in a recent poll almost 50% of respondents said they believe it is likely Democrats will replace Biden with another candidate before the election no no they won't it's Trump versus Biden stop making up election fanfic who what if Tom Brady comes out of retirement and runs for president he could make grank Secretary of groning and then they kiss this speculation has gotten so out of hand that today former First Lady Michelle Obama's office had to formally announce that she will not be running for president in 2024 which means she's running oh me thinks she do protest I for one hope she picks grank as her running mate but it is going to be Joe Biden not only that Joe is saying it's No More Mr Nice Joe he's unveiling a new strategy go for Trump's jugular you get him Joe yeah go for the jugular just just one one problem with that plan good luck finding a jugular in that chin scrotum now advisers advisor say that Biden is convinced he'll rattle Trump if he taunts him daily which will cause Trump to go Haywire in public yes he'll go crazy as opposed to his current rational public message meik MC from bing bing bing bang Russia oh oh thank you thank you the White House also believes an aggressive strategy will dampen concerns about Biden's age by showing that at 81 he can still throw a Scranton punch that's right come on Jack here comes the old Pennsylvania hay maker Express hold on brace yourself here we go here we go there you go there you go now hold still don't move hold still here it comes here it comes hold on right there come back here come back here buddy but president is not out there fighting alone oh no he is backed by Joe Biden's super fans many of them older most of them the women that's right Taylor's got the swifties Beyonce's got the Beehive but Joe's got the early bird special I will have the scrad but not all Joe boosters are older one 28-year-old told reporters he loves Biden quote and I feel like I'm the only one does anybody care that I exist you're not the only one that feels that way in fact it's Nikki Haley's campaign slogan oh um speaking of Nikki Haley Nikki Haley yesterday she spoke to supporters in Texas and took a Victory lap for being the last woman standing this has been a whirlwind yeah I announced probably just over a year ago we had 14 people in the race I defeated a dozen of the fellas I just have one more fell I got to catch up to that fella my lift driver he's taking me back to South Carolina where they do not like me um oh there's some rich guy news you know rich people yeah there's news according to the Bloomberg billionaires index Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has surpassed Elon Musk musk as the world's richest person congratulations Jeff it's the second list you've topped this year after world's most divorced man as of Monday Monday bezos's net worth was 200 billion while musk's was 198 billion and luxury brand CEO Bernard arno's net worth was 197 billion 197 billion okay pory embarrassing much you know what don't even bother showing up to this year's Eyes Wide Shut party nobody wants to spank you in the Gazebo Bezos I just said gazabo and then Bezos that sounds good Bezos gazebos I bet he's got a Gazo if I was Bezos I'd have a Gazo Bezos is not afraid to show off his billions he's got two mansions and a private island known as billionaire bunker ER and a $500 million super yacht which features a helicopter landing pad a swimming pool and a mermaid resembling his fiance Lauren Sanchez at the bow sounds a little bit over the top but that's just how men Express their love that's why on the hood of my car I have an eie bobblehead there's um sure eie okay oh uh there's some bad news for college kids is looking to party because after heightened levels of crime during spring break Miami Beach has announced that they are breaking up with Spring Breakers oh that's terrible and it explains Pitbull's latest track I'm sad parenthesis Clap That Booty featuring Mark Anthony doesn't matter what emotion you have yeah Clap That Booty hey well City residents have had enough of the destructive behavior from visiting college kids with one business owner speaking out out on Ocean Drive Mango's nightclub owner David wallik has seen it firsthand last year I was in 16 stampedes 16 stampedes well that's what Miami guests for holding their annual running of the Chads Miami is also cracking down on what you're allowed to do on the beach as Miami has prohibited smoking cigarettes narcotics and marijuana large tents and loud music no surprise they've o banned the consumption of alcohol with one notable exception we got a great show for you tonight my guest is Senator Bernie Sanders but when we come back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] science [Music]

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,838,413

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: h46WcligwCo

Length: 12min 7sec (727 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 06 2024