TAU: Are They Really THAT Bad? | Warhammer 40k Lore

[Music] welcome everyone to another episode of the adeptus ridiculous podcast i'm one of your hosts dk diamantes and here at the adeptus ridiculous we give you a crash course on the crazy that is warhammer 40k i'm a bit of a novice bricky is a near lifelong warhammer fan and today's episode i have no idea what's going on it's all been kept a secret for me but before we get into that every episode i feel like we have to give an enormous shout out to all of our patrons over at patreon.com adept is ridiculous because you keep crushing these goddamn goals we annihilated you annihilated the 5 000 tier on patreon so the anime cut will indeed be released but we'll talk about that later if you enjoy today's podcast please please be sure to head on over to patreon.comridiculous and support the podcast and thank you so much for the support now uh i'm told that bricky has a big announcement to make well there are three things we need to discuss one we need to get into the topic of the day which i will still keep from you for a little bit two naturally similar to the identity mechanicus episode where we reacted to the original doge van dyer episode we are going to be doing the same for this episode so if you're curious if we are going to also be doing a reaction to the anime cut of doge van dyer which shai has kept hidden from us as well uh there will be one at the end of this episode so do stay tuned but more importantly we got merch oh [ __ ] it's finally here let's go i know it's finally [ __ ] here i mean it's just the one it's just the one it is it is a plain old white t-shirt with with a a pocket design and a big old back design but it's got that's ridiculous on it it's design i [ __ ] love the design it's like plain black ink it's not faded it's run all by your boy because i have like a literal like like a literal printer where i put shirts on like a direct-to-garment printer and everything the whole thing it's it's simple it's 25 bucks it's sizes from small to triple xl there's even a women's cut as well it's a little bit you know a little more tighter around the shoulders and all that stuff whole thing and you can find it in the description of the video or if you'd like you can also check out technically the technically the link is is orcade.com uh slash collections slash that's ridiculous but uh my merchandise site is called orcade.com but if you there's a content creator section on tab and if you click on that you'll see us in big big letters adept that's ridiculous with an awesome banner that shai has has made let me let me show you this banner that she had done look oh wait there it is look at it oh that's so cool oh it's by ten zero there's a little neck rod in the bottom left oh my god when you told me you had an announcement i was like uh it's just gonna be the it's just gonna be the theme for the day it's gonna be the topic and he'll probably be like oh anime cut right pop up this is so cool i haven't seen the shirt i have no idea what it looks like but i am so ready to buy like 12 of them oh [ __ ] oh yeah i haven't shown you here you go here you go buddy everyday apparel for me every everyday apparel there you go that's so i know right spicy the back is so good i'm so happy with the excavation question marked i love it i love it that's great that's great you're gonna love it you're gonna love it so and you anyway of course uh obviously i am i'm us-based uh so shipping to the us is easy shipping internationally is also something i can easily do there's a good chance i go to your area obviously international shipping can be sometimes a little expensive but overall all i really want is to get it out there get it available i don't know how much stock i have so hopefully go quick on that because i honestly don't know how many how many shirts i have for that one so i cuz honestly like like for obviously i do my own merchandise stuff and you know it goes here and there but i have no idea considering how fast they have blasted these patreon goals if they'll just be like like hounded so you know like that no shaw makes a good point we can't be less reliable than games workshop we'll at least be more reliable than that we won't have any scalpers we're not gonna have all that [ __ ] i i did learn with um oh what was that it was like this giant demon thing i forget what his name is started with a b bellacore bellacore i did learn how unreliable uh the supply is with games workshop and all about like the scalpers and stuff because apparently sometimes it's really hard to get them they sell out quick i we were talking about this on shy's art stream i don't know why they just don't scale it up every time like oh everybody bought this real quick maybe next time we'll do 50 more so anyway that's neither here nor there but yeah i don't get it i don't it doesn't non-port it's totally fine we're going to be more reliable than gw that's all that matters let's go and speaking of the doge van dyer anime cut our topic is the tao oh [ __ ] we're doing the towel today we're doing the towel it's it's the anime cut we have to do the weeb faction that's true if we're talking anime the tao the the macross robotech ripoffs i'm so excited because i know nothing about the tao i know everybody hates the tao and legit i'm kind of hoping that today's episode is like oh hey i don't actually hate the tao they've got cool lore maybe maybe i'm a tao fan listen man i'm gonna give them more respect than luton did so as far as i'm concerned we got this no it's it's okay so i am i will be a i completely admit i am not the biggest fan of the towel either um after reading through their lore i'm still not the biggest fan of the towel um they are a combination they are both worse and better than you expect um they're not that bad they're lower not terrible it's it's perfectly fine it's perfectly serviceable uh but it's also still not quite enough for me to really get into it it could be because they're a very recent faction uh or it could be because they just haven't had the development of like you know you're you go back to night lords or ad mech or something like that right and they definitely have a different vibe going on overall they're not they're not bad they are certainly not bad and there is definitely something to be said for people who like this kind of of uh kind of storytelling and this kind of faction um i myself am not as big into it but there are some things reading through it it's not terrible uh long story short oh no you haven't played halo right oh well i played halo 1 i played halo 2 and i played like i played through like maybe a quarter or like a half of halo 3. okay okay do you know what the covenant are then yes oh my god all right listen dk dk if you're gonna be a boomer like you have to understand halo like that's like that that bridges the gap between the boomer millennial generation well it's just you gotta understand like i i i'm not a boomer when it comes to like looter shooters like the the first looter shooter that i really got into was like borderlands 1. that's like where my shooty bang bangs like start that's like 2009 that's not even that long ago modern warfare 2 came out the same year i i know that's why like when you're like oh halo from back in like xbox og days i'm like uh what um if you if you want me in video games you got to go into like jrpgs and weebly [ __ ] dude oh well good thing we're talking about the towel then any anyway okay okay so [ __ ] there goes my entire example um okay so so the covenant right the covenant aliens aliens lead led by a group of aliens that are the main the main top dogs the prophets right the prophet of truth prophet regret right led by them with a whole bunch of subservient like races all working together as like one big homogenous alien group that's the tao empire that's how empire is the ethereals which we'll talk about that run the entirety of the the tau empire and then you have the tau which are your usual like grayish blue skinned guides without the nose that looks like a little fish um the regular people the towel which imagine like the elites of halo and then they also have many other subservient races there's the croot there's the vespids there's all these kinds of like other races so in a sense they are a majority the usual tau race which is the blue guys the women that you always see but there also are a bunch of under and like subservient subservient like a homogeneous group of other races that are used for various different types of things that is that's the talent how i like to think them as the covenant because they have a very similar vibe um so if we go history wise the tao empire 6 000 years ago uh 35th millennia so about you know a couple thousand years after the horus heresy and everything there was an ad mech explorer fleet it was checking out different areas of the galaxy right and they saw the tao and they saw the tau whole world of tau you know this is obvious um and at the time they were like a primitive people they barely even figured out fire like they were super super stone age right and so they kind of just were like whatever not important to us you know who gives a [ __ ] right and they left now i don't remember if this is still canon this may have been been removed uh but originally i remember that they there was they were going to keep an eye on them but that was about it and there was a gigantic warp storm that cut off that whole area of space for like six thousand years and when it finally was that the slingish thing that caused the warp storm or is this a completely unrelated thing unrelated specifically in the tau area um and then after six thousand years the warp storms decided and then they looked back and it was like it was like looking behind you and then looking for and looking behind you again and then there's like four guys behind you with like guns like they became this like super advanced civilization they they blinked and they're like oh my god they're space faring how did that happen so quickly like so the main thing is that far back in the tao history right back when they were primitive warring culture they were very much a warring culture tribes the usual kind of thing and there was this specific thing called the battle for the fortress city of phalton fiotan they always have like names like this like field thomas asea and balton and et cetera now this is when the quote-unquote ethereals which i posted a picture of as the second image were first ever seen now for a while there was the people in this fortress city and then there were the tao planes warriors and they tried to negotiate a little bit but the towel warriors were like nah we're gonna we're gonna destroy your whole city [ __ ] you so for five years the siege took place which is hilarious because five years is like nothing in four hammered time but for five years five years this was a big siege and it wasn't until starvation and disease started to really take its toll on the people in the city when two very mysterious tau appeared one of them went from the went from the area of the the actual city and just kind of walked their way into the camp of the invading tower and like having this like authority that no one really felt like they could resist they were they were worried but like they were just kind of let him kind of let him through and the planes warriors also had a person just kind of walk up to the gates of the city and just enter and after some time the gates of the of the city opened and both groups started to persuade and parlay with each other and eventually those two people were known as the ethereals and they spoke of peace the importance of understanding of something they call the greater good which you're going to hear a [ __ ] load of okay okay the greater good is kind of their like mentality their their state religion like their creed it's a simple principle that all sentient beings should strive to ensure the greater good for the greatest number of beings in the galaxy we all come together we all work together for the greater good of everybody huh you know in in a warhammer 40k universe this is very unheard of uh very few people are just like yo peace for everybody let's try and get everybody under the same banner we'll happy happy joy joy and good feelings be well john spartan um [Laughter] that usually is just like hey let's all come together and [ __ ] torture the rest of the galaxy for our benefit and just go on a mass genocide raid um so this is very v where did these ethereals come from exactly would they just show up or so it's not quite understood that these are the first times the ethereals were ever like like documented as ever being a thing now they look like tao ethereals look just like tao but they've got this little like diamondy thing in their forehead and it's a little bit hard to describe um we'll talk a little bit more about it we'll talk about the casts uh but they have this little like diamond d thing in the in their forehead and originally and and this is this is the thing like originally that piece like happy go up well let me let me finish the tau uh history real quick and then we'll okay um anyway that's how with everyone talking about this idea of the greater good peace and harmony a truce was reached between the warring nations and eventually ethereal started popping up across the entire planet with the same idea of harmony and the entire planet united and the entire planet ceased to have any war for like ever and this is why they developed [ __ ] massively science the entire planet was united science military everything all developed simultaneously and extremely rapidly and then they expanded extremely rapidly and then they got space faring extremely rapidly and they would go to other planets and other civilizations and be like hey they either colonized them conquered them or persuaded them to join into the greater good to be a part of the greater good and so these people like the croots and the vespids and all these were other races that said hey we want to believe in the betterment of all will you join us in that quest and they were like [ __ ] yeah oh that's that's actually kind of interesting like from the perspective of like how did they advance so fast it's like well because they stopped concerning themselves with like civil war and like the whole planet is united and if everybody's striving to just better like if planet earth stopped warring and we all just came together under one umbrella we could probably advance pretty quickly too yeah so yeah i i i would hope instead of war you know we're trying to just advance um so there's not just like two or three ethereals there's a lot of ethereals because you said ethereals were popping up everywhere it's not like there's just three ethereals and they're just sort of like the uh kings or whatever yes that's basically the thing is there's actually quite a few there there's not as many as the tao guys themselves of course they're like leaders and and the thing and this is something that i've kind of uh i've glossed over a little bit uh but the the problem is shy slides yeah give it a try humans instead of scalping 40k managers try finding a job better mankind we're getting into tng territory right yeah well that's actually the interesting thing because tng is like yeah cause like tng is not it's not deep space nine it's not this current generation of trash star trek like that is everyone is happy everyone like there's no poverty there's no famine there's nothing right because because it's a perfect world where the conflict comes from either interpersonal conflicts or like prime directive yeah you know like figuring out like here's a moral yeah moral ethical dilemma um the tao are kind of in a similar situation where their rapid expansion into the galaxy is entirely for in the hope of bettering everyone else they have many at times gone to human planets and been like yo join the greater good and some of them have really humans have joined uh the tao banner some people have they're called uh guavesa and and they yeah uh g-u-e apostrophe v-e-s-a guava um everything in this [ __ ] [ __ ] army has an apostrophe did you know tao has an apostrophe it's t apostrophe a u oh i thought it was t a apostrophe u i thought that was tau okay i knew there was an apostrophe in there somewhere i i mean like it's interesting because sometimes the people the humans that went with it are either like defectors who really hated what the imperial had to do uh or sometimes and just they're fully incorporated in their own in their own manner the thing is though at the end of the day obviously this is like like i don't think you could be more heretical than that yeah but probably not that in their own right is like holy [ __ ] uh but at the time there's a lot of just like far fringe imperial worlds that they don't want to have to deal with and they're like hey you are literally welcome with us you don't need to go fight chaos and [ __ ] like you you don't need to do the imperial tie like you are welcome and they're like yeah all right now unfortunately this got a little too happy for people i was gonna say like this seems way too happy for 40k and like so far to me the taos seemed like the taos seem like the good guys like they don't want war they want peace they want happiness for everyone so there's a couple things that steered away from this so this is the problem with the tao it's that the tao kind of have this is it's game's workshop's fault um there is a bit of like knee-jerk reaction to some of the taos stuff when the tao came out they wanted they wanted the good guys gw wanted the good guys and because they wanted the good guys they made a do-nothing wrong faction like the tao empire and that did not say well people because we were like how dare they don't commit genocide that's like the point [ __ ] you and so yeah i wanted to kill things and and large swathes of them of said things so they kind of i don't know if i say the word retcon but they it's the idea that they kind of learned more about the nomenclature and the assumption is that the ethereals themselves that have a little diamond in their forehead right they're either very mildly psychic or they give off these like pheromones or these like kind of like i don't know pheromones like a scent i don't really know exactly how to describe it but sure some something along those lines right they give off these kinds of pheromones and because of that it sways the minds of those around them so the concept is that the ethereals aren't just doing it because they want to be the goody good two shoes there's a possibility that they're actually in a sense kind of brainwashing lesser civilizations and brainwashing their own into following them because these are the leaders the ethereals are indeed the number one like highest ranked people they are the governors they are the leaders they are political uh and religious leaders so it's kind of got this like like the prophets in halo you know you fire the ring and the great journey and and in reality there are manipulative pieces of [ __ ] yep and they're gonna cause the end of the [ __ ] galaxy or the end of the universe um oh man i actually kind of liked it better when they were just the good guys um i thought it was like i i think it's kind of interesting in like a warhammer 40k universe that there's just this faction that's like hey we just want to we just want to make everything better for everyone i don't like the idea that they're like brainwashing people with their psychic pheromones i liked it better when they were just let's make peace everybody yeah it's one of those things where i feel like they gw had players who wanted to talk tao and they couldn't find any good [ __ ] talking options besides weeb and so they they had to find like a you you you communist my brain washing [ __ ] oh no so it's it's weird because like personally i prefer i prefer the idea of of that but i like it maybe less on the pheromone side i like the idea of these people are just abusive political leaders and they they just they found a way to take over the entire society and make it belong only to the ethereals um that being said they are still significantly better than every other race in warhammer they still do accept younger races they still do attempt to try to like like they literally have moments or times where they're fighting the humans and they're like you can still believe in your emperor that's fine we don't care like believe what you want to believe you can still join the greater good oh really so if you were in the imperium and you're like peace sounds great but listen like i'm an emperor worshiping humi they're okay they don't really give a [ __ ] what you believe in as long as you're like yeah i'm tao yeah like so long as you as you work well as long as you dedicate yourself to the tao empire and to the concept of the greater good you can you can worship what you want to worship you can believe what you want to believe sounds like a good deal like it kind of does doesn't it yeah it sounds like a really like in 40k why wouldn't you want to be part of the tao well because you don't want to be brainwashed well yeah when i guess when when you bring in the idea that they're using pheromones and brainwashing but if that wasn't the case it's like why wouldn't everybody just join the tao in the 40k universe the tao do have this um well i mean it's very very obvious the tao uh declare a large amount of their in like their um what would be called like uh their basis or like their ideas from from eastern culture i mean beside besides just the gigantic [ __ ] weeaboo mex um it's it's quite obvious they they do have a very a very eastern style to them sometimes a little bit too much um i don't know exactly the term for it but it's it's like uh i i forget the exact term it's not like culture appropriation it's not that not that crap but it's like uh um no not not racist shy it it definitely it definitely does this thing where i feel like they're they're using it improperly um and i mean i'm not i'm i'm not like an eastern i'm not like asian or anything like that so i guess i can't really talk too much about it but i would have liked if they went more into like the feudal like if they're going like more feudal japan like like give them give them a whole bunch of like internal conflict with like uh major families or seps that are constantly at each other's throats and like it's always like a fight for the political power and you know they have this like sense of honor and stuff sure but it's not like the similar sense of honor that other people have and it's definitely it's definitely a weird thing where it's like i don't know if you're going to go the eastern route maybe like don't half-ass it that makes any sense yeah you go feudal japan though you go you go bloody that was yeah that was not a happy fun time if you were like a warlord in japan you were like i don't know how they slept ever um without getting their throats split yeah exactly with the amount of people that would try and kill you and and take your seat like it and it wasn't even like your enemies it's like your [ __ ] brother would do it to you your son would try that [ __ ] and it's like yeah yeah it was i don't know it's certainly a dk tell your listeners that you're half japanese until unless you're cancelled am for your kids japanese uh i i have i oh every everybody knows like uh uh surely everybody knows about oda nobunaga right oh i'm i'm hoping they do it's a [ __ ] interesting time you know japan is badass yeah there's a netflix special on that [ __ ] it's like a docu-series where they literally go over like um this is off topic but yeah they go from like oda nobunaga up until like [ __ ] uh modern times it's it's an interesting bloody time indeed it's definitely like i've always loved feudal japan stuff that's the thing is like i i hate anime and all like the current japanese culture a ton another like media but like the culture itself i think is super [ __ ] interesting old old few like i loved sakura i loved the game and it's like when i played that i was like oh this is exactly what i was hoping for and then like hey you're gonna play code vane like nope that's the other side i don't like oh yeah yes shy i loved ghost of tsushima i thought it was great ghost of tsushima did you play it on kurosawa mode though i did not well a little bit but i couldn't do the whole game with it it's too beautiful to play in all black and white it is it's it's [ __ ] gorgeous i i love i love that kind of stuff which is why i'm a little bit sad that people seem to relegate very often to the tao giant mech suits and it seems like the i wish the characters had a little bit more of that like i don't know that feel japan vibe but at the same time i guess i i get why because the tao don't do melee they do guns that's one of the few things i know about the tau is uh i don't know if it was you luton or somebody else completely that i heard it from where it's like if you see the tao they're probably not winning because they oh yes everything from i told you that you oh it was you okay cool cool yes yes if you if the tower visible they're losing because they have insane range and like just laughably accurate stuff from super far away and so if you can see the tao they're having a bad time um but but like for example here's a couple images i wanted to show you um well like this kind of goes more into the eastern vibe which like i kind of don't like obviously the guy on the bottom it looks like he's in like a spring roll and he has like a like a jar of sake i i think that might be that might be like fan art but it's very it's it's like i don't mind that stuff i think it's decent but then you get a little bit too hard into the into the the mechs and stuff and i was gonna say like the as far as like just the armor on these guys is concerned it looks really cool it's not bad no i i actually think the infantry stuff that tao have look a lot cooler and are more interesting than the battle suit stuff the problem is that in the game battle suits tend to be the only way to play them um yeah they have like the samurai shoulder too they're really big uh yeah yeah samurai shoulder like that's cool i do like that stuff it's just but then like millions of battle suits yeah it reminds me of um did you ever play red alert like like comment like comment and conquer red alert nope never god damn right the the third the third red alert game added the the the empire the rising sun and they have a very similar vibe they have like giant odi mechs and [ __ ] and with like eye lasers and crap oh stuff yeah it's pretty it's pretty neat though the only sad or humorous part is that every single [ __ ] time you see tau artwork anywhere they're always losing oh poor tao towel i guess they kind of have to be because you know if if you're that close to a towel when you see it chances are they're getting [ __ ] it's just really getting screwed there jesus it's just kind of sad it's like so often the only thing that you can see is them just getting [ __ ] annihilated and it's just like oh no there they go again mama goes that man um so if you're a tao fan like you you it's it's it's tough it sounds like it's kind of tough to be a towel fan because every time you see official artwork your guy's getting [ __ ] yeah it's it's one of those weird things where like you already kind of i do feel a little bit bad for top players because we haven't finished talking about the [ __ ] army yet let me let me keep talking about the army real quick we haven't even we haven't even finished about like the actual like organization and stuff um cause we're getting too off topic with like the meta of tao and not talking about the tao um anyway the the society itself is um divided into things called casts and each cast is based in like an elemental thing so you have the fire cast which is the military ground forces the earth cast our engineers laborers scientists the water cast our diplomats administrators bureaucrats the air casts are pilots and officers of the navy and then there's the ethereal cast uh which is the political reverend we we talked about the the theories already um so when they're split into these different kinds of casts you know you can it's kind of cool because you can kind of pay them that way because you have like the you have the navy the navy the navy the diplomats the engineers and under that you have the different kinds of uh of sub-factions like the crew for instance the crudes are a tribal uh group they're known as kin they're tribes known as kindreds and they also have like a shaper of they look like little like weird looking chicken things kind of they're a little bit tougher though um they live in like warm climates uh they construct like giant houses of trees little tree houses and stuff um through like dead wood um they they are also one of things that they consume a lot they're like kind of carnivorous i think they eat a lot of flak they're like wookies yeah yeah they're like wookies basically they look pretty cool actually they're not bad they're generally used as like shock troops um because they're tougher and they're a little bit more melee oriented hence the little uh stubby bit at the end of the gun yeah yeah um they are they're also a little weird for some reason people really like to talk about the tao and sex probably because of that eastern vibe um because i keep drawing them all anime-like apparently apparently shai says they have sex by rubbing shoulders and quote unquote i am not joking oh the crew the crew that is the crew so you know if you you if you were to give a crew like a shoulder massage oh yeah you're jerking them off that's how it goes thanks for clearing that up oh god on the shoulder you know it's like hey good job they're like shy remind me if the is this is it actually legitimately canon that how women prefer human men is that is that can i remember hearing that oh i don't know it's a meme thank christ okay good i thought they said that in a book or something and i thought that's why people said that and i got really scared so how exactly would a croot in a human male no no no no no no no that was the the meme the meme was that tau women tau women not christians oh because of course because eastern because anime because it has to be lewd because tao probably have the most porn drawn of them of any cl of any character there goes shy posting weird [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't even get that why is that funny because it's a [ __ ] anime girl um i i think in that anime she tries very very very very hard uh to show her affection to that dude and that dude's just not having it oh good what a [ __ ] chad all right um [Laughter] what else do we got here uh i have vespids um insectoid race on a gas giant which is pretty cool um they have vespa warriors which are known as sting wings and they're kind of like flying uh they're like flying insect troops they run like the drones from halo going back to the covenant um they have like cool little neutron blasters they fly in there they buzz around they shoot [ __ ] oh they look pretty they they they are if they weren't so terrible in the tabletop they would be oh no but we don't need to worry about them luckily for us nope nope yeah don't worry about that fitting name though vespids insects that makes sense yeah vespers is a good one they have a lot of other species as well i already mentioned the humans the guava there's the nicosar which is a psychic earth sign race uh the demiur which is a humanoid mining species the turrellians which are like dog mercenaries that are dog-like aliens that work as mercenaries uh there's like frog creatures um there's uh what's the morellian auxiliaries that employ death sworn to the tao uh the race greater good like there's so much of this other like like oh my the nagi are a race of highly intelligent worms the mind control abilities like it's actually pretty [ __ ] cool um like this kind of gives me mass effect vibes a whole culture with like all these different kinds of [ __ ] races and stuff and almost all of these are not seen at a tabletop or talked about it's mainly just crude investments fruit vespas tau ethereals that's it it's kind of it's a little bit of like lacking flavor yeah that's such a shame because the whole point of the tao is like they have so many different like races under their banner because they're like we want peace everybody joined the tao hooray and it's like all i really knew about the tower like the the blue dudes and the the mechs where it's like man they should really add a lot more variety to like what tau minis there are and add like a bunch of like you know vespids and worms and uh you know the you said the demiurg which is what the squats became yeah yeah it makes it makes sense no it's in the tower the main antagonist in x-com no no um but honestly there are a lot of this kind of like extra stuff that could add into it that really gives a little bit more flavor and fluff to it i i mentioned the ethereals obviously which is you know that's like the that's where they try to get the grim dark stuff um though i should mention because there's lots of different kinds of tau seps and a sept is a solar system that the tao area resides in and that's kind of the similar thing to the different kinds of like regiments or or sisters orders and stuff or necron dynasties the accept is like when you play the game you can like align yourself with a sept like like it sounds like a forge world um and so there's the tau sept which is the the solar system the tower there's like cesaia or like bark on and like all these different kinds of seps one of them though that i do want to talk about is the farsight enclaves um because i have to mention the far side enclaves the the far side command okay so if you had to choose legitimately who are the good guys in 40k this is probably your closest bet um okay farsight commander farsight is kind of a chad he uses a gigantic sword in battle with his um with his suit which is unlike tau um he actually has melee combat he runs in there and beats the [ __ ] out of stuff basically the far side enclaves are a bunch of really heavily fortified tal worlds that are completely independent and broke off from the tao empire oh they saw what was going on with the tao empire they kind of i think they kind of got wind of the whole ethereal thing and they were like this ain't [ __ ] right they're saying okay like you're doing this whole hey it's for the greater good when in reality it's either for the greater good or be demolished like join the greater good or enjoy being a smoking crater right or so anchor you and destroy everything you yeah yeah so you don't really have a choice in the matter it's kind of similar to the emperor's great crusade where he's like be part of the imperium it's like no be part of my boot heel [Laughter] fair enough cheyenne makes a statement where she's i'm glad she's helping me with this because for some reason the wiki is really scarce on details um but they said the um she thinks their epithelial got killed off and they were like wait a minute my brain works again oh really so that's a thought at least okay i was gonna say so when g does so when gw was like oh yeah we'll we'll make this uh pheromone brainwashing we'll also make a sec that got away from their ethereals or their ethereals got killed to show that yeah it's brainwashing and look we're over here and we're different and my brain works and the ethereals are being douchebags yeah like they still obviously can understand the concept of harmony between races and all but they're they're broken off because they're like this is forced this is forced harmony this is this is unacceptable and what's nice about the about them is that like it also kind of shows the tau do have that vibe because they tried to write commander farsight who was basically a war hero as like a cowardly deserter or just trying like they were trying to rewrite him as in history yeah uh though a lot of people do have support for farsight because they're starting to realize this kind of issue and so he is leading this whole separate sub faction of the enclaves which actually are dressed in like bright um or like a deep crimson red armor which makes them look actually pretty [ __ ] cool um i really really like the way the far side on class look they're probably the best color scheme of all of the uh of all the tao um i i think shai posted a picture they do look really really neat oh they do yeah well go ahead dude oh and and so so the farsight are kind of like the ideal tau like if the brainwashing didn't exist i assume because they want it to be like join us peace but it's your choice we're not gonna like brainwash you because we got brainwashed we don't like it and we don't want to do that to anybody or they're just kind of off in their own little space just like brooding over stuff yeah they're off they're off trying to do their own thing they're trying to expand they're trying to still serve their own purpose but they're like okay we're not interested in being a part of this this crazed organization these people because they are not well like good they're they're bad they're they're taking control of our minds this isn't our actual idea right um they actually do have some pretty cool [ __ ] people um i they have a particular thing called the eight which is actually one of my favorite things in in the tao codex they suck they're terrible but i really really like it basically the eight and you can run it but it's the main governing body of the farsight enclaves and it's eight separate battle suits for eight separate name characters like a commando squad and they're all in their own different kinds of battle suits and they all work together like there's commander farsight commander brave storm honors chassevier o vesa commander bright sword commander chavastus uh uh oblatai arakan and torch star and they're and uh they're a whole bunch of like their own battle suited up separate named characters with their own cool ideas and it's it's actually it's actually really [ __ ] cool like yeah it's basically like seven samurai but obviously eight um but like torch star for instance uh is the youngest of the group and she has an affinity with like fire and loves to like have she's like double flame throwers and she's supposed to have like fire tattoos all across her body and [ __ ] and and like commander brave storm is uh has a special a really special um battle suit with it has this one punching weapon called the honor gauntlet but it's it's like it's like strength a million and like a damage a million but it's like one punch and you get you get one chance i mean pretty great anime you so you're what you're telling me is he's one punch man that's what you're [ __ ] good what you're going for shut up is that a picture of their mechs that shy just posted is that what they actually look like those those are the eights they're pretty cool the eight are actually pretty cool i'm becoming a fan of these guys like this this sounds like that anime stuff that i'm like oh it's the anime stuff that i don't hate yeah it the the far side enclaves are the the tau army for people who don't like tao honestly they're like if you're kind of like uh tao talor those kind of things like no i want to play as the guys who broke off i want to place the defectors i want to play as the underdogs i want to play as the as the actual good guys you probably would take far side enclaves yeah seeing all this stuff i'm like yo maybe i should look into some farsight minis though they they would not be bad painting up the eight is actually pretty cool um and also there's there's of course a a very a very like back and forth thing with another named character in the town known as commander shadowsum shy i'm gonna ask you to please be civil here oh that's true and whenever you post you post it you you'd be you'd be smart with this one be safe about it chad we don't want to get ultra cancelled here all right no no d monetizations yes let's not let's not do that um shadow sun is like a major player in the normal tao she was uh she's a manager of the tau fire casts like some of their military campaigns and stuff she's got like tons of of nicknames she's spearheaded the greater good true disciple of commander piertai the heroine of the third sphere expansion she has all these [ __ ] names but she's like a really really powerful and intelligent commander and if i'm not mistaken she [ __ ] hates commander farsights the two of them like would gladly just just going through his throats at any possible time um she's actually pretty chad not gonna lie she's pretty cool she's got a lot of really awesome um like abilities and she's like overall she's actually pretty neato uh but she's also like a total [ __ ] so there's also that part i was gonna say shy posted a picture of her and she looks really cool she does she actually got a new uh a new midi recently oh yeah um let me see if i can find it i'm sure shy can get it but yeah um they uh she her old miniature looked like really bad uh but they got a new one and it actually looks pretty cool it actually looks really really cool um yeah i like i like a lot of the uh i like a lot of the more character-based stuff like the well far side's a pretty old model he needs to be changed but um but she actually has quite quite an impressive design to her and uh and she's this she's pretty cool the only problem is that naturally uh by being commander shadow son you and being a a female towel named character yeah there's a reason i told shai to be civil yeah i'm i'm i'm sure there's a lot of rule 34 stuff on her isn't there yes there is but like the official art for her she's [ __ ] metal oh [ __ ] [ __ ] like she's [ __ ] cool man like no no meme that mini is really dope so i posted a picture that looks [ __ ] sick it's really dope there are certainly fine parts of the towel we give them a lot of [ __ ] because they they go too hard into the into the weeds stuff they go a little too hard into that and they definitely don't they definitely don't fit in terms of like like uh visual design you know you have like the every every vehicle looks like a church style of the imperium or like the body horror mechanicus and then you have like gundams it definitely does not really fit it's weird yeah um i mean the closest they are like is craft world eldar i guess which oh yeah yeah because they have the uh they have those really lanky sort of uh mech robots right yeah they have the pinball heads and stuff but even then that they're a little bit more like smooth uh because they're they're eldar whereas the towel they definitely do feel like they don't fit in the aesthetic thing but true should be tortoise uh their truth be told um oh yeah they also have a lot of ai um they have a [ __ ] load of drones they have so many drones so the imperium really doesn't like them the imperium probably work with well besides the craft world eldar the imperium probably work with the tao the most um they i mean they kill them more than they work with them but they they do have occasional diplomatic backs and forth with them um like they i think they work with a craft world eldar probably the most because they uh craft for eldar are pretty scary and there's a lot of times they're like we're both trying to get this thing oh my god there's millions here and it's here it's like hey let's yeah let's let's get rid of them together similar thing with with the tau but yeah the drones and the millions of drones they have is also an annoyance in the tabletop because the drones do that thing where they like jump in front of a gunshot or like a rocket and they yeah it's called savior protocols uh it basically made the tao the most unfun army to fight for a good while um because what they would do is they would stick on they have these three mechs called riptides and they're [ __ ] huge and what they would do is take those guys with gigantic like [ __ ] off guns and then surround them in drones and then they were unkillable and were able to kill you to like a massive margin wow um yeah we gotta talk a little about their battle suits though uh because battle suits are kind of a pretty big part of of their lore um the battle suits scale up in various different ways uh cheyenne posted a wonderful picture of them um so you start off with your your tau warrior which is obviously in the bottom left and then you've got the stealth battle suit which is well it's what we expect because this is like it's like full sci-fi [ __ ] like a stealth battle suit will literally have a a a like cloaking field like they will turn invisible it'll look it'll look completely invisible it'll like de-cloak like mass effect style they have a lot of pain in the ass in the in the tabletop something that could just and they're they're just minus one to hit but no one really cares oh oh well that's a shame it's a little fortunate but it's it's smaller it's light they generally operate like lone wolves covert stuff um there's there's tons of battle suits they always start with like xv something um xv8 xv25 xv22 um like there's like the xv25 is a stealth suit used by the earth cast currently being phased out in use for the firecast there's the xv46 vanguard void battle suit to explore space hulks the xv8 crisis battle suit is a personal favorite it's a little smaller um i think it's the yellow one and it's just it's a lot smaller and it's got like uh i think you can actually turn them into like bodyguards kind of they look i think they're more like titans maybe like small titans in like titanfall um there's my the xv88 broadside now the broadsides are for [ __ ] big dick [ __ ] all right the broadsides are cool okay the the the xb88 the xv88 broadside uh carry normally carries a gigantic heavy rail gun uh or they carries more missiles than you can possibly count oh they're they're actually really cool looking they like hulk around this gigantic railgun and they just like blast everything to bits i mean if you're gonna be an anime mech you have to fire just an insane amount of missiles that's that's a pre-wreck oh yeah either you can either set these guys up for one of two different variations either the one that shy posted which is the giant railgun or nothing but missiles and then just never ending missiles and it's pretty it's pretty cool i think the xv 88 is probably my favorite uh they're a little stocky but it's because they have to carry around a gun the size of a semi truck yeah i i like that the missile one is in the color scheme of heavy arms custom he's a he's a gundam that just he just he just shoots missiles and all of his arms are gatling guns that's just all he does he just fires munitions all day long man i miss armored core oh i do too i played armored core for answers a lot i don't i don't think i did that i played oracle like two and three oh i didn't oh those were good um oh there's also another battle suit i really like is known as the uh xv 86 cold star uh the cold star battle suit is one that like commanders tend to carry around or they can tend to use them they're extraordinarily fast uh and they're able to like zip around about i think they have like a they have like a 20-inch movement but like okay so so a guardsman moves six a marine moves six a tank moves twelve a dark eldar skimmer craft move 16. this thing moves like 20. this thing just like [ __ ] jesus flies across the map i really i think if you use the cold star you're you're an absolute big dick guy just like um the xv88 because normally using the cold star is you fly it up right next to your opponents like captain or leader and you just [ __ ] torch them and then you just die because you know you're surrounded but it's just so cool so do they i must do these um uh robots do they uh do they are battle suits i suppose do they cost a lot then because i mean they're they're they're giant [ __ ] mechs they have to i'm sure that you can't just have a towel fleet that just like yeah i have 6 000 mechs and it's only 1200 points uh oh oh you mean on a tabletop uh it depends like xv eights and broadsides and stuff can go between like you know 50 points 100 points depending rip tides are pretty expensive they normally run you like 300 something if you take one um and then you got like the big ones like like the taunar supremacy armor and there's a picture of that guy right there that thing is is just enormous um another thing i don't know how much it costs but it costs a lot it has it has triple barrel pulse ordinance multi drivers and heavy rail cannons it's a bunch of [ __ ] right um oh there is the there is the storm surge which is actually one of their lords of war uh i like the storm surge i think it looks [ __ ] cool it's a little boxy but the storm surge is definitely expensive but it's got a lot of missiles and a giant shoulder gun of doom i could see how that you know it's it's all missiles it looks so [ __ ] derpy like that it looks it looks boxy and silly yes i know it's so dirty i kind of love it i i really like it because it has like 9 million missiles it's kind of cool it does it does i actually like the storm surge it's so um there's like the avara battle suit which is like this giant flamethrower one there's the hazard battle shoots which obviously what they are there's the riptide which we've discussed the riptide is probably the main most iconic one it's gigantic it's got a bunch of guns got a big shield very very powerful um yeah there's a lot of options when it comes to these different kinds of battle suits i really like the ghost keel battle suit personally i think the ghost keel looks really cool they tend to like they tend to fashion it to look a lot like uh titanfall i guess they keep doing titanfall uh kit bashes with the ghost keel um it's kind of like a like a sort of like a big stealth version i like that one right there's a lot of there's some cool suits like i said my problem is that they feel like they're they're too heavy on suits yeah um but even so it's like they don't look they don't look bad some of them i think like when you get too many of them they can end up becoming a bit of a problem but like that's the thing is that if i never seen the riptide in my life i'll be okay because riptides have like destroyed the game well not anymore but they did for a while um but like ghost keels storm surges broadsides they're pretty cool but no one really runs them as much and then as we said did did the um did the riptides get like hella nerfed or something and that's why no just just tell just how suck ass right now um so okay so if we're talking about the tabletop every time with a tabletop tao are if if not the worst the work like the worst faction in the game they are arguably the worst faction in the game next to like maybe gene steeler cultures or something um they're they're [ __ ] terrible the main issue is that they the game swapped from kill everything to take objectives and hold them and tal are terrible in melee they never melee ever and they're they don't have a lot of like forward like they have lots of range which makes it harder for them to do close range objective yeah yeah so it's common it's just me like a meta things they can still kill they just can't kill hard enough and other codexes are making them are making them feel worse and worse the longer it takes for them to get a new one right so poor cow players yeah like i got no issue with with tao or tau players you know i didn't want to like i hate fighting the [ __ ] triple rip they call it triptide uh the triple riptide with a whole bunch of uh drones but you get like a good old a good old towel army right you get yourself some infantry you get some drones you get some uh some like uh transports they're called like devil fish and hammer heads and you get maybe one riptide a couple broadsides you know maybe some crew auxiliary like that's a cool army that's badass but no one really does that they do they do trip tides or stuff like that i'm like ah yeah you know i i think i think i have shifted to not hating the tao have you yeah i think this episode has shifted me to not hating the tao like i i used to hate the towel because i look and i'm like oh my god you're you're trying way too hard to be robotech and macross and now like seeing the wide variety of like other mechs that they have and like the far side and like their lore is pretty cool that like there's a sect of them trying to be good guys there's a sect of them that's like oh we're going to brainwash you even though i kind of prefer if they were just a good it's kind of cool actually i don't hate this they are like i said they are both better and worse than expected they are better than you think but they're still not quite the level of everything else yeah you know they still have a little bit of of growing up to do in my opinion how how new are they exactly like when did the tao like first get into warhammer like because they're the most recent right i think so i mean they're not the most recent codex per se but like the newer ones have been like ad mech codex they already existed but you know i don't actually really know i thought tao came out like fifth edition okay um and it's what eighth edition now or something uh knife ninth gotcha okay here we go tao are a playable race in the second expansion pack dark crusade released october 2006. so it's been 15 years yeah third edition third edition that's one okay um the book was here we go the codex tao is an expansion book book was published for the first time in 2001 actually okay um so they're i mean that's oh my god it's 20 years holy [ __ ] oh let's not talk about it let's not do that no don't go down there oh my god um talk about any other topic apparently in the timeline they've known them for about 300 years the imperium are aware of them for like 300 years besides the the original six thousand years ago would notice yeah even though that's fairly recent they're they're the upstart they're the new kid on the block [Music] and i mean they're they are fine they're not as fleshed but i i i think i might look into some of those farsight i might look into some of the eight minis and be like hey hey you guys you guys are cool you guys are anime as [ __ ] like if your minis look dope like maybe [Music] hey i mean there's nothing wrong with that if you want to grab some of those some of those guys to paint up try out there's there's literally no issue with that yeah they're they're able to up i don't care if they suck yeah exactly and and honestly the only reason they suck is because they don't have the next codex out the moment they get that they'll probably be good again so so honestly like yeah if you want to grab something like that there's really there's no stopping you there's no reason not to i have no issue with people collecting tao i have no issue with people who like tao i'll still give them some [ __ ] because it's fun for me and you get a deal with it but besides that yeah yeah i'm might be a farsight fan all right good i mean i mean that's that's the good tau you know that's the real good guy yeah and you get to have a do with a big sword most people think farsight is cool they just think tao themselves are a little bit like yeah i'm i'm definitely in that uh in that category for sure so with that i don't know if there's anything else i need to talk about i think i've hit most of the points uh to the tao fans i i hope i did okay the um obviously you know i'm not the biggest fan of tao but i did my best to give him a fair a fair go it wasn't like you were just here like oh the tao did this [ __ ] them because i hate them and they're stupid like it was that was a fair episode like you made a farsight fan out of me so true shout shall we shall we get to the real the real episode now let's let's let's get let's get to it let's get to the star attraction the reason this is why you did tau right because it's they're anime their weave yep this is this is the way this this is the way all right let me make it let me make a watch together i was gonna say are we gonna do a three two one hit play or oh god what is this title doge van dyer's feet tsar adventure [Laughter] i hate it i hate it why why does that have to be a feed zard because it's doge van dyer all right here's the link here's the link i um [ __ ] help [ __ ] hell i don't want to do this anymore all right i'm playing it here we go you ready okay i am ready roll that beautiful bean footage [Music] oh no i hate those [Music] it's so high hurts why have you ruined like my favorite part of warhammer it's like my favorite piece of lore this is your fault you know it's our patrons fault oh no you did not are you [ __ ] are you [ __ ] me are you [ __ ] me are you actually [ __ ] me are you actually [ __ ] me i can't breathe that's it i'm going to become a game dev i've got to become a game dev because i'm gonna because the only the only [ __ ] the only [ __ ] thing of people seeing one of the coolest moments in all of 40k the alicia dominica [ __ ] like like a confrontation is now the only thing they can find for that topic is this [ __ ] video i need to make a game or a movie or something so i can purge the search history [Laughter] are you are you okay i'm not uh that was great [Laughter] so bricky what uh yeah what yeah what's up um so what are we doing next time you know i can't technically fire shy [Laughter] it's her it's her baby you can't fire her i i i would like we don't have an h we don't have an hr rep or a union yeah it's true there's you got you know you just have to you have to deal with it i'm going to go i'm going to go play stardew valley something that won't hurt me that was great come on the old super ultra anime millie i mean the only good part is is the [ __ ] the [ __ ] uh the world effect at the end that part caught me off guard that one wasn't that bad i guess that's all i'm giving you if if you're gonna jojo you have to zawad though right you have to and of course it's as he's pushing the wiki feed the wiki yeah that that's that's fine it's fine oh i can't believe you did that i can't believe you's a world [Laughter] yeah good work uh noddle noodle i i never learned how to pronounce your name but that [ __ ] is so cash dude um it genuinely looks like just ripped right out of the pages of jojo so great work and and wow bricky thanks for for helping make this a reality and and turning your most treasured moment in warhammer 40k into a big giant anime feat meme really buy buy our buy our merch buy our merch so i can so i can you know so we can be okay buy our merch [Laughter] you wanna you wanna do an official outro or are you too scarred for that [ __ ] this man you know you know what at six thousand at six thousand patrons will make doge vandy our merch oh there you go there there you go 666k you know i was gonna say there are some places that will do custom order plushies goodbye [Laughter] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Adeptus Ridiculous

Views: 459,750

Keywords: warhammer, wh40k, warhammer 40000, grimdark, tabletop, comedy, games workshop, lore, 40k lore, tau, T'AU, t'au, ta'u, tau lore, warhammer tau, 40k tau, tau empire

Id: GXARN3j30NQ

Length: 68min 47sec (4127 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 21 2021