Taskmaster - Series 4, Episode 6 | Full Episode | 'Spatchcock It'

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I'm glad David's welcome to taskmaster we're deep into the series now and our contestants have really been put through their paces they've stood before us exposed ridiculed there are many weaknesses on display for all to see and why all to take home this simple vac simile of my head let's meet my fans now [Applause] joining me tonight is my humble little stat man Alex [Applause] if it's all on your real name more I do is any name real Greg no I mean yeah it's real is it yeah I don't know I don't know mommy didn't say she just said well left the letter and there there it was let's move on to today's prize category shall we Alex right you are today we've asked them to bring in their best sheep related item of course we have so it's up to you oh no and this is gonna be a series of puppies right B it's up to you yeah yeah I thought you might like it it's up to you Greg Davies to decide who's brought in the best sheep related item okay bar none feel free to lambast some more all the sheep stuff I'm so sorry Wow good to see you what's your best sheep related item that you've brought in it's a little knitted effigy of myself called woollen knoll [Applause] it's really nice there's also a little element of surprise in this mitad know oh yeah it's a very strong opening no it was already strong before I saw the woollen genitalia I brought some raw wool some raw wool some raw now the fun thing no listen last place follows a and we were a little bit bored it was not very rainy so we collected some raw wool and we played this game where you had to make yourself into a 19th century patriarch so we did ittsan stuck it on ourselves we did Charles Dickens and my favorite which all I did was isambard kingdom brunel Pritt down the sides and then what quite a bit of that it is so fun did you do it with your family I'll tell you what that is that is disgusting skanky old wall that's been stuck onto the face of an insane family I mean you're safe you're not lost I brought my favorite sheep so I was in Kenya actually I was on the on the Rift Valley and I bought this familiar hope you have to keep toasty and warm yeah this is I bought this from a Kenyan sheep herder and they put of a big losses living that's what you mean by better it certainly looks like you should be incarcerated I thought long and hard about my favorite sheep related item and I brought you a lamb shank [Applause] some it's on a bed of mash with a bit of gravy and a Jew you know if you is not a clue no it's religion so best she plated item I decided to get you a sheep I spotted a sheep snow drop the Sheep sponsorship ya know where I come from you can scoop them up in a bucket this was that this was a stray sheep she was abandoned by her crew she got into it we can see I mean it's got okay what you said crew I thought you're exaggerating snowdrop is someone with anger management issue so we've got five sheep related items yeah now 100% deathly in last place then mmm don't worry you not last for the first time in the series look how he's smiling he's coming he's coming second-to-last I'm gonna put Noll and Jo joint joint a second joint second and I'm gonna put lolli first because when she picked sheep she picks an angry sheep [Applause] okay so move on yes let's go [Music] relevant does he go name let's do it Stewart I'll sure I'm ready so it's get this camel through the smallest gap you have ten minutes your time starts now so basically you want me to birth Stuart get this camel get this get this I know all the words mean but together finally mercifully no one did decide to I understand attempt to birth is the youngest member of our team what we like about lolly is she doesn't mess around and what I mean by that is she doesn't really give any of the tasks any thought I haven't seen this genuinely but I'm gonna guess that lolly tries to drag that camel through a small gap okay [Music] [Laughter] 4.4 [Music] three point one seven point one okay [Music] you know that's the enthusiasm of youth just get the job done but you know they were a pretty small group they were smaller cups and I imagine thank you three point one centimeters was the smallest gap that's the same as an eye socket imagine an eye sock right good dragging a camel through your eyes to my eyes no no I mean you'd imagine would do something slightly different lolly I would imagine that I suppose that's a gap isn't it this is not air this is just 12 centimeter Carol sent me a gap okay oh and I suppose I could chop the camel up this is I feel bad doing this and wife you if you need to ride this I was booked for the time [Music] here's a sentence that you won't hear that often if only I had sharpest scissors I could have put more of the camel through the gap because bat cub through the gap right all four feet of the camel the head and one of the humps [Music] [Applause] you were very meticulous with your snipping yeah slip the feet off slip one of his humps off his head off did stir to Thurlow it something jeffrey dahmer with how big was the gap that he attempted to force his dismembered camel through well he used to paintbrush and he poked 8 percent of the camel through a four centimeter gap which is exactly the same as the inside of a kitchen roll that is disappointing isn't it catastrophic timing but needs must and add to pay big dollar see you soon master lolly has put a lovely sheep up for adoption unaware their if the others win it they'll either cook it shave it or knit it back to the camel toss camel task yes so we've seen null and lolis attempts lollies in the lead at the moment next up Joe and shoe and Dennis we got blender [Music] sorry Stuart just like that [Music] well that's not worked thus far that's actually a no more handsome nothing more fluid or there [Music] in their brights too I'm gonna give up on the blender the blades come off if I wonder it wasn't working look I've broken the liquid ice I have to find another method now [Music] [Music] okay right I don't raise a cat man yeah right okay [Music] very fast [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I mean no one has sounded more like a serial killer on this show than you sings butter the camel in half just like that and then you said I think more fluid will do it and then you started to get cross you said get a [ __ ] roast I wasn't anticipating that the blender would be as [ __ ] it is I do think that our blender thwarted both of your ambitious certainly thoughts Jules Hugh well Joe went after he or should say so she broke it with the camel and then we didn't mend it in time for Joe [Applause] yeah.he spatchcocked the camel and they go through a go spatchcock to copy that spatchcock it pull it through a door frame here the gap with nine millimeters which to the equivalent of a very small hole if you imagine that Joe could get through a four point six centimeter gap in shells but you fail to get a whole camel through the chopping board handle okay so this is the final attempt Mel get Roy I think we can do it come on come on go let's do it I'd like two minutes twenty rackets in high road this is good shops are there brilliant seen it so there it is blinding in a corner okay it's absolutely tiny [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] well I could ask the question is there a smaller gap than Baby Gap nope they began it's the smallest in the brand from therefore she took the camel through this Morris couple yes and the security cameras will have recorded Mel Gavroche running in with a camel I'm running out together I'm gonna make Mel the winner it goes shoe lolli Joe and then Knoll at the end earlier I understand Alex that as a lovely treat we're going to let the contestants take their camels home I mean these are lollies and Mel's camels here we've got them we could see the ladies they had quite a nice time absolutely fair camels look as happy as as possible to look we had a professional seamstress put these yes I'd if I did it and look like this and our scoreboard looks like this [Applause] certain time what's better it is time for some sport and littering lovely [Music] hi Joe hello nice yeah I thought I'd go located a tiny boots is quite bloody knackering when you see the size of a pitch isn't it to run the Waldo all along score the best goal with this plastic bag you may not hand bag the bag yeah it's like a handball but with a bag most skilful fastest and fewest kicks wins no boots for me no trainers does your time start now I'm just checking on the trainer front I've got high heels on we go with it your time starts now [Applause] you're a big football fan melts to play or to watch what both I can just see that you know the lingo imagine having to run all along with some of the lads were running all along along taken certain the rules yeah you couldn't handbag the bag okay Oleg yeah fastest fewest kicks and a bonus point for the most skillful girl lovely okay should we start with lolly and Knoll so contest the bag with your pee-can yeah yeah the plastic bag at the ball [Music] [Music] Oh [Music] the nightmare [Music] this bag pocket outlets [Music] Oh [Applause] [Music] seems genuine skill where I'm alright ever oh this would be one I can do yeah I found myself in gold cowboy boots yeah trying to thread the shopping bag over and I thought football from the nineteen thirties lolly so lowly score to go after five minutes and four seconds and she only kicked it eight times old Clippy copy pointy boots seven minutes and 12 seconds and kicked it 42 times ft time penalty for that right just to say we have a break now so stop the action see you in part 3 [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Master Alex what's going on well all our five comics have been trying to score a goal with a plastic bag the next scheduled match is Mel and Joe United because we have United the clips and I've said United like in Cheshire um United so I've been a little little joke sorry I totally zoned out yep [Music] this isn't it I was just trying to roll it into my trouser I'm just going to stick with this hang on hang on hang on oh look look I've got a tag on my shoes right I've got it I've got it I've got it I'm sure I'm not actually touching the bag I'm just touching their tee I'm not kicking I'm dragging [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] stay put right Donna Wow you're welcome great starts to seize him [Applause] qianyuan impressive for me I wish I could give extra points for the celebration [Music] there was a hint of a handbag there was a tea it was a golf team yeah listen my friend the fact that you decided to use a golf tee is enough for me I know there was no intent there and I'm going to let you off that little touch there's good news and bad news for Jeb he was incredibly quick one minute 54 he did kick it 77 times a 380 five-second penalty for that I mean the whole country is looking for - Thank You Dennis score ago with a plastic bag there is a bonus point for the most stylish goal let's go [Applause] you score the best goal with this plastic bag okay you ready [Music] [Applause] yes I can wait a second [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] we only gave you that crags we felt sorry for you thought you needed a bit of encouragement but in fact you are a glorious bad bowler like that in my life it was incredible someone got so excited they shouted out a Woolgar which is the catchphrase from a 90s TV show I'm gonna refer back to gladiators god I do well three seconds quicker than Joe and zero kicks zero drag drag spin spin spin [Applause] a graph to see how the rest have done so the lowest bar on graph will be the winner so that's how long they took and then we have to add the five second penalty for every kick so in last place it was null then Joe Lally Mel and the winner of course mr. Hugh Dennis [Applause] biggis clarifying he would like to know if he gets the bonus point for the most stylish goal and just wanted to double-check that I got mine for running around there's only one bonus point to be given out and I will be giving it to the person who blew his own trumpet the most and that was without question you [Applause] isn't now lovely no no get that's right lovely just so positive but I find that she's positive whatever we yeah well you asked me to do a visual collage in your positivity come have a look at that here we go excellent excellent marvellous amazing incredible epic oh oh good Oh brilliant brilliant brilliant brilliant brilliant room great amazing amazing yes yes yes yes boom absolutely marvelous [Applause] what taskmasters Bay because we brought these people here to challenge them none of them to have a lovely old time no so you asked me to push her to her limit so we did set one little extra task at while we're at the home of football Chesham United so just just for now let's see if you can stay nice one that had to do this hide this ball from Alex how about am I gonna hide that and we're not damage the ball you have five minutes your time starts now that is absolutely ludicrous you may not heard it but she also used the word heck oh my god and of course that smells equivalent of maker [Applause] there's more swearing to come here we go this is Mel's attends no [Music] Oh bollocks surrender no you're chill off your head that annoys me [Music] really the crusher she was annoyed there's a bit of background to that as well we also got Mel as another task to inflate the ball in the house this took 45 minutes we've got her to score a gold in the garden with the ball which meant she had to deflate it to get out the door that too [Applause] Karkat roach is officially nice let us please Alex with everyone okay Greg here we go hello never got to do an autopsy hello hi Oh what was you for a second no one here is it how fast you can get to sleep cuz I'm really good at that like come on work out what's in the sleeping bag you may not look in the sleeping bag you may not take items out of the sleeping bag you have five minutes your time starts now so I can feel it [Applause] I remember coming up with the idea for this one mm-hmm somebody went camping we well you took me camping which I appreciated then you kept getting me to feel what was in your sleeping bag what was it yeah I felt nice I didn't they felt lovely let's move on okay start with Nolan lolly no I hear there's lots of things is it more than one thing you've got to tell me that not all right really that's the only way a book you know a to tell you which book it is and I'll be right back Oh actually fictionally anything skipping rope skipping rope weird like it's like a big chunk oh yeah a big chunk the four legs this is Kim they taught us it feels like a frisbee with a lemon stuck to it crispy bin lid a bin lid [Music] little frisbee lid thanks always thank you so much that was my least favorite of all the tasks really no I like [Applause] straight in have a feel see what you can find yeah nice to see the forensic young mind I've written down a quote from you this feels like a big chunk with four legs on it no smelt the bag for a bit yes what's that all about how can you how can you identify books by their smell mind your own [ __ ] business either of them put their hands in the sleeping bags that's so that's what I want to I just said you couldn't look in it yeah you feel a skipping-rope a bin lid some sort of helmet and either a turtle or tortoise lovely you want to see what was in the bag yes please well luckily we've got Hugh next and he helped to send a look in it may not looking it you may not take items at all right now is there a difference between taking items out and items coming out well it's up to you well I won't be taking them out physically taking them out but I will get them out just by lifting the sleeping bag up and pouring them out I'm just quoting you there I will get them out I won't take them out but they will come out [Music] but I haven't taken those out they've merely come out I just came out because I found the sleeping bag upside down there is a policeman's helmet that's a tortoise turtle turtle told it's not real I got we don't buy tortoise once it's very unpleasant I would say that's penile attached to a frisbee it's a skipping-rope with carrots as handles the book is John Griffin's time to kill have I broken any rules but I'm not looked in it I haven't taken any ice out of it definitely haven't taken any item that was sleeping bag okay no I haven't physically take thank you thank you what sauce oh I didn't take your virginity that's putting something in rather I think you know your bank to rights I think no I think take if you you have to physically take something are you gonna go with that are you responsible for those objects coming out of this I didn't take them out I was there in it it looked like you took them out listen I'm telling you now you [ __ ] what you did do he confirmed that these two got the tortoise and the book right they got two out I thought skip him ray not made of carrots and as always that sound signifies the end of part 3 [Applause] like the comedians had to work out what's in your sleeping bag okay shoot tipped it out took the stuff out and we saw that they're trying to identify a carrot skipping-rope a crime novel a Terrapin a policeman's helmet and a frisbee with fennel sellotape to the top that's it trashy such thing as the carrot skipping right you just made that up well there is one look it's not a real thing though is it right like flights of fancy now [Applause] it's time for the next sleeping bag investigation a hardhat that is that's a frisbee no oh no it's one of those seven no it's not it's sort of what is that that says like a book do you want to know specifically which book oh if you if you know I think you know what I'm gonna guess it's a crime novel hey butt plug don't put that down yet I've broken whatever that is that's tricky that one write something on a rope yeah it's velcro another one of those things you put hand in you throw like a Velcro game oh that's a new thing oh it's a little tour toys fan out it's tough that [Applause] about oh he thought he knew is your Stephen bag he felt a carrot and he thought you know probably a bug attached to a rope which I thought was very year yeah I do tend to panic I mean yeah he got two out of five and well several lolly Noll and Joe have all got two out of five four they're all joint first at the moment but there is still Mel if you want to see her attempt to guess what's in a sleeping bag yes I do please that's a YMCA helmet a YMCA helmet yeah the guy that was the construction manager presumably they've got it all be linked that's a book that's a frisbee with a bit of velcro on it which makes me think of that kids games I think they had a tortoise it was like a toy plastic tortoise so that could be the end of a skipping rope is it some really pervy outfit but he might wear on a night out oh right breastplate wrote a roman soldiers helmet and a breastplate and a right set of combat equipment toys this what's that thing is it like a nun shocker chuckles yeah one Chuck I'm gonna go with armor breastplate helmet sort of Roman combat items but for children that you use it put you guys on a garden with a book of instructions on how to good [Applause] so dramatically wrong across the board you've felt a construction workers hell man you said it's a YMCA helmet you are aware the construction came before the military Stanny right no but where's widly she does get point because we've disqualified hue so she comes second last wow that's incredible these three get five despite being useless you still cross but get zero and Mel gets two points school board is looking like this we lolly had a focus still out in front [Applause] okay okay off you go please make your way to the stage [Applause] that looks like a fascinating collection of objects in front of our contestants hmm who should we get to read out the tasks Alex Hojo prepare these items for the second part of the task so it's prepare the item for the second part the task and that's it that's the full instruction they've got a try to second-guess us Craig okay okay you got one minute starting [Music] [Music] besides they've got one egg some grapes some Gaffa tape three ducks and orange which Q's tucking into some glue a stapler and a milk bottle [Music] [Applause] no still play interestingly they're ready to hear the second part the task yes Joe I'm gonna start pretty much straightaway so ready I think you're [ __ ] now hold all your items in one hand then put your other hand on your head fastest wins [Applause] not cigar jest they're great yeah yeah he's holding me and to be fair even if I don't win I got to fill up Greg [Applause] what a journey we've been on talk me through Alex are we happy that Knoll held all the items by holding you yeah I I am happy I mean admittedly that might be because I enjoy being held Nolan first place in him as instant almost got it would smell then held the whole lot with in cling film and on a table the rest goes bloody huge oh by the time you've gathered everything Joe I'm afraid you were in in last place yeah means the final scores look like this [Applause] just before ones that collect reprises let's have a quick update on the series yes the series scores are interesting lonely may have one but she's in last place overall he's got nine to two points then she 196 Joanne Mellon 100 and no 'ls and 105 so with - so today [Applause] scale all to play for but tonight no one can take it away from her lolly has won well done lolly please that's it anything to add Alex yes I might say a special hello and thank you to all those watching on catch-up television call that hello thank you so what have we learned today well we've learnt when you think there's no hope left in the world when all around us is chaos remember that tonight you saw a 55 year old man score an over head goal with a plastic bag winner tonight though [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] for more top laughter subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 1,778,597

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Roisin Conaty, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, hugh dennis, joe lycett, mel giedroyc, lolly adefope, noel fielding, taskmaster series 5, series 5 episode 6

Id: nhxhHEI3Exk

Length: 45min 13sec (2713 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 03 2020