Taskmaster - Series 1, Episode 1 'Melon buffet'

[Music] this is taskmaster in this show I Greg Davis makes some accomplished but needy comedians do stupid things for me why because I can I'm a powerful man look at me thank you they have no idea how each other did but they will soon find out I should be judging both what they did and how they did it my word is final the contestants will definitely respect me let's meet them now first he's wearing a suit because he's both professional I'm from a different generation to the others smart Frank Skinner a man who's chosen not to wear a suit and who clearly needs a haircut Josh Widdicombe next up a woman I want genuinely witnessed calling for her mum because she'd seen a mouse rushing Conaty manor is quickly gained a reputation in comedy for being livid all the time Romesh Ranganathan laureate if some massive poet disaster happens Tim K there's always I am both aided and fluffed by my personal assistant Alex Horne a little bit okay thanks thanks for giving me this opportunity you're welcome so tell us about the first task okay well I think you're tremendous and as always the first part it's the prize task each of the contestants have brought in one of their own possessions for the prize haul and they're gonna be awarded points depending on how impressed you are by them yeah yes tonight you've asked them to bring in their most unusual eyes and that's what I'll be scoring this first round on them how unusual their unusual item is Frank Skinner what was your unusual item that you decided to donate I have brought in a pair of grape scissors yes they have grapes on their shaft when I first saw them I thought they were Emmer eyed tweezers but now as anyone in this room ever heard of great cutters before yeah doesn't sound that unusual Frank chops what did you bring it I brought in a football signed by the Plymouth Argyle squad that lost in the division 2 1994 playoff semifinals did they use invisible ink most unusual signed football of it what did you bring in I found this old poet and he carves on benches and I found him sitting next to the bench that he just carved into and I took a photo but it's that from a trip that Roshan and I had to the seaside recently where I paid for lunch and the petrol interesting me you would [Laughter] last place but ROM ashes just snatched that frog even know what he's brought in why have you brought I've brought in a snow globe that features my children photo shots is little Sanders it was given to me as a Christmas present for my sister-in-law I think we can all agree to just present in the history I get presented that picture in a snow globe which has very few of those little grant you know that granule the snow density is poor like you should have to shake it for ages and it's only floating for about half two seconds maximum like it's awful um is it scientific all three of them have signed it okay a snow globe isn't an unusual item but your fury is yeah but snow globes featuring my three children to this only 250 for you Tim key what did you bring in reindeer skull [Laughter] is how to play this game okay let's not mess around a clear winner the winner of round one ladies jack about mr. Tim Kaine and legs jamming there are all of the unusual prizes where they're up there on the balcony and the winner of this competition will have to take all of that oh so let's get these onto the leaderboards okay so who have you got in second place Greg I've got a lot of grape scissors they're insane okay and third oh you know snow globe all right and so you've got the picture of yourself and fourth yes of course and I would put that last if I could but the football was so bad I have rubbed off the signatures and put me last which all means the scoreboard looks like this Josh Widdicombe in last place Tim K in first place let's toss the first task proper this took place in my lab at my taskmaster a treat and for good reason [Music] as I said first of all I bet this was a bit kinky used to be a guy in my village I used to wear one of these if it's my task Garf looking back at school and science lessons I really need my reading goggles in the lab there is a watermelon he is much watermelon as possible you have one minute your time starts when you opened the door to the lab I'm allergic to watermelon frost eye things are just that what I love watermelon I'm a big fan of it but you know I'm sure it was gonna be ruined by this experience about the tone of this show now you know there's five comedians being forced to eat as much watermelon as they can well it's wearing a white boy let's eat Josh we're gonna see you first your melon fat yeah you know fine seven out of ten it's quite a strange question isn't it ah she's attempt bearing in mind the task is to eat as much watermelon as you can in the time allowed well okay so I'm worried look I'm gonna get in here and there's gonna be a watermelon sitting on a table so I need some kind of carving knife or knife [Music] [Music] [Music] I mean I don't know how you do backs up on that I'll show you you know I was impressed that he used implement but I I didn't think there was a much sense of urgency though I've seen my grandmother eating melon and it seemed a similar sort of pace I've seen you quite like melon there's the proof I thought I'd done whoa I'll be honest with you I think you've slowed down the footage I wouldn't put it past you no you did all right you ate in one minute you ate 218 grams of watermelon that's the equivalent of 10 mice imagine that just become Daniel any-any antagonism between you and I over this issue it's it's all scripted muster Frank Skinner [Music] not so much Caliban after that amazing technique I mean there's a lot of ageist references to Frank being the oldest member of the panel I want you to have a look at Frank in a white boiler suit because we're of the opinion that he looks 12 years of age for you sir such an impressive start yeah well I'd forgotten my watermelon scissors not occurred to me that it would be a bright idea to get a knife or anything like I was just gonna I was prepared to tangle with it from the off my feeling is that Frank probably gobbled a lot more melon than Josh no not at all no he ate 179 grams as equivalent of nine mice or ten smaller mice but for less left just left [Applause] oh I need a thing I need some sort of hammer you can't get a hammer a knife can I - I can get it well is there any listen Eric you're 36 seconds Russia Oh God we can won a bigger one this is no it's true this job to do this I mean I just grazed it I've got so many questions I guess my first question is you knew before you went into that room that the challenge was to eat as much money as possible and yet your reaction to seeing a melon on the table was a massive bowl of mellow just keep eating seconds have passed before rushing started to eat melon a $0.54 fifty-fifth be negative but i have eaten that much melon by walking posture for how much melon did roshan committee eat i put it in Rolo's she ate one Rolo 9 grams lovely and they were all having fun but this thing is funded by adverts so we've got to stop for a while so you see [Music] welcome back to taskmaster if you've just joined us you've missed some comedians either eating or not eating watermelon who sing next we're gonna see if I mentioned Tim together I've grouped them and you'll see why [Music] [Applause] hmm I know what [Music] [Music] if I show up with you way up [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] amazing how far we've come Josh Widdicombe gently spooning melon into his bag - two Psychopaths my first question to you there was clearly a table in front of you why did you throw it on the floor well I knew it wasn't gonna be like a melon buffet I knew it's gonna be a whole watermelon but I just didn't realize that a watermelon was that soft no I thought in my head it was like rock-hard and then when I threw it was that holy that has gone everywhere in surprise I just didn't I just I just I just in my head like so I'll just have to really smash it or you can eat buffet just kick him Tim how do you I mean you live recognize the technique you know it's a minute it's a watermelon it's got to be grandmother technique smash it can I just say I genuinely thought I was gonna die like like basically I when the whistle when I my throat was full of watermelon and then my my body just went let's try and get that down shall we and then I started like bait it's a weird situation because at this bit of watermelon it was quite weird it was really surreal it was really big and I kept trying to swallow and my body may I just went I was it was horrendous my instinct is that tim-ki probably gobbled the most melon there because of the vomiting I asked whether it counts if you vomit do you weigh the vomit and you said no that's why I didn't vomit I think when the whistle goes if the melons still inside you it can't and I thank God for that because I think I produced more melon than I ate the other way Tim ate three hundred and two grams of watermelon in one minute and Ramesh ate 301 ground the way I measured it was scooping up and weighing what was left in the room compared to what was in the water and so some of that had been in rubbish at one point five so you scooped up rubbish his vomit so I mean it's up to you there's one gram difference but also there was a bit dodgy business with Tim if you just want to have a look at this at the end of that task ogy fancy which mean he was the winner if we count that bitter melon yeah so I didn't weigh that bit cuz it was in Tim if you want subtract nine from Tim's it would permit in the lead that's up to you what I find very difficult about it is I'm pretty sure that Tim winked to us as he left did he wink us it's very hard to tell if it wasn't wink it was a bad wink but we can have a look if that's a wink that's that's such breathtaking arrogance from the audience I commit sure if you think that was a wink I'm taking nine grams off you good work Ramesh one step closer to the reindeer skull Alex how the scores look in very very neat I've put them through with frames and we can see them there the leader is Tim key followed by Ramesh and Roshan and Joshua and last and second off so there are three tasks to go including a live task on the stage behind me at the end and with ornate grape cutting scissors to play for emotions must be running pretty high what's next Alex we have some extreme art [Music] this necessary is it Wow what pile of horse paint the best picture of a horse boss riding a horse I've never ridden a horse before and I am absolutely dug to painting I feel more comfortable about painting a horse probably than riding one can't paint Conrad horses I could draw a horse sat on a chair and I can ride a horse in my mind don't get points for that what was hoping for here when we set this challenge was for you to capture the essence of horse Alex um before we carry on can you show us which which horse everyone was painting so the horse they were attempting straw is called bass bass is there yeah it's not a bad horse it's not about horse now I'm going to ask you Greg to judge the paintings just from gut reactions before you know who's painted which paintings so here are five paintings of horses painted whilst riding horses I know that a lot of a lot of judges in art competitions and I find it difficult I'll tell you now at one glance I'm gonna find this pretty straightforward this is the way I see it bottom-right is clearly the best picture of the horse which you all agree with me secondly the horse next to it is a sort of impressionist version of a horse but there is some degree of artistic flair happy with that yeah so the top three absolutely the one on the right I've got a bridle has been some attention to detail that that person probably can dress themselves the next one incredibly bad but so dramatically overshadowed by a picture of a giant mouse genuinely don't know who painted these but that is one of the worst paintings that I've ever seen in my life in fact you see it's genuinely infuriated fear as if things couldn't get any more exciting we're gonna pause for a break see you in a minute [Applause] [Music] welcome back the task master now where were we to the paintings it's a horse mate now I think I have a better idea okay so here are the names of the artists so yeah Tim ki painted the worst one Frank Skinner painted the best one but I think it's really worth you watching how they painted it you may want to change your mind Greg I mean I won't change my mind on Tim's but let's say I mean I would say that Tim did spend the longest time on the horse by quite some distance so want to capture Buzzy's spirit I've got a really good start guys I'm really pleased now it's looking oh my word [Music] [Music] shut up just difficult to express myself artistically miss in these conditions how do you make brown pleased with us as men can't multitask okay I'm done oh definitely does gonna get better [Music] roshun conspicuous by her absence so far that obviously means she's either done incredibly well or incredibly badly well come on to that Frank do you paint your paintings lovely you know what I tell weird thing has happened I've never painted before since school and at the end of that I thought you know what I might start painting and I went out and I actually bought some watercolors and stuff and I'm less good not on a horse you your parents have 15 horses Oh tight horses you hate horses yes you know into what your parents are into how much I we have known each other long but I've never seen you that happy before I was just so really I just lost myself in the joy of it you know I have you seen the film The Matrix you know when neo suddenly sees everything in code I suddenly saw everything in like auras and I saw buzzes spirit and I just basically tried to capture that on the canvas and and and it stopped being to make brain you don't know I quote how'd you make brown Alec says how do you think and you said blue I had bigger problems than that yeah you did have bigger problems than that I mean weapon what not very good at painting never ridden horse and I guess I was sort of somewhere thinking anteaters I want to slam you into last place but there's a reason I don't know what it is yet but there's a reason why Roe Sheen's been separated from the group don't kill the horse let's see if she did kill the horse i 100% cannot paint a horse whilst on a horse I never get on it I'll meet him but I've met loads of horses so I do I meet the course I decide not to get on them it's my it's my history of horses would you trust us if we came up with Plan B what's plan B there's a plan B this is Macmillan the mechanical horse and this is bad through actual horse that you're going to be painting yeah it's impressionist he's quite Suzanne I'm finished we find it I have way better than I thought so bill that my little pony I cannot divorce for steady rhythm I've never been on a horse met hundreds of horses around the world oh I beg sure it's what I do what do you wanna do great you've put her in a third place at the moment I can't possibly put anywhere my horse was at that window my painting is actually quite good all I had was his head it was easier he was already framed it is what I think's fair I mean you you did do a painting of a horse but for the challenge you were supposed to be riding a horse while you were painting and therefore I'm afraid you have to be disqualified from this trial take last place you don't think that's fair I'll go last place but not just going to fight that's fair right okay I'll go third lipstick motion in last place for not actually painting a horse whilst on a horse and the winner of that task was mr. Franks it's what the school safer okay so it's tight we have a leader as you can see but there are two people in second place Romesh Lee in the lead Kim and Frank in sick let's crack on with the next task [Music] Oh God Oh it's gonna be a lot fun completely empty this bathtub fastest wins must not remove the part plug tip or damage to the bath your time startsnow what what didn't you understand about that test you know it's an easy task it was just empty the bath without removing the plug but there's lots of different varieties of methods as we can see again I've grouped I put Frank and Josh together to display some methods is it are we seeing them first if you if you want to really do wanting yeah yeah I can do that yeah I don't do this while I think this can't be the way to do it can't tip it can't bring out the plug have you got Hoover can you do that I mean that's got death written all over it hasn't it I know there's nothing to do with petrol where you get the thing and you suck and then it keeps it going you used to be a thing that ruffians used to do with petrol tanks when they siphoned it you have to drink a set amount of petrol to do it or soapy water it's no no I remember it I'm tempted to just go for it with a bucket now I'm gonna go for the bucket this year thing could be quiet man [Music] [Laughter] [Music] this is neatly completely dry [Music] it's hard to get the last the last drinks I mean I think you've got to say no 70 the song bits what I think that's my best one Justin he both use the same method and you both made it look incredibly difficult to a beer bath though I can't tell you how heavy those bins of bath water may be put less water it well yeah I'm Safi ins used to turn the cars upside down to successfully siphon you have to do it a lot better than that this was is that some research yeah they both did it very badly when you siphon you've got to have the exit below the yeah yeah I realized that days later my instinct is probably I don't know you'll be able to tell us but my instinct is the probably Frank did it quicker because Josh there's a constant running commentary on how well he's doing yeah I love your interesting you're right Frank in 7 minutes and 42 seconds Josh 1 minute long 8 minutes and 52 so Roshi you're scared of lots of stuff you're scared of water no that's how I look thanks Alex No what else could I get some more things [Music] kitchen one minute I've got one minute no woman's gone my one day back guys I lost it [Music] oh really sighs what's that about half big lunch at night oh my god it's very deep there's a bit left I let me get it out how would you get that in bit out less than a minute slower than Josh but you didn't empty the bar from the end well there's about was it though some water it was there was a healthy meniscus I can only imagine what these two animals how they approached this completely empty this bathtub fastest wins you must not remove the plug tip or damage the bath your time startsnow tip or damage sure [Music] we'll make a request yeah can I get a towel yeah now yep [Music] [Music] okay let's get our I'm gonna get tough [Music] I'm done with that question a special round of applause who I presume is the inevitable winner mr. Tim Kay incredible incredible passion from both men enjoy yourselves yes it's a good time Ramesh you entered the bathtub in 2 minutes and 50 seconds it's pretty quick yes he did leave empty the bath time in 2 minutes and 20 seconds so nice a decisive winner in around I loved it yes Jordan there's one slight issue in that there was a rule saying you're not have to remove the plug and during the passion of Tim we did spot if you just have a look again you can just see the plug but it wasn't in all the time what was dislodged I mean that that knocks him down it's unfortunate it's unfortunate the thing is if I didn't know that well you say that I mean we have got footage of you after the what we do [Applause] what's that face what's that face right that's me having completed the task just having a little walk around what do you pick up met him picked up so just what are we you you picked up the pod and put it back in the bar but you disguised your actions well of course because I cuz it's cheating can we see how effectively he disguise point anything at all I had about whether that was a wink in the previous round that was a wink all right what's the fair thing to do I take him down to places right it's up to you shut up rose why don't you just drop me down by a place no way you've got a you've got to go rushing what do you think the plug out the bar you took the plug at the bathmats in a few you're going to last place good judgment or getting on your high horse he should be honorable and last place you cheated well do you know what I'm gonna do I'll tell you what obviously okay I'm gonna put in my last place judgment [Applause] a lot of like dating key after the break we have one more task which will be done right here on the stage Tim will you cheat again yep it's exciting isn't it see you after the break master where a reindeer scolds still up for grabs like what the school so far okay so Romesh is on 17 points Frank Skinner is on potentially get the task would you okay so Tim here is these live tasks if you could read it clearly and flowly pleased him pop up a tent get in the tent zip up the tent pop on a onesie in the tent and emerge from the tent wearing the onesie fastest wins yes we're just sick fighting against you gonna pop up your tent you're gonna get into the tent the tent zip it up zip the tent put on the onesie that is currently in your rucksack come out of the tent first out of the tent wins why do we put our tent don't I mean don't we all gonna get all that you can do internally can I say I'm 58 I might never come out of the pen Alex got ready to blow your whistle let's get on with this good luck everyone your time starts the taste of dates anything close with these people Frank cities workers then Frank is in this way job this way this way that's lovely zip in the front please zipper the front face back a bit back a bit back of it zip of the front please get in it if you get in it are you in ever shaming you in their terms yeah you're not to eat you send someone into front yet very still for Barry [Applause] looks a little bit like election night [Applause] he almost made me forgive the crimes of earlier in the episode what incredible victories mr. Tim King I'm damaged during this Alex you work out how that's affected the final scores [Music] magnificent performance from the obvious winner of that task mr. Tim key later Jenna okay so let's find out has ramesh lost the snowglobe of his children who's going to win a reindeer skull with a hole in it let's have a look at the final scores Alex they are Oh the tiebreak I genuinely don't know what happens here is what the hell are we gonna do about this there must be a winner we did a tie-break passage when I hid in an area of the task cottage and they open the task saying find Alex so if we see whether Frank or rubbish found me first they will be the overall so this whole thing is going to be decided on a game of hide-and-seek I think so yeah that's about right find Alex [Music] I found Alex [Music] Oh rubbish I imagine you wish you'd hold your hide-and-seek skills more when you were a child my parents did lock me away and stuff in that video clip I felt like I look like I was moving more frantically than Frank and he had sort of a chilled out vibe but yet still destroyed me in terms of the time but you know it's all as I said in the hair yeah lovely less less movement more fine yeah but on the plus side but I don't have that dog no glow anymore so so the winner of today's show late judgment is mr. Frank Skinner well that's open this week I've been the taskmaster and this has been taskmaster thank you Alex you mr. Skinner may go and collect your prize all mr. Frank Skinner your way no legs thank you for watching and remember learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks isn't that right good night [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for more top Lancer subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 2,860,413

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Roisin Conaty, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster Series 1, Taskmaster full episode, Taskmaster series 1 episode 1

Id: v4YhsooE5xY

Length: 44min 50sec (2690 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 07 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/GodOfDucks]

/r/taskmaster, natch.

[u/Johnzim]

Everyone needs to watch taskmaster! Whole series are on YouTube! In full!