- WHEN STORAGE UNITS
ARE ABANDONED... IN THE GREAT STATE
OF TEXAS, THE TREASURES WITHIN... - THAT'S THE PRIZE. - ARE PUT UP FOR AUCTION. - YEAH.
- RIGHT HERE! - YEAH! - COMING UP... - OH! - ALL THESE AMATEURS HERE,
THEY JUST SEE THE JUNK. I'M LOCKED ONTO
THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX. THERE WE GO. - HOLD ON A MINUTE. THOUGHT I HEARD
SOMETHING RATTLE. - WHAT IS THAT?
- SOME KIND OF MEDAL. - I WILL TELL YOU
EXACTLY TO HIS FACE. I DON'T LIKE VIC. - I HOPE MISS LESA
SPANKS SOME ASS. [firing]
- AAH! - AND IT'S SOLD! - TODAY, WE'RE
TRAVELIN' WEST AGAIN FROM DALLAS
TO FORT WORTH, TEXAS. - THIS IS WHERE
ALL THE COWBOYS ENDED UP WHEN ALL THE YUPPIES
CHASED 'EM OUTTA THE CITY. - SO, WE MIGHT FIND
WESTERN COLLECTIBLES. - AND HOPEFULLY SOME OTHER ITEMS
GEARED TOWARDS COUNTRY FOLK. - I WONDER
IF HE'S GONNA SHOW UP. JUST RECENTLY,
ON AN APPRAISAL, BUBBA AND I CROSSED PATHS WITH PRO FOOTBALL PLAYER
ROY WILLIAMS. - YOU SHOULD
COME WITH US SOMETIME. CHECK IT OUT.
- I WOULD LOVE TO. - THAT HIM? I BELIEVE IT IS. - I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CURIOUS
ABOUT STORAGE AUCTIONS. JUST LIKE POKER,
JUST LIKE FOOTBALL. IT'S COMPETITION. I MADE A LITTLE
POCKET CHANGE IN SPORTS. AND I'M READY
FOR A NEW CHALLENGE. I HAVE NO CLUE. - WE'LL WALK YOU THROUGH IT,
DON'T WORRY. - EVERYTHING WE GET TODAY, ROY, BUBBA, AND I ARE GONNA
SPLIT IT THREE WAYS. - I THINK THAT MIGHT BE THAT
FOOTBALL PLAYER ROY WILLIAMS STANDIN' AGAINST
THE WALL OVER THERE. I'M NOT GONNA OUTBID HIM,
HE'LL TACKLE ME. - THIS THE ROY WILLIAMS
THAT LEFT OUR COWBOYS FOR THE BEARS? WHAT'S HE DOIN' HERE? - WHAT'S GOIN' ON, MAN?
HOW YOU DOIN'? I'M ROY. - WHAT'S UP,
ROY WILLIAMS? - HOW YOU DOIN'?
NICE TO MEET YOU. WHY'RE YOU JUST
LOOKIN' ME UP AND DOWN? WHY'RE YOU
SIZIN' ME UP, MY MAN? [laughter] DAMN. - I DON'T TRUST THIS GUY. - RIGHT OFF THE BAT,
I CAN TELL ROY IS READY TO PLAY. AND I LOVE IT. - SO, YOU--YOU DO, LIKE-- YOU'RE A FOOTBALL PLAYER,
AND YOU DO WHAT WE DO. - YEAH. - DID YOU LEAVE
AFTER THE YEAR THAT, UH-- - WANNA JOIN IN
ON OUR CONVERSATION, LESA? I'LL WELCOME YOU IN. - I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
IN ON THIS CONVERSATION. WHAT'RE YOU TRYIN' TO DO? - YOU DON'T LIKE VIC?
- SHE DON'T LIKE ME. - NO, I DON'T LIKE VIC.
- WHY? WHAT HAPPENED? - I WILL TELL YOU
EXACTLY TO HIS FACE. I DON'T LIKE VIC. - I MET LESA ABOUT FOUR YEARS
AGO AT AN AUCTION. WE DIDN'T HIT IT OFF. I'M IN LOVE WITH HER, ACTUALLY.
- HE'S ARROGANT. - SOMETIMES I GET A LITTLE
SARCASTIC WITH HER TO GET IN HER HEAD. IF I COULD THROW YOU OFF
ON YOUR GAME ONE DAY, JUST GET INSIDE YOUR HEAD,
THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO. - HE'S GOT UGLY WORDS
COMIN' OUTTA HIS MOUTH. - CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? - HE SAID SOMETHING
UGLY TO YOU? - VICTOR HAS BEEN ANNOYING ME
FOR FOUR YEARS, NOW. I GOT A LOTTA
NEW CUSTOMERS TO BUY FOR. I DON'T NEED ALL THIS CRAP
IN MY HEAD, YOU KNOW? AND HE'S ALL UP IN THAT-- AND THEN HE'S TALLER
THAN I AM TOO, SO I'M TRYING
TO WEAR HEELS NOW. - TELL ME, HE SAID
SOMETHING UGLY TO YOU? WHAT DID HE SAY? - I'M NOT
GOING TO REPEAT IT. - [gasps]
- I WON'T REPEAT IT. - OH, WOW. MAN, TSE PEOPLE
ARE [bleep] CRAZY. - OKAY, GATHER 'ROUND,
EVERYBODY. HERE ARE THE RULES
FOR TODAY'S AUCTION... FIRST THING IS
YOU'LL HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO LOOK AROUND
AFTER WE OPEN THE DOOR. YOU'LL NOT BE ALLOWED TO TOUCH
OR STEP INSIDE EACH LOCKER. IT'S A CASH-ONLY SALE. PLEASE BID ONLY TH THE MONEY
THAT YOU HAVE TODAY. ARE YOU READY TO GO? all: YEAH! - HAMMER UP, LET'S GO! [cheers] - OH!
- WHOA! - NICE, SMALL,
LITTLE UNIT. WASHER AND DRYER
IN HERE, THOUGH. - WASHER AND--
- WHY NOT? THIS WASHER AND DRYER WOULD BE A SNAP
TO SELL TODAY. - OH, YEAH.
I LIKE THE WASHER AND DRYER. LOOKS GOOD.
- WORK BOOTS. - WE GOT SOME BOXES. AND IT'S GONNA GO HIGHER JUST
'CAUSE THE WASHER AND DRYER. - THANK YOU. - IT'S A NICE LOCKER. BUT I DON'T HAVE
THE ROOM IN MY TRAILER FOR A WASHER
AND DRYER SET. - WELL, COME ON DOWN
AND GET SOME O' THAT 500. - I'M MIGHT GET SOME
REEBOKS IN THIS ONE? AH! - SOME BOXES O' STUFF. MIGHT BE SOME GOODIES
IN THOSE SHOEBOXES. - SOME COWBOY BOOTS, EVEN. - THERE YOU GO.
- I'M GOOD. - ROY IS OBVIOUSLY NOT PLAYING
THIS ONE CLOSE TO THE VEST. YOU DON'T WANNA
TELL PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THE UNIT. THAT JUST DRIVES
THE PRICES UP. THEY KNOW YOU WANT IT,
SO THEY'RE GONNA ROLL YOU UP. - INTIMIDATION
ALWAYS WORKS FOR ME. I'M TELLIN' EVERYBODY
I WANT THAT LOCKER. - OKAY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, READY TO SELL THIS ONE,
NUMBER 43. LITTLE WASHER
AND DRYER LOCKER, HERE. - 52 BUCKS. - THOUGHT YOU
WAS SAYIN' 200. WHAT'M I BID HERE? 50! - ...TWO. 52.
- 52! I'LL TAKE 52. NOW 75. ANYBODY GIVE 75? I HAVE 75. NOW 100. BIDDING 100. - HE'S NEW? I'M DEFINITELY
RUNNING THIS GUY UP. - NOW A QUARTER--125. AND 50, BIDDING 150. NOW 75. 175... 175! I HAVE 175. NOW 200! TOOK TOO LONG! 200. NOW A QUARTER.
WE NEED 225. 225. SHE SAYS NO. 225, IS THAT A YEAH? - YEAH.
- 225. 250, NOW 50. 250? 250? SOLD IT, BUBBA. - YOU GOT IT. - SOLD IT, BUBBA, $225. - WHY DOES IT GOTTA
BE RICKY AND BUBBA? WHAT ABOUT--
- RICKY, BUBBA, AND ROY! - AND ROY!
- AND ROY! ALL RIGHT, THAT'S YOU. - THIS IS MY FIRST UNIT.
[grunts] - WE JUST PAID 225
FOR A HUNDRED-DOLLAR LOCKER. - TEAMIN' UP
WITH A CELEBRITY IS FUN, BUT NOT CHEAP. - OH!
- [claps] - [whistles]
- HOLD ONTO YOUR MONEY! - Y'ALL HOLD BACK! - THAT LOOKS LIKE
SOME OLD JORDANS IN THERE. - WE'LL START THERE.
- THE MICROWAVE. - MISSIN' DRAWERS,
MESSED UP COUCH. - BUT SHE DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S INSIDE THAT, UM... - THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX?
- YEAH. - LOOKS LIKE
A PISTOL CASE. I LIKE IT THAT ROY IS POINTING
OUT SOME OBSCURE ITEMS, BUT A GUN CASE
DOESN'T MEAN THERE'S A GUN. THIS UNIT'S
NOT FOR US, ROY. NO. - GOT A POOPY SCOOTER,
GOT A POOPY SEAT... THAT'S VICTOR'S UNIT,
RIGHT THERE. - MM-HMM. - PROCESSIN' THIS UNIT
COST US TEN TIMES MORE THAN WHAT WE PAID FOR IT. - THIS LOOKS LIKE CRAP. - WHERE'S VIC?
- RIGHT THERE. - VIC, IT'S YOU, BROTHA. - TOP HALF OF
THE HOVEROUND CHAIR IS MISSING, TWO OLD TVs YOU CAN'T
GET A DIME FROM... THERE IS
A BLACK BOX, THERE. WE'LL SEE. ALL THESE AMATEURS HERE, THEY JUST SEE THE JUNK. I'M LOCKED ONTO
THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX. - ALL RIGHT, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, HERE WE GO! WHAT'M I BID HERE? - $20! - VICTOR, $20!
NOW 30... [auctioneering] WAKE UP! - 30! - NOW 30! WHAT? - 30! - OKAY, I GOT VICTOR AT 20,
AND VICTOR AT 30! - OH! - GET 40, NOW, 40! - SOUNDED LIKE $20! - ROOKIE MISTAKE! I SOLD IT, SOLD IT, SOLD IT!
VICTOR, FOR $30! [cheering] - SUCKER!
[laughs] SUCKER! WELL, THAT CUT VICTOR
DOWN A SIZE. - WE HAVE
A NEW ROOKIE AMONGST US! - ROOKIE? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU CAN'T BUY,
YOU AUCTIONEER. - WHY DIDN'T YOU
HELP VICTOR OUT, HUH? - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - HE WOULDN'T HAVE
LOOKED SO BAD. - NO, HE DID IT
TO HIMSELF. - I'M RUNNIN' BACK
TO THE LOCKER I PAID $30 FOR. THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX I SAW
COULD BE A CASE TO A GUN, OR SOMETHING COLLECTIBLE. I SPOTTED THIS
FROM OUTSIDE. WHOA! - WELL, I SPOTTED THIS
FROM OUTSIDE. WHOA! THERE YA GO. OLD BILLS. NOTHIN' IN THERE. THAT LITTLE BLACK BOX
TURNED OUT TO BE NOTHING. BUT I'M NOT GIVIN' UP. AND ALSO BEHIND
THE MATTRESSES... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. ALSO THE GOOD STUFF
IS UNDER THE DRAWER. NOT IN THIS CASE. THAT'S FIREWOOD,
TVs ARE JUNK... NIKES AND STUFF,
BUT THEY'RE USED. THERE'S NOTHIN' THERE. BOXES OR SOMETHING-- THERE WE GO. HMM. AND MY TOMAHAWK. LOOKS TO BE, UH--
LOOKS TO BE A LITTLE OLD TO ME. THIS TOMAHAWK'S COOL. WHETHER IT'S KITSCH
OR ANTIQUE, I REALLY DON'T KNOW. I DEFINITELY GOTTA
TAKE THIS SOMEWHERE. THAT'S SOMETHIN'
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT. I GOT WHAT I WANTED
OUTTA THIS LOCKER. WHAT THE HELL
AM I GONNA DO WITH THE REST OF THAT
GARBAGE IN THERE? - OKAY. - OKAY--OH, SO YOU
GOTTA GET ONE. I THINK IT'S IN MY ROOM. WHAT? THERE COULDA BEEN
A FLAT-SCREEN IN THERE. I'LL SELL IT TO YOU
RIGHT NOW FOR 40. - HEY. - DEAL. IT WASN'T TOO HARD TO FIND
A READY AND WILLING BUYER FOR MY $30 LOCKER. IF SHE WORKS HARD,
SHE MIGHT MAKE HER MONEY BACK. I JUST SOLD MY ROOM,
I MADE $10. - OH, NICE. - LOOKIT THAT
THERMOMETER, ROY. - OH! [crowd chatters] - OKAY, ROY, LET'S LOOK IT OVER.
WHAT DO WE THINK? - WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT ALL THE BOXES? - THIS UNIT
LOOKS LIKE THEY GOT EVERYTHING THEY WANTED
OUT OF IT, AND THEN LEFT. I'VE GOT STACKS AND STACKS
OF THOSE OLD TVs. - REALLY?
- YEAH. - SO NO. - NO. THIS UNIT'S
NOT FOR US. OR ROY. - IT'S DEFINITELY
BEEN GONE-THROUGH. THEY TOOK OUT
WHAT THEY WANTED FROM HERE. CHEAP RADIO... NO. NOT TODAY. - ALL RIGHT, I NEED TO LOOK
AT THIS ONE CLOSE. - LITTLE BUCKET OF TOOLS,
STEREO... - TABLE AND CHAIRS... - TV... THAT DRILL
STICKIN' UP LIKE THAT? THAT MAKES ME THINK THERE'S
MORE TOOLS BURIED IN HERE. I HOPE MISS LESA SPANKS SOME ASS
AND GETS THIS UNIT. - I'LL BID ON THIS ONE.
IT'S CLEAN. - OKAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. - SO, IS THIS YOUR GUYSES
FIRST SALE? - YEAH. YOU? - WHAT'M I BID?
- 15. - 15, NOW 20. GIVE $20 BID. 20.
NOW 30. HOW 'BOUT THAT? 30, NOW 40.
- YEAH! 50, 50, NOW 60,
GIVE $60 BID. I HAVE 60 OVER THERE, NOW 70.
- YEAH! - THAT'S 70,
NOW 80, NOW 90. LESA, YOU'RE OUT 90. 90, AND 100. 100, 100... 100 HERE, NOW 10! WANNA GIVE 110! NOW 20, 20, 20.
WE'LL DO $120 BID. 120, GIVE 120. 120. I SOLD IT, SOLD IT, SOLD IT.
LESA, $110. LESA, $110. - THAT'S A GOOD DEAL.
[cheering] SPOTTED THE CLEANEST UNIT
I'VE SEEN ALL HERE DAY. - IF YOU BUY A UNIT, IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
TO CLEAN IT OUT AND SWEEP IT. - HOLD ON,
SO IF YOU BUY A UNIT, YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE
WHAT YOU WANT, THEN LEAVE IT? - OH, NO. EVERYTHING'S
GOTTA COME OUTTA THERE. - RICKY, BUBBA, AND I... WE'RE WALKIN' UP
TO THE FIRST LOCKER THAT I'VE EVER BEEN
A PART OF BUYING. IT'S THE LOCKER
THAT WE PAID 225 FOR THAT HAS A WASHER AND DRYER,
AND SOME BOXES. DO WE HAVE ANYBODY THAT CAN
COME CLEAN UP FOR US? - YEAH. - OH! SO, I'M THE--
I'M THE GUY? - WELL, WE'LL HELP YA.
I'LL HOLD THE DUSTPAN. - ROY HELPED US OVERPAY
ON THIS UNIT, SO [chuckles] THERE'S NO QUESTION, HE'S GONNA
DO HIS SHARE O' THE WORK. - LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT IN HERE.
- LET'S DO IT. - OKAY. BE CAREFUL
THROWIN' THAT STUFF. THAT MIGHTA HAD
MAMA'S CHINA IN THERE. - NOTHIN'?
- NOTHIN'. - GOT SOME Q-TIPS, SON! - AH, DON'T MESS WITH THEM!
THAT'S NASTY! - SOME GOOD WAX ON IT!
EWW! - PERSONAL PAPERS. WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR
RIGHT HERE IS MAYBE GIFT CARDS. - "BEST WISHES FOR A MEMORABLE
DAY AND GREAT YEAR AHEAD..." - GIFT CARDS,
NOT BIRTHDAY CARDS, ROY. - [laughs] OOH, BUBBA. both: [laugh] - OH, MAN!
- OH, MY LORD. - DO YOU GUYS SELL THESE,
OR WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO? - NO, I--I THINK THEY MIGHT
THROW US UNDER THE JAIL WE TRY TO SELL THOSE.
- OR UNDER THE BUS OR SOMETHIN'. - GIRLIE PICS AREN'T GONNA
MAKE OUR MONEY BACK. CAREFUL WITH WHAT
WE'RE THROWIN' AWAY. HOLD ON A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE, I THOUGHT
I HEARD SOMETHIN' RATTLE. MORE COINS. - WHAT IS THAT?
- SOME KIND OF MEDAL. - I'M SORRY? - THIS--WHATEVER THIS IS,
IS DATED 1860-SOMETHING. DUDE, THAT'S OLD.
WE GOTTA GET THIS CHECKED OUT. - BUBBA AND RICKY, THOSE COUNTRY BOYS
ARE SMART. NEVER JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER. - THIS COULD BE REALLY,
REALLY SOMETHIN'. - SO, NOT BAD
FOR YOUR FIRST UNIT. - ROY DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHERE
TO TAKE SOMETHIN' LIKE THIS. SO WE'RE GONNA TAKE IT AND
GET IT APPRAISED FOR EVERYONE. GUYS, THIS IS THE DEAL.
- YEAH. - WE GONNA MAKE SOME MONEY.
- LET'S HOLD ONTO THAT. - SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT. JERRY AND I ARE BACK
TO THIS LOCKER THAT I JUST PAID $110 FOR. - MAN, I'M TIRED OF TOTIN'
THESE DAMN THINGS. - YOU KNOW WHAT,
I LIKE THIS UNIT. WE GOT A TABLE, HERE, WE'VE GOT
A COFFEE TABLE... ALL THIS STUFF IS WRAPPED,
AND IT'S WRAPPED NICE. AND WE GOT TOOLS HERE.
$20. LITTLE VANITY GIRL. OOH, LOOK. TOOLS. COOL. - I ALREADY TOLD MISS LESA'S
TOOLS IN HERE. - HERE'S ABOUT 15,
$20 RIGHT HERE. SO THERE'S PROBABLY ABOUT
30 BUCKS IN THIS BOX RIGHT HERE. [sighs] THAT'S INTERESTING. - WHAT'D YOU GET, LESA? - OH, MY GOD. - LESA HATES IT
WHEN I COME AROUND AND SHE'S GOIN'
THROUGH HER STUFF. JERRY. - LOOK,
IT'S FOR YOUR MOBIPAD. - SO, HOW'D THIS FURNITURE
TURN OUT TO BE THAT WAS ALL
WRAPPED UP IN HERE? - IT'S NOT BAD. - VICTOR IS JUST HERE TO SEE
WHAT HE MISSED OUT ON. 110 BUCKS, I DEFINITELY
TRIPLED--QUADRUPLED MY MONEY. JERRY WILL KNOW
WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS. - I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS. - WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
- UH-OH. - WHO GOES
THROUGH MY [bleep]? - OH, COME ON! COME ON! - I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO GOES THROUGH MY STUFF! - STOP IT, NOW. - THE HELL'S THAT? - WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
- UH-OH. - WHO GOES
THROUGH MY [bleep]? - OH, COME ON! COME ON! - I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO GOES THROUGH MY STUFF. - STOP IT, NOW. - WHAT THE HELL'S THAT? A PAINTBALL GUN. - DO YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH IT'S WORTH? 'CAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE.
I HAVE NONE. - SOME OF THESE THINGS ARE
THREE, AND FOUR, AND 500 BUCKS. - YOU KIDDING ME?
- IT'S IN A CASE-- IT'S IN A NICE CASE.
NO, REALLY. - GET IT OUTTA HIS HANDS.
- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY [bleep]. - NO, THEY MIGHT'VE
BURIED IT. I ACTUALLY KNOW THE PERFECT GUY
TO APPRAISE THIS THING. - MAYBE SOMEDAY WE CAN
GO OUT PAINTBALLING. YOU CAN SHOW ME HOW YOU SHOOT--
- I COULD GET TO SHOOT YOU? - NO, YOU CAN
SHOOT THE PAINTBALL. OH, HE'S GONNA
COME TO THIS APPRAISAL. I'M NOT GONNA PASS UP A CHANCE
TO SHOOT VICTOR IN THE ASS. - ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS.
- ALL RIGHT. PEACE OUT. THE HELL OUTTA HERE. LET'S PUT THIS
INTO THE TRUCK. - HELL, I'M JUST EXCITED
TO SEE THIS GUN PUT TOGETHER. - WE DID GOOD, JERRY.
WE DID REAL GOOD. - THEY GOTTA
KNOW SOMETHIN' HERE. - TODAY, BUBBA AND I ARE
AT THE TEXAS CIVIL WAR MUSEUM. - RAY RICHEY. GOOD TO SEE YA.
- BUBBA. NICE TO MEET YOU. - AND HOPEFULLY
WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT THE VALUE OF THAT STAR MEDAL
THAT WE FOUND IN THE LOCKER. - BACK TO THE TOP-SECRET AREA.
- UH-HUH. WHAT YOU HAVE
IS PART OF A MEDAL THAT WAS GIVEN
TO THE UNION ARMY VETERANS WHEN THEY JOINED
THE VETERAN'S ASSOCIATION CALLED THE GRAND ARMY
OF THE REPUBLIC. IT WAS ABOUT 1880
WHEN THEY STARTED. - IT'S PRETTY OLD, STILL. - THERE'S NOT NEAR THAT MANY
THAT HAVE SURVIVED. - IT'S 100 YEARS OLD,
NOT VERY MANY SURVIVED. THAT SOUNDS LIKE MONEY. - THIS MEDAL
ACTUALLY BELONGED TO THIS PARTICULAR SOLDIER
RIGHT HERE. COLONEL CHARLES HENRY BANES.
- MM-HMM. - NOW, IF YOU HAVE ONE
THAT'S IDENTIFIED, AND YOU HAVE
SOME HISTORY BEHIND IT, THESE THINGS COULD BE
VALUED UP TO $400. 'COURSE,
YOURS IS UNIDENTIFIED. YOU DON'T HAVE THE, UH--
THE RIBBON, YOU DON'T HAVE
THE EAGLE PIN ON IT. - I BET ROY THREW
THE REST OF IT AWAY WHEN HE WAS OGLING
THOSE NUDIE PICS. WITH THAT IN MIND,
WHAT WOULD YOU-- WHAT KIND OF A VALUE WOULD YOU
PUT ON THAT MEDAL? - UH... I THINK
IT MIGHT BE WORTH... MAYBE $25. - THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE
FROM 400, ISN'T IT? THAT'S THE DOLLAR MENU. IT SURE WOULDA BEEN NICE
TO HAVE THOSE OTHER PIECES, BUT THAT'S THE COST
OF TRAINING A ROOKIE. - YOU FIND SOMETHING ELSE,
BRING IT IN. OKAY, THAT'D BE GREAT. [medal clangs on floor]
- [bleep]! D'OH!
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. - $23. - ENJOY. - BEFORE I DUMPED MY LOCKER
ON THAT LOCAL LADY, I TOOK OUT
AN OLD INDIAN TOMAHAWK. HELLO, HELLO!
GOOD MORNIN'! NOW I'M AT WATERBIRD TRADERS
TO SEE IF IT'S WORTH ANYTHING. - WHY DON'T
WE COME IN HERE? - YOU GOT A LOTTA,
LOTTA STUFF HERE. - LOTTA STUFF. - I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING
I FOUND IN A STORAGE LOCKER. - M'KAY. IT'S A TOMAHAWK,
COMMONLY CALLED, OR A PIPE AXE. THE INDIANS--
THEY'D SMOKE IT FOR PLEASURE, THEY'D SMOKE IT
TO SEAL AN AGREEMENT OR A TREATY,
IF YOU WANNA CALL THAT, BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. OR MAYBE IN A, UH--
A WAR COUNCIL. - SO IT'S LIKE A HOOKAH WITH
AN ASSAULT RIFLE ATTACHED TO IT. - THIS IS A NICE PIECE, BUT IT'S A COMMERCIALLY MADE
DESIGNER PIECE. SOMETHING TO HANG ON THE WALL.
- MM. - THIS WOULD PROBABLY RETAIL
IN A CATALOG... FOR AROUND $150. - OKAY. STILL NOT BAD AT $150.
- NOT BAD. - I MADE $150 ON A LOCKER I WOUND UP DUMPING
ON SOMEBODY ELSE. THANK YOU, SIR. I WILL BE BACK.
- THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY. - I MADE A PROFIT, AND WOUND UP NOT HAVING
TO PROCESS A WHOLE LOCKER. I THINK THIS CALLS FOR
A CELEBRATION OF FINE TOBACCO. [sighs] - VICTOR WAS SO INTERESTED
IN THIS PAINTBALL GUN, HE HELPED ARRANGE
A MEETING FOR ME WITH THE OWNER
OF A LOCAL PAINTBALL STORE. YOU THINK IT'S--HOW MUCH DID
YOU SAY YOU THOUGHT IT WAS? - UH, I THINK IT'S PROBABLY
500 OR LESS. - I'M THINKIN'
IT'S $500 OR MORE. - REALLY?
SOUNDS LIKE A BET. - THE LOSER...
- UH-HUH. - GETS TWO MINUTES AS A TARGET.
- ALL RIGHT, I'M ON. - SO IT'S ON.
- OH, IT'S ON! HEY, JUDD. - HEY,
HOW ARE Y'ALL TODAY? - THESE ARE
MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS, UH, LESA AND JERRY. - THESE ITEMS
LOOK BRAND NEW. THIS IS CALLED
A DYE 4 GOGGLE. AND OBVIOUSLY THE GOGGLES
ARE TO PROTECT YOUR FACE WHEN YOU'RE
OUT THERE PLAYIN' PAINTBALL. - YOU'RE GONNA NEED THAT. - YOU GOT ANYTHING
TO PROTECT THE HAIR? - UH, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO PROTECT THE HAIR. - OKAY. - VICTOR'S WEARIN' ENOUGH GEL,
HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED A HELMET. - OH, WOW. THIS IS
A MOTORIZED LOADER. IT TAKES BATTERIES,
AND WHAT HAPPENS IS, UH, WHEN YOU PUT
THE PAINTBALLS IN THERE, IT HELPS FEED THE PAINTBALLS
INTO THE PAINTBALL GUN. THIS ONE FEEDS ON THE UPWARDS
OF 30 BALLS PER SECOND. PUT THE LOADER
ON THERE... THIS IS MORE
OF A PROFESSIONAL-LEVEL, SPECIALIZED, UH,
TYPE PAINTBALL GUN. WHERE YOU WOULD ONLY
GO TO A PRO SHOP AND PURCHASE
SOMETHIN' LIKE THIS. - POP, POP, POP, POP... [laughs] - I HAVE
AN AIR SYSTEM, HERE. SO LET'S AIR IT UP,
AND MAKE SURE IT DOES WORK. - IT'S DEFINITELY BROKEN. [fires]
- AAH! AH, AH, AH! - PAY UP. - DID YOU HEAR THAT? HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS? - UH, I THINK IT'S
PROBABLY 500 OR LESS. - I'M THINKIN'
IT'S $500 OR MORE. - REALLY?
SOUNDS LIKE A BET. - IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING,
WHAT DID YOU PAY FOR IT? - UH, $110. - WELL, I'D BE WILLIN'
TO GIVE YOU RIGHT AROUND $1,900. - HOLY--BAM, YEAH! [laughs] - I'M GONNA ENJOY
WATCHIN' MR. FANCY-PANTS GET HIS ASS WHUPPED. - YOU GOT PINK ONES? - UH, YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE
PINK PAINTBALLS AS WELL. - DO WE HAVE PINK ONES HERE SO
I CAN SHOOT VICTOR WITH THOSE? - [laughs] - ON TOP OF BEATIN' VICTOR
AT THE AUCTIONS, I'M LITERALLY GETTING TO
KNOCK HIM ON HIS ASS WITH PINK PAINTBALLS. THAT'S A PERFECT DAY
FOR MISS LESA. - OH, MAN! - THE FORT WORTH WINNER
WAS LESA LEWIS, MAKING 2,000 BUCKS
ON HER PAINTBALL UNIT. VICTOR'S HOOKAH-BAZOOKA
TOMAHAWK MADE HIM $160 PROFIT. AND, RICKY, BUBBA, AND ROY
BUSTED ON THEIR CIVIL WAR MEDAL, SPLITTING A $200 LOSS
THREE WAYS. - OOH, LOOKIT THAT.
RIGHT THERE. - AAH! [screaming] - [laughs] - HEY, YOU'RE COUNTIN'
TWO MINUTES, MAN! - [firing] - AAH! YOU GOT ME! - [firing] - AAH! - HA! GOT 'IM! - OH! AAH! - DROP IT! - YOU SHOT MY ASS!
