Stop! This Is the Police! (2 Hour Reddit Compilation)

police over it what dumb call turned serious very quickly not me but my dad who was a cop and is still a firefighter had one that i still laugh at he was working a shift on the police department back in the early to mid 80s and got a call late one night for smoke showing from a residence his assistant chief shows up first i should preface by saying he was a fat and lazy freaking didn't properly check and radio dispatch that there wasn't smoke showing and to disregard the fire department my dad shows up and his ac tells him that it was a false alarm and my said he was going to check anyway he said he smelled smoke as he got out of his cruiser and said he was going to check for himself he opens the backyard fence and down the small hill to the back as he walked to the back of the house he saw smoke pouring out of the saffits and saw flames in the back windows he radios dispatch to have the fire department remain enroute and that smoke and flames visible and then asks for mutual aid from a neighboring department fire department shows up and was able to knock down the fire before it got too out of hand besides some serious smoke damage but the house was eventually refinished and still stands to this day not a cop i'm a nurse but i was a vet tech at this time i went to our main clinic for a beating which was next to a liquor store watched a guy get out of his car staggering all over the place we just thought he was just another drunk getting more juice then he collapsed on the ground my co-workers ran over to him and immediately started cpr turned out he had been sober for a year but had felt bad all day he decided he had enough of feeling bad and was going to get a drink turned out he felt bad because he had had a heart attack and was in heart failure he didn't make it that's so sad not a police officer but have a story once my dad was dating this woman who had a teenage son the kid did not like my dad at all one day dad and his girlfriend got into a fight and my dad slept in the garage he woke up to her son and two of his friends holding baseball bats around him the kids beat up my dad and ran off my dad called the police to report the incident but when the cops realized who my dad was they arrested my dad on the spot for not paying child support to my mom tl dr my dad called the cops on his girlfriend's son ended up getting arrested what happened to the child not a cop but i guarantee the ones involved remember this one they were originally there to arrest a guy selling drugs on campus they passed me in the stairwell on their way up while i was going to borrow some notes from a classmate a few minutes go by and i'm back in the stairwell and get passed by the same cops on their way down and moving quick turns out they handcuffed the guy sat him down did god only knows what while homeboy superman out the window head first from the 11th floor so that was an interesting day he lived and he's somehow not a vegetable to be fair he's a vegetable for jumping out of the 11th floor in the first place not a cop but as a mcds worker we called 9-1-1 on a group of teams who came in drunk and unruly we called because one of them was a little more drunk and tipsy and sat down put his head down and passed out his friends thought his was hilarious cops showed up with a smirk at first figuring it was just [ __ ] teens when they poured a little cold water on mr passed out and he did not flinch they stopped smiling when they looked at his medic alert bracelet they got real serious paramedics came and worked in the kid he survived but nearly died he was diabetic and suffering alcohol poisoning his blood sugar was way off cops said he would have died if we did not call them seeing the cops go from smirks to sirius like that was scary it also gave those two cops a story to tell other leos about not assuming anything but those two cops look for medical alert bracelets first now not me but my dad also wasn't a police officer at the time but a constable he was going to a guy's house to serve him a summons as his usual and routine he got there and went up to the house and the guy answered as he was talking to him and serving him the summons the guy pulled out a gun my dad pulled out his and told him to drop the gun instead the guy then turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger blowing his own brains out my dad was a cop before this though so it wasn't the first time seeing something like this city cop here i was driving to a call for service and saw a vehicle that was stopped in opposite lanes of traffic there were about seven vehicles stopped behind it but a green light was i for the stopped car i made a u-turn at the next intersections and went back to the stopped car i approached the passenger side on foot and i saw an elderly driver alone in the driver's seat she wasn't responding at all to me from outside the vehicle she was just looking straight ahead with two hands on the wheel with the car in gear i wake to the driver's side and saw that she had a gash in the left side of her head about four inches long and so deep i could see her skull blood was running down her face and neck pooling in her lap i smashed the back window to get access to the shifter and out the car in park then called for medics as they were enroute she started having a seizure i had to keep her wound closed neck in a neutral position and make sure her tongue wasn't getting bit off the medics showed up so i left the scene and went to her house check the plate registration for the address as it was right around the corner i show up there and interrupt a burglary in progress two me head buttholes apparently thought they could get away with a home invasion by knocking out the old bird and taking their time they didn't figure her to be tough enough to get up and flee her house when they were upstairs after all this i learned she had terminal cancer and was near death anyways but we at least got a couple lower criminals off the street not a cop but i witnessed the event i was at a mcdonald's with a friend and we were sitting down eating when a lady with a cinder block came in she sat behind a family at a booth with a cinder block on the table an employee came over and asked her to remove the cinder block from the table and she refused the employee must have called the police because they showed up like two minutes after she was standing next to the table and was calm but refused to get the block off the table the family sitting behind them got up and went to leave because the situation was a little much when their maybe four-year-old kid jumped out of the booth first the lady quickly grabbed the cinder block and swung it over her head and tried to smash it on the kid somehow she missed and it crumbled on the ground and the dad and the cop flew in and pinned her to the floor she got arrested of course but everyone was clearly upset if that lady hadn't missed it could have been really bad the family was upset and everyone in the restaurant were asking them if they were okay moral of the story don't go to mcdonald's not a leo but i work ems we had a lift assist for an old lady that needed help standing turn into a cpr call one of our guys responded with our utility first responder vehicle because the caller in dispatch reported no injury just someone who needed help standing well 10 minutes later he marks on scene then another minute later we hear cpr in progress over the radio and hear him call for assistance was on my coach officer phase and responded to a call where one of our repeat customers was involved the individual in question usually called us to resolve nonsensical issues with his neighbors it was usually entertaining to go to his calls just because of the sheer hilarity and stupidity of it all well one time during a boring shift where pretty much nothing happened my coach officer and i along with pretty much the entire sector responded pretty much the entire shift in our division congregated there since we all know it was going to be a fun one it well my ceo starts talking to him hey boss what's up and this individual who we'll call vlad not his name starts explaining the situation my neighbors at it again he keeps looking at me through his window all scared like i didn't do anything to him yet but i'll claim that but eventually and the conversation keeps going eventually my coach officer at the time asks him about his other neighbor so boss man how's bob fake name again treating you oh you don't need to worry about him anymore he ain't gonna bother anyone anymore know what i mean oh yeah why is that and so we're expecting some hilarious reply you can see us grinning from here to here waiting for comedic gold then vlad replies cause i killed him i done slit his throat he tried to take my veggies as you can imagine we went from grinning to bursting out of laughter my ceo didn't laugh at that point we all took the hint my coach officer was a 10-year vet and a wartime cop who knew his crap if he thought something was up so did we vlad then showed us the body of bob which had been decomposing for a few days arrested immediately and charged he didn't even go to court he got off and was put into a mental health facility for the criminally insane kind of like a sanatorium asylum guy turned out to be schizophrenic moral of the story if a schizophrenic dude tells you he murdered somebody chances are he did p.s for all of you americans a coach officer is an fto we're just fancy with our words up north skis are usually non-violent but there are those who are dangerous just thought i'd put it out there since there's this idea of them being dangerous a friend i worked with went out on a loose livestock call and god ran over and hospitalized by said livestock acker a cow cows can be very very dangerous barking dog into a shooting call drug deal gone bad soliciting call into a suicide by police attempted by charging us with a knife a disabled vehicle into a fatal crash trying to go to the bathroom and a burglary in progress call goes out in my area noise complaint about a neighbor call neighbor shot himself drunk belligerent uber passenger he had a warrant for multiple murders my fav burglary in progress at night bad guy on scene get there go to clear the house find the bad guy who nearly scared me shitless almost dumped a mp5 mag into him turned out to be cardboard cutout homeowners drunk friends thought it would be a good prank bond james bond with the gun pointing pose i laughed after i could feel my heart beat again i forget a lot off top my head had a call for a disabled vehicle broken down car got there car was in gear with parking brake on nobody in the car turned from a hay do you need a tow truck to a missing person case we found the guy a few hours later safely not a cop but my friend's dad responded to a call about a guy who was yelling anti-semitic phrases at people when his dad got there the man went postal and peed on him not the best way to spend at 2am i worked in a rural area there was a local woman who would always call she used to be a nurse but ended up going sort of crazy using em and just becoming a deplorable piece of trash she would frequently call and report some bs burglary or life problem that she usually brought upon herself by her drug use and her friend's choices one night a friend of her called and reported he was at her shack and she was lying on the ground rolling around and acting weird i figured she got high and was acting weird myself and another deputy arrived and found the victim lying on the ground mumbling and saying she was hurt while the guy who called what calmly standing there and smoking a cigarette and saying he didn't know what happened he showed up and found her on the ground and called we didn't think anything occurred other than her getting high and having some type of episode my partner checked her out just to cover our bases and we discovered she had been shot seven times with a .22 turns out she got into it with her parolee neighbor and he took a point two two and unloaded on her she lived and he got 70 years in canada czech well-being call from neighbor of two early twenties longshoremen she'd heard them yelling and screaming on and off throughout the night and what sounded like glass breaking then silence i get there guy opens the door apologizes says he and the roommate were playing cod in their separate rooms and were just really into the games he hadn't heard the breaking glass and his buddy in the other room had been afk for a while he assumed he was getting high or whatever go to another guy's room knock don't hear anything announce that it's the police doing a wellness check nothing open the door and the guy is dead on the ground meatball sub in hand some of his stomach fluid has come out his nose and ran up over his eyes and it's all burned from the stomach acid i'd had a few noise complaints from neighbors about these two in the past so was expecting more bylaw definitely not a sudden death there are a lot of mentions further down about the watches necklaces older people where that will automatically call for help and they sound like a good idea my mum has a button she can push if she needs help wears it around her neck she has fallen several times but doesn't want to be a bother to anyone i work with elderly people and they say this every time not a cop nor did i see this but heard about it so apparently this random guy just walks up to my neighbor's house alabama and knocks on the door as soon as someone answers the door the guy shoots him dead then the dead guy's wife fights off the gunman until the police arrive apparently this dude knew the wife from therapy she was a therapist and was trying to kill her but instead shot the husband because he answered the door first it was some pretty scary stuff my dad ended up having to sew the wife up at the hospital freaking heck i bet she wasn't doing therapy much more after that not a police officer but something i witnessed and may or may not have had something to do with it me and my friends were just chilling at my house playing call of duty and halo this was 2010 i have very noisy neighbors well we thought we would play a prank on the bike calling the cops on them and hope that might shut them up well when we did we said that we think they have been using and selling drugs when the cops arrived like 30 minutes later they busted down the door we heard gunfire this soon turned into a gun fight my neighbor was apparently running his own drug cartel they had to call back up and everything i wonder what would have happened if me and my friends had not called the cops you were a piece of crap for doing that as a prank and just lucky that there happened to be something going on there i hope you stopped doing that because if you didn't your piece of crap people have died over cops being sent to someone's house who has done nothing not a cop but when i was a kid i needed to use the bathroom at walmart located in the back behind the tech area i was using a stall when a guy entered the stall next to me being a bored kid i noticed he had bright distinct red shoes some time passes and i start to hear paper being torn but thick paper like a cardboard box this dude drops a whole pair of headphones onto the ground curses and picks them up he then tries flushing all the evidence of the box down the toilet and shockingly most of it went down industrial grade he then left the bathroom trying to act normal i wait a few seconds and then wash up and peek outside the door no luck i walk out and look around still nothing i then remembered the shoes bingo i see him walking towards the middle of the store i walked up to a customer service lady middle-aged indian woman and tell her this dude was sharp lifting a pair of headphones she gets the whole story and calls security they then have undercover guys watch him as they can't do anything until he exits the store i walk off to go find my family this guy runs an aisle and grabs me by my shirt and pushes me against the shelf hey what did you say to that lady over there redditors i should have won an oscar oh me and her kid go to school together etc he bought it he lets me go and walks off a few minutes later he gets dragged inside by security and taken to the back office needless to say i never went back to that store again you should have only gone back to that store he was no doubt banned it's the only place you'd be safe hospital security here right as i clock in there is a call to escort a patient the behavioral unit fairly run-of-the-mill stuff but when i get to the floor the patient is just wandering around with the sitter following normally baker act patients are confined to their room until they go to the behavioral unit when i get there i ask her to stay in her room until the nurse can grab a wheelchair so we can go she started yelling about how she had to go to get her kids the nurse arrives with a wheelchair and she just absolutely refuses to go near it by this time she's been yelling for a good 10 minutes now so the nurses call for help and in our case that includes the local pd so last shift supervisor my supervisor and our pd officer show up and the crap really hits the fan we tell her that she can get in the wheelchair nicely or we can put her in the wheelchair after we put her in the wheelchair she also got some hal doll that doesn't do a dang thing she's still clawing at the furniture trying to get out of the wheelchair we put her back into the bed because she to be having a panic attack and backed off a little she starts screaming that we never gave her time to calm down and just immediately stuck her with a needle believe me i would kill for a dart gun with some jihad and solve 80 percent of my problems as the ed says this is my friend g and you'll sleep till dawn so we wheel her down the hallway holding her down on the bed when we get her to the intake room she's super rude to the behavioral nurses and when she gets shown her room and is told that she'll have a roommate she tells us all to frick off and she'll sleep in the hallway three more escorts that night were problems too officer i met once opened with going to a crazy house party and shaming a bunch of drinking teens the story takes a hard turn when someone pulls a gun and his partner gets murdered obligatory not cop but friend of a guy whose dad is a cop it was actually the reverse it started seriously but ended hilariously he went to go bust some drug ring who knows what he was going to find instead he found a homeless dude with a syringe he said you shouldn't inject yourself with syringes off the ground you could get a disease to which the homeless dude responded you see to me diseases are like pokemon gotta catch em all that got a snort out of me not a cop but sometimes when i pass a cop i try to slow down to the speed limit without hitting the brakes so they don't see the lights i think everyone does this tldr ride along went south and almost ended in a shooting not a leo but trying to become one i was doing a ride along and we stopped a vehicle for going 67 and a 45 it was around 1am i pop my door and watch as my officer walks up to the driver window they talk very briefly and the officer walks back to me so he's suspended knows he's suspended and the car is a rental that i sense in his name so i am going to give him a ticket for the speed a ticket for the suspension and impound the vehicle call 414 another unit officer i know and ask her to come out because he is gonna be p ok sick so i call 414 she shows up and asks about what's going on and about the guy's history etc she then posts up on the rentals right hand tail light i sit on the push bar and the driver gets out of the car and walks to the trunk he needed to grab his stuff he was super apologetic and nice since it was a cold night we were gonna let him sit in our car until his ride showed up so to set the scene my officer on the left tail light me on the pusher driver at the trunk and the female officer on the right tail light driver pops the trunk and just kinda stares into it he then picks up a jacket and the female officer screams gun gun gun and draws on him my officer does as well so i am frozen in fear as i am in some major crossfire i got back into cover as they ordered him to back up my officer reaches in and secures the gun he walks over to me and tries to clear it it won't clear turns out it was an airsoft gun but for a brief second i thought that i was gonna catch a few extra holes lol police officers have read it what criminal actually impressed you with their criminal skills we get a call reporting that the phone system of a major uk bank has been hacked and that the caller has had several thousand pounds stolen from their account as a result seems unlikely but officers went round to see what had happened obviously the bank system was fine but scammers had done something fairly clever turns out that there is a way in the uk of keeping a phone line open when only the recipient hangs up the scammers called the victim and pretended to be from the bank before asking for account details the victim was suspicious so hung up and called the bank back at their real telephone number however the scammers held the line open and played a dire tone down the line so the victim thought that she was making a new call then they played a ring sample before a new scammer answered the call and took the details pretending to be the bank i've heard of it a few times since in the press but the first time i came across it was on duty and no one had any idea what was going on a lot of times people don't listen before darling anymore especially if their phone is one where you put the number in before pressing green call button you can always hold the line open on landlines in uk this way which is why it is sensible to call verification numbers on your mobile while the company is still on the phone once had a guy who shoplifted on an industrial scale he stole hundreds and sometimes thousands of pounds worth of merchandise from a particular well-known high street clothing store every day he'd go to different branches all over the country uk obviously he spoke nicely and was smartly dressed he just used to fill up bags with high value products and walk out he had a warehouse type unit somewhere police never found it with his own till because he would generate till receipts for these items and go back to return them at a different branch and get cash refunds he was at it for years made enough to put his kid through private school when he got caught he was jailed for about a year our shoplifting sentencing guidelines are absurdly low when he came out he got back on it police still couldn't find his base he was being investigated and was on bail one occasion when he answered his bail at the police station the police had a six-man surveillance team ready to tail him and track down the warehouse he was using he lost them within two minutes of leaving the station when he came for trial based on the cctv evidence we had from the various shops the case got thrown out the footage wasn't good enough to make out his features exactly and the officer who purported to identify him hadn't followed procedures after he was thus acquitted he was due to be investigated for some other matters but he gave the police and security the slip from the court before he could be arrested even i was impressed and i was prosecuting him dad had the street smarts to get his kids the book smarts don't be like daddy kids get a good job and watch out for men like daddy i love you i am a police officer but the story is actually from my dad who was a lawyer he had a couple of guys who had scratch built an atm this would have been back in the eighties before the days of skimmers and cameras to clone cards so they built their own atm and installed it in a wall on a public street in order to collect card details to use later on i don't know if it actually dispensed money i'm guessing it just showed an error message he told me that very occasionally he had come across criminals who had worked so hard for their spoils that he felt they had kind of earned them these guys were his example he was also confused that two people smart enough to do this chose not to make an honest living i'm not a police officer but know some guys who are best one i heard was a guy who would drill a tiny hole beside a window to open the latch he would then enter at night and go straight to the front door and open it so he could make a quick exit if needed if he couldn't open a door he would leave again immediately he stole stuff then closed the window and locked the door behind him most people had no idea they had been robbed he took wallets off bedside desks while people slept beside them or sometimes just took some cash and cards but left the wallet when he got caught he was making a plea deal so it was in his interest to admit all crimes so he couldn't later be prosecuted again for them he took police round dozens of houses and each had a tiny drill hole and every house owner thought they had lost wallets and credit cards never knowing they had been burgled stupidest one a kid broke into his school at night and stole 10 laptops it was snowing that night police came when the alarm went off and there was one set of footprints in the snow that led them from the school the whole way to the kid's front door stupidest one a kid broke into his school at night and stole 10 laptops it was snowing that night police came when the alarm went off and there was one set of footprints in the snow that led them from the school the whole way to the kid's front door would love to see his expression when the police showed up at his door when i was a rookie i got a call at 3am one night about a hold up alarm going off at an atm i respond and don't really take the call that seriously at first because i'm thinking no way a hold up alarm is being triggered at three in the morning i get there and start checking the bank when i see a guy walking through the drive through stupid me strolls over and calmly says hey man come over here and talk to me for a minute he bolts and i take off after him only to realize i left my hand held in my car i run back and call it in and my partner shows up shortly after well we can't find the guy and start looking around the guy spray painted the atm camera and he drive through camera which set off the alarm about an hour later i see a vehicle with out of state tags driving slowly through the drive-through and after running the plate he has fictitious tags we search the vehicle and can find absolutely nothing but a very long tree branch in the back of the suv we write him for fictitious tags and send him on his way for my sergeant the next day my investigator gets a call from the fbi because they had this guy's name flagged and saw where we ran him he had been hit on atms in texas louisiana arkansas and tennessee we were the first department that actually came in contact with him he would spray paint the cameras or use a tree branch to turn high cameras away after the alarms go off he would wait nearby for police to leave he would then come back and saw the hinges off the atms and take the money he stole approximately 150 000 over a six-month period he was caught a few weeks later by a guy i went to the academy with hatton garden heist is my favorite huge water cooled drill 50 centimeters of concrete all dressed as builders safety deposit boxes totalling 14 million pounds were robbed and they rolled them out wearing overalls in wheelie bins a proper movie worthy heist they were pretty much all old boys as well they were using their own bus passes to get to the heist not a cop but a cop told me about this evidently there were these two twin brothers big tall muscular fellows their scam was ingenious both brothers would go into home depot separately and each begin shopping filling up his cart with high value stuff each filling up his cart with identical items the first brother would go to the cashier and legally pay for his purchases he'd show his receipt at the door and take his purchases out of the store the second brother would hang around the entrance far enough from the exit not to arouse suspicion the first brother would take his car to the entrance and give the receipt to the second brother first dude then takes his purchases to load up in their vehicle second brother then takes the cart full of items plus receipt back to the returns counter and says he changed his mind and wants his money back home depot would refund the purchases dude basically just sold home depot their own items evidently they pulled this trick off and on for years before someone caught on cop said they probably would have kept on getting away with it for years if they hadn't hit the same store so often i was an mp at fort carson the young man was in the service for two years before a dishonorable discharge sending him back home to pennsylvania when he got home he used his uniform to get discounts and praise one day he decided to hop on a plane to colorado he arrives in full uniform but with lieutenant rank on gets off the plane and uses the government transportation to get on base he doesn't have an id but crappy as an officer so they let him on then he stayed at the improcessing barracks without paperwork because heck he is an officer stays there for weeks he goes walking to the px and comes across a woman with a flat tire he helps her change it out and she invites him over for dinner there he meets her husband and their kids then convinces them that he is waiting for housing and they let him live with them for a month he cleans the house and babysits the kids one time he went to this guy's unit and shoot a supply sergeant out to help the guy he was living with the only reason this came to light is because of one phone call he made to his mother from the in-processing barracks she became worried about him and called them his mother let the people know he was not in the military after that the search began i was an mpi and got to pick him up he gave me a straightforward statement and was genuinely nice i just remember sitting on the office couch with him watching tv waiting for him to get transferred from my custody i told him that i was genuinely impressed and that after whatever happens to him happens that he could get it together and do well he wasn't the brightest kid but dang he had balls i guess that is what it really takes i act like you belong this guy in high school we'll call him luis was a known drug dealer he didn't make it a secret everyone bought weed and harder stuff off of him the cops constantly pulled him over to search him and whenever a drug-related thing happened at school he was often the first kid they pulled into the principal's office but they would never catch him with any drugs the principal used to turn all of his possessions inside out on a weekly basis apparently schools can do that but cops can't they regularly cut locks off his gym locker and his regular locker in hopes of finding his stash but they never found it one time there was a rumor going around that his stash was stored in a locker not assigned to anyone which prompted the administration to search every single locker in the school i remember we had to stand in the hallway and unlock it so the principal could have a look inside they definitely caught people with drugs but not the luis turns out he started that rumor drug dogs were a regular occurrence once a month they brought them into the school and they were present at every sports game luis was one of the only if not the sole supplier for the whole school the administration had no idea what to do they would catch kids with weed and the kids would flat out say i bought this from luis luis would encourage them to say it they would then flip louise crap inside out cops would search his car and he consented to all of it and laughed when they found nothing but this was probably close to 15 years ago now the vice principal loves to tell the story about how they eventually caught him vp's younger son asked for these shoes for christmas that had a secret compartment in them light bulbs go off in his head the first day back after holiday break he calls the school's dare officer and pulls luis out of class they bring him into two office and flip all of his crap out on the table then the vp tells him to take his shoes off turns out his hunch was right he had hidden compartments in his shoes but there were no drugs in there i guess luis is laughing his butt off at this point this was pre everyone owned a cell phone era luis has the audacity to explain that he hasn't seen any of his classmates for three weeks he had not taken any orders yet had the vp waited a day he would have caught him sounds almost like lewis was actually acting as a distraction for the person who actually sold drugs to the school had a guy when i first started with twist locks the art of twisting a lock works mainly in businesses that secure their double front doors using a deadbolt style lock he would use a tool to twist this lock and in turn open the doors guy probably got away with 25 businesses before he was finally busted he later said his style of braking and entering worked so well because the alarm systems have a set delay when opening a business say 30 seconds given the glass wasn't broke or large movements were observed by the system it would act as if the store we're opening and give the employee time to reset the alarm those 30s were plenty for him to get in get to the register and leave x cop australia three guys rolled up to construction site in the cbd and stole all the giant rolls of copper wire that drove up with high this ppe gear on and told the project manager he'd been delivered the wrong gauge i guess he workers helped them load it and they left it would be freaking hilarious if they got the pm to sign for it too a fire marshal once told me about his nemesis a fire bug naturally apparently the arsonist had a thing for burning old barns never a building that was a news always an old abandoned one anyway his modus operandi was to take a balloon filled with accelerant like gasoline or kerosene and suspend it by a string at 20 ft plus off the ground under the balloon he'd light a candle and start the balloon swinging on a long arc he'd have a good 20 plus minutes before the arc of the swing slowed enough that the candle would ignite the balloon the balloon ignites the accelerant is spread evenly across all surfaces in the balloon string and candle disappear in the fire it was like the entire interior of the structure caught fire at the same time with no trace as to how he said it was dang near the perfect crime until some cop happens to notice a car parked in a field a mile away and thinks to jot down the license plate number one of the guys i know escaped from a new prison by climbing the fence he was always great at climbing things he would get to the tops of pine trees no trouble when he was running from the police helicopter he had underneath a shed with hay bales inside it this gave off a heat signal so they couldn't pick up where he was he walked round the same loop this was to make the dog handlers think the dog had got onto a force positive he was found hiding in someone's cupboard eating their food about two weeks after escaping from prison i locked up a guy a few years ago and he had an unusual crime on his criminal history theft of an atm i asked him about it and he told me he was with four others and they all turned up at a local bank and overalls with a large truck they asked for the manager and told him we're here to repair the atm the manager helped them load the atm onto the truck full of cash and they drove away he got snapped when his girlfriend got mad and turned him in i would love to know how many crimes get committed because the people are dressed for the job and get off scot-free smartest criminal suspect would go door-to-door saying he was with publishers clearing house he would tell people they were one of several finalists he then explained he would need their name date of birth and social security number to verify who they were after that he would ask what hours they weren't home so they could ensure if the victim won the prize they would be home naturally he would break into their homes when they weren't home and steal all their valuables to top it off he would steal their identity and open a bunch of credit card payday loans and their names afterwards after over 50 cases i finally caught the guy made off with over a half million dollars in three months before he was caught dumbest criminal suspect was robbing a gas station late at night suspect pointed a gun at the cashier demanding money the cashier was surrounded by plexiglass all around cashier refused to give suspect the money and hit the panic alarm which locked the door suspect was angry and fired a shot at the cashier the bullet ricocheted off the plexiglass and struck him in the forehead the bullet knocked him unconscious but didn't penetrate the skull as i arrived the bullet was still protruding from his forehead and he was knocked out he got 99 years for his stupidity the best part was the cash register only had 60 dollars in it not a cop nor the criminal but in the blue mountains of nsw australia my now deceased uncle went on a string of armed robberies where he would run into a store with a gun then shove the attendant against the wall and super glue their hands to the wall before stealing the money in the cash register he had no intentions of using the gun and it was actually never loaded he just thought it would be funny to glue people to the wall and steal their crap thought it would be funny to glue people to the wall and steal their crap this is fantastically australian although no skill was really involved i arrested a kid for stealing a car he confessed and told me that he'd be straight up with me he was walking through a parking lot and saw a lady drop her car keys and keep walking he said that her fault for not paying attention grabbed the keys and took off in her car he lamented that he knew he'd get stopped eventually but didn't think we'd stop him so quickly when i asked if he had a driver's license he smiled and said he was planning to take the car he stole to the dmv so he could take his driving test we both had a good laugh at that he said i ruined his plans not a cop or a criminal heard this one from a guy who was trying to turn his life around at college after a drug addiction and being in and out of prison him and a friend of his would go into supermarkets or electronic stores and one of them would pocket something small then walk out the door to set the alarm off and get security to search him as he kicks up a huge fuss about it whilst the alarm is going off and first guy is being searched and causing a scene second guy would walk straight out with a trolley loaded with expensive stuff and nobody would bat an eyelid not police but i was watching back the cctv footage one day when i was bored at work in a retail store a guy walked in picked up a 42 inches tv and walked straight back out again with it and put it in his car he returned another four times each time to pick another tv off display without any of the sales staff on the shop floor noticing walked straight past them calm as anything wandering through the store with top of the range tvs worth a lot of money at the time i believe he got caught in another shop just down the road doing the same thing not a police officer but i think this counts had a call to the it help desk from the department of the company i was working at asking when are the new computers going to arrive this caused some consolation as we didn't know what they were talking about but it wasn't an order that had gone missing as much as the entire department's computers someone had in broad daylight rocked up in a transit van done a masterful piece of blogging and convinced everyone security included that this was part of it's rolling hardware update program so they loaded their old computers in the van and he said he'd be back soon with the new ones ricky and julian would be proud was not involved in this case but was something we learned about two employees of a soccer betting company colluded to rig odds and make big money one would be in the office rigging the odds of the purchase ticket and the other would be in person purchasing the ticket at the moment the odds were tweaked they would always buy both sides to pay out three one so that whatever the result they would win an estimated one portion which is in excess this was possible because of an option to allow no draws with the effect that the better will get back his capital therefore if a draw rose it would simply result in them getting their monies back to avoid detection they made sure that their potential winning was always below the statutory minimum which required winners identification to be recorded they also made sure to go to different outlets when making the purchases however their grand scheme was eventually foiled not by their own mistake but by a busybody before them in the queue the said customer had some issues with buying his ticket and eventually wrote him to make a complaint upon investigating the tapes from the outlet where the complaint came from the company realized that their employee was making a purchase in their own outlets which was clearly prohibited this then led the company on a chain of inquiry which eventually led to a hefty jail term and fine for both of the criminals involved no criminal skill per se but i thought i'd contribute this story as it was quite impressive used to work with law enforcement and during a friday night the guy on pcp managed to shut down a major roadway during a foot pursuit this guy ended up taking several shots from a nine millimeter and a shotgun shell and then wriggled out of the grasp of several officers trying to subdue him and get into a police car and drive off with it he only managed to get about 10 feet before crashing into a cement barrier and knocking himself unconscious the guy ended up living too pcp is a heck of a drug not a cop but while in school to be a firefighter we were studying how to identify points of origin where and how a fire starts off fires and earned about this fire investigator that wrote books on arson he was pretty well known for being able to find the points of origin he helped solve hundreds of fires but was unable to find the arsonist and many of the fires were started in crazy and bizarre ways after many many years of following these fires writing books making lots of money and always being so quick to find the methods used another investigator questioned how he was never able to catch the person starting them turns out he was the one starting them all once the coke machine at our school started spewing out extra cans i took about 10 of them and i was never caught take that scotland yard the real master criminal is the dentist dad worked in corrections and they used to give the cons nicotine patches to try and discourage smoking while some of the cons didn't care much for the patches so they mack jibbered their own cigarettes they extracted the nicotine from the patches absorbed it with i think dried orange peel broke it down so it resembled tobacco and rolled it so not only is this a super concentrated cigarette but it burned super fast orange oil so they got this intense rush of nicotine this happened a few years before i worked there but the home depot in my town was full on ocean's 11 ed it was an inside job but no one was charged since they couldn't figure out who did it they hide in the store until after close then they started grabbing everything worth its weight they used a lift truck to pry open the receiving doors and parked a private semi in the bay and loaded it up they knew where the safe was next to the receiving area but it was locked down well and they knew that so they took the lift truck and crashed it through the wall that separated it from receiving and stole the safe they drove off with at least half a million in loot home depot is filled with silent alarms and the like not a single one went off put themselves in minimal sight of the security cameras they knew the store really well management opened the next morning in disbelief our local ikea was broken into some years back in broad daylight while the store was open a works vehicle pulled up next to the external wall of the safe room two guys in hard hats and high-vis jackets then proceeded to knock a hole in the wall there weren't any external cameras or sensors one guy reaches in and turns the security camera away from the hole the safe had a pipe feeding into it from the top as all the cash was carried there by a vacuum tube system they cut a section of pipe away to leave a hole in the top of the safe and then used a grabbing tool to get as many of the pods as he could approx 160 000 pounds was taken and they've never been caught now the safe has a thick metal collar around it a camera opposite and sensors in the walls ikea made sure everyone knew the changes had been made to put off anyone trying again not a police officer but a police dispatcher here we had a theft from a gas station recently the thieves arrived after closing time with a large tank on a trailer pulled by a large truck they proceeded to hack into the gas pump by an unknown method and change the price to dollars and one cent per gallon and steal one thousand gallons of gas i'm impressed redditors who have outrun cops how do you do it worked late at a store when i was 20 something when i left i went tearing up the road behind the store it was curvy and it was after midnight thus no traffic i had a sporty car and was banging through gears as fast as i could it was a lot of fun unbeknownst to me there was a sheriff's squad car sitting at a bank drive-through under the awning didn't see him until i passed him and it was too late so i just kept the throttle mashed and raced up the road at the time i was living in an apartment complex only about one stroke four up the road from where i passed the cop i glanced in my mirror and noticed the squad coming up the road after me but without emergency lights on i had a really good lead on him i turn into the drive for my apartment complex and hit the button for the underground parking garage door opens i scoot inside and park then watch as the door closes all the way the best part i get out of my car and walk into the lobby through the glass doors i see the sheriff's squad the entryway is locked you have to buzz to get in there are about 50 apartments and my car is underground he was never close enough to get my plate there's almost zero way this cop can figure out who i am or what specific apartment i live in so i waved to him and smiled the look of frustration and defeat on his face was priceless elevator door opened and for all practical purposes i disappeared before his eyes when i was in the air force i lived on base at february in cheyenne it's pretty common for a highway patrolman to sit at theon ram nearest the base so me and my friend would race from that ramp to the front gate of the base less than two miles since we were both mps we'd know the guard at the gate and get waved on without any check when the highway patrol got to the gate they'd have to show it and explain why they wanted on base as well as be told by the guard they didn't know who just came through this was around 2008 to 2011-ish much younger and dumber than relatively small downtown area was coming into town in a 45 mile per hour area and the cop was coming the other way directly at me i was probably doing about 20 miles per hour over the limit and he lit my butt up with a radar gun he passed me and i saw him turn around in my rear view mirror and flick on the lights generally i would never run but i was 18 and was one speeding ticket away from losing my license on points i gunned it got into town and just weaved through a bunch of side streets until i was pretty sure i lost him here's the kicker i'm pretty sure i lost him and now i need to get onto the main highway quickly i'm sitting at a red light why i got for the light to turn and guess who goes right through the intersection in front of me it was 1am or so so not many cars on the road my headlights went right into his car as he went in front of me enough that i could clearly see the guy 18 year old me crap a brick cop kept going and i gunned it to get onto the highway my one and only cop story in eighth grade my friend and i were both crammed on one of those electric razor scooters heading home and some lady started yelling at us my friend slowed us down to hear what she was saying apparently she was giving us a heads up on a cop that was a block away we got off the scooter walked past the cop and went on our way tldr avoided confrontation altogether senior year of high school the night before halloween my friend dressed as a banana and i dressed as a gorilla i was going to chase him around campus during school on halloween so we decided to go for a quick test run around the neighborhood late at night we ran around and the banana costume we made was holding up real nicely we saw a car turning around at a cul-de-sac so we decided to run past it and see the driver's reaction about 20 feet away from it we realized it was a cop car we were outpass curfew and cops really do nab you for it here so we stop in our tracks and book it for the nearest park cop follows my friend a cross-country runner took off ahead of me in his banana suit far into the park into a trail deep into the neighborhood i a chubby dude in a gorilla suit was wheezing when i got to the park there were some trees that were about as wide as me so i take cover behind one of them the cop shines his searchlight around and i'm terrified he can see a piece of my suit sticking out from the tree after what seems like an eternity the cop finally turns off his light and leaves hugh it was in italy about 25 years ago i was a hitchhiker and cops wanted to arrest me for that and for having been a bit snarky i guess they were fat so i just decided to run in a field even with my backpack it was very easy to outrun the one who made the effort to leave their car i channeled my inner michael weston i was very rudely cut off by this other motorist and instead of letting it go we proceed to race each other down colfax big main street in denver eventually we hit a red light together and i started waving a baseball bat out the window at him while he attire ran towards me problem was that a cop was watching us from across the street and shone his lights on us which spooked him and in turn spooked me so we both took off form the red light he was in the left turning lane and i was in the straight lane but we both ended up taking left turns causing the cop to peel out after us the guy in the left lane had the advantage in speed it was a pickup versus a minivan so he pulled away first and left the cops right behind me i knew there was no outrunning the cops so i pulled to the side of the road while the cop pulled up next to me the cop pulled over next to me and was going to let his buddy out while the driver went after the other car i saw this as my only opportunity to get rid of both of them so with fear in my voice i yelled to the cops as soon as the passenger door was open he was pointing a gun at me go go go they didn't even bat an eye the passenger closed his door and they hauled bart towards the pickup truck who was only a few blocks away i took this opportunity to kill my headlights was about 10 pm at night and proceed to make a u-turn and head down a nearby street and ditched the cops funniest thing the cops pulled the guy over one block behind my house so i took the side roads over to my place and parked in the backyard and then was able to walk over to where the cops who now had the man outside his car and was searching him in the car and watch the whole ordeal only took them a few minutes after that to realize they had been had so they let the truck driver leave while they doubled back trying to find me honestly i was super in the wrong i shouldn't have been doing what i was doing and i would probably still be paying off the consequences of those actions had i not thought to try something atl dr told cops other guy had a gun and used the distraction to escape from the cops i was driving down the highway with a suspended license cop pulled out after i sped by him i quickly exited the highway and drove around a small town for a while trying to navigate to the next on-ramp it was a long detail but a necessary one i was 14 and took my mom's car for a joyride like a jackass popped the passenger side front tire and freaked out so i was driving it home on the rim i had a cop turn on the cherries when i pulled into my neighborhood and freaked out some more and pinned it i was doing about 80 kmph with sparks flying off the rim and my friend in the passenger seat yelling let me out i can't get caught by the cops i told him to tuck and roll because we weren't going that fast and kept it pinned until i got home and parked in the garage somehow managed to dodge the cops but had to face my parents roth the next day i have a good feeling the cop saw that it was a couple of kids either vehicle and figured bringing home mom's car with a missing tire and absolutely fricked rim would be enough trouble for me to learn my lesson definitely not something i'm proud of this happened over the summer i was leaving a car meet and driving back home on the highway cruising with three other cars from the meat it was a wide open highway at like 1am so naturally we were cruising at around 100 miles per hour often the distance behind us i see some flashing lights and my heart dropped i just left off the gas and started letting the car slow down without touching the brakes the cop catches up to us fairly quickly and the next d i know one of the other cars just takes off the other two cars take off soon after the cop the catch is up to me and at this point i'm still going 80-85 i thought for sure i was going to get pulled over but nope the cop just drove right by me and took off after the other three i got off at the next exit and drove back to my apartment nothing ever happened after that so i technically didn't outrun the cops but i didn't get caught so that must count for something right if a cop is tailing you from a long way back breaking is like admitting guilt use engine braking was in my very fast mini cooper 2.0 l twin turbos many custom parts matte black with gloss black stripes black rims and ord racing on stero drive in boston i blasted by a statey doing at least 120 his car may match mine in hp give or take but i'm half the mass and can handle circles around him change jurisdictions took the bu bridge heading through austin to the brighton cambridge line and i see a four-bay mom-and-pop car wash i can hear like 10x the sirens now so we j turn in and jump up and pull the gate down lucky us it's tendered by a 16 year old kid we come to find as we roll around back i handed him a hundred bucks and said to pull the other garage door down and mark this bay out of order with a sign if the car was still there upon our short return i'd give him more money went to the bar across the street had some wings beers watched the last four innings of a sox game brought the kid some hot wings a mountain dew and 200 cash upon our return drove the car home no issues got off scot-free you're a solid guy popped in at least 15 feet fence with the boost of a tall friend into a cemetery and booked it as fast as i possibly could the cops in my town range from jacked guy who could run you down in five seconds to 50 year old fat cop who couldn't chase a meatball if it fell out of his grinder i was about 17 and was skateboarding at a local elementary school with some friends at night when two cops pulled up the neighborhood was pretty vast and lots of houses had fences so my two buddies and i booked it and they took off after us we jumped quite a few fences and the cops were ruthlessly following us so we jump another fence and make a right angle to another backyard where we hid in these bushes for like 30 minutes while they walked around trying to find us super close call dang small town cops okay so i am a freshman in college and this happened about a month ago i was at this house party and somehow this cop was able to get into the house probable cause or something so to get out me and my buddy ended up going out the back door and jumped a fence and ran about six blocks till we got on campus next day we find out everyone at that party got mike or mips glad we got out of there my dad when he was younger was driving a scooter without a license the cops chased him down trough back alleys at one point in the chase a cop car crashed the scooter he ran away and the cops stopped chasing him the cops just took it as a win because he lost the scooter i was driving down the road in the middle of a blizzard dozens of cars were stuck in the snow traffic was not moving at all i was flying through the middle of the road saw the cop turn on their lights as i was approaching from behind i passed the cop and just kept right on going no way he could follow me he was just as stuck as the other drivers i was on a snowmobile was on my way to my buddy's house at about 16 17 years old flying down this back road doing about 85 in a 45 round a corner pretty fast i saw a cop on the side of the road up ahead with just his red dome light on in the car could have slowed down but made the genius decision to floor it because i was so close to my friend's house i called my buddy and yelled at him to open his garage saw the copper turn his lights on right after i passed i was able to speed the remaining one two miles to my friend's house pull in the garage and close it before he saw it was definitely adrenaline rushing went outside his house a few times that night to smoke and there were cops driving around the neighborhood all night waved at them every time they passed lol on my motorcycle broad daylight so i was on my way to my buddy's house from the funeral we just had for his brother my other buddy had been riding with me during the funeral and his bike broke down so we stopped and got his bike and we're on our way my buddy is in the lead another buddy in a car with a police scanner is between us and i am at the back we were almost there we turn on to lawrence and the cop lights me up my buddy in thw car infant freaks out and pulls over i cut into oncoming traffic dropped a second and i am gone cop chased md for three miles in the middle of the day in heavy traffic i was squeezing through spots that were too small running the lights doing about 140 on my motorcycle weenie got on the highway and cut across to the shoulder and took off again is when they stopped chasing me well it turns out my temporary plate had corroded and was not visible and because i looked suspicious although i thought i looked nice anyway it turned around around half of the funeral guests watched me start the chase and half were at the finish line when i got to the house for the reception everyone was coming up to me telling me how gnarly it was that i did that on that day that was my third chase via motorcycle i got jumped in the middle of town by a bunch of dudes of some sort of gang initiation when i was 14 afterwards i went to the police station with a broken nose and fricked up jaw the cop told me it was my fault for the way i was dressed black jeans and a black band shirt and it's not his job to solve my problems and i should take matters into my own hands this cop was a real butthole to every kid out there one of my friends knew where he live so we went and took a crap on his cop car and smashed up a bunch of his panels and windows with a bat he came out of his house and tried to give chase but we outran him felt good taking matters into my own hands i was on foot in a dense urban area doing something that i shouldn't have been doing a car parked across the street springs to life and starts driving aggressively towards me it was an unmarked cop car i spotted the car pretty early so i had a bit of a head start i ran down the nearby set of stairs that led to a walking path that connected to a train station once i broke the line of sight from the car i ducked between the buildings down a different set of stairs that led into an alley ran down the alley a bit and took off my coat and hat and stashed them to change my appearance then i just walked as casually as i could into back into the street i got pretty lucky i knew the area well enough that i was pretty sure i could get away plus i had enough of a jump on them that they never followed me on foot and instead ended up circling around in their car but by that point i had already stashed my coat and hat and was doing my best to play it cool they drove past me as i was on the street walking away but they never stopped me it was about seven eight years ago i was at a high s hill graduation party for a friend he was a cool kid and had your typical cool parents so naturally he had a cage at his open house surprisingly it was a pretty chill party for the most part not your typical crap show of drunk high school kids you would expect i think it was because his parents and some older family members were there and kind of kept it under control well somehow the police were called it was either neighbors or some kids left and got pulled over and spilled the beans on where they had been i can't remember what the story was or if i ever found out for sure i was sitting at a picnic table in the garage with a couple of friends drinking my beer and just having a good time well i looked to my right and saw two county cops walking in through the front of the garage i took that as a sign that the party was over i sat down my beer nudge my friends the four of us got up and just walked out the back door of the garage as soon as we were out the back door we blocked it for the woods we had walked to the party from my other friend's house who lived probably a mile away around the corner well we weren't about to just go walking down the road to get back so we ended up taking this huge roundabout way back to my friend's house as we were going we ended up picking up other refugees from the party that were looking for safety like moses leading the jews from egypt we led all of the stragglers back to my friend's house i think probably 10 15 total since we still had a decent size group and the night was young we just picked the party back up all in all it worked out pretty well freaking adam had to go back for one more bag my brother and i were hanging in a trail behind our subdivision when we saw a cruiser light up spin into the trail and start to chase and overweight and overloaded adam down brother and i split in different directions both of us being track athletes may have helped cause we might have set a new school 100 meters record after i turned a bend in the trail i jumped into the woods ran about 20 feet and hid in some thick bushes i could see the cops exit their car and tackle adam i stayed deathly still and eventually made it to my girlfriend's house to hide out didn't matter adam ratted us out and there was the cop waiting when i finally got home brother and i still managed to talk our way out of trouble but that's a story for another day hopefully by the time you read this it is another day so tell the story i was 18 and drunk being stupid i had a red cup out in public and i'm yelling at these women in an apartment complex they were laughing so i thought they were into me i see a cop on foot approaching so i put down my cup and change the tone in my voice to make it seem like it's all casual cop approaches me asked for my id i tell him i don't have any and he grabs me and says you're coming with me i physically remove his hands off me by batting them away and say get off me man he says you just hit a cop you're under arrest before he could finish the sentence i usain bolt out of there i think he's right on my bus so i try to pick up speed i look behind me and he's a behind huffing and puffing on his radio i realize he's a fat out of shape cop and there's no chance he'll catch me i turn a corner and see flashlights in the distance i assume it's more cops so i run opposite that direction in an even stupider decision i hide in some bushes and wait for two females to get out of their car i jump out of them and say cops are after me act like you know me and walk with me they're terrified but agree i try and make drunk small talk but it's not popping i get paranoid and just enter a building i call my bro and by coincidence i'm in the building right by his i'm waiting for him and these hippies invite me up to their room as i wait my bro comes into me smoking with them he brings me to his place and he's been making fun of me about this ever since that was about 15 years ago police officers of reddit what's the weirdest thing you've caught teenagers or kids doing that is illegal but you found hilarious i feel like a cop has a story about me and two other people here goes i was 20 at the time and at an outdoor party at of friends late fall 50 degrees or so no leaves left on the trees roughly 50-60 people mostly underage most were drinking my friend's parents lived in a nicer part of a bad area and owned an inflatable bounce house business they had everything set up a bounce house sumo suits massive slide all sorts of drunken fun crap around 1030 it's getting loud and the police show up someone yells cops run and everyone starts running i decide to join the crowd and end up hiding in a bush with two people then reality hits i'm wearing a white hoodie the guy next to me has on a near yellow hoodie and this girl has a freaking glow necklace on the bush not a freaking leaf on it right then a cop walks up starts laughing and asks really guys and shines a flashlight directly on us he instructs us to head back to the driveway with the other captives and gives all of us a pretty hilarious speech seriously we are the flynn police department we have a million things better to do rather than chase down drunk miners we had two murders just this week we were just coming by to tell you to keep the noise down now we are pouring out all your beer and calling your parents now we're even didn't give out any tickets just poured out all the beer and called everyone's parents nowadays i wonder if in order to best serve and protect the flint cops would pour out your devil water and replace it with beer i had a cop search my backpack once and found a couple of beers and a box of condoms i was with my friends at the time so he was like why are there three beers a box of condoms and two dudes i was speechless to be fair officer now there's three raunchy music intensifies my brother was a cop who worked nights in minneapolis one snowy night near the uofo campers he noticed a car weaving so he pulled them over thinking there would be alcohol involved nope it was a car full of deaf people having an argument which included the driver he just told the driver to not sign and drive that for sure is a real thing and scary is crap i have hearing impaired friends that are horrible drivers and of course they leave the dome light on in the car to be able to communicate at night which doesn't help the cause i mean i understand it must be boring driving and not being able to listen to music but crap that's so scary when they try signing with someone in the back seat not a cop but i have a radio scanner dispatcher reports of a teenager riding a skateboard naked down westway cop is a suspect carrying a suspicious package my brother is a cop and he told me one time he got a call around 9 30 in the morning for a suspicious person sitting in their car in a neighborhood my bro goes up to him and asks what he's doing dude is waiting for his wife to leave for work so he can go back home and play wow all day instead of go to his own job my bro tells him to go wait somewhere else because he's freaking out the neighbors to clarify a few things the guy was parked in a different neighborhood than his own because he was hiding from his wife until she left the house so nobody knew him and it's obviously suspicious to be idling your car in front of some random house in a neighborhood while kids are going to school it's not illegal but he took the good advice to go wait somewhere else preferably more public like a walmart parking lot or something also the dude was scared as crap that the cops were going to go tell his wife that he was hiding from her because he wanted to go back home and play video games my brother of course doesn't give two shoots about that he just wanted the dude to go somewhere else so people would stop calling about it and causing him needless work and yes you can call the cops for any reason you want it's a necessary but annoying part of a cop's job to go tell some oblivious man baby to wait somewhere else because they are disturbing the paranoid soccer moms who think they're going to nab their kids i'm not sure who's weirder they're the guy who's got nothing better to do than poorly hide from his wife so he can play video games all day all the neighbors who have nothing better to do than to look out the window all day my friend had a bunch of prop arms and legs in his car you know college he and his other friend were trespassing in the northfield tunnels google it and when they get back to the car there is a cop waiting he asks to see in the trunk so they open it he jumps back a sec big quickly realizes their arms and legs are fake and he hasn't caught some serial killers then gives them a very stern shut the frick up look as he calls his partner from the car to come look at this all shaky voiced as he tells my friend and his friend to put their hands up hello sirius the other cop comes over looks in the trunk and freaks the frick out screams and runs away back to the car at which point the first cop bursts out laughing and tells my friends how ha he was hahahaha he was in vietnam haha and does a get out of here gesture and sends them on their way so basically he used my friend to pull a super cruel practical joke on his partner i don't know if it's because of the actual joke or the way you wrote the cops lines but he sounds just like archer it wasn't illegal but really suspicious i was a cop in the air force we had just gone into a higher fpcon threat level and around 11 o'clock at night i saw three people in an empty dark field near some power lines with shovels and a garden hoe my partner and i decided to stop them and see what was going on because it didn't look like civil engineering or anyone that should be there at that hour so we go up see that they're all about 14 15 years old and they're all sweating and out of breath we ask what they're digging for and they say they weren't digging which after looking around we didn't see any dug up dirt so my partner asks what they're doing and they hesitantly answer that they were laughing one of their dads shows up and scolds them telling them how shady they look apologizes to us and we send them all back to the dad's house which was about a hundred yards away i hold back my laughter until i get back to the car where i have to explain to my partner what larping is and why i'm laughing my brother was once jumping his bike off the end of the public boat dock behind the city hall which also housed our police station they had it tethered so it wouldn't get lost on the bottom a cop came out watched for a while and said i'm fairly certain something about that is illegal but i can't figure out what and it looks like fun so be safe and walk back inside a few years ago a friend and i were walking home through a residential estate drunk after a night out about halfway home a police car pulls up next to us and says they need to talk to us they say that cctv in the area had observed us entering several front gardens we then drunkenly explained that we have been going into people's gardens and swapping around flower pots hanging baskets and garden ornaments with their next-door neighbors one of the cops was laughing a lot and the other seemed really confused luckily they got another call and let us carry on our way i got a call about two kids teenagers smoking weed in their parked truck down by the duck band you know the one anyways i contacted them and they were very respectful and insisted on filming me on their cell phones while i spoke to them i told them i wasn't interested in their weed still illegal in my state but i wanted to make sure they got home safe that the driver was sober enough to operate the vehicle i did basic fsts on the driver and determined he was good to drive all the while his buddy filming every movement and interaction so i decided to have some fun by the end of the evaluation i had the nervous driver doing the ymca sprinkler move and a janky butt version of the robot before he finally realized what was happening his buddy filming realized right away and his defensive lawyer cameraman posture dissolved into a stoned kid that was now having a good time again the driver broke down and busted up laughing before shaking my hand and hopping back in his truck the cameraman gave me a fist bump and just said thank you in a way that i took as wow good to know some of you are human it's annoying that we have to live with the stigma that gets portrayed by popular media and quite frankly some of us deserve it but it's still nice to know when you get through to someone i mean really alter their perception and break down a barrier put up by others cops are here to make sure people don't hurt one another that's it if you're going to hurt someone else even if it's just a strong possibility i'm your worst enemy but if you're just swaying from societal norms that change like the weather and being yourself have added man you only live once okay off soapbox oh proofreading fst equals field sobriety test i didn't catch them but when i arrived at my first station after graduating from the academy i was talking to some of the guys who had been there a while i asked if they knew my cousin who lived in that patrol area turns out they did they had a call a few years back of some kids driving around pulling up next to cars kazad traffic lights and waving a huge corn cob at the drivers laughing hysterically then driving off they were pulled over brought down to the station and parents were notified there was one old-timer who was a bit of dong telling me that my cousin was a pervert as were his friends but the others guys said they thought it was hilarious when it happened and they never charged the kids with anything i still mess with my cousin about that when i see him when i was a teen living in the phoenix area we would fill up the back of a pickup with shaved ice from behind the ice rink and then build snowmen in people's yards we would do it at night before ringing and driving away one time a neighbor called the cops after hearing a group of teens sneaking around outside the cop came by and found out what we were doing instead of getting after us he told us to follow him somewhere we ended up making a snowman in his own front yard he rang the doorbell and hid around the corner while his wife came to the door and then his kids came out there are some good cops out there not all of them are like the ones shooting people without cause there are some good cops out there there are and it is threads like these that give me hope that they outnumber the bad ones sadly the good ones are rarely the ones we see on the news not a cop but i was a soldier in the army national guard after 9 11 this informs the rest of my story we were tasked with securing our armory immediately after 9 11 in case anyone decided to attack a soft target this involved 24 stroke 7 armed security by soldiers with m16s in camouflage and body armor this was immediately after the attacks and for those who weren't old enough to remember it crap was weird at the time well me and several fellow soldiers were guarding our couple acre compound in the middle of a smaller city adjacent to this compound was a park with baseball fields that teenagers would go to and frick smoked weed well a blacked out car pulled down the road one night and my buddy was conducting a roving patrol at night complete with night vision goggles well they weren't in our compound but they were pretty suspicious so we called the local law enforcement by this time i had met my fellow soldier outback to keep an eye on them four cop cars came screaming down this entrance and drew their weapons these kids crap when they found out that the cops were called they asked who called the cops shined their lights over at us and there stood three soldiers in camouflage with helmets tactical vests night vision goggles and m16s staring at them we never saw that car again i can only imagine the story they told their friends they were released and as far as i know no charges were brought against them one of my friends from class a couple semesters ago was is a copper couple cities over he's a cool guy and we worked on the first class presentation together anyway i'm sitting in my car before our class at approx 7 pm that's 1900 hours for you blue liners and i decide i'm going to smoke before class this class was required but almost insultingly easy i usually walk around the parking lot with my jay but security guards were doing rounds or something and while they have a reputation for being pretty laid back about pot use i don't want to take a chance so i am inside my car lighting up and just kind of casually reading the textbook and it's getting kind of smoky in my car so i look around and then crack a window to let the smoke out when i saw security was gone i rolled the window all the way down and dashed my j i put it back in my mouth and go back to reading then out of the corner of my left eye i see a cop car coming my way it passed behind me and i didn't think anything of it because at that point i was already really high and forgot i had been smoking when i realized i had the joint in my mouth still i got one of those sharp pangs of terror that starts in your chest and shoots up to your head and your intoxicated brain is like frick we fricked up then i looked for the cop car and didn't see it but then i was looking at my passenger window and was like man thank god my windows are tinted and i look out my driver's side window and for some reason it doesn't look as dark i'm thinking maybe it has to do with the placement of the light maybe it's because i'm closer to it is it because i oh frick it's because i left it open after having that realization i saw headlights again and i just knew it was the cop car i'm too high for this jiff sure enough the berries come on and over the speaker i hear show me your hands i show my hands open the door from the outside and step out of the vehicle i do it hence hence i wanna see them oh christ almighty they think i am a drug dealer or something i can't even explain myself i am so freaking high rn put your hands on the roof of the vehicle and take one step back crap i can do this don't move those goddamn hands oh crap oh crap oh crap now twerk what twerk wait did he tell me to twerk what the freak i turn around and look at the cop car and then i hear twerk twerk twerk laughing hands on the car at this point i'm not or what to do or think and the officer gets out of his car and it's the dude from my class he said he saw me smoking up in my car and wanted to frick with me i don't know how to explain what it felt like going to class after that tldr cop friend from class sees me smoking in parking lot and plays the meanest joke of all time i rolled up on a group of kids trespassing on a patch of land at night they didn't know they were technically breaking the law because there was no signage where they came in i planned to tell them they needed to leave but one of them took me aside and told me they were taking an out-of-town friend on a snipe hunt as a much-deserved act of revenge i couldn't resist and joined in winks and nods were exchanged i called my shift on a radio back channel and the snipe hunter was called front and center i informed him that the snipe is an endangered species and the act of hunting one was a felony punishable by 10 years in prison and a 10 000 fine all of his conspirators denied snipe hunting saying that they were just stargazing and didn't know the guy doing the hunting he was standing there wide-eyed and literally holding the bag with his snipe stick in the other hand he stuttered and stammered an excuse and insisted the conspirators were lying about that time three more cruisers appeared lights and all as if choreographed we all stepped aside and the sheriff himself made an entrance and assessed the situation dead silence after he made the inquiries we all busted out laughing the whole otherwise very slow night was captured in a group picture complete with the victim his friends my shift and the sheriff tldr rolled up on a prank joined the prank snipe hunt prank explained below so i pull up on an suv one night about 2 a.m inside there are four teenage boys the parking lot is pitch black no businesses nearby are open and they are sitting there with no lights on i approach them and get several more units there quickly cause some crap is about to go down when enough of my peeps get there we get them out of the car they are unshackingly polite respectful and cooperative and actually allow us to search their car and then their pockets we find nothing not even an odor of marijuana after exhausting ourselves going through this car i eventually cave and ask them what the heck they were doing because i thought for sure they were up to no good and i was coming up zilch they had gone to the 711 and bought a big tub of trail mix they were sitting in the car eating trail mix they showed me the receipt for 10 minutes prior and half eating tub of trail mix i told them this was the weirdest crap i've ever seen and apologized that i ran them through the ringer and they agreed that parking in a dark parking lot eating trail mix looks sketchy and didn't have hard feelings about the ordeal i'm not a police officer but a police officer approached me for this me and my high school gf at the time decided to spend all night hanging out and running around local parks and stuff lots of fun we ended with breakfast and i decided to drop her off after i was driving this tiny nissan pickup truck with a bench seat she wanted to cuddle so she didn't put on her seat belt and instead leaned across the seat and rested her head on my lap very sweet and cute minutes after leaving the parking lot a police officer is following us and turns on his lights she panics sits up and discreetly puts on her seat belt once pulled over the police officer a young guy comes up and looks in the window at her how old are you she says 18 and he asks me to step out of the car i think i'm about to get a big ticket for not wearing a seat belt tells me i saw you driving kind of unsteady and once i put on my lights i see a young girl's head pop up through the cab window so i know why you're driving and steady i'm in shock at the implication i was your age not too long ago and i get it you guys like each other a lot she's a pretty girl you're just having fun what i'm concerned about is that she's the proper age and that you know other old school officers would nail you for public indecency reckless driving something like that so i want you to make sure in the future you're wearing protection gotta stay safe and concentrate on your driving when you're driving gotta stay safe okay buddy go have an awesome day i was speechless especially because about 10 minutes before she and i actually did have a quickie in the parking lot that absolutely would have gotten us freaked over tldr got pulled over for a caring talk about life and safe freaking for bj that didn't happen dispatched to a suspicious activity car parked on a residential street at night cold as heck outside and rainy not sure what was suspicious but complain and didn't want to be contacts i find the car and pull up behind the same time a second unit pulls up in front and we light them up hum don't see anybody in the car look around to make sure somebody isn't coming up on us nope i look in backseat and see blankets moving what the bang on window and finally a head pops up teen kid who didn't look to have a stitch on okeydoke by yourself naked in a car then hear a voice oh someone else he says yes he and his girlfriend were having fun yes they are both naked well no biggie about then she opens the door and bolts buck naked running between houses we don't know if she has warrants or what but know she'll freeze to death pretty quick i asked why she ran as other squad gives chase but kid is as surprised as we were this girl is a refund track star we get two other squads involved and after 20 minutes find her near frozen in a storage shed the reason she ran she recognized my voice and knew me from church the pastor's daughter nice we told her she was stupid could have died got four squads involved etc i never said a word to the other officers about who she was and never mentioned it after to her just smiled when i saw her every sunday not illegal but here is my go-to story i was called to a resident where the f complainant stated that a child from down the street had brought an item to their house and that she was at a loss upon arrival i made contact with complainant and she relayed this story i was washing dishes and i looked out the window where all the girls neighborhood girls between six nine years old were playing on the trampoline they were using a large rubber dong shaped device to hit each other i ran out and grabbed it and turned it off the kids had no clue what it was and in their defense it was purple with sparkles and other inlays kinda pretty if not for the fact it was a 10 inches rubber corn cob well i secured the item in an evidence bag and no crime having been committed i made a command decision to return it to the owner i took it and rolled it up in said evidence bag in such a way it would unroll when held by the top i then knocked on the corncob owner's door and when she answered i snapped it down using my most curt cop voice i said mom your daughter secured your personal item and was accosting your neighbor's children with it about the face and neck at this time your neighbor does not wish to pursue charges however i will need you to sign this evidence form it was very detailed description so i can return your personal item i have never seen someone show so much embarrassment and humiliation as that lady did she could not even speak or look at me the best part was this other lady that was deeper in the residence that kept insisting on knowing what was going on corn cobs are just funny even the word the ldo is funny 9-1-1 dispatchers of reddit what are some of the dumbest calls you've gotten my best caller while back was someone who called 9-1-1 because of a squirrel it was at her front door and wouldn't go away i asked her to make a lot of noise or chase it with a broom and to not call 9-1-1 i wasn't the dispatcher but when i was an emt we got called out around 1am for an uncontrolled bleed we roll up hop out get greeted by a guy probably in his 70s standing at the door calm as calm can be hey man what's going on oh nothing i just had a nosebleed earlier comma okay well it looks like it's not bleeding anymore yay oh no it stopped around five oh okay well are you feeling okay you feel weak have any pain e t c e t c e t c no i feel fine but like it bled a lot comma but it stopped yay and you feel fine yay so what's the problem then idk should i go see my doctor or something comma do you want to see your doctor idk that's why i called you since we can't just frick off and leave without him agreeing and us having no reason to transport him vitals were fine no real chief complaint it took us and fired apartments talking to him for 30 freaking minutes at one in the morning to just have him agree that he would just see his doctor in the morning if he was that concerned about his nosebleed that had already stopped eight hours earlier i have been a call taker for the police and ambulance and there's always one that comes to mind when i get asked this question it was about 2 a.m on a weekday morning and a lady called up and said that they're a badger trying to get out of her garden gate and it's making a bit of a racket keeping her awake she's unwilling to go down there and open the gate for it because she's worried it will become aggressive with her and wants me to send an officer to open the gate i repeat back to her you want me to send a police officer to come and open your back gate to let a badger out and this obviously had the desired effect of making her realize how ridiculous she was being because she just said well you're not very helpful are you and hung up i'm sure there have been many others but this is the one that really takes the biscuit emergency rn here on the receiving end of those ambulances got a patient once whose mouth was sore from eating too much cap'n crunch not allergic not swollen just saw insisted on coming and despite m's reassurance i'm fairly new to dispatching been doing it for the past year but i work for the largest city in my state i've had a guy complaining of animals making loud noise not that dumb but he worked across the street from a zoo ha ha just today i listened to a lady read a love letter she wrote to the officers that helped her complete with a marriage proposition for six minutes and then last week a concerned ex-husband was calling in because ex-wife locked herself in the garage with her vehicle running in a suicide attempt the thing is she drove a hybrid i got a call one night about 3 am i hear a buzzing noise coming from my neighbor i bet it's a rimlab sent an officer with the lowest of priorities turns out it was a celibate not a rimlab if you're wondering yes this was in florida loud but celeb dang no joke an old lady called and complained about the black foreigners which were just going for a walk there are so much people who call us about things which has nothing to do with us and some people are really really xenophobic my dad was a cop in our small town in the 80s he received a call from an old lady to inform him a black person had just been in her shop on my first day in sweden i didn't manage to figure out that the student apartment i'd rented was electronically locked and so i called the number the housing office gave me for emergencies toll free number i didn't have a working sim turns out it was the equivalent of i 911 inadvertently the caller i'm an attorney and i was trying to call my secretary to come into my office for something i'm not terribly great at using our intercom phone system her call number was 11 and i thought you had to dial 9 like when dialing out so without thinking i dial 9 1 1 when the dispatcher answered i immediately panicked and just hung up stupid of me i know within 5 minutes two city cops walked in the front door of my law office we live in a small city so everyone basically knows everyone at this point i had to walk out of my office and fess up to what i did the cops didn't think it was strange to get a call from my office because we've had to call many times in the past because of crazies coming into our office and being threatening for one reason or another the cops still tease me about it to this day and the running joke at my office is the staff better behave or i'll call 9-1-1 so embarrassing just last night i had a regular caller who requested a deputy to her home to bring her a glass of water because she claimed she couldn't move i am not a dispatcher but i'm forced to watch lots of reality tv at home there was one documentary about the night shift ambulance service in the nw of england it featured the following classic if culturally very specific exchange caller describes finding drunk injured youth collapsed in street dispatcher where's he bleeding from caller dunno blackpool i think explanation for non-uk the word bleeding or more usual bleeding can be used for mildly expletive emphasis as in the statement don't state the bleeding obvious m8 i work deep nights man calls in and says i was just laying in bed watching cnn and they were giving a report about isis when out of nowhere this middle eastern guy bangs on my bedroom window and screams i'm with the terrorists and ran away i didn't believe him at first until my offices got on scene and checked for warrants on our local crazy guy dude straight up snuck behind the thorny bushes at this guy's window to peek in at his tv and scare the crap out of him mission accomplished crazy guy mission accomplished a father requested an ambulance to take his son from one hospital zd to go to another hospital zd dad was upset because the nurses were trying to take a rectal temp from the boy and according to dad this was going to turn him gay the boy was less than two years old and very sick dad was perfectly willing to delay his care several hours out of some of the most profound ignorance i have ever encountered we did not send him an ambulance because that would have been illegal but also because dad is a piece of crap we did get the police and child protective services over there though and the father was removed from the hospital for his violent behavior i had a lady who wanted to help a lost dog who was in the road she stopped got out and let the dog inside her back seat while she was walking around to get back in the dog decided that carr was now his freaking car and started aggressively defending it she called 9-1-1 because she didn't know what else to do poor lady was just trying to help i can kind of see calling 9-1-1 for that stupidest ever was a kid teen reporting his friend had passed out was unresponsive and he was afraid they were dead i asked if he could detect any breathing and the kid goes i don't know let me check hey friend are you breathing friend no anguished caller he says no what do i do me tell him to start call her she says start friend ah that's better caller thanks lady welp another life saved here ass friend of mine who is an ambulance officer was called out because the caller couldn't breathe as advised by the dispatcher he turned up to the house to find it was on fire the caller couldn't breathe because of all the smoke probably should have asked for the fire brigade and got out the heck out of there huh there was someone else in this thread with the exact same story can't find it now but have a look maybe you'll find your friend dispatcher for an alarm company one time had this guy called because he wanted me to send the police he was outside his house and saw that the front door was open so he called us to have us call the police why couldn't he do it himself you ask well because that's what we're here for kicker he didn't even use our services so i could not dispatch the police for him that guy wasted seven minutes on the phone arguing with me i had a caller two weeks ago who excitedly wanted to report an ufo the deputy gets there and calls in that it was the lights on the water tower i'm not a dispatcher but i was the one to make a call i was in kindergarten when we learned about community helpers and 9-1-1 a few days before my story begins so we had a german shepherd named suzy who i'm still convinced was my mum's favorite child suzy was a puppy and she loved running up the stairs darting into my sister's room and frolic my sister despised dogs at the time and would make a huge fuss over suzy being in the house let alone her precious sanctuary so suzie is rolling around in my sister's room while my sister is angrily storming downstairs to fetch my mum i've now made my way into my sister's room to roll around the floor with suzy my mum walks in steps over my convulsing body picks up a dejected puppy and heads towards the stairs now if any of you have ever had puppies know that when they are being carried when they want to play they'll squirm jump out of your arms continue playing when suzy began squirming my mum panicked and tried to hold on to the puppy but they ended up flipping head over heels and tumbled down the stairs there was a cacophony of banging whimpering and ouch from the top of the stairs i saw i mum and puppy laying lifeless at the bottom i remembered my teacher's instructions being remain calm dial 9 1 1 and explain exactly what happened so that's what i did my mum fell down the stairs and she hasn't moved i think she's dead and i hung up since i had saved the day i went into the kitchen to make myself a hero's meal a bowl of lucky charms i wasn't allowed to use the kitchen since i nearly set the kitchen on fire but that's another story for another day a few moments later my mum walks into the kitchen gingerly followed by a dazed puppy i didn't look up from my cereal when i said oh you're alive my mum was about to say something when the phone rang it was the dispatcher and she was livid she scolded my mum saying i shouldn't have made a false claim and i wasted everybody's time blah blah blah my mom was quite proud of me for being nearly calm during the whole thing i answer the 9-1-1 call and all i hear is a woman screaming and yelling for help i can't make out anything she is saying except get out of my house we use her gps and send the cavalry because it sounds like she is being murdered at first officers arrive and can hear the screaming from the parking lot so the apartment was easy to find they run in guns drawn and kick the cheap butt apartment door in inside they find a grown woman standing on her coffee table incoherent and still screaming they quickly got to the root of the problem she had a snake in her kitchen sink had a gentleman call regarding suspicious activity at the community mailbox described a man that would arrive roughly the same time throughout the week and place things in all the boxes i feel bad in this sense i called 911 because i heard noises in the front room i live alone apparently they were just wind noises because in southern cali we get the santa ana winds but since i lived alone i had no idea who was making that noise so i called 911 first time since i valued my life three police cars arrived nobody around i feel bad i don't but my friend does we had really bad snow recently and it's quite unusual where i'm from she got a call from a couple who was stranded far out in the countryside and demanded to be picked up their car heater didn't work they were wearing bathrobes and had no food supplies no shovel to dig themselves out etc they wanted to go for a drive because the snow was pretty lol i had a buddy who had a massive freaking panic attack and called 911 screaming about how he forgot how to breathe poor guy was training to be a lawyer and just freaked out before one of his big tests it was good that he called and it wasn't like he didn't believe it it was just a very odd couple of minutes i wouldn't say that's a dumb call panic attacks get mistaken for heart attacks all the time breathing problems heartbeat gets weird it's understandable that he thought there was actually something physically wrong with him first time i had one i thought i was dying i didn't call emergency services because i'm too awkward not an operator but someone once called 911 because my grandfather was walking his dog off leash he also took my grandfather's cane to keep him there until the police came one word that person see i work as a dispatcher at a hotel in seattle about once every other week i have to call nine one one because someone ate too many edibles and think they are dying i once called the police thinking someone was attempting to break into my house because i could hear rattling and scratching coming from my laundry room in the garage where the crawl space accesses i know you can get in this way because i've locked myself out and had to do it before so anyway i call the cops and when they show up i feel safe enough to open my door and investigate about six armadillos parade out from under the house i am being pulled over by one of you people and i demand to know why the list of things i wanted to respond with was near limitless the majority of which would have gotten me fired not me but i had a dispatcher friend who had a call a passerby on the sidewalk heard screaming turns out a couple was getting frisky the wife was tied up on the bed naked and her husband was nude except for a superman cape he jumped up to get on the bed hit his head on the ceiling fan and knocked himself out cold the wife started screaming and the passerby checked it out and called the police superman has been defeated by none other than superfin i heard about a lady who called the police because there was a spider on the door handle of her car this was in australia so they sent out three cop cars and an ambulance just in case it must have only been a small spider as they normally send the fire brigade as well to extinguish the car fire after the cops torch it [Music] i had a co-worker call nine one one because he forgot to pay his light bill and he deemed it an emergency he thought nine one one meant every kind of emergency he still argues is point lol i take zero zero zero calls the australian equivalent ambulance only man calls up audibly distressed with the complaint i can't fart called to say that the paramedics left their biro behind and would they like to come back and get it call for a person who had left the scene and was traveling on foot this woman wanted me to send an ambulance to an intersection where the person might be walking to or to a bus stop he might board a bus from she wasn't sure which i explained that i can't send an ambulance to chase a bus mother highly panicked for her child who swallowed a marble no symptoms not choking woman who wanted an ambulance crew to come get her off the couch because she sprained her ankle and her gp told her not to put weight on it that's just from today i work for a police department but not a dispatcher i get a lot of calls that i have to transfer to dispatch anyways lady calls asking to speak with an officer she stated that she got a call from someone stating that she has a warrant and she needs to pay her bond of two thousand dollars in itunes cards the lady had already bought the amount but wanted to check to make sure that she had a warrant i used to work at an answering service and we got a lot of emergency type calls that i had to dispatch many of which were old people who didn't want to bother anybody just let the doctor know i'm not feeling well on monday don't ruin his weekend when they're very clearly having a heart attack or a stroke i had to convince several of these people to call 9-1-1 but many wouldn't unless their doctor said to such is the state of insurance around here some of the doctors on that end of emergency calls are weird too one cardiologist told me he was on call for emergencies only in that if i couldn't do my job right he would hire a monkey to do it better to which my response was the call is from the chief of medicine at hospital sir it's a code blow which means the patient is actively dying and even if that weren't already a stat call they stated it's a stat call which you are correct isn't quite an emergency it's an emergency on steroids so would you like me to tell the chief of medicine that you are refusing the call because you're very busy at the country club sir which i know sounds like not an appropriate way to speak to a doctor but i was the supervisor and had airtight job security and anyone who listened to that call would have sided with me so i felt fine with it emt and dispatcher for a private company with several 9-1-1 contracts since 2011 everything under the sun from common cold to not being able to sleep people driving calling in to let us know that somebody they saw walking looks sick they usually refuse to give us a call back or an address so pretty literally just calling to let us know one of our homeless regulars jumped out of a dumpster to mug somebody and stubbed his toll landing constipation the panicked rollover that was just a kid who fell off his big wheel and yes he got fire rescue police and als sent to him there was no language barrier numerous calls for people fainting in church after finding jesus typically on sundays there are hundreds if not thousands of others these were just the first to came to mind i also want to take a second to elaborate a bit i spend most of my time servicing and extremely poor community gripped by addiction violence and racism and while everything i've listed is a ridiculous reason to call nine one one for medical aid and probably a bit humorous i think it's important to remember how little these people have it feels like the majority of the city is unemployed most of them don't have a high school education they live in a world where violence is on every corner there are a lot of things they can't handle by themselves or how you or i would probably handle it because they haven't had the opportunities you or i have had a lot of them are also immigrants who live and work with only other immigrants and speak almost no english the concept of 9-1-1 here doesn't translate well to them you or i think if there is a dire emergency to call to them it's a culture of if you have a problem any problem call and it's hard to re-educate we can't exactly get a bunch of the first responders at a public meeting and announced stop calling us for this crap so we essentially have to find teachable moments on nonsense calls and try one person at a time which is a losing fight in a city of one hundred thousand in a ho just something to think about before you read one from this thread and think what a freaking idiot you are the right person for your job sir the community is lucky to have you not a dispatcher so this is only anecdotally a few years back my whole region was experiencing a blackout people were calling emergency to ask what to do with the stakes in their freezers now that they were defrosting this resulted in public statements afterward telling people to not call asking stupid questions like that hey i saw cat okay go on well it's inside this house across the street from me looking out the widow alright so what is your concern exactly well i just think an officer should check it out make sure it's okay was actually the dispatchy but this called it common on 9-1-1 a call for a 20-something-year-old female with neck pain i'm thinking oh crap what if this is meningitis but no the caller her boyfriend says they've been sitting on the couch in an uncomfortable position for a while so we sent an ambulance anyways and just cleared the scene after patient education face palm not a dispatcher but was working 9-1-1 calls an evening covering someone on break got a call from an irate older gentleman saying that because of the wind the piece of cardboard flew from his neighbor's bin and landed in his garden i explained that he could go outside and pick it up and put it in his own bin or indeed the neighbors if he wanted to he refused and wanted to press charges for trespassing i had to hang up the call 15 minutes later and explain that this was a non-emergency call some people happened to my dad a man phoned the police on a saturday night complaining that his chinese was closed and the police should do something about it my dad was not in the mood and tore strips off this guy saying it was not a police matter at all i think it even made our local newspaper if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: UE Stories

Views: 111,367

Keywords: police, police stories, cops, dumbest criminals, smartest criminals, reddit compilation, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: FHno9Yr8v38

Length: 111min 5sec (6665 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 05 2020