Lawyers, What's The Stupidest Case You've Had?

lawyers of reddit what's the stupidest case you've been asked to take on and did you my mother said that at a law firm she used to work out many years ago they had received a call from a gentleman that wanted to file a lawsuit against walt disney when asked why he was filing suit he claimed that the disney characters were coming out of the tv and stealing food from his refrigerator they told him they'd take the case for an advance fee of 100k dollars and never heard back from him lawyer for 12 years client was charged with stealing a mobile toilet after we won he told me he still owns it the sucker has the thing in his backyard because he was lazy as frick his office was nearby forced him to deliver it back at night jesus still offended that he lied to me me the whole time client wanted to sue because there were no strawberries in her fruit salad which she bought from a supermarket thankfully a secretary was able to screen the call she asked if the package said it had strawberries and the response was no that i thought it would have i don't know how these people manage to make it through life my father is a patent attorney and when i was around 14 he told me about a guy who wanted to patent the iphone 3 because aliens had given him the design for it my father told him that if the aliens originally designed then they were the ones that had to patent it not him freaking genius i'm a prosecutor so i don't get hired to represent anyone i work for the government but i do have discretion over how the prosecution progresses that is deciding to proceed deciding what to offer in the event of a plea bargain deciding to withdraw the charges etc i had a case a few months ago where a man was charged with sharp lifting turned out he was 70 years old had absolutely no criminal record and had sharp-lifted a sandwich which he ate politely in the store he honestly thought he had paid for it i was so angry that he was ever charged in the first place when i saw him in court he was absolutely terrified i withdrew the charges and wished him well i have no idea how it progressed that far i had a client come in saying that he needed to sue stew for robbing all his checks when i asked him if stu had a last name he said no when i asked him if he knew any stew he said no when i asked him what proof he had that stu was robbing him he showed me all of his pay stubs there were clear monthly deductions by school as soon as i saw it i knew i asked do you have children he said yes i then told him your stew is the screw the support collection unit they take money out of your check to pay for your child he left the office insisting that we needed to find stew that's just really freaking sad i did insurance defense for a long time including insurance fraud investigations for insurance companies you wouldn't believe how many people take a video inventory of their house only to have it mysteriously burned down the next day you really can't fix stupid woman wanted me to sue mcdonald's because their employees beat up her son who was trying to rob the place reminds me of the other galadvis thread where a parent was asking about suing a girl who had punched her son and broke his nose but looking through the posters history it was clear that the son had been punched while attempting to sexually assault the girl when i was in law school i did the criminal defense clinic where we help a public defender i say help because they just give you small cases to do by yourself i had a guy accused of sharp lifting a yellow fubu shirt guess what he wore to the trial a gosh darned yellow fubu shirt i asked the prosecutor to reoffer the plea deal she did and i convinced the guy to take community service and probation if i remember correctly our public defender system is tragically overworked and underfunded but a guy who has an abundance of yellow fubu shirts is less likely to shoplift another probably too late here but i was a civil rights investigator we had one guy complain that he was fired from his factory job because of his race he was black owner of the factory said it was because the guy was smoking crack on his lunch break turns out he was smoking crack on his lunch break but so were a few of his white co-workers and they were not fired the owner agreed to pay the guy six months of back pay and give him a neutral reference that sounds like a really [ __ ] case technically he was wrong but technically he was correct i was working in a law firm and got a call from reception advising that someone had arrived needing some intellectual property advice i arrived at reception to find a clearly disturbed woman with a persistent facial twitch and a small wheeled suitcase i took her to her conference room to discuss making sure i kept a good line of sight to reception she put the suitcase on the table and opened it to reveal a stack of thousands of handwritten pages and one half of a pair of scissors so i guess a scissor she explained that she had written a manuscript about how the city council gave her schizophrenia and hepatitis aliens stole her pets and that it was all part of a bigger conspiracy involving the army and the illuminati she was worried that our local newspaper was going to steal her thoughts and publish her manuscript without her consent and wanted to register the copyright in her manuscript we then had a perfectly rational and reasonable discussion about copyright laws i explained that in our jurisdiction she didn't need to register it and that she had rights as an author automatically on creation of the work i told her the most useful thing she could do is ensure she had evidence of her creative work and that she should send a digital copy to herself and a friend and also leave a copy with a friend that way if it was published without her consent she could prove it was her work we spoke for nearly an hour she thanked me and then left she got free legal advice and i didn't get stabbed with a scissor i hope she found the help she needs a lady in prison in my state tried to sue the state department of corrections for holding her against her will a lawyer wouldn't touch it it takes a special kind of stupid to try that i had a teacher that worked for a major video game publisher one of the top 10 ones he told me that when people tried to sue them for small amounts due to some game being bad they would just pay whatever the person wanted it was cheaper than dealing with a country terrible justice system except one day a guy sued them because a game was bad he was a law student self-representing and tried to throw the book at the company they decided to make an exception for this guy they instead threw the book back at him the lawsuit kept escalating until both sides wasted lots of time and money then as final stroke they offered to settle in front of a judge they're in front of the judge they put the price of the game on the table in cash and told the guy to just take it and stop bothering them the judge thought it was very fair and told the guy that if he refused that settlement he would be fined guy was very unhappy he expanded like 5000 us dollars in bureaucracy and airplane fares to get 60 us dollars i'm a lawyer but this happened to a friend of mine he got engaged and apparently this pee off his ex-gf the ex-gf sued him for custody of their two cats and five hundred thousand dollars for something like the lost value of the cats because she claimed they were service animals hint they were not at all service animals guy i know worked for the dpp and told me about a case where a guy was up on car theft charges which is like five years max bit he was very likely to get a suspended sentence probation as it was a first ever offense the dumbass though thought it would be a good idea to go and intimidate the witness into not testifying the witness called the cops and had cctv footage of this so he copped an extra charge with a 20-year max and there was no way in hacky was getting a suspended sentence or probation on that one not a lawyer yet but this happened while i was doing my 1l summer internship i worked at a law library in a county lock-up there were plenty of interesting stories one i already posted but i figured i would share another i also have no privilege issues an inmate was charged with felony possession and was coming down almost weekly to do research he was basically looking for a way to get rid of a walmart receipt and video which indicated that he had purchased a box of bullets giving officers cause to search and find the weapon one day he brings in one of the law books he purchased and had reviewed he pointed to the section the discussed reasonable expectation of privacy and argued that the officers had not asked his permission to view the video and thus had invaded his privacy i pointed to parts of the book that explained reasonable expectations still wasn't getting it finally i asked him who owned the video walmart then wouldn't it be their decision but it's me in the video whose video is it rinse and repeat for about five minutes before he finally huffed off a lady once called asking us to sue her neighbors they were using voodoo on her fortunately she had psychic powers and thus knew what they were doing i respectfully declined voodoo only works if you believe it does just tell any targets to stop believing in it because believing gives it power without going into too many details had a guy that wanted to bring a class action against the company that made his underwear because he was convinced his underwear was the reason he had a crooked dong he assured us that as soon as the jury saw his dong they'd side with him no we didn't take it i worked as a receptionist at a small personal injury firm and was the first line of defense against the more outlandish cases one of the most ridiculous calls i took involved a woman wanting to sue her cat's veterinarian for malpractice because her cat scratched her which in turn supposedly caused her liver to fail and a slew of other health problems to her eyes she believed the vet was at fault because she was convinced the cat was carrying some obscure disease and the vet had failed to catch it it was my second day on the job so i put her through to an attorney not yet knowing what else to do with such a ridiculous situation she got a firm sorry can't help you from our office in part because we did not do malpractice veterinary or otherwise but also because she sounded like a one-way ticket to crazy town a good secretary receptionist who knows how to keep the crazies out of your office is worth their weight in gold to attorneys when one of the older partners in my office retired there was basically a bidding war for his secretary among the younger partners who didn't have an experienced secretary i am a personal injury lawyer in the uk i took a call from a potential client that had fallen down the stairs in her own home she had tripped over her own cat she told me that she wanted to sue her local authority as her home was owned by the council and she was not allowed to keep pets as part of her lease she claimed that when the house was inspected she was not told to get rid of the cat it was therefore the council's fault that she fell down the stairs we didn't take the case on honestly if she could pay up front i know plenty of plaintiff's side attorneys who would take that her money is as good as anyone else's if she wants it on contingency then frick that a guy found iraq in the middle of melbourne cbd that he believed came from an underground volcano therefore he discovered the volcano and he owned the volcano and that the melbourne city council and indeed the victorian government should pay him rent to live on top of his underground volcano no no i did not take on the case fun fact australia is the only continent with no active volcanoes sometimes you have no choice but to take it i represented a guy who sold and leased cars a woman worked for a company that let her drive a company van to work as part of a carpool effort she'd keep the van at home and picked up fellow workers to go to work then bring them back to their homes one day going to work she was stopped at a stoplight some guy didn't stop in time and bumped into the van she got out to look she and the other guy agreed no damage so each went on his her way later a woman who was a passenger decided discovered she was injured went to a lawyer the lawyer sued the company the driver and every passenger in the van the lawyer deposed each passenger got the name of their auto insurance company sent a demand letter for coverage one of the passengers said i don't have a car but my sister does so they sued the sister she said i don't have insurance because i'll lease the car and they provide insurance so the lawyer sued my client and sent a demand letter for insurance coverage one prospective client wanted me to sue burger king for no longer serving pancakes and now they are back at three for eighty nine cents you must have put the fear of god into him my dad is an in-house lawyer for a major american insurance company he once spent an entire year trying to help deny insurance benefits for a painter who had stepped off his ladder onto a cat fallen down the stairs and become paralyzed the insurance company was arguing that a cat was a commonly expected occupational hazard for a painter and that he was negligent in not checking for cats before stepping down a whole year of his life over whether a cat is a known occupational hazard of house painting you have been visited by the ripon roar in rotty of romance you will be blessed with the love of your life joining you for a rip in roaring romantic time but only if you comment nice chops papa if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: UE Stories

Views: 30,587

Keywords: lawyer stories, lawyer stories reddit, lawyer stories funny, successful lawyer story, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2021

Id: 63l0bLnEW_Y

Length: 14min 1sec (841 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 28 2022