Stevie Opens Up About His Childhood Sexual Abuse (*TW)

i remember this clear as day we were stood in that alleyway and he was leaning on his garden fence and he basically said to us if you tell anyone you'll get taken away from your parents so you'd say on the whole you had a good childhood family-wise yeah right so so what do you mean when what away from away from family you didn't have a good childhood i don't know how to go into it you know you obviously know i know what you're alluding to so you had you had a bad moment as a kid didn't you yes um i would have been nine i wanna say nine years old okay so before and i only talk about this if you wanna talk about this yeah because it's quite intense and i guess this is a trigger warning for anyone that skipped the next yeah yeah if you if you don't want to to get it too intense now with this particular story you told me this a number of years ago and i'll be honest my memory of it is a bit scared yeah so it will be like i'm learning this for the first time but you were nine years old and something bad happened to you yeah yeah um what was it so yeah it's quite a strange thing it wasn't just me there was quite a few um young boys involved um not many of them some people i didn't know some people i knew quite closely um there was an incident with a pedal uh sorry what in norwich yeah um sorry [ __ ] hell do you write talking about it or do you wanna i don't know as i said when we said we're gonna do this episode i was like i've wanted to for years to just kind of get out there yeah yeah so where i lived in norwich um directly outside my old bedroom window there's an alleyway um still the same house so you probably know the alleyway straight across from the house um and that alleyway is just fences along both sides which is the back garden of people's houses and back then there was one house that wasn't just a fence there was also a garden gate but it was a small garden gate right um so you could easily see into the garden and um we used to go up and down that alley all the way all the time as like cut through and i genuinely don't remember how it started but there was a guy there um an older man i'd probably say 40s late 30s 40s um and yeah i don't remember how it started i think it was like a friend had already spoken to him before so someone else was already involved with the guy and um we yeah uh he it's a really weird situation because obviously i was only i think it was eight or nine um and we it basically came into a situation where he'd take us to a location that no one else was around oh wow and then um he didn't take you in the house so the most every time i it happened a fair few times um we'd go to like a random location normally like like a block of garages or something where no one else was around and he'd just make us pull our pants down and he'd just stare at us wow um and then as we'd leave he'd just give us money wow um and i imagine as a kid but that's the first time you're really getting money isn't it yeah so that's that's why it's so strange because it's kind of like disgusting yeah i'm i'm eight nine don't really understand it exactly um but at the end of it i leave and i can go and grab some pokemon cards yeah and it's kind of like like like it's strange to think about because looking back at my age now i'm going what the hell was i doing like yeah but you're a kid i feel like i'm at fault for that yeah yeah but this is how this is how a lot of predators and and adults that have this power over children this is how they thrive and this is how more often than not they get away with it because they make the kid think that they've done something wrong yes so um after it happened a few times a couple of the boys involved i'm obviously not gonna name anyone involved in any of this of course yeah um but a couple of the boys involved basically said to him we're gonna go tell and so i remembered as clear as day we were stood in that alleyway and he was leaning on his garden fence and he basically said to us if you tell anyone you'll get taken away from your parents wow [ __ ] and obviously at that age we believe yeah no you're right mate yeah it's such a hard thing to talk about honestly um you believe it yeah so so we believe that and then um he basically said look no no one would believe you um you'll you'll be the ones in the wrong here i'm an adult they'll believe me why would they believe you sorry wow um so it continued obviously because what we meant to do we believe that and then it just had to keep going there's no end in sight to that yeah and then um there was one time i was doing like a yard sales that we'd call it yeah just selling stuff in my front garden and he came past and just bought a game um and then said that he wouldn't give us the money until we could prove that it worked so me and what the [ __ ] me me and a kid uh just younger than me as well so he would have been seven eight um had to go to his and go inside and basically prove that the game worked but then obviously that's not what we were there for for him wow um yeah moving on um we then um got lucky um in reality how it ended i got lucky because the one younger than me told his mum right so it all started spiraling from there um quite a lot of boys involved another group of boys i didn't know were involved um and i know a lot of people who didn't come forward uh because they were scared um and then it was only actually in my group it was only me and the one younger than me that said anything um so the older ones actually avoided it so i always felt quite good for that but then um yeah it was weird i started going to police interviews um which was i have a really strange memory from the police interviews that i got taken by my mum's partner at the time and for doing well in the interview he bought me a beyblade afterwards so i thought that was quite cool um i did all these police interviews that must have been quite stressful for a [ __ ] kid yeah i took quite a lot of time off school then yeah and um silver linings so yeah i had to keep having days off school obviously to school and knew why um so they understood did you understand at this point the gravity of the like that it's kind of like the nature of the crimes um i don't think so yeah i don't think until like yeah i guess i did but like it's hard to fully understand when you don't understand sex at that age like you don't understand anything sexual at that age yeah like i wouldn't even have gone through puberty yet like it's like that's to me that was nothing at the time yeah um obviously now thinking back to it is disgusting yeah um so it was in these police interviews that it started to really hit home that how bad this was yeah yeah yeah and then um i was given a court date so i was meant to go to court he wasn't going to be in the room he was going to be on the screen and i wasn't um or vice versa sorry i can't remember i am i think my interview was recorded right so my your testimony my yeah what had happened my side of the story all of the kids were um obviously interviewed separately because you don't know what kids are gonna lie about yeah which ended up being our downfall actually um because the other group of boys um obviously broke and told the police that it was all a lie and we made everything up what what what they were doing that because they were obviously too scared scared of the guy yeah i didn't want to go through with it and they were in the day before i was meant to go in to the court so um it got thrown out case got thrown out and then um yeah he got away with it all they made a move house um but they actually made a move three roads away what yeah so i'd still see him occasionally nowhere near as much because he wasn't that close to my house and obviously he had like restrictions as well yeah he'd have to be careful because even if even if he got away with it which he did he was no longer on their radar um but yeah i've actually still got the letter um which i don't know if mom knows i have um because she had it but i've got the letter of mine in bristol which is the police sent through i think they sent one to her and one to me but it's got my name on it and just saying this guy has been found not guilty it's been thrown out um that's so corrupt yeah so he got away with it and then um i think i think that's also like as i grew up and i realized and i'd still occasionally see him yeah it's it's then part of the reason i wanted to move out of norwich right um because i actually i have a strange memory of going to go on a night out with you and um you were at yours i wasn't mine and i was gonna come meet you i don't know if you remember but i saw him on the way out and those textures i'm gonna have to go home because i'd been drinking a bit and as soon as i saw him i was like like this rage built up yeah and then obviously sadness as well so it's kind of like i'm not coming out sorry how old were you then that would have been 18 19 or when when we were clubbing so you still do you still think there's a chance that you'd see him about now i don't know that's um and you'd recognize him surely oh easily i'd never forget what he looks like yeah i know his name like i could probably find him if i wanted to yeah um ruined the name for me but uh yeah so yeah it kind of put me off being in norwich the reason the reason i said to you that i i was kind of open to talking about it didn't know how it would go i composed myself enough yeah i know you've done well um the main reason is that i've for years i've kind of thought about being more open about it very handful of people know about it yeah yeah which is another fear of this going out is the guys i live with now don't know about it and they listen to this yeah so they're now gonna know um people i work with listen to this they're now gonna know um but you kind of an ideal world my dad doesn't listen yeah probably easier if he doesn't know um but then it's one it's kind of nice to get it out and then two for all i know we might have listeners that are either been through that similar sort of situation um or it could even be happening to him now happening now and it's just kind of like thinking back to it now there's so much i would have done differently i'd like to think there's more the other boys who didn't come forward would have done recently that differently if they could do it again yeah and um yeah it's just what would you what would you have done differently what what would your advice be to somebody out there that might be it's just that belief that belief of what he said where he said i'd get taken away but that's that was the thing that stopped me from being able to do anything yeah so if i never believed that like at first it was kind of like i'm getting money disgusting but i'm getting money i didn't know it's not disgusting though because that you're a kid that's what that that you've been manipulated he hasn't just done this on a whim one day there's going to be a long build up a long process to it yeah it wasn't instant it was he was already grooming other kids yeah and um and as i said there was another group that i didn't even know the boys yeah um so yeah look at looking back at it it'd be nice if i one understood the situation more yeah and then to just didn't didn't believe that because that one sentence of you'll get taken away from your parents this will come down to it being your fault and you hear that this is such a common theme amongst [ __ ] peoples like a lot of them say this they try and make you feel like the victim and and uh sorry they try to make you feel like the uh the the wrong the wrong doer rather than the victim and and and they make themselves out to be the victim so i guess what from somebody who's been there and kind of experienced that you tell them to tell any kids out there that might be listening just to [ __ ] tell someone yeah that's the easiest thing you can do just tell just tell anyone yeah all you need to do is tell one person that one person is going to get the ball rolling for you yeah i said ours started because the youngest of the group um who was a year younger than me just happened to tell his mom because he realized what was happening yeah and that's mental because he was younger than me and i didn't even realize how bad it was um obviously i knew by that point it made us bloody cry in an alleyway by telling us we're gonna get taken away from my mum's but then it carried on after that yeah i didn't go and tell my mum um but yeah it's yeah listener-wise obviously most of our listeners are a bit older so it wouldn't be happening right now i'd like to think but they might have younger siblings where something feels a bit wrong or if it might have happened but the only thing i hate about it now is that there's nothing i can do yeah it's like it's happened um and it day to day it doesn't affect me too much um occasionally when i drink i think about it which isn't the nicest yeah um and obviously it's affected me my brain in ways obviously mental health-wise but i'm sure we'll get to that yeah um and then yeah it's i don't know it's just it's happened what what can i do now at this point i mean you should be incredibly proud because there's so there's so few opportunities i don't want to call it opportunities but there's so few times in which something so evil can happen to a child and then for that child to grow up and be able to use that that that pain in a productive and positive way and the fact that you have this platform and the fact that you've been so brave on coming on and this may not not even go out if we leave here today and you tell me that there's even one percent worry in your brain that you don't want it to go out then it won't go out but i think you'll be you'll be helping a lot of people out there and also so you should be you've turned that that massive negative into a positive and also it's not just the idea that there could be kids out there that are watching and and this could be happening to them it could be a case of there's adults out there whom this has happened to and you make your you of course you're not normalizing it but you're making the the people realize it does happen yeah like it's it's not like a it's not a one-off thing at all no as i said there was massive groups yeah like there was a couple of group there's i think there might have been five or six of boys just in my group i don't know about the other guys i know um i knew about four of them in the end um so that's ten kids straight away they're all now gone in their separate directions they could be saying this to someone obviously not on a platform like this by chance but they could be saying that and then they could be speaking to someone who's happened to like it is sadly it's a normal thing and it happens very often yeah it's just how close to home yeah and hopefully i mean it was a while ago now but hopefully the criminal justice system's coming a long way since then because it doesn't seem like they did much to protect those those kids involved because a few of them said it was a yeah yeah they they it squashed the credibility of every single one of us but again like that it's not fully their fault because i didn't fight it but when they said that i didn't go no i want this to go for it i was probably 10 by the time the case was happening like it was like uh i should have spoke up and be like no this needs to happen i didn't i just let it go and then he moved three roads away yeah but again i'm not your fault you're a kid you don't know any better and that is literally the you don't need an excuse but if you did that's the only one you need you're a kid you've been you've literally been brainwashed you

Channel: Happy Hour Podcast

Views: 1,203,064

Keywords: jaackmaate, podcast, jaack, maate, happyhourpodcast, jackmate, jaackmate, jackmaate, happy hour podcast, happy hour stevie, stevie white, happy hour podcast stevie, happy hour stevie interview, happy hour stevie abuse, happy hour stevie childhood, happy hour stevie neighbour, happy hour pedo, happy hour paedophile, happy hour sexual abuse, stevie white abuse, stevie white opens up, sexual assault story, sexual abuse story, childhood abuse story, trigger warning, childhood trauma story

Id: cjR6k7BrkzE

Length: 16min 28sec (988 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 28 2020