Steel Pipe Chrissy!

[Music] [Music] [Music] yeah yeah yeah that was a hit with Yas with the snake at the end yeah yeah cuz welcome to another episode of history hyenas I'm ku klux Chrissy day with onset early onset yani early onset Yanni's a good way to pay the patreon member Santa sent us some neat they call me a Chrissy dye be trees or something like that and they called you early onset Yanis yeah well somebody somebody offered a whole bunch of nicknames he was the same guy who came up with Ku Klux Chris disk' yeah what were his nicknames we gotta find it but while we find it we know we're late but guess what we're in between are created self are created Women's Month and now Black History Month so in the honor of Black History Month we decided to show up a little late on this episode yeah and decide ready over here are we just called yeah that's just calm sorry that's do you have the soundboard ready are you [ __ ] are you a 23 year old kid with more finger tattoos now how many finger tattoos do you [ __ ] have now 6 do you just sit there and wit it the one you cuz I know I know mozzies they pray to a genie do you ever do you just ask the genie sometimes four more fingers to get tattoos car ZZZ here's the thing now you really you're not gonna get a job but it doesn't matter that you got finger tattoos because I have seen your grammar and either way you better make it in hip-hop cuz I'm just gonna get word used to master that's it that's it's just what it is in Latin by the way we're gonna start saying it's just what it is and a whole bunch of different Latin and a whole bunch of different languages because we're [ __ ] international cab yeah we're international kids we have an international fanbase now and make no mistake I just get a little bored with things so I have that we have to just start doing in other languages let's just get this on the table at the beginning of the podcast yeah you're always talking about how I'm a tough what is my name tough hang two I'm gonna thank you you're tough hang to it you're not HD and I'm a nurse yeah and you're absent-minded and you're you're just a [ __ ] plague in my existence am i useless here's the truth yeah and here's the truth that we're all about narcissists mm-hmm we're stand-up comedians which means we're all a little bit narcissistic yes just talk about Krissy [ __ ] cackles first yeah let's talk for a second about Krissy to texture for a second yeah cuz I'm emotional crime Chrissie emotion yeah you're a constantly swinging yeah you call me a tough hang but the truth is we both know I do go on a few rants yeah I it is hard to turn me off yeah that's the thing I'm like a robot that you just you wish you could unplug but sometimes you can yeah but here's the truth I'm always in a good mood yeah my family's dying yeah and I'm getting married and I'm scared yeah but I'm in a good mood the truth about you is you actually swing yeah I'm constantly tiptoeing around your emotion about my mood yeah when we're going to a party and you're you know there's gonna be 20 people there and you can sit like a [ __ ] cute little kitten on the couch and drink a few brews which we now call move the vegetables a little bit yeah that's a new name for a drink and Bruce and Cole move the vegetables because my mom used to hide bruised under the vegetables and any time she would move the vegetables that mean she was ready to have a few brews so now when you're outside with your friends instead of saying you guys want to go to the bar and have a few drinks say do you want to go to the bar move some vegetable are we going out tonight to move some vegetables that's what you're gonna say make no mistake me and Chrissie cackles last night we moved a few vegetables vegetables and now I walk in the khatma here that's Arabic it's just what it is it's what I yeah so yeah so constantly deal with your mood because make no mistake when you want to go to a party you're happy yeah and then when you got to come work here and the people will back me up our cackle of hyenas will back me up yeah you're always going cause I just don't want to be here right now yeah you're a you're tough gang I'm a tough hand cuz if there is not if we're not going to a party or if we're not calling the amusement park if we're not going to get cupcakes I just don't want to do anything it's actually true which is actually kind of wild yeah yeah you're kind of a you're an emotional swinger you need to be on medication yeah I do you need to be on medication yeah I used to be on lexapro yeah yeah I used to be on lexapro and then I stopped but I think I may need to be on medication cuz and my mom has got mood swings and so do I yeah well you know that's why you gotta have a vegetable drawer in your refrigerator yeah cuz and make no mistake we're gonna do a live podcast from Rudy's bakery in Ridgewood Queens because it's been there since 1910 and it's old-school German Bakery and I think that they were supporting the Nazis for a little bit is that the story that's what I heard well if they were a German Bakery and they were around in 1910 there's a good chance it's good now does mass assist took the words right out of my god what language is that German German oh yeah you'll Isis is good cuz yeah rap is pretty good you're probably not gonna make it so you're just gonna want to make that sound more good yeah this is your ticket cuz make no mistake you know what dudes going nowhere yeah and you got to change your Twitter name to AB Sandra Dee cuz we have such a long day today we've done no preparation instead we've just [ __ ] moved to vegetables last night and Sal Vulcano us house and I sat on his [ __ ] Restoration Hardware couch and got comfortable on a pillow and looked into dance odors eyes and smelled his breath I have a picture of Justin silver the dog whisperer yeah the dog whistle from CBS I came about to say something real funny if it was here would be real because I'd be good at a roast cuz I cut deep I'm just gonna calm the unemployed ghosts the unemployed dog whisperer yeah that's that's the difference between Cesar Millan Cesar Millan's the the dog whisperer Justin silver is the unemployed talk justin silvers doing a podcast yeah he's just always talking into microphones as Tim Dylan said yeah by the way we are starting to go twice a week because we love you we're getting so popular we're gonna start going twice a week and guess what our second episode every week is gonna be with a yes yes our first two guests that we have lined up our team ersity very diverse yeah Tim Dylan a gay white male and then Ari Shaffir are just sniveling Jew come on give me away Sean chiyan sandy wait yeah and another one for the sandy you're gonna weigh some shame when he comes and Rai said sandy sandy no you said I meant to say saying I gotta say Sandra Dave I meant to say Sandra now when we get our in here do you want to just start the podcast by just going well when we start the podcast I'm gonna say please welcome our first guest Ruth Bader Ginsburg so cuz the Patriots won a Super Ball yeah and it was a win for nice unfortunately white America won again it's what it is let's just say what it is we know a lot of people were out there rooting against the Patriots because for some reason the Patriots I think have become sort of they're viewed as sort of like to make America great again team now right well it's it's so interesting to me like that's how good Tom Brady is and the Patriots organization is they're open about how much they love Donald Trump they're open about it and know everybody loves them every race religion creed they all love them isn't it just Kraft though who's really open about it like Tom Brady has been kind of cryptic about it a little bit cuz they were friends he's friends with Donald Trump but then he kind of read Nick did it he didn't go he didn't go visit him at the White House so I've been a little more cryptic about it yeah Kraft is just open he's yeah I love this guy well he just said the other day like two days before the Super Bowl he just said he just goes you know he's working for the best interest of our country so I think that most of America wanted wanted the Patriots to lose but the truth is terrific Tom Tommy terrific yeah it's just a winning machine he just wins and he left his wife while she was pregnant with their baby for Gisele and he's a piece of garbage and it's just what it is negativo stuff the between it's just what it is and you know but he gets a free pass certain people in life just get a free pass you're giving him a free pass and I'll tell you why why you want to sit in his [ __ ] lap I'd love to do you some kids too you just have a lap you want to sit in Tom Brady's got one of those [ __ ] nice laps he's healthy eater he's not a useless leader he's a healthy eater he's about six four six five I'd like to get lost in him but you know whose lap I really want to [ __ ] get in I really want to get in the rocks lap okay yeah I'd love to get in that lap a little bit yeah kind of smell his bald head yeah just see what's going on touch his veins a little bit and just get to know him asking questions where'd he come from I probably call him Dwayne yeah I wouldn't call him the rock I calmed Wayne yeah and but again I don't have sex with him I don't want it let me let me be crystal clear crystal clear with it I want to be crystal clear with you and the audience yeah not one part of me wants to have sex with a man but you are Krissy chaos which just hit me in the brain and I can't believe I haven't thought of that before yeah you're Krissy chaos of crazy chaos yes well you're about to say is chaos it's Kent yeah I don't I do not I I know all wanna have sex with a man yeah but I do fall in love with men I think that's gayer than one I think having sex with a guy is less gay than wanted to crawl on his lap I'd only want to have sex with women I just I really am so sexually attracted to women yeah a man has never made me hard well I do wake up some mornings thinking about men do we what so do so Megan and Erica it's Japanese yeah this is fun yeah so you have to you have to understand nope I don't have to understand anything you have to understand that you need to be put down for the betterment of the global community yeah just American society yeah but for the global community and for the global community's progeny yeah future general warming yeah you need to be fixed the patreon member called you pick hypsi pompous yeah we find that message I'll find it you [ __ ] yeah well [ __ ] you know just tell the people more about your unique so basically like we've said before you're just you enjoy the smell of a guy I like enjoy the smell of a guy I enjoy the smell of a man's breath but again I don't want to have sexual intercourse with men I'm not I'm it solely attracted to women but yesterday to ball party I was getting lost in Mike conversations but I didn't I didn't even think twice to look at any of the women in the party so so you you enjoy talking to guys there's nothing there's nothing okay there's nothing weird about that man right but wanting to climb into a guy's lap I just don't know what the ruling is on that maybe we should just put a poll up on our Instagram page his three hyenas if you're not following us I don't know what you're doing I really at this point I don't get angry yes I'm a tough hang I'm a tough egg - yeah but if you're not following us on Instagram I don't know what you're doing with your life who you following [ __ ] Gerry yeah I mean if you farm [ __ ] Gerry who you follow they steal content exactly I would sell all the comics supposed to rally behind each other and unfollow him but yet some some other people blatantly steal jokes just get a free pass yeah some other people who do live stand-up and steal jokes from lesser-known comedians if those comedians potentially could get you work or have gotten you work or have made you a little more famous than you ever would have been because some of their fame rubbed off on you that's cool but if there's some anonymous content aggregator who now actually even credits the content that they take and puts on their dumb Instagram page we got a boy cat them even though it's not gonna work because they're being followed by 27 million people and they never hang yes castle I'm almost at least those Croatian guys cuz we're getting really esoteric with our joints yeah cuz I can't see the message where the guy said all the name he had a good list of names for me yeah yeah it's on the patreon can you [ __ ] oh here we go I got it okay this is clay actually its Clanton a clan through he's a good kid yeah our first round pick clay Anthony uh I see superfan status at this point Chris Anthony is big yeah Rothfeld De Luca and Jenn big actors just don't care anymore yeah Rafael de Luca well who knows he might have got a job I mean the kids unemployed let's be honest the kids always available to make a mix for us yeah he's an unemployed Harvard educated DJ yeah I mean what is Jersey yeah and it's not big a kiss is just out now Pataki's has a boyfriend okay so that's what yeah she has a boyfriend I don't know who the boyfriend is but she's deaf she still comments once in a while but she's definitely not trying to crawl on all the podcasts anymore yeah Chris the teacher still it's yeah Chris Chris teachers just he's a wild card in perpetuity yeah he's just a kid that the FBI should be watching or no yes yeah 100% yes yes okay so clay Anthony congratulations you are in pseudo penis superfan level to them you're an on toot you're a pseudo penis super level non yeah and so here clay Anthony goes yo since Chrissy Queen Elizabeth dick de Stefano funny kid already has 20-plus nicknames and we need to make more for Yanis because the Fuhrer of fumes deserves it yeah drop your best Yanni liberal [ __ ] popping nicknames in the comment section I thought of a few so here's Clay Anthony's few and they were good if I remember correctly Yanis sometimes has hair Pappas Yanni jail sexuality papi yeah pretty good right there yeah cuz that's my sexuality I'm kind of like a straight ish kid yeah I'm straight it like if you go to yeah if you went to jail I'd be good at it yeah yeah uh yeah make no mistake I like women but if you're a dude and you can pull off that you look like a woman yeah if you're a dude that has fake tits you're gonna get back down you're gonna get banged out by Yanni P or he will pay you a lot of money to keep the [ __ ] fat he'll pay you a lot of money to keep your mouth shut and then let you throw his caucus rap a little bit cuz it's just wait don't go yet alright timing was a little forward we're on the same we're in the same ballpark but you couldn't see the keyboard keys past all the words on your fingers what are you [ __ ] the guy from memento yeah yeah okay so here's another one yah nice master [ __ ] bader Yanni master [ __ ] Bader Pappas yeah yeah okay Jonnie witchcraft ass Pappy that's the least good one right I don't will change the less Oh witch but he said witchcraft I meant to say witch hazel you might say which haze all right that was a little better oh he's got a lot more Jonnie fishnets yeah oh no this is Lisa Johnson oh listen Lisa if we start in the street we take out our [ __ ] piece guns yeah yeah girls get girls get pom pom or piece every day girls could get shot with the piece guns yeah fellas when you see those girls walking down the street and they're Papa's you just take out your piece guns like you're sitting in a [ __ ] helicopter going over Somalia and the enemies on the ground you jump up and you shoot down those piece yeah Black Hawk Down okay so Yanni fishnets that's a good this is Lisa I think at least I might have taken it to another Lisa's Lisa's [ __ ] hilarious yeah it's you you love Lisa she's a pain so yachty fishnets is that what are your faves I love Yanni fish nets Yanni Kohli yeah uh Yanis the no gender [ __ ] yeah okay yeah I need a dyke why that's straightforward Yanni the guy just good yeah yeah I don't know if any of these are just beating straight up yours KD Lang yeah yeah that was a good one Yan even talks funny though yeah yeah thanks funny how about this one nah mean Yanni yeah okay you know that one's okay yeah okay how about Yanni the bottle she's just going right to it yeah you're not either bottom Yanni La Poste muncher yeah yeah that's a good one cut Queen Yanni yeah yeah long day yachty yeah that's a go Yanni long day Yanni long days that's a good would actually let the people know when I've been a little out of hand can you say I had to deal with Yanni long days today the only long dates yeah yeah okay how about uh wow this one's funny Zika Zika yeah yeah you have a small head cause I wear children sizes hats yeah this is a small and children okay and this was the smeller of well farts which is kind of like a dude nicknames in what yeah yeah cuz the fart I ripped in sounds elevator last night was wild yeah your fianc got upset yeah you just referred the front of my fiance it's just what it is and the farts would sparked it sounds like something dropped on the floor cuz it always feels like something just went down to the floor go cuz let's just be crystal clear be crystal clear I'm gonna bring one of the patreon members to your wedding as my plus-one dad will be hilarious just what it is I'm gonna bring my babies mamas yeah I may just bring [ __ ] Sandra Dee right here yeah yeah that would be funny if you bring Sandra yeah okay here's another one Luis Altuve get up got in on the mix and Lucy had to Vagos I've been meaning to come with come up with something for Jana since the success of oh it's Luis Altuve yeah we need to give him credit where credit's due which by the way before you say this Luis Alto being where we're reading from is patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys if you guys don't know that we have patreon go to patreon.com/scishow choice and you can be part of the [ __ ] matriarchy again if you're not on patreon know what you're doing what do you do what are you giving your money to what are you doing yeah you're gonna get banned like the dog yeah you couldn't get banged out can you bang that if you don't join the matriarchy okay Louis Altuve credit where credit's due he is the guy that came up with klu klux Chrissy okay so hats off to you okay okay so so this is what he's got for me so far he says I got Yanis passable trans Pappas yeah Chrissy likes that one yeah oh wow here we go his next one is Paw Paw Paw Paw Paw Paw Paw Paw Paw Paw pappas yeah go one here's another good one you're gonna like multiple personality Pappas yeah yeah Yani Yanis the Adonis yeah I like that you're like yeah okay here's another good one Pepsi Pappas yeah but gives me pop yeah okay so it flew as hell too bad yeah what he says when he's fed up with Chris's rejection of reality then they call me Poughkeepsie campus yeah cuz that's where I'm taking you and he goes the whole community needs to come together for this so then Dana joined in she says make that a Poughkeepsie la post Pappas yeah yeah and then Megan Welch says Yanis five-part tweet Pappas yeah those were good ones cuz yes look there's a party going on at patreon.com slash bay ridge boys big party we look this was the first month I could see Krissy that the numbers did not drop off when the months change so thank you for your support cuz and let's just be honest crystal-clear welcome to the welcome you know to the podcast welcome to that history i mean--is it was woman's month last last month and we said we did three women and we said we were gonna do four and then we just decided that three woman's enough we're just not gonna do the fourth we're just gonna talk about the superball yeah we we just decided that you know what women gave you enough women you guys have it a little too good now yeah so we're just gonna cut your month short yeah in honor of Black History Month with his which is only 28 days and one month out of the year what let's be honest American history really is black history it is yeah so for Black History Month I say what we should do who do you want to do the history of for Black History Month mmm take it away Sam you say me son is that way that's just what it is yeah I mean I'm just kidding but who do you want to do for Black History Month we should cuz we go should yeah we're gonna we got a lot of options for that yeah well think about we're gonna we got a lot of great options come because we will cuz well didn't you say today who do you wanna do the history of today I'm out of it today cuz I slept on my mother's couch I'm sick I took some I took some theraflu yeah I have a I have coffee I below grade fever yeah I do use condoms with the women I have sex with but not the guys wild so tell the people about what happened down the block from your mom's house oh my god so in I was in Ridgewood I was in Ridgewood Queens this weekend and a woman two blocks up from where my mother lives was stabbed to death five months pregnant stamp to death in her doorway and it's horrible and they don't know who they don't know they think it's her boyfriend but they don't know what he looks like or who he is so I was walking past the crime scene and I got [ __ ] grilled by the cops cuz I look like a perp no you don't that's right you look like hop so that's why I was confused by that you don't recognize me from guy code yeah you could it could have been an engines moment yeah yeah yeah the door was Andrew Schulte yeah it could have been a guy called moment or but it's [ __ ] weird man how far who kills their pregnant girlfriend it's always an insecure man it's always insecurity always scorned somebody's going yeah but that's all insecurity man if you're an if you're a man out there and you're insecure [ __ ] you yeah I hate it that's the most disgusting quality in a man is insecurity I [ __ ] it [ __ ] it's I missed you cuz it's the root of everything cuz I just was in Ridgewood and I've steel pipe I missed you I was just in Ridgewood so I got some my roots out the fourth rock is coming back I'm kidding yeah but I [ __ ] really like it it bothers me to no end when I see an insecure guy to tell a girl let me see your phone hit her you know JWoww's husband there this whole thing that's coming out hits earn it's like you're insecure [ __ ] you're a loser yeah you're a [ __ ] loser and what do you want to do to those people well now I mean I don't know the jwow thing I'm just I'm just saying like what the media in terms okay I don't know that guy so he's probably an [ __ ] I don't know but but but but the guy who stabbed his pregnant girlfriend if that's true or anybody who does that you're a [ __ ] loser yeah you're a [ __ ] loser and if I ever catch you what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna [ __ ] I'm gonna eat a bunch of beets and I'm gonna just [ __ ] I'm gonna I'm gonna put you in a headlock and I'm gonna open up these bug cheeks and you're gonna get a beef fart right and face or it bothers me honestly it bothers me to no end when I see an insecure man like when I see some of our comic friends come off and like do you think that was funny it's like listen you [ __ ] little [ __ ] type what do you mean do I think it's funny you you [ __ ] don't ask me for funny he asked me for do you have a tag for this joke just say it stopped acting like a woman stop acting like a woman I innovational gene wait Shane I've had enough of these [ __ ] beta [ __ ] males with the [ __ ] hats on outside marching like they're women the women don't like you yeah I support women too yeah that's their thing I'm here for you babe yeah what do you need I'm here for you yeah okay I'm not gonna [ __ ] go put on sandals and be a vegan to be in unity with you okay you're a lot of [ __ ] there's just a lot of [ __ ] men out there that are starting to piss me the [ __ ] off yeah and there's a lot of insecurity and I'm telling you it's gonna get to the point where it tips over and it's just gonna be there's just gonna be real guys and there's gonna be betas and it's just gonna start to get violent again because guess what nature doesn't give you know all this stuff that you know when we've got we're out of balance now and we're trying to go against nature guess what nature gives nature gives strength I was naturally given a size 38 waist yeah I'm 240 so I'm gonna just ice peace yeah and a nice piece and a big head so I'm just gonna start to use it on some of these [ __ ] beta [ __ ] males that are trying to out strengthen me because nature is out of whack yeah I'm gonna show them that nature is back in focus and if I [ __ ] see you again I'm gonna [ __ ] I swear to God if I see any insecure guy bend down and I'm gonna I'm telling you you're not you're never gonna see it coming you're just gonna get hit with a steel pipe and you're gonna get a whisper in your as you're losing conscious so this one's for Deutschland I mean it sound you're da [ __ ] asleep over there saundra DS asleep and ya [ __ ] trying to get through that rant and I couldn't cuz I'm sick and I've [ __ ] had to sleep on my mother's couch I'm not gonna lie to you when I got home last night I moved some vegetables by myself because I'm hiding the fact that I'm alcoholic says used to super say did you actually go to the actual draw and take one of your mom my mom was up last night when I got home because my daughter's by my mom's house with you she was up watching the Ted Bundy tape so we cracked one and aunt Eileen was up there too you [ __ ] sat down with your aunt your mom yeah my aunt was drinking a spot and my mom had a blue moon you guys cracked it you moved the vegetables together yeah and I cracked open a Hefeweizen my mom had Hefeweizen in that yeah cuz and then we went to Rudy's this morning and it's just how can I explain it it's just like when you go to a place like Ridgewood Queens you just see this it's a lot of truth there it's a lot you know yeah I mean like in the Scent it's like you know you go the it's like they don't care about you know like they're using plastic straws they don't care about PC stuff that just like do you what do you want do you want the coffee no we don't have almond milk right okay we just don't have it but you don't have any gluten free treats but you wanted to get a cake with a swastika on it and it couldn't do that for you either well they said but well they said it could about the woman who does it wasn't in no I'm just obviously everything I've said for the last 10 minutes I'm just joking Rudy's is a great Baker in Ridgewood Queens and go there cuz they have the best pastries and they have all gluten-free options and they do have an almond milk I was just kidding but we should do a lot of podcasts from Ridgewood that would be fun and I can cosign the fact Chrissy brought me cuz look under teller Linds Atari you're just a thoughtful nice kid yeah doesn't like insecure guys and you want to protect women I really don't really but like that brings that steel pipe if [ __ ] pisses me off when I see an insecure guy and he takes out he yells at a woman in public or he [ __ ] hurts a woman it's all insecurity and it's like dude you're a guy or Greek yeah you're amazing security or stop being an insecure little [ __ ] [ __ ] right now that's Greek culture though yeah Greeks like weird I'm insecure you know Greeks like to yell at the women a little bit I don't know that's insecurity though no it's just called writing your hands on a woman and doing something like that's insecurity that's bad you know or like [ __ ] you know being like oh you know God with bothers cuz when I was a kid my mom is a big human rights lawyer yeah I don't know if we've talked about them like what I'm sorry real quick just you know what you know why I was getting teased because I think like that guy killed his girlfriend what they're saying now with the police speculate is that she was breaking up with him and it was one of those things like if you if I can't have you nobody can and it's just [ __ ] gross to me it's usually that that thing that guy's deal well you can't it's [ __ ] so gross it's just a you're you little [ __ ] [ __ ] you're a little [ __ ] [ __ ] you're right and it bothers me me right it's like what who the [ __ ] are you you're right god I want to I want to hit people anyway I just wanted to hit people today yeah you it's with a pipe you're allowed to have a pipe because I'm getting water yes I'm starting to choke a little yeah I got a low-grade fever yeah and you're also you look cuz I'm gonna come out of the closet just tell the world I'm gay with AIDS yeah I mean wait Shanti um please wait song she's sitting down they're writing down boss he's writing down boss in hieroglyphics cuz you got bars on your fingers now you're the guy from momento you're never gonna work a job it's not gonna work out for you this is the only podcast you that potentially get you out of wherever the hell you live yeah and guess what now the fact that you have tattoos on your fingers guess what category category you're in now the category that can't eat my daughter wait that's in that's also part of it cuz I've had a call for a month yeah cuz you probably your immune system used to be superior but unfortunately now you're 43 year old kid and you're getting married and everyone's dying around you it just they're starting to be some cracks in the armor there are and I'm happy to see it yeah you want to see me go down yeah I want to see you go down because make no mistake I'm a German kid and I'd like to eradicate the Greeks too yeah you tried once and that's why my mother always told me I got a lot to say a couple points yeah just talk because I can't talk anymore cuz I'm gonna throw up yeah but I do want to say this a lot of people think that what's gonna happen is I'm gonna walk you up to Poughkeepsie cuz we joke about it okay and it might happen I'm not saying cuz look you may do something so out of line that I just may need to trick you and walk you up to a hill right like what it like what's an example of something that I could do cuz like let's say for example we go to the Nets game tonight which we're going which we're going which might be gonna be half court sighs yeah if you show up in pajamas which you're known to do count sweatpants catch sweatpants or pajamas with footsies which you're known to do yeah and then in the middle of the game because you can't resist it you run out in the middle court and just jump in the Greek freak slap you're gonna get put down yeah I'm gonna put down or if the camera pans over and we're sitting courtside and I'm just love pudding everyone yeah I'm gonna put you out [ __ ] put down yeah but the truth is we joke about that but here's the truth the truth is me and Chrissy are very good friends as you know and so what's probably gonna happen is we're probably just gonna drive up the Poughkeepsie hold hands and Thelma and Louise off a cliff yeah it's go together it's just what it is we're gonna go together we're gonna go together it's gonna be funny cuz if you want to just drive off a cliff with me filming Louise stop yeah I really do cuz yeah I really [ __ ] do we're not doing any history today is that just what it is we do what we want we do what we want we do exactly what we want yeah cuz we're two white guys yeah hanging but you need to come with jeans while waiting today so today is just an episode we have we want the next couple episodes are gonna be great cuz we're gonna have guests but today for anyone who's new to at at history high he knows or who's never been on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys go hit that we usually do history but sometimes you just go wild because this is also hyena so actually no we could talk about today what about nature we never talk about nature how the [ __ ] didn't how its swung how now it's it's 65 degrees today in New York and it was a polar vortex four days ago yeah and we'll talk about nature yeah I mean here's the thing about climate changes in theirs first of all just stop stop just stop guys I mean is from the bottom of my heart all right I'm a liberal kid but I'm really more I'm a very central kid I'm a very independent kid cuz I'm a comedian you know why medians we view ourselves we don't really have a dog in the fight cuz we kind of watch society from the outside right but just putting comedy aside for one second you just gotta stop with the kind of you're just regurgitating things that you heard some charismatic pundits say about what climate change is and it's just you're being manipulated by a certain industry who is dependent on on making people question climate change right all right scientists are not the types of people who manipulate for financial game like you are accusing them you're mistaking climate scientists for businessmen and PR departments that's who do that type of [ __ ] what my first point my second point is have you even realized that you're denying climate change scientists findings with climate scientists findings what do you mean what'd you say this is just a natural cycle the earth was more before you're quoting something that climate scientists have figured out yeah so every single climate scientist that's respectable thinks that we are onna we have a big [ __ ] problem here's that here's the truth tell us what the truth is truth is I'll be close to you here on the hike crystal-clear cuz you're [ __ ] yani the Messiah you're here to spread the good work yes the truth is 97 to 98% of climate scientists and all ancillary scientists whoever is in these peer-reviewed journals agree on what is causing the climate change and climate change again is not whether it doesn't mean how far it's rising mean no it doesn't mean um colder or warmer it's it's it's a bunch of different things meaning on average yearly the climate is one degree higher two degree huh and it also what comes with climate change is these these vast vacillations and tornadoes and wild extreme weather that's all part of it as well so almost that's almost a hundred percent of relevant scientists agree on what's causing it and how much it's being caused now here's the thing most people don't know because they just listen to these pundits the ones who disagree only disagree about how much it's being changed right and how much is due to human activity right it's not that they deny climate change is happening right and it's not that they deny that humans are playing some sort of role in it it's about the degree and what the solution should be it's the debate is about things like that it's not that the debate is not about if it's happening because clearly the empirical evidence is what the empirical evidence is and I know we're living at a time where people think that you can say the world's flat and all types of [ __ ] girls or boys boys or whatever it's like empirical scientific evidence as just que esto it is what it is yeah no matter what you want or no matter what your interest is it's just Kessel yeah so that's this that's the truth of the situation the 3% don't disagree that climate change exists they disagree on how much that client climate change is how much humans are responsible for it what the potential solutions are for it what did you know it's it's it's it's nuanced disagreements right it's not categorical disagreement saying this isn't happening do you think it's it's we're gonna see effects of it in our life we already are according to the climate scientists and I recommend to the people who really are interested in this I really recommend you do what I do which is go follow actual climate scientists I love Twitter what I've realized about Twitter Twitter can be a very bad place because everyone talks [ __ ] but I don't really follow people who are like seem like they want to get famous for being famous anymore I follow like intellectuals like who who is who or some give me to follow that like people should be following okay I mean their names are always hard to remember but it's just there's just go follow actual climate scientists yeah on Twitter there are a lot of them are on Twitter and they're just actual climate sound scientists yeah there's always Norwegian writers always there's always yeah they're always from that those places I mean they're from there from all over but I mean they're do you know you can go look at who I fall I follow virtually no comedians anymore I follow no actors or any of that [ __ ] I follow all like interesting intellectuals mostly scientists cuz you know that look too thick you know you remember the kid who was good at math and science yeah in your high schools you know wait yeah where's John she yeah you know a few Asians but it's like those kids were never like the manipulative kind of scumbag kids no they were just in the bat they didn't bother anyone they [ __ ] they just focus on the work and they weren't trying to be popular to be a scientist to want to be a scientist first of all you have to be born with sort of a natural aptitude to be able to do it because it's so hard obviously right and then you also have to be born with such a love of truth that you're willing to sit through the boring [ __ ] minutiae of research via the scientific method to come up with that truth there's nothing sexy about being a scientist right it's really hard work and it's boring it's boring and that's how much these people love figuring [ __ ] out that is reality and the objective reality is they forgo they love it so much they overlook how boring it is to get to the answers and it's we are severely disrespecting what those people have done for us in every other field I mean these people are about to cure cancer take a [ __ ] building robots well I don't know about that curing cancer one because it's coming from a certain place that you don't trust yeah no I'm kidding that's a joke and we lost our wage we lost later on she and it was just a joke about Israel but it was just a joke because I believe that they are gonna cure cancer which is interesting to me because I always thought Yad maybe it's [ __ ] but I always believed like they wouldn't want to cure cancer because the industry to keep people sick is so lucrative right is that but do you think that that's just now and the day's type [ __ ] or that makes sense no I think that's always I think that's always I don't think I don't ever think that that's a categorical thing I don't think that's always like all all dudes are doing that right now but I think there's always that element involved and that element usually is in Long Island where people are just criminals yeah yeah well we'll get to that on our next episode yeah yeah where are we in the mark cuz we are [ __ ] this is an all high henan no history it wasn't 40 minutes in we're doing good yeah I just I'm caught I just don't want to be here cuz you say that every single episode I just don't feel good guys have a low-grade fever yeah I'm coughing do you think God is on the side of the Patriots I think he is because we're talking about Tom Brady's one six and he's been at this point two nine Super Bowls yeah yeah and so it's just hard every time you watch a Patriots game it always seems like they get these 5050 calls yeah and these little things I think the Saints would have beat them but I think God intervened and on that play that that to penalties happened that everyone knew was a missed call God just said you know what I want Tom Brady to get another one because I hate his wife and his baby that he left yeah and the Giants won because let's be honest even God knows that nobody cares about any other place other than New York the truth that's just the truth it's like I I know that there's debates about other cities like you know I've said about Houston which I'm where I blew a guy they said that you know Houston's as good a city as New York now or you know Shanghai's like New York and nothing's like New York you have to just stop I'm gonna say something that I mean but it's gonna be controversial and guess what that's what we do yeah that's what we do doesn't make no mistake for you you have hair all over your face yeah and that's the way you like it like your eyebrows are connected to your beard and it's just you're just a hairy [ __ ] Mong gone yeah I'm kind of just an inbred Greek you're a kid yeah but with when I have more hair in my lap when I have more hair in my face you want to climb in my lap you're a handsome [ __ ] devil yeah my mom said you're a handsome guy yeah well you know what Lynn my mom's probably moving vegetables right now watching my daughter yeah and I could say you know what Lynn um I know I'm a little younger but you know the truth is I'm older than your son so I'm actually not that much younger yeah the truth of the situation the truth is ops out if we go bang on my mom yeah sure I'll come up with a Lean Cuisine and things could get we we moved the vegetables up absolutely cause if you come over if you come to my mother's house with a bottle of Sun at home White Zinfandel a Lean Cuisine in the Bible you're gonna get a blowy and your mom probably has what just do it for me so I have to say it I said what no huh cuz even I'm uncomfortable with this part we go whap listen I just don't [ __ ] care anymore cuz lists I've been an original for the last two days I'm going to say something I regret so stop this episode I just want to say generally we do say wild things on here cuz we are hyenas wild that's what comedians are supposed to and are known for doing saying wild thinks we get kicked out of class and we're class clowns and then we grow up and we do the same [ __ ] thing yeah it's just what it is we're trying to make you laugh and we're gonna cross the line yeah it's just castle yeah it's just what it is go to patreon.com/scishow where we have actual history podcasts up there and we have a lot of fun [ __ ] oh we should we meet you know what next episode we'll read all the patreon members if you join our patreon page read that comic slash Bay Ridge Boys we read your name out loud for the newest members of the matriarchy there's so many people that have joined that we're just gonna read them all in the next episode which we'll have with one of our guests of first episode ever with a guess which would be Tim Dylan that sounds good now let me ask you this question have you tuned out on the NFL the way that you've tuned out on the NBA no I like the NFL but I I just don't care anymore like you know like it's all it's all like it's all hypocritical [ __ ] to me like you know when cardi B says I'm not doing the national anthem but then makes five hundred thousand dollars hosting Robert Kraft's party it's just like it's all I don't care you know I love cardi B but I love cardi B show keeps saying she's gonna dog-walk these Republicans on Twitter and these Democrats are like celebrating in HuffPo wrote an article about it and I almost feel like I want to call HuffPo and go like do you know what dog-walking somebody means because there's such a progressive liberal outlet you want to be like you know where that comes from you know dog walking is it's when a pimp puts a woman on a leash yeah and walks her down the street perhaps has a dog yeah so that's the kind of America I think that you think that's charming you're kind of you're forgetting your identity HuffPo you're supposed to be feminist intersectionally i don't even know what an intersexual list is yeah do you I don't know but I but I I support it because I look like an undercover cop this is what I think about football cause and that's controversy what because what's happening with football kind of runs with a theme that we always talk about which is kind of like the pacification of things right it's like shouldn't there just be one sport like shouldn't football instead of instead of like trying to hide everything and instead of trying to be like we're gonna you know to try to pretend that there's a way to make that game safe which there really is no way they can do a few things I guess but that's not what the people like and like you said this was the lowest rated Super Bowl of all time yes so can we just be honest about something people love that sport because it's uber violent yeah it's the most violent sport by far it's even more violent than context that's as a fighting sport it's the same concept as some person from one race getting so offended if somebody says something about another race it's the same concept these men are signing up willingly playing professional football wanting to hit each other as hard as they can for whatever reason so what right do we as the spectators have to tell them they can't hit that they can't do that that's what they want to do nobody's putting a gun to that making them play they want to play they know the possible danger of it so if you as a parent don't want your child to play football fine yeah but there's plenty of parents that don't mind they don't care if their kid gets a concussion they just want them to play ball so let them play ball and let us watch it and stop trying to [ __ ] vanila everything like we should be able to curtain something on CBS ABC and NBC yeah just be able to curse right you're creating this you know um it's not real like I was watching that Netflix documentary abducted in plain sight about the Mormons and it's like the Mormons have this concept they have that one of the fundamental beliefs and their religion is that everyone's good so what happens in abducted plain sight they let a pedophile sleep in the bed with their nine-year-old daughter because they believe he's a good man and it's for his therapy and healing tool a tool Amy her children for some stupid reason wise up raping the daughter then he [ __ ] the mom then he [ __ ] their mom then he blows their dad so he's just a psychopath that because because Lou the dad yeah it's a [ __ ] unbelievable documentary it's called abducted in plain sight it's so mind-blowing and the whole thing is people don't want their PC you know they don't want to offend anyone so what happened your nine-year-old daughter just got [ __ ] and you just blew a guy in the back you're not even gay you just blew some guy and you're not even in Houston you just blew some guy in Utah and then you let your wife [ __ ] them so you now you're a [ __ ] now you you willingly let a pedophile come in and you're a gay [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah well because you wanted to [ __ ] and believe that you know everybody is as good intentioned they're not Ridgewood per see people people want to hit people in football and the reason why your ratings are going down is because you're not letting it happen right because guess what you know I wanna yeah I don't [ __ ] care about any of the other [ __ ] kneeling not me who's protesting who's not those are political issues get it out of the game I want to watch these guys [ __ ] kill each other yeah you know what you know what you know was a high rated you know it's high rated games when Joe Namath got his [ __ ] leg eviscerated yeah Joe Theismann got his leg eviscerated and could never play football again that's what we want Isis when you name this episode I know exactly what I want you to name it are you listening I want you to name it we welcome back our guest steel pipe [ __ ] Chrissy yeah making his second appearance on this episode I've been in Ridgewood for two days and I can't go back there too much cuz because I start moving some vegetables and I get lit up because you [ __ ] I've been moving a lot of vegetables and I think I'm gonna have to put you in rehab because every time I take theraflu I just got a little racist still on vine in me they say own so here's just kidding wei zhongxian here's the thing I agree with sort of what do you agree with tell me what you agree with him what you don't agree with on what I just said all right cuz I'm not even making sense and firstly I agree with the attitude I always love it no matter what you say I love with steel pipe Chrissy pulls the pipe out and starts [ __ ] clean it yeah I'm just not as articulate as you because unfortunately a kid from Ridgewood I'm over kid from Ridgewood Queens and my parents weren't lawyers my dad was a compulsive gambler and my mom is just a [ __ ] good hard-working Catholic woman yeah who's who thinks that Jesus is her boyfriend so I'm not as articulate as you I didn't have the [ __ ] opportunities you had I had to go to [ __ ] Nassau Community College it's just care so okay [ __ ] but um I I think the NFL I think the NFL is worthy of critique mm-hmm for how they treat the athletes and don't give charity contracts sure and all the safety precaution all that stuff is good all that stuff is good but but they should have really doubled down on this other stuff and been like look like I agree with you in that sense like look that's what this is ya know it's like nobody live it's bad yeah but like that's what it is and we're cuz now you can't breathe on the quarterback yeah I mean I feel bad for backup quarterbacks now cuz they're never gonna get in the game cuz the first stream quarterbacks are never gonna get [ __ ] hurt they're never gonna get hurt well you can't breathe Tom Brady's gonna play til 60 yeah because you can't touch the guy cuz when Tom Brady got his NFL start he came in for Drew Bledsoe cuz Drew Bledsoe had gotten tackled so hard that his spleen burns yes he got his internal organs burst inside his body yeah and almost died yeah that's the [ __ ] that was just that was against the Jets yeah just a regular Jets game so it's like I'm not saying and look I'm openly saying I don't want to do that I don't want to be a guy you know I want to watch it but there's plenty of men out there that want to do that let him do it then who the [ __ ] are you just like when college about college athletes don't get paid do you know discussing is the coaches have multi and millions of dollars and these kids can't get paid it's ridiculous it's [ __ ] absurd and the only reason why it keeps happening is because whomever is in charge doesn't change the rules yeah it's they're professional athletes for your school and in a lot of instances those schools are bringing in as much money as professional teams of course go to Ohio State or any [ __ ] team in one of those markets Alabama Mississippi State I mean Florida Gators I mean yeah it's not fair that coming out Duke University like Coach K gets millions of dollars a year and his players get nothing I mean it's I you know some of these players who never made the NBA or blew their knee out for all that work that they just did for the school that helped paid your contract they don't get anything for that yeah throw them a million dollars a year these kids yeah and you know it is a little bit of a racial double standard too because like you look at a team like you look at a sport like tennis mm-hmm nobody ever complains about because I love how they make it think like this is good for the kids you know the kids need an education they learn how to it's like dude Pete Sampras won Wimbledon at 17 yeah when you're professional tennis player arena Williams wanted at 7 yeah I mean when you're when you're when you're a top nationally ranked tennis player you know I'm not talking about Michael Kosta who was ranked and that's great yeah I'm talking about top hundred in the world you're not fifty in the world you're not going to college no you're not going are you going straight to the pros yeah yeah because those kids are we nobody says anything about it because that sport doesn't bring in gazillion dollars for its dumb [ __ ] liberal arts school nobody cares so it's all rigged that's all gross steel pipe [ __ ] Chrissy's back and that was a [ __ ] episode that was a good episode because okay Trent calm slash Bay Ridge Boys if you want to be a part of the matriarch and being non too because make no mistake right now if you're listening to this episode for free we appreciate it but you're a [ __ ] tune when you look in that mirror you see one word and that's prostitute and congratulations to everyone in the Massachusetts area you got another one up listen I don't want to hear you complain yeah all about not having it good yeah as you've been at diner let's be honest congratulations to all the people in the Massachusetts area but congratulations to all the states at vote Republican your team won the Super Bowl have a good damn and go suck a dick peace

Channel: History Hyenas

Views: 26,098

Rating: 4.9133573 out of 5

Keywords: Chris Distefano, Yannis Pappas, Bayridge Boys, History, Chris D, Mr Panos, Mauricia, Cellar Crowd, Cellar Table, All Things Comedy, Stupid Questions, Comedy, Podcast, Tough Crowd, Comedy Cellar, YKWD

Id: kaV6W5eVFB0

Length: 52min 10sec (3130 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 12 2019