Sports in a Nutshell

ah the world of sport the stadiums the huge crowds the competitive nature and having a few beers with a leds each sport out there has its own rules objectives and teams there's a vast number of different sports sporting events and tournaments that all come in different shapes and sizes football also known as football ah the beautiful game with its historical roots dating back to around 1863 football has become by far the biggest sport in the world being enjoyed by billions now football's popularity can be attributed to its simple rule set allowing pretty much anyone to understand and play the game two teams one ball one simple goal well actually there's two goals either end of the pitch there's 11 players on each team 10 outfield players usually made up of defenders midfielders and attackers one goalkeeper 90 minutes 45 each half kick the ball with your foot pass it to your teammates get the ball in the back of the net whoever does this most wins there's also a referee e he has cards yellow cards are a warning and if a player gets two drawing the match they receive the dreaded red card and they get kicked off the pitch there's corners and throw-ins if the ball goes out of play free kicks can be awarded after fouls they're pretty cool there's also the offside rule but um don't worry about that they have men that watch tv for that now each team also has a manager that's in charge of team tactics and strategy management changes they're usually very intelligent individuals even though dave age 42 in a bristol pub claims he's more qualified there's a number of different team formations in football like 442-433-451 or one one one one one one one one one if the match is a final or a knockout game and there isn't a clear winner after 90 minutes add 30 extra minutes still no winner it goes to penalty shootouts which now i understand could be super nerve-wracking but don't worry your team always scores and you of course can't have football without the fans the world cup the premier league the euros the list goes on packed stadiums full of thousands of avid supporters screaming for their favorite players to fire the ball into the top corner of the goal and win it for their team to rack up trophies unless you're tottenham and it's common knowledge that football fans are actually some of the most high brow sophisticated gentlemen in all of sport good morning basketball now the sport of basketball first originated when office workers would play that game where you try and throw a small paper ball into a bin and then they thought we should just make a sport out of this and thus the nba was formed which as of today consists of 30 teams played on a court five players per team trying for a big orange bouncy ball through the opponents who to score points anywhere in this area is worth two points anywhere outside the d is worth three and anywhere past the halfway line is also worth three but you look really really cool fouls can result in inbound passes or three throws and whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins now it's well known that nba players are pretty damn tall with an average height in the nba being a whopping six foot six and for any ladies watching that like tall men i am also that hyped and it's not just the nba of course basketball is also played at the olympics where it's no fun unless you're american with the us men's team winning gold every single year since basketball was introduced in 1936 except for these four years good job guys you showed them there is truly some huge names in basketball stephen curry kyrie irving that guy from space jam that other guy from the newer space jam bugs bunny from space jam and troy bolton from the wildcats the game consists of four 12-minute quarters and each team has seven timeouts they can use throughout the game we have a 60-second timeout so the players can drink and stuff and because it's usually an american broadcast anytime the game stops for more than a second it's ad time rugby is arguably the muddiest sport in the world after mud wrestling it's played with a stretched football that scientific name is a rugby ball gilbert and teams of 15 big burly men have 80 minutes to try to score tries by getting the ball to the other side of the pitch which is worth five points each time a team successfully scores a try they get a chance at a conversion which is just a chance to kick the ball through these big posts there were two points to make a total of seven but remember though the ball can only be passed backwards do not break this rule if you do break this rule the ref can demand on something called a scrum where the forwards of both teams have a big hug until the ball pops out one side there is also a line out where players go to catch the ball and oh yeah players like to tackle each other like a lot whenever a player is tackled a rook is usually formed where the players fight over you and the ball ah and then there's a mall where everyone fights over the [ __ ] ball so whoever scores the most tries at the end of the game wins but the most important rule in rugby is never ever take part in team initiations and overall for you american viewers rugby is basically just an english version of american football american football let's have a look here [Music] for you english viewers american football is basically just an american version of rock b no of course it isn't in fact they're actually quite different instead of 15 players there's 11 per team with attacking and defending sides that feature even bigger burlier men the attacking team try to push the other team forward in marks of at least 10 yards at a time you can throw the ball as far forward as you like in this one tries are called touchdowns they're worth six points instead of five the kick after is worth one point not two and if you don't even wanna take the extra kick you could just try and run it into the end zone for an extra two points because why the hell not and unlike rugby you can take a field goal and try and kick the ball through these big [ __ ] whenever you like really games are split into four 15-minute quarters whoever has scored the most points at the end of the game wins there's tons of other smaller rules but much like rugby if you have no idea how the two games work it's just a bunch of grown men running into each other with a big brown egg for millions of dollars some nfl teams have super cool animal team names like the dolphins or the eagles which sounds really threatening until you realize they finish bottom of their division each year the nfl hosts the super bowl a huge event that works as the final match of the season there's a sing-song in the middle it's very big very long and very filled to the brim with adverse bud light sales bud light seltzer bud light seltzer light saucers bud bud light seltzer lemonade the winner is given a big trophy and everyone claps except for the fans of the other team and just remember that the super bowl is a major sporting event but the soup bowl is a bowl that holds soon and speaking of ads sit back grab an unbranded beverage of choice because it's time for the in a nutshell half time show and we have a word from our sponsor are you bored of generic repetitive mobile games well have you ever heard of raid shadow legends can you turn it down a little bit raid is a mobile turn-based battle mmo rpg game let me enlighten you young one mmrpg you can use my links in the description to download raid for yourself either to your mobile phone or personal computer rage shadow legends has an entire world of fleshed out great looking champions each fighting for their own faction like the skinwalkers the orcs the demons born and the lizardmen i am not a lizard there really is a huge number of champions for everyone from common to legendary rarity including but not limited to the likes of drowned bloat wraith with a big anchor snorting thug with expansive horns warboy and maybe best of all torture helm torture helm you're so kind work through the campaign to learn the basics level up your champions or take in the law like the story of the banner lords one of the few completely human factions in talaria with armored weapons and designs based on the feudal knights of medieval europe they've launched a war on their old allies the high elves and rumor has it that their once good king tabor has come under an influence of a growing shadow is it all true well go and find out by fighting with the banner lords my favorite is archmage helmut look at that beard and when you're finally ready take your team into battle either through the campaign or in the dungeons arena faction wars or the doom tower not to mention a plethora of shards that allow you to summon a vast range of new champions now you're doing to fight your wars and this month raiders blessed us all brand new quests for you and your clan members to work on together new benefits for every clan member just for being in a clan and even a brand new clan shop that gives you access to some incredibly powerful items so get playing with your buddies not to mention a vast number of brand new champions just waiting to be unlocked and just for you guys if you want a huge head start in raid all you have to do is either click the link in the description or scan the qr code on screen and you'll get access to an epic hero canoru who is amazing in the doom tower by the way but wait there's more 200k silver one xp boost one energy refill and one ancient shard we'll all be waiting for you in your inbox located here so you can summon an awesome champion as soon as you get in game and now back to the sports handball handball is a weird knee sport but it's played at the olympics a lot two teams of seven players one goalie and six outfield players you can't hold on to the ball for more than three seconds like a hot hot potato and you can only take three steps if you have the ball you basically just throw the ball around to your teammates and try to eat that [ __ ] in the back of the net just whatever you do don't try to play handball during the football match polo polo is scientifically proven to be played and watched by people that enjoy caviar the game is played on horses formerly known as polo ponies you have a mallet and have to try and hit a ball through the opponent's eight foot wide goals to score a point it's like golf for bronies you can only legally play the game if your dad has a salary of over a million dollars per year i have no idea how or why this sport was invented matches normally last an hour to two hours and whoever scores the most points at the end of the game wins water polo is just regular polo but underwater i have no idea how the horses don't drown field hockey hockey or the less popular one is played in teams of 11. hockey is pretty cool but you do have to wait a while for the ice rink to melt so that the game can actually take place the aim of the game is to dribble past and hit a ball with your hockey stick to try and get it into the opponent's goal games consist of two 30-minute halves it's the sport that no one wants to play in pe and whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins ice hockey or hockey on ice is the same as regular hockey except every player has to consume a smirnoff ice every three minutes everyone wears a rolex and diamond grilles and the ball is frozen tennis is a sophisticated sport the polo shirts strawberries and cream and the moaning matches take place on a tennis court and are played with a racket and a ball players take turns to serve the ball at the speed of sound and must hit into the other player's service corps fail your serve twice either by missing the area hitting the net or grunting too quietly and the other player gets a point you silly billy this is all watched by an oversized toddler professionally known as the umpire that sits on a glorified high chair and ball boys that run at great speeds to serve your every need tennis is of course super tiring so players often take breaks to refuel tennis scoring is pretty complex points go up in increments of 15 at a time so 15 30 then of course you say it with me 40. if both players are on 40 it goes to advantage games go into sets set is a champion in league you have to clear top lane destroy the eye of sauron win a game on wii sports beat ken from b movie and then you win wimbledon or something table tennis or ping pong is tennis for giants oh look it's a little tennis court table tennis matches looks like someone has the broadcast on two-time speed and hits look like something straight out of an anime first to 11 points wins a match best of five games seven if it's international and fun fact 20 of all table tennis tables in the world are actually used for table tennis the other 80 are used in frat houses for beer pong like most sports table tennis is played around the world i personally like to watch random russian men come on man in blue shirt table tennis also wins the award for most hypnotizing sport golf commonly played by the rich dads of the kids that play polo is the sport that athletes of all other sports want to get good at everyone wants to be the next tiger woods without the mugshot of course played across huge courses and traversed on a cool boogie players compete to put 18 holes in the least amount of strokes and this system is great because it allows you to talk to people in the bar and how you've been working on your swing to sound intellectual even if you know nothing about the sport there's a range of different clubs in golf each made for different purposes the putter for close range puts when you're near the hole the iron for if you're around 200 yards away from the green the driver usually used to tee off to cover great distance and of course maybe the most important club of all the golf club where you go to cry after you lose a game but don't worry too much about those make it to a high enough level and a man will be paid to carry those for you but one thing we can all agree on is that crazy golf is the best form of golf darts is played with darts and the dartboard each space on the board is worth different values that equate to the numbers around the outside around the outside this ring is double this ring is triple this one is cool but you'll mostly be aiming for this one whoever gets to zero first wins and you have to be a slightly overweight middle-aged man to master the sport boxing boxing is very similar if not identical to rock and sock and robots except it usually isn't played by robots there isn't someone controlling the players and people's heads don't fly vertically upwards fighters have 12 rounds to win fights either by knockout a tower will throw in or judges decision to win cool belts there's a number of greats in the sport of boxing like mike tyson joe lewis muhammad ali sugar ray leonard and ksi's brother they forced me to drink milk mma mma or mixed martial arts is a mixture of mixed martial arts don't breathe this including wrestling brazilian jiu jitsu kickboxing boxing muay thai taekwondo tai chi and zumba mma is most known thanks to the ufc or the ultimate fighting championship a promotion company that gathers fighters to fight fighters fight in the octagon before moving up to different shape rings like the circle the square or the tetrahedron at grand events like ufc 168 234 or my personal favorite 786-352 press conferences normally last longer than the actual fights the ufc is owned by a bold man hosted by a bold man and participated in by bold men whoever doesn't die wins running like many other athletic sports over a number of different distances you must simply run faster than everyone else cycling over a number of different distances you must simply cycle faster than everyone else oh and sometimes it happens in france swimming over a number of different distances you must simply swim faster than everyone else triathlon you just do a mixture of the three previous things faster than everyone else there's thousands of spores but don't you worry whilst we've covered many of the main ones we can quickly brush over the rest so there's vehicle sports like f1 nascar or moto gp where all the things go vroom all the cold icy sports at the winter olympics like skiing snowboarding ice skating curling and cool runnings on dvd and if you take the winter olympics and just melt it all you get water sports like jet skiing rowing surfing etc extreme sports like vmx mountain biking or skateboarding which was turned into a real life sport after the popularity of skate three we can't get shooting and archery climbing squash dodge ball gymnastics dressage or horse dancing badminton or fast tennis netball or [ __ ] basketball snooker and pool which you can just play eight ball pool to learn those and volleyball just watch haikyuu oh and cricket crickets are orthopritan insects that have mainly cylindrical shaped bodies round heads and long antennae they often enjoy playing cricket i mean there really is something for everyone in the world of sport there's some weirder sports too of course like chess boxing which is a four minute round of chess followed by a round of boxing and then repeat matches usually end in a checkmate or a check for brain damage cycle ball a strange german sport that's just football on bikes cheese rolling where you chase a roll of cheese down a hill cheese quidditch where muggles or weirdos run around a field with a broom between their legs and slap contests which are often commented over by jesus himself yeah you suck oh in this sport called baseball yep no idea so with all of that said goodbye [Music] you

Channel: Joeseppi

Views: 4,533,945

Keywords: joeseppi, joseppi, in a nutshell, olympics, football

Id: tvEXPT7t4uE

Length: 17min 16sec (1036 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 25 2021