Sounds Complicated - Family Room

oh what is up church by the glades 1 p.m edition give it up for the 1 p.m edition smart people i said smart people who slept in had a casual breakfast sipped coffee are still honoring god on this sunday brilliant decision turn to your neighbor i know your mouth is muffled by a mask and say you are highly intelligent go turn your neighbor if you're watching right now online great time one o'clock and if you are in the house i am not above a bribe not above a bribe so everybody here today gets a free cbg t-shirt for being here to say thank you y'all come back next week i might give you one in a different color next week just saying so come back or or if you have friends that normally come to one o'clock but miss today you tell them to come next week we'll hook them up next week thank you for choosing this service it helps us reach more people and we will give away i think four autographed footballs so uh thank you i'm trying to say thank you not above bribing good behavior so uh thanks for being with us if you are a guest welcome my name is david i'm one of the pastors here at cbg we're in a relationship series uh called sounds complicated using a music cover every week to kind of begin the conversation so let's begin the conversation this way intentions intention justin bieber sings about his intentions i like providers and professionals that when you hear the name of what their their job what they define their job it gives you the intention of their job you're confused teachers teach right we call them teachers and we call them what they do they teach builders build servers serve right you're with me pastors pastor rappers rap right so right there you know their intention now some other professions i admire do not do that like uh attorneys attorneys don't attern or even lawyers don't law right what they'll tell you is what a lawyer any lawyers in the house any lawyers in the house you're afraid to admit it aren't you hey listen we need lawyers in this world lawyers don't say they they law or do law lawyers do what they practice the law i'm a lawyer i practice the law which i understand that that's probably tipping your hat to the incredible complexity of the legal system the sophistication of the nuance of law i get that at the same time i feel like you're leaving yourself and out like a little out case things go really wrong you're like i'm practicing like i'm so sorry you got 25 years without parole for those parking tickets but i told you i was just practicing the law right just practicing we're in this relationship series right now and i am your pastor and i will bring you god's perspective on relationships but as far as my relationships and especially my family i haven't perfected i'm practicing i'm practicing relationships uh i haven't got them right in fact that little that little video you saw just a moment ago that video is back from 11 years ago we call those bumper videos we have that most every week it gives a little window a transitional video so i can get you know singers and dancers off the stage and get the speaker on the stage and so we use a bumper video but it's not random it normally introduces the theme or the idea and uh that was from a relationship series back in the day we've done a number so this one's called sounds complicated some of you guys remember we did one back years ago called fearless family that was a relationship series how you know be unafraid of how to have healthy relationships one time just to reach out to the guys because some church relationship series are just kind of girly like they're all like flowers and pink and stuff and butterflies like men just so we did one based on james bond called a family bond lots of testosterone it was a real fun relationship series but that one back from 11 years ago was called messy family and the reduction team had the idea to kind of rip off nickelodeon and slime us as a family and so like a half dozen times they slimed us we'd have to change clothes take showers the whole thing but trying to communicate the point that my family is like your family my family is a marvelous and messy family like every family i talk about every family is a blend of wonderful and weird so if you're watching online right now or at sample road here at sawgrass uh your family no offense is both wonderful and weird yours is a a marvelous and a messy family put your hands together if you have a messy family messy family all right so how do we minimize the mess and maximize all value to interpersonal relationships god's word is the best source on this if you have your bible turn to philippians chapter two philippians chapter two let's say the text together loudly ready philippians chapter come on one o'clock you guys have slept in you've caffeinated right philippians chapter find that we'll bounce around and we'll land in philippians chapter two let's talk about our family and family relationships and by the way if you're single and don't have a family don't check out on me if i come back next week cause i'll bribe you again probably next week and then maddie pruitt's in the house next week and of course she is a sensational single give it up for maddie pruitt and she's going to talk about relationships and dating and and she'll be in rally as well for the young adult so don't miss maddie invite people for maddie uh so next week a lot of fun and by the way so this week is i want to talk specifically about what the bible says about family relationships you know parenting marriage a little bit uh the principles the bible talks about in this issue are both biblical beautiful and broad right meaning this they're powerful and they're pervasive they will easily plug in and integrate into other relationships in your life so as i talk about these things that work in marriage they also work in friendships or they work in work relationships so single people stay stay with me stay plugged in by the way statistically speaking most single people don't live their lives as single people you get married at some point so god's giving you great information to download for your future so it's transferable right in his future as well so we'll jump into it so i want to talk about family and i wish i'd have thought this through better this week because jesus the master teacher loved parables parables with those creative stories about recognizable things people in his culture would recognize the parables you know talk about what farmers in their fields kings and their kingdoms right all these things they'd reckon fishermen in their fish i wish i'd have thought through you know you know a house in your home because in your home you have what you have bedrooms got a kitchen maybe you have a guest room uh dining room like we have a dining room we almost never dine in our dining room anybody else like once in a while we dine but normally we don't dine in the dining room uh living room who grew up in a house where you had a living room but you never lived in your living room anybody makes noise yeah like once everything he went 36 years we're allowed in the living room if we were completely clean and touched nothing that was the rules growing up but a family room i wish i would have thought to ask the production team to like to build a family room like i love the jukebox but i wish i had a family room and like furniture but i forgot to ask the production team like it'd been fun to walk out on stage and have like an entire family room but i forgot that but i do have the world's greatest production team would you please say thank you right now to the greatest production team as a transition the church by oh man quincy beverages too i love this uh our stage into the hughes family room thank you so much jade you guys are great please one more time we're just creative people i love our creative people what they do because i want to use this as a metaphor because as we think through family relationships you probably have a family room and though we have a living room and a dining room and bedrooms we kind of do life in the family room we do family in the family room and so this week and next week so please come back next week let me talk about you know some of things in your family will help you understand the dynamic and a biblical perspective on family like furniture you remember when you first got married and you like really scrambled for furniture you had old hand-me-down broken ghetto furniture yeah had outdoor furniture is your indoor furniture right okay so hopefully at a point right now you have some comfortable furniture in your family room so this is this represents this is not really our furniture actually one time i did a series called the table and i brought my family's real kitchen table to the church for four weeks but my family got mad at me because we ate standing up for a month so this is not really our furniture but pretend this is our family room furniture and we have you know a couch and some chairs which we all have probably some couch chairs love seats and the reason we have that is well i have i have four people besides me and my family by the way if you want my family this is my family ready boom right there's my give it up for my family thank you that is uh oh gosh that's that's my way better half my awesome wife lisa i've been married 23 years and when i say about listen i i married my best friend elise and i were best friends we're still best friends and we have by god's grace it's messy at times but we have a wonderful and strong marriage because she is a genius relation so i'm married to a great great girl thank you please give it up for my awesome wife and then you guys recognize that's charlie he's my young punk preachers on the front row charlie so proud of you the man you are becoming god's gift he's placed within you how well you preach how will you lead how hard you work well you don't know about charlie charlie has such a heart for the lord and he's very sincere very integrous and uh he's messy his room is messy but he's a great kid and then that's victoria on this side she's my one and only baby girl you give her victoria she's charlie's at palm beach atlantic university working on his undergrad and his master's in theology victoria's at fsu trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up um but she's bright and she's beautiful and she's always like three steps ahead of the rest of us she's that kid and she's a really good kid too then uh the one the middle that's zayn zayn turned 12. he turned 12 this week i know growing way too fast and lisa said i could say the zane was a uh zane was a little god surprise eventually we didn't plan him but god planned him and and uh he's been a delight he's a nice little boy and a fun kid loves basketball loves the church and let me just say this so our family again messy family not a perfect family but i'll say this lisa and i by god's grace have a very good i'd say great marriage and we have three really good kids and you can ask around the church because some pastors pastors kids are rascally kids like the messiest kids in the church are the preachers kids and i'm not sure why that happened sometimes and i don't know what we did right i feel like we got lucky or you know blessed or something but our kids are good kids and the big kids especially because they've navigated successfully those teen years in the early adult years and you guys aren't out of the woods yet but so far they have made great decisions on all those big issues and avoided some of the pain and the brokenness that kids go through and i wish i could tell you the secret sauce at least not like wow we don't know why they're doing it and the little guy's doing good too but he's just 12. i'd say but the one thing we did right was we immersed our children in the church from the time they were born now someone's watching online going oh hey shocker the pastor thinks church is important for his family the pastor brought up his kids in the church can i can i just do this kind of take off my pastor hat and put on my dad hat for a moment because i've never and charlie will attest i've never put the pressure on you like hey you're the preacher's kid don't make me look bad right i have colleagues that have told their kids things like my ministry rests on your shoulders that's way too much pressure for a kid i didn't grow up in a pastor's home i grew up i'm the proud son of a christian plumber and so i said that's our model we're a christian family so you have to do nothing because you're the pastor's kid we're not going to put that pressure on you we're going to do what a christian family should do so here's what we required of our kids you go to church we go to church so in the weekend we do worship together and then you do also your appropriate age-graded program so for charlie and victoria middle school and high school they want something called the wave ministry the wave happens on the yes happens on this campus these their kids are in the way they came through the wave right across the breezeway on wednesday nights and it's phenomenal and why that was so important for our kids was because when they hit i don't know 8th grade 9th grade 10th grade dad is not cool at all that's not cool but here we have these young cool volunteers and staff in the wave that pour in to our kids that create these amazing environments that will say things to your kids you want your kids to see we need allies as parents what these kids navigate the pressures and temptations today so hard so at the church i had this team of people helping me and before that you know and camp united we required the wave now not legalistic if they had a big exam we'd let them miss on wednesday night rarely but camp united may we plan a vacation that we go to camp united and all i can tell you is it's the most unique environment for kids turning their lives around and making great decisions on the planet so listen so important and by the way there's somebody here and you can you're in and out of church one dad to another one parent to another it is worth rethinking your entire schedule no wednesday night you got things to do man it needs to be and your kid's going to push back be the parents be the parent they need you need this and then for the little guys you know uh so zane goes to uh cbg kids and that's yeah that's been a lot of fun for all my kids some of you guys serve in that great ministry and i require you know so they do that instead of this worship service it's appropriate for them so one time one time a week uh you want to be there all the time but he loves it so much uh we now have four services he comes all four hours and he just loves it he volunteers some and so i love the partnership of the parent and the church so i'm not sure why my kids so far have done really well and so far they're good kids and so far they don't party and drug and sleep around all that kind of stuff i would just say it's parents trying their best we're consistent as parents most of the time we're consistent in a great church raise your kids in the house of god and then take them home to your family room take them home to your family room so this is the family room so the family room so i have i have five people there's a place for everyone right there my family rooms are bigger at home but everybody has a seat why because i want everyone in my family surely starting with my wife to feel honored to feel honored to feel esteem to feel valued i want everyone to feel comfortable and celebrated uh kids kids i know kids get on your nerves and wear you out but in the bible kids are not a bother kids are a blessing you stay in philippians chapter 2 but i love what it says this is so rich in psalm 127 verse 4 and following it's on the screen right now read the highlighted word loudly if you will like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children put the word children in the chat children born in one's youth blessed is the man whose quiver is full full so our quiver had room for three arrows but anyways children in the bible are like weapons for a warrior they're always personified in the positive they're a great thing they're not above bother they're a blessing and the bible will give you all kinds of specific relationship roles and instruction where should you read write this down ephesians chapter 5 ephesians chapter 6 goes into detail about the responsibilities and the roles in the family like for example uh for the kids it says in the first two verses of ephesians chapter six it says children obey your parents and the lord get ready for this is right honor when i say three shout the word honor one two three honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise so we're so kids you're called here's your role before god to obey and honor obey and honor with david what's the difference okay obey is the action honor is the attitude thank you charlie the only response in the house is you almost say it again obey is the action honor is the attitude the attitude because parents you know when your kids obey you but they roll their eyes drag their feet do it as slowly as possible everything in their body language is defiant but they're doing the bare minimum you ask for don't you feel blessed doesn't it honor you no no it's both and young people god makes you a promise if you honor your parents god will honor you that's the promise honor you maybe even give you a long life so it's so specific so comfortable i want my kids to be comfortable leasing to be comfortable before disclosure the best seats in the family room the most comfortable of the comfortable seats go to dad mom mom and dad the husband and wife we get the most comfortable seats now the kids are not as comfortable why well here's truth be told i want the kids to feel in my house loved i want them to feel esteemed i want them to feel valued and someday i want them to leave my firstborn you are awesome but someday you need to leave someday you need to leave not not yet not yet someday you need to leave someday it is time to leave that's good it's right there it's good have a seat brother that's good awesome thank you man i love you too god bless for being here that's a good seat so someday they leave so if you raise your kids right you raise them and release them you raise them and release them that's that's what we do so so listen um if things blow up like a adult child thinks what they can come back home come back home and and kind of recharge and heal up and then leave again charlie when you have kids someday i hope you will come back with your kids and i'll be a grandparent oh that'll be bring your kids back and stay three four days and then leave so the spouse she stays and the children they they leave they leave so if you are 47 without a job living in mama's basement i need to leave all right furniture furniture how about this how about this tv tv give it up if you have a tv in your family room make some noise tv in your family room put in the chat you have a tv i know wait see me all didn't clap you don't have a tv no tv oh you are so spiritual you just read the bible all the time all you do is read the bible and pray god bless you i'm not that spiritual i i highly recommend you get the biggest best brightest tv you can afford without violating dave ramsey financial peace principles i got a big tv in my family room because i love sports and i enjoy a tv and again some people don't watch tv i respect that but ours is a tv family and the tv comes with some technology and this piece of technology is wonderful but it also can be a very selfish piece of technology now i proudly preached before the remote control has been perfectly designed by god in heaven to fit perfectly in the hand of the father i mean i bought the tv i picked out the tv i hired the guy who put the tv on the wall right the tv the tv and i have my shows my shows my shows i have my shows i have i like to watch on my big tv my shows but lisa here's a crazy name at least at least we're married 20 plus years and biblically speaking husband and wife we're we're a one flesh relationship and though we're one flesh relationship she likes different shows we're probably weird we're probably strange we're probably the only messy couple that we like different shows i like certain shows she likes other shows probably we're probably a relational anomaly i'm sure there's no other couples where she likes one show and you like a different show anybody else any other couples where you don't like exactly the same shows daryl lynn you and addison don't like the same shows oh my goodness y'all don't like the shape don't like the same shows all right so so here's where it is i could say look biblically speaking i'm the man i'm the husband i'm the father i am the the leader of the house i bought the tv i paid for it i bring home we're watching my shows and i would i would be very alone because there's other tvs they go wash their room and stuff so here's what i've just done this is just me because one of the biggest principles in relationships is selfishness here's the theme verse for today it's on the screen right now philippians 2 3. this is an amazing verse you read if you didn't read anything else because you're not an out loud reader i get it because you're cool and quiet and one word read the one word today put the one word in the chat here we go do nothing from i should just come out and read those four words and said amen go home if i would just do that all the time i'd every every relationship i have would be better healthier more nurturing more encourage every not just family relate friendships work relationships you know selfishness selfishness or empty conceit but with humility of mine regard one another is more important other people is more important than me god don't you know how important i think i am selfishness gosh i battle being selfish my remote my tv my programs my preferences my desires my taste i bring me to every circumstance i bring me to every environment i bring me to every conversation i talk about me while you're talking i'm thinking about what i want to say next how does this affect me i mean church church we're not going to park my car where are we going to put my kids oh someone's sitting in my seat not your seat by the way your name's not on it man i got things to do i hope david preaches short me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me uh i'm always on my mind and that myistic attitude is the antithesis of intimacy and relationships so bible's saying do nothing so here's the way because i gotta break this down give you applications so i've decided though i have my shows i like to watch my shows i try to look for a common ground what's something i can i can share with someone else i haven't found a single show that wins for the whole family at these ages could when they were small but not now so i find with each member of my family something i can watch with them that we kind of share the moment so zayn now when zane was a little small he's 12 now but he was like one two oh my gosh those kids shows are horrible aren't they those kids shows if right now bless your heart if you're watching the wiggles with your two-year-old god bless you in jesus name and i i pray that some day soon you will wiggle out of the wiggles or oh gosh man way back when young people play the show called barney about this giant lizard he was a sin before the lord a purple abomination so with zayn because he was my third time through this we we wiggled all the wiggles as quickly as we could and we got to disney channels they're watching shows like gravity falls and now at 12 superhero shows man he loves hero shows so we're watching one division together watched it last night new episode came out uh amanda laurie and mandalore and baby otis we watch all those agents of shields we spend that time together we we compromise common ground charlie you're the easiest because you're a dude so we watch sports together you like any movie that's silly adam sandler and stuff charlie loves that kind uh parks and recreation you and i watched every episode of any parks fan in the house great show watched every episode a couple times he was easy his sister was tougher his sister because she's a girl she likes e-channel and celebrities and i don't like that i don't understand that in riverdale i didn't get that one and she got really into lost like really late to lost but she she started watching lost and i get lost watching lost and and so i'm like what do i watch with this kid and finally we settled on harry potter she loved the harry potter movies i'm like i can watch harry potter movies or adam we watch them over and over and i'd take her to universal we'd write harry potter and stuff so you look for those things you can you can engage in the other person's life but the toughest one was lisa now yeah single people back when we were dating she loved monday night football man she loved monday night football hey how about arnold schwarzenegger movie the roddick oh i love those kind of action movie that's great then we watched all that stuff and then we get married and 15 minutes after we get married she's like you know i really don't like football true story i'm like what you don't like so here's a takeaway for the single people especially your love you're engaged couple thoughts if you're engaged right now and you're in love you're as dumb as a bag of hammers your emotions have overridden all the wiring in your brain so listen to smart people around you who give you counsel especially spiritual people and when you get married a few small things are going to change a few small things are going to change just love people so lisa had a harder time so guys i had to work and really had to come into her world so right now we're watching uh jane the virgin yeah but it's not the most manly show out there watching jane the virgin and i'll really have to swing my man card for this one i um i finally had to join her and started watching because she doesn't do monday night football uh h g tv my brothers don't think less of me hgtv and here here's the trick with this because you know do nothing out of selfishness i can't watch it with her like not my show don't like this show your that work i get a joiner so i've learned guess what i like chip and joanna man they're they're fun people baylor grads i went to baylor i i uh house house hunters international i now wonder hey what does that 3-2 ranch go for in bogota colombia i'm kind of curious and the crazy thing is after all these years she's finally come back to football she's come back to football but it has nothing to do with me nothing to do with me some people entered our life do you have a doorbell in your house you have a doorbell near oh there's the doorbell and occasionally someone rings your doorbell and is a wonderful couple or people you want to invite into your life into your family room and at least night now for like seven years have a wonderful couple they're part of our life we love them completely some of you guys are here just to meet them and so they're part of our church family he has this interesting job plays for a little something called the nfl won the 2019 comeback player of the year and uh she is this amazing smart um i'm gonna just bring him out would you please stand your feet and put your hands together and welcome my wife lisa and ryan and lauren tannehill to the [Applause] stage perfect can we see you guys thank you so much and listen being in all these services with preschoolers i know it's not a small thing i know it's been a sacrifice you guys get such limited time thank you on behalf of our church for carving out a weekend to hang out with cbg excited to be here just before we get started what is up church by the glee well played well played my name's ryan i'm one of the attendees here all right so good so good so lisa where do we start with these two they have a great marriage we know you guys well they get two beautiful kids your kids names ages stella is two and a half and steel is four and a half and they are so cute yeah beautiful kids and everything like all preschoolers are so you guys navigating gosh you're navigating marriage and a very high profile life and then two preschoolers so how did it get started how did you guys how did you guys meet because i think some people look at you and you're a beautiful couple ryan's an nfl quarterback and it's like of course she married a quarterback of course a quarterback married a girl looks like her but that's not you weren't a cheerleader for the dolphins i mean tell them how you guys how you guys met we met in college on spring break in the classy and fabulous panama city redneck riviera yes we both went to a m and he was 20 and i was 21. and uh i don't know the rest is history what else is there babe yeah so we met on spring break where everyone goes to meet their future wife or husband obviously um but it worked out you know we started dating immediately after that that uh that meeting there and you guys didn't know each other you went to you say a m not florida and we went to texas a m and uh and you know each other from college you met on spring break went to the same school yeah i went to the same school and just through mutual french happened to meet there in panama city and found out we went to the same school and super excited about it obviously she looked good so i was excited about that but uh as i got to know her she just stayed in the office and um you know more beautiful on the inside than she was in the outside and sweet and at that point you did not know you were going to be a football player no he was pre-med he wanted to be a doctor i was communications but i was working for doctors and so once we kind of fell in love he was going to be a doctor i was going to go to school to be a nurse and i was going to be his nurse now ryan you were playing football in college but you weren't even playing quarterback you're playing receiver right wide receiver yeah so i went to the a m as a quarterback a little sidestep started playing receiver met her while i was playing receiver so it wasn't always a glitz and glam of quarterback and nfl and everything like that i was a broke college kid just like most every other college kid living on a on a small amount of money eating microwave dinners and stoppers lasagnas i had a very limited like 68 bucks a week for everything for everything you know if i wanted a new shirt or to eat dinner it came out of that that money so i was i was hoarding my food i had you know a limited amount of stores lasagnas and i wasn't willing to share i only had one per night so i would invite her over after i ate dinner to make sure that she wasn't eating my lasagna but i've grown since then i'm not hopefully not as selfish as now as i was now well you guys fell in love you've been we we know you pretty well so you've been married how long now nine years so ten years ten's a big one good gift for 10. yeah what would you say because you were newly married when you moved to florida you're thrown into this crazy world of spotlight and football what would you say is kind of your foundation that gets you guys through it was jesus and um i feel like the more that yeah this is the this is the right place for that answer the more that um i look to jesus first and that he looks to jesus first we're brought closer and that's the foundation for our marriage and it has gotten stronger and stronger with time and due to this church we went from two believers but honestly i didn't really know how to walk i just didn't even know what that meant and this church has taught us how to apply it to our life and to walk and it has made every single bump along the way ridable you know because they're gonna come yeah just keeping jesus at the foundation has just been so important for us um when you're able to honor and serve god by loving and serving your spouse it changes that dynamic because there's a lot of times where you know maybe there's a little friction maybe she's kind of on on my nerves or i'm on her nerves and and you don't really feel like me no um theoretically yeah theoretically this doesn't happen to us obviously um but you may not really feel like doing it for your spouse in that moment but if you can take a step back in and realize okay god has called me to love my my wife and serve my wife then i'm actually doing it for god and not for her and so that helps me get through some of those those tough moments um when i may not be feeling the most giving all right so one thing is we've had this conversation a couple times now on stage and again we know you guys you guys are very intentional you're intentional about your career you're intentional about your spiritual life you're intentional about your marriage uh tell me someplace lauren that you feel like you guys are intentional relationship wise okay so i think it's super important to connect with your spouse or anyone relationally where they're at so for us when we came here um i was super scared of the water or not of just the water but was below the water so every time that we went out like on the ocean i thought that there was like a great white waiting for me to get in so he could eat me so he decided that we decided we want to get a boat and then we got scuba certified and then because he's crazy athletic we had to take it to the next level and now we're free diving and now we're spear fishing and the sharks love that by the way um it's it's a it's a bleeding fish on a stick that we did for him so anyways um in an effort to connect with him i got over my fear and did something with him that was important to him and now it's become like one of our favorite things to do together and i say that to say it's not always easy to do things that your spouse is into or that your children are into or that your friends are into but when you you want to really connect and love on them and the way they need to you have to sometimes do things that you don't want to do and it's a good way to love your people and you you do excite years ago the first time we know you guys and we're on the boat with you i watched you like tying off a cleat like a ninja oh she's she's a bodhi girl and i had no idea i know you guys are from texas not near the water that you had this resistance or fear but you decided to kind of go past that and involve yourself and do it wholeheartedly yeah i wanted to be his partner and i feel like that is what made him feel so loved is that i was all in wow it's so good yeah i think intentionality is is important in all relationships not just spousal relationship but friendships and parents to kids things don't just happen in a good way most of the time like if you don't put an attention to it if you don't make conscious decisions in order to make your relationship better in order to make your child feel loved and appreciated and led in the right way yeah in your work and how you do there and your friendships and making sure your friends feel supported and loved things don't just naturally happen most of the time you're gonna have to put that intention into it make those consecutive intentional decisions in order to send your marriage in the right direction to send your relationship with your kid in the right direction because like i said it doesn't doesn't just happen so it takes constant decisions for us every each and every day to try to do those things that end up helping us out and and you know wouldn't want it any other way you guys are so intentional i remember when mack and julie richard were here doing a parenting seminar and then q a lauren and ryan showed up and this was like steel's four and a half this was about two years before they had steel and i thought is lauren pregnant and she wasn't but they knew that at some point they wanted to have kids so they were going to be intentional about it even if it was two years ahead of time they took pages of notes yeah it wasn't wasn't even on the on the radar at that point you know we weren't trying or anything but we knew parenting's hard and we knew nothing about it besides you know our own experiences so wanted to try to start learning from other people and people who do it really well and i think mac and julia are great examples of that i think that's important in every relationship whether it's parenting or marital relationships you're surrounding yourself with people who do it well and do it like like god has called us to do it so you know david and lisa have been amazing for us in uh in every aspect of being friends of leading us spiritually and and parents as well you know we think we wouldn't be able to do it you know without those people and she mentioned mac and julie you know lauren reached out to julie just this past week on on a parenting question so having those people in your life that can pour into your family pour into your relationships and lead you in a christ-centered way are crucially important to making sure you end up and have the relationships that you want to have and the church is where that that happens i know a lot of people most people come from dysfunction so it sounds like easy like okay they're saying to do it like this if you don't know how if you come here and you get plugged in here you'll find the people to lead you that way and that's how you do it and it goes both ways so you know we're older you guys and we've our kids are older than your kids at the same time it's coming full circle because now my daughter's out dating and stuff and she'll call lisa some of me some but she calls you lauren and i love the fact that my 19 year old is reaching out to lauren for advice and just on random stuff but relational stuff so it's it's kind of this neat synergy between you know families helping each other do family better um how about this so your schedule ryan has a real rhythm you know you have off season we have way more free time then what does it look like because lisa you and i were so surprised but how hard he has to work and how long i had no idea i just thought that if you're as good at football as you obviously are it was like you know you throw the ball a few times a week you wear the outfit and play madness get the outfit on run around with your friends and you know try to scream his so i actually i'm kind of ready for ryan to go back to work because they spend so much time together during his off season that i prefer when you're in season but um give them an idea of what your work day is like because it's nice and how do you guys build your time in when you spend a lot of hours at the facility yeah so during season my days are long on a typical work day i'll leave the house by six and get home 7 30 or so so it's a long day you're tired at the end of it and that's where intentionality comes in as you know i'm not the only one with a busy busy job right hundreds of people here have had busy lives busy jobs you have kids that you're running around um you know taking to practices and extra curricular activities and stuff like that so unless you're intentional about setting some time aside it's not going to happen for us that's friday nights we put a a mark on our calendar every friday night during season we're going to spend time together we're going to put our phones down we're going to go to dinner and really just focus on each other and really connect you know for that period of time whether it's an hour or two hours or three hours that we're able to spend together we're gonna we're gonna do that and i think that's been crucial for our relationship and you guard that time in fact you have a policy with phones during that time what's that lauren yeah no phones on dates and no phones at dinner time i think it just allows you to really connect because our phones can be so distracting by the way nobody clapped for that i'm just pointing out like one subtle clap somewhere over here it's a great idea actually uh so so you have to really carve out town now one thing i'll say this because we know you guys well we've traveled with you uh ryan i do when you especially off season when you have some time you're intentional about that you're a very hands-on dad i mean you're your bedtimes your poopy diapers you do the whole thing how important is that time to you as far as getting that time with your kids well it's huge i love being a dad you know i think um there's not much in in life that gets better than than being a dad and feeling that love from your kid and i don't get a lot of time during season so when i do have a little bit more time i want to try to spend that time with the kids and really connect and and do things with them we have such amazing kids and the love that we share is amazing so i do try to soak up that time and and really it's not a chore right it's my duty as a dad to love and build up my kids and and try to lead them in the right way i think it's just that perspective of having a get to mentality instead of a have to and i think that's important in all of our relationships so good how about this so communication because you guys are big on that and both you guys are great with your words lauren i want to make you laura was nervous to do this and she's so great with her ideas and her words so i kind of leveraged the new friendship card i had thank you for doing this doing great all weekend long but you know when he is working during those long hours in your home the mom of two preschoolers what's communication look like for you guys when he comes home and he's tired and you're just dying for a grown-up to talk to so i think over the years that's probably gotten better because when he first came when he the first few years i probably talked to him like an in like an auctioneer when he got home just like firing off questions i want to know everything and and he's like he's already his day's and he's already spent so now i feel like we have a better rhythm i have other relationships i get my words count count in during the season and when he gets home um that's a really intentional time for me that i get off the phone i try to have the house tidied up i try to have dinner ready i try to have the kids clean and ready to go so that he can just enjoy the kids and i am them up because the most important part the most important person in our world is about to get home and i want him to be feel celebrated for the king that he is to us it works it really does it's it's the highlight of my day no matter if i had an amazing day at work or a absolutely terrible day at work coming in the door and my kids run into me give me hugs and getting a hug and kiss my wife is the highlight of my day each and every day so it works and it can have a huge impact on uh just your overall morale definitely on a day-to-day basis something as simple as how we greet each other in the homes yeah uh so so with my family you know the little guy was always a big greeter when they're little they do it better right a little run to see you and they get to a certain point like hey dad whatever so i remember being gone on trips you know ministry or fishing for a few days i'd come home and when the big kids were bigger they'd be on the couch on their devices and zane would run and greet me and hug me and they would just barely acknowledge me so one time i reached in my pocket and i pulled out a 20 bill and i said zane greeting people is a wonderful life skill thank you so much for doing this with that point charlie and victoria hopped off the couch so i'm like yeah like too late too late try again so i will occasionally bribe my kids for good behavior trying to reinforce things like that intentional okay here's one if i can really step in your world so how about intentionality when it comes to intimacy intimacy yeah i think that's really important and i think it's over talked about outside of marriage and under talked about inside marriage um it was made by god for marriage and it's great in marriage and it should be consistent in marriage hello and i think that um the desire aspect is just as important as the actual act so in our house if the if if the desire aspect isn't there it doesn't count so so desire both parts not just desiring you a man wants to feel desired by his wife totally and it's interesting how when that's very consistent communication connection everything just kind of flows like god designed it for that reason and it flows more easily when it's done in that way the whole relationship is intertwined right so the more that i make her feel loved and heard and we're emotionally connected the more she desires me and things work out so it's all it's all interconnected and you kind of figure those things out over time you know david mentioned coming home after a long day at work and lauren's such a great communicator that she once has a lot of things to tell me and so um early on it could have been a point of friction force contention where you know i didn't really want to talk she wanted to talk and we might have a disagreement well we've kind of learned over the years what works for us and she'll just give me a nudge or encourage me and say like hey i don't feel like you're hearing me or i don't feel like um you're understanding like what i what i'm trying to say and that's just the nudge i need so instead of being contentious with me she just gives me a slight nudge and it kind of wakes me up and clicks me and i'm like okay that's great i'm not loving her and i'm like making her feel loved the way i need to so that's been huge for us in a lot of different areas of just trying to nudge each other instead of you know being angry or having hard feelings and it's really helped us out and i think timing is really important i think as i've matured i like i don't nudge him on saturday or sunday um so i think knowing your husband like during season yeah during season yeah no not at all because we have one goal and when he wins i win and so if you treat your life like that and your marriage like that it just makes for a lot more joy between the two of you um because i don't want to take away from him and i and i do communicate with him how i feel and i am very vocal um but i do tell him another thing i tell him is my love tank's getting a little empty and it helps him like just send me a nice text i mean a text takes three seconds you know like it's just really little things that but i think a really great marriage is a compilation of a lot of intentional little moments no doubt yeah very well said i gotta let you guys go but kind of one last question this is about your career ryan you have been on fire the last two years you've been just at the top of your game literally by all the statistics they measure quarterback efficiency you're among the elites in the nfl uh in the playoffs last two years but there was a hard patch in between as you kind of transition from the dolphins to the titans so how does a a marriage and how does a man weather a setback or a storm like that it was a huge setback for me personally it was tough and in every aspect it was tough emotionally it was tough just professionally i got demoted i got fired basically and and sent to another team i don't know if anyone here has dealt with with something similar but it's not a good feeling you're basically getting rejected and rejection hurts no matter how it comes mine was very public rejection but uh if you're not a football fan so you're a starter for the dolphins when they trade you the titans you're you're on the bench yeah i was going to be back up um so not only did i get sent to another team but i got i got demoted so just really hard time hard time all the way around moving we have so many friends and deep roots here in south florida from our seven years here and getting sent you know new city new friends knew everything it was just a lot a lot of new and a lot of hard adjustments to make but having our faith to to fall back on you know really you know held us sperm and that was our foundation lauren and the kids were obviously huge she supported me and had my back throughout the the entire process which was amazing and you know i wouldn't be where i am probably obviously without without her support over the uh over the adjustment and transition and i think it's just really important that our identity is in christ and not of this world right wow say that again because when it's important that our identity is in christ and not of this world and um for us if we chased after the approval of the world or god bless us if we chased after the comments of instagram we would never be happy um but when you chase after who you know christ and who he says you are then you'll always have joy no matter what so lauren you need to preach you need to preach something that's phenomenal and that's so important for especially ryan for men because men you ask a guy what do they do they won't see a husband or a fight they'll say they'll talk about their job and uh our identity has to be bigger than that i mean someday i'll retire but athletes retire early and if all your identity is wrapped up in your athleticism and you're done some are done in their twenties and they athleticism identity since they're six no wonder they struggle yeah yeah i think you know it's easy to get wrapped up in your job no matter what your job is and that can become who you are you know someone asked you know what are you i'm an athlete i'm uh i'm an attorney or whatever it may be your identity starts to become that so unless you consciously take a step back and say that's what i do not who i am it's easy to get wrapped up in that and so when that ends whether it's gracefully on your own decision or you get fired or whatever you get moved on uh you have your own identity away from what you do in order to fall back on because you know who you are in christ and what he says you are in his word so i know that that gives me a lot of security it gives me a lot of confidence knowing that no matter what happens on the football field no matter you know what happens in the rest of my career i know who i am in christ and what he's called me to be wow and on that brilliant note we love you guys we're honored to be your pastors we're very honored to be your friends and we love the authenticity the integrity just that you guys listen they're exactly who you think they are this is not manufactured at all they're just a great couple a little messy but really marvelous and we love you guys give it up for ryan lauren tana hill wow hey go ahead you can stand don't leave yet just quick word if you're here just you remain standing we'll cut you loose thank you for coming i hope you enjoyed that obviously you did uh don't miss next week with matty pruitt great chance to invite people love the bachelor leverage that leverage that i'm not just trying to bring out maddie pruitt i'm trying to give you a chance to invite someone who can hear less about jesus but they like the bachelor why because this great god we're talking about is all-powerful and he's creative and he's sovereign but he's loving he's relational and what god wants for you based on the bible is not a religion he wants a relationship so if you're here today without the advantage in life of a personal relationship with god that first thing that foundation ryan lauren talked about this is your day why would you live one more hour one more day without nailing that down so at every campus prayer partners will be the edge of the stage you give yourself my faith to christ today and if you're watching online there's a number coming up on the screen 954-328-1919 i think it is you i wouldn't even close whatever's on the screen right now you text that real live person will go ahead and respond to you help you navigate life's greatest decisions let me pray for you we'll see you again next week father thank you so much that you created relationships we're all messy messy families but infuse our families our marriages our parenting our friendships with your grace in jesus name amen

Channel: Church by the Glades

Views: 2,613

Rating: 4.8888888 out of 5

Keywords: church by the glades, cbglades, fort lauderdale, coral springs, tamarac, margate, sample road, lake worth, miami, broward county, church, church service, sermon, creativity, music, south florida, message, fun

Id: GER-giVxnU4

Length: 50min 43sec (3043 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 21 2021