Some Of The FUNNIEST Audience Interactions | Jimmy Carr

don't forget the balls that's you you really do care what about you from sir you're from New York what are you doing over here do you mind me asking you do something you moved here for work what sort of work do you do I mean I'm not suggesting I need to see your papers but you bringing to the party finance and I.T I can't really think what that is that cash points looking at ATMs foreign language you ruined it [Applause] [Music] yeah next time you have a fight with someone stop getting us involved [Applause] for us to be speaking German sorry if it wasn't for you we'd be speaking German how little do you know about our language abilities foreign there's no way we'd have picked it up in 60 years [Applause] has anyone in here been flashed don't what happened is there a funny story or is it distressing in a club in a club and someone flash you in the club are you sure you didn't go off with a man in a club I was kissing him under the zip and then he flashed me don't mind what happened tell me tell me the story middle of the dance floor and he was throwing some shapes and one of his was so to get rid of the guy your friend told him you were lesbians oh these two started but then they liked it so they stuck with it I did did that work she said we don't like so sorry so someone flat someone got his cockat in the middle of the dance floor in a club and you went oh no sorry we're lesbians you could have just told him to off you're incredibly polite I'll make up an excuse so he doesn't feel bad I don't want the Flasher to feel rejected how nice are you has anyone else been flashed you got arrested for flashing well don't take it out on me what do you mean you got arrested for flashing well I was I was going for a piss you're going for a piss he sounds like to me oh face why were you going for a bit get set the scene for us I've never met anyone that's Flash come on let's go for piss in a primary school got in a car park okay in a car park outside you're going for a piss caught short late at night fine okay you went up against a tree turned out wasn't true as a fat girl go on so you walked up to a tree to take a pee in a car park this doesn't sound terrible so far I'm on this guy's side go on there was a woman in the trees there was a woman in the trees sounds like you've broken dogging etiquette by pissing on someone so you went up to take a piss on a tree and there was a woman in the tree she was walking there's a pathway she was walking okay and it was outside a police station kind of a idiot are you you went for a piss in the police station car park why don't you just turn yourself in Cry for Help If Ever I heard one lock me up before I hurt someone and what did she scream did she come down what happened she went into the police station and uh they came out and arrested me for indecent exposure they came out and arrested you for indication is it because you're a bit Ginger off if you hadn't been quite as he's liked as well we could well be giving you skin cancer I don't I think I'm on your side there if you're taking a piss that's not in Disney exposure is it what do you think are we on this guy's side there's one man no stop pissing outside you crazy fool because there was a woman in the other night with a story she said oh I got flashed and then she told me the story and I wasn't sure she said I said has anyone being flashed she went yeah I got flashed in Disneyland I said I'm all ears she said I was in Disneyland Florida I was walking in past the hotels in Disneyland and uh into the park and I looked up at one of the hotels and the guy was opening his bedroom curtains flashed me I said no he didn't you are a Peeping Tom foreign right good any questions so far lost how old yeah grammar we're in a hurry how lazy is that how old not how old are you or would you mind telling us how old you are how old [Applause] well I have a guess how old do you think I am you think I'm 12. well you shouldn't even be having those kind of thoughts about me then you know they've done that in Mexico do you know what the age of consent is in Mexico it's 12. that's one way to deal with a pedophilia problem isn't it I imagine they've still got a problem she looked well to me I forget you you know well it's a big deal for me recording a DVD I thought I'd take a little photo watch her she likes you watching her pee so sorry the question I get asked that every show it's weird that you would ask that so because she likes a lot of people to watch Opie um is that your thing you like people to watch you pee well clearly yes he didn't say that for no reason did he do you remember earlier when you said he was a feeder for making you dress up as a school girl I think it might be payback time but surely you could just dress her as a schoolgirl and have a do a wee on you that's fine that plays into your whole pedo fantasy everyone's happy apart from anyone with any sort of sense of taste and decency horrified by you too what's your name sir well sorry southwell yeah definitely I need a surname for this I'm not in charge of the register don't worry about that okay so one what is it about being watched P that you enjoy as we're all interested to know what you do so what is it like [Music] I just think if you live with someone you should feel comfortable enough to do anything in front of him [Applause] [Music] I'm all fortnite Madam yes once you've you know once you've been with someone there's a level of intimacy that suggests that you would be able to pee in front of them all or maybe on their chest but some people aren't like us baby some people don't think in the way they're closed-minded they've got a sense of I don't know appropriate occasion [Laughter] it's all right we're not taping this but oh no we are foreign lovely golden showers everyone's dressed up it's a Saturday night let's start things properly let's have a round of applause for the ladies let's have a round yeah let's have a round of course yeah yeah quite right yeah that's probably enough looking around some of them have made no effort oh bless him oh no lie look at you I thought you'll come in there's I haven't made much of an effort well there's some cameras and some lights I don't know what you had in mind it's not like I come to your work and not the sailor's out your mouth is it [Applause] [Music] [Applause] seems like a very weird thing from a quite a tough looking man from Glasgow to say I have not made much of an effort I thought you'd be dressed up prithia it's a little bit prison rape coming from you sir my point there's an incredible amount of pressure on women these days to be beautiful and thin and all I can say is we've got some very brave girls in here this evening terrific stuff there are some stunning looking women in here this evening and some right dogs You Know Who You Are I'm joking no one in here is stunning go right in the back excellent it's not nice to hear that because often when I go to comedy shows and I go to them all the time I love coming out to see Live Comedy the thing is though if I'm sat right at the back I'm a little bit disappointed let's get my ticket go oh for sake I'm miles away but there are of course advantages to being right at the back you get more of a sense of theater of people coming together and sharing a sense of humor what a wonderful thing that is the Great British musical spirit and also if you're right at the back this sort of thing won't happen I your mum foreign that's not going to happen to any of you I've got nothing but respect for your mums they're hard-working decent women your monster owes me a tenor I'm joking oh her antenna Bluff I'm your real dad kidding no one knows who your real dad is amazing your mum there is it sorry [Applause] this is a bit awkward uh hello sir he's brilliant in bed didn't you well sorry I don't remember what that's the thing that annoys you foreign well thankfully you all seem to be laughing you all seem to have taken that quite well what's your name sir [Music] Julio how did you know you were having a gay the most annoying thing my sister does is that show Chatty Man that's the most annoying Heckle that I get at gigs I like him when people join in I like a bit of a Heckle a bit of fun but the most annoying one I get is when I've set up a joke just about to do the punchline and someone goes it's all invariably it's the same thing so his words Allen where's Ellen it's not my like bet Noir it's just a bit annoying where's Ellen [Applause] it's your dad [Applause] I think we all knew including him I think we all knew that was a trap I could feel you as one going hold hold and then one brave soul over there said no now I'm taking one for the team rather your daddy's I'm not my own mum thought I was gay when I was 19 my Mom was convinced I was gay it's very difficult to convince your mum you're not gay so we got a camcorder I was but I'm what's referred to as a gay friendly Act you know I'm a gay friendly act I was asked last November to judge Mr Gay UK I said it would be my pleasure he's against nature and against God he's going to hell I think it's okay to tell that joke because it's almost impossible to offend a homosexual man you know because let's face it they're doing that for fun if your idea of a good time is a in your ass what do you care we've all thought about gay sex haven't we you've thought about gay sex haven't you said no you haven't thought about gay sex you just leapt in there and him well my honestly sound your bravery so I thought oh my can get covered in poo you're snickery what's your name non lady who Move Along what are you saying Vicky dance for me monkey boy to your fella what do you mean he's either your fellow or he isn't is he is he your fella yeah sorry she's saying yes and you're saying no and you're just look you've gone really red and you look really embarrassed they're buddies oh I see what how very modern Calvary 2005. so you're not going out with each other but you are buddies that is fantastic can we just all take a moment to you know congratulate that man there is a lot of work has gone into that a lot of work has gone into that he's had to buy a Cosmopolitan for a couple of years sorry and they'll know that you were doing a little hussy foreign so old-fashioned I should be able to stay with whoever I want to sleep with and so should you as long as it's just me when I say yeah there'll be a lot of jokes it's not every day I get to talk to a slag come on now I don't know where the Mark is until I overstep it that's mine you just did that is juvenile that sorry for those of you that didn't see that it'll be on the DVD available at all good car boots Vicky's response to that yeah she's been called a slag at a show that's not good in anyone's book and I apologize for that unreservedly but did you really need to do that God bless you well that brings me very neatly onto the next bit of material who here's got kids but kind of was that what sorry all right Jimmy what what is this you chipped in with something you said go on Jimmy all right ironically slowing things down foreign is anyone in from around the country you're from London where are you from what about you from Sir you're From Doncaster and you're down here just for the lights foreign people oh I was inside it was like a cave but it was like daytime at night couldn't head in a tail candles yes they're like candles for you it's lovely to have you walk off back [Music] New Zealand how's it going over there is it all right it's not bad you still having that problem with Sarah man and he's orc Army foreign [Applause] sorry that's it's like a horrible racist joke from the 70s hello hello to you what sorry you're from Seven Oaks but you said hello that wasn't you why are you talking then what do you do madam you're a student what are you studying drama really you know I always say the same thing whenever I meet a drama student an aspiring actress or an actor I always say the same thing to any aspiring actor or an actress I meet I always say I'll have a coffee please [Music] I was in Newcastle recently I was in the back of a cab in Newcastle and the cab driver said to me there's no red light district in Newcastle because that's how they talk if you're in Newcastle for the weekend it's most disconcerting because you find yourself thinking is everyone trying to start sing song and I just don't know the words there's no red light district in Newcastle I hadn't asked incidentally I hadn't gone the back of a cab in Newcastle and said take me to the prostitutes my good man just how prefer of nothing this boat went to me there's no Red Lake Street in Newcastle no I didn't say anything because you're quite a big tough Geordie bloke but I did think to myself I tell you why no need two Bacardi Breezers and the deal is done it's the kind of town where if you've got money enough for chips guess what great news you're not going home on your own it was a nice little smile there just as if to say I'll tell you what I like chips and can you what just keep a little bit quiet for a second I've just noticed there's a man over there that pit in a blue jumper I think he might be asleep if you could just keep quiet around him just shush oh and he's woken hello you're having a weird dream aren't you I wouldn't fall asleep again some something very bad will happen I was going to teabag him it's annoying isn't it sounds like it would have been a very popular choice what's your name Stephen you had to have a little thing though didn't you oh and what'd you do Stephen you're a footballer who who do you play for stran ra he's a footballer he plays for stran ra okay I'm at football as well mate don't worry about it that's fine don't worry about that don't feel bad strand run is that five aside is it you've got a full team wonderful well I bet you're all great kicker you lazy try and pay attention it's not like people fall asleep when strand rap like oh no hang on that's a bad analogy hahaha you lazy hi I'm Jimmy Carr the guy you just saw in that video thanks for watching it because uh somehow I get money from that I don't know how I don't I don't know but probably probably it filters through some sort of advert that you watch before you watch the video maybe or maybe you subscribed anyway thanks for watching it and somehow that benefits me and hopefully I'll see you at a live show at some point further down the sunny Road good luck

Channel: Jimmy Carr

Views: 750,384

Keywords: jimmy carr, jimmy carr stand up, jimmy carr insults, jimmy carr heckle, jimmy carr funniest moments, jimmy carr comedy, jimmy car comedy special, your face or mine, jimmy carr laugh, 8 out of 10 cats, satire, roast of bruce willis, heckle and jeckle, heckler throws beer at comedian, jimmy carr heckler mom, jimmy carr heckler reactions, jimmy carr roast of rob lowe, jimmy carr roast pete davidson

Id: y7uCVGY0M1M

Length: 23min 47sec (1427 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 24 2022