snl moments that light up my sketchers

[Music] clint eastwood take one welcome to jurassic park [Music] how has being gay and chinese prevented you from being happy it's like they always say when life hands you a severed head you put the mouth on your dingus anna kristoff olaf i'm gay is anyone there did you hear cody's great grandmother died the funeral is monday camden can i see you stand like a mayor oh my god no the mayor has two lines this is not happening no camden mayoral stance mime suspenders please no no no no no no god no no ouch that's a nasty ginsburn [Applause] [Music] and for queer cast members what's it like to do comedy in a world that cavalierly mocks your very existence that is the last resort of the loopy local left who hate this president and his thick mack daddy energy what are you talking about i don't know whether we're heading north south gay or west did you say gay no oh sure oh you want me i know it but we're at work we can't a woman of my stature with a brood accustomed to manual labor oh yeah i'm a big boy tell god gracias [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thanks babe you want some god um i don't like gum moonlight la la land you have a fulfilling heterosexual marriage at the age of 18 and i've just spent two home movies playing with snow both are equal and good and then in frozen three i can just freeze my eggs [Applause] okay there were times that i would smoke you know what crack this is sheriff mccafferty what's the emergency i'm sorry did you just kind of gently whisper the word birds you can tell that i enjoy security you can search way up in my you can pat me down you don't have to use the front of your hands okay if you're irish or just white and violent would i come to rural scandinavia at least we made this frozen world die first oh yeah it's a real rainbow of colors now i'll let you down well well uh congrats oh you could put that away donna whatever your bitch-ass name is if they want an evening to remember i have the perfect spot new york's hottest club is boof sister you're looking chilly why don't you put on this scarf without the boat constrictor oh so it is i thought it was a pashmina edith [ __ ] [Music] um i'm sorry i said edith [ __ ] um i'm flattered man but no thank you the birds they just murdered a man to death i'm more than welcome to leave who you are more than welcome to leave luigi you are [Music] men welcome to me you understand hey don't you dare yell at my wife i'll hit you over the head with my dog here's some i am a red-blooded american boy after all the mongolian speaks the truth no they set fire to the gas station sir i cannot explain no no no no you just said that a bird set fire to a gas station so you need to explain that to me my name is theresa i talked to the dead okay yeah i'm seeing your husband yeah he's in a very bad place he looks a mess he looks terrible yeah hey thank you i'm up to my ass and bows bows all type of bows chicks [Applause] [Music] i can help myself [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] outro [Music] [Laughter] and you must obey me because i am your king or queen you figure it out i feel like your parenting style isn't really paying off hi lady i like your bangs sister your breath it's hot garbage here why don't you pop this little mint oh why that's an actual bomb jody foster as mr dna sometimes a mosquito like a cotton i was so sticky could you try it a little happier this is the happiest i've ever been today is my birthday we'll see about that guys guys what's happening that's right it's the fast and the buy chairs marcy hill a stay at home mother of none from orlando works hottest club is spicy is that spicy spicy if you like fast comments hot nights and gay stuff then buddy this is the movie for you hey just kidding hey feliz navidad huh [Applause] we've got your back i lisa broderick have 14 years of lore experience and i graduated top of my class at yale and i am also a lawyer ernie give it to him hell no [ __ ] i know what you need why i have adivan you want that oh yeah little valium oh yeah you like a clotted pin i want something to take me sky high you're two damn fine cops for broads wait what back to the women thing we're back to that to that no no we're past that no no we're [Music] blue yellow green colors and art but how how baller can art be i'm here at a museum to find out when they first started doing art it was a lot older um and they didn't know how to make a pimp but then it was more abstract and now you look at it and it's way more you know [Music] thank you for letting us bust a rap here today we're excited to be the next big thing and me i'm on the same level as her now i'm gonna dance and no one is invited put on my [Music] saying something about rain on that on the way is that okay dawg is that right is that true can you can you say more about the rain for depositations gonna have it and if i'm you cancel at that picnic and get it umbrella and the map we got it wet from here all the way in here and that's that sky and then some within that better is there are some things that are like less better oh i ain't getting that nothing except for my baby carrots i was at a party john ham came up to me i could tell right away he was pretty drunk he pushed me in the corner asked me do you like money because i have an idea that will make a fortune i thought he was joking so i started to laugh his eyes went black and he slapped my face you like an ooey gooey yummy yummy delicious guess i do not would you like a delicious thirsty cheesy get that filled i already had one and i didn't like it can you make out in the words of my hero miss mary j blige mrs green i hope that brought you some peace uh but hey as they say in hockey let's do that hockey attorneys and even we won't touch this first up it's miss trash delaware she's never had a sip of water last week she tried to join isis but they said no thanks andy jonah how do you guys know ben uh he's my dad small world we've been [ __ ] [Applause] he's holding me captive he took my cell phone i haven't seen sunlight oh for days so please call the police before it's too late i have a feeling he's standing right behind me real life bart simpson it's not a name but people like to say go back to your own country yeah or people like to say go back to springfield it's like ignorant are you anthony danvers uh yes i am okay and you're waiting on your pet bunny rabbit tiffany danvers yes i am well tiffany's such a cute name good for you thank you i thought it up she had such cute floppy ears she does i almost named her floppy cute as of 10 a.m this morning she has been dead jesse you've got everything i love in a client you're famous you're probably guilty end of list you're a problem michael no problem at all so glad to be here this life is like a dream come true for me [Music] you are on the thinnest device i know which one you liked the abandoned split level filled with australian vampires yes it had so much closet space and the yard was fenced in so we could let your sister run around and it had my gas stove but it was on the bed um that's okay what's wrong with the plane are we gonna die ma'am from what i do know about these things it does depend on where you're seated i don't know you guys are fine my husband and i have been feeling a little under the weather poor gary has been sneezing all day but with four kids a good night's sleep is essential that's why we need to call him ow mr president here let me [Applause] who's it gonna be lots of tension who's gonna break the tension a woodhouse but in the middle of it i quit hosting too much tension why do you always look so wet why do you do you hatch out of an egg every morning yeah i mean do you go to the kids choice awards before work and get slimed you're a swamp thing hey you a little wet boy oh i get nervous around bucks okay ladies and gentlemen we have decided to land in the ocean courtney you can go ahead and pop that beanie back on if you want if you join with a friend in a friendly song you'll have friendship all day long so come along and sing all day cause that's the maryville brother way [Music] uh american cookie urea no no all right there's a wee thing about a sizzy an audio cookie right i thought it was a keeper baris i hope you're ready we're about to go to third base with your mind which means we're gonna blow it jack your ship kramer knew about the way you anchor e turnover in his grave god no he wouldn't hurt because chef kramer was cremated they burned my friend ladies what's your idea of a romantic evening let's start with contestant number two i guess dinner with a guy who isn't related to me picky picky [Music] i thought she was her young girlfriend jay but it was the wife of dr reginald sanders [Applause] [Music] got blitz by myself and i guess i ate some eggs or something because the next morning i'm sorry this is kind of nasty but i go to the bathroom and an egg just is it comes out and it's still in its shell and i'm like my body is so jacked i can't digest an egg i don't know i know her that's owen's dirter dirter did i stir the dirt has been murdered oh daughter let's take a look at some of the highlights from this season [Music] [Applause] and before i turn around and go like what half my ass is gone which was my best feature and i'm literally injured but all anybody cares about is that like 40 or 50 people died or whatever you please read the indemnification on the back of your vip or axis raptors pass uh i i can't read it it's covered in my friend scott's blood well then move your friend scott's blood around with your finger until you can read it how do you know jack white [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i mean it's kind of cool oh calm sister the admiral hasn't picked yet yes you're right it could definitely still be us the admiral who will he choose the twink so cool and so funny i don't want to be funny i want to be hot darling has the bus come yet darling has the bus gone by darling does the bus stop here darling i need the bus no we're not eating chick-fil-a they're homophobic okay now that is such a neo-liberal notion to equate individual responsibility with collectivist politics terence don't talk like you read theory you don't read theory i read theory system theory what theory do you read podcast oh my word life is full of surprise you know what's weird i had this insane dream that elon musk hosted and my mother was there both of those things really happened what

Channel: I love John Mulaney

Views: 971,695

Keywords: #snl, #johnmulaney, #snlcompliation

Id: 6GmKkZGMQDs

Length: 18min 9sec (1089 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 30 2021