snl moments that cured my cats pink eye (2)

david beckham so he's playing fishing i'm gonna bend it no please no no no no no you must forgive us we were eating raw bacon in the lighthouse i'm called nyle i'm from dangle my favorite fruit is gray for madison wisconsin it's amber hi jane i love you on glee that's enough most highly anticipated event in town james madison high school graduation it's gonna be hot as hell 100 grand 400 family members all in direct sunlight for three plus hours grandpa might pass out before we begin a warning tonight's performance may cause extreme bouts of progress thank you thank you so much for joining us stefan connor percy it's nice to be here okay so so how did you propose ah well i took her to the beach where we first met he had a boat ready and then he made dinner and we had it on a moonlight sale yeah wow so you didn't get down on one knee in an applebee's parking lot and say we might as well do this ugh my dad is so embarrassing yeah what a joy you're so bad um what the fat hell are you talking about i'm from doolin i've got 35 suspicious freckles on my body but i'm looking for a guy to check the ones i can't see welcome to mother knows best i'm your host shelby mcallister i'm a youtube sketch comedian and a serious genuine singer and yes we're gonna turn you all straight because you're all gay kids and that's a problem okay you guys pumped up yeah our first guest is matthew knox better known by his internet handle xxx death by farts xxx great to be here hey i'm i'm courtney uh classic college story you know i drank 40 beers and got naked and grabbed a chainsaw i went behind northbound and cut down like 35 pine trees i've done it you've done it but of course this time i get caught right if you're irish or just white and violent um can i go or should i just freaking stand here until i'm a freaking thousand freaking years old we're having a staff meeting right now uh well okay i'm gonna go down had freaking burst i look cute oh [Music] [Music] in a moment of shame if you touch me you'll understand what unhappiness is your worst day has been you melanie my dad is so old he was born in like 1980. okay my dad was born in 1936. he sleeps in a medical bed in our living room so compared to your dad my dad looks like a stack of hay with eyes i've now got a cousin siobhan from dalen chefono connor aye that's me is it now what are the chances what do you say niall first impression of the girls well number three is my cousin so she's definitely off to an early lead oh he is the best yeah yesterday he ate a pita piece of lettuce for like two hours that was so funny now listen i'm going to fill out some forms here because your turtle is dead [Applause] [Music] oh hey we just finished our high school performance of the crucible and we didn't mess up at all my name's epcot i was born in the chinese part of epcot centers my favorite food is gum also under a video of a horse rescuing its owner from a fire you wrote mad gay yo what was gay about that uh i don't know the horse there's another small one oh and it's my favorite okay well oh hey barkeep i want to die tonight and from fortress of the lamb pennsylvania a close community of friends it's 17 year old john christopher and his mom abyssalist [Music] my mom is my best friend my son is my life you're watching hln headline news headline counts for two letters shooting t-shirt guns [Music] threatening them with a baseball bat take that ball and you put it through that hole and i won't hit you with the back and while they were on roller skates what's up wieners my name's courtney with a quart i'm a freak in the sheets and a benghazi truther in the streets uh sir what would you like to drink can i get a scotch on the rocks like our marriage this is vern troyer saying the new boyfriend show with jack and shagadelic [Music] and we can stay past close because i know the owner he's middah i know the owner too he's my uncle i mean it's me your cousin neil saint john's ghost this game just got a lot more competitive what's your name i've never had one well tell that to me two summers ago i didn't slice it and i messed up my jaw no you can't say cinnamons one more nut everybody wants me which one will i choose every boy christmas is saved let's hear it for rudolph yeah hey gee thanks santa i won't let you down well well uh congrats right oh you could put that away donna whatever your bitch-ass name is but my mom's a she still makes me sit in a car seat and it faces backwards so i never know where we're going i am so carsick i have to suck on my own foot to calm down but some just long to be understood introducing wells for sensitive little boys from fisher price wells for sensitive boys to wish upon confide in and reflect by on days when he's had too much he'll lean on it and contemplate his reflection some kids like to play others just sort of wait for adulthood let's get back on track okay i think i think a lot of people are in town for st patrick's day and they might be looking for something a little different you know yeah something more irish-themed yes yes yes yes yes yes moonlight la la land it's stefan please call me by your name you are 17 going on 18. actually i'm 33. i know i look young and i said i'm young but i lied i'm 33. help i'm dying can someone help b i have a meeting i have a party hey babe i need to tweet will no one stop to help i'm dead oh no there's been a death cheka's license what is his name it says the earth mother daddu you're embarrassing me his can't stop that but this one time i passed out on mr shinto's island and fully missed the submarine back to mainland mr shinto was so mad at me you've always been my whole girl and that's why i have your name tattooed right above my heart ew dad don't show it oh show it show it is that mick jagger no it's a fat kid on a slip n slide his knees look like biscuits and he's ready to party you've been getting on my damn nerves ever since we got to this house you can't talk to me like that oh what are you gonna do about it cry to your daddy you don't know my daddy you don't know my daddy my daddy's hulk hogan [Music] ladies what's your idea of a romantic evening let's start with contestant number two i guess dinner with a guy who isn't related to me picky picky can i show you a clip from practice i don't know can you come on you're not alone thousands of people share experience and there's actually a name for it you have as commonly called a dead rectum cigarette take a puff so he can see how nasty i can get then i call my mother [Music] all right all right what do we have uh we have rummy cube well what's wrong what's wrong with cube it uh it combines the elements of mahjong and rami and it's it's really fun mom that game is so boring we're never gonna want to play that we've got scattergories oh i'm actually really good at that one yeah you guys you guys better watch out yeah that's perfect you know what i mean i might be too tired for a game other than rummy cube [Applause] you okay huh me yeah just clean it up almost up trying to get the last couple answers it's not latching the point is guys drinking can lead to bad choices like when i was drunk and got a stamp yeah it's a mermaid by the way we should give a poison apple to whoever told that she could sing

Channel: Mia Davis

Views: 557,347

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Id: W2qs8c2CE0Q

Length: 11min 17sec (677 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 23 2021