kate mckinnon: a snl compilation

[Music] uh [Music] i can teach from the ground can't i yes let's uh let's place our hands on the wheel okay remember how old are my kids ten and two oh oh my dear god teacher fell more but we've been friends with claire for years wait have we actually come to think of it well i've never met claire before today i land ass up on a pool raft with my pink pocket and my stink rocket on full display in the middle of danny randall's pool party i'm i'm sorry who is danny randall beats the hell out of me but he's never gonna forget his 12th birthday sister you're looking chilly why don't you put on this scarf constrictor oh so it is i thought it was a pashmina i don't know i know her it's owens dirter oh daughter ouch that's a nasty ginsburn [Applause] [Music] anna kristoff olaf i'm gay is anyone there this is sheriff mccafferty what's the emergency i'm sorry did you just kind of gently whisper the word birds sister your breath it's hot garbage here why don't you pop this little mint oh why that's an actual bomb oh well i wonder who this is jody foster as mr dna sometimes a mosquito like a cotton you're so sticky could you try it a little happier this is the happiest i've ever been today is my birthday we're making a sound the whole time like [Music] one guy was trying to like punch it back together like he was breaking in a catcher's mitt another one of these idiots was just like [Applause] looking for the source of the tear and i was like hey last guy who did that got double barrel pinka we've got you back i lisa broderick have 14 years of lore experience and i graduated top of my class at yale and i am also a lawyer back to your two damn fine cops for broads wait what back to the women thing we're back to that to that no no we're past that no no [Music] and then some within that better is there are some things that are like less better oh you like an ooey gooey yummy yummy delicious quesadillas i do not would you like a delicious thirsty cheesy get that feeling i've already had one and i didn't like it my name is theresa i talked to the dead okay yeah i'm seeing your husband yeah he's in a very bad place he looks a mess he looks terrible yeah hey thank you are you okay [Applause] i'm obviously not you know what's weird i had this insane dream that elon musk hosted and my mother was there both of those things really happened once yeah it was a bad habit you just can't quit feasting on the blood of innocents i want to thank you very much for that speedboat right sir i felt so young and girlish with the wind blowing through my hair does that like carabiner mean anything to you it's a little it's a little particularly metal thingy that you use when you go rock climbing my whole family died rock climbing and you're crying you're crying where is my doubt coloring book i need my adult coloring board it looks like they tried to soak up the water with everyone's coats then they tried [Laughter] you like meat cone colin you're a big meat boycott [Applause] not closer no i've been watching the prices right since i was a little girl growing up on the planet crypto lay your heads on my excuse me i need you take a breath now i'm tampons it's easy you know uh you loop them up and um string first down the gullet no thanks to emeth now i don't even need to leave the bar to get my sweet shabu-shabu mama can smoke that chunky white crunch anywhere at the office at the grocery store and a bathtub in the middle of the road or face down and a big old tire i want to attempt the dirty dancing lift sure yeah oh my god [Music] never seen dirty dancing have you don't have a deck we don't have outdoor lights hey beth did you pack my water socks bath bath okay here we go party yeah everyone said party for miss bolivia tonight once again everything has fallen to me it's always angela make peace with russia angela lynn greece five billion dollars angela holds spain's hair back while it pukes how can i help [Laughter] i just want to give you a chance away from anybody else is there anything that you want to tell me i think we should be together no no if you want you may kiss me on the mouth now sir [Music] excuse me sir can you please lower your jazz there are five miracles of home water birth asleep in this house it's almost 9 p.m [Music] [Applause] i want to thank the snakes for no biting me i want to thank the river for only taking three children go women i want to let my german bowl cut blow in some reeds yeah we should have done this last night but we got like really really scary drunk at the rehearsal dinner when i don't like wine i drink it faster you could wake up one day and find out you're too old to have a baby that almost happened to me all right what the hell is happening with your face oh i thought we all agreed to abandon our feminine germs uh yeah but it's been four days listen to me carefully okay are you a hello [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] wow hold me closer german chancellor i can i just ask you something do you like your job no i do not okay hey what's happening my dude sorry donald you're schnooging your logan alessandra turn the heat up the room is already 100 degrees are you trying to kill me alize category is things in the sky okay uh birds oh well it has to be w i wasn't told that my name is shannon delgado i am trapped inside of the mirror i am in a cold black void if you can hear me please help me undo the curse and every one of us played a part from the nurses who kept us safe to the essential workers who kept food on our tables to all the neighbors who've just pitched in [Applause] these flat iron megans bring you on a sexual eye contact journey of a lifetime take it from the this underground cabal what's the deal who's part of it how do you get an invite is it is it reservations or is it open table are there enough are there enough children to go around do you eat them on site or do you take them home are there dipping sauces the great to bet goldri it's a pleasure to be alive time is almost up just trying to read the last couple answers it's not latching hey angler you know who might be coming to our party obama yes you like like him no what no we're not eating chick-fil-a they're homophobic okay now that is such a neo-liberal notion to equate individual responsibility with collectivist politics terence don't talk like you read theory you don't read theory i read theory system theory what theory do you read podcasts parrots that is not theory well you work at georgia bank you're georgia big [ __ ] yes are you uh dude you have what it takes no i do not have hot water tanks can i make a confession this is gonna come out of left field i am a witch great to be here it's great to be here and to bet i have been dying to meet you and i have been slowly dying and we'll start with john christopher what's your mom's biggest fear oh that's easy that i'll meet a woman and get married one day yes i put um that a woman whose menarche has come will ensnare him leaving me to perish in my loneliness and filth alone alone alone also lyme disease what do you mean you don't want to get adopted you want to stay here with me well that was never part of the deal i'm sorry and the one actual lesbian actress as stone cold ex hey i'm rex nice to meet you excuse me oh yeah we were together for two years but the sex was so bad we broke up even though there's not another lesbian for five whole countries okay what can i get you today what do you guys want i have two beautiful kids and they're smart and they're amazing and they asked me for an iguana and i got them that iguana and that iguana outgrew six tanks and ruined my floors with its urine and has taken over my life and now there is an evil dinosaur living in my house a really good answer [Music] what are you putting in the disposal hon just pictures and of course there's a drawing scene may i troll you yes may i draw you yes and may i draw you drawing her would you say that my chin beard is working it's working in terms of keeping me a lesbian a girl is a woman a dog can be a woman a baby is a lady and a plant a plant can have a boob trying to get you to sit here and watch chocolate with me since we bought this house oh uh stephen and i just watched that oh my god [Music] sorry these dungarees that i bought are too baggy i look like an urban in them all right can you just come up a little closer ruther you're the boss apple apple i actually never even worry about being gay anymore i only worry about the iguana the first thing i think of when i wake up is the iguana and the last thing i think about when i go to sleep is the iguana it figured out doorknobs sure like momo bakbak is a human bird hybrid who loves the company of children all building up to a sex scene so graphic you'll think oh right a man directed this it's 1840. i don't think that's been invented yet you're gonna crack the headboard i fed your snake fetal mice for 10 years after you went to college i would go to petco and they would say the usual and i'd say yes dead mice bag please i know what you need why i have adivan you want that oh yeah little valium oh yeah you like a clotted pin i want someone to take my sky come on up all right take a seat what's your name bud my name is robert durst okay robert so robert please tell us a little bit about yourself i don't know why i'm from scarsdale i have black eyes and one time i chopped up my best friend i don't know i'm a psycho oh god oh no oh my ankles you got to go on without no no i'm never leaving you again you have to oh like hell i do 40 seconds on the clock look at me gina you are my world and all the deaf donkeys we have raised from bottle call you mother 20 seconds left girls shut up yes you shut up you shut the hell up and let me talk to my friend it all kicks off with class speaker amy mitchell who does not know how to work that much sometimes i wish that i could stay at this school a great plan isn't that right jeff yeah uh i'm all yours jeff i'm all yours so much that i have the right to visit my wife in the hospital it just sucks that she's in the hospital because she was mauled in the face by the iguana

Channel: I love John Mulaney

Views: 703,167

Keywords: #johnmulaney, #snl, #snlcompilation, #katemckinnon

Id: zVavFY2Vmlw

Length: 16min 5sec (965 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 14 2021