-Introducing the Verismo home
brewing system by Starbucks. Simply insert the pod
of your choice, press coffee, espresso,
or latte, and give the machine your name. -Marsha. -And when it's ready, Verismo's
voice feature will let you know. -Amorfa. Order for Amorfa. ♪♪ -We at Roach-Ex know...
[ Doorbell rings ] ...there's nothing worse
than unexpected house guests. -Ah, home, sweet home! -Especially roaches. -Nice digs! -They always make
their presence felt. -I'd, um, give it a minute. -And once roaches move in... -Oh. Hey, knock it off
with the light, huh? -...they make themselves
right at home. -[ Laughs ] He will actually say anything. ♪♪ -And before you know it, they're practically
part of the family. -Race you.
-[ Laughs ] -'Cause when it comes
to roaches... -Hello? -...let's face it. -Hon? -What's yours... -[ Gasping, moaning ] -...is theirs. -[ Gasping, moaning ] -Yeah! Yeah, roach daddy! -You had sex with my wife. -Somebody had to. ♪♪ -That's not good. -Get out of my house! -Ah, Bill, perfect timing. We're running a little low
on snacks, buddy. ♪♪ -Bill? Bill, you're drunk. -Shut up! ♪♪ -Whoa. [ Legs skitter ] -Well, well, well. Big man's got himself a can
of Roach-Ex Plus. What are you going to do
with it, Bill? You going to spray me? -Shut up. -Well, spray me, Bill.
Go ahead, do it. Know what?
I'll give you a little help. -You're crazy. -That's right,
I'm crazy, Bill. You want me out of your house,
you just got to push the nozzle. Do it.
-I'll do it! -Do it, Bill! Spray me! Do it! -I will! ♪♪ -[ Laughs ] You can't do it, can you, Bill? You know why?
'Cause you're not a man. You're nothing but a --
[ Spray hissing ] Aah! ♪♪ -[ Sobbing ] No. No. -[ Gasping ] -[ Sobbing ] No! No!
-Son. ♪♪ -So send roaches
an eviction notice with Roach-Ex Plus roach killer. Roaches don't stand a chance. -Kids, time to put on
your jammies. -What? -I mean your Swiffer Sleepers. -Who said sweeping floors
can't be fun? -Are you guys ready? -Yeah!
-Yeah! -♪ A-dusting and a-sliding,
on the floor you're riding ♪ ♪ Here comes Swiffer Sleepers ♪ [ Kids laughing ] -Swiffer Sleepers, the crawl-around, roll-around
dust picker-upper. -Emily? -Yay! -♪ A-moppin' and a-wheezin',
cleanin' and a-sneezin' ♪ ♪ Here comes Swiffer Sleepers ♪ -This is your ticket to slide. ♪♪ -Swiffer Sleepers make
cleaning floors a family affair. [ Laughter ]
-♪ Here comes Swiffer Sleepers ♪ -Not recommended for children
with allergies. ♪♪ -For over 40 years,
we here at Starbucks have brought our passion
for fine coffee and espresso to people everywhere. But one place was impossible
until now. Introducing the Verismo home
brewing system by Starbucks. Simply insert the pod
of your choice, press coffee, espresso,
or latte, and give the machine your name. -Marsha. -And when it's ready, Verismo's
voice feature will let you know. -Amorfa. Order for Amorfa. Amarella? -Uh, Marsha? -Uh...yeah. -Thank you. -And if Verismo
gets your order wrong, simply get its attention
and walk it through the problem. -This is tea.
I ordered a latte. -Okay. So, one tea, one latte? -No. I just -- No tea.
I just want the latte. -Uh... Okay. Hold up. -Once Verismo says, "Hold up," you're only nine minutes away
from getting your coffee. -She said she don't want no tea. -She said what? -And from the makers of Verismo
comes Verquonica, a larger, non-functional machine for Verismo to talk to
about you. -Why she ax for a tea
if she want a latte? -I don't know, man.
-That's stupid. -And if you order now, you'll also receive
Starbucks accessories like non-refrigerated
milk pitchers, a bunch of discarded
wooden stirrers, and a packet of Sugar in the Raw
smashed into a puddle of cream. -Latte for SharShar? -Um, I already got my latte. -Now she don't want a latte?
Oh, my God. -This bitch crazy. -She is working my last nerve. -The Verismo from Starbucks. -Hi. I'm Pete Kemper. And I want to talk to you
about a sleep revolution. Me and my wife, Stacy,
we've been married so long that, well, we both have
our own routines. -I go to bed early.
He's a night owl. -Absolutely. But here's the good news -- I'll never disturb
Stacy's sleep, thanks to my patented
Kemper-Pedic Me Time Mattress, the only mattress
that absorbs energy and does not transfer motion,
even inches away. Stacy will sleep soundly
no matter what I'm doing, whether it's rolling dice... [ Dice clacking ] ...adjusting the change
in my pajama pockets... [ Coins jingling ] ...exercising... ♪♪ ...making coffee
using a French press... or even doing the worm. [ Moaning ] -With the Me Time mattress,
I get a deep sleep, without any of that weird
squeaking that used to wake me up. -[ Chuckles ] I know. What was that?
-It's great. -Don't believe us? Try my famous
Italian dinner test, where I put a glass of Chianti
on one side of the bed and pound pizza dough in my lap
on the other side. See? The wine doesn't spill
no matter how hard I pound. I can pound that dough
for six to eight minutes until I can't take it anymore,
and I am spent. Hey. Who's ready to eat? So if you and your spouse
have your own routines, do yourself a favor and get
a Kemper-Pedic Me Time Mattress. Buy one today
and get a special laptop shade that shields the brightness
of a laptop computer, so you can take it to bed
anytime. Kemper-Pedic Me Time mattress. 'Cause you need some me time. ♪♪ -I've got kids.
And you know what that means -- spills, and lots of 'em. -Mom. -[ Gasps ] Uh-oh. ♪♪ -Darn it. -I spend a lot of my time
cleaning up messes, so I need something that's
absorbent and affordable. So what do I reach for? A suit from Jos. A. Bank. With their innovative
buy 1, get 3 free pricing, a suit from Jos. A. Bank is effectively cheaper
than paper towels. And now they come in these
easy-to-use dispensers. With 4 suits for the price
of a modest dinner, I can feel good about throwing
them away when I'm done. They're great
for any job around the house, like pet stains... [ Dog whines ] ...soaking up grease... ...even diapers
for your little ones. Plus, they make great kindling. It's so flammable. And talk about absorbent. A regular paper towel
disintegrates under liquid. But a Jos. A. Bank suit
disintegrates with no liquid at all. The only downside -- keeping
my husband's suits straight. -Dad, that one's got spaghetti
on it! [ Laughter ] -Jos. A. Bank. Quantity Guaranteed. -Wowee! Honey, how do you keep the house
so clean? -A lady never tells.
[ Ting! ] -A woman's work is done better
with GE Household Appliances. Times change, and these days, women are the primary
breadwinners in 50% of American homes. And that means housework
is a man's job. So give him the tools
to get the job done right with GE's new Big Boy
Home Appliances, like the Big Boy dishwasher, featuring a 70-pound steel door. -I'd like to see
a woman do that. -And, hey, she may have climbed
the corporate ladder, but she'll need an actual ladder to use the Big Boy
washing machine, 'cause that sucker
is six feet tall. Dirty floors
don't stand a chance against the Big Boy
ride-on vacuum cleaner. That's 240 horsepower
of pure chore torque, with a detachable spot remover that absolutely
annihilates stains. All GE Big Boy appliances have
an Energy Star rating of F-minus because they run on gas. [ Engine starts ] So man up this holiday season and ask your wife to buy you
GE Big Boy Household Appliances. -Wow. How'd you get it
so clean in here? -Ah, sorry, babe. A guy never tells.
[ Ting! ] -GE Big Boy Appliances.
As someone who spends most of their day watching random SNL clips on youtube, I really appreciate these compliation videos they've been doing.