SIX Secrets of lasting Relationships: Presented by Ty Gibson

[Music] I'm going to be talking to you about what I refer to as six secrets of lasting love today and tomorrow I'm going to be sharing with you what some media outlets are referring to as the apocalypse of the human dating system the apocalypse the collapse of human sexuality throughout Western culture and so tomorrow we'll be unpacking that but preparatory to the bad news that we're going to be talking about yesterday and how the whole thing seems to be coming apart I want to share with you some principles that I think are absolutely vital especially at your age because some of you look to me like you're just right at that age where you're on the verge of falling and love in fact some of you have that look like you've probably fallen in and out of love four times already during the three days you've been at camp some of you look like that to me yeah you know who you are especially this guy who just can't quit grinning I don't it's you isn't it it's you all right so I want to talk to you about sustainable love I want to talk to you about principles that that you can incorporate in to your life even before you fall in love in order to know exactly what it is that you're looking for because I would imagine that pretty much everybody here most of you are single and you're going to end up married but there's there's a lot of a lot of tragedy with regards to marry I don't know what it's like here in New Zealand I would guess it's probably the same as where I'm from in the United States but what we have going on is that fully five out of ten marriages in the United States at least end in divorce I don't know what it's like here I would say that probably everybody in here has been adversely affected by divorce probably somebody in your family if not your parents an auntie and uncle somebody in your social circle has been divorced it's traumatic five out of ten marriages end in divorce so the bat five are gone there's five left well then the sociologists who have done studies indicate that of the five that remain now watch this this is really serious stuff to realize of the five people couples that stay married three of them will settle in to what is referred to as cold coexistence okay I don't love you anymore in fact I don't even like you but we'll stay married because I can't think of anything else to do so you wake up you go through the motions you hardly ever have any significant conversation you can see these people in restaurants sitting there across from one another ordering their meal going through the entire process of eating and not exchanging a word with one another and yet they're married these are people who settle into cold coexistence we're just gonna tolerate one another for life and then one out of the five that remain they enter into this is a particular kind of personality they move through a process or a cycle of explosive emotions that involves threats I'm gonna divorce you in two days later no I'm not yeah I can't stand this marriage anymore I'm out of here and there's anger and there are demeaning words and there are arguments and but they stay together when they go through but they go through this cycle this explosive ongoing cycle where their passions rise to the surface and they insult one another they speak to one another in demeaning ways but they stay married so there's only one left and and this is what the data shows us is that five out of ten marriages end in divorce three settle into cold coexistence one a cycle of explosive emotions but they stay together for reasons that nobody knows and then there's just one out of ten couples that ever experience what I'm gonna refer to as a growing deepening intimacy now I'm using the word intimacy in a holistic sense right now I'm not referring to merely sexual intimacy although that's a part of it I'm referring to the whole person in other words there's only one out of 10 married couples that ever experience a lasting ongoing deepening kind of full orbed holistic intimacy with one other I like you oh I like you too but stay married because we like each other wow that's a novel idea let's do it and they just continued on growing old together and the beauty expands and it deepens and there's something beautiful that develops one out of ten married couples experience that now I'm not saying all of this I'm not telling you that five out of ten ended in divorce three settled into cold coexistence and one into a cycle of explosive anger and emotions in order to discourage you from getting married but I will tell you as we're going to discover tomorrow in the apocalypse of the dating system that a lot of young people people your age are simply opting out of marriage because they have watched enough of the horror of what I've just described the divorce the anger the cold coexistence that a lot of young people your age are just opting out and saying why would I want to do that why would I want to be in the kind of relationship that I see my parents having it looks like misery why would I want to be in the kind of relationship that settles into cold coexistence so a lot of young people are just opting out and saying no thank you marriage is not a system that I want to participate in and this as we're going to discover that tomorrow is becoming pandemic through Western civilization more on that tomorrow but I'm not trying to discourage you what I'm gonna share with you right now is that I am absolutely certain that it is entirely possible that every single person in this room could the one of the ten we could actually up the number to two out of ten or three out of ten or five out of ten because a lot of people are embarking upon the matter of love and marry with a false premise and the false premise is this many people enter in to the most significant experience of their life that will have the most impact on their life more of an impact than anything else a lot of people enter in to marriage they get married doing less research than they would do if they were about to buy a car you've got the money and you're about to make a purchase you're gonna get yourself a computer you're gonna buy a new phone you're gonna get an automobile and what are you gonna do just walk into a store or go online and just willy-nilly close your eyes and pick one know you're going to do research aren't you you're going to look at the stats you're going to look at the price compared to what you get you're gonna move through at rational process you're going to coherently think through all of the factors and all of the benefits that you get from this car or this phone or this computer as opposed to this other option that's being offered to me how many of you are going to go through that process just to buy something that costs five hundred thousand are you gonna buy a phone raise your hand if you're gonna do some research of course you are and yet people enter in to marriage doing very little research they just look at somebody they come to big camp they fall in love and out of love four times in the course of ten days and the one that they are still enamored with oh man his his eyebrows are so symmetrical and his knees oh we went swimming and his knees are adorable I like him he's very good-looking I think he's the one because fireworks are going off inside of me or oh she's just so beautiful I just love her laughing and how her hair cradles her face and it's just so she's the one well she may not be the one some of the most beautiful people in the world are the most ugly people in the world two days three days a week a year into the relationship personality is not character there's a vital difference between what a person is in their character versus the persona they project in social circles so you're going to discover that a lot of people embark upon the most important decision of their life to get married in a rather willy-nilly kind of way wow I'm just attracted to you I mean you're hot let's get married and then they wonder why it doesn't work out what I'm going to share with you from a biblical standpoint is that the matter of love and marriage is now listen to the language very carefully marriage is a principle driven affair it's a what kind of affair everybody say the words a principle driven affair which is to say it's less like bungee jumping and more like downhill skiing bungee jumping is basically straps some thing to your legs and jump and let gravity have its way with you and hope for the best downhill skiing is technical there are moves there are things you need to understand there is a listen to the words now downhill skiing there is a science to it that has to be mastered so you have to pay attention to details downhill skiing is a principle driven activity you have to master it bungee jumping not so much a lot of people have relationships they go through the dating cycle and get married like bungee jumping rather than downhill skiing I'm going to suggest you that love and marriage is a principle driven affair it's not purely a matter of following your heart wherever it leads you screw your heart your heart is so messed up that you don't even know what you want from one mom to the next so scripture says this wisdom this is proverbs chapter 4 wisdom is the principal thing therefore get wisdom and I love this line and with all your getting get understanding I didn't know this and I don't know if you knew it but you you and I we have a getter somewhere inside of us there's a getter there's a there's a getting mechanism there's something in the side of you that has the capacity to get stuff and this scripture says that you need to employ your getter to get wisdom with all your getting you need to put everything you have into mastering the wisdom principles of life while the next verse says this way exalt her wisdom here is personified as a female wisdom should be a female my wife informs me that google is a girl I didn't know this because she says you can ask Google anything and she knows the answer exalt her wisdom that is and what will happen if you exalt wisdom which is to say if you exalt the principles of wisdom and understand if you the principles that make for success if you exalt wisdom what will happen she will promote you it is inevitable that you will experience the benefits of wisdom if you take hold of if you get wisdom with all your getting and you apply the principles ah you will be promoted in all the aspects of your life she will bring you honor when you embrace her so this sounds pretty significant to me wisdom is basically this think of it this way wisdom is the portfolio of principles that brings success to any pursuit in life it is a collection of ideas that involve cause in effect relationships if you do a B is sure to follow if you do X then Y is sure to follow and in many cases X Y Z will follow and you didn't see that coming and then you're blown away you're devastated because you did not discern the relationship between x y and z but if you discern the relationship if you know that X leads to Y which leads to Z and you know that X is something that you're attracted to but Z is something that will devastate your life you will be able to push back on X for fear legitimate fear of Z so it's a principle driven affair so I want to share with you six secrets or principles of lasting love and these are so sure I've tested them myself I've how old are you right there you and the in the middle how old are you oh you're 21 okay I was how old are you 18 and 21 okay so I've been married longer than either of you have been alive longer than you've been in existence okay I'm expecting applause at this point okay all right so now that you have acknowledged the wonder of my existence as a married man my wife Sue and I we've been together since we were 13 years old we didn't get married then I'm not suggesting that okay but we've been friends since we were 13 years old now when I was 14 years old I knew for sure you know I'm gonna marry you and she said you're not gonna marry me because I'm not gonna marry you and I said no we're gonna get married we're gonna spend our life together she said how are you so certain I said just watch and as the days and the weeks and the months unfolded next thing you know we were married and we've been married ever since so I don't know if you've heard of this guy named dr. James Dobson he's very old-school a long time ago he was writing a lot of books and he made a statement that stuck with me he said anybody who's been married in our culture longer than seven years has earned the right to instruct the rest of us because marriages end so quickly in our culture that anybody who can stay married for any significant period of time understands something I'm going to share with you the six principles that could be referred to as non-negotiables everybody say non-negotiables okay everybody else say non-negotiables one more time non-negotiable all together now non-negotiables that is to say these six things are vital and if even one of them is missing from a relationship you should not marry that person if even one of this if you're like wow we got five no if you have five and not six and you'll see how absolutely airtight this argument is in just a moment if you can say yes to five but not six you should just make a decision that's not wisdom I'm not marrying him I'm not marrying her you'll see that these are non negotiables every one of them has to be in place or you should just say no thank you I'm gonna tell you that there is something worse than being single it's being married to your worst nightmare for the rest of your life okay so you need all six of these six secrets or non-negotiable I'm gonna give all six to you just right off the bat out of the gate all right and then we're gonna go back and we're gonna look at them in greater detail so here they are they all start with C so you can easily remember them took me a lot of effort to pull this off with all C's you should appreciate this Christ centeredness character compatibility communication commitment and chemistry if all six are present and accounted for go ahead and propose say yes get married if even one is missing this isn't wisdom I'm not going that direction okay so first of all Christ centeredness why is this significant I'm gonna share with you a very simple and profound idea from Scripture that I think that you will find you're gonna if you see me clicking and it doesn't work you go ahead and help me because it works and doesn't work I'm not sure why okay so in Colossians chapter 1 this is a profound insight from the Apostle Paul he says listen he that's Jesus in the text by the way he is before all things and in him all things hold together another version says all things consist another version says in him in Jesus all things Co here ok so here's the idea Jesus constitutes what I referred to earlier as a portfolio of principles a collection an envelope a box a container of principles look at it this way if you have a relationship with somebody and you are contemplating marriage you're thinking you know what maybe he's the one maybe she's the one or let's just say you've already taken the plunge and you are married and you're like oh man I wish I would have known these six principles before I got married the thing about wisdom is you can always begin applying it and even if you already married you can start thinking you know what let's apply these six principles and you can raise the bar and you can experience the beauty of principle driven marriage okay but here's how it works two individuals who are completely different in their identities and in their personalities each one has idiosyncrasies I mean the fact is it doesn't matter who you marry marry or who how wonderful you think they are once you get married you're gonna start discovering things you didn't know you're gonna be like oh no do you actually finish half a plate of food and leave it on the floor next to your bed and after a day because you're so lazy you just push it under the bed hoping I'll take care of it later do you do that kind of stuff oh I'm married to you oh no things like that are gonna surface you're gonna be blown away you're going to be like wow I didn't expect this it doesn't matter who it is you're going to be different in some regards significant ways things are going to have you ever have you ever been in a house where the faucet no matter how hard you turn it off it just drips all night it's like Chinese torture and that's what they call that you just get and after about a thousand drips you just can't take it anymore there are things when you first meet someone at big camp in the fourth time you've fallen in love in ten days there are things that you think that's adorable I love that about him two years into it you'll want to murder him over that thing that you thought was adorable so you and whoever the other person is are so different that you need a kind of centrifugal force you need a point of reference you need something outside of yourselves that holds each of you accountable to a higher order of existence Jesus is that so much so that you probably heard this before that if two individuals who are different if they draw close to a third party namely Jesus what happens well unsuspectingly they end up drawing closer to one another so to the degree that I am centered in Christ and she is centered in Christ in him there are the principles that hold me accountable to a higher order of existence that will benefit her and vice versa if she is centered in Christ and I am centered in Christ we will grow in our intimacy and closeness to one another and on the downside of this if Jesus is not the center of both of your focus and lives if one of you is a committed head over heels in love with Jesus Christian and the other one is not and you're saying wow I know that christ-centered thing isn't there but we got five other factors guaranteed that you will begin to wonder about the wisdom of marrying a person who doesn't love Jesus like you do because you will eventually have children you will want to do life you will have social circles and you will inevitably have two separate social circles you will inevitably want to raise your children different than one another you will inevitably end up in arguments over whether or not the kids are going to do X when the other wants to do why are you tracking with me so no matter how good it feels in the moment Christ centeredness is the first principle the second one is character oh I forgot to start this I have no idea how long we've gone is there a clock here somewhere I've started it now somebody what is it okay I can pull this off okay character what is character umm character is vitally important and I'll tell you why I knew a young lady she was like 16 years old she was a friend of our family and she came to you one day and she's a tie tie tie and that excitement level with her I knew okay this is a boy this is about a boy I know tie tie tie it's about a boy she says there's this guy I found him I said who she said the one I said which one the one for me I found the one tie in fact in fact I I didn't find him he found me which is which is really cool isn't it I said well tell me about him and she said well he's really good-looking I said well that's a plus isn't it Wow okay and I said but he's gonna get old and be ugly pretty soon so you need to take that into consideration she said oh okay I said but tell me more she said okay so also I know he's the one because ty you're not gonna believe this both of us chose the same subject for our book report in history that's evidence of something isn't it and I said no it's not evidence of anything whatsoever she said isn't that a miracle I said I don't know maybe he looked over your shoulder saw the subject you picked and picked the same subject so he could copy your essay and get the grade she said you think so I said yeah he's probably a scoundrel she said but you haven't met him I said well I'll tell you whether I want to meet him or not if you tell me more she said well what do you want to know I said well have you ever been to his house she said yeah yeah he invited me over we did homework together I said AHA that's good isn't it haha it was all time I said did you guys actually get any homework done no but oh it was so good I said so you were at his house yeah I said does he have a mom oh yeah of course he has a mom house do you come into the world he has a mom of course not does he have any sisters yeah two little sisters younger sisters I said okay so what did you witness in that home how does he speak to his mom how does he treat his sisters I said what did you see and her countenance kind of dropped and she said well there was this one point at which his mom came in and tried to tell him something and he he didn't even look at her and he said mom shut up and sent her out of the room I said listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you are you re listening she said yeah I'm listening I said he's not the one she said how do you know I said it is an absolute certainty that after he's on his best behavior to get you he will settle into default mode and he will treat you exactly the way he treats his mom and sisters she said no he loves me well I said you can take the plunge you little bungee jumper or you can master the technical downhill skiing principles and I'm telling you he will treat you the way his mom if you're prepared to settle in for life - shut up and be sent out of the room well he's the one but he's not the one I'm telling you he's not the one because character matters character matters if a person has good character now we're not talking about personality you remember the distinction I made earlier between character and personal personality is like you know somebody has a good sense of humor they're charismatic they enter the room and and they are a center of attention okay someone who has a nice personality doesn't necessarily have a good character right so you need to distinguish good character is this person treats people well even at their own expense okay so character matters here's the key principle in character in my opinion from Peter husband's this is presupposing marriage likewise dwell with your wives Peter's addressing husbands in general hey all of you husbands here's how you do it dwell with your wives with understanding giving honor to the wife okay I want you to look at the word honor here honor is tema in the Greek and it just means heavy I mean the most basic meaning of the word is heavy or weighty you know like a boulder compared to a pebble this is the idea of Honor so what does it mean - for a man to honor a woman it means she is weighty in your estimation what she thinks matters to you how she feels matters to you when she speaks you lock in you listen you actually care what she thinks and how she feels so you give honor by giving weight or here's a word for you the metaphor of weightiness pans out - what in our modern vernacular we would refer to as significance to give honor is to give significance oh you're significant I really want to do a B or C but I don't want to do it unless I know your opinion about it I really care what you think about this venture this idea so Peter comes along and he says listen husbands you need to regard your wife with a very high level of significance you need to dwell with your wife with honor then there's compatibility what is compatibility well compatibility is what we might refer to as for those of you who you know like synonyms and you take notes and you want to really understand these things compatibility is what I'm gonna refer to as the friendship factor the friendship factor now this is significant this is one of the most incredible lines in all of literature not just in the Bible in all of literature in fact I was in I was in a secular bookstore in San Francisco with not a Christian book to be found and they were selling the Song of Songs the Song of Solomon in a little nicely bound leather book right next to the cash register as a piece of high beautiful romantic literature so this is one of the best lines in all of literature not just in scripture where the woman says of the man in the relationship she's speaking to her girlfriends who are like oh he's amazing he's amazing he's amazing and she says I'll tell you who he is to me this is my lover and my friend boy if you have those two factors intersecting with one another if you have a relationship in which the person you're married to for life is not just your sexual partner but also your friend I actually like you I want to spend time with you you're enjoyable our conversations are time well-spent enjoy your company this is the person that you can go on a thousand kilometer road trip with and there they are in the other seat passed out and slobbering all over themselves and you're like yes life is better with you than without you I want and then she wakes up then he wakes up and you have eye contact and you've been married for thirty years and you're like aha you're so cool I love you I like you I love you I like you now there's a difference between love and like you know this right the Bible in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus says love your enemies so after you've been married for 10 or 20 years if your wife says to you if your husband says to you I love you hold that suspect ok the Bible says love your enemies so what category am I in at this stage okay I know you love me what I want to know is do you like me after 10 20 30 years of marriage it's one thing to be in love and it's a beautiful thing it's another thing to be in like to be in like is the friendship factor man I enjoy your company I like being with you this is my lover and my friend the next principle is communication communication isn't necessarily all about words now I just need to warn you ahead of time especially this is a warning to the ladies here this morning and the warning is this the average the average woman female speaks 20,000 words a day the average male speaks 10,000 words a day he can't compete he never will unless he is an anomaly he's a science experiment and somehow he was dropped as a child or something and so he's talking more than you but it's not likely in fact studies have been done that demonstrate that something like 75 percent of all the minute on cellphone usage is between females and their moms their sisters and their friends 75% of all the minutes we didn't even ask the question about text messages dudes have you ever seen how fast she texts by the way she's talking about you and what's happening here in the communication process between men and women is we're wired differently so all communication isn't necessarily verbal in fact Song of Solomon says it this way this is again the woman perceiving a nonverbal communication in the man your eyes she says are pools of understanding love flows through your affection now we have here the idea of eye contact your eyes are pools of understanding that's so beautiful poetically just the idea that that when I look into your eyes what do I discern you understand you get me you're tracking there's empathy you feel what I feel so a guy who doesn't speak as many words each day as a female needs to understand that even though you can't compete on the verbal level boy your eyes matter never ever ever ever look past her or through her look straight into her eyes when she's speaking when she's expressing whatever she's expressing and put forth deliberate effort to be present in the moment and to understand what is coming out of her in those words that's what's described in this text and then it says love flows through your affection affection is nonverbal primarily affection is that wink across the room with 30 other people and yet you and I in a sense we're alone in this room together affection is that gentle brush of the hand as you're passing through the house affection is legitimate sanctified beautiful flirtation all the time going not all the time I mean grow up but it's it's happening you know there's affection you know don't be married to her for 20 years and 10 years back you stopped holding her hand I mean seriously grow up the fact is that love flows through affections and affections are nonverbal the wink the brush of a hand the holding of hands non-sexual contact physically these are beautiful things my wife has told me my daughters have told me that they think I'm weird because I'm willing to paint their nails they think that I'm a really you know kind of a cool guy who would paint the daughter's nails I'm just super curious about it and the art of it fascinates me it could be my son's nails for all I care I'm just interested in the thing the art you know so I'm not that great but they think oh our dad does our nails I've dyed their hair over the years men I'm telling you you need to go out of your way to be present to the moment to your wife to your daughters let your eyes be pools of understanding then there's commitment what is commitment well this is so out of vogue in our world today the idea presently where I'm from in California for example is not any longer till death do us part it's until somebody who's hotter comes along and so people are entering in - not lifelong marriage commitments now you can literally buy an envelope with all the paperwork so that you can enter into a three five or seven year contract and you just spell out all the specifications after three or five or seven years whatever it is you sign the contract you get together with your lawyer and you reassess do we want to renew the contract for another three five or seven years or after three five or seven years or are we wanting to end this relationship because you know I'm moving on here's the fact of the matter from the Sociology that we have at our fingertips almost every couple will be on the verge of divorce between the seven and ten year mark there are a few you know outliers that know that never happens but by and large the majority of couples at the 7 to 10 year mark some you know it's 12 years 15 years they were super busy so they didn't get down to hitting each other quick enough whatever the case is somewhere between 7 to 10 years on average most couples are on the verge of divorce now here's what I want to tell you if that couple will press through to the other side of those overwhelming feelings of dislike the fact of the matter is in most cases those who press through fall more deeply in love than they were before and the relationship is actually better from there on out if they'll get to the other side of I don't love you anymore I don't like you anymore you're an idiot I want a divorce if you can get through that to the other side there is a kind of psychological emotional even a biological bonding that occurs in the commitment because what is the unspoken idea here is that when those strong feelings are going back and forth and you feel like I can't stand you anymore what each one is subconsciously looking for is will you keep loving me at my worst let me say that again what each one is subconsciously looking for even they might need in know or articulate they might not know that that's what they're looking for but subconsciously what each person is looking for is will you keep loving me at my worst now now if I can get past the 7 to 10 year mark when we're on the verge of divorce and you just keep on loving me you're still committed even after I said what I said even after I did what I did you mean you're still committed to me it's mind blowing and you settle into wow you really do love me and all the insecurity is drained from the relationship finally because I'm up until about 10 years both of you are pretty insecure you like man this could end and go up in smoke at any moment here there's insecurity but if you get past that the insecurity is drained from the relationship and you settle in to deeper levels of love and commitment than you ever thought possible so commitment is vital in a relationship there's a reason why in the Christian tradition that marriage is thought to be for life till death do us part if you can keep on in the commitment be kind to one another scripture says tender-hearted forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you I was giving a five-part marriage seminar one time and this lady who looked at me like she's as old as the earth itself this lady was super old she came up to me she obviously had pain and she was hunched over and and she came up to me I think it was in part 3 of this five-part marriage seminar I was given I didn't know why she was there but she was there she came up to me and she said young man she said you have five parts to your marriage seminar she said well I have five parts to mine I said oh and she said mine's better than yours cuz it's a lot shorter and I said would you share your marriage seminar with me she said I was married to the same man until he died and we loved each other I said what's the seminar she said here's my five part marriage seminar give give give give and forgive I've never given my five part marriage seminar again I was like forget that I'm just gonna tell people it's really all about giving it all you've got and then forgiving in the relationship when forgiveness is necessary forgiveness is the highest and most noble exercise of the human mind and person there's nothing greater you can do than to extend forgiveness it's the most beautiful and powerful act a human being can perform to say I forgive you and to get to the other side of the violation and then number six is chemistry this is the one that throws so many off this is as the French say the UH la la vector this is where the fireworks are going off this is where inside your body there are chemicals that are clashing with one another and making you feel euphoric in the very presence of that person this is sexual chemistry this is attraction on the biological level on the level of pheromones this is chemical reaction going on inside of you and the Bible is in favor of it but not outside of the context of the other five factors that we've named but the Bible is very much in favor of off-the-charts ooh la la factor in the girl boy relationship in Song of Songs for example which is inspired by the way by the Holy Spirit apparently the girl says to the guy draw me after you let us run together how I wish the king would bring me to his chamber wink nod we know what the chamber is all about then the girl says tell me o you who my love where you feed your flock well this King is apparently also a shepherd and where you make it rest at noon is she just hunting for information is she doing a google search does she really care exactly what the geographic location is where he lets his sheep rest at noon she's simply saying listen tell me where you're gonna be when you're not busy and we will rendezvous is beautiful the boy says to the girl you have made my heart beat fast the adrenaline is pumping my sister I don't know why he fell in love with his sister he shouldn't have this is weird I don't know what to make about it maybe it's his sister in Christ maybe this is some kind of poetic mechanism although in the United States down south and Alabama they do this so I'm not sure what to make of it but I'm strongly urging against it just due to the biological birth defect factor alone don't do it but anyways let's get back to the text you have made my heart beat fast we'll take out the sister part my bride you have made my heart beat fast with one glance of your eyes with one strand of your necklace so it wasn't an Adventist girl so don't get tripped on this and it's very fascinating that she she has this much power over him with just one strand of her necklace can you imagine if she brought all three strands to bear upon his weak self okay so this is simply describing that there's fireworks going on inside of her inside of him the girl says I am My Beloved's and his desire is for me she feels valued she feels like she's the center of his attention and she is note the language she has a sense that I belong to him in an exclusive kind of sense the girl come my lover let us go into the country and spend the night in the fields and they're not just stargazing this is romantic language that is saying we're going to have romantic rendezvous out in the fields let's go early to the vineyards and see if the buds are on the vines and we all know what that means or maybe we don't some of you are too young but when the buds are in vine let us see if the blossoms have already opened and if the pomegranates have bloomed and there I will give you my love this is beautiful poetry describing the woman and the man giving themselves entirely to one another sexually and these are the six secrets of lasting love I challenge you to spend to the rest of the day in conversations with one another with the appropriate person not him no not him not her but with your friends I challenge you for the rest of the day to get together occasionally and try to eliminate one because earlier I called them non-negotiables right so I'm asking you to experiment with these sex I'm asking you go ahead find fault with my list of six tell me one that you could do without tell me one that you could do without and if you can eliminate one then make sure you come and tell me so I can update the list but I'm pretty strongly convicted that they are all of them a seamless airtight argument in favor of wisdom driven love these are the six some of the ladies here you may want to get yourself make yourself a website where you can take resumes and just tell anybody who wants to apply for your heart for the rest of your life these are the six things if you meet these six in the photo these are the six these are the six non-negotiables thank you for your time I'll see you tomorrow [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Fine Teulilo

Views: 1,781

Rating: 4.909091 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: IIJi_Y9_VKI

Length: 48min 4sec (2884 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 01 2020