>> Stephen: OH, HEY,
EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK, FOLKS. MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN AND
ACTOR YOU KNOW AS JIN YANG ON "SILICON VALLEY." PLEASE WELCOME JIMMY O. YANG! <i>( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I GOTTA GET ME ONE</i> OF THOSE. THAT'S A SWEET LINING. GOTTA REPRESENT. HEY, I LOVE "SILICON VALLEY." IT'S A REALLY FUNNY SHOW. THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR WOULD
T.J. MILLER. YOUR CHARACTER IS RUNNING THE
INCUBATOR NOW THAT HE USED TO RUN. DID YOU FORCE HIM OUT? >> NO, I DIDN'T. MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT. YOU KNOW, HE MIGHT JUST POP UP
ANYWHERE. I DON'T KNOW. >> Stephen: HE'S AN ODD
CHARACTER. >> T.J. IS ACTUALLY A GREAT
FRIEND AND WE HAVE SUCH GREAT CHEMISTRY ON THE SHOW. I WAS REALLY SAD WHEN HE CALLED
ME ONE NIGHT AND SAID, "I'M NOT GOING TO COME BACK NEXT YEAR." I WAS SAID AND WORRIED. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT MY CHARACTER
WAS GOING TO DO WITHOUT EHRLICH. BUT IT WAS A BLESSI BLESSING IN
DISGUISE. I TAKE OVER SOME OF HIS
INCUBATOR, AND I TAKE OVER ( BLEEP )-- CAN I SAY THAT ON
THE SHOW? >> Stephen: NO, NOT REALLY,
NOT REALLY, BUT IT'S FINE. >> WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. >> Stephen: YOU WORK ON HBO. I WORK ON CBS. >> OH! THAT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. >> Stephen: THIS IS YOUR FIRST
TIME YOU HAVE EVER BEEN ON A TALK SHOW, ISN'T IT? >> YES, DISTAND-UP ONCE ON
ARSENIO HALL YEARS AGO, BUT THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE COACH. >> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME. <i>( APPLAUSE )
I THINK WE HAVE A CLIP OF YOU</i> ASSERTING YOUR NEW AUTHORITY AS
HEAD OF THE INCUBATOR. WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS, DO YOU
KNOW? >> I HAVE TO TAKE OVER THE
INCUBATOR, AND IN ORDER TO DO, THAT I HAVE TO PROVE THAT
EHRLICH BACHMANN IS DEAD, AND THIS IS MY TRYING TO PROVE THAT
HE'S DEAD. >> Stephen: OKAY. COMEDY. >> I NEED TO PROVE EHRLICH IS
DEAD, SO I WANT TO SHIP A DEAD BODY FROM CHINA, BUT IT'S HARD
TO FIND A WHITE BODY IN CHINA, ESPECIALLY FAT LIKE ERIC. SO I BUY A FAT WHITE CADAVER
FROM CINCINNATI MEDICAL SCHOOL. BUT TO SHIP IT TO CHINA, THEY
SHIP A BOX, THEY SHIP BACK, IT'S WAY TOO MUCH MONEY. <i>( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: HE'S GOT A PLAN.</i> HE'S GOT A PLAN AT LEAST. >> YEAH, IT'S A MAN WITH A PLAN. AND THOMAS, GREAT ACTOR, BUT
KEEPS CRACK UP WHEN I SAY, "CINCINNATI MEDICAL SCHOOL" FOR
SOME REASON. THAT TOOK ABOUT 40 TAKES. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A NEW
BOOK. IT'S CALLED "HOW TO AMERICAN." IT'S AN IMMIGRANT'S GUIDE. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU CAME
TO THE UNITED STATES? >> I WAS 13 YEARS OLD. I CAME HERE FROM HONG KONG. >> Stephen: HONG KONG, OKAY. SO WHAT WERE SOME OF THE HARDEST
PARTS OF AMERICAN-ING. DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? >> I DO NOW. BUT THERE WAS --
>> QUITE WELL, QUITE WELL. >> YEAH, I TRY. >> Stephen: WHEN YOU FIRST GOT
HERE? >> WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE, I
LEARNED ENGLISH HOW AMERICAN KIDS WOULD LEARN SPANISH, LIKE
OPAPER. BUT IF YOU DUMP A 13-YEAR-OLD
KID IN AMERICA, THEY CAN'T SURVIVE. AND I BARELY NEW HOW TO SAY
"LIBRARY." AND THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, I
REMEMBER JUST-- THE SLANG. I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE SLANG. AND I GIRL CAME UP TO ME AND
SAID, ," WHEN ASSUP?" THEY DIDN'T TEACH ME THAT IN
HONG KONG. I LOOKED UP FOR, LIKE, FIVE
SECONDS. AND I LOOKED DOWN. I WAS LIKE, "WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT'S UP THERE?"
FIRST PERIOD EVERYBODY STOOD UP AND PUT THEIR HAND ON THEIR
CHEST AND STARTING RECITING "THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE." THEY DIDN'T TEACH THAT YOU IN
HONG KONG. >> Stephen: THERE'S NO "PLEDGE
OF ALLEGIANCE" IN HONG KONG? >> NO. IT WAS SO INTERESTING. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THOSE WORDS
MEANT, EVEN. AND I JUST TRIED TO FOLLOW IT SO
I DIDN'T SEEM LIKE THE NEW FOREIGN KID WHO WAS WEIRD. I STOOD UP AND STARTED PLEDGING
ALLEGIANCE. IT WAS LIKE JOINING A CULT. >> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT, A
LITTLE BIT. YEAH. DO YOU-- DO YOUR PARENTS-- ARE
THEY HAPPY THAT YOU'RE A COMEDIAN? >> I DON'T THINK THEY GET IT. MY DAD STILL CALLS IT A "TALK
SHOW." I GUESS I AM NOW FINALLY DOING A
TALK SHOW. <i>( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> Stephen: SO HE THINKS THIS
IS WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO END UP DOOR, OR HE CALLS DOING STAND-UP
A TALK SHOW? >> HE CALLS DOING STAND-UP A
TALK SHOW. THERE WAS NO STAND UP IN CHINA. THE FIRST STAND-UP I SAW WAS ON
B.E.T. >> Stephen: NOT A LOT OF
CHINESE GUYS ON THAT. >> NOT AT ALL. BUT THEY TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT
CULTURE. I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS WHITE
PEOPLE DO THIS, BLACK PEOPLE DO THAT. IN CHINA, IT WAS ALL JUST
CHINESE PEOPLE. <i>( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: ARE YOU-- ARE YOU</i> SAYING THAT YOU CAN'T TELL
CHINESE PEOPLE APART? BECAUSE THAT'S KIND OF RACIST! THAT'S KIND OF RACIST JIMMY O. YANG. <i>( LAUGHTER )
OKAY, BUT SO NOW YOU'VE MADE IT.</i> YOU'RE-- YOU'RE EMPLOYED. HOW DID YOU GET THE JOB, BY THE
WAY, ON "SILICON VALLEY"? >> IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY. I GRADUATE U.C.S.B.-- I'M NOT AS
FANCY AS YALE. ANGELA BASSETT MIGHT BE MORE
ASIAN THAN I AM. >> Stephen: WHY, BECAUSE THERE
ARE A LOT OF-- >> I COULDN'T GET INTO YALE. >> Stephen: THERE ARE A LOT OF
ASIAN STUDENTS IN YALE. >> I AM A MEDIOCRE ASIAN AT
BEST. I COULDN'T GET INTO U.C.L.A., SO
I ENDED UP AT U.C. SAN DIEGO. I WAS AN ECONOMICS MAJOR. THAT WAS THE EASIEST MAJOR THAT
WOULD STILL PLEASE A FOREIGN PARENT. I COULDN'T CUT IT AS AN
ENGINEER. I WAS ABOUT TO GRADUATE, AND I
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WANTED TO DO. I JUST KNEW I DIDN'T WANT TO DO
ECONOMICS. <i>( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> Stephen: THE ONE THING YOU
HAD BEEN STUDYING FOR FOUR YEARS. >> FIVE YEARS, IT TOOK ME FIVE
YEARS. >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS,
CONGRATULATIONS. >> LOWERING THE BAR. >> Stephen: JUST TELL YOUR
PARENTS YOU WERE INVITED BACK ANOTHER YEAR YOU WERE SO GOOD. >> YEAR, LIKE THE FIFTH SEASON
OF A SHOW. <i>( LAUGHTER )
SO WHEN I WAS GRADUATING, I WAS</i> JUST TOTALLY LOST. AND MY COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER
HAPPENED TO BE MIKE JUDGE. I HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW HE
GRADUATE AS A PHYSICS MAJOR AND HATED HIS JOB IN THE 80s IN
SILICON VALLEY AND ENDED UP IN COMEDY. I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO GO
INTO ACTING. MIKE, WHO DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE THAT DAY DURING HIS COMMENCEMENT SPEECH,
GAVE ME THE BREAK. >> Stephen: THAT'S A FULL
CIRCLE RIGHT THERE. NOW THAT YOU'RE ON THE SHOW, NOW
DO YOUR PARENTS GET IT? NOW DO THEY THINK YOU'RE FUNNY? >> NO. MY DAD WOULD SAY, "NO, NO,
YOU'RE NOT FUNNY." <i>( LAUGHTER )
HE WILL GIVE IT UP.</i> HE WILL BE LIKE, "I DON'T THINK
YOUR STAND-UP IS FUNNY BUT I THINK 'SILICON VALLEY' IS FUNNY
BECAUSE I THINK THE WRITING IS GOOD." >> Stephen: GOT TO LOVE THEM. >> MY MOM DOESN'T GET IT AT ALL. THE FIRST TIME I SHOWED HER
"SILICON VALLEY," SHE SAID, "JIMMY, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE
TO TELL YOU DON'T HUNCH YOUR BACK." >> Stephen: YOUR MOM IS
WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BACK? >> I SAID I'M PLAYING A
CHARACTER. AND SHE SAID PLAY SOMEONE WHO
DOESN'T HUNCH THEIR BACK. >> Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU. "HOW TO AMERICAN" IS IN STORES
TODAY. JIMMY O. YANG, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
PERFORMANCE BY JACK JOHNSON.
